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Kids on the Autism Spectrum: Restricted & Repetitive Interests

“We are new to the world of autism spectrum disorders. Is it common for a child with high functioning autism to spend all (or certainly most) of his time doing only one thing? Our 5-year-old son would spend 24-hours-a-day telling you about dinosaurs if he didn’t have to sleep. Should we just go along with the program, or attempt to curb this appetite for dinosaur trivia?”

I would recommend against curbing the appetite – unless it gets in the way of fulfilling his responsibilities (e.g., homework, chores, etc.). Parents and teachers can use a child’s special interest to their advantage in multiple ways.

Kids with High-Functioning Autism (ASD level 1) often display behavior, interests, and activities that are restricted and repetitive and are sometimes abnormally intense or focused. They may stick to inflexible routines, move in stereotyped and repetitive ways, or preoccupy themselves with parts of objects.

Pursuit of specific and narrow areas of interest is one of the most striking features of High-Functioning Autism. These children may collect volumes of detailed information on a relatively narrow topic (e.g., dinosaurs, trains, deep fat fryers etc.) without necessarily having genuine understanding of the broader topic (e.g., the youngster might memorize camera model numbers while caring little about photography). This behavior is usually apparent by grade school, typically age 5 or 6.
 
==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Children with High-Functioning Autism latch onto topics and interests that are often considered a hobby by others. However, they develop an intense interest in the subject and may become experts in it. Some obsessions involve physical collections while others are fact-based.

Some of the common interests that characterize children with High-Functioning Autism include:
  • accumulation of objects or facts and information
  • intense attachment to objects in a collection
  • agitation if the collection is disturbed or moved out of order
  • animals and nature (this often starts with a fascination for dinosaurs and may end up with expert knowledge about animal or insect groups like spiders or snakes)
  • books
  • for boys, card collections like baseball or superheroes
  • for girls, Barbie dolls
  • interest in death and freaks
  • obsession that is accompanied by extreme motivation, attention and ability
  • obsession that is concentrated on to the exclusion of other activities
  • obsessions that dominate the child’s conversation
  • obsessions that dominate the child’s free time
  • public transport systems (e.g., the child may know every station in a subway system or travel around to visit old rail collections)
  • science fiction and fantasy
  • technical and scientific interests (e.g., vehicles, trains, aircraft, ships, volcanoes, astronomy, mathematics, numbers, chemistry, the periodic table, the weather)

Obsessions play an important role in the daily life of children with High-Functioning Autism. For example:
  • The interest may give them a sense of identity if they are considered to be an expert in the area.
  • The interest is associated with pleasure (e.g., a family trip on a steam train or a visit to a game park).
  • The interest is a form of relaxation. High-Functioning Autism kids thrive on routine, and familiarity and being able to lose themselves in an interest is a stress reliever.
  • Obsessions help them overcome anxiety when the interest is directed at something they fear. By understanding it, they strip it of its ability to “harm.”
  • High-Functioning Autism kids struggle with the unpredictability of life and social interaction, and feel secure within the confines of their special interest.

While special interests can be beneficial to kids on the spectrum, they can also cause difficulties and become a source of annoyance to those in their social circle. Although these special interests may change from time to time, they typically become more unusual and narrowly focused, and often dominate social interaction so much that the entire family may become immersed.

Stereotyped and repetitive motor behaviors are also a core part of the diagnosis of High-Functioning Autism and other ASDs (e.g., hand movements, flapping, twisting, complex whole-body movements, etc.). These are typically repeated in longer bursts and look more voluntary or ritualistic than tics, which are usually faster, less rhythmical and less often symmetrical.


