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The Six Characteristics of Asperger's Syndrome

There are basically six "areas of difficulty" associated with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger's that you will need to consider.

1. Difficulty with Reciprocal Social Interactions
2. Impairments in Language Skills
3. Narrow Range of Interests and Insistence on Set Routines
4. Motor Clumsiness
5. Cognitive Issues
6. Sensory Sensitivities

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Parenting Aspergers Teens: Changes in Adolescence

Because they tend to be loners and have odd mannerisms, Aspergers teens can be shunned from popular groups of kids -- and can be the focus of teasing. Even so, these young people develop feelings for others they become attracted to, though they can’t always express their feelings correctly. This can lead to frustration and anger in the adolescent who develops his first tentative relationships. They are more likely to face rejection from their peers and be left with a low self-esteem as a result.



Adult Diagnosis of Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

"I have a new boyfriend who is handsome, but quirky. I'm wondering if he has Asperger Syndrome. I wouldn't hold that against him if he has this disorder, but knowing that he does - if he does - would sure explain a lot of things for me. Is there a way to know for sure before approaching him on this matter?"

As more and more doctors - and society in general - understand more about Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism, the condition is being diagnosed in grown-ups as well as kids. Sometimes the diagnosis doesn’t come out in adults until their own son or daughter is diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Typical symptoms associated with Aspergers in adults include: 
  • adhering strongly to routines and schedules
  • an average or above average intelligence
  • difficulty controlling their feelings
  • difficulty empathizing with others
  • difficulty thinking abstractly
  • difficulty understand the emotions of others
  • missing the subtleties of facial expression, eye contact and body language
  • poor conversational ability
  • some inappropriate social behaviors
  • specializing in specific fields or hobbies

If your boyfriend has several of these traits, then he may want to seek an official diagnosis. 

A way for you to approach the matter is to lead with strengths. Most people with Aspergers have significant areas of strength (even if this has not been translatable into tangible success). Bring up areas of strength with your boyfriend. Next, tactfully point out the areas in which he may be struggling. Then, suggest to him that there is a name for that confusing combination of strengths and challenges, and it may be Aspergers.

Like kids with Aspergers, these adults are often seen as odd. In years past, such individuals muddled along in society - sometimes on the fringes – while others were diagnosed with different types of mental illnesses. Now that Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism have been brought into the public light by cases of people who either have succeeded despite the disorder or committed crimes as a result of having previously undiagnosed Aspergers, more adults are being picked-up and treated for the condition.

Often these aren’t adults specifically asking for help for suspected Aspergers, but rather have anxiety and/or depression, issues around self-esteem, or other mood issues that bring them to doctors or therapists that are now making the correct underlying diagnosis.

By finding the correct underlying diagnosis, more help can become available even to those who’ve likely had the diagnosis their entire lives – but were unnoticed or labeled something else.

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

 
Comments:

