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Anxiety-Management: Tips for Parents of Children on the Autism Spectrum

Young people with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s are prone to greater anxiety in their daily lives than their “typical” peers. 

Social interaction, especially with more than one person, inevitably increases anxiety to a point where the child’s coping mechanisms may deteriorate.

Situations in which he or she has to identify, translate, and respond to social and emotional cues – and cope with unexpected noise levels – often result in a meltdown. 

Parents can – and should – teach their “special needs” child traditional relaxation methods using activities to encourage muscle relaxation and breathing exercises as a counter-conditioning technique. But, parents must also consider the circumstances in which their child is particularly prone to anxiety.

Environmental modification can significantly reduce anxiety in kids on the autism spectrum (e.g., having a safe area for periods of solitude to relax or concentrate on schoolwork, minimizing distractions, reducing noise levels, etc.). If the parent recognizes that a particular event is a major cause of anxiety, then it would be helpful to consider whether the source could be avoided (e.g., recommending the temporary suspension of homework).

At school, one option for the HFA youngster who becomes anxious on the playground is to be able to withdraw to the school library, or for the child who is stressed about socializing during the lunch break, to complete a crossword puzzle in a quiet area.

Another source of anxiety for kids on the spectrum is unexpected changes. Thus, they often need advance preparation and time to adjust to the new task or activity.

Cue-controlled relaxation is another useful part of an anxiety-management plan. One strategy is for the child to have an object in his or her pocket that symbolizes (or has been classically conditioned to) elicit feelings of relaxation.

For instance, one girl with HFA was a passionate reader of fiction, her favorite book being The Secret Garden. She kept a key in her pocket to symbolically open the door to the secret garden, a make-believe place where she felt calm and joyful. A couple minutes touching or looking at the key helped her to visualize a scene mentioned in the book and to calm down and reach a more confident state of mind.

Another example was a boy on the autism spectrum who had a special picture in his backpack of a beach scene, which reminded him of the time his family vacationed in Florida and he collected seashells found in the sand. He viewed the picture frequently whenever he was in the throes of a stressful event.




 
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...
By

Attribution Retraining: Helping Kids on the Spectrum to "Check the Evidence" Before Reacting

CLICK TO ENLARGE

One common effect of misinterpretation for children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) is the development of distrust in others (perhaps even mild paranoia). This is largely due to impaired Theory of Mind skills in the cognitive profile of these young people.

A “theory of mind” is the ability that we all have in order to make sense of the world we live in. Every person’s thoughts, knowledge, beliefs and desires make up his or her own unique theory of mind. Kids on the autism spectrum have some difficulties conceptualizing and appreciating the thoughts and feelings of others. It’s this “mind-blindness” that makes it difficult for these young people to be able to relate to - and understand - the behaviors of others. By failing to account for other’s perspectives, kids on the autism spectrum tend to misinterpret their messages.
 
==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Mind-blindness also means the HFA child has difficulty in distinguishing whether someone's actions are intentional or accidental. “Typical” (i.e., non-autistic) kids will know from the context, body language, and character of the other person involved that the intent was not to cause distress or injury. But, children on the autism spectrum often focus primarily on the act and the consequences (e.g., “He bumped into me and it hurt, so it was intentional”), whereas most typical children would consider the circumstances (e.g., “He was running, tripped, and accidentally fell into me”).

With HFA children, there may need to be training in checking the evidence before over-reacting to the event and/or person in question. This training is called “attribution retraining.” The “mind-blind” youngster often blames others exclusively and tends not to consider his or her own contribution – or conversely, the youngster can excessively blame him/herself for events.

One aspect of HFA is a tendency for some children to adopt an attitude of arrogance where the perceived focus-of-control is external. When the “special needs” child believes he was the victim of some form of injustice, the “perpetrator” may be held responsible and become the target for retribution or punishment.

Kids on the spectrum have considerable difficulty accepting that they themselves have contributed to the event. However, the opposite can occur when the child has extremely low self-esteem and feels personally responsible, which results in feelings of anxiety and guilt.

In addition, kids on the spectrum often have a strong sense of what is right and wrong – and may exhibit a striking reaction if others violate the social “laws.” The youngster may be notorious as the class “policeman,” dispensing justice but not realizing what is within his or her authority.