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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PARENTS' COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said...  also sharing his interest will help him 2grow. Social skills r a challenge & u can use his interests 2help him communicate better. Conversations w\other ppl r challenges 4them. Use this & anything u can 2help him.
•    Anonymous said...  Becci Snead Ellison, thank you!!! That is a great idea!! She usually interrupts dinner time conversations and this is a great way to teach her!!! I so appreciate your input!
•    Anonymous said...  enjoy him & love him 4who he is! His own unique lil person! He will amaze u!
•    Anonymous said...  enjoy the interest w\him, build a bond w\him now so u can continue 2know him & learn about him. They will bcome strangers if u dont take time 2know them.
•    Anonymous said...  Eventually you can expand to. Where they lived, what they ate, what period etc. art projects can revolve around making dioramas, making plaster casts of 'footprints'. You can add writing by creating a biography page for each species with all the info. Take dinos and run with it.
•    Anonymous said...  Games. It still gives him a connection to his peers but I miss our trips to museums and zoos where he blew everyone away with his knowledge.
•    Anonymous said...  Give him certain times during the day where he can ONLY talk about dinosaurs (set a timer) When the timer goes off he can only talk about everything else BUT dinosaurs...My youngest was the same way about maps. During his "dino" time help him research, help him read, help him do everything dino related. This way it is limited (to save your sanity) but he still gets the satisfaction of feeding his knowledge
•    Anonymous said...  Go along with it. It interests him, and you should encourage it. I found before I was diagnosed, people discouraged any interests, which made me not want to get into anything. It'll set him back if discouraged
•    Anonymous said...  Hi. This is the first time I've posted, but I've been an avid post reader for some time now, sorry, but I totally understand what your all saying. Most of my friends and family don't see it in them at all, but my husband and 2 sons, aged 14 and 11 have high functioning Autism. They each have an amazing gift or talent in something different, and all 3 have high analytical intelligence but lack in emotional/ communication skills.. As for obsessions, My oldest son started with Thomas the Tank Engine. He could name every single engine, carriage, person etc and would quite arrogantly tell you if you got it wrong. Then it was dinosaurs.... He could tell anyone at all (and he would) the name (some of which I can barely pronounce) of just about any dinosaur, where it originated and what it ate....then it was Brazilian Jujitsu.... Then he moved onto, and is still current, the love for Reptiles, not all.. Primarily snakes and some lizards.... BUT He has recently discovered how good he is at Archery... So as long as he continues to take proper responsibility of the 3 snakes and 2 lizards...we will nurture his archery skill... He has his eye on a $400 bow set at the moment. The thing is, is that he's that self disciplined that he will do chores and save his b'day and Xmas gift money up, so he can get it. If only I had the same self control... Lol. My 11 yr old son is an avid book reader. He can read a whole adult sized novel in about 4 hours, and then tell you about in with the most impeccable memory and description. It's almost like a movie was in his head and he can describe it you. He loves animals, particularly dogs and cats, but has no fear... I just hope that a nasty or troubled animal doesn't hurt that naivety one day, although I've tried to tell him, he has like a cat/dog whisperer thing in him. I'm planning on getting him a vet science book... He'll be a vet by the time he's 17 I reckon.... But he is my fragile one to me. He is very naive...but he's also still very young. My ASD boys are amazing, and perfect role model students at school... And I truly believe that they are the next step in evolution.... As for my husband... That's a whole different story... We've had loads of problems since the realisation of it all only 2 years ago after 14 years marriage, But he still is the only man for me and I love him so much. We' re a 'Work in Progress'.... Xxx
•    Anonymous said...  I've always let my son go with what he feels. Yes, there have been times I had enough and had to say we would have to talk about it later. The interests do change over time and as they age. My son is now 15 and isn't as into 1 thing anymore. They feel very isolated as it is. Having an interest and being excited about it is healthy in my opinion. My son has always been so passionate about certain things throughout the years. It gave him confidence and he was proud of his knowledge.
•    Anonymous said...  I've had to limit my daughter's time with her obsession. She loves Super Mario Bros for the Wii. She'll play it, has stuffed characters, watches the old TV show on Netflix from the 80's and will watch Youtube videos of other people playing and tips. I do make her alternate it with her other interests and she's only allowed to play the game in 30 min intervals and never first thing in the morning or right before bed. If I don't she gets hyper and can't focus. She'll also dream about it. She literally talks about Mario in her sleep.
•    Anonymous said...  Just listen Mom , I promise you some day he'll thank you for it!
•    Anonymous said...  Let him be excited to share. And let him know you are proud of his vast knowledge of dinosaurs. Who knows, he could grow up and be the world's greatest archeologist!!!!!
•    Anonymous said...  Let him do dinosaurs now. He'll be just as obsessed about the next thing when it comes along.
•    Anonymous said...  McKenzie, use her love if those subjects to teach her a social skill! You can practice at dinner by giving her an appropriate amount I time to talk about her subject but then giving brother a chance to talk about his day it subject and have your daughter respond with questions or gestures that would be appropriate in any conversation! This is an exercise we learned from ABA and we have fun with it all the time!
•    Anonymous said...  Mine went from dinosaurs to animals. At school it gave him something to talk about. Most kids love animals. Now at 14 it's video gan
•    Anonymous said...  My 13 yr old talks about bustin bieber n one direction all the time. She use to talk about school o much I told her no talking about school after 5pm. It took awhile but it works . Now it's music.
•    Anonymous said...  My 14 year old's obsession is anything from the 1980's. Honestly, I get so tired of listening to his facts because it is an all day thing. I have to tell him that I've had enough for the day and he needs to draw or play his video games...which are also from the 80's. As he has grown his obsessions have been: dinosaurs, Sesame Street, Flags of the world, Mascots for football, LEGOS, Star Wars and now the 80's:)
•    Anonymous said...  My ltl man moves to a new topic when hes ready. Thomas the tank was approx 4 years!
•    Anonymous said...  Oh absolutely! I know way more about WWII than most because of my son! This is perfectly typical I our a-typical kiddoes! .
•    Anonymous said...  Our daughter is 12 and she will spend all her energy and time researching and discussing the Titanic, Helen Keller and now it's Ann Frank. It can get overwhelming for us and her brother to listen to this all the time. But when we ask her to talk about something else she feels hurt and says we just don't want to listen to her . Just not sure what to do sometimes.
•    Anonymous said...  Perfectly normal. My 12 year old son is still like that. Eventually your son will switch to another subject, and the dinos will disappear in a second flat. Ride the wave. I figure if it makes him happy then I will feed the knowledge to him until he is ready to move on. Because he always does.
