“Is it common for children on the high functioning end of autism to hate touch and avoid being hugged, held, etc.? My grandson will rarely show affection.”
Although it can happen, it is rare for kids with Level 1 Autism (High-Functioning Autism) to "refuse" to be touched at all times - in all situations. However, it is fairly common for these kids to have tactile sensory issues, which may make them avoid certain types of physical contact with others on occasion.
BUT... this really has nothing at all to do with the inability - or lack of desire - to show or receive affection. Autistic kids are the most loving and affectionate people I know! So please don't make the mistake of taking your grandson’s lack of interest in physical contact as a personal insult.
One of the most pervasive myths that surround Level 1 Autism is that a youngster who has it will never show affection and can’t accept getting affection from anyone. There have been hundreds of stories of parents taking their youngster to a psychologist and the doctor telling the parents something like, "Your youngster can’t possibly have an Autism Spectrum Disorder because he gives you a hug now and then."
While this assessment is incorrect, studies have shown that Level 1 Autistic kids do process sensory touch differently than a "typical" youngster, and that this is where the myth that kids on the spectrum don’t like to be touched comes from.
Level 1 Autism and the way it affects kids really runs the gamut from light to severe. An excellent point to remember when dealing with an autistic child is that everyone is different and will react to almost everything differently.
Here are some tips for showing your grandson affection:
1. For a few Autistic kids, a simple, random hug can be sensory overload. They can become agitated, upset and even violent if they are touched without prior warning. You will probably need to have a trial and error approach when it comes to hugging and touching your grandson. Some methods may be responded to in a positive way, other ways won’t be. You just have to try and see.
2. If you think your grandson needs a hug, instead of rushing into his personal space and just taking one, speak to him, bend down to his level and open your arms. Smile and let him know that he is loved and see what the response is. If he doesn't come running in for a hug, don’t be offended. It may just not have been the right time.
3. If your grandson is too sensitive to hugs or touches to show affection, you can try positive reinforcement in addition to hand singles. Things like a simple thumbs up accompanied by a smile and some positive comments can let him know he is loved and what he did was good. You can also offer him a chance to hug during these situations - and he might just take you up on it.
4. Make sure everyone is on the same page. If you are starting to make progress on getting your grandson to be more affectionate, you don’t need his sibling, another family member, or a teacher who doesn’t know or understand his boundaries messing up all of your hard work. If you’ve begun to implement an affection program with him, make sure everyone who would possibly try to hug or touch him knows the rules.
Consistency and repetition are crucial to kids on the autism spectrum, and this applies to a situation like this as well. Trying to figure out a puzzling condition like high-functioning autism and Asperger’s can be a lifelong challenge. For many parents and grandparents, the affection issue may be the biggest. But with patience and learning to go by the youngster’s cues and not your own, you will be able to connect with your grandson in a deep and meaningful way.
More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:
Early intervention is key to optimal outcomes for kids on the autism spectrum. There's little doubt that young people with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) who undergo therapy at an early age, be it behavioral or developmental, do better than kids who don't. And there's certainly no good reason for parents to wait to provide such therapy.
Even a little progress is far better than none, especially when that progress comes in the form of new social skills that allow the special needs youngster to “fit-in” with his or her peer-group. While early intervention is extremely important, intervention at any age can be helpful.
Even if your youngster has not been diagnosed with AS or HFA, he may be eligible for early intervention treatment services. The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act states that kids under the age of 3 who are at risk of having developmental delays may be eligible for services. In the U.S., these services are offered through an early intervention system in each State. Through this system, parents can ask for an evaluation. Also, treatment for particular symptoms (e.g., speech therapy for language delays) often does not need to wait for a formal diagnosis.
The first five years of life are crucial to a child’s development and growth. To intervene before age five can help the AS or HFA youngster learn new social and communication skills at a time when she is most able to grasp them. In addition, she can unlearn problematic behaviors before they become deep-rooted. Kids on the autism spectrum who are younger are usually easier to teach because they have less time to develop unwanted behaviors before they become habit. For example:
Speech therapy works best with younger kids. Correcting errors in speech early on can be easier than waiting years later after the youngster has already become used to certain mouth movements and pronunciations.
It is easier to implement new dietary interventions with a younger boy or girl before long-term food preferences are entrenched. A preschool child, while having some food preferences of course, can often be convinced to change her diet with repeated introductions to new foods. This is essential since many therapeutic interventions address possible food allergies (e.g., gluten, casein).
