My ASD Child

Crucial "Tip-Sheet" for Teachers of High-Functioning Autistic Students

“Would there happen to be a sort of ‘tip-sheet’ that I could send my son’s teacher, something concise but informative? He has high-functioning autism, and I get the impression that the teacher views him as just another ‘typical’ student, which I can tell you he’s not! He does perform well in many areas, but in others, he is struggling, and it’s in those areas that he gets accused of have behavior problems, but I think in most cases it’s part of his autistic characteristics.”

Feel free to share the following general points with your son’s teacher, which include classroom strategies specifically for students on the autism spectrum:

1. Children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s dislike change, especially when it’s unexpected. Prepare the child for all changes in routine (e.g., assembly, substitute teacher, rescheduling, etc.). Ideally, use a visual schedule to prepare him for change.

2. Students on the autism spectrum have trouble with organizational skills regardless of their intelligence and age. Even a "straight A" child with HFA who has a photographic memory can constantly forget to bring a pencil to class or to remember a deadline for an assignment. In such cases, assistance should be provided in the least restrictive way possible. Strategies may include having the student put a picture of a pencil on the cover of his notebook or maintaining a list of assignments to be completed at home.

3. Kids on the spectrum seem to have either the neatest or the messiest desks or lockers in the school. The one with the messiest desk will need your help in frequent cleanups of the desk or locker so that he can find things. Please remember that he is probably not making a conscious choice to be messy. He is most likely incapable of this organizational task without specific training.

4. These “special needs” young people have problems with abstract and conceptual thinking. Some may eventually acquire abstract skills, but others never will. When abstract concepts must be used, use visual cues (e.g., drawings or written words) to augment the abstract idea. Avoid asking vague questions (e.g., "Why did you do that?"). Also, avoid asking essay-type questions. Be as concrete as possible in all your interactions with the HFA child.

==> Guide to Teaching Students with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

5. If your high-functioning student uses repetitive verbal arguments or questions, you should interrupt what can become a continuing, repetitive litany. Continually responding in a logical manner or arguing back seldom stops this behavior. The subject of the argument or question is not always the subject that has upset him. More often, the child is communicating a feeling of loss of control or uncertainty about someone or something in the environment.

Try requesting that he write down the question or argumentative statement. Then write down your reply. This usually begins to calm him down and stops the repetitive activity. If that doesn't work, write down his repetitive question or argument and ask him to write down a logical reply (perhaps one he thinks you would make). This distracts from the escalating verbal aspect of the situation and may give him a more socially acceptable way of expressing frustration or anxiety. Another alternative is role-playing the repetitive argument or question with you taking his part and having him answer you as he thinks you might.

6. If your class involves pairing-off or choosing partners, either draw numbers or use some other arbitrary means of pairing. As an alternative, you could ask an especially kind student if he or she would agree to choose the HFA child as a partner before the pairing takes place. The child on the spectrum is most often the one left with no partner.

7. If the child does not seem to be learning a task, break it down into smaller steps or present the task in several ways (e.g., visually, verbally, and physically).

8. Do not take misbehavior personally. The HFA student is not usually a manipulative, scheming child who is trying to make life difficult for teachers. Most often, misbehavior is the result of efforts to survive experiences that may be confusing, disorienting or scary. Kids on the spectrum are, by virtue of their disability, egocentric. Also, most of them have extreme difficulty reading the reactions of others.

9. Be aware that normal levels of auditory and visual input can be perceived by the HFA student as too much or too little (e.g., the hum of florescent lighting may be extremely distracting). Consider environmental changes (e.g., removing visual clutter from the room, seating changes if the child seems distracted, etc.).

10. Avoid verbal overload. Be clear. Use shorter sentences if you perceive that the child does not fully understanding you. Although he probably has no hearing problem and may be paying attention, he may have difficulty understanding your main point and identifying important information.

More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

11. Uneven skills-development is a hallmark of HFA. Assume nothing when assessing skills (e.g., the student may be a math whiz in Algebra, but not able to make simple change at a cash register; he may have an incredible memory about books he has read, speeches he has heard, or sports statistics, but still may not be able to remember to bring a pencil to class).

