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2011 Seminar on Aspergers (High-Functioning Autism): Transcript of Q & A Session

Question #1: Can you give us just a basic summary of Aspergers for those of us who are not familiar with the disorder?

Generally, Aspergers is understood to involve problems with social skills and relationships, nonverbal communication difficulties, restricted, repetitive behaviors, narrow areas of interest, and adequate development of language skills and intelligence.

Since 1944 when Hans Asperger first wrote of the symptoms he observed, professionals have included different groupings of the following symptoms in their definitions of the condition:

• compulsive adherence to nonfunctional routines
• delayed motor skills
• lack of delay in speech or language comprehension skills
• motor clumsiness
• narrow interest
• nonverbal communication problems
• normal intellectual development
• odd speech
• preference for solitary activities
• preoccupation with parts of objects or nonfunctional aspects of toys, tools, machines, etc.
• problematic peer relationships
• repetitive routines
• restricted interests
• social impairment
• stereotyped behaviors

The following symptoms were required for a DSM-IV diagnosis of Aspergers:

• impaired social interaction
• lack of delay in cognitive skills, age-appropriate adaptive or self-help skills
• lack of significant delay in language skills
• limited, habitual, stereotyped patterns of behavior, activities or areas of interest
• presence of curiosity in the outside world or the environment
• the first two symptoms must lead to problems in social, occupational, or other types of functioning for the individual
• the symptoms are not related to a diagnosis schizophrenia or another pervasive developmental disorder.

These criteria attempt to describe individuals who:

1. Appear to experience a lack of reciprocity in social interactions. This means an individual who does not understand nonverbal communication (e.g., gestures, facial expressions) and, for example, may continue a conversation even though the individual he is talking to is looking at his watch trying to get away. The individual with Aspergers has difficulty recognizing and understanding others’ use of facial expression and gestures during conversation. Their lack of response to this type of communication creates great difficulty for them in social relationships. Similarly, an individual with Aspergers may not use nonverbal communication and may appear expressionless in most conversations or interactions with others.

2. Have an area of special, sometimes obsessive interest. Many times, individuals with Aspergers develop this interest as a way to overcome fear - however this does not always have to be the case. Weather, especially tornadoes and hurricanes, can be fearful or even terrifying. A youngster with Aspergers may develop a preoccupation with weather to cope with this fear. He might watch the Weather Channel continuously, read the weather report in the paper numerous times across the day, or read about different weather phenomena and be able to share details of past storms when the weather worsens. Trains are often a focus of interest for many kids with autism. Video games and computers also appear to be strong interests as the younger kids mature.

3. Have great ability to attend to detail and recall detailed information about their areas of interest. While individuals with Aspergers can amaze others with the amount of detailed information they have stored on certain topics, they often have difficulty using and applying this information constructively. They can experience difficulty recognizing the “big picture”, or recognizing the forest from the trees. The relevancy of the information they know is often limited.

4. Have unusual speech patterns. While individuals with Aspergers may have begun talking at an appropriate age, they often used a rather pedantic, long-winded and sometimes rather concrete or literal style of speaking. Pedantic describes speech that is overly focused on the details of its topic. It is speech that appears to list details about a topic one after the other. In an individual with Aspergers, this type of speech does not appear to be impacted by the environment (such as by the nonverbal cues of others), and therefore seems less conversational and more like a monologue. Individuals with Aspergers often also understand and use words concretely and literally. An example could be when a teacher discussed possible consequences for misbehavior with a student who has Aspergers. The student heard that if he did not complete his homework or class work at any one time, that he would receive a detention. He became very angry over this perceived injustice. He did not understand that the teacher had meant that when she saw a pattern of incomplete work, she would provide the consequence of a detention. With such a concrete way of understanding others, the individual with Aspergers can easily misinterpret others’ intent and respond in an unexpected and possibly inappropriate way.

5. Lack a theory of mind (the ability to understand what another person may be thinking in a given situation). They have difficulty imagining or understanding how someone else’s thoughts, experiences, knowledge, or desires could influence their behavior. This concept has also been called “mind blindness”.

6. Tend to prefer routine, repetitive activities and to avoid and dislike transitions and change. They have been described as often having a “one track mind”. They can have a plan, and if it fails, will continue with it until it does work.

Question #2: How is Aspergers “related” to Autism?

Aspergers and some other disorders are believed to fall along a spectrum. This spectrum has been called the autism spectrum, and also the pervasive developmental disorder spectrum. Whatever it is called, Autistic Disorder (or autism) would fall at one end of the spectrum, while “average” or “neurotypical” functioning would be found at the other end. Aspergers has been conceptualized as a mild, less problematic form of autism that falls between average functioning and autism on this continuum.

This means that kids with autism experience many of the same symptoms as individuals with Aspergers. However, the symptoms of kids with autism are usually more severe and their functioning is much more impaired. For example, while a youngster with Aspergers may have difficulty using language socially, a youngster with autism may be mute. Both Aspergers and Autistic Disorders may involve social rejection, lack of understanding or interest in other individual’s feelings, difficulties interacting with others, some rigidity (instead of flexibility) in play, difficulty using language socially, poor nonverbal communication skills, odd motor behaviors, and narrow interests or abilities.

Question #3: How is Aspergers “different” from Autism?

