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Helping Your Teen on the Spectrum to Prepare for Adulthood

"I have a 17 year old with autism (high functioning). She was a late diagnosis (wasn’t diagnosed until age 15). How do you help a teen with transition services (e.g., getting a job, learning to drive, going to college, etc.) when she doesn’t have any desire to learn or do any of those things?"

Unfortunately, the diagnoses of High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger's does not receive the same government support as do other more well-known disabilities. When financial assistance is not available for therapy or medication, disorders go untreated, and the teenager with HFA experiences emotional and social difficulties. 

If you can afford medical services, obtain them as soon as you can. If you cannot afford such services, check with your daughter’s school. They can design an individualized treatment plan (IEP) for her. 

 The ideal treatment plan involves your daughter, a therapist, her teachers, and her parents. While you may not be able to afford therapy for your daughter, you will learn a lot of coping principles at the treatment plan meetings.

A quick, easy way for you to start helping your daughter is to begin reading books and e-books about the disorder. There are many titles on the subject. Start by going on the internet and typing the words “girls with high functioning autism” or “autistic teens.” These resources can be purchased on the Internet, or you can make note of the titles and take them to your local bookstore. They will order them for you. 
 

In addition to the Internet, keep up with the information provided on this website. Make it a habit to read the questions and answers on this website to get the information you need. 

Another source of information is your nearest Autism or Asperger’s Association and support group. They will refer you to free or low cost services available in your area.

All parents of children on the autism spectrum worry about their child’s diagnosis as well as their future. There is an excellent video available titled “Asperger’s Syndrome: Transition to College and Work” by Dan and Julie Coulter.

At the age of 17, your daughter is coping with adolescence in addition to her diagnosis. Talk with her about the future, and discuss the benefits of driving, going to work, and attending college. Don’t expect her to make conclusive decisions about these subjects - especially college.

Prioritize her issues. First, make sure she gets treatment for her disorder. See if there is a teen support group in your area, and take the rest slowly. Her first goal should be learning about - and getting treatment for - her symptoms.

One educational option for your daughter is a junior college as opposed to a university. Colleges are now accommodating their growing populations of disabled students who begin their studies with a variety of diagnoses. 

 Community college can be an excellent choice for a "special needs" student, because students at community colleges get more counseling support, and since most community college students are still living at home, they have fewer new adjustments to make. 

Whether she chooses a community or four year college, it is best to find one that offers special programs for students with disabilities. Before enrolling, students with an autism spectrum disorder need help planning a manageable course load.

One way to help prepare your daughter for adulthood is a part-time job while in high school. See if you can determine your daughter’s vocational strengths and interests that will help her be successful with part-time employment. 

She most certainly has a special interest or hobby. See if there's a part-time employment opportunity that ties into her favorite activity. Across the country, employment opportunities are quite high currently, with a lot of businesses unable to find enough workers to fill the openings. Use this to your favor.


 


Parents' Comments:
  • Ageless student said...My 16 year old daughter is also a high functioning Asperger teen. Her therapist and I have agreed for some time now, however others refuse to accept it, including my daughter. She is intellectually very smart, but has no motivation and no idea what she wants to do in the future, although she says she wants to go to college. She is extremely smart intellectually, but has difficulty with keeping her grades up. She is afraid to drive (although does not admit it...just says she doesn't want too), refuses to consider getting a job. I believe much of it is due to immaturity and difficulty with any type of transition. We have provided her with every type of service available to us, to no avail. She has been in therapy for many years now and just recently we have seen a very slight (baby step) improvement. Even that small improvement shows she is moving forward and that is all I can hope for.
  • FrankieThaLuckyDog said...I have Asperger's...; have courage! I got my license from a special driver's center at 19. And, at 25 now, I still deal with immaturity with developing friendships, and I don't have a job, but am searching. I'm very talented, but no one's considering me for tha field I'm in, yet (video production/editing). So, by not bein' hired, at tha moment, I'm staying VERY active by making my own VH1-like video countdowns, of my Top 50, 100 moments/songs I like, during a particular era.
  • pooter527 said...Sounds like you are doing very well. Good luck.
 

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Video Game Addiction in Teens on the Autism Spectrum

"I have a partner and many family members with an autism spectrum disorder, but the worst affected is our 19 year old son (will turn 20 next month). He has very limited social skills, isolates in his bedroom for hours on end, his eating pattern is poor, and so is his sleeping pattern. But he is addicted to a game on his computer. How do we as parents encourage him to spend less time on the computer, be a bit more social with the family, eat better, and sleep more?"

Playing electronic games provides repetition, consistency, and security in your son's life. Also, electronic games are predictable. He can count on the same actions and results every time he plays the games. 

Children and teens with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger's want to feel safe and secure in their activities. The electronic games allow your son to follow predetermined rules that result in predictable outcomes.

It sounds like your son is concentrating on electronic games at the expense of his health. He spends time in front of a video screen that could be better spent learning new social skills, and practicing better eating habits and sleeping patterns.

Check into support groups for your son. There might be one in your local area. Support groups give advice on daily living skills and healthy lifestyles. Encourage your son to join one of these groups. He will meet young adults who are his age and may be experiencing similar difficulties with the autism spectrum disorders. In addition to information, a support group can give your son the opportunity to talk about his feelings about the disorder - and the help necessary for him to cope with adult responsibilities.
 

Another resource for your son is a therapist who can inform and teach your son social skills. A therapist or a psychiatrist might suggest Melatonin, which will help your son sleep better at night.

Your son is in his late teens, and he is fast approaching adulthood. You can use reasoning and negotiation instead of rules and orders. However, if the excessive computer use continues, you might need to move it into a room that restricts his access to it. Also, the computer can be used as a reward if your son tries new foods and establishes a regular pattern of sleep. Although your son is getting older, there are rules that are still effective in changing his behavior. You should establish those rules in your household.

