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Understanding the "Easily Annoyed" Child on the Autism Spectrum

“I have a 9 year old son with [high functioning] autism. My main issue with him is that he is sooooo easily annoyed at EVERY THING! Including ME! If I don't hear his question the first time and say, "What did you say?" …I get, "Nothing, never mind" (big huff and rolling eyes). If his 5 year old sister is crying or getting into his stuff, it is MAJOR drama (screaming at her, slamming doors, etc. etc.). If I am not walking around smiling with sunshine shooting out of my butt (sorry for the metaphor), he automatically thinks I'm angry about something and says, “What's wrong?" I say, "Nothing..." and then it is the whole, “Whatever, never mind.” It's not just the rotten attitude, but his being chronically annoyed. He can't find his shoes, and I get, "arrrgghhhh, I can NEVER find my shoes!!!!" (huff, slam door, and more arrrgghhhh). The toys that he has all lined-up in a row don’t look right, the pants he wants to wear are dirty, his sister doesn't want to watch what he wants to watch – anything and everything! Sometimes I think he needs to be on some kind of medication. We've tried counseling... no help there. Is this just his personality? Is it a symptom of autism? He doesn’t behave this way at school – just at home. I am at my wits END!”

Indeed, children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) are often easily annoyed by others. They are quickly overwhelmed by minimal change and highly sensitive to environmental stimuli. They like everything to stay the same – even their parent’s mood and their sibling’s behavior (which is obviously an unreasonable expectation)). They are anxious and tend to worry obsessively when they do not know what to expect. Stress, fatigue and sensory-overload can throw them off balance. As a result, they may seem to be upset about “everything.”



In addition, it is not uncommon for HFA children to behave fairly well at school, yet act-out at home. However, just because the acting-out occurs at home does not necessarily mean the “cause” of the behavior lies there. Many HFA students find school very stressful, but they tend to keep their emotions bottled-up until they get home. Most young people on the autism spectrum do not display the body language and facial expressions you would expect to see when a “typical” youngster is feeling a stressed or angry. While kids on the spectrum may appear relatively calm at school, they are often experiencing very different emotions under the surface – and may release those pent-up emotions in the safety of their home.

When your HFA youngster is acting-out due to being annoyed by someone or something, what is your initial response? Do you become anxious and give-in to avoid conflict? Do you say nothing and hope that it will pass? Do you get angry yourself and start shouting? Maybe your answer is, “All three depending on the day!” Welcome to the club! Trying to help an annoyed, angry child to calm down – time after time, day in and day out – is exhausting and stressful.

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management

The adamant expression of annoyance in the form of anger serves a purpose. It lets you know that something is wrong in the same way that burning your finger lets you know that the oven is hot. It hits rapidly, and the reaction is instantaneous. Similarly, for example, your youngster is upset because he can’t watch the TV show he wants to – and BAM – the parent has a fight on her hands. Keeping this in mind, let’s switch gears and get into problem-solving mode…

How can parents help the “easily annoyed” HFA child? Here are some thoughts to ponder:

1. The first step in helping your child overcome this problem is to change your reaction to his behavior. If you give-in, or say nothing, or get angry, then your child will know that he can push your buttons – and that it works. He knows that if he can wear you down by complaining or getting angry, he will get his way in the end. Instead of being held accountable, he has figured out a way to avoid negative consequences. Therefore, parents need to learn to overcome their “knee-jerk” reactions of giving-in, ignoring misbehavior, or getting angry.

2. Do not simply assume that there is nothing to be annoyed about. Your youngster may not be wrong for feeling this way. There may be some justification for her frustration, even if the behavior is not justified. If your youngster can’t be civil in explaining her annoyance, then say something such as, “I understand you feel annoyed. I’m sorry you feel that way.” Then leave it alone until she has calmed down. If she starts acting-out her frustration (e.g., cussing, throwing things, hitting, etc.), then that is when you want to address the behavior. You can’t control the way your youngster feels about things, but you can give her consequences and hold her accountable for acting-out. It’s normal for all children to be annoyed from time to time. It’s not the feeling of frustration that is the problem, it is the resulting behavior. So, don’t punish feelings, only punish misbehavior.

3. Consider whether or not a consequence is really necessary. Let’s say a 10-year-old boy is annoyed and frustrated about something, so he mutters something under his breath, walks into his bedroom and slams the door. When you look at it objectively, a youngster who is working on his frustration has actually handled it fairly well – in this case, going to his room to calm down. In a situation like this, you may decide to waive the consequence. While different parents have different rules about what is allowed and what is not, there should be some latitude to allow your youngster to express frustration as long as property is not damaged and no one gets hurt.

4. Sometimes, a child’s frustration is caused by very real and inescapable problems in his life. Not all frustration is misplaced – and often it is a healthy, natural response to these difficulties. There is a cultural belief that every problem has a solution, and it adds to the parent’s frustration to find out that this is not always the case. The best attitude to bring to such a situation, then, is NOT to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how the frustrated child handles and faces the problem. Help your child to make a plan for those occasions when he is annoyed and irritated, and help him check his progress along the way. If your child can approach his problems with his best intentions and make a serious attempt to face it head-on, he will be less likely to lose patience and fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem does not get solved right away.

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management

5. Parents need to understand that the HFA child typically has a very low toleration for frustration. This frustration comes from a lack of understanding of his feelings. He is unable to identify and express what he is feeling, so he lumps all the “bad” feelings together. Moms and dads witness the overflow of “bad” feelings that come out all at once. It's important that you don't take them personally, even when they seem as though they are directed at you. A young person on the autism spectrum wants to tell his parents what is on his mind, but most of the time he does not know how to say it properly, or he misinterpreted his thoughts and feelings altogether.