•    Anonymous said...  setting limits r good, 10 mins of dinosaurs, then 5 mins on something else...(4example) give & take of relationships r important 2teach him. Limits but not denial or smothering. Teach him thru his interests! U will learn more about him!!
•    Anonymous said...  That is very common! We have a Dino lover expert! Autism Speaks is a wonderful that has helped us. Our son is 6. You will really enjoy all the quirks that they have.
•    Anonymous said...  This is perfectly normal with a child with Asperger's. Be supportive and indulge his curiosity and enthusiasm. Can you use this special interest as a bridge to explore other subjects? Before you know it, his interest in dinosaurs will wane, and he will move on to a new special interest. Also perfectly normal. As for social skills, you may want to coach him that other people may not enjoy talking about dinosaurs as much as he does, but it's OK to like dinosaurs and want to learn all about them. It would be great if he could find a friend who likes dinosaurs as much as he does, so he will feel accepted and have someone who shares his special interest very much.
•    Anonymous said...  We leave our lil un he will change to sumfin else wen hes ready
•    Anonymous said...  We moms of aspies need 2stick 2gether! Even when u hear dinosaurs n ur sleep...remember...this is her world shes sharing w/u! U can teach her more about the world she has 2live n also! hang in there! Its tough but soo worth it! 
*   Anonymous said... Here is an idea that helped us TREMENDOUSLY when our son was severely stuck on topics and could not have a two way conversation.  A STOP WATCH!  Give the child a stop watch and let him push the timer.  He can watch the time tick by or not, but the stop watch does help keep his interest.  He has one minute to tell you whatever he wants to talk about.  At the end of one minute, the stop watch goes to the parent.  The parent then starts the timer and responds back to the child about what he was discussing.  (Child cannot talk during this time.  He has to listen.)  The parent can then change the subject.  At the end of one minute, the child gets the stop watch back. He restarts the timer and he has to comment on what the parent just talked about BEFORE he can talk about what he is stuck on.  If the one with the timer has nothing more to say and the minute isn't up yet, no one can talk until the time is up.  This really helps the child with self-control and stops rattling.  This method saved us after my husband passed and there was no one around to listen except my ears.  My son quickly learned two way conversations.  My family and friends could not get over the fast improvement.  Whenever he wanted to talk about what he was stuck on, or something in his day, he would come to me and say, "I have something really important to tell you," as he handed me the stop watch.  If ti wasn't the best time, I would ask him to wait 15 minutes (or however long it would be before I was available) then he could talk as long as he wanted with the stop watch.  It stopped the all day verbal chattering about nothing.
•    Anonymous said...  Try to help them find lots of mini obsessions It can help breakup the challenge of the same topic all the time. So important to work with the obsessions and not fight them. They can become your communication lifelines in difficult times.
•    Anonymous said... Absolutely. My son is 7, and he goes on and on about his "topic du jour.". This is where speech and language pragmatics therapy comes in. Learning the back and forth of conversations, etc.
•    Anonymous said... and on the bright side......you will learn a lot about dinosaurs.....
•    Anonymous said... Great insight!!! Makes me understand my nephew now even better.
•    Anonymous said... I think it is important to also introduce other things so that they develop in other areas. Some form of physical activity, some other toys, and things that may be related but help introduce something else...for example, fiction books about dinosaurs that lead to fiction books on other topics. Or non-fiction books about reptiles.
•    Anonymous said... If my son could play Roblox 24-7 he would! That's all he wants to do.
•    Anonymous said... My grand daughter has a huge obsession with Match Box Cars. We have three Aspies in our family.
•    Anonymous said... my son is aspie and ADHS so it is hard for him to keep on jus one thing he bounces from one to another but always stays with a focus on cars
•    Anonymous said... My sons is almost 10 and huge into Pokemon. All I hear most days is about Pokemon. I had to set time limits on how often he can play it but he still talks about it all the time. This is his life log obsession because he's been playing it since he was 2.
•    Anonymous said... Rainbow looms have to be just right and makes them all. 😊
•    Anonymous said... sounds like a textook Aspie....
•    Anonymous said... Use his love of dinosaurs to keep him engaged in conversation with you and others. My grandsons will maintain eye contact for longer lengths of time if they are talking about their favorite things.
•    Anonymous said... Very common with aspies. Both of mine have favorite things they would play with or talk about.
•    Anonymous said... Yes . Just remembering Thomas the train makes me smile
•    Anonymous said... yes, that is common. or months or years of one or two preferred activities. Even if he shows massive resistance, its important to make him do other things and set limits on the obsessions.
•    Anonymous said... You can also use his obsessions to teach other skills, adding and subtracting dinosaurs, dinosaurs in a conversation, etc. 
•    Anonymous said... My 16 year old aspie spends hours (not all at once) a day jumping on the trampoline. I think it kinda grounds/comforts him.
•    Anonymous said... My son did the dinosaur thing... totally normal...I believe we should not discourage them however difficult the repetition becomes... its very difficult to steer them to other interests..
•    Anonymous said... My son had a fight today at school telling me his tired of children bulling him. In one way I'm so happy he stood up for. The other hand how can I tolerate violence
•    Anonymous said... My son had a thing for cars when he was younger...don't curb it - it's what they love! it's their focus and it's often what will keep them calm and interactive. Instead, teach through it. We learned colours , maths, imaginative stories ...the list is endless!!
•    Anonymous said... My son has hyper focus on one subject at a time that can lasts for months...then he moves onto something else! This transition has Improved as he's got older, he changes his focus in quicker turn around times, and at times is interested in more then one thing! He is now 12. He can be super happy about his focus when it's going well...for example he is really into yo yo's right now (hand eye co ordination off the charts) and is learning all the tricks he can!! But his string broke on the yo yo and had a total meltdown! Always have spares!!!!
•    Anonymous said... My son is 8 years old. We tend not to curb his appetite for his repetitive play. It is something that keeps him happy. What we have done is try to introduce new games.
•    Anonymous said... No let him go....this is one thing about autistic kids is a specialty. My son is 8 and right now it's minecraft. He is also very interested in dinasours, springboard diving (his sport) space. My biggest piece of advice is don't treat him Any different. We exspect the same behavior from him as our older son (they are 17 mths appart). The only difference is we have more patience and understanding when it comes to our 8 year old. But if he doesn't follow the rules he does get grounded. Usually it's his tablet we take away. We started this when he was young and we are finding it easier now that he is 8. Still have our bad days but they are less. They MUST know where those boundaries are. There is no gray area with my son only black and white, right and wrong.
•    Anonymous said... Oh and he is also a Minecraft fanatic, I know quite a few asperger kids who love Minecraft.
•    Anonymous said... We loved the yo yo phase!
•    Anonymous said... Yes would be the short answer

