My ASD Child

Disciplining High-Functioning Autistic (HFA) kids and teens can present some unique challenges unfamiliar to moms and dads of neurotypical kids. “Misbehavior” is often not misbehavior at all – rather it is a symptom of the youngster’s diagnosis. So how does a parent know when - and how - to discipline the child with special needs? Here are some tips to help: 1. Employ “attachment parenting” skills. An HFA youngster can bring out the best and the worst in a family. By practicing attachment parenting and getting connected, the whole family can develop a “sixth sense” about the child, a quality of caring that no book or counselor will be able to give you. With all children, attachment parenting is highly desirable, but with an youngster on the autism spectrum, it's necessary and a matter of survival. 2. Avoid the use of negative labels, medical terms, or psychological jargon when talking to your youngster about his behavior. Target the behavior – not the youngster. ...

Becoming a parent of an Aspergers or high functioning autistic (HFA) youngster changes your identity forever. There is a balancing act between (a) caring for the needs of your “special needs” youngster and (b) putting time and effort into the maintenance and growth of yourself and your marriage. The kind of stress that raising a "special needs" youngster often entails can affect relationships at their weakest points. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 47% of first marriages fail and 57% of all marriages end in divorce. Although the findings are inconsistent, there is general consensus among professionals that, while the divorce rates are comparable, there appears to be more reported marital distress among families of kids with special needs. Some areas that will be impacted in your marriage are: Finances Future planning Parenting style Recreation Self-esteem Sexuality Social life Spirituality Moms and dads of kids on the autism spectrum often face a ...

Question How can I get my spouse more involved with our daughter (high functioning)? He is generally supportive, but doesn’t seem willing to learn anything about autism or get involved with our daughter’s treatment. I’m starting to wonder whether he’s ever going to get to know our daughter at all! Answer Unfortunately, you speak for many mothers in your situation. There is a sense of loneliness that many moms experience after the diagnosis. It seems to come from the general trend that males have a hard time facing things they can’t fix. They feel powerless and inept when they can’t simply work harder to fix their youngster’s “disability.” Your spouse probably feels more powerless than you do. The dynamic of a family with a high-functioning autistic (HFA) youngster tends to follow a pattern where the dad focuses on the long-term problems (e.g., financial burdens), while the mom responds more emotionally as she faces the burdens of the daily care of the youngster. By bei...

Question I have an 8-year-old Asperger son. How do you handle when he is bullied and the school administration seems to give you the brush off. My son act-outs when he is under stress or in an unstructured situation. In all of those instances, he gets the detentions. When I call in about his being bullied, nothing is done, or the bully gets spoken to in their classroom, as a sort of blanket discussion. How do I handle this? Answer Bullying is abusive behavior by one or more students against a victim or victims. It can be a direct attack (e.g., teasing, taunting, threatening, stalking, name-calling, hitting, making threats, coercion, stealing, etc.), or something more subtle (e.g., malicious gossiping, spreading rumors, intentional exclusion, etc.). Both result in victims becoming socially rejected and isolated. Unfortunately, many parents have attempted to reconcile such victimization by going to school officials and requesting that something be done – only to be to...

This Week's 2-Minute Tip: Aspergers Children and Intensity-Seeking ==> My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns and Tantrums in Aspergers Children

The autism spectrum extends from “classic autism” (which lies at the lower end of the spectrum) through to Aspergers (which is characterized as being at the mildest and highest functioning end of the spectrum). Aspergers reflects deviations or abnormalities in four aspects of development: 1. Certain behavioral and stylistic characteristics such as repetitive or persevering features 2. Limited, but intense, range of interests 3. Social relatedness and social skills 4. The use of language for purposes of communication These dysfunctional features can range from mild to severe. Aspergers is characterized by: • a better prognosis than other Autism spectrum disorders • difficulties with pragmatic, or social language • extending into the very superior range of cognitive ability • high cognitive abilities - or, at least, “normal” IQ level • normal language function when compared to other autistic disorders Diagnostic Criteria from DSM— Aspergers: ...

Christmas is often filled with stress. There is a lot of pressure to make Christmas perfect and fun, and to enjoy yourself while you're doing it. This is a tall order in any situation, but when you add to that the stress of having a child with special needs for whom you also want the holidays to be perfect and fun – it can often become more overwhelming than ever.   Here are 10 tips to help you have a stress-free Christmas with your Aspergers or high-functioning autistic child: 1. Kids on the autism spectrum will always do better when they are not over-stimulated by the many sights, sounds, smells, and unpredictable events of the outside world. You can create an experience in your home that you normally would go out for. For example, instead of going to an evening parade with a festival of lights, you can put Christmas lights all around your house, turn off all the lights, and play Christmas music at a gentle volume. You may be concerned about depriving your youngster o...