6. Often times, when a child is easily annoyed, it is because she has poor problem-solving skills. She has not learned to solve her underlying problems in healthy ways, so she yells, throws things, and calls people names. One of your most important jobs is to give your child some problem-solving tools. The development of problem-solving skills should include your HFA youngster as a contributor in planning and execution. Thus, be sure to include her input in all the suggestions listed below. The ideas described are something you are doing WITH your youngster, rather than TO her. In order to help the easily annoyed child, parents need a thorough understanding of their child’s perspective. Any approach to correcting frustration and resultant acting-out behavior that does not include the youngster is not going to have long-term benefits.




Here are some ways to assist your HFA child in learning a few problem-solving skills:
  • Enhance sensitivity to verbal and nonverbal social cues through games and role play, teaching your youngster to identify social cues in body language and pitch of voice.
  • Have your youngster make a video of his own nonverbal cues, and then have him explain his feelings on the basis of cues demonstrated in the video (e.g., hand gestures, facial expressions, voice intonation, and other indicators of social intent).
  • Help your youngster identify his own feeling states through self-report and observation.
  • Help your youngster to assess likely outcomes of potential responses and to select a response that can be initiated given the limitations of the situation. Compared to non-frustrated kids, frustrated ones tend to evaluate pro-social responses less favorably. Thus, they are not behaving a certain way to purposely hurt those around them, rather they are simply making decisions based on social skills deficits.
  • Help your youngster to assign meaning to social cues. This step is necessary because easily annoyed, frustrated kids commonly interpret neutral interactions as threatening – and then respond defensively. Unlike “typical” kids, HFA kids do not intuitively know how to exhibit socially acceptable behavior, and the level of their required assistance depends on the social supports they have previously encountered.
  • Help your youngster to attend to social cues that are often missed or misinterpreted.
  • Help your youngster to develop ideas about how to respond to each social circumstance he encounters. This step is necessary because, compared with “typical” kids, AS and HFA kids identify fewer alternatives and seem unaware of the various options that may be open to them when confronted by a social problem. These “special needs” kids need help identifying their options and possible outcomes (this is why constantly telling them what they are doing wrong does not increase the likelihood of improved future performance).
  • Your youngster should learn to identify and classify social cues by friendly, neutral, and hostile categories of intent. The youngster can practice by assuming the roles of his siblings and/or peers in disputes.

If the HFA child is exhibiting threatening behavior and seems unable to control it, then getting him to work with a professional is the best approach. A qualified therapist can provide coping techniques for the youngster to deal with his tendency to be annoyed by others and the resultant frustration and acting-out. In addition, the therapist can provide you with valuable insight and tools for helping your youngster deal with his negative feelings.

