Search This Blog

Autistic Kids Who Hate To Be Hugged

“I have two sons. The older son (age 9) is very loving and always has been. Lots of hugs and snuggles. Very verbal and social. Well here comes son #2 (age 4) who has high functioning autism. Not a word. He doesn't like hugs or kisses. Anytime I ask for one, he runs away. Anytime I give him a hug, he struggles to get loose. His main method of communication is an irritating SCREAM. He does have his moments of being affectionate, but they are few and far between (usually when he is not feeling well). Of course I love both of my kids, but it saddens me that son #2 just doesn't seem to reciprocate most of the time. Anyone else have a fiercely independent child that you just have to learn to love.... differently?”

First of all, you’re not alone. This is a common issue. Most youngsters with asD level 1 or High-Functioning Autism have a lot of difficulty learning to engage in the give-and-take of everyday human interaction. Even in the first few months of life, many do not interact or make eye contact. They seem indifferent to others, and often prefer being alone. They may even resist parental attention, hugs and cuddling – and seldom seek comfort or respond to a parent’s displays of affection.



Even though a youngster with ASD is attached to his mom and dad, his expression of this attachment is unusual and difficult to “read.” To caretakers, it may seem as if their youngster is not attached at all. A mother or father who has looked forward to the joys of cuddling and playing with their youngster may feel disappointed by this lack of the expected and typical attachment behavior.

Youngsters with autism also are slower in learning to interpret what others are thinking and feeling. Subtle social cues (e.g., a smile, wink, or grimace) may have little meaning. For example, to the youngster who misses these cues, “come here” always means the same thing, whether the parent is smiling and extending her arms for a hug, or frowning and planting her fists on her hips.

Without the ability to interpret gestures and facial expressions, the social world is confusing. To make a bad problem worse, the autistic child has difficulty seeing things from another person's perspective. “Typical” kids understand that other people have different thoughts, feelings, and goals than they have. However, the autistic child lacks such understanding. This inability leaves him unable to predict or understand other people’s actions.

Although not universal, it is common for children on the autism spectrum to have difficulty regulating their feelings. This can take the form of “immature” behavior (e.g., verbal outbursts that seem inappropriate to those around them). These kids may also be disorderly and physically aggressive at times, making social relationships even more problematic. 
 
They have a tendency to “lose control,” particularly when they're in a strange or overwhelming environment, or when angry and frustrated. They may at times break things, attack others, or hurt themselves (e.g., bang their heads, pull their hair, bite their arms, etc.).

Consistency and repetition are crucial to kids on the autism spectrum, and this applies to the “lack of displayed affection” issue as well. Trying to figure out a puzzling disorder like autism can be a lifelong challenge. For many moms and dads, the affection issue may be the biggest obstacle to overcome. But, with patience and learning to go by your youngster’s cues and not your own, you will be able to connect with your son in a deep and meaningful way.




 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
----------
 
By

Disciplinary & Intervention Guidelines for Parents of High-Functioning Autistic Kids

“My 8 y.o. son has autism (high-functioning) and is constantly disrespectful, talks back, is stubborn. He thinks that we (parents) are 'being mean' to him. We have tried reward charts, try to be encouraging and positive, have taken away computer and TV, removing the thing he is playing with, setting him in a corner, doing extra chores, and NOTHING works. We are just so discouraged because nothing seems to be getting through. We have read dozens of books and seemingly tried everything. Please help. I am going insane!”

Traditional disciplinary techniques often fail to produce the desired results for kids with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s (AS), mainly because these “special needs” children are unable to appreciate the consequences of their actions. Consequently, punitive measures are apt to exacerbate the type of behavior the punishment is intended to reduce.

Disciplining young people displaying autism-related behaviors will require an approach that is somewhat unique to that of “typical” children. Finding the balance between understanding the needs of the HFA or AS youngster, and the disciplinary strategy that is age-appropriate and situationally-necessary will be achievable when applying some of the strategies listed below. These strategies can be implemented at home, school, and in other public settings.

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's


Crucial disciplinary guidelines for parents [and teachers]:

1. A short list of rules – along with a visual depiction of each rule – should become your youngster's property, and depending upon the situation, should be kept in his pocket for ready reference.

2. Active ignoring is a good consequence for misbehavior meant to get your attention. This means not rewarding “bad behavior” with your attention – even if it's negative attention (e.g., scolding or yelling).



