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School Phobia in Students on the Autism Spectrum

At some point in their school career, High-Functioning Autistic (HFA) children are significantly challenged by anxiety. School phobia (known to professionals as school refusal), a complex and extreme form of anxiety about going to school (but not of the school itself as the name suggests), can have many causes and can include related anxiety disorders (e.g., agoraphobia and selective mutism).

Symptoms include:
  • a racing heart
  • fatigue
  • frequent trips to the toilet
  • nausea
  • shaking
  • stomachaches

Young children on the autism spectrum (up to age 7 or 8) with school phobia experience separation anxiety and cannot easily contemplate being parted from their parents, whereas older kids (8 plus) are more likely to have it take the form of social phobia where they are anxious about their performance in school (such as in games or in having to read aloud or answer questions in class).

HFA children with anxieties about going to school may suffer a panic attack if forced which then makes them fear having another panic attack and there is an increasing spiral of worry with which parents often do not know how to deal.
 

Going to school for the first time is a period of great anxiety for very young kids. Many will be separated from their parents for the first time, or will be separated all day for the first time. This sudden change can make them anxious and they may suffer from separation anxiety. They are also probably unused to having the entire day organized for them and may be very tired by the end of the day – causing further stress and making them feel very vulnerable.

For older children on the spectrum who are not new to the school, who have had a long summer break or have had time off because of illness, returning to school can be quite traumatic. They may no longer feel at home there. Their friendships might have changed. Their teacher and classroom might have changed. They may have got used to being at home and closely looked after by a parent, suddenly feeling insecure when all this attention is removed; and suddenly they are under the scrutiny of their teachers again.

Other children with HFA may have felt unwell on the school bus or in school and associate these places with further illness and symptoms of panic, and so want to avoid them in order to avoid panicky symptoms and panic attacks fearing, for example, vomiting, fainting or having diarrhea. Other kids may have experienced stressful events.




Possible triggers for school phobia include:
  1. Being bullied
  2. Being off school for a long time through illness or because of a holiday
  3. Being unpopular, being chosen last for teams and feeling a physical failure (in games and gymnastics)
  4. Bereavement (of a person or pet)
  5. Fearing panic attacks when traveling to school or while in school
  6. Feeling an academic failure
  7. Feeling threatened by the arrival of a new baby
  8. Having a traumatic experience such as being abused, being raped, having witnessed a tragic event
  9. Moving to a new area and having to start at a new school and make new friends or just changing schools
  10. Not having good friends (or any friends at all)
  11. Problems at home such as a member of the family being very ill
  12. Problems at home such as marital rows, separation and divorce
  13. Starting school for the first time
  14. Violence in the home or any kind of abuse; of the youngster or of another parent

Children with an autism spectrum disorder need to be dealt with differently as compared to kids without the disorder (e.g., teaching them relaxation techniques can actually make them more anxious).

The longer school phobia goes on, the harder it is to treat, so referrals to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services are usually quite quick to ‘nip it in the bud’. However, if your youngster is severely affected, it is better to ask for a referral (from your youngster’s doctor or head teacher) to the service before you are desperate as it is often overstretched: in reality it can take some time to get an appointment. 
 

Things you can do yourself as a parent include getting help from your youngster’s school. Teachers need to be aware there is a problem. Sometimes being taught in a special unit in school (if the school has one) may help your youngster feel more secure as it is a more comfortable place and acts as a half-way point between home and school. Some HFA children are so severely affected that they stop going to school. It should be made quite clear to your youngster’s teachers that she is not ‘playing up’ but that her anxiety is very real and she is suffering from it.

At home, life should continue and your youngster should be encouraged to carry on as normal. But she might want to stop going out, especially without you, even to parties that she was quite happy being left at before. Although you need to deal sensitively with her, if she doesn’t absolutely have to miss something, it is best to help her go by going with her for part (or all) of the time so that her world does not shrink altogether. 
 