It is much easier to teach a 4-year-old not to tantrum as compared to a 7-year-old.
There are many different types of therapies available (e.g., vitamin therapy, sensory integration therapy, physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, music therapy, facilitated communication, discrete trial training, auditory training, anti-yeast therapy, etc.). The different types of therapies can generally be broken down into four categories:
Medication
Dietary Interventions
Complementary and Alternative Medicine
Behavior and Communication Interventions
Medication— While there are no medications that can “cure” AS or HFA, or even treat the main symptoms, there are medications that can help most children with related symptoms (e.g., hyperactivity, inability to focus, anxiety, depression, seizures, etc.). (Click here for more information.)
Dietary Interventions— Many biomedical interventions call for changes in the child’s diet (e.g., removing certain types of foods, using vitamin or mineral supplements, etc.). Dietary therapies are based on the idea that the lack of certain supplements and/or food allergies cause (or worsen) symptoms of AS and HFA. (Click here for more information.)
Complementary and Alternative Therapies— To relieve the symptoms of AS and HFA, some moms and dads use therapies that are outside of what is typically recommended by their doctor (e.g., special diets, treatment to remove heavy metals like lead from the body, biologicals, deep pressure, etc.). (Click here for more information.)
Behavior and Communication Interventions— Behavior and communication methods that help kids with AS and HFA are those that provide structure, direction, and organization for the youngster in addition to family participation. A notable treatment method for these special needs children is called Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). ABA has become widely accepted among mental health professionals and is used in many schools and treatment facilities. ABA discourages negative behaviors and encourages positive behaviors in order to improve a variety of skills. There are different types of ABA (click here for more information), for example:
Verbal Behavior Intervention (VBI) is a type of ABA that focuses on teaching verbal skills.
Pivotal Response Training (PRT) aims to increase the AS or HFA youngster’s motivation to learn, monitor her own behavior, and initiate communication with others.
Early Intensive Behavioral Intervention (EIBI) is a type of ABA for younger kids on the autism spectrum (below the age of 5).
Discrete Trial Training (DTT) is a type of therapy that uses a series of trials to teach each step of a desired behavior or response. Lessons are broken down into their simplest parts, and positive reinforcement is used to reward correct answers and behaviors while incorrect answers are ignored.
Additional Therapies— Other therapies that can be part of a complete treatment program for a youngster with AS or HFA include the following:
The Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS) uses picture symbols to teach communication skills. The child is taught to use picture symbols to ask and answer questions and have a conversation.
TEACCH uses visual cues to teach certain skills (e.g., picture cards can help teach a youngster how to get dressed by breaking information down into small steps).
Speech therapy helps to improve the child’s communication skills.
Sensory integration therapy helps the child deal with sensory information. The therapy aids the AS or HFA youngster who is troubled by certain tastes, smells, sounds, or does not like to be touched.
Occupational therapy teaches skills that help the AS or HFA adult live as independently as possible.
FLOORTIME focuses on emotional and relational development (e.g., feelings, relationships with parents/teachers/peers). It also focuses on how the youngster deals with sensory overload.
What about moms and dads whose kids on the spectrum weren’t identified soon enough for early intervention?
Many kids with AS and HFA are indeed “high-functioning” enough that they are not identified until they enter elementary school. It is only as they get older and their classmates surpass them socially and behaviorally that problems become noticeable. Not every youngster shows signs of autism before the age of 6, or the signs are so few and far between that they are missed. The higher-functioning youngster can compensate for his deficits, and peers may just pass him off as being odd or “quirky.” The entire pattern of behavior has to be evaluated, and unless the youngster is having issues that significantly disrupt his daily functioning at home or school, no “red flags” pop up.
Parents should not blame themselves in this case. Simply begin the process of seeking help when you discover the need for it. Later intervention is certainly better than no intervention. Rather than dwelling on what wasn’t done or what you “should have noticed,” focus on what can be done now. With the right intervention, older kids with AS and HFA (since they are high-functioning) can catch up rather quickly in most cases.
More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:
"Question: How to know what triggers my son's (high functioning autistic) difficult behavior? Thanks in advance!"
