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When Grades and Behavior Get Worse After Starting Middle School

“Our son (high functioning) did fairly well in elementary school, but things have taken a turn for the worse in a big way ever since he started middle school. This is his first year. Grades are worse, behavior problems are off the hook, he isolates in his room all evening, has no friends, seems depressed, and I could list several more issues here. Is this an age-related issue, a school-related issue, an aspect of having the disorder - what?!”

The answer is all three. Your son has hit (or is near hitting) puberty, and the transition to middle school is a tough one – especially for kids with special needs.

When you move on from the 6th grade, you must move to a new building, which takes some time to adjust to. You take a different bus, with different students. Furthermore, the friends you made in elementary school often end up going to different middle schools. As you probably know, kids with an autism spectrum disorder HATE change and a disruption to their routine.
 

A child with High-Functioning Autism or Asperger’s often experiences the following when the move on to middle school:
  • academic performance may continue strong, but usually only in those areas of particular interest
  • anxiety issues often become apparent
  • attentional and organizational difficulties may start to occur
  • because they are frequently managed in mainstream educational settings - and their specific developmental problems may be more easily overlooked, they are often misunderstood at this age by teachers and peers
  • learning difficulties may become frequent
  • pressure may build up in the child with little clue until he or she over-reacts in a dramatically inappropriate manner
  • problems related to socialization and behavioral adjustment
  • some degree of depression is not uncommon 
  • teachers often have less opportunity to get to know the child well, and as a result, problems with behavior or study habits may be attributed to emotional, motivational, or behavioral problems
  • the child may get into escalating conflicts or power struggles with teachers and other students who may not be familiar with his or her developmental style of interacting, which can lead to more serious behavioral issues
  • their behavior may become increasingly problematic in the form of noncooperation
  • there will be ongoing subtle tendencies to misinterpret information, particularly abstract or figurative/idiomatic language
  • they may be left out, misunderstood, teased and bullied because middle school comes with pressures for conformity - and intolerance for differences
  • they want to make friends and fit in, but unable to, they may withdraw even more

First and foremost, make sure your son has an effective 504 Plan or IEP in place. Also, encourage your son to join a club, sport, or activity that he has a high interest in. In this way, he will be associating with others who share his interest. It's a great way for him to get to know peers he doesn't know yet, will help him to feel more at home at his new school. By next year, he will be that cool older student who's helping out the new student.  


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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What Parents of Teens on the Autism Spectrum Need to Know

Repetitive Thoughts in Children on the Autism Spectrum

Question

What about being sensitive to the tone of voice of people, and then having the conversations looping or repeating in my son's (high functioning autistic) head? He said they loop through his head for hours, and he has to keep going over that portion of the conversation where the tone was too loud.

Answer

A potential source of sensory overload for a youngster with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) or Asperger's is voice – especially tone of voice. The child may analyze voice-tone first, and then decode the words used by the speaker later. Any voice inflection by the speaker that remotely conveys a negative attitude (e.g., sarcasm, irritation, criticism, etc.) may be detected by the child - and taken personally.

A negative tone can be hurtful to an HFA or AS youngster, particularly if he or she is not sure why the speaker is employing a particular inflection (e.g., “Is she upset with me?” … “Did I do something wrong?” … “Why does she sound mad?”…etc.). A loop effect can occur in the child’s thinking process (i.e., mulls over the comment made by the speaker long after the conversation has ended). Anxiety, agitation and fear increase as the child attempts to analyze the motives of the speaker.

What we’re really referring to here is the child’s obsessive way of thinking. One of the most bothersome traits of the disorder may be the tendency toward repetitive thoughts (i.e., ruminations). While the ability toward extreme focus can be a strong point for many of these kids, it’s a problem when they can’t shift away from thinking about things that are not of their choosing. Often, the youngster gets caught up in worries, dwells on past slights from others, ponders their own mistakes, or has problems letting go of past hurts.

How to Deal with Ruminations: Tips for Your Child—

1. Don't put yourself down because you are thinking this way. Old habits are hard to break. You might find yourself making notes more than you would like, but keep doing it. If you have to replace a thousand negative thoughts with positive, just do it. Pretty soon that will become habit instead.

2. Identify your triggers. Determine the best possible reaction to them and keep this in mind. In addition, it may be necessary to remove the trigger from your life, if it is affecting your well-being and sanity.

3. It may be necessary for you to receive counseling from a trained professional to determine if there are some deep rooted issues causing your obsessive thinking patterns.