Autism is the more severe form of problems with social interaction, restricted behaviors and areas of interest, and impaired language skills. For example, while a youngster with Aspergers may have difficulty interacting with others socially and forming friendships, a youngster with autism may often avoid direct eye contact with any individual, dislike physical touch including the experience of hugs or loving touches, and may not develop verbal skills (a more severe expression of impaired social skills). According to the present diagnostic criteria, individuals with autism usually experience significant delay in the acquisition of language skills (e.g., the youngster did not use single words before the age of 2; communicative phrases were not used until after age 3). Cognitive skills are also often impaired. In contrast, individuals with Aspergers should not have experienced delay or impairment in cognitive or language skills.

The differences between autism and Aspergers can be summarized as:

• “visuospatial development” - which means skill at processing and understanding visual, nonverbal information (in some kids with autism this could be a strength, whereas this was never addressed by Asperger)
• cognitive skill (Asperger wrote about kids with normal intelligence; research has demonstrated that the majority of kids with autism are cognitively impaired)
• differences in motor ability (original descriptions of kids with autism did not suggest any motor difficulties, while early descriptions by Asperger did)
• language ability

Others have suggested that while individuals with autism show little interest in peer interaction, individuals with Aspergers often seek such companionship.

Question #4: What is the difference between Aspergers and High Functioning Autism?

Many individuals identified as having high functioning autism (or HFA) had more pronounced symptoms of autism as kids. As they aged, the development of basic social skills, age appropriate cognitive skills, and verbal ability occurred. Tony Attwood, a psychologist who has much experience and expertise in Aspergers, has written that HFA is a phrase that is most often used in the United States and often applies to individuals who qualified for a diagnosis of autism as kids.

Controversy still exists within the literature about the differences between these diagnoses. Some individuals use the terms interchangeably. At this point, differences between the two labels (HFA and Aspergers) have yet to be effectively clarified.

Question #5: How is Aspergers treated?

Different symptoms of Aspergers can be treated with the goal of reducing the problems they create for the youngster or individual. Treatment can include medication management of problems such as anxiety and depression, conditions that often occur as a result of the difficulties experienced by the individual with Aspergers. Medication has also been used to manage the obsessive (recurring, bothersome thoughts) and compulsive traits (behaviors used to get rid of the bothersome thoughts) that can be exhibited. Historically, these individuals have been incorrectly diagnosed with other types of disorders including schizophrenia, personality disorders, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Medications, such as anti-psychotics, have been prescribed. The problem with this approach is that although individuals with Aspergers may experience obsessive thinking, repetitive thoughts or interests, or exhibit unusual social behavior, their symptoms are best reflected by the criteria for Aspergers rather than these other diagnoses.

Behaviorally, interventions targeting skill development tend to be the most common and can be affective at any age. Early intervention with young kids often relies on behavioral principles. Kids are taught new behaviors and rewarded based on their ability to engage in that behavior with increasing frequency. Consequences may also be applied to decrease negative behaviors. Interventions for older kids and teens focus more on educating them about their diagnosis, developing new skills, and providing opportunities to practice those skills. Moms and dads, educators, and / or therapists can all play a role in this process. Often however, there needs to be some intervention at school if a youngster is going to successfully learn new behaviors. Moms and dads need to talk to school staff (educators, administrators) to determine what resources are available for their youngster within the school (such as counselors, special programs, teacher assistance, etc.). Therapy also provides a means of learning new skills. Individual therapy helps address emotional difficulties that may arise as a result of the Aspergers. Social skill training can be a part of this work. Group therapy offers a chance to learn new skills in a setting designed to offer the chance to practice and receive feedback on what is being learned.

Question #6: What is the difference between a “disorder” and the normal range of abilities and personality?

It is important to remember that all behaviors fall along a continuum or spectrum. At one end of the spectrum is “normal” behavior, or abilities, traits, and individual characteristics that are considered appropriate (or typical) on the basis of an individual’s culture, age, gender, etc. At the other end of the spectrum are groups of behaviors that, when exhibited regularly by an individual, create problems for that person in terms of his or her functioning socially, emotionally, or occupationally.

Many individuals have certain eccentricities, including unusual hobbies, anxiety or awkwardness in social situations, or clumsiness. This is considered well within the range of normal behavior. However, when these behaviors coincide, form a pattern across time, and negatively impact an individual’s ability to function, then they are viewed as “clinically significant”, and as requiring diagnosis and treatment.

There is a lot of controversy about the diagnosis of Aspergers. Added to the mix is concern that individuals with poor social skills are being “pathologized”. Put another way, the “loners” are now qualifying for a diagnosis. Our society expects individuals to be social. When they are not do we view them as disabled? Simon Baron-Cohen explored this argument and looked at both sides. He suggested that many of the behaviors associated with Aspergers represent a focus on things rather than on individuals. If placed in a different environment, he believed that Aspergers would not be seen as a “disorder”. He also pointed out that kids with Aspergers tend to meet the majority of developmental milestones on time, and emphasized the typical or “normal” aspect of their development. In contrast, he also discussed two reasons for continuing to consider Aspergers a “disability”: (1) so that individuals with this diagnosis could have access to support at school (possibly through special education services) and within the community (some insurance companies will pay for an individual with Aspergers to get treatment in outpatient therapy); and (2) because lack of empathy (or theory of mind) can create significant problems emotionally for individuals with Aspergers.

Question #7: Do females experience Aspergers differently?

Yes, however far fewer females are diagnosed with Aspergers than males. Earlier, the ratio was believed to be one girl to every ten males was diagnosed with Aspergers. Currently however that ratio is believed to be more in the range of one girl to every four males. As professionals become more familiar with the diagnostic criteria, more females appear to be receiving the Aspergers diagnosis.