Many parents of children with ASD - Level 1 [High-Functioning Autism] have discovered that some of their youngster’s behaviors make no obvious sense and do not serve any clear purpose. But when these children engage in “odd” or confusing behavior, they are also sending the parent hidden clues about things that are important to them. Thus, it’s the parent’s job is to break the code so she can interpret the clues.
By becoming more like a “detective,” parents can begin to notice coded messages they didn’t see before, and as a result, find more effective ways to help their “special needs” youngster. Becoming a good detective also helps parents respond more carefully to peculiar behaviors so they don’t unintentionally reinforce or reward them.
Parents of autistic children can begin to develop “investigator skills” by recording problematic behaviors, similar to how Jane Goodall studied chimpanzees. For example:
Is the child attempting to avoid a demanding task?
What activities or interactions take place just prior to the problematic behavior?
Does the same thing often happen first?
What time do these events most often happen?
Are there any settings where the behavior does not occur?
In what settings is the behavior observed?
Is the behavior problem associated with certain social or environmental conditions?
What usually happens immediately after the behavior?
Most difficult behaviors are triggered by an event. Just as you might suddenly feel thirsty as you walk past a lemonade stand, there are “triggers” in your youngster’s life that elicit certain behaviors. Use a diary to try to identify these triggers for your youngster’s most challenging behaviors. Instead of getting upset with your child when he or she acts-out, look for how the context is out of synch with him or her. View the incident as an opportunity to learn more about your child.
Here is a good example of items to list in your diary:
Behavioral Investigation—
Date: ______
Describe the behavior of concern: _______________
How can I tell the behavior is about to start? _______________
How intense is the behavior? _______________
How long does it last? _______________
How often does the behavior occur? _______________
What behavior(s) might serve the same function for my child that is appropriate within the social/environmental context? _______________
What conditions are most likely to precipitate (“set-off”) the behavior? _______________
What does my child get or avoid? _______________
What is happening when the behavior occurs? _______________
What is the likely function (intent) of the behavior (i.e., why do I think my child behaves this way)? _______________
What usually happens after the behavior? _______________
When/where is the behavior most/least likely to occur? _______________
With whom is the behavior most/least likely to occur? _______________
What other information might contribute to creating an effective behavioral intervention plan (e.g., under what conditions does the behavior not occur)? _______________
Cognitive, Behavioral, and Moral Inflexibility in Kids on the Autism Spectrum
Here are some crucial things to consider when doing your investigation:
1. As with any child, being hungry, thirsty, or tired can make your youngster grouchy. A chronic illness or low-grade infection can cause behavioral issues as well. Try to discover any – and all – possible sources of pain (e.g., abscesses, broken bones, bruises, cuts and splinters, gut, infections, acid reflux, sprains, teeth, etc.).
2. Consider sensory and emotional regulation. Your youngster’s sensory experiences are very different from the “typical” child. He is likely easily overwhelmed by information coming in through the senses (e.g., loud noises) and isn’t getting enough input from the senses responsible for self-awareness and regulation. We all know about the five senses: taste, touch, smell, sound, and sight. But there are two additional senses that are important to understand: the vestibular sense (controls balance) and proprioception (the sense of one’s body in space). In many autistic children, some of the information from these senses is too little, too much, or distorted – leading to feelings of anxiety, physical pain, or disengagement. As a result, the child may “act-out” behaviorally as a way to cope.
3. Coordination problems can contribute to stress and behavior issues. For example, as anyone who has ever been picked last for a team knows, gym class can be nerve-wracking. If your youngster has trouble undoing zippers or buttons, the short time allotted for bathroom breaks or locker room changes can add tremendous pressure. Also, if the child walks awkwardly, negotiating a crowded hallway between classes is anxiety-producing. These issues often influence “acting-out” behaviors that, unfortunately, may result in the child receiving some form of punishment.
4. Peer-rejection is a big contributor to difficult behaviors. For example, maybe your son realizes he has no friends, so recess time is particularly tough for him. Also, do some investigation to see if bullying or teasing is an issue.
5. Attention-span difficulties can influence behavior, resulting in unwarranted punishment from teachers. For example, your youngster may “tune-out” during class because the teacher or the subject matter isn’t engaging enough. Talk with your child’s teacher if this appears to be an issue.
6. Some problematic behaviors, especially those that seem abrupt or particularly odd, may be due to seizures. If you think this could be an issue, keep a very careful record of what you observe. Also, see if your youngster’s teacher has similar observations.