3. After disciplining your youngster for doing something wrong, always offer a “substitute behavior” (e.g., if she is hitting you to get your attention, work on replacing that with getting your attention by tapping your shoulder).

4. Before you transition from one activity to another, or approach a situation where behavior may deteriorate, discuss with your youngster what will happen, review the family rules, and remind him of the consequences (both good and bad) of any misbehavior. This information may need to be broken down into a few simple instructions and repeated often.

5. Change (not “lower”) your standards. With an HFA or AS youngster, parents need to learn to live in the present moment. The milestones of your youngster’s life are less defined, and the future less predictable (though your youngster may surprise you). In the meantime, set the standards for your youngster at an appropriate level.

6. Children with HFA and AS tend to enjoy being isolated, because it is less stressful for them and they do not have to socialize with others. Therefore, time-outs can actually be a positive experience unless modified slightly. Removing kids from something fun is a better alternative. For example, if the youngster loves to play games on his iPad, the iPad can go in a time-out area – for a period of 15 minutes at most, otherwise the child will feel as though he has lost the privilege for an eternity and will act-out accordingly.

7. Create a list of behaviors your youngster CAN’T control due to his disorder. The list may include items such as repetitive behaviors, poor peer relations or lack of social skills, being easily distracted, sensory sensitivities, obsessive/compulsive tendencies, meltdowns, etc. These are the behaviors that your child should NEVER be punished for. Your youngster will require help and guidance to overcome these issues.

8. Don’t assume your youngster will automatically transfer and apply information previously learned in one environment to a new situation that, in your mind, is remarkably similar. For kids on the autism spectrum, a new situation is a new situation.

9. Enlist the help of your child in creating a “consequence plan.” For each negative behavior you have identified as inappropriate, the two of you decide on a consequence. Discipline needs to be clear, concise, consistent and calm. When your youngster misbehaves, tell her in a few words what she did wrong, and tell her the consequence (which she agreed to in the planning stage).

10. For kids on the spectrum, it is important that the consequence or reward immediately follow the behavior in order to have the greatest effect and opportunity to teach.

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's


11. Kids with HFA and AS require more exposure to discipline before they begin to understand expectations. Parents must follow through and apply discipline EVERY time there is an incident in order to effectively send a message. Kids who have trouble learning respond very well to consistent structure and limits. But for this to work, moms and dads must be consistent.

12. Kids on the spectrum thrive on clear rules. Thus, post a list of unacceptable behaviors and their consequences in a prominent location. For younger kids who can’t read yet, the rules can be reviewed periodically, and the list should have visual illustrations to demonstrate the unacceptable behaviors and consequences associated with them.

13. Look for small opportunities to deliberately allow your youngster to make mistakes for which you can set aside “discipline-teaching” time. It will be a learning process for you and your youngster.

14. Never assume that your HFA or AS child will understand appropriate social behavior under a wide variety of specific circumstances, and when that doesn't occur, discipline in the moment.

15. Prioritize problematic behaviors rather than trying to fight multiple battles at one time. List the top 3 behaviors that you feel are most deserving of attention. This is an important step, because (a) many of the smaller problems will take care of themselves once the bigger issues have been resolved, and (b) some behaviors need an intervention or therapy in order to be eliminated rather than simple disciplinary techniques.

16. Reset your anger buttons. Your autistic youngster will inevitably do some things that will frustrate the hell out of you, but getting angry with him will only worsen things. So, when you catch yourself starting to get angry – YOU take a time-out. If you’re still angry after the time-out – don’t show it! Put on a “poker face.”

17. Social stories, developed to help HFA and AS kids understand difficult situations, are particularly helpful for teaching appropriate behaviors.

18. Through role play, you can provide your youngster with alternatives to problematic behaviors (e.g., hitting, yelling, throwing, etc.).

19. View all problematic behaviors as “signals of needs.” Everything an autistic youngster does tells you something about what she needs.

20. While it is true you have to change your expectations of your HFA or AS youngster, you don’t have to lower your standards of discipline. It’s tempting to get lax and let a “special needs” child get by with behaviors you wouldn’t tolerate in your other kids. Your youngster needs to know, early on, what behaviors you expect. Many moms and dads wait too long to start “behavior training.” It’s much harder to redirect a 170 pound teenager than a 45 pound 3rd grader.