•    Anonymous said… I'm an adult and I am certain that I have an undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder. I'm despressed and frustrated at this time because there seems to be no way of getting affordable autism testing and assessment from a qualified professional. I have spent many hours trying to make phone and internet inquiries into making this happen. My desire is to start a petition to President Obama to release funds for more services to be made assessible to adults, including autism testing. But I need to find someone who will give me permission to use a photo with the message "Children with autism become adults with autism" to make that happen. I have one daughter who is high-functioning and is on the spectrum and a biological dad (now deceased) who is believed to have been on the spectrum.
•    Anonymous said…  I have three places I am totally comfortable..my pub..my job and my own company.I was diagnosed at the aga of 52 by Dr Stephen Underwood in Australia.It was my ex who pushed me toward my being diagnosed and I still miss her very much but I have become comfortable with how my life will evolve..It takes an exceptional person to take on a telationship with an aspie.
•    Anonymous said…  talk to green maxville and associates in st.louis mo.they are helping me with my high functioning autism.i have health care usa managed care plan through mo health net.it is medicaid.having 10 sessions of behavior therapy and some comm therapy.my number is 314 792 4482.you not alone.i am 36 yr old adult.
•    Anonymous said…  I have long suspected I'm an undiagnosed aspergers. I have all the criteria listed. Unfortunately, I believe I was an absolute terrible baby and child with inexperienced parents and so suffered terribly through my childhood. This means that when I approach someone for help their focus goes to my abusive childhood rather than helping me with my aspergers symptoms now. Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions for the best way for me to get some help and understanding?
•    Anonymous said…  I too was a "terrible child," abused by my mom, coaches, teachers and kids in school. I believed that there was something wrong with me, they told me I was "weird." That was my diagnosis. Despite, I did grow up to become a super successful adult (i guess high functioning autism). I am still not diagnosed and thought very highly of the skills for success I've developed. In my work I am a Certified High Performance Coach. Few years ago I received a Masters Degree in Spiritual Psychology. The tools I've learned through the program have changed my life, especially around relating to other people, empathy, compassion, relationships, and communication. I can't say that now I love large gatherings or enjoy small talk conversations and never feel socially awkward, no, all of that is present in my life. However, I am creating meaningful connections, change people's lives, enjoy beautiful relationships and most important, feel fulfilled and happy! Perhaps, I could be of service to you and support you with the tools that have helped me in my own life so profoundly! I would be happy to hear from you. Please don't hesitate to email me at coach underscore faye at me dot com. Sending you love and light on your journey.

 

Best Comment: "I did finally find a counselor who deals with adults with aspergers. I had no problem finding counselors who dealt with kids, but adults is a whole other matter. Actually finding someone who could do a diagnosis was easy. The larger companies around here (with multiple counselors) typically all had a diagnostic section that handled that sort of thing. Its the treatment side of things that got dicey. Reading the online blogs and websites, I think that will change over time. Relatively speaking, Asperger's and HFA are pretty new disorders. It didn't even exist in the DSM until I was in high school! I imagine there are a lot of adults out there dealing with these issues, and as time progresses, more and more clinicians will become better equipped to handle it."

 

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How can children with Aspergers cope with anger and depression?

Unfortunately, anger and depression are both issues more common in Aspergers and HFA than in the general population. Part of the problem stems from a conflict between longings for social contact and an inability to be social in ways that attract friendships and relationships. Even very young "Aspies" seem to know that they are not the same as their peers, and this gets emphasized in the social arena of the classroom. Many cases of depression, in fact, begin in elementary school (usually due to bullying and being an "outcast"). Anger, too, stems from feeling out of place and being angry at one’s circumstances in life.

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"Aspie" Anger Control

Children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism easily can have as much of a problem controlling their anger as other children. Because children and teens with Aspergers have difficulty understanding emotions and their impact on others, however, they often have more difficulty than other children reigning in their anger.

In addition, teens with Aspergers aren’t living in a void in which they don’t understand that they’re different from other kids. Often teased by their peers, they can have incipient anger they don’t understand and can’t easily control.