Attribution retraining involves establishing the reality of the situation, the various participants' contributions to an incident, and determining how the HFA or AS child can change his/her perception and response.
 
==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

A part of social-skills training for your HFA child will revolve around how he “attributes” his success, and will likely require some attribution retraining to take place.  This is when you retrain your child to think about his success as something he actively influences, not something of which he is a victim. 

There are 4 main factors to which we can attribute success or failure: effort, ability, luck, and task difficulty:
  • A child attributing “effort” may say, “I worked hard/was lazy, that’s why I did so good/didn’t accomplish my goal.”
  • A child attributing “ability” may say, “I’m so intelligent/stupid, this is why I succeeded/failed.”  
  • A child attributing “luck” may say, “I was/wasn’t wearing my lucky shirt today, which is why I won/lost the game.”  
  • A child attributing “task difficulty” may say, “The test was so easy/hard, that’s why I passed/failed.”

Children don’t have any control over luck or task difficulty, and ability is gained through gaining knowledge and skills. Thus, the only aspect that children can directly influence on a regular basis is their effort.  This is where attribution retraining takes place. 

When a child attributes her success or failure to something outside her effort, it’s the parents’ opportunity to redirect her (i.e., attribution retraining).  The child who adopts an effort-based belief gains an “internal locus of control” (i.e., believes she is in control of circumstances) and subsequently feels empowered.  The child comes to believe that she has enough ability that – with effort – she can be successful.


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
----------
 
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...
By

Helping Your Irrational Child on the Autism Spectrum to Be More Rational

CLICK TO ENLARGE

Children with ASD level 1, or High-Functioning Autism, are known to misinterpret other people’s feelings, motives, behaviors, etc. “Cognitive restructuring” is a fancy term that simply means helping these young people to correct their distorted conceptualizations and dysfunctional beliefs. The process, which parents can implement, involves challenging their current thinking with logical evidence and ensuring the rationalization and cognitive control of their emotions.

The first stage is to establish the evidence for a particular belief. Kids on the autism spectrum can make false assumptions of their circumstances and the intentions of others. They have a tendency to make a literal interpretation (e.g., a casual comment may be taken out of context or may be taken to the extreme).

For instance, a teenage male with ASD was once told his voice was “breaking.” He became extremely anxious that his voice was becoming faulty and decided to consciously alter the pitch of his voice to repair it. The result was an artificial falsetto voice that was incongruous in a young man.

In another case, an adolescent female with Asperger’s overheard a conversation at school that implied that girls MUST BE slim to be popular. She then achieved a dramatic weight loss in an attempt to be accepted by her peers.

We’re all vulnerable to distorted thoughts and beliefs, but children with autism are less able to put things in perspective, seek clarification, and consider alternative explanations or responses. Thus, it’s important for parents to encourage their child to be more flexible in his or her thinking and to seek clarification using questions or comments (e.g., “Are you kidding?” or “I'm puzzled about what you just said.”).

Such comments also can be used when misinterpreting someone's intentions (e.g., “Did you mean to do that?”) and to rescue the situation after the child has made an inappropriate response with a comment such as, “I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to offended you,” or “My mistake. What should I have done?”

To explain a new perspective or to correct errors or assumptions, comic strip conversations can help the ASD child to determine the thoughts, beliefs, and intentions of the other person(s) in a given situation. This technique involves drawing an event or sequence of events in storyboard form with stick figures to represent each participant, and speech and thought bubbles to represent their words and thoughts.

You and your child can use an assortment of fibro-tipped colored pens, with each color representing an emotion. As you write in the speech or thought bubbles, the child’s choice of color indicates his or her perception of the emotion conveyed or intended. 
 
This can clarify the child’s interpretation of events and the rationale for his or her thoughts and response, and can also help to identify and correct any misperception and determine how alternative responses might affect others’ thoughts and feelings.
 
 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
----------
 
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...
By

Affective Education: Teaching Children on the Autism Spectrum About Emotions


Does your child have difficulty expressing troubling emotions using his or her words rather than acting-out? Does your child seem to lack an understanding about the emotions of other people? If so, here are some ways to educate your child on the subject:

The main goal of Affective Education is to teach children with ASD level 1, or High-Functioning Autism (HFA), why they have emotions, their use and misuse, and the identification of different levels of expression. A basic principle is to explore one emotion at a time as a theme for a project.