21. Your HFA or AS youngster likely has triggers that can cause her to become distressed, which may result in a meltdown. Watch carefully for these triggers and distract her when you sense an outburst coming on. For instance, if she thrives on a schedule and you need to change it for some reason, let her know carefully and watch for signs of a meltdown during the change.




22. If parenting strategies fall short and do not yield the desired outcomes, then seeking outside assistance from a therapist who specializes in autism spectrum disorders is highly recommended. There are various standard courses of treatment, with each treatment modality addressing a different set of issues. Some of the most common treatment options include:
  • Applied Behavioral Analysis is a form of therapy used to teach basic skills in many different areas.
  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy is used to treat the emotional side of HFA and AS (e.g., anxiety, depression, obsessions, etc.). 
  • Occupational therapy is basically used to teach independence. Grasp, handwriting, social skills, and play skills are often included. 
  • Sensory integration therapy may be included by the occupational therapist. This therapy helps get your youngster’s sensory systems in synch.
  • Physical therapy addresses the physical awkwardness that sometimes comes with HFA and AS. 
  • Social skills training is a therapy that teaches kids on the spectrum how to relate to others, making and keeping friends, how to recognize social cues and gestures, and other details such as personal space and understanding slang.
  • Speech/language therapy covers speech articulation as well as pragmatics, or fluency. Language therapy covers social communication, and in some cases, social skills. Speech/language therapy will help your youngster learn to communicate verbally or nonverbally, if necessary, with the use of picture exchange and/or sign language. When a child can use words to express his anger and frustration, problematic behaviors are greatly reduced.

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's


23. In worst case scenarios, behavior problems may need to be addressed (in part) through the use of medication. Some medications that may be prescribed include antidepressants, antipsychotics, and stimulants.

24. There are many alternative approaches to treating symptoms associated with HFA and AS. One such approach is Complementary and Alternative Medicine (CAM), which is defined as “a group of diverse medical and health care systems, practices, and products that are not presently considered to be part of conventional medicine.” CAM therapies used to treat HFA and AS have been categorized as biological and nonbiological:
  • Examples of biological therapies include: (a) immunoregulatory interventions (e.g., dietary restriction of food allergens or administration of immunoglobulin or antiviral agents), (b) gastrointestinal treatments (e.g., digestive enzymes, antifungal agents, probiotics, yeast-free diet, gluten/casein-free diet, vancomycin), (c) dietary supplement regimens that are supposed to act by modulating neurotransmission or through immune factors (e.g., vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin B6 and magnesium, folic acid, folinic acid, vitamin B12, dimethylglycine and trimethylglycine, carnosine, omega-3 fatty acids, inositol, various minerals, etc.), and (d) detoxification therapies (e.g., chelation).
  • Examples of nonbiological interventions include treatments such as auditory integration training, behavioral optometry, craniosacral manipulation, dolphin-assisted therapy, equine-assisted therapy, facilitated communication, and music therapy.

HFA and AS children need limits and structure much more than “typical” kids do. When they can predict what will happen next in their day, they feel confident and safe. Of course, they will test the boundaries. But, it's up to parents to affirm that these standards are important – and to let their youngster know that they believe he or she can meet them.


More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

 ==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

 ==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

 ==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

 ==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book
==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism


COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said… A couple of things to try. We did this with my son, who had an awful time getting up in the morning. It became a battle every day, just to get him out of bed. 1. Video him and show him what his behavior looks like. He won't like it, and prepare yourself for a meltdown over that in itself. 2. Talk about the video once he's calmed down and talk about the 'other' ways he could have handled the situations. For example, better responses instead of backtalk, a reaction that is different that a tantrum. 3. Take those situations and turn them into role-playing - a way to actually practice what should happen, rather than what is happening. 4. Once you've role-played it, video it again and play it back for him. He will see a positive way that he's changed his behavior. The theory behind this is that you are replacing the negative images and reactions that he 'sees' in his head with the positive ones. It may take a few times to replace the action when the time comes, but if he re-views the positive video, it can help him literally see his behavior in a new way.
•    Anonymous said… Give choices focus on positive ignore negative.
•    Anonymous said… I say, I will. Or speak with you as long as you're talking to me like that. (After over explaining why it's not okay.)
•    Anonymous said… My 5 year old  😞 I'm going to try some of these techniques
•    Anonymous said… My 9 year old is the same way. He needs to become a professional negotiator for a big business someday. He is so good at it, no matter how small they requests from me or his dad. Always an argument, refusal, avoidance or negotiation behaviors happening at our house. It drains my energy.
•    Anonymous said… My son is still young and about to turn six so thank God I have not run into this – yet – I'm coming into this with my eyes wide open now based on all of the other parents experience with their teenagers . However I have been reading and reading for at least a year on every possible autism site I can get my hands on. Although I do not know your son and I do not know what you have tried – I would default to diet and get cannabis with THC. Although there are some kids that the parents have trouble finding the right Balance or strain of cannabis with – I have heard many times more successes been failures with diet, supplements and also cannabis with THC
•    Anonymous said… Positive reinforcement, confidence building, talk therapy (not always in the moment if he's angry). Talk and give some one on one time half an hour a day. Do something they like with them for 30 minutes a day, relationship building / trust building. Let them know what they are doing right. Role play / role model / script conversations that are polite. Make your goal for the month Kindness and reward everytime he is kind. Make a goal (item) he wants to work towards and everytime he's kind, genuinely, give him a reward. I used to also give $10 (big money) whenever I got an unsolicited compliment on my son. I would always share with him what the other person said so he took pride and made sure to "shine that part on" and know "this is where I shine". Good luck, give positive feedback and know that you are supposed to ignore a lot of bad behavior (it's weird to do at first). Pick and chose your battles always and it sounds more like an ADHD problem. My child with Autism also has this Dx. You have to encourage, especially if it "hormonal" time because think of our Hormonal stages and then times that by 10. They feel things more intensely. Physical outlets/sports always. Also, "Downtime" 15 minutes break. 15 minutes work on this. 15 minutes break. 15 minutes get this organized. They frrustrate themselves. Mood boosters help.
•    Anonymous said… Video. Try video. It lets him see another perspective and sometimes is an excellent teaching tool.
•    Anonymous said… We had exactly the same problem with my now 15 year old son, tried literally everything we could think of. Its only now that he is on anxiety meds (Resperidone) that he is almost a different child. I'm not condoning drug use for behaviour but for us it was the best decision we could have made. Perhaps look at the symptoms of ODD as well.

Post your comment below…
By

Parents with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism -- Part 2


In part 2 of this series, we will look at poor cognitive shifting in parents on the autism spectrum:

Research in the area of cognition reports that adults with Asperger's (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) have problems with updating the scope and focus of their attention. This attentional deficit may be due to an inability to reorient attention rapidly, which can be problematic when the mother or father has care and control of younger kids.  Moms and dads need to be able to reorient their attention frequently, and often need to be able to do so under pressure. 



Research also suggests that many people on the autism spectrum have a deficit in the shifting of attention (e.g., paying attention to what someone is saying while being distracted by sensory stimuli). This trait affects parenting as well. These deficits blend with other neurological differences of AS and HFA (e.g., sensory hypersensitivity and hyposensitivity), and together they affect the core tasks of parenting (e.g., the appearance of a sudden strong smell may prevent the parent from noticing what her youngster is doing). 

Related to attention problems are the deficits in the use of visual attention, problems in attending to both auditory and visual information, and problems in attending to many visual stimulus  simultaneously. For example, an autistic parent with three or more kids may struggle with information and sensory input at playgrounds and parks.  In this case, the parent may claim that she is over-stimulated and overwhelmed neurologically, or she may blame others around her for her misery. In this way, the parent is a lot like an autistic child who becomes frequently overwhelmed due to sensory sensitivities. 

In addition to sensory issues, moms and dads on the spectrum often state that they find it difficult to tolerate the normal mess, noise and chaos of their playful, inquisitive children  for any length of time. These parents cope with what are basically neurological insults in a variety of ways (e.g., shutting down, melting down, withdrawing from the unwanted stimuli, etc.). As a result, this may leave the kids to fend for themselves.

The Aspergers Handbook
By

How to Manage Fearfulness in Kids on the Autism Spectrum

Question from a concerned mother of an autistic child: 

"My 9 y.o. son is under a ton of stress right now [I think mostly because of the coronavirus scare]... but there are numerous other things he tends to worry about too. How can we as his parents reduce his excessive and unrealistic fears?!"

CLICK HERE for the answer...


