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ASD Kids & Meltdowns: 5 Critical Tips for Parents

Kids with ASD level 1 the world over share a common trait: meltdowns (also known as a tantrum, a birko, a go-off or spack-attack).

The visible symptoms of a meltdown are as varied as the kids themselves, but every parent is able to describe their youngster’s meltdown behavior in intricate detail.

Meltdowns can be short lived, or last as long as two hours. They can be as infrequent as once a month (often coinciding with the lunar cycle/full moon) or occur as frequently as 4-6 times a day. Whatever the frequency and duration, an Aspergers youngster having a meltdown is difficult for parents and teachers to deal with.

Meltdowns in these young people are triggered by a response to their environment. These responses can be caused by avoidance desire, anxiety or sensory overload. Triggers need to be recognized and identified.

So how do we deal with a meltdown? What should you do when one occurs?

A parent's (or teacher's) behavior can influence a meltdown’s duration and intensity, so always check your response first:
  1. Slow down
  2. Quiet down
  3. Prioritize safety
  4. Calm down
  5. Re-establish self-control in the youngster, and deal with the issue

So as you see, the first four steps in the effective management of meltdowns involves YOU, the adult. Let's look at each of these steps in turn:

1. Slow down. Meltdowns often occur at the most inconvenient time (e.g., rushing out the door to school). The extra pressure the "fear of being late" creates adds to the stress of the situation. Kids with ASD respond to referred mood and will pick up on your stress. This stress is then added to their own. So forget the clock and focus on the situation. Make sure the significant people in your life know your priorities here. Let your boss know that your youngster has meltdowns that have the capacity to bring life to a standstill, and you may be late. Let your youngster’s teacher know that if your youngster is late due to a meltdown, it’s unavoidable and your youngster shouldn’t be reprimanded for it.

2. Keep your speaking voice quiet and your tone neutrally pleasant. Don’t speak unnecessarily. Less is best. Don’t be “baited” into an argument. Often times, Aspergers kids seem to “want” to fight. They know how to “push your buttons,” so don’t be side-tracked from the meltdown issue.

3. Prioritize safety when your youngster is having a meltdown. Understand that he can be extremely impulsive and irrational at this time. Don’t presume that the safety rules he knows will be utilized while he is melting down. Just because your youngster knows not to go near the street when he is calm doesn’t mean he won’t run straight into 4 lanes of traffic when he is having a meltdown. If your youngster starts melting down when you’re driving in the car, pull over and stop. If your youngster tends to “flee” when melting down, don’t chase him. This just adds more danger to the situation. Tail him at a safe distance (maintaining visual contact) if necessary.

4. Take 3 slow, deep breaths, and rather than dreading the meltdown that’s about to take place, assure yourself that you’ve survived meltdowns 100 times before and will do so this time too.

5. When your ASD child is calm and has regained self-control, he will often be exhausted. Keep that in mind as you work through the meltdown issue. Reinforce to your youngster the appropriate way to express his needs and wants.

Remember that all behavior is a form of communication, so try to work out the message your son or daughter is trying to convey with his meltdown rather than responding and reacting to the behavior displayed.


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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  COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said... Good article
•    Anonymous said... Gotta love those meltdowns ;)
•    Anonymous said... It's double trouble when they reach their teens as my son is 17. Good luck everyone x
•    Anonymous said... Very helpful, thanks!
•    Anonymous said... Very validating as this is usually what I do.

More comments:
  • Jane said... Thanks for these tips! It never ceases to amaze me how my son can go through an entire morning of getting ready for school, seemingly fine, then at the last second (could be triggered by having a sibling go out to the bus stop first) have a total meltdown! It is times like that when he runs off and I want to scream. Thanks for the reminder of what to do and not to do!
  • Mom With Bipolar said...I really like this post. "so try to work out the ‘message’ your Aspergers youngster is trying to convey with their meltdown, rather than responding and reacting to the behavior displayed" This is so important! Thanks.
  • Jackie said...Good suggestions here. I was reading this as we were re-cooperating from a meltdown over it being the wrong time to cook biscuits. Things have calmed and I enjoyed my biscuits and strawberry jam for brunch.
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Autism Meltdown-Management 101: Key Points for Parents and Teachers

A meltdown is a condition where the youngster with Aspergers or High Functioning Autism temporarily loses control due to emotional responses to environmental factors. It generally appears that the youngster has lost control over a single and specific issue, however this is very rarely the case. Usually, the problem is the accumulation of a number of irritations which could span a fairly long period of time, particularly given the strong long-term memory abilities of young people on the autism spectrum.

CLICK HERE for full article...

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Asperger's Teens and Homework-Related Meltdowns: Tips for Frustrated Parents

“My 14 yr. old daughter with ASD basically refuses to do her homework. It’s a daily struggle that results in meltdown. Desperate ...please help! Any advice will be greatly appreciated.”

==> Click here for the answer...
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Preventing Meltdowns in Students on the Autism Spectrum: Tips for Teachers

"Do you have any simple, 'cut-to-the-chase' advice I could share with my son's teacher (who seems to know very little about how to handle students on the autism spectrum who 'meltdown')?"