It is also helpful to:
  • Encourage your youngster to find things she can enjoy in the school day.
  • Explain that her fears are brought on by thoughts that are not true thoughts; she is reacting to normal things in an extreme way.
  • Find things that your youngster can look forward to each day.
  • Keep to the same routine. 
  • Make her go to bed and get up at the same time every day (even on weekends) so that she has some secure framework to live around.
  • Reassure your youngster. Tell her that she will be fine once she has got over the part she dreads.
  • Tell her she is brave for going to school. Although her friends find it easy, she has a private battle she has to fight every school day.
  • Tell her you are proud of her for being so brave.

 
 
COMMENTS:

 •    Anonymous said... Homeschool was the best thing I did for my daughter.
•    Anonymous said... Homeschool!!! Made a world of difference for our son. There is no need to force children into painful, emotionally damaging situations every day.
•    Anonymous said... I am homeschooling my son this year after a horrendous attempt at mainstreaming at a new school last year that just left him feeling horrible about himself and behind academically.
•    Anonymous said... I did homeschool .. Did wonders for his self esteem
•    Anonymous said... I would agree homeschooling sounds like it would just be so so much better for him....
•    Anonymous said... My son was compressing his anxiety all day and then melting down the second he was off the bus. It would happen every single night. Several times a week the school would call be because he was vomiting. After we finally figured out what was going on, we made the decision to homeschool him. It has been the best decision we've made and a huge blessing for our family. He is doing great, light years ahead academically and happy. I wish we'd have started when he was younger and never put him through that at all. 99% of the time, his Aspergers symptoms are gone or under control now.
•    Anonymous said... My sons kindergarten teacher told me he should snap out of it. She immediately learned the extent of my vocabulary.
•    Anonymous said... Same for my son....I homeschooled my son (12) last year. This year he is going to attend a small private school that is very similar to homeschooling with multi age classrooms.
•    Anonymous said... School is a constant struggle for my 16 year old aspie son. He's currently in a special ed autistic class at his high school but he still struggles with not wanting to be there. Last year we dealt with him having thoughts of injuring/killing one of his teachers. He too would hold things in until finally blowing up. I have been told by his IEP team and school counselors that home school would be a horrible idea for him and that because he has an IEP the school would not approve it. I considered online schooling for him but was basically told no. How did you all get around that? We live in Washington state.
•    Anonymous said... they likely say that because they don't want the school to lose funding they get for kids on IEPs, and plus the school has no right to tell you how you educate your child. Since when do schools have to approve homeschooling? Sounds like bullying tactics to me. It is your choice.
•    Anonymous said... This was perfect timing for me..school starts on Tuesday and last year was a constant battle with the school and getting the kids to go. Meltdowns, nightmares, and physical illnesses all year. I have been strongly considering homeschool iand its great to know how well it has worked for others.
•    Anonymous said... We had the experience. We cyber school now and it has changed everything for the better. So grateful for options such as this to help these precious children succeed.
•    Anonymous said... Yup true, I sent my son to homeschool. Better environment for them. No bullying from teacher and friends. when there is no bully, they feel comfortable with the lesson they are in. Now he even able to skip 2 levels....

 Post your comment below…
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...
By

Communication Barriers and How to Overcome Them: Tips for Parents of Kids on the Autism Spectrum

As parents, we want our "special needs" kids to respect our rules and expectations. One of the best ways to do this is to listen first - and talk later. Your undivided attention to what your child is saying tells him that he is important to you. It shows that you value him as an individual. 
 
You care about him and every part of his life. As a result, your child will be more likely to want to please you (by following your rules and expectations). Also, you will be teaching him to be a good listener by modeling good listening skills. 

Listening-

Be prepared to drop what you are doing when your child with ASD level 1, or High-Functioning Autism (HFA), wants to talk, even when it is not the most convenient time for you. She may finally get up the courage to discuss a tough problem, and you don't want to miss the opportunity to connect with her through active listening.
 