7. Changes in home-life can contribute to behavior problems (e.g., health crisis, job change, move, new sibling, mom and dad going through a divorce, etc.). Often times, well-meaning parents think their “special needs” child is handling everything fine, so there is no reason to be concerned. But if parents are stressed about something, chances are their youngster will be, too – especially if she is powerless to do anything about it.
8. Try to identify any food sensitivities or allergies that could be troubling your youngster. Look for the signs of a problem in this area (e.g., red/flushed cheeks or ears, diarrhea within a few hours of eating a particular food, etc.). Food sensitivity is often one of the biggest contributors to “mysterious” and sudden changes in behavior.
In summary, rather than viewing your child’s behavior as “misbehavior,” look attentively for the clues that he or she is sending by conducting your own investigation. With a little good detective work, parents can narrow down exactly what initiates certain unwanted behaviors. Then, once the problem has been identified, parents are in a much better position to employ effective prevention and intervention strategies.
More resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
"I have a little boy with high functioning autism that is feeling a lot of dread now that he has returned to school. I would welcome some ideas on how to make this transition as smooth and stress free as possible."
Preparing kids with Aspergers (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) for the new school year requires a little more than making sure uniforms fit and backpacks are filled with all the necessary school supplies. Most U.S. schools will open their doors in August. Before then, moms and dads need to ensure all their documents are in order, transportation is prepared, and good communication is established with their youngster's school.
Here are 25 ways in which you can help your youngster prepare for the new school year:
1. Ask the school whether you will be able to walk your child into the classroom and hand him off to the teacher. Find out how long you will be able to stay. If you suspect that your son or daughter might have a hard time saying goodbye, by all means speak with the teacher now and make a plan for how to handle the first day.
2. Ask the teacher to provide you with the daily class routine so that you can review this schedule with your child at home.
3. Be sure all children lay out clothes the night before, that lunches are made, and that everyone gets enough sleep and a healthy breakfast. Plan to arrive at school early so you have time for meaningful goodbyes. And don’t forget that “first day of school” photo before you leave home!
4. Bring a camera and ask to take photos of the new classroom, teacher and surroundings.
5. Create a “Transition Book” for your child. This is a book about your youngster’s new teacher and class. You can use the photos you took during your meeting at the school. Look at the book regularly to help your child become familiar with the new environment.
6. Encourage your child’s questions by asking what she thinks school will be like. Emphasize the things you think she’ll enjoy, but be sure not to minimize her fears. Children can be stricken by worries that parents might find silly (e.g., finding the bathroom at school). Normalize any fears and reassure her that she will have fun, that the school can reach you if necessary, and that your love is always with her even when you aren’t.
7. Facilitate bonding with the other children. Children are always nervous about their new teacher, but if they know any of the other children, they’ll feel more at ease.
8. Facilitate your child’s bonding with the teacher. All children need to feel connected to their teacher to feel comfortable in the classroom. Until they do, they are not ready to learn. Experienced educators know this, and “collect” their students emotionally at the start of the school year.
9. Find out what other children are in your child’s class and arrange a play date so she’ll feel more connected if she hasn’t seen these children all summer.
10. Get your child back on an early to bed schedule well before school starts. Most children begin staying up late in the summer months. But children need 9 ½ to 11 hours of sleep a night, depending on their age. Getting them back on schedule so they’re sound asleep by 9pm to be up at 7am for school takes a couple of weeks of gradually moving the bedtime earlier. Imposing an early bedtime cold turkey the night before school starts results in a youngster who simply isn’t ready for an earlier bedtime, having slept in that morning and with the night-before-school jitters. In that situation, you can expect everyone’s anxiety to escalate. So keep an eye on the calendar and start moving bedtime a bit earlier every night by having children read in bed for an hour before lights out, which is also good for their reading skills.
11. Get yourself to bed early the night before school so you can get up early enough to deal calmly with any last minute crises.
12. If a younger sibling will be at home with you, be sure your child knows how boring it will be at home and how jealous you and the younger sibling are that you don’t get to go to school like a big kid. Explain that every day after school you will have special time with your big girl to hear all about her day and have a snack together.
13. If you’re new in town, make a special effort to meet other children in the neighborhood. Often schools are willing to introduce new families to each other, allowing children to connect with other new students in the weeks before school starts.