As one mother of an Asperger's teen describes: "My 14-year old son is addicted to his iPad, and a forum for Dungeons and Dragons. He's doing great stuff, writing stories and everything, but we also have started limiting his time on there. It's really hard to do! We're trying the written, posted schedule thing currently. My teacher husband will be home in the evenings to help me enforce it. Sometimes I just get so tired of being the mean one, and my son has more persistence than both of us combined. But we're going to try!" 

In terms of nutrition, many kids on the autism spectrum suffer from food allergies, overgrowth of intestinal yeast, and sensitivity to sugar and dairy products. Consult a doctor to see if your son needs to adjust his diet. 

 Changing your son’s diet to wheat-free, dairy-free, and sugar-free products requires patience, because teens on the spectrum can be very strong-willed - and implementing change can be difficult for the both of you. See if other family members will adopt a diet similar to your son’s. This will make him feel integrated into the family. Also, read diet books, look into websites, and read advice from nutritionists.

Your son’s sleep patterns can be changed with consistent hours. He needs to establish a time that he will go to bed each evening and get up each morning. If he complains that he can't get to sleep or wake up at a given time, tell him that there are parts of our bodies called circadian rhythms, and they help our bodies rest. 

 If your son can get to bed at a specific time several nights in a row, the circadian rhythms in his body will reset and help him go to sleep and wake up at a given time each evening and morning. Remove all distractions from his bedroom to help him concentrate on rest and sleep.


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
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Ways To Calm Children With High-Functioning Autism & Asperger's

Here are our tops 10 products that may help your "special needs" child to avoid tantrums, meltdowns and shutdowns:























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Kids on the Autism Spectrum: Crisis Intervention Tips for Parents and Teachers

Crisis events and explosive behaviors from kids with ASD Level 1, or High-Functioning Autism, are among the most challenging and stressful issues faced by parents and teachers. Explosive behaviors such as property destruction, physical aggression, self-injury, meltdowns and tantrums are major barriers to effective social and educational development.

Such behaviors put these kids at risk for exclusion and isolation from social, educational, family, and community activities. In addition, explosive behaviors place a heavy burden on families, particularly as these kids grow from preschool into school age. The definition of explosive behaviors depends on whether the behaviors are considered from the perspective of an autistic youngster - or from the perspective of a parent or teacher.

From a kid’s perspective, explosive behaviors include (a) confusion about the effects and consequences of many of his behaviors, (b) engagement in restrictive and repetitive behaviors and interests that may limit the youngster’s ability to learn and to fit in with peers, (c) severe difficulty in initiating and maintaining social interactions and relationships, and (d) the inability to understand the demands of a parent or teacher and to communicate his needs and wants.
 
==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with High-Functioning Autism

From a parent’s or teacher’s perspective, explosive behaviors include aggression against self or others, destruction of property, lack of compliance with - or disruption of - classroom routines, meltdowns and tantrums. Thus, parents and teachers need to first understand that, for the child on the autism spectrum, “coping” behaviors are often disguised as “bad” behaviors.


Here is a list of what parents and teachers should do during crisis:

1. Allow the youngster, whenever possible, to make choices as you move through the crisis intervention steps; however, do not offer choices if they would compromise what you are trying to achieve.

2. Anger, fear, and anxiety can also have an impact on behavior. Moms and dads who are going through a divorce, a health crisis, a job change, or a move might think they’re handling everything and there’s no reason for their youngster to be concerned. But if you’re stressed about something, chances are your youngster will be, too – particularly if he’s powerless to do anything about it, or even communicate his concerns.

3. Being hungry, tired, or thirsty can make your youngster cranky. Poor sleep or coming down with a cold could easily explain unusual behavior. A chronic illness or low-grade infection could make her irritable. If your youngster has a pattern of crankiness at a certain time of day, try offering a piece of fruit at that hour to see if it makes a difference.

4. During a crisis, many of your youngster’s behaviors may not make obvious sense (i.e., they don’t seem to serve any clear purpose). But, for example, your youngster doesn’t spit all over the walls and windows “on purpose” to make you angry. Assume for a minute that “crazy” behaviors like this do make some sense, and that your youngster is sending you coded messages about things that are important to him, and your job is to break the code so you can “read” the messages.

5. During crisis, always use a calm voice and demeanor, but convey firmness.

6. Give your youngster headphones so he can shut out the confusing sounds around him.

7. Help the youngster to see you as a problem solver. Let him know that you are aware of how difficult the situation is for him. Tell him your job is to help with this difficulty. Explain clearly that your help does not mean avoiding the situation or doing it for him, but rather helping him to do it (e.g., "You have a problem, and I am here to help you solve it").

8. Instead of looking at the behavior as “bad,” look for how the context or environment is out of step with your youngster, and explore what you can do about it.

9. Keep your goal in mind as you go through the crisis intervention steps, creating new rules for responding in the future.

10. Look aggressively for all possible sources of pain (e.g., teeth, reflux, gut, broken bones, cuts and splinters, infections, abscesses, sprains, bruises, etc.). Any behaviors that seem to be localized might indicate pain. If he always likes to sit curled up in a ball, for instance, or drapes his belly over the arm of the couch, that might be because his stomach is hurting.

11. Make it clear to the youngster that you are in control; don't plead or make second requests.

12. Practice/rehearse what has been decided as the appropriate solution to the problem. This may involve completing an activity, accepting a change, or restoring the environment after a meltdown.
 
==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with High-Functioning Autism

13. Rather than telling your child what you don’t want him to do, direct him to what he should be doing instead. For example, instead of saying “stop pulling your brother’s hair,” say “put your hand down.”

