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Why Kids on the Autism Spectrum Prefer Things Over People




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Tips for Young People on the Autism Spectrum Who Are Considering Attending College

Question

My 'high functioning autistic' son needs help finding a job? He is really interested in art and is an excellent artist - a God-given talent. He has never gone to school and he is awesome. But I wanted him to go into that field and he is a little scared, he says that college is too hard. He doesn't really understand what I am trying to explain to him about taking just a few classes. I really think that he should pursue a career in that area. Any suggestions on how I can get him to follow that gift?

Answer

Most people who find actual work in the field of art have had some type of formal training (although this is not always the case). The occupations listed below represent some of the diverse career opportunities available to art majors. Some require additional education.

• Advertising Artist
• Animator
• Art Acquisition Specialist
• Art Agent
• Art Instructor
• Art Specialist
• Audiovisual Specialist
• Billboard Artist
• Book Designer
• Book Jacket Designer
• CAD Designer
• Cartoonist
• CD/Record Cover Designer
• Children's Book Illustrator
• Collection Manager
• Comic Strip Artist
• Corporate Designer
• Crafts-person
• Custom Decorator
• Desktop Publishing Artist
• Exhibit Designer
• Fashion Designer
• Flatware Designer
• Floral Designer
• Freelance Artist
• Furniture Designer
• Gallery Director
• Graphic Designer
• Greeting Card Artist
• Illustrator
• Interior Designer
• Jewelry Designer
• Journalistic Artist
• Letterer
• Magazine Designer
• Manager (Museum/Gallery)
• Medical Illustrator
• Museum Curator
• Package Designer
• Photographer
• Picture Framer
• Portrait Artist
• Potter
• Press Operator
• Printing Craftsman
• Production Artist
• Production Potter
• Production Coordinator
• Professor of Art/Art History
• Set Designer
• Stylist
• Tattoo Artist
• Technical Illustrator
• Textile Designer
• TV Graphic Designer
• Web Designer

Deciding to go to school/college – part-time or full-time – is a major decision for anyone. High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger's can bring additional considerations into the decision. Some may do best in a structured program for people with special needs, or even in a non-degree program that prepares them for living independently, either as an intermediate step before going on to college, or in place of an associate's or bachelor's degree. Others can thrive in more traditional college campus settings with less support.

All schools in the U.S. are required by law to make "reasonable accommodations" for people with documented disabilities. Young people on the autism spectrum should not be discouraged from applying to any school just because they are on the Autistic Spectrum. The fact that a school has not yet worked with these individuals does not mean that it would not be a good match for any given individual, or that it should be automatically ruled out.

However, if a school ends up failing to provide appropriate accommodations (or if they make a sincere effort, but lack the experience to make it work) the person with HFA is the one who will suffer the most. That is why a school's experience with autism spectrum disorders, and the services they currently offer, may need to be taken into account. Supports to insure the inclusion, retention, and success of people with HFA and Asperger's can - and should - be implemented at every college.
 

Here are some tips for young people with HFA and Asperger's who are considering attending college:

1. A tutor may be helpful, especially for the more challenging courses and for courses that require students to write papers and do independently structured projects. Tutorial services are often available. The program that provides disabilities services will be able to provide information about what is available and how to access these services.

2. Call and write home frequently for support and encouragement from parents.

3. Congratulate yourself for having the ambition to attend college and not letting yourself be limited by a limitation. If you’ve made it this far, there’s no telling what else you will do.

4. Consider taking a few classes online. People on the spectrum may be overwhelmed by the harsh lighting and noise from a classroom. You may want to check and see if a couple of your required classes may be taken online. However, be advised that taking classes online actually requires more self-discipline than in a traditional classroom.

5. Courses that require abstract verbal reasoning, flexible problem solving, extensive writing, or social reasoning are often challenging for people on the spectrum. Such courses may be valuable to take, but could require extra time and support. Taking courses in communication and psychology in order to improve social understanding and skills is advised.

6. Do your best! Instructors are usually very sensitive to people who have special needs. However, this also means they expect you to attend class unless you have medical documentation.

7. Due to difficulties in processing and screening sensory information, a distraction-free environment may be important for ongoing studying, and for taking tests.

8. Establish a medical care provider near your campus. This is extremely important because as a person with HFA, you have special medical conditions that many college people will not share. Do some research online or ask your hometown physician for a referral.