14. If your youngster gets teary when you say goodbye, reassure her that she will be fine and that you can’t wait to see her at the end of the day. Use the goodbye routine you’ve practiced, and then hand her off to her teacher. Don’t leave her adrift without a new attachment person, but once you’ve put her in good hands, don’t worry.
15. Let your child choose his own school supplies, whether from around your house or from the store, and ready them in his backpack or bag.
16. Make sure you’re a few minutes early to pick your child up that first week of school. Not seeing you immediately will exacerbate any anxieties he has and may panic him altogether. If your child cries when you pick him up, don’t worry. You’re seeing the stress of his having to keep it together all day and be a big boy.
17. Moms and dads need to review special education documents such as individualized education plans, or IEPs, and meet with principals and, if possible, educators to ensure everyone is on the same page as far as the students' needs are concerned -- from modified teaching lessons to transportation. Moms and dads should go through their youngster's IEPs before the school year starts and make a list of anything ambiguous, or something you don't quite understand. After completing your homework, you may realize that your child's IEP is lacking or needs adjustment. You may want to consult with an independent professional (e.g., psychologist or behaviorist) and/or convene with the IEP team to discuss your youngsters changing needs. Moms and dads can call an IEP meeting at any time, and the district is required to hold the meeting at a mutually convenient date/time within 30 calendar days (beginning with the first day of school and excluding any breaks that are two weeks or more). As always, be sure to make your request in writing.
18. Once school has started, check-in with your child’s new teacher on a regular basis to see if the transition has been successful.
19. Research shows that children forget a lot during the summer. If your child has been reading through the summer months, congratulations! If not, this is the time to start. Visit the library and let him pick some books he’ll enjoy. Introduce the idea that for the rest of the summer everyone in the family will read for an hour every day.
20. Share your own stories about things you loved about school.
21. Start conversations about the next grade at school or about beginning school. One good way to do this is to select books relating to that grade. Your librarian can be helpful. Get your children excited by talking about what they can expect, including snack, playground, reading, computers, singing and art. If you know other kids who will be in his class or in the school, be sure to mention that he will see or play with them.
22. Take advantage of any orientation opportunities. Many schools let new students, especially in the younger grades, come to school for an orientation session before school begins. If the school doesn’t have such a program, ask if you and your child can come by to meet the new teacher for a few minutes a day or so before school starts. Educators are busy preparing their rooms and materials at that time, but any experienced teacher is happy to take a few minutes to meet a new student and make him feel comfortable, since she knows that helps her students settle into the school year.
23. The day before school starts, talk about exactly what will happen the next day to give your child a comfortable mental movie. Be alert for signs that he is worried, and reflect that most children are a little nervous before the first day of school, but that he will feel right at home in his new classroom soon.
24. There are many books and computer applications for kids that tell social stories. Provide your child with social stories that model appropriate behavior at school and with other kids.
25. Try to arrange for your child to travel to school that first morning with a youngster he or she knows. Even if they aren’t in the same classroom, it will ease last minute jitters.
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning.
Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him,
rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression.
As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and
depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.
Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown
temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from
ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child
is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are
totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the
least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into
the next - the meltdown can return in full force.
Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the
autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a
teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an
average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for
even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’
disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.
Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and
he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse
strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face
many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for
teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one
mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do." Click here to read the full article…
Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are
“mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and
intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to
identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits
reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he
or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish,
insensitive and uncaring. Click here to read the full article...
Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her
“out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress,
anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have
difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults
may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display
symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.
"Any tips on how to help my high functioning child who has problems making friends, mostly because he initiates conversations that are off-topic or one-sided? He also has problems following conversations from others - so he reverts back to his topic of interest (make sense?)."
Pragmatic speech is language used to communicate and socialize (e.g., knowing what to say, how to say it, when to say it, and generally how to “act” around others during conversation). Many children with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) have difficulty using language in various social situations – even though they may have large vocabularies and are able to speak in full sentences that are clearly articulated. These “special needs” children may say words clearly and use long, complex sentences with correct grammar, but still have a communication problem if they haven’t mastered the rules for social language known as pragmatics.
Children with pragmatic speech issues may embarrass their parents (albeit unintentionally because they lack social skills) by making what others view as rude comments. They may have little variety in language use, say inappropriate or unrelated things during conversations, or tell stories in a disorganized way.