12. An increase in unusual or difficult behaviors probably indicates an increase in anxiety for the HFA student. Sometimes anxiety is caused by feeling a loss of control. Many times, the stress will only be alleviated when the child physically removes himself from the stressful event or situation. If this occurs, a program can be set up to assist the student in re-entering and/or staying in the stressful situation. When this occurs, a "safe-place" or "safe-person" may come in handy.

13. Use and interpret speech literally. Until you know the capabilities of the HFA child, try to avoid the following:

sarcasm (e.g., saying, "Great!" after he has just spilled a bottle of ketchup on the table)
nicknames
idioms (e.g., ‘save your breath’, ‘jump the gun’, ‘second thoughts’)
double meanings (most jokes have double meanings)
"cute" names (e.g., Pal, Buddy, Wise Guy)

14. Since children on the autism spectrum experience various communication difficulties, it’s best not to rely on them to relay important messages to their parents about school events, assignments, school rules, etc. (unless you try it on an experimental basis with follow-up or you are already certain that the HFA student has mastered this skill).

Even sending home a note for his mom or dad may not work. The child may not remember to deliver the note, or may lose it before reaching home. Phone calls to the parent work best until the skill can be developed. Frequent and accurate communication between the teacher and parent is very important.

==> Guide to Teaching Students with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

Help for the Emotionally Fragile Student on the Autism Spectrum

“My high functioning autistic child struggles emotionally while at school. His self-esteem is low, and he is often very self-critical and unable to tolerate making mistakes. Also, he is easily overwhelmed when things are not as his rather rigid views dictate they should be. Any suggestion for his teachers in this regard?”

Kids with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s have the intelligence to participate in regular education, but they often do not have the emotional resources to cope with the demands of the classroom. Many are easily stressed due to their inflexibility. Temper outbursts are common in response to anxiety and frustration. Also, interacting with classmates and coping with the ordinary demands of schoolwork can produce a significant amount of self-doubt (e.g., the child starts to believe that he or she is “dumb”).

These “special needs” students are so easily overwhelmed by environmental stressors, and have such profound impairment in the ability to form interpersonal relationships, that it is no wonder they give the impression of emotional instability. Most children on the autism spectrum are aware of how different they are and the enormous effort they have to make to participate in a world where few concessions are made and where they are expected to conform to the “typical” way of doing things.

With these traits in mind, here are a few suggestions for your son’s teachers:

1. Teachers must be alert to changes in behavior that may indicate frustration and discouragement (e.g., greater levels of disorganization, inattentiveness, isolation, anxiety, etc.). Do not accept the HFA youngster's assessment in these cases that he or she is "OK." Also, do not expect the youngster to acknowledge that he or she is sad, confused, angry, etc. In the same way, the child has difficulty perceiving the feelings of others.

2. Teach the student how to cope when stress overwhelms him or her. Help the youngster write a list of very concrete steps that can be followed when he or she becomes upset, for example:

Ask to see the special education teacher
Breathe deeply three times
Count the fingers on your right hand slowly three times

Include a ritualized behavior that the youngster finds comforting on the list. Write these steps on a card that is placed in his or her pocket so that they are always readily available.

3. Prevent outbursts by offering a high level of consistency. Prepare the HFA child for changes in daily routine in order to lower stress. Children on the autism spectrum frequently become fearful, angry and upset in the face of forced or unexpected changes.

4. Teachers can play a vital role in helping students on the autism spectrum learn to negotiate the world around them. Because they are frequently unable to express their fears and anxieties, it is up to significant adults to make it worthwhile for them to leave their safe inner fantasy lives for the uncertainties of the external world.

5. Students who are very fragile emotionally may need placement in a highly structured special education classroom that can offer individualized academic program. These “special needs” kids require a learning environment in which they see themselves as competent and productive. Therefore, keeping them in the mainstream, where they can’t grasp concepts or complete assignments, serves only to lower their self-esteem, increase their withdrawal, and set the stage for tantrums and meltdowns.

6. Adults who work with these youngsters in schools must provide the external structure, organization, and stability that they lack. Using creative teaching strategies is critical – not only to facilitate academic success, but also to help them feel less alienated from their peer-group and less overwhelmed by the ordinary demands of schoolwork.

7. In some situations, a personal aide can be assigned to the youngster rather than special education placement. The aide can offer affective support, structure and consistent feedback.

8. Kids on the spectrum should receive academic assistance as soon as difficulties in a particular area are noted. They are quickly overwhelmed and react much more severely to failure than do “typical” kids.