 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said…  Almost word for word what I say/do when my Aspie son thinks he can get away with that type of behavior.
•    Anonymous said… Anxiety is also a good thing to learn about. This will probably drive a number of his behaviours. Meditation and mindfulness are great for both of you! Plus he most likely is doing some of these things at school - they just have structure and support staff to manage his needs. It's 100 times harder at home. Like my sister said, moan and chat when not there because then you have the energy to manage when it doesn't go right. Rob long (ed psyc) says "calm when they get it wrong, happy when they get it right"
•    Anonymous said… At that age they get a huge testerone increase . Have a Google of it and see if that helps explain his change in behaviour.
•    Anonymous said… Brilliant article
•    Anonymous said… Find a therapist who specializes in Behaviour Modification Techniques ... PAY THE MONEY TO LEARN It and most importantly ... STICK TO IT! Temple Grandin is th best expert on Aspergers and Autism and she has spoken frequently on the need for manners, rules and good behaviour for children on the spectrum.
•    Anonymous said… Firstly, I would remove the bedroom door, and explain that when he can be trusted with it by showing some self-control he may get it back. We have done this at our house. He can choose to control himself, but he is controlling you , as he seems to have you all walking around on eggshells, so the anger is beneficial to him. He needs to lose something, such as a privilege, when he is being obnoxious. As a boy, he is only going to get bigger, stronger, and harder to train. Teach him more acceptable methods of expressing displeasure, such as just telling you he is upset. Then when he does it, thank him for using words instead of anger, and try to reach a compromise. Maybe you could make some house rules and post them for all the kids, such as: No door slamming, Work out problems calmly, Don't touch other people's things without asking permission, etc. And try to get him into the tub two or three times a week and put a cup or two of Epsom salts in there as the water runs. The magnesium helps anxiety tremendously.
•    Anonymous said… I can't tell you what a miracle biofeedback was for us. He can control his physical response to stress and anxiety.
•    Anonymous said… I get the same thing from my Aspie and she tells me I am screaming when I am not at all it is annoying to hear that stuff all the time
•    Anonymous said… I would say anxiety. That's how my husband and oldest son project their anxiety. The right meds for both of them helps with that so so much.
•    Anonymous said… I'm really not having a go at all but some of this ( and I mean some not all) can be solved by very strict parenting - not a day without the house rules... Nothing. Hard work but you will get there... It's very hard to differentiate between what is truly aspergers behaviour and what is a naughty child... The latter needs telling. Aspergers isn't a licence for bad behaviour non stop. I have been through it with my son but honestly you will get through to the other side by just sticking to your guns.
•    Anonymous said… It is expectation. In their all or nthing thinking, They expect you to be a certain way. Perform to a certain level. Respond immediately. Know everything. Be everything. When you fall short of their expectations, as you invariably will, you get the eye roll and huffing and puffing. Teach them that people don't operate at their level. That they can and will do it their way, in their own time. Just because he expects it does not mean it's going to happen.
•    Anonymous said… It is like reading the story of my 12 year old! Sigh.
•    Anonymous said… it is the autism, my son has same diagnosis. there are many tricks to helping him. these kids benefit from programs that teach them how to read body language. set s place for his shoes and make sure they are put in same place for him til he gets used to doing it for himself. allow him to have his own tv solves the tv issue. and with my son i just have to do his laundry regular esp. if he has a fave shirt he wants to wear everyday cause it has to get washed after every use, they can be OCD about a lot of things! sometimes you just got to see the humour in it.
•    Anonymous said… Keep smiling keep loving him xx have a good moan and chat when he's at school xx surround yourself with positive people! You are not alone in this xx
•    Anonymous said… My 14 year old! The constant mumbling "whatever, you don't care" under his breath when I don't hear what he said to me or he doesn't think I'm interested in what he says. Everyday! I think I just expect to hear it now on a daily basis. Some days it's not as easy to tolerate.
•    Anonymous said… My 9 year old until I insisted on putting him in lexapro . He's a different person now. The psychiatrist wanted him in mood stabilizers . They didn't work he was angry then at times a zombie and gained weight which caused more problems . Find a good Psychiatrist. Good luck it's a game of trial and error. It's so exhausting and emotionally draining . Mine is also 9
•    Anonymous said… My daughter does some of the same things. I do not allow her to continue with the behavior. I tell her yes things are going to agitate her but she can't control other people only herself. If she is agitated I tell her to remove herself from the situation of possible.
•    Anonymous said… My daughter is on a natural supplement called GABA recommended by her therapist. It is amazing and helps with the anxiety.
•    Anonymous said… my poor lad spent quite a lot of his time in bedroom when younger. It's v tricky to know what's right but my boy is 14 now and just fabulous!
•    Anonymous said… My sentiments exactly. My son (not an aspie) has been in therapy since he was 8 years old (he's 18 now) and it did help some.. but since he has been on Paxil he is just feeling so much better.. we are getting to see the real kid
•    Anonymous said… My son has always reminded me of an old curmudgeon. LOL! Part of it is from anxiety.
•    Anonymous said… Not saying this is the case in every family, BUT kids do mirror how their parents act in any given situation. How the parent reacts in a stressful or bad situation is important. Are Mom and Dad yelling and screaming at eachother or the kids or they acting like the adult and staying calm ? I think all kids will see how far they can push you,but with our kids in the spectrum it may be other triggers setting them off 9 times out of 10 and it's your job as their parent to help them through it.
•    Anonymous said… Now if you try to hold his hand he digs his nails in you, if you hold his arm he yells your hurting him which we are not. Prior to him moving in my home last year I never had issues with him.
•    Anonymous said… Pathological demand avoidance after all these years my daughter is finally diagnosed she is now 40 years old!!!
•    Anonymous said… Sounds like A 7 old i know saying "Life is horrible" etc for any "good" reason
•    Anonymous said… Sounds like my 5 yr old grandson who hasn't be diagnosed but is being evaluated for it, he doesn't act like this at school either. His 2 yr old sister shares the same attitude so I'm questioning why do they share the same type behavior? My grandson growls to express his anger a lot. I discipline him as if he is a just a normal child but with a slight difference bcz he needs to learn it's not ok to hurt people and the fact I don't know if he's autistic or not. He scratches the paint off my wall in time out. I figure if he can behave at school, he can behave here or at home.
•    Anonymous said… Sounds like my 6 nearly 7 year old son
•    Anonymous said… Sounds like my hubby and daughter LOL!
•    Anonymous said… That's like the majority of 14 year olds!... It's up to you to decide whether you accept it or not...not much to do with aspergers imho
•    Anonymous said… The therapy recommended for my daughter was cognitive behavioral therapy. In one year her tantrums and anxiety have decreased dramatically.
•    Anonymous said… This sounds exactly like my 8 year old daughter.
•    Anonymous said… Took him to an air show yesterday and spent most of the time disciplining him. to stay side by side as we walked, disturbing other people, asking for food or to buy him stuff bcz I wasn't paying the high prices. He makes up his own jibberish language (which I used to do and a young child), he is impulsive(what comes to mind he does-something I used to do).
•    Anonymous said… Very difficult when this is your everyday, my easily upset one is an adult now and manages himself better , he really didn`t know anyone else was upset by his actions or why they would be. Empathy is not his big thing I have had to learn to love him in spite of his behavior.
•    Anonymous said… We are living this nightmare now with our son. He is 15. Oddly enough when he was younger he rarely got upset. It wasn't until the end of 7th grade that the anger issues began to show and now its a common occurrence. Just dealing with a teen is hard enough but then compound that with Aspergers. It's exhausting! We recently turned to a psychiatrist and counseling. Too early to tell if it has helped...he is more aware and is trying to make a conscious effort to not get angry. Its a start (:
•    Anonymous said… Wow I thought I was reading my own story. I have a 8 year old high functioning Aspergers who is exactly this story. Yesterday he totally lost control and became violent. Later he broke down crying and asked for a cuddle. He revealed that all his friends for dumping him and he felt different confused and that no one understood him. As devastating and heartbreaking as that was for us to hear at least I know he trusts me enough to have those tough conversations. Even at 8 he loves his cuddles. I don't think anyway has the right I think we just work it out along the way as every child is different there sensory needs are different and the way the my respond is obviously different. Hang in there stay calm and take a breath
•    Anonymous said… You pick and choose your battles and keep moving forward
•    Anonymous said…Oh you just wrote about my son. He is 19 now. But still. Cracked it yesterday cause one of his computer leads got tangled - they seem to have a very short fuse.
*    Anonymous said... My son gets frustrated to the point that he always seems upset or angry. He will give up on things if they don't go his way without even putting any more effort into it. I've dealt with it for so long that I just tend to go on with my day and not let it get me down. I've tried to explain to him how to persevere and get something accomplished, or how to fix his problem. He tends to be very stubborn and often doesn't listen to that either. It does wear out a parent! He is 19 and done with school now, so this is also a hard transition time. I'm hopeful that eventually he will outgrow the teen years and maybe develop a more laid back attitude toward life.
*    Anonymous said... My son who is also 9 is the same way and also has very high anxiety. His doctor put him on a low dose Zoloft for the anxiety because it was affecting everything he did and it's done wonders for his anger as well.