The choice of which emotion to start with is decided by the parent (or teacher), but a useful starting point is happiness or pleasure. A scrapbook can be created that illustrates the emotion. This can include pictures of people expressing the different degrees of happiness, but can be extended to pictures of objects and situations that have a personal association with the feeling (e.g., a photograph of a rare lizard for a child with a special interest in reptiles).

The content of the scrapbook also can include sensations that may elicit the feeling of happiness or pleasure (e.g., aromas and textures), and/or can be used as a diary to include compliments, and records of achievement (e.g., certificates and memorabilia).
 
==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Affective Education includes the parent describing - and the child discovering - the relevant cues that indicate a particular level of emotional expression in facial expression, tone of voice, body language, and context. The face can be described as an “information center” for emotions.

The typical errors that children with HFA make when trying to comprehend emotions include not identifying which cues are relevant or redundant, and misinterpreting cues. The parent can use a range of games to “spot the message” and explain the multiple meanings (e.g., a furrowed brow can mean anger or bewilderment, or may be a sign of aging skin; a loud voice does not automatically mean that an individual is angry).

Once the key elements that indicate a particular emotion have been identified, it’s important to use an “instrument” to measure the degree of intensity. The parent can construct a model “thermometer,” “gauge,” or volume control, and can use a range of activities to define the level of expression (e.g., the parent can create a selection of pictures of happy faces and place each picture at the appropriate point on the instrument).

Some kids on the spectrum can use extreme statements (e.g., “I am going to kill myself”) to express a level of emotion that would be more moderately expressed by a “non-autistic” child. During a program of Affective Education, the parent often has to increase the child’s vocabulary of emotional expression to ensure precision and accuracy.

Affective Education not only includes activities to detect specific degrees of emotion in others - but also in oneself. The child (and those who know him well) can create a list of his physical, cognitive, and behavioral cues that indicate his increase in emotional arousal. The degree of expression can be measured using one of the special instruments mentioned earlier (e.g., an emotion thermometer). One of the aspects of Affective Education is to help the child perceive his “early warning signals” that indicate emotional arousal that may need cognitive control.
 
==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

When a particular emotion and the levels of expression are understood, the next part of Affective Education can be to use the same procedures for a contrasting emotion. For example, after exploring happiness, the next emotion explored might be sadness. Feeling relaxed would be explored before a project on feeling anxious. In addition, the child should be encouraged to understand that certain thoughts or emotions are “antidotes” to other feelings (e.g., some strategies or activities associated with feeling happy may be used to counteract feeling sad).

Many children with HFA have considerable difficulty translating their feelings into conversational words. The parent can create “comic strip conversations” that use figures with speech and thought bubbles (e.g., a cartoon of an angry boy who is thinking to himself, “I’m really upset right now”).

Other activities to be considered in Affective Education are the creation of a photograph album that includes pictures of the child and family members expressing particular emotions, or video recordings of the child expressing her feelings in real-life situations. This can be particularly valuable to demonstrate the child’s behavior when expressing anger.

Another activity called “Guess the Message” can include the presentation of specific cues to indicate doubt (e.g., a raised eyebrow), surprise (e.g., wide-opened mouth and eyes), disgust (e.g., crinkled nose with tongue sticking out), and so on.

Lastly, it’s important to incorporate the child’s special interest in the program (e.g., a child whose special interest is the weather and has suggested that his emotions are expressed as a weather report). 


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
----------
 
By

Adjusting the Physical Environment to Decrease Anxiety and Increase Compliance in Kids on the Spectrum

To make interventions that will decrease anxiety and increase compliance in children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s, parents need to create an environment in which their youngster feels comfortable and has an understanding of the events taking place around him or her. 

The environment needs to provide:
  • Structure
  • Routine
  • Predictability
  • Organization
  • Consistency
  • Logically explained rules
  • Clear rewards and consequences in response to these rules

When this is in place, the “special needs” youngster will begin to feel competent.