Generally, it is believed that females experience a much milder form of the difficulties associated with Aspergers. American society emphasizes and pushes females to develop strong social skills at an early age. This may benefit females with Aspergers by helping them learn compensatory skills or address any deficits earlier in life. Alternatively, it has been suggested that females use different coping strategies when dealing with social situations. Females tend to hide in social situations, and remain on the periphery. This allows them to observe the behaviors of others, and once comfortable with the process, to mimic those behaviors (e.g., facial expressions, gestures, tone of voice). Doll play allows younger females to re-experience social situations, replay them, alter them, and learn from them. Females also often have invisible friends - a safe tool to use when practicing social skills. Among females, Aspergers may express itself more through immaturity. Topics of special interest also may not be as intense as the interests exhibited by males. Females’ areas of special interest seem to be different from those of males. Their preoccupations center more on animals and classical literature. The long-term prognosis for females with Aspergers also seems better than for males, largely because of the females’ ability to hide their difficulties from others over time.

Question #8: What other problems may an individual with Aspergers experience?

A number of difficulties can accompany the behaviors that define Aspergers. As individuals with limited social skills and awareness of others, who tend to have areas of unusual or intense interest, a strong need for routine, and unusual mannerisms, individuals with Aspergers often experience emotional difficulties, including depression, anxiety, and anger. Social interaction and negative feedback from others creates stress. Individuals react differently to such stress. Some individuals internalize distress through the experience of feelings of low self-esteem, hopelessness, helplessness and sadness. Some internalize the distress through feelings of anxiety. Others externalize the distress through angry, aggressive, destructive, or rule-breaking behaviors. These reactions can be triggered by teasing, perceptions of being treated unjustly, frustration and confusion in response to certain situations - many triggers can exist and depend solely on the individual. If any of these additional problems (depression, anxiety, or anger) affect the individual’s ability to function and are pervasive, they may require diagnosis and treatment as well.

Other conditions can also occur with Aspergers, but are not part of the criteria for the Aspergers diagnosis. Problems with attention, concentration, and/or impulsive, distracted, or hyperactive behaviors might suggest a possible diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). The occurrence of motor and verbal tics could suggest problems associated with Tourette’s Disorder. For individuals who experience these problems as well as the difficulties associated with Aspergers, a dual diagnosis may be necessary.

Question #9: What are the advantages and disadvantages of having the label Aspergers?

The advantages tend to be personal and emotional. For moms and dads, the diagnosis and label provides them with a sense of relief. Many moms and dads of kids with Aspergers say that they have known that something was “wrong”, but felt that they could not get “the problem” properly identified. When such difficulties are identified and labeled, moms and dads and individuals are better able to understand the nature of the problems and how to remedy them. By labeling the disorder, it is easier to address any problems that are associated with it, and allows moms and dads and individuals the opportunity to maximize the positive aspects of the disorder. Individuals with Aspergers often have a unique ability to focus, and to catalogue detailed information about their areas of interest. In many situations, these talents can be put to very positive, constructive uses. One only needs to look at the celebrities who some suggest may qualify or may have qualified for an Aspergers diagnosis to realize what talents can be associated with what is called a “disorder”.

Other advantages to “labeling” include providing moms and dads and educators with a way to learn about a youngster’s behaviors. By learning about Aspergers individuals can better understand its implications so that parental, teacher, and community expectations of the individual are realistic, reasonable, and do not require that person to meet standards that are outside his/her range of abilities. Additionally for kids, the diagnosis qualifies the youngster for assistance in the schools as defined by IDEA. This means that the schools are required to provide special accommodations for the youngster’s education. The accommodations need to be tailored to the youngster’s condition so that they help create a learning environment that is best suited to the youngster’s abilities.

Disadvantages associated with the label of Aspergers are similar to the disadvantages associated with any label, and generally refer to individual’s tendency to think in stereotypes. Labeling an individual gives others the ability to “pigeonhole” or make assumptions about the individual based on the diagnosis, or their understanding of the diagnosis. This can lead individuals to make decisions and judgments about the individual based on the diagnosis rather than on the needs and characteristics of that person.

It is always important to remember that no person is a diagnosis, and that no diagnosis is an individual. Aspergers is merely one quality of an individual. That person will have many other traits, characteristics, and aspects of his/her personality. Readers are encouraged to learn about the individual first, then to explore the way the Aspergers diagnosis affects his/her functioning.

Question #10: What is meant by “impaired social interaction”?

Essentially, this means that the individual with Aspergers experiences difficulty developing relationships, responding appropriately, and interacting with others with ease. Certain qualities of human interaction are very difficult for individuals with Aspergers. Individuals communicate with each other through verbal (e.g., speech) as well as nonverbal (e.g., eye-to-eye gaze, gestures, body posture) communication. While verbal ability is often a strength for individuals with Aspergers, nonverbal communication is usually an area of difficulty. Individuals with Aspergers have trouble understanding the nonverbal communication of others. They overlook or don’t recognize the meaning behind another person’s gestures or facial expressions. This means that they frequently miss the cues they are given that an individual wants to leave, is getting bored, or wants to say something herself. The individual with Aspergers can also have difficulty using nonverbal communication, for example: hand gestures do not fit with what is being said, or there is an absence of gesturing or a complete lack of nonverbal communication.