By

School-Work Problems in Children on the Autism Spectrum

“My 10-year-old son, TJ, is in the 5th grade and has high functioning autism. Every night we get into arguments over schoolwork that causes him to have huge temper tantrum. Two afternoons a week, he has other activities, and by the time we get home, doing his assignments is the last thing he feels like doing. The other three days, we argue about whether he should do his homework right after school or if he should have some time to relax and play first. When TJ finally sits down to study, he wants me there helping all the time. I do want to help him, but I know at some point he is going to need to be able to do it on his own, and I have other things I need to be doing. Also, most of the time he doesn’t even remember what assignments he’s supposed to be working on. I’m really confused about this issue and what my role is. Got any ideas?”

A major cause of anguish for children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) – and their parents – is the substandard completion of school work. These young people often have a negative reaction to the mere thought of completing assigned tasks. There are two explanations for this: (1) their degree of anxiety and mental fatigue during the school day, and (2) their cognitive profile.

1. Anxiety and Mental Fatigue—

Parents and teachers need to recognize the degree of anxiety experienced by HFA kids as the signs can become evident in their behavior and mood. The indicators of anxiety may not be noticeable at school, but the youngster may behave very differently at home. He may be quiet and obedient in the classroom, but may become intolerant and hostile immediately after he returns home.

School refusal or walking out of school can be a sign of unbearable anxiety. Other kids on the autism spectrum may express the signs of stress at school through episodes of extreme anger and explosive behavior (e.g., meltdowns). Others may simply “shut down” and become somewhat depressed.
 
==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Kids with HFA and AS who are having problems learning the “social curriculum” and coping with the anxiety of school usually want a clear division between home and school. Their general view is "school is for work, and home is for fun." Thus, the prospect of interrupting their fun and relaxation at home with school work is unacceptable to them – and is a source of ongoing conflict.



2. Cognitive Profile—

Kids with HFA have an uncommon profile of cognitive skills that must be recognized and accommodated when it comes to school work. One feature of the profile is impaired executive function. The profile is similar to that of kids with ADD, for example:
  • a need for supervision, guidance, and determining what is relevant and redundant
  • an unusual profile on standardized tests of intelligence, especially with regard to verbal and visual intelligence
  • difficulty generating new ideas
  • difficulty planning, organizing and prioritizing
  • poor time perception and time management
  • poor working memory
  • tendency to be impulsive and inflexible when problem solving

Some kids on the spectrum are “verbally-oriented” and have a relative strength in reading, vocabulary and verbal concepts, while others are “visually-oriented” (a picture is worth a thousand words).

Tips for Parents and Teachers—

The following strategies are designed to minimize the impaired executive function, accommodate the profile of cognitive skills, and help HFA kids complete their school work assignments with less anxiety, both at home and school:

1. When it comes to school work, the HFA youngster may have difficulty getting started or knowing what to do first. Procrastination can be an issue, and the child’s mother or father may have to supervise the start of the school work.

2. Once the youngster has started his work, this is not the end of the supervision. The parent will also need to be available if the youngster requires assistance when he is confused and to ensure that he has chosen the appropriate learning strategy.

3. There can be a tendency for kids on the autism spectrum to have a closed mind to alternative strategies. A technique to show that there is more than one line of thought is to provide the youngster with a list of alternative strategies to solve the particular problem. The youngster may need to know there is a plan ‘B’.
 
==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

4. If the assignment takes several days to complete, it is important that the educator regularly reviews the youngster’s rough drafts and progress, which also increases the likelihood that it will be completed on time.

5. The area where the youngster performs her school work must be conducive to concentration and learning. It’s helpful to have appropriate seating, lighting and removal of any distractions. The distractions can be visual (e.g., the presence of toys or television), which are a constant reminder of what the youngster would rather be doing, or auditory distraction (e.g., the noise from electrical appliances or the chatter of siblings). Ensure that the desk only has equipment relevant to the task. The child’s working environment must also be safe from curious brothers and sisters.

6. Teaching a youngster with HFA requires special skills and the mother or father is not expected to have those skills. As a parent, you are also more emotionally involved than a teacher, and it can be difficult for you to be objective and emotionally detached. One option is to hire a tutor to provide the skilled guidance and supervision.

7. Special consideration should be given to the youngster’s cognitive strengths and weaknesses. If the youngster’s relative strength is in visual reasoning, then flow diagrams, mind maps, and demonstrations will enhance his understanding. If the child’s strength is in verbal skills, then written instructions and discussion using metaphors (especially metaphors associated with his special interest) will be helpful.