Here are the steps to active listening:
  • Ask open-ended questions. Avoid asking questions that can be answered with a yes or no.
  • Be interested and attentive. Look into your child's eyes while she is speaking. Forget about the telephone, the television, and whatever else you were doing—just listen!
  • Don't interrupt. Sometimes, as moms and dads, we want to jump into the conversation with an opinion or a solution before letting our child finish talking. By being an active listener, we can help him work through an issue on his own instead of solving the problem for him.
  • Don't talk down to your child no matter what his age. You probably know more than he does from experience alone, but don't use this knowledge to discount his opinions. Don't say, for example, "You're only 14. What do you know about…?"
  • Follow-up. Try to remember and ask about issues or events your child talked about a day or two earlier. This shows her that you were listening and are concerned about the outcomes.
  • Give your child active feedback while she is speaking—nodding, giving verbal responses such as "I see," etc. When she has finished speaking, ask clarifying questions or restate what she's said. If she is telling you something she is enthusiastic about, for example, try to respond with similar enthusiasm.
  • Name the feeling You can help your child clarify his feelings through your active feedback by restating his thoughts or asking questions. This can help him deal with a problem or tackle a difficult task. He can clarify, for example, that he's avoiding his homework because he's afraid he can't do the math. Facing this fear will help him overcome it.
  • Watch for nonverbal messages. Posture, eye contact, and energy level—these can all be clues to your child's true feelings. She may tell you school is going okay but her nonverbal messages may tell a different story.

Talking-

Talking to your child on the autism spectrum sometimes can be a bit difficult. Maybe you start to chat with your child and you get a "look" that immediately stops conversation. Or, maybe she wants to talk to you, but you're focusing on paying the bills and are not giving her your full attention.
 

Studies show, however, that talking to "special needs" kids does have an impact, so it's important to make the effort to really communicate. Below are some common communication barriers and how to overcome them. Remember, not all of these will work in all situations, and sometimes you'll need to keep trying:
  • Blaming or preaching: Instead of saying things that make your child feel bad ("You're so stupid for doing that," or "I said so, that's why"), try using constructive "I" messages like "So, what I hear you saying is…" Offer advice and suggestions: "Let's consider what your options are and figure out the best solution…"
  • Criticizing: Let your child know that you respect her feelings and that what she has to say and how she feels are important. Even if you think a problem is minor, for example, if your child is upset because his friend wouldn't sit next to him, it's a big deal to him. It's hard to open up sometimes and if you make your child feel uncomfortable, chances are he will simply avoid having honest conversations with you.
  • Interrupting: Let your child talk without interrupting her—you will have your turn to speak. This lets your child know that you are interested in what she is saying.
  • Not creating a comfortable environment in which your child can talk: Select a good time to talk to your child—right after school or basketball practice might not be the best time to start a dialog. Let your child have a snack or take a few minutes to rest, and then start the conversation.
  • Not paying full attention to your child: Turn off the TV or radio. Make eye contact with your child—sit next to him if you need to.

Remember to praise your HFA child when he demonstrates good listening skills. It's just as important to develop these skills in your child as it is in you!

Effective communication (i.e., the sharing of ideas, opinions, and information) helps you to build bonds with your child. Doing this right with your child will encourage positive behaviors in her, help to build trust, and create a more peaceful atmosphere in the home. Not getting this right, however, could cause frustration in your child and stress in the family. Does what you say to your child encourage her to behave in ways that please you? If you don’t like your answer to this question, check your day-to-day dealings with your child.
 

You may not be getting the response you expect from your child if:
  • You act like a bully toward your child.
  • You allow your child to break rules without consequences.
  • You always answer her question “why do I have to?” with “because I said so.”
  • You ask your child to do more than he is able to for his age.
  • You complain about what your child is doing wrong, but never praise her when she does something well.
  • You give too little instructions.
  • You give too many instructions at a time.
  • You let your child call the shots every time and never take charge.
  • You never admit to being wrong.
  • You never take the time to explain “why.”
  • You use silence to show your disapproval.
  • Your child sees you doing the actions that you tell her not to do.