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By

Help for the Vindictive, Revengeful Child on the Autism Spectrum

"I need some advice on how to help my child (autistic) deal with his revengeful attitude. He's quick to fly off the handle whenever he thinks he's been treated unfairly (quite a black-and-white thinker)."

A youngster with ASD level 1, or high functioning autism, who is vindictive is demonstrating that something is wrong. His rage and hostility are symptoms of an underlying problem.

It may be the result of (a) the expression of emotions, attitudes and behavior that have been inadvertently or purposefully conditioned; (b) an expression of emotional distress; (c) an attempt to cope with sensory sensitivities; and/or (d) a physical, developmental, neurological or mental illness.

Symptoms of a vindictive or revengeful child include the following:
  • angry and irritable mood
  • argues with parents and teachers
  • behavior causes significant problems at home and school
  • blames others for his or her misbehavior
  • deliberately annoys siblings and peers
  • is easily annoyed by others
  • is often resentful
  • often loses temper
  • refuses to comply with parents’/teachers’ requests or rules



For some kids, symptoms may first be seen only at home, but with time, these symptoms extend to other settings (e.g., with friends, at school, etc.).

No matter the cause, the behavior of a vindictive youngster is hurtful to others and ultimately self-destructive. It is to everyone’s benefit to find ways to handle the autistic youngster that will limit the aggression and amend the underlying issues that feed his or her malevolence.

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

Parents can begin chipping away at problem behaviors by utilizing these suggestions:

1. Assign a household chore that's essential and that won't get done unless your child does it. It's important to (a) set your youngster up for success with tasks that are relatively easy to achieve, and (b) gradually blend in more important and challenging expectations. Also, give clear, easy-to-follow instructions for the chore. Kids who feel competent tend to have higher self-esteem and improved behavior.

2. Show your youngster – in your own behavior – how you can use reason, talk and problem-solving to achieve goals as opposed to “acting-out.”

3. Never use insults, sarcasm or satire as a means of verbal punishment or as a strategy for enlightenment. ASD children have difficulty understanding figurative or metaphorical statements.

4. Use “labeled praise” when your child exhibits the kind of positive behavior you would like to see more of (e.g., “I saw that you were irritated, but you did a good job of being courteous and not losing your temper”).

5. At first, your youngster may not be cooperative or appreciate your changed response to his behavior. Understand that behavior may worsen temporarily in the face of new expectations (called an "extinction burst" by therapists). Remaining consistent in the face of increasingly difficult behavior is the key to success initially.




6. Build in time together by developing a regular weekly schedule that involves you and your youngster spending time doing something the two of you enjoy.

7. Cognitive problem-solving training is a type of therapy that is aimed at helping your youngster identify and change thought patterns that lead to behavior problems. Collaborative problem-solving, in which you and your youngster work together to come up with solutions that work for both of you, can help improve defiant behavior.

8. Consider “Parent Training.” A mental health provider can help you develop parenting skills that are more positive and less aggravating for you and your youngster. In some cases, your youngster may participate in this type of training with you so that everyone develops shared goals for how to handle problems.

9. Find out what your youngster’s perceptions of the situation are, and try to understand her motivation.

10. Get your child to verbalize his feelings so he can learn how to talk about anger, aggravation, and bitterness rather than “acting it out.”

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

11. If your youngster is acting unkindly toward others and not responding to limits, then monitor and limit movies, television, and video games to venues that provide only appropriate models. Do not allow exposure to aggression, violence, and disrespect of others.

12. Pick your battles carefully, and avoid power struggles. Almost any minor conflict can turn in to a “knock-down-drag-out” fight if you let it.

13. Establish a strict zero-tolerance policy for teasing, bullying, and verbal/physical aggression. Respond to every incident of these behaviors. If the behavior problem is minor, offer a verbal warning – but do not allow the behavior to continue or worsen. After warnings have been given, meet every occurrence of vindictiveness with a consequence.

14. Set up a routine by developing a consistent daily schedule for your youngster. Asking your youngster to help develop that routine will be favorable.

15. Social skills training is greatly needed for children on the autism spectrum. Their social skills are characteristically very poor. Your youngster also may benefit from therapy that will help her learn how to interact more positively with friends and classmates.

16. Try individual and family therapy. Individual counseling for your youngster may help him learn to manage anger and express feelings in a more appropriate manner. Family counseling may help improve your communication skills, and help all family members learn how to work together.

17. Work with your youngster to identify alternative behavioral options. Ask her if there are other ways she could have handled the situation, and talk about how to use those alternative responses (at a time when she is calm, of course).

18. Show consistent, unconditional love and acceptance for your youngster — even in the face of difficult and disruptive circumstances. Staying calm and rational during stressful encounters can be tough for even the most patient mom or dad.

19. Work with your spouse/ partner to ensure consistent and appropriate disciplinary methods. Also, enlist the support of teachers, coaches, and other adults who spend time with your youngster.

20. If the strategies listed above do not bring significant improvement in your child’s behavior, then consult with a physician and/or therapist. Medical issues (e.g., ADHD, allergies, diabetes, exposure to toxins, hypoglycemia, nutritional deficits, etc.) can contribute to verbal and physical aggression. Likewise, a psychological evaluation can expose issues that may contribute to persistent vindictiveness (e.g., neurological and psychiatric illnesses, emotional distress, depression, anxiety, etc.).

Although many parenting strategies may seem like common sense, learning to use them in the face of opposition is tough – especially if there are other anxiety-producing factors in the home. Learning the skills listed above will require consistent practice and patience.