Impaired social interaction also means that an individual has difficulty making and keeping friends. As can be imagined, interacting with someone who does not understand or use nonverbal communication can be unsettling and uncomfortable. As a result, many individuals avoid the individual with Aspergers and relationships do not develop. When friendships do occur, they are usually built on a shared area of interest. That interest is typically the focus of the intense interest and preoccupation of the individual with Aspergers. Maintaining such friendships can be difficult because the individual with Aspergers can be rigid and inflexible regarding the area of interest. In other words, their conversation rarely addresses other topics, and they tend to be the center of any conversation about the topic (leaving the other youngster to listen rather than contribute to a discussion). Because the individual with Aspergers is so focused on this interest, s/he often knows a great deal of detailed information about it. This can often be intimidating to other kids who do not feel as much an “expert”.

Lastly, impaired social interaction also encompasses the distressing social situations that many individuals with Aspergers encounter. The term “playground predator” has often been used to describe kids who appear to purposefully, intentionally, and vindictively single out a youngster with Aspergers for teasing and taunting. Bullies often do pick on kids who are “easy targets” or vulnerable. With their difficulties understanding nonverbal cues, and having limited social support, individuals with Aspergers are often the targets of bullies.

Question #11: What is pedantic speech?

Pedantic describes speech that is overly focused on the details of its topic. It is speech that appears to list details about a topic one after the other. In an individual with Aspergers, this type of speech does not appear to be impacted by the environment (such as by the nonverbal cues of others), and therefore seems less conversational and more like a monologue. This includes the individual’s likely idiosyncratic, or unusual use of words, e.g., a “Hoover for the face” being used for razor, or tendency to make up words to communicate their thoughts. The volume of the individual’s speech may be off - either too loud or too quiet for the environment or situation. The individual with Aspergers may also vocalize his or her thoughts rather than keeping those thoughts to themselves.

Question #12: What is “theory of mind” or “mind blindness”?

It has been suggested that kids with Aspergers (and autism) lack a theory of mind (the ability to understand what another person may be thinking in a given situation). They have difficulty imagining or understanding how someone else’s thoughts, experiences, knowledge, or wishes could influence their behavior. This concept has also been called “mind blindness”.

Question #13: What are “stereotyped behaviors”?

Stereotyped behaviors are those that are repetitive and unvarying. They are behaviors that do not have to serve any apparently useful, constructive purpose, but instead have only personal meaning to the individual with Aspergers. They reflect the individual’s adherence to a routine way of behaving.

Question #14: What are “stim behaviors” and why does the individual with Aspergers do them?

Stim behaviors refer to behaviors that tend to appear in response to an anxiety-provoking situation or experience, they are repetitive, and often times appear unusual or inappropriate socially. Kids with Aspergers often become obsessed with the need for sameness or routine. When changes occur in their environment that deviate from that sameness, anxiety is produced and repetitive, ritualistic behaviors restore some of the sense of “sameness” that was lost. These behaviors are the way the individual with Aspergers copes with change, unpredictability, and anxiety. Attempts by educators, moms and dads, or significant others to stop these behaviors may lead the individual with Aspergers to feel panic, anger, and/or extreme anxiety and can results in extreme behaviors (screaming, temper tantrums) that are often less desirable than the stim behavior. In these instances, it is often best to try to help the individual with Aspergers learn an alternative, more socially acceptable behavior to achieve this same goal.

Question #15: How can I find out if my son has Aspergers?

Currently, awareness of Aspergers appears to be increasing. While this is positive, some confusion continues to exist among professionals about diagnosing the condition. For this reason, it will be important to work with someone who either has some pre-existing knowledge of Aspergers, or who is willing to learn more about it. Physicians, psychologists, therapists, and educators are usually among the first individuals to identify Asperger symptoms. Consulting with a trusted person in any of these fields would likely be a good first step. They can then either help you directly, or can refer you to someone else within the community who can.

Accurate diagnosis often involves testing by the use of questionnaires, check lists, clinical interview, psychological tests and possibly medical examination. Different professions emphasize different means of identification. If you believe you or your youngster may qualify for a diagnosis of Aspergers, or another autism spectrum disorder, taking that first step of contacting a trusted professional will be very important.

Question #16: When is it good to look for help for my Aspergers child?

The earlier the better... interventions targeted at young kids can help them learn social skills and ways of interacting with others that will help them avoid the social difficulties (such as teasing, bullying, social rejection and isolation, and social anxiety) that affects older kids, teens, and grown-ups with the disorder. Alternatively, older kids and grown-ups can benefit tremendously from learning about the disorder, and ways to address its negative aspects while maximizing its positive side. The key is to seek help. Without knowledge of the disorder and proper diagnosis, many individuals can continue to experience difficulties that can affect them for a lifetime.

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook

Helping Aspergers and HFA Children Develop Nonverbal Communication Skills

Question

"My son doesn’t seem to understand others’ nonverbal messages, and he isn’t very good at sending clear nonverbal messages either. Are there ways to teach nonverbal communication?"

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==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

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Helping Aspergers Children Adjust to the School Environment

Many – if not most – Aspergers (high functioning autistic) kids have significant problems adjusting to the school environment. Although some begin to struggle as early as preschool, almost all will encounter some degree of difficulty by the upper elementary school grades. Here is how moms and dads can help:

1. As your youngster's advocate you have a never-ending job! There is always so much to teach and so much to do. Usually, the school year is stressful- not only for the kids with Aspergers, but their moms and dads as well. Remember, you have to make some effort to take care of your own needs, if you plan to have the time and energy to attend to the needs of others.

2. Establish "homework" routines by helping your youngster get into the habit of doing quiet activities at a specific time and place every day. This could be time for reviewing previously mastered skills, doing silent reading, journal writing, crossword puzzles and similar activities before school begins. Do be careful that this is not a time to have your youngster engage in his most preferred activities, as it is designed to set the stage for homework during the school year.