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 COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said... As the saying goes "if you've seen one kid with autism you've seen one kid with autism". They are all different just as neuro-typical kids are. The daycare our son was at starting noticing issues with transitions at 2 yrs old. Had him evaluated at home and they saw no issues because he was at home. Long story short the daycare kept us informed and said he would not do well in the 3yr old class due to its size and structure. Had him evaluated again by having a doc give us forms for all his caretakers old and new daycare to fill out including us. He narrowed it down to aspergers or ADHD. Tried rydalin for one day and it sent him over the edge (which it will do if you are not ADHD) Been in speech and OT ever since then and we take courses and read up as well and he's doing beautifully. Can still see the asperger issues but they are getting milder all the time.
•    Anonymous said... I am blessed, I have enough ASD myself that I "get it" when my 15 yr old totally goes Bonkers over NOTHING! We have to work to find the triggers, hard since they don't often Share what they feel. They really do have a Reason for their explosions, We just don't always know what the reason is! Hard work developing communication so we can understand their reasons, but its worth the work!
•    Anonymous said... its all just trial and error. You'll have periods of regression and then again of progressio just don't give up, ull find what works for ur family.
•    Anonymous said... Mine def has explosive anger and he is 5...
•    Anonymous said... mine does, at the drop of a dime.
•    Anonymous said... Mine doesn't get upset about anything. He gets a little ticked sometimes but never angry explosive. He is very mellow in fact. Does that mean he doesn't have AS?
•    Anonymous said... Mine is also quite explosive.
•    Anonymous said... Mine sure does and often about the dumbest/weirdest things!
•    Anonymous said... My 8 year old has for years with nothing helping so far.
•    Anonymous said... seems trivial to you - but not to your asperger's child. To them, expectations and perceptions are different than they are to you. It is difficult to think on their level. I almost lost my daughter a few times because of her outbursts, but she is learning and maturing and it is getting easier. Good luck!
•    Anonymous said... this sounds like the methods we are using with our son too. He's only 7 & it's only just begun to improve, but it's so great to read your post & hear how well it's worked for your son at 15, gives me hope! His sensory & social difficulties 1st became apparent around age 2, w/ diagnosis starting at age 4. Up until last summer we had never discussed with him what his diagnosis were or what they meant. He had a bad meltdown at a store one day & as much as I tried to hold it together, when the clerk got in his face & scolded him (making the meltdown escalate drastically of coarse), I LOST it! Ended up yelling at the clerk & blurting out "my son has Autism & thanks to you this meltdown is about to get a thousand times worse! In the future please keep your comments & opinions to yourself unless you know for sure what you're dealing with!" Needless to say, I felt awful later (once I calmed down & got him to a safe place) for lashing out at that complete stranger! But...it turned out to be a blessing in disguise! Since he had heard every word I said to her, he asked "mommy what is Autism & am I going to be ok?" The dreaded question & praying I could answer it correctly... We talked for a while about it & that seemed to be a turning point for him! It helped him understand why he feels the way he feels sometimes & that has helped him deal with those feelings. We never allow it to be an excuse for bad behavior, & there are always consequences when that happens, I think accountability for actions is very important because that is "the real world". A few months later, I heard him explain (as best he could) to a Neuro typical child that he had something called Autism & that's why he needed a break away from them to calm down! Priceless!

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Aspergers and Comorbid Conditions

Children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism are known to have several comorbid conditions. Comorbid conditions are those conditions or diseases that go along with having Aspergers. One of these conditions is known as ADHD or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Sometimes, these children can be misdiagnosed as only having the more common ADHD, with the Aspergers being missed.

Aspergers and Medication

"Are there any medications on the market to treat a child Asperger's Syndrome? If so, which ones have had the greatest benefit to those with the disorder?"

Because there is no identifiable biochemical problem in Aspergers Syndrome or High-Functioning Autism, and because many researchers believe the syndrome is a result of fundamental changes in the brain structure, medications will probably never treat or cure it. On the other hand, there are several medications that have been found to control some of the symptoms of Aspergers Syndrome or the comorbidities found with the condition.

A medication called atomoxetine has been found to improve some of the aspects of Aspergers Syndrome that mimic those of attention deficit disorder. Several studies have used the drug to reduce symptoms of irritability, social withdrawal and repetitive speech seen in this disorder.

Medications normally directed toward treating obsessive compulsive disorder have been tried in children with Aspergers Syndrome who have shown obsessive and compulsive tendencies. While the medication doesn’t treat some of the core symptoms of Aspergers Syndrome, it has been shown to improve OCD symptoms.

Antidepressants can be attempted in those Aspergers individuals who suffer from secondary depression. The depression isn’t generally a part of the Aspergers Syndrome itself, but is found as a result of some of the distressing life circumstances often found in Aspergers Syndrome. Many of these children and teens know that they do not fit in with others, and while some prefer social isolation, others lament their lack of ability to get comfortable dealing with others. This and other issues of self-esteem, etc., can lead to depression, which is often manageable with antidepressant medication.

Finally, people with Aspergers Syndrome often suffer from debilitating insomnia. While it’s best to use non-drug ways of controlling the symptoms, some people can make use of sleeping medication that doesn’t have to be addicting. Sometimes a short course of sleeping medication can get the individual back into a regular sleeping pattern.