9. For the student who fears making mistakes, be sure to articulate that mistakes are a necessary part of the learning process and should be expected - and accepted. Praise the child for small, independent steps regardless of outcome. Gently brush aside his or her anxiety about not getting the answer by refocusing attention on the problem at hand. Ask the child to build on what he or she already knows about the problem, and ask for one possible approach to the problem.

10. Affect as reflected in the teacher's voice should be kept to a minimum. Be calm, predictable, and matter-of-fact in interactions with the HFA student, while clearly indicating compassion and patience. These students need very concrete instructions. Teachers who don’t understand that it is necessary to teach students on the spectrum seemingly obvious things may come to feel impatient and irritated.

Highly Acclaimed Parenting Programs Offered by Online Parent Support, LLC:

Do you need the advice of a professional who specializes in parenting children and teens with Autism Spectrum Disorders? Sign-up for Online Parent Coaching today.

Help for Children on the Autism Spectrum with Poor Motor Coordination

“What tips might you have for an HFA child who is a bit clumsy and has sloppy handwriting?”

Children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s (AS) are often physically awkward. Many have stiff, uncoordinated gaits - and struggle in games involving motor skills. Also, they often experience fine-motor deficits that can cause penmanship problems, slow clerical speed, and affect their ability to draw.

Other coordination problems that children on the spectrum may experience include:

difficulty moderating the amount of sensory information that their body is constantly sending them, and as a result, they are prone to sensory overload and anxiety
fatigue due to so much extra energy being expended while trying to execute physical movements correctly
low muscle tone
moderate to extreme difficulty performing physical tasks
poor sense of direction
problems with balance
struggling to distinguish left from right

Here are some tips for parents and teachers:

1. Children on the autism spectrum usually benefit from guidelines drawn on paper that help them control the size and uniformity of the letters they write. This also forces them to take the time to write carefully.

2. When assigning timed units of work, make sure the youngster's slower writing speed is taken into account.

3. Refer the youngster for adaptive physical education program if gross motor problems are severe.

4. Children with HFA and AS may require a highly individualized writing program that entails tracing and copying on paper, coupled with motor-patterning on the blackboard. The teacher guides the youngster's hand repeatedly through the formation of letters and letter connections - and also uses a verbal script. Once the youngster commits the script to memory, he or she can talk himself or herself through letter formations independently.

5. Involve the youngster in a health & fitness curriculum in physical education, rather than in a competitive sports program.

6. These “special needs” kids often need more time than their peers to complete exams. Taking exams in the resource room not only offers more time, but would also provide the added structure and teacher redirection these kids need to focus on the task at hand.

7. Do not push the youngster to participate in competitive sports, because his or her poor motor coordination may only invite frustration and the teasing from peers. Also, the HFA or AS child usually lacks the social understanding of coordinating one's own actions with those of others on a team.

Treatment—

Physical or occupational therapists can work with HFA and AS children to develop and improve their physical skills and strengthen their muscles. Targeted multi-sensory interventions include:

Perceptual Motor Training: This involves retraining the child’s body to recognize and prioritize various sources of stimuli and respond accordingly (e.g., he or she may learn how to use certain muscle groups rather than others while walking or grasping things).
Sensory Integrative Therapy: This teaches the child how to properly absorb and sort information about sensory experiences (e.g., touch, body position, sound, etc.).

For some HFA and AS kids, poor motor coordination lessens over time. For others, the lack of coordination continues through adolescence and into young adulthood. Though early intervention is better than later intervention, treatment received as an adult can still help lessen the severity of symptoms.

Highly Acclaimed Parenting Programs Offered by Online Parent Support, LLC:

Do you need the advice of a professional who specializes in parenting children and teens with Autism Spectrum Disorders? Sign-up for Online Parent Coaching today.

Poor Concentration in Students on the Autism Spectrum: Tips for Teachers

“Any tips for assisting my autistic student (high-functioning) with staying more focused and on task?”

Children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s are often off task, distracted by internal stimuli, can be very disorganized, and have difficulty sustaining focus on classroom activities. Often it is not that the attention is poor, rather that the focus is "odd."

In other words, the child can’t figure out what is relevant, so attention is often focused on irrelevant stimuli. In addition, these “special needs” students tend to withdrawal into complex inner worlds in a manner much more intense than is typical of daydreaming.