CLICK HERE FOR THE ANSWER


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Aspergers and Diet

Question
My son only wants specific foods. How do I ensure a healthy diet for him?
Answer
Children with Asperger’s commonly have difficulty when it comes to eating a variety of foods. Textures and smells play a part due to the sensory issues they experience. In addition, having too many choices goes against what is comfortable for these kids. Finding a balance will take work and special accommodation.
Kids with Asperger’s have sensory issues that may prevent him from registering the feelings of hunger. Therefore, you can’t rely on your child’s hunger to motivate him to eat. Eliminating the foods he loves will create a true battle.
When you begin your attempts to alter your child’s diet, do so quietly. The less fuss, the less likely it will become a bigger deal than it already is. And keep trying. Success may come slowly, but the ultimate goal is improving your child’s diet. Every little victory will bring you one step closer to the desired result.
The most common trick to entice your child with Asperger’s to eat is to change the presentation. Altering the form of a food may work. If your child likes the flavor of strawberries, for instance, but cannot handle the texture, you could toss them in the blender with some yogurt and try giving him a strawberry smoothie.
Another trick you can try is the element of disguise. Many vegetables can be pureed and added to favorites without changing the taste of the texture of the food. One example is adding pureed vegetables to meatloaf or spaghetti sauce. The taste is overpowered by the favored food and the puree blends in undetected. This is sneaky, but a great way to meet the goal of a healthy, balanced diet.
Finally, create a meal/snack routine or schedule. This will appeal to your child’s need for order and structure. Eventually you’ll be able to introduce new foods without being sneaky. He’ll know that mealtime is approaching and he will be expected to try the foods you have prepared.


3 comments >>

  1. Hi I have a daughter who has aspergers and she is 11 years old. I’m having problems with my in-laws who were brought up old school, spare the rod spoil the child kind of thing. They basically think when she has an outburst or problems with what is served for dinner then i should just spank her or punish her and it will get better. I have downloaded the grandparents guide to aspergers from the oasis website but they are still in the frame of mind that she can be punished out of her behaviors. Any ideas on how to communicate to them that is not the thing top do.
    Thanks Shannon
    Comment by shannon
  2. Parents of children with ASD’s who only eat specific brands of foods - you may want to think about making your own foods and putting them into containers from branded foods. That way you can change the content of the foods to add extra vitamins etc. This has worked very well with 3 of the families I work with - the parents made their own yoghurts, fish fingers, pizzas, waffles, sausages, burgers and put them into empty branded boxes and containers. The 3 children accepted these new foods without any problems. Its worth a try even though it takes a bit of work to prepare the food in advance and in secret.
    Comment by Wendy Goodbarn
  3. My son was the same way. I know my son worked well with a reward system so I integrated the two. Each day, or every other day I would introduce a new food. Let’s say avocado. I would have only two pieces the size of a dime for him to taste. I told him that he needed to try at least one piece and if he didn’t like it he didn’t have to eat the rest. He loves desserts. He helps me pick out an assortment at the grocery store. The reward he received for trying the new food was to pick out his favorite dessert to eat. After about a month of trying new things he picked up at least 5 new things that he liked that I could add to his diet.
    Comment by Shirleyanne


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Natural Treatment for Asperger's Syndrome

It's amazing how prevalent Aspergers is today. Aspergers is similar to autism but milder. The youngster is able to socialize a little bit more than a youngster with autism. Kids with Aspergers usually have a particular interest that they focus on -- such as math, painting, trains, etc. It is hard to get them interested in anything else. The onset of Aspergers usually occurs later in life than autism.

Possible causes of Aspergers is candida overgrowth in the gut, pollution and exposure to chemicals, food allergies or intolerances, genetic defect and, as stated above, vaccinations and overuse of antibiotics.

There are some alternative methods for helping Aspergers that have been working in many kids. One is heavy metal chelation therapy and another is rebuilding a healthy gut through the use of probiotics, enzymes and diet. I believe that a combination of both would be optimal. This comes from my own experience with heavy metal poisoning which caused me to have severe anxiety and the inability to go to social events. By following both protocols I have improved greatly. I have also been finding lots of information online about Aspergers kids completely recovering using these methods and who are now living normal lives. There are also many supplements, vitamins and herbs that help lessen the symptoms of Aspergers.

While there is no specific treatment or 'cure' for Aspergers, there are many interventions that can significantly improve the functioning and quality of life of people and kids with Aspergers. It is important to properly classify the condition and remember that it is not Aspergers disease, but rather a syndrome.

Herbal and homeopathic remedies can be viable alternatives to synthetic drugs and may be just as effective, with far fewer risks and side effects.

It is important that you only use natural remedies from a reliable source, as the quality of herbs used as well as methods of preparation may affect the strength and effectiveness of the remedy.