Sending mixed or unclear messages when you talk with your HFA child could hurt his self-esteem and open the door to problem behavior. Here are some ways to talk with your child more effectively and build a stronger bond: 
  • “Because I say so” is not the best answer—explain the reasons why.
  • Be careful about asking too much—because of age or ability a child may not be able to do some tasks well. Especially for new tasks, give detailed instructions for the chores you want your child to do.
  • Be specific—don’t leave things open to interpretation.
  • Do not ask something of your child you are not willing to do yourself—don’t yell at your child for lying and then ask her to lie to someone for you.
  • Do things together—use these opportunities to talk with and learn about your child.
  • Expect set-backs—but deal with them as soon as they happen. Talk about things that you don’t like about your child’s actions. Find a solution together, even when discipline is involved.
  • Give a little—your child is still learning, and your responsibility is to teach with understanding.
  • It’s o.k. to negotiate sometimes—it teaches your child the benefits of “give and take” which he may find useful later in life.
  • Reward your child for doing well—praise for a job well done will make your child feel good about herself and eager to please you in other things.
  • Some decisions need time—your child will see that you care about what he cares about by giving serious thought to issues that are important to him, before just saying “no.”
  • Talk with your child and not to or through him—this means listening as well as responding.
  • Treat your child with respect—don’t yell at your child and call her names. She will only learn from your example. Speak to your child in the same manner you would like her to speak to you.
  • You’re the grown-up—have the final say about important decisions, but explain to your child the reasons why you have made the decision.

Having adults in the “take charge” role makes kids on the autism spectrum feel secure and adds to their mental well-being. However, children who think they are not being treated fairly by adults could become angry and mistrustful of authority. Such children are more likely to be influenced by peers to be involved in unhealthy behaviors. Good adult-child communication can go a long way in deterring unsafe behaviors and influencing the choices HFA kids make for a lifetime. 
 
I Statements-

Healthy communication is critical to relationships, but is especially important between parent and child. Is your child listening? Does she understand you? Is your message really getting through? Showing your child how to communicate is part of parenting, but it becomes especially difficult in times of conflict.

One way to communicate with your child is by using feeling language or "I" statements—a way of expressing how you feel about a situation without placing blame or drawing a defensive or argumentative response from your child.1 Saying "you did this wrong" or "you did that bad thing" often makes people feel angry and hostile. "I" statements can help you communicate your feelings to your child in a way that makes him likely to respond with respect. "I" statements also provide HFA kids with clear, direct messages and help them understand that their actions have effects on other people. Here are a few examples:
  • When you scream loudly, I feel upset because it hurts my ears.
  • When you try to talk to me when I am on the phone, I feel annoyed because then I have to try to listen to more than one person.

"I" statements also can be used to express positive feelings:
  • When you do your homework, I feel proud because I think that school is important.
  • To begin using "I" statements, follow a basic format of three parts: When…(provide nonjudgmental description of behavior), I feel…(name your feeling), and Because…(give the effect the behavior has on you or others).

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
----------
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
By

Effective Anger-Management for Children on the Autism Spectrum

Here are our top 10 picks: Books for Kids with Anger-control Problems






















Highly Acclaimed Parenting Programs Offered by Online Parent Support, LLC:
 
 
By

Teens on the Autism Spectrum Who Threaten Suicide

"Do people with Aspergers (or high functioning autism) often take action on the threats they make when they blow up? My sister (who died tragically 5 years ago) has a 18 yr old so with AS. When he gets really worked up, he threatens to kill himself and 'take others with him'. His threats of suicide are often paired with 'if I don't get what I want', not 'I am so depressed I want to die'. These threats seem to be more of a bullying technique instead of a cry for help. I hesitate to call the police because there is no other topic that sets him off more than the police."