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By

Kids on the Autism Spectrum and Auditory Processing Disorder

Do loud noises annoy and disturb your high-functioning autistic child? If so, she or he may have APD.

Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) is an umbrella term for a variety of disorders that affect the way the brain processes auditory information. It is not a sensory or inner ear hearing impairment.

Kids with APD usually have normal peripheral hearing ability. However, they cannot process the information they hear in the same way as others do, which leads to difficulties in recognizing and interpreting sounds, especially the sounds composing speech.

APD can affect both kids and grown-ups. Approximately 2-3% of kids and 17-20% of grown-ups have this disorder. Males are two times more likely to be affected by the disorder than females.

APD can be genetic or acquired. It may result from ear infections, head injuries or developmental delays that cause central nervous system difficulties that affect processing of auditory information. This can include problems with:
  • auditory discrimination
  • auditory pattern recognition
  • auditory performance in competing acoustic signals (including dichotic listening)
  • auditory performance with degraded acoustic signals
  • sound localization and lateralization
  • temporal aspects of audition, including temporal integration, temporal discrimination (e.g., temporal gap detection), temporal ordering, and temporal masking

APD results from impaired neural function and is characterized by poor recognition, discrimination, separation, grouping, localization, or ordering of speech sounds. It does not solely result from a deficit in general attention, language or other cognitive processes.