3. Recognize that the week prior to the start of school is an extremely busy time. You may be able to arrange for the team to meet for one hour and arrange for follow-up meetings at the beginning of the school year. The most helpful information will include simple suggestions to assist educators in reducing your youngster's anxiety. Educators do not need to become an "expert" on Aspergers before your youngster walks into their classroom. If a meeting is not going to be possible, prepare a one page synopsis about your youngster for the teacher. This may include:
  • Suggestions to reduce anxiety
  • Stress Triggers
  • Stress Signs
  • Strengths and interests and how the teacher can use them to orchestrate successful experiences
  • Challenges that may not be obvious

4. If your youngster will be attending a new school, see if it's is possible to visit the school several times over the summer. Perhaps your youngster can be provided with opportunities to become acquainted with some of the staff at school as well. The more familiar the child is with all aspects of the environment, the more comfortable she will be. If your youngster will be returning to the same school, you may not need as extensive an orientation. However, it may still be beneficial to meet her new teacher and to see the classroom. One parent indicated that she purchases the school yearbook to acquaint her youngster with the building, pictures and names of key school personnel, as well as information regarding available extracurricular activities.

5. If your school requires school uniforms, you may need to give your youngster time to get used to wearing the uniform. In some cases, it may be helpful to wash the uniform several times with fabric softener to lessen the "sensory" challenges. Plan to have your youngster wear his uniform for gradually longer periods of time, over the course of several days prior to the start of school. If your school doesn't have uniforms, it is still possible that "appropriate attire" for school may be different than what your youngster chooses to wear during the summer. Have your youngster practice wearing appropriate school attire before the first day of school. If your youngster will be attending a new school and you're not sure what children wear, it's a good idea to ask - so you can help your youngster learn to wear clothing that will be considered "ok" by peers.

6. Make friendly overtures with school personnel to set the stage for a collaborative relationship. When you stop by the school during the summer, consider bringing cookies for all staff working in the front office. Bet yet, when your youngster accompanies you, let your youngster practice the social skill of offering items to others. Remember, in general, school personnel are overworked and under-appreciated! From the very beginning, look for opportunities to show appreciation and support to all school personnel who go out of their way to help your youngster be successful. Some suggestions include:
  • donations of useful items for the classroom
  • gift certificates to stores
  • hosting teacher appreciation lunches or dinners
  • letters of support sent to their supervisor
  • occasional treats (homemade or bought)
  • paid attendance at conference
  • volunteering to help with various projects at school

7. Many children with Aspergers have difficulty adjusting to new routines. Therefore, in the weeks prior to the beginning of school it is helpful to gradually move into the schedule that is necessary during the school year. This might mean shifting bed time to the time your youngster will need to go to sleep during the school year. You may also focus on helping your youngster becomes accustomed to waking up earlier in the morning. For many kids, it is important that they also reestablish morning routines. This may reduce some of the "challenging mornings" many moms and dads report in getting their youngster ready for school.

8. Plan on using external motivational systems in order to be able to implement these changes. Children with Aspergers rarely see "our agenda" as necessary or important. This can often involve the use of activities/items we often give away freely (e.g., watching TV shows, playing favorite games, errand to favorite store, points/tokens exchangeable for something your youngster wants). Remember, the key to motivation is that the reinforcer must be powerful and immediate!

9. The development of all positive social relationships will be helpful for your youngster. Prior to the start of school, you will want to try and target one or two kids who will attend school with your youngster: Usually, successful social experiences are easiest to structure with one youngster at a time, rather than a group. Sometimes, moms and dads experience more success if they establish a relationship with the parent of a "tolerant" peer and enlist the support of the parent (and the student) in serving as a "peer buddy".

10. You will want to remain in close contact with school personnel to identify problems early on in the school year. In particular, you will want to monitor supports/problems in all unstructured situations, monitor your youngster's stress signals, monitor for teasing and bullying and communicate frequently about homework assignments.

Student Orientation—

Provide a walk-through of the Aspergers child's daily schedule. In schools where the schedule changes from day to day, the child should have the opportunity to practice all possible schedules. If applicable, student "buddies" should be available to walk through the schedule with the Aspergers child. The following are suggestions for the walk-through:
  1. Meet all educators and relevant school personnel.
  2. Obtain information about school routines and rules (e.g., lunch, going to the bathroom, before/after school, transportation).
  3. Practice route(s) from various classes to the bathroom, counselor's office, home base, etc.
  4. Practice routines such as finding homeroom from the bus stop, opening locker, going through the cafeteria line, etc.
  5. Practice use of transition to home base through role-play.
  6. Provide instruction on the procedure for seeking out the safe person and home base.
  7. Provide the child the pictures and names of all additional personnel, such as cafeteria workers, school nurse, etc.
  8. Provide the child with pictures and names of all educators in advance of orientation.
  9. Provide the child with pictures and names of student "buddies."
  10. Provide visual/written class schedule(s) for the child.
  11. Show the child where her assigned seat in each classroom will be.
  12. Videotape a walk-through school schedule for the child to review at home.   
 
 
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==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

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Do you need the advice of a professional who specializes in parenting children and teens with Autism Spectrum Disorders?  Sign-up for Online Parent Coaching today.

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Helping Aspergers and HFA Children Get to Sleep

Nearly 70 percent of Aspergers and High-Functioning Autistic (HFA) children under age 10 experience some type of sleep problem. And although “sleep needs” naturally decrease by about 15 minutes on average every year (1-year-olds require almost 14 hours daily, while a 17-year-old needs at least 8.25 hours), a startling 80 percent of Aspergers and HFA children ages 11 to 17 get less than the recommended amount. Some these kids may have chronic sleep difficulties, and many are actually going through their days sleep-deprived.

