"What are some ideas that teachers can use to help an autistic child with meltdowns?!"
Meltdowns can be difficult and frightening to children with Asperger’s (AS) and High Functioning Autism (HFA), as well as to their parents and siblings. However, the good news is that with just a few critical changes, the household can move past such episodes fairly easily. The affected child will feel more in control of his or her feelings/reactions and will, hopefully, come to trust that help will always be there.
Here are a few simple strategies that parents and teachers can use to lessen the intensity and frequency of autism-related meltdowns:
1. Initiate some dietary changes: There is no specific diet for AS or HFA children, but removing certain proteins may relieve symptoms. The gluten-free, casein-free diet has the most research and is one of the most common dietary interventions. About 25% of young people on the autism spectrum find relief and improvement with this diet. It excludes gluten, casein, the protein in wheat, and the protein in milk. In theory, these kids improve on the diet because incomplete breakdown of these proteins creates a substance that inflames the gut. Research has shown improvement, and parents anecdotally report success when these two proteins are removed from their child’s diet.
2. Provide a safe zone: A large closet or a pop-up tent can be effective in calming your youngster by providing her with some “alone-time.” Place soothing objects inside (e.g., bean bag, soft blanket, favorite book, iPod, etc.).
3. Teach “cause and effect” early in your child’s life: “Experiential learning” can be difficult for kids with AS and HFA, and it will become increasingly challenging as the youngster matures and grows. If the results of behavior are felt early in life, it will create resiliency for these children. Thus, make a connection between your youngster's misdeed and the discipline that results (i.e., cause and effect). Let him experience the negative consequences of his poor choices whenever possible.
4. Employ diversionary tactics: Creating a diversion will take your youngster’s attention elsewhere, thus possibly avoiding a meltdown (e.g., taking a walk, singing a song, making silly faces – anything that makes her laugh).
5. Identify “meltdown triggers”: Do some research on your child’s triggers (especially if they aren’t obvious) to determine what factors were in place that resulted in a meltdown. Create a list of things going on before behavior took a turn for the worse, and see if you can find some patterns.
Shutdowns: The Opposite of Meltdowns
6. Identify some sensory-soothing techniques that work for your child: Find out the colors, textures, sounds and feelings she finds peaceful (e.g., pastel colors, squeeze balls, white noise such as a fan blowing, etc.).
7. Break down large tasks into smaller chunks: By breaking down a particular task into workable steps, you are ensuring your child’s feeling of success, thus raising his self-esteem. The more he has mastery over his environment, the better he will feel about himself.
8. Consistently focus on the positives: Little everyday occurrences that are often ignored need to be noticed and brought to the child’s attention in the form of acknowledgment and praise (e.g., finished eating her vegetables, picked her coat up off the floor, started doing homework without having to be asked, etc.). It's always better for children to feel good about the things they are doing right, rather than to be punished for what they are doing wrong.
9. Be a good role model on how to maintain composure: In the face of adversity, always aim to stay calm – and seek a calm environment to encourage de-escalation.
10. Transfer control: As often as possible, allow your child to be in charge of his responsibilities, rather than stepping in and taking over or over-assisting. In the short term, it may seem easier to simply do things yourself, but that's only if you want to continue doing this for your child for the rest of his life. Balance your decision to give the responsibility back to your child by maintaining a supportive and caring attitude, rather than being the “bad guy.”
11. Work as a team: When creating “house rules” for your AS or HFA child, do so WITH her, not just FOR her. In this way, she will buy into the process and will be more likely to cooperate. Social stories and visual cues about the rules can be quite helpful. You can place pictures or text in a place your child normally sees so she can easily access the rules. It’s good to put words next to pictures so the child can learn to associate the meaning.
12. Think structure, structure, structure: Children with AS and HFA need – and even crave – routine and structure. They handle change best if it is expected and occurs in the context of a familiar routine. A predictable routine allows these kids to feel safe and to develop a sense of mastery in handling their lives. As this sense of mastery is strengthened, they can tackle larger changes (e.g., walking to school by themselves, going to sleepaway camp, paying for a purchase at the store, etc.). Of course, many changes can't be avoided. But that's why you need to offer your child a predictable routine as a foundation in his life – so he can rise to the occasion to handle big changes when he needs to. While helping AS and HFA kids feel safe and ready to take on new challenges and developmental tasks would be reason enough to offer them structure, it has another important developmental role as well: structure and routines teach them how to constructively control themselves and their environments.