14. Safety is a major priority during a crisis. Take the youngster out of the situation as soon as possible.

15. Say what you mean and mean what you say at all times during the crisis. Be very concrete and specific as you talk to your child.

16. Some behaviors, especially those that seem particularly odd, unmotivated, abrupt, or out of nowhere, may be due to seizures. If you are concerned about this, keep a very careful record of what you observe, see if your youngster’s teachers have similar observations, and discuss it with your pediatrician.

17. Some things in your youngster’s surroundings are changeable and some are not. Sometimes the problem is a well-meant gesture that’s actually counter-productive (e.g., a teacher popping a mint in your child’s mouth to keep him quiet, unintentionally rewarding him for being loud in class). Sometimes just figuring out what the problem is can help you do something about it. Your refrigerator will always make humming noises, but if you realize that sound is distracting your hearing-sensitive youngster, you can help him set up a quiet spot to do homework. Sometimes you will find a mismatch between what’s expected of your youngster and what he can actually do.

18. Record the outbursts the way an anthropologist might record the actions of a newly discovered native people. Suspend your judgments (what you think you know). Many behaviors are set-off or triggered by an event. Maybe it only happens when you turn on the fluorescent light in the kitchen. Perhaps he’s more likely to have meltdowns on chicken-and-noodles day in the school cafeteria, or after you’ve just turned on the lights because it’s getting dark outside. What time do these events most often happen? Does the same thing often happen first? Just as you might suddenly feel hungry as you walk past McDonald’s, there are “setting events” in your youngster’s life (i.e., things that “set off” difficult behaviors). You can use a diary or log to try to identify these setting events for some of your youngster’s most difficult behaviors.

19. Stay on topic during the crisis. The youngster may bring up extraneous or unrelated issues to try to justify his behavior. Ignore or interrupt irrelevant comments. Respond with: "That doesn't make sense, I can't pay attention to that," or "That is off the topic, so I will have to ignore what you are saying," or "I can't help you with your problem while you are talking about something unrelated to the current issue."

20. Try to identify any food allergies or sensitivities that might be bothering your youngster. Diarrhea within a few hours of eating a particular food could certainly indicate an allergy – so can red, flushed cheeks or ears. Many parents report that their youngster’s flapping or repetitive behaviors go away when they cut out certain foods. An elimination diet can show you for certain whether specific foods trigger pain or unusual behaviors.
 
 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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Picky Eating in Children on the Autism Spectrum: Tips for Parents

"Our 8-year-old boy (newly diagnosed with ASD 1) refuses to eat anything ...and I mean 'anything' ...other than chicken tenders, mac n' cheese, and watermelon. On rare occasion, he might nibble on an apple (emphasis on 'nibble'). We are at our wits end and so tired of arguing that we have simply given in to his limited food preferences just to avoid conflict. It's much easier that way. Any advice on this frustrating issue would be greatly appreciated!!!"

Because of their sensitivity to smell, temperature, taste and texture, kids with ASD level 1, or High-Functioning Autism (HFA), are often "picky" eaters. Some develop fetishes, such as only eating beige-colored foods or foods with creamy textures. They often like very sour or very spicy tastes. Some develop chewing fetishes and as a result, they constantly suck on pens, pencils or times of clothing.

These young people also sometimes have issues with developing gastric problems, such as acid reflux, hiccups, diarrhea, vomiting, or constipation. They are susceptible to celiac disease, which is caused by poor absorption of certain nutrients. The danger is that celiac disease damages the digestive system.

Kids on the autism spectrum frequently suffer from Dermatitis herpetiformis, which causes skin rashes and tissue damage in the intestine. It has also been shown that gluten can aggravate behavioral symptoms in those who are sensitive to these foods.
 
It becomes a challenge for moms & dads to make sure their youngster gets proper nutrition. One trick that works for some parents is to change the texture of a despised food. For example, if your youngster will not eat peas, try serving pea soup. If she refuses orange juice, try orange slices. Most clinicians believe that the less you indulge food fetishes, the less entrenched they become. If the child creates a rule that "no foods can touch on my plate," it can easily become a lifelong rule if moms & dads do not intervene.

One promising food therapy is the "Gluten-Free Casein-Free Diet" or GFCF diet. The theory behind it is that a youngster with HFA can't digest casein (found in dairy) or gluten (found in grains). It is true that undigested molecules of these substances frequently show up in their urine samples. These amino acid chains (called peptides) affect neurological function and can worsen a youngster's symptoms. Peptides may have an opiate effect on some kids.

Moms & dads begin the diet by first eliminating either the casein or the gluten food group. No gluten means no bread, barley, rye, oats, pasta, all kinds of flour, food starch, biscuits, cereals, cakes, donuts, pie, pretzels, pizza, croutons, and even crumbs stuck in the toaster. You can substitute gluten-free products.

Next, you eliminate all dairy products including milk, cheese, goat's milk and cheese, ice cream, yogurt, most margarines, puddings, and so forth. If you eliminate the dairy group, you may have to give your youngster calcium supplements. You also need to cut out "trigger foods" including chocolate, food colorings, caffeine, and peanut butter. The GFCF Diet website offers all kinds of resources for moms & dads such as cookbooks, food products, and DVDs.

Many parents discover that the GFCF diet really helps their youngster. In an unscientific survey of over 2000 moms & dads who tried it, most saw significant improvement and 5 reported "miracles."

Research into diet and vitamin therapy for kids on the spectrum is very sketchy at this point. Nevertheless, many moms & dads try them. One scientific study of alternative therapies found that over half of all parents of kids with autism spectrum disorders have tried diets, herbs or vitamin therapy - and 72% felt they were worthwhile. Many parents swear by the GFCF diet, while others prefer the Feingold diet or megavitamin therapy.