Does your child:
  • get out of bed over and over until you are both exhausted and your child is crying
  • demand that you lie down with her and stay there until she falls asleep
  • call to you after you have already read 3 stories, checked for monsters, lined up the stuffed animals, and made sure that the door was ajar in exactly the correct position to your child’s specifications
Do you:
  • wake up in your own bed and notice the extra body sleeping peaceful beside you
  • try to sneak out of your child’s bedroom, but he wakes up and demands that you return
  • find yourself drifting off and waking up two hours later in your child’s bed
If any of this sounds familiar, then you are probably waking up exhausted in the morning, dragging yourself through your day, and dreading this evening when it all starts again.

Help your youngster get better rest by trying out one or more of the following strategies:

1. About fifteen minutes before bedtime, and again five minutes before, remind your youngster that bedtime is coming soon. It's hard for kids to stop doing something they enjoy, and a reminder gives them time to finish what they're doing and to get ready to "switch gears" for actual bedtime routines. Some people find it helpful to use neutral timekeepers like clocks or a timer to help kids see when it’s time for bed.

2. The key to getting a youngster to bed easily is helping them to relax before bed time arrives. Not only is bath time necessary to prepare your youngster for the next day, it also helps by slowing them down into the right frame of mind needed to fall asleep. A warm bath or shower is very comforting and also helps to relax the body, making focusing the youngster on calming down before bed much easier.

3. Bedtime starts long before kids are in bed. In fact, kids are far more ready for bedtime if they have "winding down" time with some calm, relaxing activities. It's wise to avoid television programs that might make your kids excited or feel they need rough and tumble play. If you offer an evening snack, keep away from foods with caffeine, like colas and chocolate which are stimulants and could keep your youngster awake. Better to give fruit, pretzels, or cookies and a little milk.

4. Clean up before bed. Kids often make random messes during their playtime and it is very helpful to the parents to have them put their things away before bed. Children picking up their own things give the parents the ability to spend more time focused on their kids. You are also reinforcing a great habit while your kids are young. The less a parent or caregiver has to be responsible for, the less stress they will have.

5. Consider using the supplement Melatonin. More than two dozen studies have shown that melatonin helps children who have insomnia, and it has few or no side effects. The U.S. Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality in 2005 concluded that melatonin supplements are safe. Children with Aspergers and Autism are often given this supplement because their bodies either don't produce melatonin – or do so only erratically. This is not a treatment for the healthy child who just doesn't want to go to bed or the child with occasional trouble falling asleep. Melatonin is most beneficial for children who suffer brain injuries in which the brain no longer produces enough melatonin. About 15% of pediatricians recommend melatonin to help kids who have insomnia.

6. Create a buffer time to lower down the activity level for an hour or so before bedtime. Find quieter activities such as coloring, reading or playing quietly.

7. Decrease television time and increase your youngster's activities and exercise levels during the day.

8. Eliminate caffeine from your youngster’s diet. Cola drinks and chocolate have significant caffeine.

9. Encourage your kids to find ways to comfort themselves-- maybe holding a stuffed animal, making up a story or imagining a pleasant "dream."

10. Find a balance between being comforting and being firm about the rules. If you've set a rule of "one small drink of water" or "two books," kindly remind your youngster of the rule and then stick to it.

11. Have a bedtime snack. This does not need to be a big deal. It is just a little food to help them tide themselves over to morning and breakfast, which is a long time away. A cheese stick or a small glass of milk and a slice of bread or a handful of crackers is all it takes. Cooking is not required. Sweets are probably not a good idea for many reasons. Having a little something in their stomach before bedtime makes them more comfortable and less likely to sleep lightly or have trouble getting to sleep in the first place.

12. If you feel comfortable about it, you may want to leave on a night light or decorate your youngster's bedroom walls or ceiling with glow-in-the-dark stickers. Having a bit of light reminds kids that there is still light somewhere and that before long, the daylight will come again.

13. If your youngster has had a nightmare, you can assure your youngster that a dream is only a dream, and a dream can’t hurt anybody.

14. Let your youngster know that it's okay if he or she doesn't fall asleep right away, but that it's important to stay in bed.

15. Let your kids know that you understand how disappointed they can get when they have to stop playing and get ready for bed. Just knowing that parents care about their feelings can help kids manage better.

16. Set a bed time. Being consistent is the most important rule with kids. You will find that deciding on a specific bed time and sticking to it will greatly reduce the struggle to get children to bed. When deciding on the time, make sure to consider the different aspects of the youngster’s needs. A youngster needs 10 to 11 hours of sleep to function well during the day. Most kids do not fall asleep right away, so make sure to account for that factor in determining the bed time.

17. Some families find it helpful to leave the bedroom door open a bit, so kids can hear some familiar sounds of the household as they try to fall asleep. If kids do get out of bed, it's best to walk them back to their rooms. Kids need to know their own beds and bedrooms are safe places.

18. Some families put a sticker on a calendar each morning after their youngster was able to stay in bed all night. There may not be many stickers to begin with, but seeing them increase over time can let kids realize that they've been able to manage something that once had been hard for them.

19. Spend ten minutes cuddling with your youngster. This will build a sense of love and security as well as provide a time to calm down.

20. Try to make bedtime the same time each night. Kids understand what's expected of them when they have a routine that's predictable.