__________

Parents, families and teachers need to keep a watchful eye on the emerging teenager who has an autism spectrum disorder. Know the warning signs and learn about the three D's = drugs, depression and dangerous activity.

Some teens with ASD or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can deal with social isolation, but others can't, so that makes them depressed, question the reason for living, and ask themselves if there's any point in carrying on.

Often times, these "special needs" adolescents are discriminated against and outright bullied. They may be harassed to conform and fit into the humdrum “Neuro-Typical” society. Some will take their own lives if the heat gets too high.

Perhaps, if suicide is a problem with this group, it would be due to the fact that it is more difficult for them to connect emotionally with other people. They also don't realize that they will hurt others by taking such drastic action on themselves. It is overwhelming for them because basic things for some take so much effort for this group of people – and it is too easy for them to be disconnected emotionally from people.

Like all mental conditions which cause people to behave differently from the norm, autism spectrum disorders are associated with depression. Depression can be caused by a number of things including:
  • Anxiety and Panic Attacks
  • Fatigue or Tiredness due either to the condition or to the treatment of the condition
  • Guilt or regret over past actions/outburst/meltdowns
  • Miscommunications
  • Misunderstandings
  • Overwhelming feelings and thoughts
  • Social troubles because you do not seem to fit in

Teenagers on the spectrum need the love and support of family and friends more than the average teenager.

Having said this, your sister's son needs to know that if he makes threats to "take others with him" outside of the home (e.g., at school), his threats will be taken very seriously. So, to let him get away with these threats at home may not be in his best interest, because it is not representative of how the real world operates.

As one parent stated:  

"This is a very touchy subject, coming from former law enforcement. It is so super hard to know the right thing to do because they threaten so often it is almost like the boy that cried wolf thing - BUT IF he were to follow through and hurt a sibling or burn something down or hurt someone else, YOU as the parent will also be charged criminally, and your other children removed from the home because the way the law would see the situation is this: 'You KNEW he was capable of doing it and YOU CHOSE to keep it quiet and keep your other children in the situation, therefore YOU have KNOWINGLY endangered your other children'. I have been faced with this exact scenerio personally. It is so hard to know what the right thing is and the lst thing any of us want to do is feel like we could ever be put in a situation to be forced to chose between our children :( "

 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
----------
 
By

Finding Which Behavior Problems to Target First: Tips for Parents of Kids on the Autism Spectrum

Your child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) or Asperger’s (AS) seems to have a multitude of behavioral and emotional issues. Which ones should you attempt to address first? With so many problems, where do you start?

A careful analysis of the most problematic symptoms is crucial, because the choice of interventions is influenced by symptom traits. Moreover, the wide array of symptoms results in the tendency of those closest to the HFA or AS youngster to lose sight, over time, of the intervention targets.

When parents (and teachers) turn their attention to a new troubling cluster of symptoms, an intervention that has been effective may be reinterpreted as ineffective. Being attentive to symptom traits allows the parent to measure effects and introduce helpful responses. 
 
==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens High-Functioning Autism

The most important traits to consider include the following:
  1. Distribution of the behavior problems
  2. Intensity of the behavior problems
  3. Onset: Time and Location of the behavior problems
  4. Duration of the behavior problems
  5. Ameliorating Factors for the behaviors
  6. Aggravating Factors for the behaviors
  7. Trends of the behavior problems: upward or downward

1. Distribution—

The distribution of behaviors is a term for the frequency of symptoms over time. It may be obvious, but it’s worth underscoring that for most kids on the autism spectrum, the frequency of symptoms changes within days, weeks, and months. Thus, having a good awareness of the course of a symptom is important for monitoring the behavior problem.

The early, short-term effects of a particular behavioral intervention may not be the most reliable ones for predicting the overall effect that intervention delivers. Frequency also is related to settings and circumstances. Aggression or perseverative behaviors often increase or appear under certain circumstances (e.g., when there are many people talking, or when there are crowds). As a result, for behaviors that are periodic, it’s useful to rate the behavior at the time when it’s most frequent or likely to surface, rather than a general rating throughout the day, week, or month. 
 