----------
Other benefits to having a significant amount of structure in your youngster’s life include the following:
Structure helps moms and dads maintain consistency in expectations. If everything is an argument, the parent often ends up settling just to keep the peace (e.g., more computer time, more TV, go to bed an hour later, skip brushing teeth for tonight, etc.). With a consistent schedule, the parent is more likely to stick to healthy expectations.
Structure allows children to be in charge of themselves. This feeling increases their sense of competence. Children who feel more independent and in charge of themselves have less need to rebel and be defiant.
Structure allows children to learn the concept of "looking forward" to things they enjoy, which is an important part of making a happy accommodation with the demands of a schedule. For example, your child may want to go to the playground now, but she can learn that the family always goes to the playground in the afternoon, and she can look forward to it then.
Structure eliminates power struggles because you aren't bossing your youngster around. A particular activity (e.g., brushing teeth, napping, turning off the TV to get ready for bed, etc.) is just what family members do at the designated time of day. Mom stops being the bad guy, and nagging is greatly reduced.
Structure helps children cooperate by reducing stress and anxiety for everyone. Everybody knows what comes next, they get fair warning for transitions, and no one feels pushed around.
Structure helps children learn to take charge of their own activities. Over time, they learn to feed the dog, brush their teeth, pack their backpacks, etc., without constant reminders from the parent.
One of the biggest challenges for parents of children with autism spectrum disorders is dealing with negative behaviors. If meltdowns are an issue for your AS or HFA youngster, the techniques listed above should provide a significant amount of relief for all family members.
More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:
"At what point do I cross the line from being an advocate for my child (with ASD) to being an enabler? In other words, when/how do parents do their child a disfavor by 'helping too much'."
Parents of a child with Asperger’s (AS) or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) often have trouble knowing how much to help out their “suffering” youngster at certain times in his or her life. However, if they have “stepped-in” time and time again to over-protect and over-assist their youngster, it often results is serious problems for that child later in life. Moms and dads are not doing their youngster any favors by over-assisting – in fact, quite the opposite.
Overprotective parents mean well. After all, it's their job to protect their youngster from harm. But unfortunately, some parents of AS and HFA children go too far. They started out by being their child’s advocate – and this is all well and good – but then they progressed way beyond advocacy to an overprotective parenting style. They figured the more hands-on and involved they are in their “special needs” child’s life, the better – but this is definitely not true.
Some early signs of overprotective parenting include the following:
Being quick to punish transgressions
Expectations that the youngster understand adult rules of deference and demeanor
Having strict rules of neatness, which do not allow the youngster to get dirt on his clothes or on himself
Having unnecessarily strict rules (e.g., remaining in the same room with the mother or father at all times, even at age 5 or 6)
Highly structured rules that try to cover every phase of the youngster’s life
Immediately running to examine the youngster when she has a simple fall that produces no distress; if a whimper is the worst result, the mother or father may have candy or a toy ready for comfort
Over-dependence on a system of rewards and punishments
Over-emphasis of academic success
Protection from all harm whether physical or emotional
Adult Children with Aspergers and Their Over-Protective Parents
What are some of the negative outcomes related to an overprotective parenting style? Here are just a few:
1. A grown-up gains confidence by working hard and mastering whatever it is he or she seeks to accomplish – and a child gains confidence the same way. But if an overprotective parent (who hates to see her AS or HFA youngster struggle) does tasks FOR him, the child is not given the opportunity to develop his own skills. Thus, he risks going through life with little or no confidence. An overprotective parent inadvertently sends the message that her youngster is not capable of doing an adequate job, or that she doesn't trust her youngster to make the right decisions.
