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Teens on the Autism Spectrum Who Threaten Suicide

"Do people with Aspergers (or high functioning autism) often take action on the threats they make when they blow up? My sister (who died tragically 5 years ago) has a 18 yr old so with AS. When he gets really worked up, he threatens to kill himself and 'take others with him'. His threats of suicide are often paired with 'if I don't get what I want', not 'I am so depressed I want to die'. These threats seem to be more of a bullying technique instead of a cry for help. I hesitate to call the police because there is no other topic that sets him off more than the police."

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Parents, families and teachers need to keep a watchful eye on the emerging teenager who has an autism spectrum disorder. Know the warning signs and learn about the three D's = drugs, depression and dangerous activity.

Some teens with ASD or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can deal with social isolation, but others can't, so that makes them depressed, question the reason for living, and ask themselves if there's any point in carrying on.

Often times, these "special needs" adolescents are discriminated against and outright bullied. They may be harassed to conform and fit into the humdrum “Neuro-Typical” society. Some will take their own lives if the heat gets too high.

Perhaps, if suicide is a problem with this group, it would be due to the fact that it is more difficult for them to connect emotionally with other people. They also don't realize that they will hurt others by taking such drastic action on themselves. It is overwhelming for them because basic things for some take so much effort for this group of people – and it is too easy for them to be disconnected emotionally from people.

Like all mental conditions which cause people to behave differently from the norm, autism spectrum disorders are associated with depression. Depression can be caused by a number of things including:
  • Anxiety and Panic Attacks
  • Fatigue or Tiredness due either to the condition or to the treatment of the condition
  • Guilt or regret over past actions/outburst/meltdowns
  • Miscommunications
  • Misunderstandings
  • Overwhelming feelings and thoughts
  • Social troubles because you do not seem to fit in

Teenagers on the spectrum need the love and support of family and friends more than the average teenager.

Having said this, your sister's son needs to know that if he makes threats to "take others with him" outside of the home (e.g., at school), his threats will be taken very seriously. So, to let him get away with these threats at home may not be in his best interest, because it is not representative of how the real world operates.

As one parent stated:  

"This is a very touchy subject, coming from former law enforcement. It is so super hard to know the right thing to do because they threaten so often it is almost like the boy that cried wolf thing - BUT IF he were to follow through and hurt a sibling or burn something down or hurt someone else, YOU as the parent will also be charged criminally, and your other children removed from the home because the way the law would see the situation is this: 'You KNEW he was capable of doing it and YOU CHOSE to keep it quiet and keep your other children in the situation, therefore YOU have KNOWINGLY endangered your other children'. I have been faced with this exact scenerio personally. It is so hard to know what the right thing is and the lst thing any of us want to do is feel like we could ever be put in a situation to be forced to chose between our children :( "

 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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Finding Which Behavior Problems to Target First: Tips for Parents of Kids on the Autism Spectrum

Your child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) or Asperger’s (AS) seems to have a multitude of behavioral and emotional issues. Which ones should you attempt to address first? With so many problems, where do you start?

A careful analysis of the most problematic symptoms is crucial, because the choice of interventions is influenced by symptom traits. Moreover, the wide array of symptoms results in the tendency of those closest to the HFA or AS youngster to lose sight, over time, of the intervention targets.

When parents (and teachers) turn their attention to a new troubling cluster of symptoms, an intervention that has been effective may be reinterpreted as ineffective. Being attentive to symptom traits allows the parent to measure effects and introduce helpful responses. 
 
==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens High-Functioning Autism

The most important traits to consider include the following:
  1. Distribution of the behavior problems
  2. Intensity of the behavior problems
  3. Onset: Time and Location of the behavior problems
  4. Duration of the behavior problems
  5. Ameliorating Factors for the behaviors
  6. Aggravating Factors for the behaviors
  7. Trends of the behavior problems: upward or downward

1. Distribution—

The distribution of behaviors is a term for the frequency of symptoms over time. It may be obvious, but it’s worth underscoring that for most kids on the autism spectrum, the frequency of symptoms changes within days, weeks, and months. Thus, having a good awareness of the course of a symptom is important for monitoring the behavior problem.