9. For many students with HFA, it is preferable to have a single room. This provides them with a sanctuary where they can control their environment, focus on their work and daily activities without distraction, and not be forced to engage in social interaction all the time. Having a roommate can be highly stressful. On the other hand, it is often helpful to have a mentor nearby.

10. For some students on the spectrum, a reduced course load can help keep the stress levels more manageable.
 

11. For many students with HFA and Asperger's, living on one’s own may be overwhelming at first. They often need more support than most college freshman for making social connections. All campuses have organized social groups and activities; most students on the spectrum will enjoy participating in some of these, but may need guidance in finding the right groups and getting introduced.

12. Have the number of a personal counselor nearby. You may have your good days and bad. Some issues can be especially daunting for a college student with HFA. There’s no shame in speaking with a counselor on campus that can help you work through those issues.

13. If you are planning on living in a dorm, you may want to let the administration know about your disorder or request a private room. If you are someone who is extremely sensitive to external stimuli (light, sound, etc.), you may want to be placed in a “study floor” instead of a “sorority wing.” Or, if possible, you may want to request a private room so that you have a little more control over your environment.

14. In lecture halls, seating can be important. Sitting at or close to the front, and sometimes in the center of the row, can make it easier to hear and understand a lecture. Some people on the spectrum find it easier to sit near the front but in an aisle seat, so that they have a bit more room to spread out and are less likely to be bumped.

15. In many colleges, the disabilities services program will write a letter to relevant professors, indicating that a person has a disability and may need accommodations. This letter might be the HFA student's responsibility to give to the teacher, or it might be sent out to each teacher. In either case, it is then likely to be the student's responsibility to follow up with the teacher and request specific accommodations (e.g., seating, time on tests).

16. It is important to be aware that most students with HFA and Asperger's need clear, systematic organizational strategies for academic work and probably for aspects of daily living. Calendars, checklists, and other visual strategies for organizing activities should be used by the special needs student.

17. Join an activity to meet people with similar interests to your own. Socializing is not something that always comes easily to people on the autism spectrum. Think of those activities you enjoy or in which you have succeeded. There are bound to be groups or clubs focusing on that activity.

18. Let your teachers know of your condition and what may be helpful to you. If possible, arrange a meeting with them before the beginning of the semester, but no later than the first week. They will probably respect your honesty and the initiative you are taking in your courses. Also, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Instructors are usually willing to help someone who asks for it.

19. Many people with HFA need a little longer to process information and organize responses. This can mean that they will take a little longer in responding to questions in class. It also means that he or she should receive the accommodation of extra time on tests.

20. Many students with HFA need extra time for thinking about problems and for completing work. This means that they may need longer than most students for reading and doing assignments. This should be taken into account in planning your course load so you will not be overwhelmed.
 

21. Many students on the spectrum will do best in courses that draw on factual memory and/or visual perceptual skills. A sensitive counselor or academic advisor can help guide him or her to a curriculum that will capitalize on his or her strengths and interests.

22. Obtain certification of your disorder from your medical professional. In order to obtain accommodations on a college campus (e.g., disability support services), you will probably be required to have documentation of HFA from a doctor, neurologist, or psychiatrist.

23. Seek career counseling as soon as possible. Finding a job after graduation is particularly challenging for people on the spectrum. Unfortunately, society tends to focus on the limitations that come with the word “autism” rather than the strengths. So you may want to write down some activities you really enjoy doing or perform particularly well. This can be very helpful for a career counselor who will work to provide you with some direction in terms of courses, volunteer, and internship opportunities.

24. Some classes include projects on which students work together in small groups. Sometimes talks must be given in front of the classes. Some professors include class participation as a component of the grade. These requirements can be challenging for students with difficulties in oral communication or in working as part of a group. When this is the case, you should be advised to talk to the professor about his or her disability early in the semester.

25. Some professors assign seating or have students remain in the same seat all semester. In this case, students may need to talk to the professor in order to arrange for seating needs. Sometimes seating is on a first-come, first-served basis all semester. In this case, you should get to the first class early.

26. Utilize your advisor. Take an active approach with your advisor. It can’t hurt to mention your disorder so you can work with your advisor to find a career that is compatible with your strengths. Share the results of any career testing with your advisor, so that you may receive more guidance.