21. Tuck them into bed. One method for settling a youngster into bed is the bedtime story. After the children are in their pajamas, tuck them comfortably into their blankets. You can either read to them or tell them a story, making it up as you go. Listening to your voice will help the youngster relax and get comfortable. There are also other options including bed time songs, rhymes and prayers that will help the youngster feel safe and at rest as they get settled down for the night.

22. Use lavender or other aromas in your youngster's room. The scent may help to calm your youngster.

23. Use relaxation tapes as background noise for your youngster when falling asleep. There are many varieties available including nature sounds and calming music. Kids with ADHD often find "white noise" to be calming. You can create white noise by putting a radio on static or running an electric fan.

24. Your youngster might find it comforting to have something of yours to keep through the night, like a glove or a small scarf. Those personal things can help your youngster feel connected with you, even though you're not right there.

25. Give your youngster choices. Some families find their kids are more willing to go through a bedtime routine if they have some control over what particular things they do. Of course there are some things, like bathing and teeth brushing, that need to be part of every healthy family’s “routine.” 

Here is a list of some other rituals you may want to consider:
  • give hugs
  • listen to quiet music
  • read books or tell stories
  • say goodnight to things in the room
  • say prayers
  • sing quiet songs
  • spend time cuddling
  • talk about what happened today
  • talk about what's ahead for tomorrow

More resources for parents of children and teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism:

==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism


Comments:

Anonymous said... The strategies mentioned by to for good sleep of our Aspergers child are really fantastic. But to Eliminate caffeine from our youngster’s diet is the most important one I think. Cola drinks and chocolate must be avoided.
Anonymous said...My 10 year old still has problems. I have tried everything and he still won't go to sleep without one of us in bed with him until he falls asleep. This is the only time we get to ourselves, and it is not happening. I feel frustrated as I he follows me all the time and the only break I get is when he is asleep!
Anonymous said...My 8 year-old son with aspergers still has issues at bedtime. He insists me or his dad lay down with him until he goes to sleep because he's "lonely". He has a radio and favorite stuffed toys but they are no substitute. We have tried to ween him from this but no luck. Lots of crying and anxiety at bedtime. He ends up going to sleep after 10pm and he's hard to wake up for school. Any suggestions on how to remedy this?
Anonymous said...My daughter is like this too.....and, refuses to do quiet time
Anonymous said...My now 11yr old son with aspergers has had problems sleeping in cycles since an infant. Until recently we had quite a long time where if we managed to get him to sleep, he would stay asleep all night. Six months ago we moved and I suddenly had a very content child during the day and an extremely desperate and paranoid child at night. He has begun waking and coming in to us or sneaking into his sisters and sleeping on their floor. It has caused several problems and some nights becomes quite distressing for both my husband and I and all five children. Things have improved from the 40+times he was waking but is still an issue. At one point he was so sleep deprived that our gp recommended that we use a sedative at night for a week or so to regulate his body clock. We reluctantly gave it a go out of sheer desperation but unfortunately it was a very temporary solution. Bribes haven't worked and neither has reassurance, consequences, and all of the strategies above except the melatonin as this is the first I have heard of it. Has anyone had success with any other ideas?
Anonymous said...No issues going to bed but waking up between 3-5 every day... any tips on this? Thanks. X

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Helping Aspergers and HFA Children Deal with Disappointments

"How can I help my 14-year-old child with high functioning autism to handle disappointments? Almost on a daily basis, he feels mistreated by one of his friends, or something at school doesn’t go just right, or he gets into trouble here at home and receives an undesirable consequence. I don’t want to send him into a depression – but at the same time, I want him to be more resilient and responsible. Also, I’ve heard you talk about how we, as parents of autistic children, tend to be over-protective – and the damage that we do as a result of this kind of parenting. Is there some way I can help him without being over-protective?"

Click here for the answer...

Aspergers and Speech Difficulties

Approximately 50% of kids with Aspergers have delayed speech. While many kids grow out of this by age five, others go on to experience other language difficulties. These generally fall into one or more of the following three areas of linguistics:

1. Pragmatics—

Pragmatics refers to language usage and the way that context relates to meaning. Kids with Aspergers often have difficulty in holding a normal conversation where there is give and take and social interaction. While most people learn these skills by observing others, those with Aspergers may need personal coaching. Problems with pragmatics manifest in the following forms:
  • does not allow the other person to talk
  • does not use people’s names
  • focuses exclusively on topics that interest them
  • gives too much detailed information
  • interrupting others
  • lack of facial expression and eye contact
  • lack of greeting
  • oblivious to boredom in others
  • oblivious to emotional reactions in others

2. Semantics—

Semantics is defined as the meaning or interpretation of a word, sentence, or other language form. While many children with Aspergers are extremely intelligent and avid readers, they often struggle in this particular area. They may have problems with the following:
  • difficulty in understanding jokes
  • difficulty in understanding metaphors and figures of speech
  • interpreting everything literally
  • pedantic speech
  • problems with understanding teasing
  • sarcasm is not understood

3. Prosody—

Prosody refers to the tonal and rhythmic aspects of speech. Kids with Aspergers often have a strange manner of speaking. It may come across with words enunciated precisely and formally and the speed, volume and rhythm may be odd. Problem areas to look out for include the following:
  • difficulties in coordinating speaking and breathing
  • little or no inflection
  • monotonous sound
  • stilted or formal speech
  • strange rhythms of speech
  • talking loudly

How Parents Can Help

Aspergers kids with language problems can benefit from one-on-one training with a parent or speech therapist. The problems are often tackled individually and it takes perseverance and repetition to see lasting results. Methods vary but could include the following:
  • practicing eye contact and body language
  • practicing normal pronunciation and inflection
  • teaching how to start a conversation
  • training them not to interrupt
  • use of pictures to explain figures of speech

It is never too late to seek help for speech difficulties. The key to success is often a commitment from a parent to work with the youngster for extended periods of time. Here’s how:

1. Don't force your Aspergers youngster to speak correctly and accurately at all times. Allow him to be a kid when you are not helping him with his speech trouble. Keeping on him constantly about speaking appropriately will frustrate and anger him.

