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Explaining Abstract Concepts to Children on the Autism Spectrum

"How can a parent explain abstract concepts of friendship and love to an 8 year old daughter with ASD?"

Talking about abstract concepts with a youngster who has ASD level 1, or High Functioning Autism (HFA), can be challenging. Typically, kids with HFA have a very difficult time understanding abstract concepts, especially those that have to do with social interactions. When you talk to your daughter about friendship and love, understand that this will not be something she can grasp overnight.

A great deal of the conversation depends on the age of your daughter. Younger kids, especially elementary school age, will likely be talked to about friendship many times. Keep the conversations as concrete as you can, using specific examples. If your child has a good friend, talk to her about what sorts of things she can do to nurture that friendship.

She can invite her friend over for play dates. She can share her toys. She can talk to her friend, especially when her friend wants to talk. She can be a good listener. Using specific examples, you can explain to your daughter, over time, what friends do for each other, and what friendship means. Helping her understand this will enable her to better create and nurture friendships when she gets older.

While your daughter is young, you will want to introduce the concept of love to her. Explain that love is a feeling, and talk to her about times when she might feel that feeling. She loves her mom and dad. She loves her siblings. She loves her pets. Helping her to identify that feeling will help her understand the emotion. You can also talk to her about how she treats people she loves. Give her concrete examples of ways she can act and things she can do to nurture a loving relationship. This might include holding hands or hugging, or a kiss good night.

As your daughter gets older, you will need to continue to talk with her about the changing nature of her feelings and the nature of her relationships. She may have feelings for boys that she has trouble identifying. Talk to her about those feelings and help her give them names. 
 
You will need to talk about the varying degrees of love, such as the love she might feel for a good friend and the crush she might have on a boy in her class. Discuss appropriate ways to act on those feelings. It’s important to help your daughter identify her own feelings and give them names. She will then need to talk about the appropriate ways to act when she has those feelings.

 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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Asperger’s Struggles in Adolescence

“I have a very lonely and depressed 17 year old son with Asperger’s that spends all of his time (except for going to school) in his bedroom playing video games. I don’t totally understand why he is always so down in the dumps. I wish there was something I could do to help him find some friends and start enjoying life. Any suggestions?”

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Aspergers/HFA Kids & Taste Aversions

“Why does my HFA daughter adamantly refuse to eat any new foods? Her diet is severely limited and she literally becomes ill (or does a great job a faking it) if I force her to eat something not on her small list of favorites.”

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Poor Diet in Teens with Aspergers & High-Functioning Autism

"Any suggestions on what to do for a 13 year old teenager with Asperger's (high functioning) who is perfectly content to eat pizza rolls morning, noon and night - to the exclusion of most other foods? Very frustrating!"

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The Silent Bullying of Asperger's and HFA Students

“My high functioning autistic son continues to be bullied at school, but nobody there seems to take it seriously. His teach said that ‘he seems to start the arguments by annoying some of the other students.’ O.K. Fine. Maybe this is true, but that doesn’t justify bullying. How can I get the school to take this seriously?”
 
CLICK HERE for the answer...


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Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder - Level 1

"Are the symptoms of high functioning autism the same in males and females?"

Like ADHD, symptoms of ASD level 1, or High Functioning Autism (HFA), are different in girls than boys. Consequently, more boys are referred for an assessment than girls; a ratio as high as 10:1 has been suggested.

Despite that, epidemiological research suggests a ratio of 4:1 (or less) is more accurate, which means that there are potentially thousands of young girls on the spectrum who never get diagnosed.

The primary differences between HFA diagnoses in girls and boys seem to be caused by basic differences in the ways they express themselves. Aggressive behavior is more noticeable, and a youngster who is overly aggressive is more likely to be evaluated. Because girls have a greater ability to express their emotions, they're less likely to act out when they're upset, confused or overwhelmed. Without this behavioral "compass," the other aspects of autism are more likely to go unnoticed.
 
==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

Another similarity between ADHD and HFA in girls is that the symptoms are more passive in nature, which makes them more difficult to notice. Because the symptoms are milder, moms and dads are also more reluctant to bring their child in for a diagnosis.

Some experts speculate that one reason fewer girls are diagnosed is because their friends are more likely to help them cope in social situations, which is where symptoms are most readily identifiable. Nurturing is instinctive in girls, and so the peers of a young girl with autism will intuitively comfort her when she's upset, or guide her through social interactions.

In contrast, boys tend to be more 'predatory' and therefore more likely to tease a boy with HFA. Because a girl's peers do their best to help her, her parents and teachers may never see symptoms - or may not see them often enough - that would warrant a clinical diagnosis.





One of the key symptoms common between boys and girls is a hyper-focused interest one particular thing or topic. For boys, the special interests are often in areas of science or transportation (e.g., trains or airplanes). In girls, the focus is often on animals or classic literature.
 
==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

The interest in and of itself isn't unusual, but a youngster with HFA will have an unusually intimate knowledge of his or her topic of interest. Young girls may play with dolls and have imaginary friends, which doesn't seem at all unusual. However, their interest in these things will continue even when they become older teenagers.

Because social situations are stressful and awkward for girls with autism, they often learn to mimic people who have stronger social skills. They may adopt someone else's mannerisms, facial expressions and even vocal intonations. Again, this is sometimes misinterpreted and may be misdiagnosed as a personality disorder.

Moms and dads should seek the advice of a trained medical professional if they suspect that their child has HFA. Be sure to take note of the behaviors in question, including frequency and environment in which the behavior takes place. Because symptoms are so much more subtle in girls, parents should consult with someone who specializes in autism spectrum disorders.
  
As with other behavioral or learning disabilities, kids on the spectrum have specific educational rights. Moms and dads of a youngster who's been diagnosed with ASD should familiarize themselves with the school district's policy about things like specialized learning plans. Often, a young girl with autism just needs a little extra attention to keep her on track toward reaching her academic and personal potential.




==> Click here for much more information on autism spectrum disorders in females...

 
More resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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Loneliness & Friendships in Aspergers and HFA Children

"Is it common for a child with AS to shun peers who attempt to be friends with him? My son seems to prefer to play alone and I worry how this will impact his relationships in the future."

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