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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By

False Dilemma: A Thinking Error in Kids on the Spectrum

A false dilemma means seeing the world only in terms of extremes (e.g., if things aren't "perfect," then they must be "horrible").


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Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
   
 
More resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 


By

The Role of Environment in the Psychiatric Difficulties of Kids on the Spectrum

In a multitude of ways, the environment affects children with Asperger’s and high-functioning autism (HFA), and is a major factor that influences the severity of comorbid psychiatric disorders (e.g., anxiety, depression, OCD, bipolar disorder, ADHD, Tourette Syndrome, personality disorders, ODD, etc.).

Undeniably, the varied expression of psychiatric problems in kids with Asperger’s and HFA is directly related to environmental factors, which suggests the opportunity for planning various interventions. For example, family and daily routines should be considered as environmental factors that can lead to exacerbation (i.e., an increase in severity) or amelioration (i.e., a decrease in severity) of comorbid disorders.



The challenge of understanding the special needs of Asperger’s and HFA kids, and the problems associated with building a close relationship with them, often contributes to increased stress in their moms and dads. Parents of kids on the autism spectrum have been shown to have a reduced sense of happiness and security, and tend to display a general lower quality of life – even in comparison with parents of kids with other disorders (e.g., cerebral palsy or mental retardation). Furthermore, moms were found to experience a higher level of stress than dads, and this higher stress is often related to unusual behavioral traits of the youngster (e.g., hyperactivity, conduct problems, etc.).

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism


Other research reports elevated rates of anxiety-related personality traits among the relatives (e.g., siblings, grandparents, etc.) of kids on the spectrum. Moreover, elevated anxiety levels in the moms and dads of these young people can be considered an important environmental factor that can trigger genetically-determined personality traits that are eventually shared with other family members and constitute a genetic family-loading for psychiatric disorders.

The importance of environmental factors in the expression of psychiatric symptoms was investigated in a sample of young people with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), including children with Asperger’s and their siblings, with an evaluation reported independently by parents and educators. Reports by educators showed a much lower prevalence of comorbidity in these children (in particular for somatic, oppositional, conduct, attention, anxiety, and affective problems) as compared to the reports by their moms and dads. These results support the idea that the expression of psychiatric problems in kids with Asperger’s varies depending on the environmental context, and that their identification depends on the type of observer (in this case, teacher versus parent).

There is often a lack of consensus between the reports of parents and educators regarding the behavioral characteristics of kids with Asperger’s and HFA, hence suggesting that caution should be used when making conclusions about the presence of comorbid psychiatric difficulties based simply on the environmental context or a single informant source. Instead, information should be gathered from multiple sources and settings, including direct observation by therapists.

The problems that the youngster experiences in terms of social relationships are even greater outside of the home environment (e.g., school, church, scouts, etc.). The lack of adequate teacher-parent communication, coordination among social service providers, and social support often leaves the parents alone with the burden of providing a more intensive level of care and any additional support.

Unfortunately, schools are not always equipped to deal with the unique needs of the Asperger’s or HFA student, and this often drives him or her to develop feelings of low self-esteem, sadness, and self-blame, which often leads to other problems (e.g., meltdowns, depression, hyperactivity, conduct problems, etc.).

Research has also reported that negative events (e.g., parental discord, frequent changes of own residence, death of a family member, etc.) have significant influence on the youngster’s mood and functioning – and have been associated with clinical depression. These children tend to react to negative life events more severely (and in a different way) than “typical” children do. HFA students are also more vulnerable to developing mood disorders and depressive symptoms than other children (which may be correlated to a genetic predisposition).

Since environmental factors appear to substantially influence the expression of psychiatric comorbidities in children on the spectrum, more attention should be focused on the interactions between these children and their diverse everyday life events. Parents, teachers, and professionals can develop coping strategies and provide a better social support that may contribute to a decrease in the incidence of psychiatric disorders in Asperger’s children.

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism


There are numerous accommodations that parents can make to help their child cope effectively with his or her environment. Here are just a few:
  1. Allow more time to complete chores, homework, etc.
  2. Avoid being critical and negative toward your youngster.
  3. Avoid over-scheduling him and allow him free time to play, read, listen to music, or just relax.
  4. Avoid placing unrealistic expectations on your child.
  5. Break tasks down into a few small steps (no more than 5) that can be completed one at a time so that your youngster does not feel overwhelmed with the task. For example, “It’s time to clean your room. So, put your clean clothes in this drawer. Pick up your dirty clothes off the floor and put them in this laundry basket. Then take the basket to the laundry room.”
  6. Create a special signal (e.g., tapping the tip of your nose) that you can use with your youngster to redirect his attention back to what you are saying whenever necessary.
  7. Demonstrate active interest in your youngster’s school progress and support her with her learning and homework.
  8. Encourage physical activity and healthy eating habits.
  9. Have a crisis plan in place in the case of meltdowns (e.g., due to your child’s sensory sensitivities, due to his inability to cope or interact with siblings, etc.). This plan may include providing a quiet place for your youngster to go when needed.
  10. Help build your youngster’s sense of self-worth by recognizing his achievements.
  11. Listen to your youngster and encourage him to talk about his feelings and worries.           
  12. Manage your own stress, and be a positive role model.
  13. Monitor their youngster’s access to media and ensure she is aware of safe online practices.
  14. Prepare your child in advance for any changes in routine or other unexpected activities. For example, use this 3-stage warning: “In 15 minutes, we are going to the grocery store.” Then after 5 minutes have passed, repeat your instruction and say “In 10 minutes, we are going to the store.” Then after 5 minutes, say “We are leaving in 5 minutes.”
  15. Provide a written, predictable schedule of events (e.g., “On school days, you get dressed, brush your teeth, eat some breakfast, get your school bag, and then get on the bus”). Remember, Asperger’s kids thrive on routine.
  16. Regularly spend calm and relaxing time with your youngster.
  17. Set firm expectations regarding house rules. In many cases, Asperger’s kids may not want to follow a rule that holds no interest for them (e.g., “Be sure to wash your hands before you come to the dinner table”). It is important for parents to establish and maintain control – even when their child has an Autism Spectrum Disorder.
  18. Show active interest in your youngster’s activities and hobbies, and participate when possible.
  19. Support your youngster if he is exposed to bullying.
  20. Use less verbal instruction, and replace it with visual instruction. For example, use drawings, pictures, or other images to create a “chores chart” or a “house-rules chart.”
  21. Use positive reinforcement for good behavior as often as possible!