8. The use of a computer is helpful, especially for those kids who have problems with handwriting. Sometimes the mother or father can act as a secretary, typing the material for the youngster and proof reading his answers. School work can be a collaborative rather than solitary activity. Note: parents are not being over-protective here, they just know that without their involvement, the work would not be done.

9. Consider allowing the HFA youngster to complete her school work at school. It can be undertaken at lunchtime and before or after classes in their home class or the school library. However, the child will still require supervision and guidance from a teacher or assistant. In high school, some autistic teens have been able to graduate taking fewer subjects and the extra time available in the school day dedicated to school work.

10. One characteristic of kids on the spectrum is the difficulty explaining their reasoning using speech. For example, the youngster may provide the correct solution to a math problem, but not be able to use words to explain how she achieved the answer. Her cognitive strategies may be unconventional and intuitive rather than deductive. The parent or teacher may need to accept the child’s correct solution, even if the logic is somewhat unclear.

11. Kids with HFA and AS often enjoy having access to a computer and may be more able to understand the subject matter if it is presented on a computer screen. Material presented by a real person adds a social and linguistic dimension to the situation, which can increase the youngster’s confusion and anxiety. Educators should consider adapting the school work so that a considerable proportion of the work is conducted using a computer. Word processing facilities – especially graphics, grammar and spell check programs – are invaluable in improving the legibility and quality of the finished product.

12. Kids on the spectrum are notorious for their difficulty coping with frustration, criticism, and their emotions. They can become quite agitated when confused or when making a mistake. The parent or teacher will need to be available to model calmness and to help the youngster remain composed and logical.

13. A small digital recorder used for dictation can provide a record of the educator’s spoken instructions regarding what assignments are to be completed, and the youngster can add her own comments or personal memo to the recording to remind her of key information. 

==> Teaching Social-Skills and Emotion-Management to Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

14. If regular breaks are necessary to promote concentration, the work can be divided into segments to indicate how much work the youngster has to complete before he can take a momentary break. The usual mistake made by parents and teachers is to expect too much prolonged concentration.

15. A timer can be used to remind the youngster how much time is remaining to complete each section of school work. It is also important to ensure that time scheduled for the work does not coincide with the youngster’s favorite television program, for example. If it does, she may be able to record the show and watch it later.

16. A school work diary or planner can help the youngster remember which books to take home and the specific school work for each evening. Also, a diary (perhaps with stickers and other decorations) may make homework less unappealing to the youngster.

17. A daily school work timetable can be made by the mother or father with guidance from the educator to define the expected duration and content of each assignment. This can be extremely helpful if there are problems with the youngster’s allocation of time to each school work component. Sometimes the work can take hours when the teacher intended only several minutes on a specified task.

18. Lastly, if all these techniques are unsuccessful, consider allowing the HFA youngster to be exempted from doing school work. If the strategies outlined above are unsuccessful or unable to be implemented, then forget about school work. Sometimes this advice is a great relief to the youngster, his mother and father – and the educator!

In conclusion, here are some simple bullet points regarding schoolwork-related problems that parents and teachers will need to remember:
  • Be available for help (this doesn’t mean you must be there beside your child every moment).
  • Be consistent about what time of day the work will be done.
  • Be patient when your child makes the same mistakes over and over again. Maybe he needs to be taught using a different approach.
  • Be realistic in your expectations on how much time it will take. Remember, this is all new for a younger child, and she is just beginning to build her logic and knowledge base.
  • Don’t do problems or assignments FOR your child.
  • Have everything the youngster will need ready before he starts.
  • If the youngster has lots of work, ask her what she would like to start with. This small gesture helps the youngster gain some control over an activity she doesn't like.
  • If your child can’t do his homework at school, he might need to unwind and relax when he first comes home, instead of launching straight into work. 
  • If your child finds it difficult to do homework at home, check to see if he can do it at school instead.
  • If your child has more than one piece of homework, it may be useful to ask the teacher to either make sure your child has written down the homework in his diary – or write it in for him. 
  • Keep the homework-routine predictable and simple. 
  • Keep the work time as quiet as you can.
  • Remember that disorganization is a problem for most kids on the spectrum. Thus, the best assistance you can provide would be in the area of teaching organization skills.
  • Set a timer for 15 minutes, and when it dings, tell your youngster to take a quick break to stretch or get a drink of water.
  • Use a reward system (e.g., the completion of all assignments is rewarded with an extra 15 minutes of computer-game time later that evening).