Depending on the symptoms that need treatment, certain herbal ingredients can be highly effective, such as:

• Chamomile
• Melissa officinalis
• Passiflora
• St. John’s Wort

Natural remedies may often contain a combination of ingredients for best effect. A holistic treatment plan aims to address the underlying cause of the problem and does not just treat the symptoms in isolation. In this way, it provides an all-around approach to greater well-being.

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Coming to Terms with Your Diagnosis: Tips for Teens on the Autism Spectrum

“How do I help my 13 year old son to come to terms with his diagnosis of 'high functioning' autism and help him to understand that it is not the end of the world?”

So many times in life, we focus on the negative. It’s raining, getting up early, taking a test, and spilling a glass of milk are things that happen all the time. None of these are true negatives, but our perspective makes them worse than reality.

You can turn each of these examples into a positive with a shift of thinking: thick green grass, seeing the sun rise, showing off skills, and a floor that needed a good mopping anyway are all positive outcomes to the same situations.

High-functioning autism (HFA) is definitely not the worst thing in the world. There are many positive qualities to be found in a teenager with the disorder. They’re smart, so knowledgeable, and have an amazing memory.

Young people on the autism spectrum have an intense sense of right and wrong and desire to follow the rules. In the same sense, they are extremely honest. And although they may have problems focusing on things like reading, spelling, or chores, they have an incredible ability to focus on a subject of interest until they know all there is to know about that subject.

Sit down with your son and make a list of his positive qualities. I’ve probably listed several here to get you started. Keep in mind that he may attempt to phrase something as a negative. Help him see the positive in as many qualities as possible. His list may look like this:
  • Almost always tells the truth
  • Almost never breaks the rules
  • Can talk about fun things that happened when he was 3 years old
  • Knows everything there is to know about ____________ (insert special interest)
  • Remembers everyone’s birthday and phone numbers
  • Tries to make sure everyone else follows the rules
  • Very intelligent




Talk to your son about any weaknesses he specifically brings up. Remind him that none of us are perfect. We all have weaknesses, but we also have the ability to seek help to control those weaknesses. Explain to him that the extra help and therapies he receives at school are to help him gain more control over his weaknesses.

Share a few printed resources with your son. He is old enough to read books and magazines written by - and for - teens his age. “Jay Grows an Alien” by Caroline Levine is a good example. This novel is written for the youngster with ASD as well as his peers, and shows kids that all of us have differences and are unique and special in our own way.

Finally, let your son know that he is the person he was intended to be, and that he is loved just the way he is. He has HFA, but he is NOT his disorder. He is an intelligent, unique, and special 13 year old young man with a very bright future ahead!

SHARE WITH YOUR TEEN:


 


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said… if he likes Pokemon, remind him the inventor was an aspie..... or sit him in front of one of the many sci-fi movies, shows etc brought to us thanks to MANY aspies.... or even point out how computing as we know it today is because of aspies like Bill Gates..... THEN remind him that people like me are counting on kids like him to make this world a BETTER place :)
•    Anonymous said… It is just a part of how he is. My son was about that age when he figured out he had Asperger's and he said he doesn't want a pill or anything to take the Asperger's away since it is what makes him him. Maybe he could get involved in Special Olympics as he will see there are so many others who are worse off than him(might make him feel better about having Aspergers).
•    Anonymous said… It is not the end, it is the beginning of how to understand the world and be a happier person!
•    Anonymous said… Marlene he is a HUGE Pokemon fan!!!!! he plays it now and its his main interest at this time;-) thats for letting me know that! I will be sure to pass that info off to him as well:-) Told him about Bill Gates too already:-) @ Marji my son is also hearing impaired and wears hearing aides..I have thought about special olympics for him..he is not very athletic but would love to get into Fencing lessons he is awesome with a sword;-) thank you!
•    Anonymous said… My son is 9 and is not doing well with this:-( he is very oppositional and thinks its something bad..I have tried telling him over and over all these things mentioned here.. even showed him all the famous people in the world who had Aspergers..hopefully he will understand when he is a little older thanks for the post.
•    Anonymous said… Take him to meet other Aspies!
•    Anonymous said… There is a fantastic book aimed at young children to early teens about what
*   Anonymous said… Aspergers is and how they are still amazing. It even explains how they think differently and what it means to them and how to tell others. The title is: What does it mean to me? : a workbook explaining self awareness and life lessons to the child or youth with high functioning autism or Aspergers. Structured teaching ideas for home and school. writen by Faherty, Catherine. There are also some great books by Dr Tony Attwood as well.
•    Anonymous said… Well said!.. My son is twelve & and with each and everyday our understanding improves...
•    Anonymous said… When we told our eleven year old son that he had Aspergers he cried and asked how to get rid of it. I explained to him that he couldn't, but it did not mean there was something 'wrong' with him. I focused on all the positives that were mentioned in the article and reminded him that he is gifted in many ways that many other people are not and that God made us all unique and different for reason. He has accepted and embraced his diagnosis and is much more aware of his behavior and we talk about ways to overcome some the obstacles he faces.

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Crucial Strategies for Parents of Challenging Kids on the Autism Spectrum

    Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum :   ==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children ...