When environmental stress becomes too much to handle, the youngster can develop a range of physical, emotional or behavioral symptoms, and can even be at risk of developing other mental health problems. Also, he may find it difficult to recognize and verbalize when he is experiencing stress. Thus, it is important for moms and dads to teach their “special needs” child to recognize and express his emotions, and to use healthy ways to cope effectively with the environment.

More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

 ==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

 ==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

 ==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook



==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism
By

Developmental Coordination Disorder in Children on the Autism Spectrum

 "Are children with ASD usually late in developing fine and gross motor skills?"

Initial accounts of Asperger’s (high functioning autism) include descriptions of Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD). Kids on the autism spectrum are often delayed in acquiring motor skills that require motor dexterity (e.g., bicycle riding, hand writing, tying shoe laces, opening a jar, etc.) and may appear clumsy.

Many of these young people exhibit an odd gait or posture, poor coordination, problems with conceptual learning, difficulty with visual-motor integration, and trouble with visual-perceptual skills.

DCD is a chronic neurological disorder beginning in childhood that can affect planning of movements and coordination due to brain messages not being accurately transmitted to the body, and is diagnosed in the absence of other neurological impairments (e.g., Parkinson's disease, muscular dystrophy, multiple sclerosis, and cerebral palsy). DCD is more common in boys than girls (approximately 4 males to every 1 female).



In addition to physical impairments, DCD is associated with memory problems (e.g., problems with organizing one's time and remembering deadlines, problems carrying out tasks that require remembering several steps in sequence, increased tendency to lose things, and difficulty remembering instructions).

Other problems that Asperger’s children with DCD may experience include:
  • struggling to distinguish left from right
  • problems with balance 
  • poor sense of direction 
  • moderate to extreme difficulty performing physical tasks 
  • low muscle tone
  • fatigue due to so much extra energy being expended while trying to execute physical movements correctly
  • difficulty moderating the amount of sensory information that their body is constantly sending them, and as a result, they are prone to sensory overload and panic attacks

 ==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

In the preschool youngster with DCD, common traits reported by moms and dads include a history of delayed developmental milestones, especially crawling, difficulty making friends, difficulty with dressing, immature art work, poor ball skills, speech, and walking.

In the elementary school youngster, common traits include difficulties in copying from the blackboard, slow/immature/laborious handwriting, and persistence of (and no improvement in) the problems noted in the preschool years.

DCD affects both fine and gross motor control. Let’s look at each of these in turn:

Fine-motor problems can cause difficulty with a wide variety of tasks (e.g., brushing one's teeth, doing chores, fastening buttons, locking and unlocking doors, brushing one's hair, using a knife or fork, etc.). As mentioned previously, there tends to be problems with handwriting (e.g., the acquisition of graphemes such as letters of the alphabet and numbers, learning basic movement patterns, establishing the correct pencil grip, developing a desired writing speed, etc.).

Gross motor control is the ability to make large, general movements. Body image issues, motor coordination, and whole body movement mean that major developmental targets (e.g., climbing, jumping, running, walking, etc.) can be affected. The problems vary from child to child and can include:
  • bumping into people accidentally
  • clumsiness to the point of knocking things over
  • cross-laterality, ambidexterity, and a shift in the preferred hand 
  • difficulty combining movements into a controlled sequence
  • difficulty in determining left from right
  • difficulty remembering the next movement in a sequence
  • poor balance 
  • poor muscle tone and/or proprioception
  • poor timing
  • problems with chewing foods
  • problems with spatial awareness
  • tripping over one's own feet
  • trouble picking up and holding onto simple objects

Developmental Verbal Dyspraxia—

Developmental Verbal Dyspraxia (DVD), sometimes referred to as “childhood apraxia of speech,” is a type of DCD that can cause speech and language impairments. The key difficulties include: 
  • controlling the speech organs
  • making speech sounds
  • sequencing sounds within a word or forming words into sentences
  • controlling breathing
  • suppressing salivation and phonation when talking or singing 
  • slow language development

Research has found that children with DCD and normal language skills still experience learning difficulties despite relative strengths in language. This means that for a student with DCD, her working memory abilities determine her learning difficulties. Any strength in language that she has is not able to sufficiently support her learning.

Assessment—

When the issue is raised, the child’s doctor is likely to make a referral to a physiotherapist and/or occupational therapist to help in the diagnosis of DCD, and may involve educational, clinical or neuropsychologists in the assessment of associated problems.

The two main questions to be answered when assessing a child with possible DCD are, first, does he or she have significant coordination difficulties compatible with DCD and, second, is there an underlying neurological or physical disorder? An underlying neurological or medical disorder should always be considered and excluded.

Assessments for DCD typically require a developmental history, detailing ages at which significant developmental milestones occurred (e.g., crawling, walking, etc.). Motor skills screening includes activities designed to indicate DCD (e.g., variations on walking activities, touch sensitivity, physical sequencing, and balancing). Screening tests that can be used to assess DCD include:
  • Bruininks-Oseretsky Test of Motor Proficiency
  • Movement Assessment Battery for Children
  • Peabody Developmental Motor Scales
  • Test of Gross Motor Development

 ==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

Therapists use a range of activities to assess the youngster's level of ability in certain crucial areas (e.g., body awareness, cerebral integration, kinesthetic awareness, limb girdle stability, and motor skills).