 
By

Parents with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Part 1

Many parents with Asperger's (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) experience significant difficulties in parenting -- especially if one their children is also on the autism spectrum. Even though the challenges experienced by moms and dads on the spectrum are significant, these challenges are not well understood in the child welfare community. This is in part due to the fact that the AS or HFA parent is able to parent adequately on many fronts, yet he or she is invisibly "disabled" (i.e., the disorder is not readily apparent to the observer). 

Many AS and HFA parents are relatively high functioning in the workplace, but struggle raising their children due to social skills deficits. As any mother or father can tell you, parenting involves a great deal of social expertise, conflict-resolution skills, empathy, listening skills, stress-management, and effective disciplinary techniques -- just to name a few.



Proper parenting is a monumental task that involves (a) providing emotional, relational and financial support, (b) guidance, (c) nurturing, (d) teaching, (e) short and long-term planning. It is a challenge even for parents who have not been diagnosed with a disorder.

Problems in parenting are the result of some of the traits associated with AS and HFA (e.g., weak central coherence, poor cognitive shifting, lack of a theory of mind, etc.) -- not the result of poor parenting skills. While these parents do suffer from significant neurological deficits that can be mistaken as poor parenting, these deficits have more to do with how their brain is wired. They must not be viewed as "bad" parents, rather parents who struggle with a disorder that can affect their parenting abilities.

Most moms and dads with AS and HFA work very hard to understand their kids -- and are eager to parent in their kid’s best interests. But, due to the challenges associated with the disorder, they often fall short. This, in turn, can create a lot of guilt and frustration in the parent who may be viewing herself or himself as a "failure." 

Unfortunately, when these parents begin to experience significant parent-child conflict, they rarely seek outside assistance in the form of parent education. Instead, they may continue parenting in a rather immature and haphazard manner, which often results in their children parenting themselves and/or growing up too  quickly (i.e., they become little adults who appear much older than they are). 

Autistic parents who continue making the same parenting mistakes over and over do so because they lack insight into their disorder and how it impacts their role as a parent. To make matters even more difficult, many moms and dads on the spectrum have a youngster with similar profiles to their own and who are a huge challenge to them. 


By

Rett Syndrome and Asperger's in Girls

“What causes Rett syndrome, and is it a fairly common disorder that occurs alongside Asperger syndrome? Also, what are the treatment options?"

Rett syndrome is relatively rare, affecting almost exclusively females, one out of 10,000 to 15,000. After a period of normal development (usually between 6 and 18 months), autism-like symptoms begin to appear. The little girl's mental and social development regresses. For example, she no longer responds to her mom or dad and pulls away from any social contact. If she has been talking, she stops. She can’t control her feet, and she wrings her hands. Some of the problems associated with Rett syndrome can be treated. Physical, occupational, and speech therapy can help with problems of coordination, movement, and speech.

Scientists sponsored by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development have discovered that a mutation in the sequence of a single gene can cause Rett syndrome. This discovery may help doctors slow or stop the progress of the syndrome. It may also lead to methods of screening for Rett syndrome, thus enabling doctors to start treating these kids much sooner, and improving the quality of life these kids experience.



Symptoms of Rett syndrome include:
  • child may have long fits of laughter
  • child may become tense and irritable as she gets older
  • child may cry or scream for long periods of time
  • no language skills
  • problems with hand movements
  • problems with muscles and coordination
  • slowed growth
  • symptoms usually don’t improve over time
  • trouble with breathing

The best options available to treat Rett syndrome include:
  • Behavioral therapy
  • Good nutrition
  • Occupational therapy
  • Physical therapy 
  • Speech therapy
  • Standard medical care and medication
  • Supportive services

Also, medication can treat some of the problems with movement and help control seizures.

Rett syndrome is a progressive, neurodevelopmental Autism Spectrum Disorder. Asperger's is also an Autism Spectrum Disorder related to development. While Rett syndrome symptoms usually center around the inability to perform motor functions, Asperger's symptoms have more to do with social skills deficits, as well as language and communication impairment. 

By
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)

ASD: Difficulty Identifying and Interpreting Emotional Signals in Others

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a complex neurodevelopmental condition that affects an individual's ability to communicate, interact w...