Here are a few suggestions to help with poor concentration in students on the autism spectrum:

1. Work out a nonverbal signal with your HFA student (e.g., a gentle pat on the shoulder) for times when he or she is not attending.

2. Encourage the student to leave his or her inner thoughts and fantasies behind and refocus on the real world. This will be easier said than done though, because the comfort of that inner world is most likely much more attractive than anything in real life.

Even free play needs to be structured, because kids on the spectrum can become so immersed in solitary, ritualized fantasy-play that they lose touch with reality. For example, encouraging your student to play a board game with one or two others under close supervision not only structures play, but offers an opportunity to practice social skills.

3. When possible, seat your HFA student at the front of the class and direct frequent questions to him or her. This may also help the child to attend to the lessons.

4. Children with HFA and Asperger’s often benefit from timed work-sessions. This keeps their interest levels up and helps them stay organized. Factors that cause the “special needs” student to lose interest during the allocated time-frame include:

Over-reliance on seat-work
Uninteresting and overly demanding lessons and other non-engaging activities
Uneven transitions between activities
Inefficient classroom-management that disrupts the learning flow (e.g., disorderly material distribution or disorganized assignment collection)
Unscheduled interruptions

==> Teaching Students with Aspergers and HFA <==

5. Students on the autism spectrum need firm expectations and a structured program that teaches them that compliance with rules leads to positive reinforcement. This approach motivates the youngster to be productive, thus enhancing self-esteem and lowering stress levels (because the youngster sees himself or herself as competent).

6. Poor concentration, slow clerical speed, and severe disorganization may make it necessary to (a) lessen the child’s homework and classwork load, and (b) provide time in a resource room where a special education teacher can provide the additional structure the youngster needs to complete the work.

Bear in mind that many young people with HFA and Asperger’s are so unable to concentrate that it places undue stress on parents to expect that they spend hours each night trying to get through homework with their youngster.

7. Consider using a “buddy system.” If one is used, sit the youngster's buddy next to him or her so the buddy can remind the HFA youngster to return to task or listen to the lesson.

8. A tremendous amount of regimented external structure must be provided if your student is to be productive in the classroom. Assignments should be broken down into small units, and frequent teacher feedback and redirection should be offered.

Highly Acclaimed Parenting Programs Offered by Online Parent Support, LLC:

Do you need the advice of a professional who specializes in parenting children and teens with Autism Spectrum Disorders? Sign-up for Online Parent Coaching today.

Dealing with Restricted Range of Interests in Kids on the Autism Spectrum

“Any tips for dealing with a child (high functioning) who only talks about his current favorite game (Lego DC super-villains)? When I say ‘only’ – I mean as in 100 % of the time. His incessant rambling on this subject gets in the way of homework, chores, dinnertime, bedtime, and annoys his siblings (just to name a few). Please help!”

You’re definitely not alone. Kids with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s often have eccentric preoccupations or intense fixations (e.g., sometimes obsessively collecting unusual things).

They tend to ask repetitive questions about the special interest, follow their own inclinations regardless of external demands, have trouble letting go of ideas, refuse to learn about anything outside their limited field of interest, and relentlessly "lecture" on areas of interest.

Here are a few suggestions for dealing with your son’s obsession:

1. Use your son’s fixation to broaden his interests. Get really creative here! For example, he can use his fascination with Lego DC Super-Villains as a way to:

contemplate important social skills (e.g., one mother of an HFA child stated, “The main draw of the game for my son is he absolutely has a blast having his character interact with others in the world and actually be a major part of the story”)
gain a better understanding of his emotions (e.g., another parent remarked, “This game was a huge hit in my house as my son made multiple costumes depending on his mood”).

2. Use positive reinforcement selectively directed to shape a desired behavior. Most kids on the autism spectrum respond well to compliments. In the case of your son relentlessly talking about one topic, you can consistently praise him as soon as he pauses – and congratulate him for allowing others to speak. Your son should also be praised for simple, expected social behavior that is taken for granted in his “typical” siblings.

3. Some kids on the spectrum will simply refuse to focus on something outside of their area of interest. In this case, firm expectations must be set for doing chores, completion of homework, getting ready for bed, etc. It must be made very clear to your son that he is not in control, and that he must follow specific rules. At the same time, however, meet him halfway by giving him opportunities to pursue his own interests at the appropriate times.