You can buy supplements of herbs and vitamins specifically made for children with HFA. Such supplements often include calcium, fish oil, omega -3 -6 or -9, vitamin B-6, HNI enzymes and DMG or dimethylglycine. If you use these diets and therapies, the best thing to do is to keep written records of how often your youngster tantrums or exhibits other behaviors. This way you can tell if the therapy is working.

There have been a few scientific studies of the GFCF diet. In one three-month study of fifteen kids ages two to 15 years old, there was no difference between the kids who followed the diet and those who did not. However, researchers at the Loma Linda Medical Institute in California concluded that the diet was mostly helpful and improved nonverbal cognition, but that more double blind studies are needed.

Many moms & dads have tried the GFCF or Feingold diets and found that they were not worth the effort. These diets make it extremely hard to buy regular grocery foods or to eat in restaurants. If there are other kids, you end up cooking different meals for them. Trying to keep to the diets causes parental burnout and that may not be worth their benefits.


Can a Gluten-Free Diet Really Help?

A gluten-free, casein free diet is recommended for autistic kids - and grown-ups.

Often parents feel rather overwhelmed with such a restrictive diet, and only opt to embrace it as a last resort. The results produced by the diet varies markedly - but the keyword here is RESULT. You can expect some result.

Kids with autistic spectrum disorders usually have gastrointestinal problems as well, such as reflux, constipation, diarrhea, vomiting and hiccups. It is know that the proteins found in wheat, rye, oats, barley and dairy products (gluten and casein) aren't completely broken down in kids with Autistic Spectrum Disorders. These undigested proteins can leak into the bloodstream, potentially interfering with neurological processes by having an opiate-like effect upon their systems.
 
It's suggested that these undigested proteins (peptides) can reach toxic levels, with the youngster seeming to "crave" milk and wheat products. Symptoms of gluten/casein intolerance include red cheeks and ears, dry skin, runny nose, headaches, hyperactivity, tantrums and malformed bowel movements. Does this sound familiar?

So what results can the diet produce? Parents report a variety of outcomes, including improved sleep patterns, improved speech and communication, improved focus or attention span, improved social skills, improved personal hygiene habits, improved fine motor skills, improved intestinal function, increase in affection shown, and a reduction of tantrums and irritability.

So, a gluten-free, casein-free diet is definitely worth considering for your HFA son. You don't have to feel overwhelmed by the restrictive nature of the diet. I suggest simply starting slowly and eliminating one group (either gluten or casein) at a time. Once you're comfortable without wheat or dairy products, then you can tackle the next element. If you see a desirable result from eliminating one component, you may decide not to go any further.

One mother of an autistic son who is a picky eater states:

"For our family simply substituting gluten-free flour in all recipes I used was a simple but highly effective action. I'm a home-baker, so in any cakes, biscuits, slices and desserts I just substituted gluten-free flour in my usual recipes. I didn't add any extras like Xantham gum, and didn't have any failures.

Finding an alternative to bread was our biggest obstacle. The gluten-free varieties just weren't the same, so instead we excluded bread altogether. The gluten-free pastas on the market are excellent, but do tend to cook slightly quicker.

I suggest you email all the major distributors of snack foods, such as muesli bars and fruit slices and ask for a list of their gluten-free products. This helps with easy identification at the store.

Eating out is difficult at first, but if you mention you're gluten-free most restaurant or cafe chefs will gladly prepare something gluten-free. (Of course, this rules out the fast food chains who aren't so obliging!)

For our family the diet finally eliminated all our son's known trigger foods such as peanut butter, chocolate and caffeine in sodas. We stayed on the diet strictly for 10 months before gradually reintroducing gluten. We have seen no return of the eliminated characteristics in our son . We have continued to use gluten-free pasta and flour in our cooking.

I believe that the gluten-free diet had a detoxifying effect not only on our son, but on all of us, and the benefits have been obvious. So be adventurous and try a gluten-free/casein-free diet for your Aspergers child ....you may be nicely surprised!"

 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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COMMENTS FROM PARENTS:
Anonymous said...
This is so true, my son is 8 and will only eat with his hands and only processed foods n is a VERY fussy eater, he also still has a dummy, well 3 actually plus he has to have 3 rags which he cuddles constantly at home!

Anonymous said...
GOOD INFO. BUT I DEFINATELY THINK THE MORE PARENTS ROLL OVER WHEN A KID SAYS THEY DON'T LIKE SOMETHING, IT BECOMES A SLIPPERY SLOPE. AND AN UPHILL BATTLE WHEN YOU COME TO YOUR SENSES AND REALIZE THE KID IS IN CHARGE.

Anonymous said...
My 19 year old eats a specific Subway sandwich five days a week. At least he gets lettuce on it!

Anonymous said...
my sons were extremely picky before going gluten and dairy free. we did this due to food intolerances but it did work in our case. my boys now eat a better variety of food but still not as much of variety as i would like. we do alot of pureeing fruits and veges here!

Anonymous said...
I used to think the same thing, until I realized my daughter might actually starve herself because I was too hard-headed to comply with her simple requests. "Rolling over" isnt the preferred path but it keeps the kiddos content at least for a little bit. Thats what we're in it for anyways, isnt it?

Anonymous said...
my 7 year old son will only eat cereal for breakfast lunch and dinner and its starting to scare me. he will actually starve his self before he will eat anything else. he has always been tiny but his eating habits arnt helping. i have tried everything i can to get him to eat other things nothing works...i buy the gummy bear vitamins and he takes them fine thats all i can do

Anonymous said...
My son is still a picky eater, but has come a LONG way. He will eat foods from all food groups. He received ABA therapy and I remember how hard it was to get him to eat one pea (it took almost a week and two trained therapists!) To this day he still hates peas but will eat green beans like crazy! He has become more willing to try new things in the past year and that's a huge accomplishment for him. He announced last summer that he wanted to try grilled corn and brocolli and we were speechless! I hesitate to try the gluten free thing unless it is proven to be medically necessary for his condition, but I'm certainly not putting down anyone who has had success with it.