==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens High-Functioning Autism

2. Intensity—

Intensity is a measure of the energy the child uses when engaging in the behavior. It also can be helpful to base this rating on the ease with which the child may be redirected to another, different line of behavior.

3. Onset: Time and Location—

The onset of symptoms is often related to a time and a location. The parent’s ability to know when and where symptoms surface, or under what circumstances they surface, is helpful in rating progress. When symptoms are concentrated to specific times or places, parents should first consider behavioral or educational interventions carefully. It may be that greater direction for certain activities, a break from interaction, or modifying the expectations for the HFA or AS youngster in an activity, will go a long way toward reducing maladaptive behaviors.

If a symptom only occurs in one setting, then this may lead the parent to consider intensive behavioral interventions first. More generalized behaviors can lend themselves more to pharmacologic treatments, because it can be difficult to maintain uniform responses across many different settings for behavioral interventions.

4. Duration—

Duration is self-explanatory.

5. and 6. Ameliorating and aggravating and factors—

These can indicate what triggers a behavior or what sustains it.

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

7. Trends—

The reason to consider the trend of a behavior (i.e., whether it’s increasing or decreasing) is that an intervention that is introduced as a behavior is winding down may be wrongly considered as having helped. Often, parents seek treatment for their child when a behavior is peaking in severity. For periodic situations, by the time a therapist intervenes, the behavior may be cycling down by itself. Thus, it’s often helpful to wait before intervening in order to learn about the pattern of a behavior.

Obviously, this can’t be considered when the risks to safety or jeopardy to other aspects of the child’s wellbeing prevent the therapist from taking this time. If there is some doubt about whether symptoms may respond to behavioral treatment, or if one is unsure whether things have improved or remained the same, the therapist should wait.

Case in point—

A 10-year-old girl with autism (high-functioning) was brought to treatment for picking behaviors that had become a part of her bedtime routine. Each night, she would dig at her arms. After extensive efforts by the parents to learn about the pattern of her behavior, it appeared that it was influenced by the course of interactions at school during the day. 

Although the child herself didn’t make the connection between being teased or having arguments with peers and her self-picking, it was possible to use relaxation techniques to reduce the intensity and duration of this behavior. In addition, the child’s mother and father were able to talk with her in the early evening about specific events from throughout the day that created angst before she went to bed. Overtime, the behaviors were significantly reduced (although they didn’t disappear altogether).


Highly Acclaimed Parenting Programs Offered by Online Parent Support, LLC:
By

Family Stress and Establishing Intervention Priorities for Kids on the Autism Spectrum

When prioritizing interventions for the child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA), parents should decide which factors contribute to an adverse family environment.

A common mistake made by doctors and therapists who work with families affected by autism spectrum disorders is to treat the HFA symptoms, when in fact it’s the parent's depression or anxiety that is a major contribution to family strain. (Note: Sibling-conflict may also be a factor contributing to family strain.)

Often, high levels of parental stress lead therapists to prescribe for the “special needs” youngster rather than educate parents and recommend that they obtain therapy. This is not to say that parents and siblings must be infinitely adaptable to the HFA child’s problematic symptoms, or that family problems are always the result of parental issues. The point is that family distress has many sources. 
 

Using medication in certain cases may reduce the HFA child’s inflexibility, instability, and anxiety, and therefore improve life at home for everyone. However, if the persistent anxiety of raising a youngster on the autism spectrum has fueled depression or anxiety in his or her parent, or has inflamed conflict in the marriage, usually treating only the “special needs” youngster is not enough. To treat issues in the parent(s), or the tension between partners/spouses, it is most likely that specific treatment is needed.