As APD is one of the more difficult information processing disorders to detect and diagnose, it may sometimes be misdiagnosed as ADD/ADHD, Asperger Syndrome and other forms of Autism, but it may also be a comorbid aspect of those conditions if it is considered a significant part of the overall diagnostic picture. APD shares common symptoms in areas of overlap such that professionals unfamiliar with APD may misdiagnose it as a condition they are aware of.

Children with APD intermittently experience an inability to process verbal information. When children with APD have a processing failure; they do not process what is being said to them.

There are also many other hidden implications, which are not always apparent even to the child with the disability. For example, because children with APD are used to guessing to fill in the processing gaps, they may not even be aware that they have misunderstood something.

Characteristics—

HFA kids with Auditory Processing Disorder often:
  • have a preference for written communication (e.g. text chat)
  • dislike locations with background noise (e.g., a school lunch room)
  • have behavior problems
  • have sensitivities to loud noises
  • have difficulty with reading, comprehension, spelling, and vocabulary
  • have language difficulties (e.g., they confuse syllable sequences and have problems developing vocabulary and understanding language)
  • have low academic performance
  • have poor listening skills
  • have problems carrying out multi-step directions given orally
  • need to hear only one direction at a time
  • have trouble paying attention to and remembering information presented orally
  • may cope better with visually acquired information
  • having trouble paying attention and remembering information when information is simultaneously presented in multiple modalities (i.e., problems with multi-tasking)
  • need more time to process information
  • needing others to speak slowly

APD can manifest as problems determining the direction of sounds, difficulty perceiving differences between speech sounds and the sequencing of these sounds into meaningful words, confusing similar sounds such as "hat" with "bat", "there" with "where", etc. Fewer words may be perceived than were actually said, as there can be problems detecting the gaps between words, creating the sense that someone is speaking unfamiliar or nonsense words.

Those suffering from APD may have problems relating what has been said with its meaning, despite obvious recognition that a word has been said, as well as repetition of the word. Background noise, such as the sound of a radio, television or a noisy classroom can make it difficult to impossible to understand speech, depending on the severity of the auditory processing disorder. Using a cell phone can be problematic for a child with auditory processing disorder, in comparison with someone with normal auditory processing, due to low quality audio, poor signal, intermittent sounds and the chopping of words.

Many HFA kids who have auditory processing disorder subconsciously develop visual coping strategies (e.g., lip reading, reading body language and eye contact) to compensate for their auditory deficit, and these coping strategies are not available when using a cell phone

Those children who have APD tend to be quiet or shy – and even withdrawn from mainstream society due to their communication problems, and the lack of understanding of these problems by their peers.

One who fails to process any part of the communication of others may be unable to comprehend what is being communicated. This has some obvious social and educational implication, which can cause a lack of understanding from others. In grown-ups, this can lead to persistent interpersonal relationship problems.

Treatment—

Recent research has shown that practice with basic auditory processing tasks (i.e., auditory training) may improve performance on auditory processing measures and phonemic awareness measures. These auditory training benefits have also been recorded at the physiological level. Many of these tasks are incorporated into computer-based auditory training programs such as Earobics and Fast ForWord, which is adaptive software available at home and in clinics worldwide.

APD treatments include:
  • Auditory Integration Training typically involves a youngster attending two 30-minute sessions per day for ten days
  • Lindamood-Bell Learning Processes (particularly, the Visualizing and Verbalizing program)
  • Neuro-Sensory Educational Therapy
  • Physical activities (e.g., occupational therapy)
  • Sound Field Amplification

More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook
By

Kids on the Autism Spectrum & Lack of Demonstrated Empathy

“My son with high function autism is almost completely heartless when it comes to dealings with his younger sister. He’s rude and mean and sometimes aggressive with her. Is it common for a child with this disorder to have no empathy? Will this aggression become more violent over time?”

The lack of “demonstrated empathy” is possibly the most dysfunctional aspect of High-Functioning Autism (HFA). But I do use the term “demonstrated empathy” for a very important reason, and I want to be very clear about this: It’s not that these children have no empathy – they do. Rather, they often “give the impression” that they do not care about others. 
 
However, this is due to their “mind-blindness” and “sensory sensitivity” issues, and has little to do with their ability or willingness to have feelings for others.

Kids with an autism spectrum disorder experience difficulties in basic elements of social interaction, which may include the following:
  • lack of social or emotional reciprocity
  • impaired nonverbal behaviors (e.g., eye contact, facial expression, posture, gesture)
  • failure to seek shared enjoyments or achievements with others (e.g., showing others objects of interest)
  • failure to develop friendships

Unlike those with Autism level 3, youngsters with Autism level 1 (HFA) are not usually withdrawn around others. Instead, they approach others – even if awkwardly. For example, a child on the spectrum may engage in a one-sided, long-winded speech about a favorite topic, while misunderstanding or not recognizing the listener's feelings or reactions (e.g., the need for privacy or haste to leave). 
 