4. Keep an open mind about taking medication for your condition. There are many options available to help you get back on track.

5. Make mental notes of things that are being done as they are done. Write it down if necessary. While standing in front of the oven, turn it off, say to yourself "Now I am turning this oven off, I see myself doing it, I see that it is now off, I'm OK."

6. Maybe negative thinking has become an obsession for you and maybe you have thought negatively for as long as you can remember. If you find yourself thinking negatively stop and ask yourself "Is this really true what I'm thinking?"

7. Once you find yourself obsessing over a given issue, stop yourself immediately and begin to observe your thought process. You may find it necessary to record your thoughts on paper. You could become surprised at how often you are slipping into a bad thought process.

8. Realization is an important step in gaining control over obsessive thinking. One must be able to identify and realize when the thought process is getting out of hand.

9. Remember that most obsessive thinking also involves doubting. That is why OCD is also called "the doubting disease". When needing to check things over and over again, realize that you are doubting yourself; when you feel the need to recheck, doubt has crept in. By beginning to stop and take mental notes of what you have already done, you can begin to convince yourself not to recheck. Remember, checking and rechecking is a known symptom of OCD.

10. Think about what you know to be true and compare that to your negative thought. Immediately replace the negative thought with something positive.

[Please share the suggestions above with your child.]

There are two primary courses of treatment for obsessive thinking:

The first line of defense is behavioral therapy. This involves gradual conditioning of the person to tolerate anxiety and abstain from compulsive behavior. This is believed to be the most effective treatment for treating obsessive thinking and anxiety.

Medication includes selective serotinin reuptake inhibitors, benzodiazepines, serotonergic antidepressants, trycyclic antidepressants and natural drug treatment like St. John's Wort and so on. In severe cases, electro-convulsive therapy has been found to work effectively on obsessive thinking.


Highly Acclaimed Parenting Programs Offered by Online Parent Support, LLC:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

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What to Expect When Taking Your Child with Autism to the Dentist

Dr. Greg Grillo (emergencydentistsusa.com)

Going to the dentist can be an overwhelming experience, especially for patients with autism. There are bright lights, loud noises, and strange tastes and smells. These sensory elements can make going to the dentist hard for children and patients with additional needs. Luckily, knowing what to expect for their dental appointment can help lessen some anxious feelings your child may have.

It’s important that you begin taking your child to the dentist from an early age, to prevent future dental emergencies. However, if your child does experience a dental emergency you can receive the help you need here. I have been practicing family dentistry for 17 years and know how important it is for your child to have a positive experience at the dentist office. That’s why I have come up with a list of what you can expect when taking your child to the dentist, and how to prepare to make it a positive experience.

1. Experiencing nerves

Your child may be feeling anxious about visiting the dentist, especially if it’s their first time. This is expected, so don’t worry. There are thankfully many ways to work to overcome these nerves your child may be feeling and avoid other issues. A couple of things that you can do to work on these anxieties are role-playing dental visits at home and telling stories or watching videos about dental checkups. There are many ways to work through the nervousness surrounded with going to the dentist. Work together with your child to find which methods work for you for working through nerves and preparing for their dental visit. You want it to be a positive experience for your child, and your dentist does too.

2. Meeting new people

One thing you can expect with visiting the dentist is meeting new people. You will quickly be getting to know the office and staff members at your dental clinic. You and your child have an amazing opportunity to establish a positive relationship between you guys and the staff at the dental office. They will be working closely with your child so having this relationship is important.

If your child is feeling especially nervous towards visiting the dentist, try setting up a meeting ahead of time for them to visit the dental office. This will give them the chance to meet the office and staff before any work is done. They can also see what the office looks like which will make it more familiar when your child comes back for their appointment.

The staff members at your dental office are going to work to make your child’s experience as comfortable as they can. Let them know ahead of time any special accommodations you’d like to be made. These can include things such as specific toothpaste flavors or reducing waiting room time. Think of you, your child, and your dentist as a team. Collaboration and teamwork are essential in assuring the success of your child’s dental visit.

3. Preparing for what’s next

After your child’s initial dental visit, you can expect to prepare for future visits. It’s recommended that your child visits a dentist once every six months. Your child’s first visit is going to be the most difficult, but as you start to visit the dentist more often and figure out what works for you and your child, the more comfortable they will become. Find out what went well in their first visit and what can be improved upon. It’s going to be trial and error but enjoy the learning process.