Treatment—

In general, therapists use two main methods of treatment: process orientated and task orientated. Process‐orientated therapy concentrates on developing sensory modalities involved in motor performance (e.g., the sensory integration approach). The task‐orientated approach aims to improve specific tasks through practice.

Other approaches have focused on improving the child’s self‐esteem rather than the core problems of coordination. Some clinics offer transitional programs to help kids with DCD meet the increasing physical and educational demands when moving from primary to secondary education.

Although kids with DCD usually benefit from physical therapies, many receive as much benefit from psychological support to help them develop compensatory strategies, and cope with their motor impairment and loss of self‐esteem.

Although there is currently no cure for DCD, early intervention may help to reduce the physical, emotional, and social consequences that are often associated with this condition. Without intervention, Asperger’s kids with DCD will continue to exhibit poor motor skills – and show deficits in other areas as well. These young people can - and do - learn to perform certain motor tasks, but they have difficulty when faced with new, age-appropriate ones and are at risk for secondary difficulties that result from their motor challenges. Also, it is important to note that kids with DCD often experience considerable difficulties at school; therefore, it is necessary for parents to educate their child’s teachers about this disorder.


More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

 ==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

 ==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

 ==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

 ==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book
==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism
By

Hidden Meanings Behind Problematic Behaviors in Kids on the Autism Spectrum

Most difficult behaviors are triggered by an event. Just as you might suddenly feel thirsty as you walk past a lemonade stand, there are “triggers” in your youngster’s life that elicit certain behaviors. Use a diary to identify these triggers for your youngster’s most challenging behaviors.


More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism
 



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Poor "People Skills" in Teens on the Autism Spectrum

"Any tips for helping my depressed teenager with ASD to develop some people skills in order to find a few friends that he can relate to?"

The rules of social engagement are unwritten. If an adult makes a “social mistake” (e.g., saying “thank you sir” to a woman who happens to look like a man), it may result in an awkward moment or some embarrassment.

For teens though, social mistakes can have profound and disastrous consequences. If they “fail” socially, they can be ostracized from their peer-group, have difficulty making new friends, and feel a sense of general isolation from everybody.

Many teens with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s (AS) do not know how to engage with their friends and classmates. They are simply not interested in the current fads or topics of conversation among their peer-group. As a result, they may experience teasing, bullying, and rejection from peers – and may feel isolated to the point of experiencing anxiety and/or depression.



Here are some symptoms to look for in your HFA or AS youngster’s behavior when he or she is “failing” socially:
  • Behaviors are causing the teen to get into conflicts at school
  • Disengagement from friends and classmates
  • Increase in anger and/or frustration
  • Is so socially anxious that the teen starts refusing to go to school or skips classes
  • Poor academic performance
  • Preference for isolation at home and school
  • Seems genuinely depressed
  • Sickness (e.g., frequent stomach aches, headaches, etc.)

The HFA or AS teen needs to decide for himself when he will work on his poor people skills. It can be tough for parents to sit back and watch their “special needs” teen struggle in the social arena, but they should try to let things play out on their own time. To charge-in and assert to the autistic teen that he “needs to work harder on developing some friendship skills” will only add to his low self-esteem and sense of being an “odd ball.”

==> Discipline for Defiant Asperger's and High-Functioning Autistic Teens

Oftentimes, teens on the autism spectrum are not in a headspace where they are ready to make changes (but when they get older, many of them start to feel differently). Here are some reasons why your HFA or AS teen may not be up for addressing his social skills deficits:
  • He may recognize he has some social problems, but is ashamed of them. He would rather try to hide them and save face even if that means losing out in the present.
  • He may realize he has some things he needs to work on, but doesn't feel they are a priority at the moment. Plus, “trying to change” would be too much work.
  • He may not see himself as awkward, just different. At the moment, he doesn't think there is anything wrong.
  • He may fully believe the messages that his insecurities are telling him, and he may not think there is any hope of improving (e.g., “You either have it or you don't.” “There's no way I can just talk to other people and then ask them to hang out.” “I'm just bad with people.”)
  • So far in life, his lack of social skills may not have cost him enough (e.g., a 16-year-old boy who doesn't need a lot of friends and who is content to spend his free time on the computer is not losing much by being ostracized from his peer-group). As a young adult, he may realize he needs better people skills in order to get a job or find a girlfriend, and then be motivated to do something about it.
  • Many HFA and AS teenagers – and even young adults – are somewhat unaware of the fact that they have social issues. They know on some level, but for the most part, they are perfectly content to stay at home all the time and play video games.
  • Like most teenagers, the teen on the autism spectrum may have the attitude that his mom and dad don't really know what they're talking about – especially when it comes to his social life. He may think his mom and dad simply don't understand what he is going through. Even if parents tell him they went through the exact same thing at his age, he may still think they are clueless. 
  • Most teenagers, autistic or not, don't like to think that they fail to measure-up in their parents’ eyes. Even if they have no problem with their poor people skills, they may still feel like they are disappointing their parents and be reluctant to bring the topic into the open or accept the parents’ help.
  • As with most teens, the autistic teen may be particularly unenthused about the idea of accepting help or criticism from his mom or dad. Also, if the teen views his mom or dad as the authoritarian, “impossible-to-please” parent, he will be even less likely to welcome parental assistance.

==> Discipline for Defiant Asperger's and High-Functioning Autistic Teens

In any event, what can parents do to help their socially awkward HFA or AS teen? Here are some tips:

1. Don't give your HFA or AS teen the impression that your opinion of him is conditional on how socially successful he is.

2. Encourage your teen to hang out with peers outside of school or through extracurricular activities (e.g., sports, music, etc.).