This social awkwardness has been called "active but odd." This failure to react appropriately to social interaction may appear as disregard for other’s feelings, and may come across as insensitive.

The cognitive ability of kids with HFA often allows them to articulate social norms in a laboratory context, where they may be able to show a theoretical understanding of other’s emotions; however, they typically have difficulty acting on this knowledge in fluid, real-life situations. 
 
Youngsters with the disorder may analyze and distill their observation of social interaction into rigid behavioral guidelines, and apply these rules in awkward ways (e.g., forced eye contact), resulting in a demeanor that appears rigid or socially naive. Also, childhood desire for companionship can become numbed through a history of failed social encounters.

RE: aggression. The hypothesis that children on the autism spectrum are predisposed to violent or criminal behavior has been investigated, but is not supported by data. More evidence suggests that kids with HFA are victims rather than victimizers. One review found that an overwhelming number of reported violent criminals with Aspergers ALSO had coexisting psychiatric disorders (e.g., schizoaffective disorder).

In a nutshell, what you’re dealing with may have more to do with good old fashion sibling rivalry than it does your son’s inability to empathize with others. But, having mind-blindness and sensory sensitivities does not give him a license to be aggressive with his sister. Aggressive behavior should be disciplined regardless of any autism-related deficits.
 
 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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By

Teenagers on the Autism Spectrum and Learning to Drive

"My daughter is 18 and has ASD [level 1]. Hers is particularly with anti-social behavior and thoughts. My entire family is ridiculing me for not forcing her to get her drivers license, but she is scared and doesn't want to. Should I force her to? Am I wrong?"

RE: "Should I force her to?" No. I'm pretty sure that would backfire. When teens get their driver’s license, parents get worried. And this worry is justified! Here are the alarming national teen driving statistics:
  • 16- and 17-year-old driver death rates increase with each additional passenger.
  • 16-year-olds are 3 times more likely to die in a motor vehicle crash than the average of all drivers.
  • 16-year-olds have higher crash rates than drivers of any other age.
  • About 2 out of every 3 teenagers killed in motor vehicle crashes are males.
  • About 2,014 occupants of passenger vehicles ages 16-20 who are killed in crashes are not buckled up.
  • About 2,500 drivers between the ages of 15 and 20 die in motor vehicle crashes every year.
  • About 31% of drivers ages 15-20 who are killed in motor vehicle crashes are drinking some amount of alcohol and 25% are alcohol-impaired (i.e., have a blood alcohol content of 0.08 grams per deciliter or higher).
  • About 37% of male drivers ages 15-20 who are involved in fatal crashes are speeding at the time.
  • About 63% of teenage passenger deaths occur in vehicles driven by another teenager.
  • About 81% of teenage motor vehicle crash deaths are passenger vehicle occupants.
  • Among deaths of passengers of all ages, 19% occur when a teenager is driving.
  • Crashes involving 15- to 17-year-olds cost more than $34 billion nationwide in medical treatment, property damage and other costs.
  • Drivers age 15-20 account for 12% of all drivers involved in fatal crashes and 14% of all drivers involved in police-reported crashes.
  • Hand-held cell phone use while driving is highest among 16- to 24-year-olds.
  • Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death among 15- to 20-year-olds.

Now, throw Aspergers (AS) or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) into the mix – and parents really do have something to worry about. For a teenager on the autism spectrum, it often takes quite a bit longer to learn all the implications of driving. What may be a problem for the young driver is the ability to judge what other road users, pedestrians, animals, etc. might do and how this should affect his driving. Understanding that not all drivers and other road users obey all of the rules all of the time is a real challenge for young drivers on the autism spectrum.

==> Discipline for Defiant Aspergers & High-Functioning Autistic Teens

Neurotypical (i.e., non-autistic) teens effortlessly talk on their cell phones when driving. They smoke cigarettes, eat a sandwich, sing to the radio, and nonchalantly discuss all sorts of topics with their passenger-friends. While they are doing all this multi-tasking, they also have to watch out for other cars in front of and behind them, shift gears, reverse, use the windshield wipers, brake, and so on.

However, for teens with AS and HFA to perform all the above tasks simultaneously is very difficult due their input system. When performing a task which requires concentration, most teens on the spectrum prefer total silence (or at least very little noise). They may not mind listening to a bit of music, but usually don't like someone talking to them because they have to (a) listen to what the other person is saying, (b) think of an answer, and (c) reply.