One thing that will help make future visits run more smoothly is if your child can work with the same staff each time. As mentioned before, establishing that relationship with office and staff members will be beneficial in the long run. Your child will be more willing to visit the dentist if they can be around people they are familiar with. It will help ease any anxieties your child may have previously had and make sure of great and positive dental visits.

Knowing what to expect when you bring your child to the dentist is the first step in overcoming any nerves or anxieties your child may be feeling. Always keep conversations around the dentist positive and encouraging. Visiting the dentist is a great learning experience for you and your child. Remember that proper dental care is essential to your child’s health and well-being. Embrace the learning experience completely as you help your child become comfortable at the dentist.

How To Tell If Your Child Has High-Functioning Autism

"How can you tell if a child has ASD Level-1 (high-functioning autism)? And should we take him to a specialist to have him formally diagnosed?"

I'll answer the second question first: Yes, if you suspect High-Functioning Autism (HFA), then by all means seek a diagnosis so you will know for sure. It's better to know than not to know. If your child has the disorder and doesn’t know, it affects him anyway. If he does know, he can minimize the negative impact - and leverage the positive. Without the knowledge that you have it, you will often fill that void with other, more damaging explanations (e.g., I'm a failure, weird, a disappointment, not living up to my potential, etc.).

Here are some of the traits of High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's. If these characterize your son, then strongly consider consulting a professional:

1. Cognitive Issues-- Mindblindness, or the inability to make inferences about what another person is thinking, is a core issue for kids with an autism spectrum disorder. Because of this, they have difficulty empathizing with others, and will often say what they think without considering another's feelings. The HFA youngster will often assume that everyone is thinking the same thing he is. For him, the world exists not in shades of gray, but only in black and white. This rigidity in thought (i.e., lack of cognitive flexibility) interferes with problem solving, mental planning, impulse control, flexibility in thoughts and actions, and the ability to stay focused on a task until completion. The rigidity also makes it difficult for an Asperger youngster to engage in imaginative play. His interest in play materials, themes, and choices will be narrow, and he will attempt to control the play situation.

2. Difficulty with Reciprocal Social Interactions-- Children and teens with the disorder display varying difficulties when interacting with others. Some have no desire to interact, while others simply do not know how. More specifically, they do not comprehend the "give-and-take" nature of social interactions. They may want to lecture you about the Titanic, or they may leave the room in the midst of playing with a friend. They have difficulty comprehending the verbal and nonverbal cues used in typical social interactions. These include eye contact, facial expressions, body language, conversational turn-taking, perspective taking, and matching conversational and nonverbal responses to the interaction.

3. Impairments in Language Skills-- Kids on the autism spectrum have very specific problems with language, especially with pragmatic use of language, which is the social aspect. That is, they see language as a way to share facts and information (especially about special interests), not as a way to share thoughts, feelings, and emotions. The youngster will display difficulty in many areas of a conversation processing verbal information, initiation, maintenance, ending, topic appropriateness, sustaining attention, and turn taking. The youngster's prosody (i.e., pitch, stress, rhythm, or melody of speech) can also be impaired. Conversations may often appear scripted or ritualistic (i.e., it may be dialogue from a TV show or a movie). They may also have difficulty problem solving, analyzing or synthesizing information, and understanding language beyond the literal level.

4. Motor Clumsiness-- Many kids on the spectrum have difficulty with both gross and fine motor skills. The difficulty is often not just the task itself, but the motor planning involved in completing the task. Typical difficulties include handwriting, riding a bike, and ball skills.

5. Narrow Range of Interests and Insistence on Set Routines-- Due to the youngster's anxiety, his interactions will be ruled by rigidity, obsessions, and perseverations (i.e., repetitious behaviors or language) transitions and changes can cause. Generally, he will have few interests, but those interests will often dominate. The need for structure and routine will be most important. He may develop his own rules to live by that barely coincide with the rest of society.

6. Sensory Sensitivities-- Many HFA kids have sensory issues. These can occur in one or all of the senses (e.g., sight, sound, smell, touch, or taste). The degree of difficulty varies from one child to another. Most frequently, the child will perceive ordinary sensations as quite intense or may even be under-reactive to a sensation. Often, the challenge in this area will be to determine if his/her response to a sensation is actually a sensory reaction or if it is a learned behavior, driven mainly by rigidity and anxiety.


Parenting Programs Offered by Online Parent Support:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

The IEP Process: What Parents of Kids on the Autism Spectrum Need to Know

ASD: Difficulty Identifying and Interpreting Emotional Signals in Others

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a complex neurodevelopmental condition that affects an individual's ability to communicate, interact w...