Medications directed at anxiety may be necessary when the person with Aspergers suffers from nervousness or irritability surrounding their life situations. "Aspies" can become quite distressed by things not being the same or as expected, and anti-anxiety medication can help with this.

In truth, there is no single medication or class of medications that works to treat many of the core symptoms of Aspergers Syndrome. Some of the secondary or related symptoms can be effectively managed, however, with certain psychotropic medications.

Best comment:

Medication will help in very specific ways. Medication helps in reducing panic attacks, anxiety and aggression and explosive behavior. AS kids have restricted interests by definition of the disorder. They focus in on details on whatever it is they are talking about. Even with medication. But it helps to have the medication reduce some the stress. A good book to refer to for doses for AS kids is "Clinical Treatment of Autism" by Dr. Eric Hollander (From Mt. Sinai Autism Center) For example, AS kids start at low doses of Zoloft (25mg up to 50mg) or Prozac (10mg up to 20mg).

What else is needed is a different approach. Many activities need to be rehearsed in very small steps over years of exposures. And with a positive reinforcement plan. I have found Yale University Parent and Child Conduct Clinic very helpful. I have been trained by them on the phone over the last two years.

Here are some strategies:

1) Avoid stores with him until you can work on a behavior plan with him on this. When you have time, he needs to be taught to shop from a list, stick to a budget, ignore items he sees that are not on the list and that shopping is a reward to be earned by doing both. Tagging along with parents shopping is going to be irritating to him for a long time in the future.

2) Only pair him up with kids that are younger or not challenging personalities. Make the social activity predictable (movie, with defined snacks), or (park and a drink and chips we bring with) or (bowling 2 games and a snack and drink). Rehearse the social activity. And praise all positive behavior. Often as they get older, they will start to be able to be more flexible with peers.

3) Practice talking at meals about pleasant things that others are interested in. Don't allow dinners to be all special interests all the time. Practice at some meals taking an interest in the parent’s interests or other members of the family. This is a skill that takes time to develop. If he was shut out of conversation all day at school, then dinner may be his time to talk about his interests. It may have to wait until a less stressful time of the year to practice this skill.

3) Church is going to be difficult. All those people and the noise from all directions. It is an irritating place for many AS kids. My daughter goes to Sunday school (and I have taught the class for 8 years) not church services (except for Christmas and Easter when there is lots of music and we attend the children's mass).

I think parent's need support from a behaviorist. Parents of typical kids and teachers will not understand that these kids need very small steps and exposures to life in general.

Teachers and school staff will push too hard, it is only a certified behaviorist of autistic kids that understand behavior shaping is a slow process of gradual change with positive supports.

A better day for your son would be:

1) Lunch at his favorite place with you only. Agree on your limits ahead of time. The less limits the less irritated he will be. So pick an affordable place with food choices that you approve of.

Practice menu choices. Without a fight. Practice budget. When he can go to the lunch place without a meltdown over menu choices he is ready for your boyfriend to be there and then his son.

The goal of this exercise is to have a positive social experience. Don't expect to go to a busy noisy rushed place at lunch on Saturday with a group of people and expect him to be well behaved. It all has to be rehearsed and practiced.

2) Find him a church setting where there is very small Sunday school groups for kids his age. Let the teacher know he needs support and understanding.

3) Melatonin tablets are very helpful for relaxing AS kids at bedtime. This really works. The Mayo Clinic recommends them an hour before bedtime. I forgot the dose I use for my daughter, look at the Mayo Clinic web site on Asperger kids and medications. It has made a huge difference for my daughter. She use to get very anxious and had a busy mind at bedtime. Now she is asleep within an hour.

4) Follow this plan: One outing a day, one place, and allow 1 hour or more. Don't rush him to leave. Give him a warning. Offer a small reward if he leaves calmly when it is time.

There is so much to share about parenting an AS child. This is a rushed summary, and I am rushing through the details. But it is meant to give you an idea of the strategies that work. You will find a behaviorist very helpful. Yale was affordable for me. $75 for 45 min and I did get some money from insurance back. 