2. One of the most important jobs a parent has is to prepare her youngster to be an independent and productive adult. But an overprotective parent can't let go – even after her older teen or young adult has left home to attend college. Some moms and dads negotiate work contracts on behalf of their “special needs” adult child. And the most extreme parents even attend job interviews with their adult child, which rarely impresses any potential employer.
3. An overprotective parenting style can cause the lack of the development of self-esteem in the AS or HFA youngster. This is because he is not allowed to face challenges without parental intervention. Part of the development of self-esteem in kids comes from surmounting challenges on their own, which can be denied to them by an overprotective mother or father.
4. When a parent does too much “safeguarding” in an effort to make her youngster’s life stress-free, it usually has the opposite effect. The overly-protected youngster eventually becomes depressed and suffers anxiety that he attributes to the obsessed parent. Instead of creating a happy and stress-free environment, the overprotective parent often accomplishes the opposite.
5. An overly protected child may feel that if his parents don’t trust him with the freedom to make mistakes and tackle problems on his own, then he may not have the ability to succeed in life without continued guidance.
So, what can parents do if they have been overly protective down through the years?
They should begin to foster the development of self-reliance in their child, rather than parental-reliance. For kids with AS and HFA, acquiring skills related to self-reliance is especially important. This is because their ability to express themselves clearly or interact with others may look different than what other kids typically do. Some grown-ups may mistakenly provide more support for a youngster on the autism spectrum than she actually needs. When a youngster is consistently prevented from taking even small risks, she will learn to feel helpless and dependent, rather than self-reliant.
Self-reliance is not about letting the child make every single decision that affects his life (e.g., what time to go to bed, deciding not to wear a coat in the winter time, etc.). Kids need very clear expectations, protection from harm, and loving guidance. Self-reliance is about providing opportunities so that AS and HFA kids develop the skills necessary to become independent, as well as to interact freely and joyfully within their environment.
When kids on the autism spectrum grow up, parents want them to have the necessary survival skills (e.g., speaking up and voicing opinions). Self-advocacy (i.e., the ability to speak on one’s own behalf) is an important and powerful outcome for kids with AS and HFA. By learning skills that promote self-reliance as a youngster, parents begin paving the way for her to effectively use her voice or other means to speak up on her own behalf.
Just like a child needs to practice the violin to become proficient, AS and HFA kids need on-going practice to gain skills related to self-reliance. When these young people have numerous opportunities to practice making basic choices or solving simple problems, they build confidence and trust in their own abilities. They also build the competence and ability to master new skills that can last a lifetime.
----------
Below are a few important suggestions for promoting early self-reliance in your child. You can choose the ones that work for you, or adapt some of the suggestions so they match the preferences of your youngster and the rest of the family:
1. Create opportunities for your AS or HFA youngster to see his work, drawings or other art displayed (e.g., proudly show “found treasures,” artwork or other creations on a bulletin board or the refrigerator).
2. Develop routines WITH your youngster. Morning and bedtime are obvious times to come up with predictable routines. Have your child involved in the planning. For example, sit her down and ask, "What can we do to make our mornings go more smoothly?" Chances are your youngster will come up with the same ideas you might have – and since she came up with the idea (rather than you), she will be more likely to follow it. She may even pose some ideas you wouldn't have considered (e.g., having a granola bar for breakfast instead of pancakes). Beyond the morning and night, look for other times that you can come up with a flexible schedule. For example, when your youngster gets home from school, he can be in charge of getting his own snack instead of relying on you.
3. Provide a lot of regular acknowledgement and praise. When your youngster is trying something new, you can nearly guarantee his success by praising his efforts. Kids on the autism spectrum can get easily frustrated, but by cheering on their efforts, they learn that obstacles can be overcome. They need to learn patience as they learn to do something new, and moms and dads need to be patient as they encourage their kids. For example, it may take longer for your child to tie his shoes, so give him plenty of time and don't rush him. In the end, your child will not only learn to do more on his own, but he will become more self-reliant – and grateful that his mom and dad have confidence in his abilities.