4. See if it’s possible for your son’s teacher to give some assignments that link his interest to a subject being studied at school. For example, during a social studies unit about a specific country, one student (with Asperger’s) who was obsessed with trains was assigned to research the modes of transportation used by people in that country.

5. Do not allow your son to repeatedly discuss - or ask questions about - his isolated interest. Limit this behavior by designating a specific time during the day when he can talk about it. For example, if while eating dinner you are talking about the guests who will be coming over for a Christmas party, but your son intrudes with a monologue about the Lego game, you can simply state the “we are not discussing your game right now …we can talk about that after dinner” (then continue with the original conversation).

One child who was fixated on animals and had endless questions about turtles knew that she was allowed to ask these questions only after dinner. This was part of her daily routine, and she quickly learned to stop herself when she began asking these kinds of questions at other times of the day.

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Launching Adult Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social-Skills and Emotion-Management to Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...

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A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...

HFA Students and Social Problems in the Classroom: Tips for Teachers

“I’m a 5th grade teacher (Baltimore area) with a challenging 10 year old student diagnosed on the high functioning end of autism. My question is what are some of the ‘social areas’ these special needs students struggle in, and how can I tailor my approach to make accommodations for those areas?”

Children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s have several important areas of challenge that can negatively impact their social competence.

Here are the main ones:

usually have a desire to be part of the social world, but lack the skills to do so
use monotone or stilted, unnatural tone of voice
use inappropriate gaze and body language
take expressions literally
over-eagerness to answer questions or participate in classroom activities
often talk at people instead of to them
often avoid eye contact
misinterpret social cues
may not like physical contact
may “appear” egocentric
lack of control of facial expression
inability to grasp implied meanings
have well-developed speech but poor communication
exhibit poor ability to initiate and sustain conversation
do not understand jokes, irony or metaphors
constant reiteration of facts and figures related to subjects that interest them
clumsiness
can’t judge "social distance"
are sometimes labeled "little professor" because speaking style is so adult-like and pedantic
are much younger emotionally than their “typical” peers
are easily taken advantage of (do not perceive that others sometimes lie or trick them)
an inability to understand complex rules of social interaction

Here are a few suggestions to implement that may help your HFA student with some of the social-skills deficits he or she encounters:

1. Perhaps first and foremost, protect the youngster from bullying and teasing. HFA students often benefit from a "buddy system." Thus, you could educate a sensitive classmate about the situation of your HFA student and seat them next to each other. The classmate could look out for the “special needs” student on the bus, during recess, in the hallways, etc., as well as attempt to include him or her in school activities.

2. Most children on the autism spectrum want friends, but simply do not know how to interact. Therefore, they should be taught how to react to social cues and be given repertoires of responses to use in various social situations. Put simply, teach your HFA student what to say and how to say it. Model two-way interactions, and let him or her role-play. The social judgment of these young people improves only after they have been taught rules that others pick up intuitively.

3. Kids on the spectrum tend to be reclusive. Thus, it would be helpful to foster involvement with others. Encourage active socialization and limit time spent in isolated pursuit of interests (e.g., a teacher's aide seated at the lunch table could actively encourage the youngster to participate in the conversation of his or her peers).

4. Praise classmates when they treat your HFA student with compassion (this may prevent scapegoating while promoting empathy and tolerance).

5. Emphasize the proficient academic skills of the HFA youngster by creating cooperative learning situations in which his or her reading skills, vocabulary, memory, etc. will be viewed as an asset by peers, thereby engendering acceptance.

6. Although they lack personal understanding of the emotions of others, kids on the spectrum can learn the correct way to respond. When they have been unintentionally insulting, tactless or insensitive, it must be explained to them why the response was inappropriate and what response would have been correct. Children with HFA must learn social skills intellectually due to the fact that they lack social instinct and intuition.

Many of the traits of HFA can be "masked" by average to above average IQ scores. This can result in the student being misunderstood by teachers. They may presume that he or she is capable of more than is being produced. Lack of understanding of the HFA student in this way can significantly impede the desire of teachers to search for strategies useful in overcoming the hindrances caused by the disorder.

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:

More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...

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Click here for the full article...