 More comments:

•    Anonymous said...  1. It's not a 'disorder' 2. No there is no suitable medication 3. Start finding ways to ease the anxieties, not turn children into Zombies with drugs. Rant over
•    Anonymous said...  Allison, My almost 12yr old grandson has been on Risperdol since he was 3. He has had no side effects other than weight gain which is under control with diet. His parents did take him off one summer & everyone, including our Aspie, was miserable due to daily meltdowns. Monitor closely but don't let peers pressure you to DC meds for no good reason.
•    Anonymous said...  Catapres nightly to assist sleep (age 7)
•    Anonymous said...  Dietary changes, ABA & OT therapy, and counseling have all been beneficial for our son/family. Our son no longer does OT, counseling is on an as needed basis and he'll most likely be done with ABA therapy too. As for the diet, that is a lifestyle change. We've also found great support through our church family & getting him involved with youth group & more structured type activities that he enjoys.
•    Anonymous said...  Everyone is entitled to their opinion, so this is mine. Why do people get so tetchy over words? Who cares what it is called as long as no offensive words are used. Why are people so against medication? Surely it is up to the individual parent. I know for sure I would much rather my daughter be stable than having her slit her wrists all the time because her mother didn't think she was worth enough to help her with medication. Many other therapies have been tried but failed because of her lack of communication ability be it verbal or otherwise. I would not deny my daughter calpol if she had a headache and would not wish for her to suffer the pain instead so who am I to deny her a chance of an anxiety free life just because of my belief against medication! Rant over!!
•    Anonymous said...  Go to the Amen clinic. They are wonderful!
•    Anonymous said...  I always caution, when considering medication for children, people to make sure they clearly weigh the pros and cons. Some medications for social issues (depression/anxiety) end up seeming to work and then backfire with symptoms that are even more aggravating including suicidal tendencies or violent outbursts. For so many medication works for many things, but since, as the article says, autism has not been found to be any particular imbalance that can be corrected, it may well be the best option is for us to make our environments more aspie/autism friendly than to try to force change at a medicinal level in them.
•    Anonymous said...  I would suggest starting with therapy, and see what direction that sends you in. There are so many medications you can put them on but lots of them have many cons.
•    Anonymous said...  I would suggest therapy also. Our son is not on any meds, but has been seeing a therapist for 2 years, and it has made a world of difference in his behavior. Medication may help some, but for us, we want that to be the very last option we choose.
•    Anonymous said...  My boy uses meds to help with his focus at school. I have had to educate our school a lot about reinforcing bad behavior. Education is the key. I would probably use meds even if we homeschooled. He tells me it is liked having steering and breaks. He feels more in control.
•    Anonymous said...  My daughter was on Risperdol and went off the deep end. She hasn't been on any meds (except melatonin) since age 7. Now shes in full blown puberty and NEEDS anti anxiety meds. No amount of therapy has helped, and she could hurt herself or someone else if she can't calm down.
•    Anonymous said...  My son began taking medication for anxiety when he was a teen. It has helped a ton. He still gets anxious, but it is not completely debilitating anymore. The medication side effects are very minimal as he takes a low dose.
•    Anonymous said...  My son is an aspie that also has adhd. He's six and takes vyvanse and tenex. I hated putting him on meds but sometimes you just have to.
•    Anonymous said...  Risperdol has been a life saver for my 14 year old son with Asperger's. His aggression has reached scary proportions and this med has helped with his anger and meltdowns. He also takes Lexapro for his high anxiety. I agree that it's the parent's choice...we all want the best for our children medicine or not. I honestly do not think my son could live with our family if he wasn't on medication.
•    Anonymous said...  risperdol has been a life saver for us as well, though with my son only being 5 years old I'm not sure how long I'll be willing to keep him on it, at least not for long term, we're thinking to just use it for the months he's in school. He also takes Fluvox for his OCD which has really helped him as well.
•    Anonymous said...  There is no medication for Asperger's. There are, however, medications for comorbid diagnoses such as OCD or ADHD. For Asperger's in and of itself, there is none.

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