27. When applying for college or a program, it is a good idea to indicate your disability. Of course, you are not required to do so. However, state institutions are not permitted to discriminate against someone due to a disability.

28. Without delay, locate the disability support services on campus. This is very important, as they will likely be the professionals who will arrange (or provide verification) for you to receive necessary accommodations to perform well in your courses.

29. Write down your strengths as well as your limitations. Society tends to focus on the limitations of autism spectrum disorders rather than the strengths. You need to advocate for yourself by writing down what you do well and those tasks in which you have succeeded.

30. Try to think through various aspects of daily life on campus, to figure out the likely pitfalls, and provide written guidelines, checklists, or advance training/preparation, for example:
  • budget
  • building in time for physical exercise
  • campus maps
  • dorm rules
  • e-mail and instant messaging
  • finding rest rooms
  • first aid and how to take care of oneself during a minor illness
  • handling fire drills in the middle of the night
  • how lectures work
  • laundry
  • learning about and participating in dorm activities
  • library hours and how to get help from a librarian
  • meal plans and their rules
  • spending money
  • student health services and medical emergencies (and non-emergencies)
  • transportation
  • using a campus ID and charge card
  • using communal bathrooms
  • using the alarm clock
  • where to eat at non-meal times

==> Launching Adult Children With Aspergers: How To Promote Self-Reliance

How to Reduce Hostility in Kids on the Autism Spectrum

How To Lessen Power Struggles: Tips for Parents of Kids on the Autism Spectrum

“I have a 12 year old boy with high functioning autism …we just got the news 2 weeks ago after many years of …'oh it’s this', 'oh maybe this' …so now we're at autism. We are at our breaking point with him. So here goes... 

He is very defiant and out of control …he cusses a lot and does inappropriate things …like tonight he peed in a soda can and said his brother did it. When I cleaned his bathroom, he had written ‘f*** you’ on the wall. He has no respect for anything or anyone. He follows NO rules and we can’t get him to do anything. I don’t know what to do or where to go to get help! Where do we even start?”

Defiance is a strange animal for sure. What if I told you that your son isn’t trying to be a pain in the ass, but rather using some of these disturbing behaviors as a coping mechanism?

1- Your first step is to investigate and try to discover your son’s underlying insecurities and vulnerabilities. His oppositional behavior starts with feeling insecure. High-functioning autism comes with a host of symptoms, and often times a child’s only response in dealing with the associated challenges is to act-out. Why? It’s very likely that he feels he has little control over his circumstances in life. Defiance is a way for him to have at least some control over his environment.

2- The second step would be for you to regain your son’s trust and confidence, and somehow slip under his defiance so that you can offer him what he needs. His “misbehavior” is the result of an unmet need (usually the need to have some control). Investigate and try to figure out what he REALLY needs. No child finds joy in upsetting everyone in the house. He knows his behavior is causing conflict (and to be at odds with parents - day in and day out - is also a self-esteem breaker).
 
==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

If you have had ongoing power struggles with him, he may be at a place where he does not trust you completely. He may not be sure whether your attempts to soothe will be comforting or upsetting. He may be used to getting yelled at. As a result, he can trust only himself. Convince your son that you have his best interest at heart and that you want to provide him with what he needs. This isn’t about punishment, it’s about meeting his needs. And yes, sometimes a parental correction for misbehavior or a consequence for a poor choice meets one of his needs.

3- Put yourself in your child’s shoes. The oppositional child, with his ongoing need to be the boss and his chronic power struggles with you, does indeed contribute to problems in the parent-child relationship. However, it’s crucial to understand that children on the autism spectrum are very prone to being overwhelmed and overloaded due to sensory sensitivities, executive function challenges, social skills deficits, and mind-blindness (just to name a few).

4- Your son likely uses bossiness and defiance as a coping strategy to feel secure. To protect himself, he shuts out part of the world, including you at times. Having said this, your next step would be to reframe your child’s defiance. In other words, instead of a viewing it as willful misconduct, begin to view it as a coping strategy to have some control in his life.

==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

5- Lastly, you will need to set some firm limits. Being sympathetic doesn’t mean always giving your son what he wants or allowing him to be hurtful or rude to others. Gentle limits coupled with empathy and flexibility will gradually help your son be less critical of you and himself.