Anonymous said...
I put adam on school dinners its helped Adam he still as a thing he has to smell the food first diary products he hates have to get milk down in a milk shake

Anonymous said...
our 13 yr old aspergers son has just been diagnosed as coeliac(proven with a biopsy). He has always been sensitive to taste and texture of food usually only having one brand of the few foods he does eat. his fav foods are toast, biscuits and nuggets(all contain gluten) Does anyone have any suggestions in how we get him to at least try other foods or gluten free varieties? I know we have to get him off gluten but he has a meltdown over any new food.

Anonymous said...
My son craves carbs (breads, cereals) and sweets. We had to put him in OT when he was three because he wouldn't eat but maybe three things. He would literally gag and throw up at a pizza commercial or if I served certain foods for dinner. It is def a texture thing, but also anything the color of green he won't eat. It's very frustrating to have to make two different meals all the time (one for the family and one just for our son). OT helped with the food issue and he slowly began to increase the different types of food he would eat.

Anonymous said...
We tried the gluten-free route and did not see much of a difference, other than the outrageous cost to make gluten-free food. It was overwhelming to go grocery shopping and all that cooking only for our son to turn his nose up to the food anyway. We just try to make sure he is eating a healthy balance and encourage him to try new foods.

Anonymous said...
Really good to hear it from his point of view!

Anonymous said...
Great to listen from this perspective!! TY

Anonymous said...
Yep, this story is all too familiar to me. My son is quite a challenge to feed! And when we visit a friend or relative, I always have to advise: The best bet is to keep it plain and simple. Don't add alot of seasonings, don't smother it with any sort of sauce, don't mix foods together, don't cut such and such this way or that, I know what food battles to fight and which are completely futile. Some say if he gets hungry enough he'll eat it....but my son WILL hold out on you and you can watch him get ill doing so. He has always refused rice and all legumes except for CREAMY peanut butter. He won't eat crunchy nuts or salad or uncooked carrots. Forget pie or any other desert that has a mixture of flavors or textures. Yep, he's a plain vanilla man! I know just how to prepare what fruits, vegetables, and meats he will eat. I make sure he eats a nutritionally balanced diet on a daily basis, so at some special occasion where I'm not in charge of the food I just ease up and let him get whatever (at least there is usually some plain bread he will eat) so everybody can have a nice time. As a parent sometimes you just have to adapt and work with it just a tad. For example, my son is famous for not liking Mexican food. But I have discovered that he will eat plain chicken fajita meat ordered a la carte and some plain flour tortillas. So when we go to a Mexican restaurant that is always what he gets....and everybody is happy. The way I view it is that nobody is standing over me forcing me to eat something I can't stand, so, while I do try to encourage my son to branch out a bit, I know when to give him slack.

Anonymous said...
i don't even like my foods touching :) my son had portion rules- as he grew to 6 ft tall, he wasn't eating more to accommodate his growth spurt. it took many months to help him adjust to the proper caloric intake- he was skin and bones in the meantime.

Anonymous said...
my son has always been like this hes 14 now and getting a little better..but can totally relate

Anonymous said...
My son will only eat crunchy foods or foods that are pureed. I learned early on how to make smoothies with veggies. :) And yes I know all about him "holding out". He would rather starve and be sick then eat something with a weird texture. Sometimes at restaurants he just doesn't eat. I'm okay with that but some family members would rather give in and buy him a milkshake which is SO irritating. I turn my back for a second and he's holding an ice cream cone. Please, if you are reading this and you are a family member that under minds the mothers' wishes, PLEASE STOP you are not helping....done ranting now. :)

Anonymous said...
I love reading or hearing from other more verbal teens. My son has a hard time getting what is in his head out of his mouth - but he loves it when i find these little nuggets of asperger wisdom...It makes sense to me that he can only think of the taste of one food a time. I can't wait to ask him if that is what it is like for him, we are very sucessful at comimg up with plans once we know what his brain is saying and what his desires are saying. I might get a hug for this one! I am so thankful that everyone shares their experiences, so that other families can benefit.

Anonymous said...
My son would go rather starve too than eat foods that are mushy.

Anonymous said...
My daughter is 5 and she would rather starve than eat just about anything. She won't even drink milk-shakes or smothies. Basically she survives on pediasure!
Anonymous said...
Yes that's basically all they eat....we quit fighting it...he is ten and only eats burritos,Mac cheese and nuggets and pizza and hot dogs sometimes if they look right.he was eating Lil pepperoni pizzas and picked Pepperoni's off so we bought same ones n cheese but he won't eat them because they look nasty...we can't give him chips with his food or he won't eat the burritos or main food...nothings changed just food...if we buy somethn n a different pkg he may never eat it again.his aunt gave him Mac and cheese n a blue box and he would never eat it again lol its very frustrating and challenging.we just gave up and give him vitamins...and if u try to make a good meal like say he likes green beans,,chic nuggets,Mac cheese and biscuits and I'm so happy cuz he loves those he can only eat one of them...so Dont knock yourself out trying I've done it for years just be happy he eats the one thing....good luck

Anonymous said...
Vitamins, and a good fish oil supplement.