4. Help your youngster to become a goal-setter. Autonomy often goes hand-in-hand with self-confidence. When your youngster feels like she has the ability to accomplish something small (e.g., making her own bed), she will then feel more able to do more difficult tasks (e.g., washing dishes, figuring out fractions, etc.). Help along her “sense of self” by teaching her to set goals. These goals don't have to be large tasks, or even for lengthy time periods. And the reward for her efforts should be her own sense of accomplishment. Chores are a good place to start with goal-setting. So, identify with your youngster specific tasks that she can do around the house and in her bedroom. Work with her to develop a chart to mark off each day or week that she gets her tasks done.
5. Of course, supervision is important to ensure that your youngster is safe. But to help her really learn a new skill, it's also important not to hover. Finding that balance can be tricky. That's why taking simple steps toward acquiring a new skill is crucial. Potentially dangerous or messy tasks (e.g., cutting, vacuuming, working with blenders, etc.) require supervision. But make sure that with other tasks (e.g., making beds, fixing simple meals, etc.), you step back and let your child show off her skills.
6. Let your youngster go alone. Are you the first to volunteer to chaperone the school fieldtrip? After all, what if your son forgets his sack lunch …or your daughter leaves her umbrella on the bus? Moms and dads should definitely sign up for one fieldtrip or a couple of classroom volunteer assignments each school year – but should not go to every activity. These activities serve as opportunities for kids to exert their independence while still being under adult supervision. After the activity, ask your youngster about the event. You may notice that he enjoyed going on the fieldtrip, not just because of the horses at the farm, but also because he felt responsible enough to take care of himself outside of school without his mom or dad around.
7. Let your AS or HFA child make mistakes, but be there to boost her spirits so she will keep trying. For example, if your youngster wants to learn how to make a home-made pizza, show her how. Then set up the ingredients and let her give it a try. True, you're likely in for a bit of a mess, but your youngster can help clean up (however imperfectly) after she is done crafting her pizza. Instead of pointing out that she added entirely too much mozzarella cheese, make an attempt to avoid any criticism that could discourage her from trying again. If parents step-in to assist, their youngster may get discouraged and never try it again.
8. Offer choices and solicit your youngster’s preferences for objects and activities (e.g., ask him which book of two books he wants, and ask if he wants to sit up or lie down to hear the story).
9. Provide your youngster ways to be independent in dressing and personal care.
10. Teach “life skills” to your child. Start simple with teaching day-to-day tasks. For example, have your youngster help you sort out clothes for the laundry. After the clothes are dried, give her a basket with her clothes folded inside. Once she is comfortable and confident putting away her own clothes, let her handle the folding, too. Introducing your youngster gradually to new skills will help her to feel confident to handle more demanding tasks.
These are just a few ideas to help you start thinking about ways to promote self-reliance at home. The key is to create opportunities where your youngster can feel happy, safe, and free within the world around him or her.
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
A visual support refers to using a picture or other visual item to help your youngster with task-completion as well as communication. Visual supports can be drawings, objects, written words, photographs, or lists. Research has shown that visual supports work well as a way to communicate with special needs kids.
Here are our Top 10 Picks for Visual Supports to assist Kids on the Autism Spectrum:
Visual Schedules “3 Pc Home Bundle” w/Double-Sided Dry Erase Magnetic Board, 19 Pc Headings Sheet and 72 Home-Themed Activity Magnets
Visual Schedules Activity Magnets Combo Pk: 132 pc Entire Gallery (Home, School and Special Needs) PLUS 19 pc Headings Sheet (2nd Ed)
Visual Schedule for Home
Visual Morning Routine AAC (Picture Communication Symbols)
Autism Supplies And Developments Picture Exchange Communication System
Daily Planner for Kids - Visual Schedule -Magnet Cards- Helps Children be more organized!
Easy Daysies Starter Kit The Original Daily Visual Schedule
Magnetic Reward Behavior Star Chore Chart for One or Multiple Kids, Includes 8 Markers + 60 Foam Backing Illustrated Chores + 300 Stars in Red, Yellow, Blue. X- Large 17X12 inch. Hanging Loop READY!
Monkey & Chops Kids Daily Routine Charts - Magnetic Refrigerator Behavior Chart for kids - to Help Your Child with Their Morning & Evening Routines