So how can parents ensure that their "special needs" teenager will not end up killing himself while on the road? Below are some critical tips to consider.

Driving Tips Specifically Related to AS and HFA—

1. Long before driving comes into the picture, be sure to help your child learn how to ride a bike. Learning to ride a bike as a youngster is a very good foundation for anyone with an autism spectrum disorder. Bike-riding skills will help the child become more aware of the possible actions of other drivers and pedestrians. Also having an instructor who is aware of the anxieties and other issues that AS and HFA teens will have goes a long way toward positive lessons where what is taught and being learned is remembered and recalled.

2. Have your teen take driving lessons with a driver education instructor, but double the amount of physical driving practice to help him really get used to reacting to normal driving situations.

3. Ask the instructor to allow your teen to take frequent breaks during driving instruction sessions.

4. Ask the instructor to use physical cues to help with estimating speed and distance. Also ask that the driving instructions be broken down into small sections.

5. Bring information that can help the driving instructor adapt strategies to help your AS or HFA teen understand better.

==> Discipline for Defiant Aspergers & High-Functioning Autistic Teens

6. Don't let your teen use computer simulation when practicing to drive. The teenager on the autism spectrum may not generalize the information well enough from computer to real life situations, plus it could confuse him.

7. Have a driving instructor assess your teen’s visual/motor skills. You want to know how easily he gets distracted.

8. Have you teen drive along familiar routes as often as possible. New routes and not knowing where they are going can easily distract and upset teens on the spectrum.

9. Have your teen continue to practice his driving skills even after he has already passed his driving test.

10. Help your teen apply for a driving license at the normal legal age, but be sure to put down Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism on the application at the DMV. It's against the law not to declare this on the application, but it won't disqualify your teen for getting a license.

11. Simulate situations in an empty parking lot that require avoidance steering, emergency breaking and distractions like loud music, water on the windshield and pedestrians until the teen driver is comfortable.

12. Teach your teen to remain calm when other drivers break the rules of the road. AS and HFA teens follow the rules of the road and the signs concretely, sometimes to a fault. Help your teen anticipate the actions of other cars by observing their behavior.

With the above information in mind, parents should be able to have some peace-of-mind knowing that their young driver with special needs will make it home safely with nothing more than an occasional fender-bender.

==> Discipline for Defiant Aspergers & High-Functioning Autistic Teens
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How to Discuss Puberty with Your Preteen on the Autism Spectrum

"Our son with high-functioning autism (age 12) has never really had the 'official' discussion about what to expect in puberty. We may have waited too long at this point, but in any case, how can we approach this topic in a way that a person with his challenges can understand (he takes most things very literally by the way - and is a bit immature for his age)?"

The teenage years can be trying for kids and their moms and dads. An autism diagnosis compounds the journey and makes it more complex. Thinking about a future of surging hormones can be very scary for moms and dads. We, as parents, feel a part of ourselves back in that intense and sometimes scary world of our own adolescence. Try not to let your own fears about your youngster’s changing hormones scare him or make him feel that the change he is going through is scary or bad.

A youngster with ASD level 1 or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can learn to cope with the trials and tribulations of puberty and the teenage years. Your son or daughter may have many questions, and it is important for parents to be tuned-in to what the teenager might be asking for. There are plenty of teachable moments in everyday life. For the conscious and aware mother or father, more often than not, kids teach us as much or more than we teach them. There is no shame in educating (or re-educating) ourselves to be equal to the task. 
 

Many changes happen around puberty, and these changes can certainly affect behavior, including in areas where your teen has already made so many strides. As with all teens, your adolescent may regress in some areas even while he continues to move forward in others. Furthermore, these changes can be unexpected and unpredictable.

HFA teens need information that matches their level of understanding. Your child needs to learn about puberty and the physical and emotional changes he may go through so that he can take some responsibility to piece together what will be happening to him.

Don't wait for your youngster to come to you with questions about his or her changing body — that day may never arrive, especially if your youngster doesn't know it is acceptable to talk to you about this sensitive topic. Ideally, as a mother or father, you've already started talking to your youngster about the changes our bodies go through as we grow.

It's important to answer questions about puberty honestly and openly — but don't always wait for your youngster to initiate a discussion. By the time children are 8 years old, they should know what physical and emotional changes are associated with puberty. That may seem young, but consider this: some females are wearing training bras by then and some males' voices begin to change just a few years later.