The early, short-term effects of a particular behavioral intervention may not be the most reliable ones for predicting the overall effect that intervention delivers. Frequency also is related to settings and circumstances. Aggression or perseverative behaviors often increase or appear under certain circumstances (e.g., when there are many people talking, or when there are crowds). As a result, for behaviors that are periodic, it’s useful to rate the behavior at the time when it’s most frequent or likely to surface, rather than a general rating throughout the day, week, or month. 
 
==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens High-Functioning Autism

2. Intensity—

Intensity is a measure of the energy the child uses when engaging in the behavior. It also can be helpful to base this rating on the ease with which the child may be redirected to another, different line of behavior.

3. Onset: Time and Location—

The onset of symptoms is often related to a time and a location. The parent’s ability to know when and where symptoms surface, or under what circumstances they surface, is helpful in rating progress. When symptoms are concentrated to specific times or places, parents should first consider behavioral or educational interventions carefully. It may be that greater direction for certain activities, a break from interaction, or modifying the expectations for the HFA or AS youngster in an activity, will go a long way toward reducing maladaptive behaviors.

If a symptom only occurs in one setting, then this may lead the parent to consider intensive behavioral interventions first. More generalized behaviors can lend themselves more to pharmacologic treatments, because it can be difficult to maintain uniform responses across many different settings for behavioral interventions.

4. Duration—

Duration is self-explanatory.

5. and 6. Ameliorating and aggravating and factors—

These can indicate what triggers a behavior or what sustains it.

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

7. Trends—

The reason to consider the trend of a behavior (i.e., whether it’s increasing or decreasing) is that an intervention that is introduced as a behavior is winding down may be wrongly considered as having helped. Often, parents seek treatment for their child when a behavior is peaking in severity. For periodic situations, by the time a therapist intervenes, the behavior may be cycling down by itself. Thus, it’s often helpful to wait before intervening in order to learn about the pattern of a behavior.

Obviously, this can’t be considered when the risks to safety or jeopardy to other aspects of the child’s wellbeing prevent the therapist from taking this time. If there is some doubt about whether symptoms may respond to behavioral treatment, or if one is unsure whether things have improved or remained the same, the therapist should wait.

Case in point—

A 10-year-old girl with autism (high-functioning) was brought to treatment for picking behaviors that had become a part of her bedtime routine. Each night, she would dig at her arms. After extensive efforts by the parents to learn about the pattern of her behavior, it appeared that it was influenced by the course of interactions at school during the day. 

Although the child herself didn’t make the connection between being teased or having arguments with peers and her self-picking, it was possible to use relaxation techniques to reduce the intensity and duration of this behavior. In addition, the child’s mother and father were able to talk with her in the early evening about specific events from throughout the day that created angst before she went to bed. Overtime, the behaviors were significantly reduced (although they didn’t disappear altogether).


Highly Acclaimed Parenting Programs Offered by Online Parent Support, LLC:
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Family Stress and Establishing Intervention Priorities for Kids on the Autism Spectrum

When prioritizing interventions for the child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA), parents should decide which factors contribute to an adverse family environment.

A common mistake made by doctors and therapists who work with families affected by autism spectrum disorders is to treat the HFA symptoms, when in fact it’s the parent's depression or anxiety that is a major contribution to family strain. (Note: Sibling-conflict may also be a factor contributing to family strain.)

Often, high levels of parental stress lead therapists to prescribe for the “special needs” youngster rather than educate parents and recommend that they obtain therapy. This is not to say that parents and siblings must be infinitely adaptable to the HFA child’s problematic symptoms, or that family problems are always the result of parental issues. The point is that family distress has many sources. 
 