Here are the 4 steps to creating an optimal environment for young people on the autism spectrum:

1. Reinforcers (i.e., things that increase desired behavior) will need to be very individualized, because kids and teens with HFA and Asperger’s often don’t respond to typical reinforcers. Parents must be well aware of what their youngster views as a reward. Points to consider:
  • Reinforcers can cause difficulties if they are used too frequently. Not only will they lose their potency, but problems will arise over the giving - or not giving - of the reward.
  • Parents need to make sure their youngster is aware of how the reward/consequence system works. 
  • Natural consequences can be highly effective and will remove the "giving" or "denying" of the reward from parents (e.g., "If you finish your morning routine within 10 minutes, you will have time to play your favorite video game before school. If you take too long, you will not be able to play"). 
  • Incorporating the child’s obsessions into a reinforcement system is an appropriate way of offering a strong reinforcer and of also controlling access to the obsession. 
  • Favored activities should follow less favored or challenging activities.
 
2. At home and school, develop a daily routine so that the HFA or Asperger’s youngster knows what he or she is doing - and when. Points to consider:
  • Posting a schedule and reviewing it when the youngster becomes "stuck" can provide the necessary prompt to move on.
  • As parents review the schedule, they not only lessen anxiety, but also provide an opportunity to discuss appropriate responding. 
  • Compliance is not a struggle between the parent and child, but rather simply a matter of following the schedule. 
  • For teenagers, rather than using a written schedule, parents could use a desk calendar or day planner, which accomplishes the goal of providing a visual guide.
  • Parents should establish a routine for only a small portion of the day if they feel a day-long schedule would be too great a change for their youngster (e.g., create a schedule for an activity, such as going to the store, as an easier place to start). 
  • The child should view the schedule as a “guide.” A guide will serve to decrease anxiety, which in turn decreases behavior issues. 
  • When developing a schedule, number the items on it (e.g., 1, 2, 3 and so on), but avoid assigning times to each event or activity. It’s difficult to do things to the minute, and failure to do so can lead to further distress for the youngster.

3. The parent-child relationship with the HFA or Asperger’s youngster must be consistent in both word and action. Points to consider:
  • Interactions must be stable, allowing the youngster to anticipate how he or she will respond.
  • Make requests and follow through. Don't make second requests, and don't plead.
  • Make the rules and stick to them! Going "easy" on the child or giving him or her a "break" from the rules periodically will hinder the parent’s effectiveness.
  • Parents must be highly organized and pay attention to details as they create a structured environment for their youngster; however, they must also be able to remain flexible within this structure. By doing so, they will provide the structure their youngster needs to learn to be flexible as well.
  • The child must see the parent as a predictable person – a person in control, who is calm, and who keeps his/her word. 
  • The child must also see the parent as someone who can help him/her understand the world around him/her. 
  • And the child must view the parent as his or her helper or problem-solver. If the parent is only seen as a problem-causer, his or her effectiveness will be minimal.

4. The physical environment must be consistent. Points to consider:
  • Use the letters of the youngster's name placed on a chart to keep track of consequences. Throughout the day, if letters have been received, they can slowly be erased for positive responding. This provides a good visual response for appropriate behaviors, and parents can deliver this feedback (depending on the youngster's needs) every ten minutes, fifteen minutes, two hours, or whatever the parent thinks will work best.
  • Use charts with stickers to keep track of reward systems. 
  • Use consistent materials that are clearly marked and accessible (e.g., toys that are within easy reach and stored in or near the area they will be used).
  • Parents need to identify clear physical boundaries (e.g., a planned seating arrangement in school or a planned play area at home). 
  • In all locations, parents need to identify consistent areas where specific activities are completed (e.g., homework is always completed at the desk or kitchen table).
  • Expectations, rules, rewards, and consequences should be visually available – and must be clearly described to the youngster.
  • Certain designated areas/activities should have consistent behavioral expectations, which are explained to the youngster (e.g., "At my desk I do calm sitting; calm sitting is modeled and practiced”).

The creation of an effective environment will take time and will require parents to examine more details than they knew existed. The reward, however, will be the relief of watching the HFA or Asperger’s youngster leave his or her anxieties and problematic behaviors behind. Parents will see the child begin to really trust them and take chances he never thought he could. Parents will witness their child’s gradual and steady steps into a larger world. 

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Crucial Strategies for Parents of Challenging Kids on the Autism Spectrum

    Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum :   ==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children ...