Anonymous said...
My son is 8 and we dont treat him any different, but then again we never did. Both our boys eat what we eat. If they dont like it then they can go hungry. Yes he complains most of the time but he eats his diner. We keep our 8 year old on a very tight leash, he knows where the boundaries are what is not exceptionable behavior. Because he is so smart many times if we show him videos and let him research why its so important to say eat healthy he gets right on board and sometimes takes it to an extreme. My don LOVES burritos and would eat them all day every day. As a parent you cant coddle them just because they have a diagnoses. When he has a melt down I know its because its because of his "issues" but he MUST learn how to cope with this and learn to not let it cripple him. Its so hard as a parent and it breaks my heart to see him struggle but I also see how he is learning to cope and grow.

Anonymous said...
My very picky eater is now almost 10. For the last few years, I have had the few healthy foods that he eats on hand all the time. Finally, we went to a doctor who said that he has to cut out white carbs and sugar. He is old enough now to understand that healthy foods make an impact on his health and on how long he will live. Sometimes waiting it out really works well.

Anonymous said...
That's all they eat, plain cheese pizza, nuggets, chips, chicken strips, no fruit or veg, it's hard but the more you push and argue the more they back into a corner. It's the only control a child has is food intake. Coke and cordial too. I feel for you xx. He will come right later on but it's going to be a very long time. Also if it doesn't look right they won't even try it or not cooked by the right person. It's really tough but just no control at all. The hardest years are between 12 - 17

Anonymous said...
I am grateful that I introduced my son to healthy food very early in his life, I always felt that something was wrong with him because of his meltdowns and obsessions when I spoke to the pediatrician she suggested that he had asperger, and she was right, right now I am learning to cope with the tantrums and the never ending questions but I am glad that may son eats healthy with lots of vegetables even though he craves for oily food and from time to time i would let him eat pizza or chicken nuggets

Anonymous said...
My son is now 12 and started out eating like all others their fruits and veggies early in life...however very quickly started showing his dislike for food if it were to chunky or over or under cooked, or not the right temperature...or brand...he only eats about 5 things no matter how I try..Janes chicken nuggets, spaghetti with red sauce no meat, pancakes with raspberries, delissio thin crust cheese pizza, and if I'm lucky yogurt....vanilla....at one point I even had to heat his yogurt to get him to eat it. I resort to vitamins ! This is a sensory issue and if anyone tells you it's behavioural they are 100% wrong!

Anonymous said...
i think intruducing healthy food very early makes a big difference but there many things that can be done. I recommend mixing the good with the bad steam veg and rice with chicken nuggets you have to try it wont be easy but not impossible. I do not recommend forcing the child it doent work with my son so i wont work with your child either

Anonymous said...
Yep! My 9 yr old basically eats carbs and that's it. We rely on Carnation breakfast milk and vitamins for nutrition at the moment.

Anonymous said...
My 13 yr daughter only eats a handful of 'healthy" foods so i just rotate these meals around. You would think it would be boring but she likes the predictability. It wasnt worth the stress of the tantrums of force feeding when she was younger...... my mum.says i am too soft but at least meal times are quality family time over trauma time. Her blood tests for iron, vit D etc always come back good which surprises me. I had to think smart, be crrative at times and accept reality to stay sane.....
The hardest thing is dealing with judgement from others..... but i know I am doing the best I am and she certainly isnt malnourished or starving...Good to hear from others with the same issues and that I am not alone. ... and that its NOT my fault.....
X

Anonymous said...
Occupational therapy can help tremendously with decreasing oral sensitivities (when they won't eat certain foods because of how they feel) and expanding picky diets beyond chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, etc. It is costly if insurance doesn't cover it though. I agree that it is sensory (not behavioral) and the focus should be on desensitizing the child to texture, smell, and even sight of foods in order for them to attempt to expand their food choices.

Anonymous said...
Maybe try social stories about children trying a new food and liking it?

Anonymous said...
Don't under estimate milk and bread. I know it's not perfect but you are doing your best.....I know you are!!!! Xx

Anonymous said...
Mine is sixteen and it's chicken, cheeseburgers or pizza

Anonymous said...
As a wee one mine ate everything now my son is 14 and I'm totally jealous that your kids eat pizza and burgers. Mine wants to try pizza but it takes a long time to work up to it and if you open the box and he sees it. That's game over. I feel badly for our kids with the stresses they go through and the things they are missing out on.

Anonymous said...
Yes my 6 year old would never try pizza, or any 'meal'...just bread, milkshakes and some fruit.

Anonymous said...
My 9-year-old is super picky also. His diet was limited but he would eat a couple vegetables and fruits. About a year ago though he felt bad all the time and after a million tests, we found out he had very low iron and needed iron drops. These drops tasted so awful that he swore up and down he would eat better if he could stop taking them and he made an actual real effort to try new things. Now he will eat more of a variety and even though he doesn't love these foods I just remind him that it's that or the drops and it motivates him. His iron levels have been good every since. It's still a chore. Everything has to be so plain. No foods mixed together. No spice.

Anonymous said...
My 9 year olds diet is very limited. Dry bread, milk, beef burgers and cheese pizza. I got myself into a state thinking I needed him to try other foods and so many people saying ' he should eat what he is given or go hungry' and making me feel bad about his diet. When I saw his dr he had lost weight, the dr told me not too worry and feed him what he likes so he is getting the calories needed. I am so glad I listened, he is a much calmer child at mealtimes without being challenged, he put back on the weight he had lost. He has also started to ask to try new foods , he recently ate an apple ( I wanted to cry!!!) he also asked for me to blend 1/2 a banana in his milk, it wasn't a hit but he still tried something! My advice to anyone having a hard time or worrying is too ignore all the people giving their 'perfect parent' advice and just let your child eat what they like and come to you when they are ready for change x x x

Anonymous said...
My son has always been very picky too, and it got down to him only eating rice crackers. He lost a great deal of weight and as it turns out he has ulcerative colitis, diagnosed at 8 years. Once i sorted his flares and he takes probiotics and magnesium, his appetite is now much better. He's almost 14. I juice a combo of fruit and veg every morning now, and if it's got pineapple in it, and beetroot or purple carrot in it to make it pink, he enjoys drinking it.

