My ASD Child

Does your “adult-child” with Aspergers (high functioning autism) often resist your guidance? As the parent of an adult child with Aspergers, you may have discovered that as he gets older and feels the need to assert his independence, it may be harder and harder to take advice from you. This is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s important for our older children to learn to solve their own problems. Especially as they become our adult children. Still, it’s tough to see the effectiveness of, “Because I said so,” recede into the distance. If you see a continuing need to be involved in your child’s life as he grows into an adult, you may need to acknowledge that he is becoming his own person, and find appropriate ways to influence his decisions. This can be a real challenge. Individuals with Aspergers often have trouble with subtle distinctions. They may think, “Adults are independent. Being independent means making my own decisions. If I take my mother’s advice, I’m not ac...

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with Aspergers face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do." Parents face issues such as college preparation, vocational training, teaching independent living, and providing lifetime financial support for their child, if necessary. Meanwhile, their immature Aspergers teenager is often indifferent – and even hostile – to these concerns. As you were raising your child, you imagined how he would be when he grew up. Maybe you envisioned him going to college, learning a skilled traded, getting a good job, or beginning his own family. But now that (once clear) vision may be dashed. You may be grieving the loss of the...

Question Can you help me with behavior management for teenagers with Aspergers Syndrome in mainstream school (e.g., interrupting, joking, attention seeking)? Answer Social boundaries are not always understood by teenagers with Aspergers (high-functioning autism). Teens as a whole may have difficulty with these concepts; however, the teen with Aspergers may have a tougher time understanding how his behavior is disruptive or unacceptable. Teenagers with Aspergers struggle to understand how to control their feelings. Anger, stress, anxiety, and frustration can build quickly. This can cause inappropriate behaviors as the teenager strains to maintain control. Other times the teenager may act improperly without realizing what has happened. Here are some commonly used treatment options: • Individual counseling— Much like Cognitive-behavioral therapy, a trained professional counselor will attempt to develop a relationship with the teen with Aspergers. Teens can ben...

Language seems to develop on time in children with Aspergers (high functioning autism), but words, while formulated according to the rules, seem to lack functional effectiveness, because they most often are used to express immediate needs or to expound on the child’s favorite subjects. The child with Aspergers seems not to see the main idea or the pivotal point. They tend to have problems with abstraction, inference, or practical, functional language. And their semantic understanding is limited, which frequently shows up in tests and instructional measures of listening comprehension. Instead of delaying language development, Aspergers impairs the subtleties of social communication. Aspergers children have difficulty understanding nuances such as irony, sarcasm and fanciful or metaphoric language. Many Aspergers children take language literally. Expressions such as “watching paint dry,” or “smart as a tack” leave these children very confused. Children with Aspergers are of...

Question My question is my 13 yr old Asperger daughter does not pay attention to what is going on around her. Like if something looks dangerous, she doesn't seem to mind…. does not really pay attention crossing road or in parking lots, gets in trouble at school for doodling rather than listening, and so on. Is this part of Aspergers? Answer In the past, kids with Asperger Syndrome (now called high functioning autism) would sometimes get an ADHD diagnosis when they just couldn't focus in school. Today, we know a lot more about the differences between Aspergers and ADHD. Still, there are many similarities that can be difficult even for therapists to straighten out. Theoretically, the distinction is easy enough. Asperger Syndrome is a part of the Autistic spectrum with emotional, social and possible verbal/motor impairments. ADHD and others may also have social components, but they're executive function disorders that usually go away as the youngster grow...

Question My Aspergers son spends all his time collecting and ruminating over his baseball cards. That’s ALL he talks about, all day long: baseball trivia (names of teams, names of players, player stats, and on and on...). Is this Aspergers related behavior, and how can I get him to broaden his interests? Answer Rituals and obsessions are one of the hallmarks of Aspergers (high functioning autism) and other Autistic Spectrum Disorders. In order to cope with the anxieties and stresses about the chaotic world around them, children often obsess and ritualize their behaviors to comfort themselves. While some children may spend their time intensely studying one area, others may be compulsive about cleaning, lining up items, or even doing things which put them or others in danger. Based on data from psychological testing, it is likely that the memory of the youngster with Aspergers may not be better than others in general, but the huge collection of facts he knows probabl...

Question My 10-year-old son with Aspergers has a variety of stereotypical behaviors (e.g., he flaps his arms, hops, makes some odd writhing movements). They get worse when he is excited or over-stimulated. At age 10, these behaviors are really sticking-out and can be quite annoying and embarrassing to the rest of the family when we are out with him, in particular his older sister. Do you have any suggestions of what to do about it? Answer Almost all kids with any form of autism tend to repeat behaviors, an action referred to as stereotypic behaviors or perseveration. Your youngster may stare at objects or repeat behaviors that seem to have no purpose for hours at a time. This can be seen in the “flapping” of your child’s hands or other circumscribed, repeated movements, even those that are self-injurious or destructive to others or property. In kids with Aspergers (high-functioning autism), these stereotypic behaviors may diminish and give way to obsessive interests, ...