2. Catch your child speaking properly and accuse her of being successful. When parents praise a youngster – even for the littlest things – it helps to build her self-esteem and makes her want to try harder to do something. Help your youngster to keep practicing her speech by telling her what a great job she is doing at sounding out words and learning her phonics. When your youngster gets a word down well, write that word down and post it somewhere such as the refrigerator. Then she can see it daily and know what a good job she has done.

3. Have your youngster evaluated by a speech therapist. Your youngster may need more help with his speech than you or any other family can offer. Whether your youngster is delaying in learning words, has trouble sounding words out, or even stutters, a speech therapist can come up with strategies to make speech easier on your youngster and help him to grow his speech skills. Also, a speech therapist can help your youngster deal with the frustrations of his speech trouble. Since a speech therapist has so much experience, she can offer ideas and exercises for relaxing your youngster and helping him stay on track to better speaking.

4. Help your youngster sound out words by encouraging him to take his time with speech. Many kids get frustrated and tire of trying to do something that is tough for them. Most have a small attention span and want to quit doing things after a few minutes of trying. Help your youngster to relax and take time in practicing his speech. Let him know that things that are worth doing well take time and practice and that he'll get it if he just stays calm and focused. Sound the words out with him slowly so that your youngster gets the importance of relaxing when practicing his speech. If you, the parent, are calm, your youngster will be as well.

5. Promote confidence in your youngster to help him deal with the social ramifications of a speech problem. Unfortunately, children can be mean, and your youngster may encounter these cruel children who will make fun of his speech trouble. Your youngster may have a difficult time dealing with this type of bullying treatment and end up not wanting to go to school, be around other children, or even leave the house. Help your youngster to feel good about himself by letting him know all his good qualities. Make a list of things your youngster does well or characteristics he possesses. Give him the list and let him see how amazing he is. Tell him to let you know immediately if any youngster picks on him for his speech trouble. Let your youngster know that this is bullying, and if it happens in school, he needs to tell his teachers.

6. Your youngster needs to see speaking as fun and enjoyable, not a task. Let him talk freely during times when you are not working on his speech with him. Chances are, you'll find him correcting himself – and that's the greatest way to instill confidence in him...allowing him to do it himself.

7. Practice, practice, and then practice some more.

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook

Managing Aspergers Meltdowns: Tips for Parents

Sometimes, little emotions are not so little with Aspergers (high functioning autism) children. All of us struggle with emotions – and all of us "lose it" from time to time; however, it's helpful to understand why Aspergers kids may be susceptible to being “driven along” by emotions, rather than being “in charge” of their emotions.

Possible Causes of Meltdowns—

1. Long Term Stress— Combine long term stressors of sensory overload and social challenges, along with all the regular hassles that make up daily living, it's not surprising that Aspergers children may "lose it" over seemingly small situations. As a parent of this child, you may feel bewildered at the intensity of the meltdown.

2. Sensory Overload— Some children with Aspergers are affected by noise, others are affected by smells, textures or lights. It can be any number of things, but too many sensory inputs can lead to meltdowns or shutdowns. It can all happen when the senses get into a major traffic jam.

3. Social Challenges—I was once a tourist in Columbia. The streets did not have signs, and I didn't understand what people were saying. Needless to say, it was stressful. Yet this is what Aspergers kids may go through on a regular basis. Of course, each child is unique, so he may experience more or less of this social confusion, but the stress can take its toll over the course of the day. Too much stress – and the boiling point can be reached.

4. More Stress— If over time an Aspergers child feels that meltdowns are inevitable, random, and uncontrollable, she can feel somewhat stressed out! Imagine not knowing when you will lose it next, or what the consequences may be.

What Can Be Done? 

Here are a few suggestions. Some will work, some won’t. Just as the senses can be bombarded, now your child can use them to self-soothe:

1. Hearing— Have you Aspergers child listen to some beautiful and soothing music. Consider purchasing some meditation CD's. Consider buying CD's with sounds of nature. He may savor the sounds and let them calm him down.

2. Smell— Buy some potpourri or a scented candle and put it in your child’s room. She may enjoy the smells, savor them, and let them calm her down.

3. Taste— Notice what your child’s favorite foods are. Keep some of his favorite foods on hand in small portions. He may really savor the taste, and let it soothe his restlessness.

4. Touch—Massage your child’s shoulders, or go for a walk with him. Maybe he would enjoy lifting weights, martial arts, a warm bath or soft clothes. He may let the touch soothe him and take away his stress.

5. Vision— Buy a beautiful painting or flower. Design a beautiful space in one of the rooms in your house. Light a candle, and watch it quietly with your Aspergers child. Go out in the middle of the night and watch the stars. Be creative. You know best what sights your child will most enjoy. She might notice them, take them in slowly, and let their beauty calm her down.

Tell your child to think of his emotions as wild horses. Untamed, they can wreak havoc. But, once understood and worked with, they can be of great service and power to your Aspergers child.

My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns

The Challenges Faced by Teenagers with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

As the incidence of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) continues to rise, it has become increasingly important to understand the challenges face...