Anonymous said...
I have heard a gluten free diet helps with Asperger's. Have u tried that?

Anonymous said...
I know from experience that this is frustrating! I have heard and tried it all from having them help shop, help cook, grow it! And so far nothing works... but, your son is eating and although it is repetitious, it is relatively well rounded. Protein, grain, dairy, fruit. One thing that has helped is sneaking veggie puree into the mac and cheese (cauliflower, carrots, etc...) but that had to be done with care as not to alter the flavor too much! I also slowly added whole grain pasta so that it .
Anonymous said...
 Because my 7 year old son is such a picky eater, and was underweight, his doctor recommended V8 Fusion. This way he can still be picky, but at the same time get his daily recommended amount of fruit and vegetables. I give him 8 oz in the morning with breakfast and 8 oz in the evening with dinner. We have also had the my food can't touch issue in our house. It was to the point where there was typically multiple small plates (one for each food) on the table. On Monday my son said "Mom, I think it's time I have all of my food on one plate." I was floored! After the initial shock, we were doing a victory dance in celebration. Wohoo!
 
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What You Need To Know About Individualized Education Programs


"Our daughter is experiencing severe meltdowns due to the new school year. We recently were forced to make a trip to the Children's Hospital. Every person we've seen asks if she has an IEP. She does not, just a 504. The school district says she does not qualify for an IEP, which I question since all the mental health professionals think she should have one. Why does she need an IEP, and what should be included that will help this child?"

Not all children who have disabilities require specialized instruction. For children with disabilities who do require specialized instruction, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) controls the procedural requirements, and an IEP is developed. The IDEA process is more involved than that of Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act and requires documentation of measurable growth.

For children with disabilities who do not require specialized instruction but need the assurance that they will receive equal access to public education and services, a document is created to outline their specific accessibility requirements. Children with 504 Plans do not require specialized instruction, but like the IEP, a 504 Plan should be updated annually to ensure that the child is receiving the most effective accommodations for her specific circumstances. 

There is perhaps no process as frustrating for parents and teachers alike as the IEP process. As a team process, it is designed to help parents and teachers develop a program that is in the best interest of the child. All too often, the schools experience a lack of resources, which leaves the parents feeling that they are not receiving the support that they need. 

The IEP process is critical to the educational success of the child, and with success can leave parents feeling empowered to make a difference in the life of their child. Parents and teachers need to develop an IEP process that enables both parties to feel as though their concerns are heard, and the child's needs are being met.

Here are some important resources that will assist both parents and teachers in coming up with the most effective IEP possible:


COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said... We have gone through a similar situation. It took 2 full years to get an Aspergers diagnosis, and the school STILL didn't want to acknowledge anything because of his grades. Early elementary was bumpy from behavior issues, but once we learned his triggers it all subsided. He had to take an IQ test, which the special Ed teacher and the state tester felt was not accurate since he deliberately started answering questions with nonsense once he was tired of it. We never did qualify for an IEP, but were able to get a 504. We really don't have much in the plan, since luckily we have been " bump" free for awhile. I just let his teachers know his triggers, and he is allowed to remove himself from the classroom of he begins to feel overwhelmed. ( this does have to be monitored, however, as he can be quite manipulative) we have been so fortunate that as he has gotten older and school has gotten harder he is actually doing much better. I was concerned with middle school being just too much with all the changes, but we have been incident free for 2 years. Turns out that class is over before he is "done". Keep pushing for what you feel is best, you know your aspire better than anyone and are the very best advocate they have!!! Best of luck!
•    Anonymous said... The Occupational Therapy part of the IEP will be very important, at least for my Aspie, in the eval part of this. This will help with any accommodations that are needed in the classroom such as a desk corral, placement of desk, etc. An IQ test should also be included but it is hard with an Aspie to be accurate. I am sure you know that YOU know best of what your child needs! Stick to your guns!
•    Anonymous said... Tell them your child has AUTISM because they understand that. Not everyone understands Aspergers. It is on the spectrum so you are telling the truth. Make the school district test her again. They cannot refuse you an IEP meeting.
•    Anonymous said... One of the hardest things we needed to decipher growing up was the difference between meltdowns that were due to Aspie things and meltdowns that were mere behavior problems. Once we realized that not all of his tantrums were from the disability, it cut way down on the total meltdowns and we were able to deal with the real issues from Aspergers. It also helped us realize his queues before the meltdown happened so that we could redirect before he became overloaded or overestimulated.
•    Anonymous said... My son has a 504 plan. His school feels he doesn't need a IEF because he "behaves well." I recently requested a meeting with his teacher and school guidance counselor to review his 5. I addresses my concerns to both regarding his attention/anxiety regarding his reading. I was basically told, in a nice way I'm jumping the gun.
•    Anonymous said... If she has Aspergers/Autism she should have an IEP. You can have a behavioral developmental pediatrician diagnose her and bring the paper work to your school.
•    Anonymous said... I have students who have 504s. The good thing is, teachers can still make any accomodations for these students that they deem necessary to improve the student's learning. My Asperger's/ADHD son has neither right now, because he gets good grades. Therefore, his school has determined he doesn't qualifiy for any special services.
•    Anonymous said... I am going through a similar situation with my son and his school right now. I live in NC. My son is 15 and in the 10th grade. He was diagnosed this past July with ASD, Asperger's Syndrome (he also has Graves Disease, medical PTSD, Depression, and anxiety disorder). He refuses to go to school. So far, this school year, he has only attended the first three days of school, and then his anxiety and panic got the better of him. I had to put in writing to the school, to request an evaluation for an IEP. Now, by law, they have 60 (or 90, I forgot) days to have him tested. I had tried to have him tested this past June, but I was talked out of it by the lady in charge of special education. She said that my son is "too smart" (honors classes) and does not misbehave in school, so she felt that we should wait til the new school year and if anything, sign up for a 504 plan. Her real reasoning was because it was the beginning of the summer, and she said that it would be harder for her to find someone to do the testing. Now, he is falling behind in school because of his social fears and anxiety, and they are just getting worse every day. If she would have just listened to me in the beginning, then his school year would not have started off like this. We are coming up on the one year anniversary of his father's death this month, which is making his situation even worse.
•    Anonymous said... A lot of this comes down to money, at least in the UK. To get an IEP the child needs to be statemented, but this is done by council employees that know as soon as it is done and an IEP setup, they council will have to provide some extra funding. We struggled to get our boy through, having to fight every turn and the problems tearing the family apart. We found a family support worker as part of social services (different money pot to education) who worked with us for over a year to get our boy statemented and an IEP, as well as moving him to a school that understood his needs and teaching us to understand his needs. He was way behind in his education the past school not bothering with him, but I'm so proud of him now, he's caught up everything this past year and moved to the top class where I know he'll continue to excel, what a change and family life has turned around to being fun and relaxed again.
It really makes me mad though families have to fight as hard as they do to get the help provided, the fight is hard enough to handle a child with these issues let alone fighting the authorities that were put there to help.