In a nutshell, one of his major needs is most likely the need to control. You want him to do one thing – he may want to do the exact opposite. Thus, your main mission should be to find ways that he can feel he has some control in his life without acting-out.

For starters, put him in charge of doing some things that would be age-appropriate (e.g., planning a meal, doing a particular chore, suggesting a different route to the Mall, what TV show the family will watch, what place the family will visit on the next family outing, etc.).

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here
to read the full article...

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
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A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...

How to Reduce School-Related Anxiety in Students on the Autism Spectrum

“My daughter with high functioning autism is always anxious in the mornings before school to the point where it has become quite a chore to get her out the door and on the bus (lots of weeping, complaining about her stomach hurting, talking about wanting to just stay home…). Would you have some ideas on how I can help her not be so stressed about going to school?”

Here are a few important tips that can help children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s (AS) to reduce their anxiety as it relates to school:

1.  Acknowledge your daughter’s fear. Hearing "it’ll be O.K." when you're anxious about something doesn’t usually help. It probably won’t comfort your daughter much, either. The most crucial thing you can do for a youngster dealing with school-related anxiety is to accept that her fears are real to her. If nothing else, you'll guarantee that she won't be scared to talk to you about them.

2.  Ask, "What three things are you most happy about?" Most kids can think of something positive, even if it's lunch or just going home after school. Chances are your daughter has things she enjoys about school that just get drowned out by all the spooky stuff. Bring those positive things out into the light.

3.  Also ask, "What three things are you most afraid of?" Making your request specific can help your daughter sort through a confusing array of emotions. If she can’t name the things that are most troublesome, have her tell you any three things (or the most recent three things).

4.  Remember that all kids feel some stress about school, even the ones who seem popular and happy-go-lucky. Knowing this won't alleviate your daughter's stress, but it may alleviate yours.

5.  Role-play. Once you have some specific examples of stress-provoking events, help your daughter discover an alternate way to cope with them. Discuss possible scenarios and play the part of your daughter in some role-playing exercises, letting her play the part of the difficult teacher or bullying peer. Model appropriate and realistic responses and coping strategies for her.

6.  Let your HFA child know that she can always talk to you, no matter what. It's not always required even to have solutions to her difficulties. Sometimes just talking about things out loud with a loving parent makes them seem less intimidating. If the situation does become too much for your daughter to handle, you want to be the first to know about it.

7.  Know when to get step in and assist. Most kids experience school-related stress to some degree, and some feel it more intensely. When does it become a big enough issue to require professional help? Some signs to look for are major changes in friends, sleeping and eating habits, and attitude and behavior. If you've developed a good rapport with your daughter and she suddenly doesn't want to talk about what’s going on at school, that's a red flag too.

8.  Don’t try to fix everything. There are some cases in which moms and dads do have to take action. For example, if your daughter is being bullied or is having trouble because an IEP isn't being followed, there are steps you should take. But you'll also want to teach your daughter that some things in life just have to be dealt with, even though they suck. Correct only what's really badly broken.

9.  Routines help alleviate stress. Creating a regular bedtime, wake-up time, and bath time is important at all ages. It’s also important that “special needs” kids learn to develop routines for themselves.

10.  Set a regular time and place for talking with your youngster (e.g., in the car, on a walk, during mealtimes, just before bed, etc.). Some kids on the autism spectrum will feel most comfortable in a comfy private space with the parent’s undivided attention, but others may welcome some sort of distraction to reduce the intensity of sharing their emotions.

11.  Understand the value of crying. It’s a great anxiety reliever and flushes out negative feelings. It's hard to see a child crying, and the parent’s first instinct may be to help her stop as soon as possible. But after the tears have all come out, your daughter may be in a particularly receptive mood for sharing what’s going on inside her. Offer a comforting and supportive presence, but let the tearfulness run its course.

12.    Family meetings are very important. Set a weekly time to regroup and to talk about what's going on and how it will work (e.g., who gets the shower first, what time to set the alarm clocks for, etc.). Also, give everyone a chance to have their input.  

Highly Acclaimed Parenting Programs Offered by Online Parent Support, LLC:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

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Do you need the advice of a professional who specializes in parenting children and teens with Autism Spectrum Disorders?  Sign-up for Online Parent Coaching today.

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