Using medication in certain cases may reduce the HFA child’s inflexibility, instability, and anxiety, and therefore improve life at home for everyone. However, if the persistent anxiety of raising a youngster on the autism spectrum has fueled depression or anxiety in his or her parent, or has inflamed conflict in the marriage, usually treating only the “special needs” youngster is not enough. To treat issues in the parent(s), or the tension between partners/spouses, it is most likely that specific treatment is needed.

The quantity, scale, and range of difficulties experienced by children with HFA can be confusing. Everyone involved, the child, parents, and even teachers, can be swept up in this difficulty. The first challenge is to create the hierarchy of symptoms - and the problems they create. Often, problems fall into a cluster of symptoms. The primary task of the parent is to determine which symptoms should be targeted first. Creating a hierarchy of specific symptoms lends itself to methods for behavioral modification.

Questions and “order of consideration” when approaching this dilemma include symptoms that (a) threaten the safety of the child, family members, or others; (b) create anxiety for the child; (c) are sources of adversity in the family's life; and (d) jeopardize sustained educational progress.

Safety is the most persuasive reason that kids on the autism spectrum are referred for therapy. Aggression and violent outbursts are common in many on these young people, and they may engage in other types of risky behaviors (e.g., throwing or destroying objects). In addition, there are traits of the disorder that make aggression and self-injury harder to control. 
 

Additional factors that may contribute to problematic behavior in the HFA child include the tendency to engage in repetitive and stereotyped behaviors, rigid adherence to patterns or behaviors, lack of empathy for others, deficits in generalizing from one circumstance to another, and deficits in abilities to soothe and comfort themselves. As a result, the safety to kids on the spectrum - and those around them - are the highest priority.

The child’s emotional distress takes center stage once safety is not a primary worry. Kids on the autism spectrum who are sad, anxious, or continually irritable have great difficulty learning, monitoring themselves, and “reading” their environment. Their emotions override their abilities to recognize events and think through the solutions to everyday problems.

Also, in many cases they can’t respond with the necessary flexibility to the rapidly changing demands of the social world. As a result, emotional distress often destroys opportunities to learn information, increase social relating, and gain new social skills. A child who is constantly upset will not be able to demonstrate his or her actual abilities.

The effects of an HFA youngster's symptoms on a family are diverse, and some symptoms can be extremely challenging. Adverse effects on a family can be difficult to isolate - and harder still to quantify. Sometimes, the symptoms exhibited by kids on the autism spectrum exceed what parents can manage.

The way parents adapt to the “special needs” youngster grows out of a complex interplay of his or her social skills, deficits, temperament, and the limitations and demands of other family members that must be met. 


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
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High-Functioning Autism and Asperger’s: A Normal Variant of Personality?



All the traits that describe High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s (AS) can be found in varying degrees in the normal population. For example:

  • People differ in their levels of skill in their ability to read nonverbal social cues.
  • The capacity to withdraw into an inner world of one's own special interests is available in a greater or lesser measure to everyone. In fact, this ability has to be present in those who are creative artists, scientists, mathematicians, musicians, etc.
  • A lot of people have outstandingly rote memories - and even retain vivid imagery into adult life.
  • Collecting objects (e.g., stamps, old glass bottles, or railway engine numbers) are socially accepted hobbies. 
  • Many who are capable and independent as grown-ups have special interests that they pursue with marked enthusiasm. 
  • People differ in their levels of skill in social interaction.
  • There is an equally wide distribution in motor skills.
  • Pedantic speech and a tendency to take things literally can also be found in many people.

In one documented case, a man whose visual memories of objects and events were so vivid and so permanent that they interfered with his comprehension of their significance, appeared to behave like someone with Asperger’s. However, he did not meet enough of the criteria to actually receive the diagnosis of the disorder.