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Does My Student Have High-Functioning Autism?

“I’m a teacher and I think one of my students may have high functioning autism. What things should I look for in determining whether or not this child may have the disorder? Also, is it too early to approach the parents about my concern?”

If you have a basic knowledge of the symptoms associated with high-functioning autism (HFA), and based on that knowledge, you suspect the disorder in one of your students, advise the parents of your concern now. It’s better to know than not to know, and the sooner treatment can begin - the better!

If the student in question is having a greater degree of language difficulties than other peers his/her age or has diminished communication skills, and also exhibits a restrictive pattern of thought and behavior, he/she may have HFA. 
 
One peculiar symptom of the disorder is the youngster’s obsessive interest in a single object or topic to the exclusion of any other. The youngster living with HFA wants to know all about this one topic.

Here are a few more traits to look for:
  • Although kids on the autism spectrum can manage themselves with their disorder, the personal relationships and social situations are challenging for them. 
  • These young people have some traits of Autism, especially weak social skills and a preference for sameness and routine. 
  • Kids with HFA typically develop a good to excellent vocabulary, although they usually lack the social instincts and practical skills needed when relating to others. 
  • They may not recognize verbal and non-verbal cues or understand social norms (e.g., taking turns talking or grasping the concept of personal space). 
  • They typically make efforts to establish friendships, but may have difficulty making friends because of their social awkwardness. 
  • Developmental delays in motor skills (e.g., catching a ball, climbing outdoor play equipment, pedaling a bike, etc.) may also appear in the youngster.

 ==> A comprehensive list of traits associated with HFA can be found here.

The main difference between Autism and HFA is that the youngster suffering from HFA retains his early language skills. It is classified as an Autism Spectrum Disorder, one of a distinct group of neurological conditions characterized by a greater or lesser degree of impairment in language and communication skills, as well as repetitive or restrictive patterns of thought and behavior. 
 
Unlike young people with Autism, HFA kids retain their early language skills. In Autistic kids, language is often absent, lost, limited, or very slow to develop. In HFA, however, language development often falls within normal limits.

Advise your student’s parents that many moms and dads find comfort and build acceptance with help from support groups, counseling, and a network of friends, family, and community. A diagnosis is best made with input from caregivers, doctors, and educators who know or who have observed the youngster. 
 
A diagnosis is based on a careful history of the youngster’s development, psychological and psychiatric assessments, communication tests, and the parents’ and clinicians’ shared observations. When making a diagnosis, the health professional will see if the boy or girl meets the criteria published in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a publication of the American Psychiatric Association.

You can best serve this student by learning about HFA and providing a supportive classroom environment (see link below). Remember, the student, just like every other youngster, has his or her own strengths and weaknesses and needs as much support, patience, and understanding as you can give. Visual supports, including schedules and other written materials that serve as organizational aids, can be very helpful for students on the autism spectrum.
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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 COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said... I sure one of my son's teachers had mentioned it to me. He didn't get diagnosed until he was 11, and so missed out on early treatment and intervention. After he was diagnosed I had teachers, coaches and other parents say "I thought that might be it"...why oh why didn't they say anything? I had never even heard of it before.
•    Anonymous said... My daughter was recently diagnosed at 4. Her preschool teachers brought it to my attention. We dismissed it because we didn't see Autism. Then...when we read and did some research, it hit us like a ton of bricks that almost everything mentioned was her to a tee. Do it gently and explain to the parents that this is not a bad thing, and she/he will lead a normal life. Aspies just approach things differently. They see life differently.
•    Anonymous said... Teachers should approach this discussion with a positive attitude and lightly. As someone who was thrown this "he has autism" in kindergarten, I was angry and unconvinced. I didn't know really anything about Aspergers/high functioning autism, and I dismissed the discussion until second grade when a much more polite discussion was brought to me about my son's habits and issues. As a parent, I didn't know that a talking, caring, sensitive and smart child could be aspergers/autistic. The best thing I did to convince myself was to go over to school and observe my son at recess. I then did alot of research and started checking off symptoms...this combined is what convinced me.

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Crucial Strategies for Parents of Challenging Kids on the Autism Spectrum

    Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum :   ==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children ...