Pragmatics involve 3 major communication skills:
Changing language according to the needs of the listener or situation (e.g., talking differently to a baby than to a grown-up, speaking differently in a classroom than on a playground, giving background information to an unfamiliar listener, etc.)
Following rules for conversations and storytelling (e.g., how close to stand to someone when speaking, how to use facial expressions and eye contact, how to use verbal and nonverbal signals, introducing topics of conversation, rephrasing when misunderstood, staying on topic, taking turns in conversation, etc.)
Using language for different purposes (e.g., requesting, promising, informing, greeting, demanding, etc.)
All kids have pragmatic difficulties in some situations. But, if problems in social language use occur often and seem inappropriate considering your youngster's age, he or she may have a pragmatic disorder. Children with Pragmatic Language Disorder have particular trouble understanding the meaning of what others are saying, and they are challenged in using language appropriately to get their needs met and interact with peers.
Young people with the disorder often exhibit the following:
aphasic speech (e.g., word search pauses, jargoning, word order errors, word category errors, verb tense errors)
delayed language development
difficulty explaining or describing an event
difficulty extracting the key points from a conversation or story
difficulty following conversations or stories
difficulty in distinguishing offensive remarks
difficulty in making and maintaining friendships and relationships because of delayed language development
difficulty in reading comprehension
difficulty understanding choices and making decisions
difficulty understanding contextual cues
difficulty understanding questions
difficulty understanding satire or jokes
difficulty with organizational skills
difficulty with pronouns or pronoun reversal
difficulty with reading body language
difficulty with verb tenses
stuttering or cluttering speech
tendency to be concrete or prefer facts to stories
tendency to get lost in the details
tendency to initiate conversations that are "off-topic" or "one-sided"
tendency to repeat words or phrases
Pragmatic disorders often coexist with other language problems (e.g., vocabulary development, grammar). In addition, pragmatic problems often lower social acceptance (e.g., peers may avoid having conversations with the affected child).
Language Problems in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism
Pragmatic Language Skills Development—
Moms and dads can help their AS and HFA children to use language appropriately in social situations (i.e., pragmatics). Here are some general suggestions to help develop these skills:
1. As often as needed, encourage your child to rephrase or revise an unclear word or sentence. Provide an appropriate rephrase or revision by asking, "Did you mean _____?"
2. As often as possible, take full advantage of naturally occurring “teaching-situations” throughout the day. For instance, have your child practice (a) requesting necessary materials to complete a project, (b) greetings at the beginning of a day, (c) saying goodbye to friends, (d) asking siblings what they want to eat for lunch, and so on.
3. Demonstrate how nonverbal cues are important to communication (e.g., talk about what happens when a facial expression does not match the emotion expressed in a verbal message, such as using angry words while smiling).
4. Pretending to talk to different people in different situations is a great pragmatics exercise (i.e., role-playing different conversations). For instance, create a situation in which your child has to explain the same thing to several people, such as how to make a grilled cheese sandwich or play a particular game. Model how your child should talk to a peer versus a grown-up, or a sibling versus a stranger.
5. Teach storytelling skills. Provide visual cues (e.g., pictures, objects, etc.) or a story outline to help tell a story in sequence.
6. Teach the use of “persuasion.” For instance, ask your child what she would say to convince you to let her do something. Discuss different ways to present a message. For example, indirect (“I wish I could go next door to see my friend.”) versus direct (“Can I go next door and see my friend?”), or impolite (“I’m not going to eat those green beans!”) versus polite (“Can I please have something other than green beans for my vegetable?”).
7. When your child speaks, respond to his “intended” message rather than correcting his grammar or pronunciation. Also, provide an appropriate model in your own speech. For instance, if your child says, "That's how it doesn't work," you can respond with, "Correct. That's not how it works.”
Kids with pragmatic language impairment are often unable to vary their language use, to relate information or stories in an organized way, or to say appropriate and “on-topic” things during conversations. Pragmatic speech disorder can also be related to difficulties with grammar and vocabulary development. As kids get older and more social skills are demanded, peers may avoid conversation with the child experiencing pragmatic speech problems. As a result, these “special needs” kids have fewer friends, are less accepted in social situations, and may be bullied or teased by peers.
If you think your AS or HFA youngster may have a pragmatic speech problem, contact a local licensed speech pathologist for an evaluation.
More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:
“Is it common for children on the high functioning end of autism to hate touch and avoid being hugged, held, etc.? My grandson will rarely show affection.”