3. Encourage your teen to engage in online support groups and chat sites for young people on the autism spectrum. Here’s is a good place to start: www.AspergersTeenChat.com

4. Engage your youngster in an activity or program where there are adult mentors to help him increase his self-esteem and build self-confidence. Research reveals that having just one activity in a youngster’s life where he feels successful will result in a higher sense of self-esteem and a greater ability to negotiate a variety of social situations.

5. If it is painfully obvious that your teen is really suffering due to his social skills deficits (e.g., feels lonely, depressed, suicidal, etc.), you don’t have to sit back and stay completely silent. Bring up the topic once. Odds are good he won't be very open to accepting help. If he isn’t, don't take it personally. That is his choice. In any event, don't keep bringing it up in an attempt to nag him into addressing the issue.

Pick a moment when you have time to speak, and your teen is in a decent mood. Tactfully mention that you've noticed that he seems to be having some trouble with __________ (fill in the blank with the problem in question), and that if there is anything you can do to help, you are there for him. Again, he may deny that there is a problem or want the conversation to be over. But even if he gives that response, you can still lay out some options for him.

==> Discipline for Defiant Asperger's and High-Functioning Autistic Teens

6. If there is a relative or family friend your teen may be more open to talking to, mention that person’s name. Maybe your teen will be more open to chatting with his uncle who he looks up to, for example.

7. If your HFA or AS teen agrees to see a therapist, it's important to be patient and let things play-out between them. A common mistake many moms and dads make is they expect the professional to quickly and cost-effectively “fix” their youngster.

8. Let your teen know that if he ever wants to brainstorm some ideas or hear some suggestions, you are there to help.

9. Parents should not feel that they have “failed” somehow because their “special needs” youngster is awkward, or because they didn't step in earlier. You may be prone to feeling guilty or blaming yourself if your teenager is going through a tough time. The fact is that most HFA and AS teens are simply emotionally immature compared to their “typical” peers. After all, they have a “developmental disorder.”

10. Point your teen to some resources (e.g., books, videos, CDs, etc.) that discuss self-help strategies for people looking to develop interpersonal skills.

11. Reduce ambiguity in your youngster’s life by addressing his concerns and helping him understand what to expect on a daily basis so you can help lessen his anxiety.

12. Tell your teen that if he ever just wants to vent to someone about some social problems he is having, you are more than willing to listen in a non-judgmental way and be his sounding board and/or advocate.

13. Tell your teen that if he ever wants to talk to a therapist or look into a social skills training group, you will help make that happen. Also, point out that you don't view professional help as a big deal, just an option people have if they want some outside advice and support.

14. While the HFA or AS youngster may have some real social weaknesses, in other ways he may be different from the norm in a way that is perfectly valid. Those differences may be tied to social skills deficits, but parents need to distinguish between true deficits and normal variations in personality. For instance, there's nothing wrong with being a bit reserved, being uncomfortable in certain social situations, having a unique hobby, having an odd sense of humor, preferring to spend time alone, etc. Thus, parents should not come across like they are rejecting their teen’s core self.

15. With older teenagers on the autism spectrum, parents don't have a lot of ability to further influence their social development – they are almost adults. However, with younger teens, parents still have the authority to enroll them in a social skills training group or insist they see a counselor. A 13-year-old may not like it, but he still recognizes his mom and dad are allowed to make him go to things. But, if parents try to do that with a 19-year-old, he will likely resist any form of treatment or intervention.

==> Discipline for Defiant Asperger's and High-Functioning Autistic Teens

We have just talked about some things that parents can do to help their socially awkward HFA or AS teen. Next, let’s look a few things to avoid doing:
  • If you have already tried to help your youngster with his social awkwardness, but he shot you down, try to avoid feeling slighted or resentful. Don’t take it personally. He will take a hard look at himself and the changes that may need to happen when the timing is right.
  • If you were socially awkward as a teen, some of your own baggage may come up as you witness your teen struggling. You may frantically want to help him avoid some of the social blunders you made. But, he will need to learn from his own mistakes rather than from yours.
  • Avoid the urge to “force” your teenager to try to improve his social skills, even if his deficits are making him unhappy. 
  • Try to avoid feeling disappointed in your youngster. Maybe you were somewhat popular in school and can't really understand how your teen seems to be having the opposite experience you did. Maybe you always hoped he would be a great trumpet player or football player, and you can't help but roll your eyes when he spends a Sunday afternoon playing “childish” video games in his bedroom (i.e., games that much younger children might play).
  • Don’t fall into the trap of feeling sorry for your HFA or AS teen. It's only natural that you want to make his pain go away, but that attitude often results in over-protective parenting that tends to make a bad problem worse (e.g., doing too much for your teen to the point where he never learns to do things for himself).
  • Try not to get angry with your teen for not realizing he has a problem, or not wanting to do anything about it. True, the problem seems so obvious to you, but your teen doesn’t see things the same way. For instance, he may tell you that it is impossible for him to make friends. His logic and explanations may not make sense to you, but he still seems to believe them.

It takes time for teens on the spectrum to improve their social skills. If your teen does start working through his issues, don't feel like he is dragging his feet or not working hard enough if he doesn't transform over a period of a few weeks. In addition, give him space to change at his own pace. Maybe he will be eager about making some changes for a few months, but then get distracted by other things for a while.

In any event, don't make your teen feel monitored, or that your approval is connected to his rate of progress. For instance, you go to a family cookout and your teen doesn’t feel like mingling with other family members, but you watch him to see if his ability to socialize has improved. As mentioned before, give your HFA or AS teen the impression that you accept him for who he is – unconditionally! Of course, you will be delighted for him and share in his success if he makes some positive changes. But if he doesn't, you're O.K. with that too.




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ASD: Difficulty Identifying and Interpreting Emotional Signals in Others

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