The difference between someone with HFA or AS and the “neurotypical” (i.e., non-autistic person) who has a complex inner world is that the neurotypical does take part appropriately in two-way social interaction most of the time, whereas the HFA or AS person does not.

Also, the neurotypical, however elaborate his or her inner world, is influenced by social experiences, whereas the person on the autism spectrum seems cut off from the effects of outside contacts.

People are usually diagnosed with HFA or AS because they are at the extreme end of the normal continuum on all these characteristics. In a few of these individuals, one particular aspect may be so marked that it affects the whole of their functioning. 

Even though HFA and AS do appear to merge into the normal continuum, there are many cases in whom the problems are so marked that the suggestion of a distinct “disorder” seems a more likely explanation than a “variant of normality.”


Highly Acclaimed Parenting Programs Offered by Online Parent Support, LLC:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

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Do you need the advice of a professional who specializes in parenting children and teens with Autism Spectrum Disorders?  Sign-up for Online Parent Coaching today.
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The Top 5 Social Skills to Teach Children on the Autism Spectrum

Difficulty with social skills is not isolated to kids with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s. Many of these young people exhibit difficulties with a variety of social skills for numerous reasons.

However, a social skills program developed to address general social impairments doesn’t adequately address the social skills deficits specific to HFA and Asperger’s.

When selecting social goals for intervention, it’s crucial that parents prioritize and address the skill deficits that are most relevant to their child (e.g., eye contact may be a greater priority than negotiation skills, given its significance in social interaction, such as monitoring other’s reactions to indicate interest or engagement).

In addition, it’s important that all instructional activities have an underlying social purpose. Make clear to your child how and why the goals selected are relevant for him or her.

The five broad skills that are particularly relevant to HFA and Asperger’s are: social problem-solving skills, play and friendship skills, emotion-processing skills, conversational skills, and basic interactional skills.

Specific social skills to teach should include the following:

•  Conversation skills need to cover basic elements of how to start, maintain, and end a conversation. The subtler aspects of conversations should be included as well (e.g., asking questions of others, choosing appropriate topics, joining a conversation already underway, making comments, taking turns in conversation, and using nonverbal indicators to express interest).

•  It’s crucial to teach basic friendship and relationship skills. The concept of friendship and the important qualities of being a good friend should be discussed, listed, and practiced (e.g., compromising, following group rules, greeting others, responding to greetings, sharing and taking turns, and joining groups).

•  It’s also important for parents to teach the nonverbal behaviors that are important to social interaction (e.g., appropriate eye contact, social distance, voice volume, facial expression, etc.).

•  Parents should also help their child to understand thoughts and feelings of self and others. You can begin by increasing emotion recognition and vocabulary skills, because most kids on the autism spectrum are not familiar with emotional terms beyond the basics.

•  Perspective-taking and empathy training are two other great skills to teach. Here, you want your child to act out situations in which different people think different things or have different underlying motives.

•  Social problem-solving should be taught (e.g., what to do when your youngster is teased, feels left out, or is told “no”). The focus here is on the development of practical solutions, coping mechanisms, and self-control for difficult interpersonal situations.

•  Make use Social Stories to introduce new social skills. Social Stories are “written illustrations” that present social information. Although they provide some specific guidance about what to do or say in a social situation, they also highlight social cues, the motives or expectations of others, and other information that the child may not have appreciated.

Your youngster should be aware of his or her personal target goal and should be “reinforced” for meeting it throughout the social skills training you implement (e.g., reinforcement charts posted on the wall, goal or point cards, cups in which the goal is affixed and tokens are placed, etc.).

For new or emerging skills, the child can be reinforced the moment the skill is displayed spontaneously. 

For more information on teaching social skills to children with HFA and Asperger's, click on the link below:

==> https://www.social-skills-emotion-management.com
 
 
More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:
 
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2024 Statistics of Autism in Chinese Children

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) has emerged as a significant public health concern worldwide, and China is no exception. As of 2024, new rese...