With females, it's vital that moms and dads talk about menstruation before they actually get their periods. If they are unaware of what's happening, females can be frightened by the sight and location of blood. Most females get their first period when they're 12 or 13 years old, which is about two or two and a half years after they begin puberty. But some get their periods as early as age 9 -- and others get it as late as age 16.
 

On average, males begin going through puberty a little later than females, usually around age 11 or 12. But they may begin to develop sexually or have their first ejaculation without looking older or developing facial hair first.

Just as it helps adults to know what to expect with changes such as moving to a new home or working for a new company, children should know about puberty beforehand.

Many children receive some sex education at school. Often, though, the lessons are segregated, and the females hear primarily about menstruation and training bras while the males hear about erections and changing voices. It's important that females learn about the changes males go through and males learn about those affecting females, so check with teachers about their lesson plans so you know what gaps need to be filled. It's a good idea to review the lessons with your youngster, because children often still have questions about certain topics.

When talking to children about puberty, it's important to offer reassurance that these changes are normal. Puberty brings about so many changes. It's easy for a youngster to feel insecure, and as if he or she is the only one experiencing these changes.

Many times, adolescents will express insecurity about their appearance as they go through puberty, but it can help them to know that everyone goes through the same things and that there's a huge amount of normal variation in their timing. Acne, mood changes, growth spurts, and hormonal changes — it's all part of growing up and everyone goes through it, but not always at the same pace.

Females may begin puberty as early as second or third grade, and it can be upsetting if your daughter is the first one to get a training bra, for example. She may feel alone and awkward or like all eyes are on her in the school locker room.

With males, observable changes include the cracking and then deepening of the voice, and the growth of facial hair. And just as with females, if your son is an early bloomer, he may feel awkward or like he's the subject of stares from his classmates.
 

Children should know the following about puberty:
  • A girl's period may last 3 days to a week, and she can use sanitary napkins (pads) or tampons to absorb the blood.
  • Both females and males have a growth spurt.
  • Both females and males often get acne and start to sweat more.
  • Males grow facial hair and their muscles get bigger.
  • Males' penises and testicles grow larger.
  • Males sometimes have wet dreams (i.e., they ejaculate in their sleep).
  • Males' voices change and become deeper.
  • Females and males get pubic hair and underarm hair, and their leg hair becomes thicker and darker.
  • Females become more rounded, especially in the hips and legs.
  • Females' breasts begin to swell and then grow, sometimes one faster than the other.
  • When a girl begins menstruating, once a month, her uterine lining fills with blood in preparation for a fertilized egg. If the egg isn't fertilized, she will have a period. If it is fertilized, she will become pregnant.

Not surprisingly, children usually have lots of questions as they learn about puberty. For you, it's important to make sure you give your youngster the time and opportunity to ask questions — and answer them as honestly and thoroughly as possible.

Let your youngster know that you're available any time to talk, but it's also important that you make time to talk. As embarrassing or difficult it may be for you to talk about these sensitive topics, your youngster will likely feel even more uncomfortable. As a parent, it's your job to try to discuss puberty — and the feelings associated with those changes — as openly as possible.

It can be made easier if you're confident that you know the subject matter. First, before you answer your youngster's questions, make sure your own questions have been answered. If you're not entirely comfortable having a conversation about puberty, practice what you want to say first or ask your youngster's doctor for advice. Let your youngster know that it may be a little uncomfortable to discuss, but it's an important talk to have.

If there are questions or concerns about pubertal development that you can't answer, a visit to your youngster's doctor may help provide reassurance.
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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Best Comment:

They should also be educated on the social changes. Aspies are socially and emotionally delayed producing an 9yr in an 11 or 12 yr old's body. My son became very confused when girls stopped playing with him and why boys his age didn't want to play with toys.

This is when girls and boys break into groups and say that boys/girls have 'cooties'. Some girls will have monthly mood swings, so explain to boys what's happening to the girl. (My Aspie nephew watches the calendar and stays out of his mother's way one week a month.)

It's also a time when boy have increased testosterone causing some to act as if they were in a primitive society that requires competition between males for their standing in the 'clan' (increase bullying, rule enforcers or 'tattle tales', female protectiveness, and so on.) If your son already has frequent melt downs, he'll have even more during puberty. 

Teach them early to control their anger and frustration. Explain what the bullies will do and act out situations so that your son will know what to do. If not, some Aspies, as a defense mechanism, will, after repeated bullying, become the bully. An example: my son has had to lean to ignore the bullies instead of hitting them; however, if he sees a girl or disabled kid being bullied, he becomes the protector - by hitting the bully. We are currently trying to teach him to either get a teacher or escort the victim away from the situation.

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