Helping Children On The Autism Spectrum Who Have Difficulty Picking Up On Social Cues

Question

Our 10-year-old son is diagnosed with high functioning autism. He is bright and inquisitive, but has great difficulty picking up on social cues and understanding many aspects of friendship. We struggle to coach him in these areas ...our explanations often don’t make sense to him. Any suggestions?

Answer

High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger's presents kids with a variety of social and emotional stumbling blocks. Due to difficulties understanding implied meaning, humor, and other inferential reasoning skills, these young people are often confused by the rapidly changing landscape of social interaction.

Their tendency toward quick and literal interpretation of words can produce significant problems with establishing and maintaining friendships. Preoccupations with narrow, solitary interests can impede their capacity to converse on the range of topics that typically interest peers.

Moms and dads of kids on the autism spectrum often help them make sense of their social world, but success can be fleeting and isolated to certain circumstances.

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management

Here are some coaching tips that may increase the success rate:

Road Maps--

Think of the social world as a variety of “relationship road maps” that your youngster needs to perceive accurately and use talking tools to be able to follow. On various pieces of paper, draw “roads” of how conversations flow depending upon environmental cues. Cues include who your youngster is with, where it takes place, what the other youngster says and the degree of familiarity your youngster has with a peer.

For instance, if your son bumps into a friend at a movie theater, depict how the initial greeting may lead to a short period of questioning about the movie, and finally to a closing remark about the next time he might see the peer again. Be sure to emphasize that what is said is just as important as perceiving the available cues in order to keep comments on target and within the boundaries of the environment.

Refer to boundaries as the lines that keep people within the relationship road they are supposed to be on. Boundaries are a critical piece of the social puzzle, but are often ignored by kids with HFA and Asperger's since they are subtle and hard to distinguish.

Make boundaries visual by depicting the kinds of statements and behaviors that are appropriate to the particular “road” (write them within the road) and examples of responses that are not (write them outside of the road). Explain how behaving within the boundaries protect the feelings of others and tells people that we are aware of what is going on around us. Depict how boundaries are more narrow when first meeting people, but gradually widen as they become more familiar. Likewise, display how boundaries are narrow or wide depending on the people present, situation and other circumstances.

Offer ways of understanding humor or typical childhood banter that uses available environmental cues. Kids on the spectrum can easily get caught in the throes of strong emotional reactions to common antagonistic statements made by peers. The intention of such comments may be to entertain bystanders, self-inflate, or trigger over-reactions by the youngster in question. But no matter the intention, if your son reacts with verbal or physical aggression, he is going to pay severe penalties. This makes it especially critical to coach anticipation skills that normalize typical peer-baiting.

Draw another relationship road that depicts some of the standard comments that kids say to each other in various circumstances. Add a thinking bubble that contains a self-instruction to help your son keep his cool.

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management

Multimedia Technologies--

Consider using multimedia technologies to augment social skills training for your son. Many types of multimedia technologies can be an excellent match for the specific learning styles and preferences of children with HFA and Asperger's (e.g., virtual environments, simulations, videos, etc.). Since most kids on the spectrum are visual learners, videos, simulations, virtual environments, pictures and other multimedia are effective teaching tools.

For example, you could video tape your son playing with friends, and then use the video to conduct a discussion (or “autopsy”) of the social interactions. Still images from the video could be captured and used to create a slide show with text or loaded onto a smart phone to be used as reminders when your son is in mainstream environments.

AS and HFA children seem to learn social skills best when they are taught in authentic situations using a variety of mediums. Role playing, listening to Social Stories, observing peer behavior, and conducting social skills autopsies can all be augmented with the use of multimedia tools.

==> Click here for information, and the associated parenting strategies, on dealing with Oppositional Defiant Disorder in kids and teens on the autism spectrum...

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management

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Crucial "Tip-Sheet" for Teachers of High-Functioning Autistic Students

Help for the Emotionally Fragile Student on the Autism Spectrum

Help for Children on the Autism Spectrum with Poor Motor Coordination

Poor Concentration in Students on the Autism Spectrum: Tips for Teachers

Dealing with Restricted Range of Interests in Kids on the Autism Spectrum

HFA Students and Social Problems in the Classroom: Tips for Teachers

Helping Children On The Autism Spectrum Who Have Difficulty Picking Up On Social Cues

ASD: Difficulty Identifying and Interpreting Emotional Signals in Others