The quantity, scale, and range of difficulties experienced by children with HFA can be confusing. Everyone involved, the child, parents, and even teachers, can be swept up in this difficulty. The first challenge is to create the hierarchy of symptoms - and the problems they create. Often, problems fall into a cluster of symptoms. The primary task of the parent is to determine which symptoms should be targeted first. Creating a hierarchy of specific symptoms lends itself to methods for behavioral modification.

Questions and “order of consideration” when approaching this dilemma include symptoms that (a) threaten the safety of the child, family members, or others; (b) create anxiety for the child; (c) are sources of adversity in the family's life; and (d) jeopardize sustained educational progress.

Safety is the most persuasive reason that kids on the autism spectrum are referred for therapy. Aggression and violent outbursts are common in many on these young people, and they may engage in other types of risky behaviors (e.g., throwing or destroying objects). In addition, there are traits of the disorder that make aggression and self-injury harder to control. 
 

Additional factors that may contribute to problematic behavior in the HFA child include the tendency to engage in repetitive and stereotyped behaviors, rigid adherence to patterns or behaviors, lack of empathy for others, deficits in generalizing from one circumstance to another, and deficits in abilities to soothe and comfort themselves. As a result, the safety to kids on the spectrum - and those around them - are the highest priority.

The child’s emotional distress takes center stage once safety is not a primary worry. Kids on the autism spectrum who are sad, anxious, or continually irritable have great difficulty learning, monitoring themselves, and “reading” their environment. Their emotions override their abilities to recognize events and think through the solutions to everyday problems.

Also, in many cases they can’t respond with the necessary flexibility to the rapidly changing demands of the social world. As a result, emotional distress often destroys opportunities to learn information, increase social relating, and gain new social skills. A child who is constantly upset will not be able to demonstrate his or her actual abilities.

The effects of an HFA youngster's symptoms on a family are diverse, and some symptoms can be extremely challenging. Adverse effects on a family can be difficult to isolate - and harder still to quantify. Sometimes, the symptoms exhibited by kids on the autism spectrum exceed what parents can manage.

The way parents adapt to the “special needs” youngster grows out of a complex interplay of his or her social skills, deficits, temperament, and the limitations and demands of other family members that must be met. 


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
 
 
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Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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High-Functioning Autism and Asperger’s: A Normal Variant of Personality?



All the traits that describe High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s (AS) can be found in varying degrees in the normal population. For example:

  • People differ in their levels of skill in their ability to read nonverbal social cues.
  • The capacity to withdraw into an inner world of one's own special interests is available in a greater or lesser measure to everyone. In fact, this ability has to be present in those who are creative artists, scientists, mathematicians, musicians, etc.
  • A lot of people have outstandingly rote memories - and even retain vivid imagery into adult life.
  • Collecting objects (e.g., stamps, old glass bottles, or railway engine numbers) are socially accepted hobbies. 
  • Many who are capable and independent as grown-ups have special interests that they pursue with marked enthusiasm. 
  • People differ in their levels of skill in social interaction.
  • There is an equally wide distribution in motor skills.
  • Pedantic speech and a tendency to take things literally can also be found in many people.

In one documented case, a man whose visual memories of objects and events were so vivid and so permanent that they interfered with his comprehension of their significance, appeared to behave like someone with Asperger’s. However, he did not meet enough of the criteria to actually receive the diagnosis of the disorder.

The difference between someone with HFA or AS and the “neurotypical” (i.e., non-autistic person) who has a complex inner world is that the neurotypical does take part appropriately in two-way social interaction most of the time, whereas the HFA or AS person does not.

Also, the neurotypical, however elaborate his or her inner world, is influenced by social experiences, whereas the person on the autism spectrum seems cut off from the effects of outside contacts.

People are usually diagnosed with HFA or AS because they are at the extreme end of the normal continuum on all these characteristics. In a few of these individuals, one particular aspect may be so marked that it affects the whole of their functioning. 

Even though HFA and AS do appear to merge into the normal continuum, there are many cases in whom the problems are so marked that the suggestion of a distinct “disorder” seems a more likely explanation than a “variant of normality.”


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