Anger-Control for Kids and Teens on the Autism Spectrum

"I desperately need ideas on how to deal with an autistic child (high functioning) who is often agitated and angered. We rarely know what will trigger him, as it seems to vary widely from situation to situation - and from day to day."

All children experience anger. But, young people with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA), in particular, have difficulty channeling their strong emotions into acceptable outlets.

Anger is a response to a real or perceived loss or stress. It results when an individual’s body, property, self-esteem, or values are threatened. Anger is often a reaction to feeling frustrated, hurt, misunderstood, or rejected. If your youngster does not learn how to release his or her anger appropriately, it can fester and explode in inappropriate ways, or be internalized and damage his or her sense of self-worth.

As a mother or father, dealing with an angry youngster is inevitable. Many of us have heard our own pre-parenting voice whisper to us, saying something like, “That will never be my child acting-out like that” (famous last words). Anger is learned, but so is composure!

As parents, we hope our kids learn to:

• communicate angry feelings in a positive way
• express anger nonviolently
• learn how to avoid being a victim of someone else's angry actions
• learn how to control angry impulses
• learn how to problem solve
• learn how to remove themselves from a violent or angry situation 
• learn self-calming techniques
• recognize angry feelings in themselves and others

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Below are several crucial techniques to help teach your AS or HFA youngster calmer, more constructive ways to express anger:

1. Acknowledge strong emotions, helping your youngster control herself and save face (e.g., say, "It must be hard to get a low score after you tried so hard").

2. Be sure to VALUE what your youngster is experiencing. For example, if he is hurt and crying, never say, "Stop crying." Instead, validate your youngster's experience by saying something like, "I’m sure that hurts. That would make me cry too." This makes an ally out of you, rather than a target for free-floating anger. As an ally, your youngster learns to trust you, realizing you are there for him no matter what. If your youngster can trust you, he can learn to trust himself and the outer world.

3. Create a “ways to relax” poster. There are dozens of ways to help AS and HFA kids calm down when they first start to get bent out of shape. Unfortunately, most of these young people have never been given the opportunity to think of those other possibilities. Thus, they keep getting into trouble because the only behavior they know is inappropriate ways to express their frustration. So, talk with your youngster about more acceptable "replacement behaviors.” Make a big poster listing them (e.g., draw pictures, hit a pillow, listen to music, run a lap, shoot baskets, sing a song, talk to someone, think of a peaceful place, walk away, etc.). Once your youngster chooses her replacement behavior, encourage her to use the same strategy each time she starts to get upset.

4. Encourage your youngster to accept responsibility for his anger and to gain control by asking himself the following questions: Did I do or say anything to create the problem? If so, how can I make things better? How can I keep this issue from happening again?

5. Facilitate communication and problem solving with your AS or HFA youngster by asking questions (e.g., How can I help you? What can you do to help yourself? What do you need? Is your behavior helping you solve your problem?).

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's
 

6. Help your youngster to understand her own emotions by putting her feelings into words (e.g., say, "It looks like it made you angry when they called you names").

7. Help your youngster to understand that anger is a natural emotion that everyone has. Say something like, "It's normal to feel angry. Everyone feels angry from time to time, but it is not O.K. to hurt others."

8. Involve your youngster in making a small list of “house rules” (e.g., we work out differences peacefully, we use self-control, we listen to others, we are kind to each other, etc.). Write them down and post them on the refrigerator. Make the rules clear, and follow through with meaningful consequences that are appropriate for the age of your youngster when the rules are ignored.

9. Listen, reflect and validate (without judgment) the feelings your youngster expresses. After listening, help him identify the true feeling underlying the anger (e.g., hurt, frustration, sadness, disappointment, fear, etc.). Say something like, "That hurt when your friend was mean to you," or “It was scary to have those boys bully you.”

10. Many children on the autism spectrum act-out because they simply don’t know how to express their anger any other way. Kicking, screaming, swearing, hitting or throwing things may be the only way they know how to express their emotions. To help your youngster express her frustrations appropriately, create an “emotion words” poster together (e.g., "Let’s think of all the words we could use that tell others we’re really frustrated"). Then list her ideas (e.g., angry, mad, annoyed, furious, irritated, etc.). Write them on a chart, hang it up, and practice using them often. When your youngster is upset, use the words so she can apply them to real life (e.g., "Looks like you’re really frustrated. Want to talk about it?" …or "You seem really annoyed. Do you need to walk it off?"). Then keep adding new feeling words to the list whenever new ones come up in those "teachable moments" throughout the day.


How can children with High-Functioning Autism cope with anger and depression?

11. Resist taking your youngster’s angry outbursts personally. Always deal with him in a calm, objective way.

12. Sometimes a child’s anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in his life. Not all anger is misplaced. Occasionally it's a healthy, natural response to the difficulties that the AS or HFA child faces. There is a common belief that every problem has a solution, and it adds to parents’ frustration to find out that this isn't always the case with their “special needs” child. The best attitude to bring to such a circumstance, then, is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle the problem as painlessly as possible.

13. Stop any aggressive behaviors. Say something like, "I can't let you hurt each other," or "I can't let you hurt me." Then remove your youngster as gently as possible.

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

14. Teach your AS or HFA youngster to take a time-out from the difficult situation and have some “alone-time” for a few minutes. During the time-out, your youngster can rethink the situation, calm down, and determine what to do next. The length of the time-out is determined by the intensity of the emotion. A youngster who is simply frustrated may just need to take a deep breath. The youngster who is infuriated probably needs to leave the room and settle down. After your youngster has calmed down, it’s time to decide on a more appropriate response to the situation. There are at least 3 positive choices: talk about it, get help, or slow down. Simplifying the choices makes the decision process easier. Even AS and HFA kids can learn to respond constructively to frustration when they know there are just a few choices.  These choices are skills to be learned. Take time to teach your youngster these skills, and practice them as responses to mad feelings.

15. Try a "time-in" rather than a "time-out." As the mother or father, you are your youngster's main guide in life. She relies on you to be there with her through her difficult emotional experiences, whatever that may be. Thus, no time-out and no isolation may be the best option on occasion. Instead, try a "time-in." Sit with your youngster and incorporate other methods mentioned in this article (e.g., work on breathing with her, ask her questions about her feelings, etc.). The important thing is to be fully present with your child to help her through her emotions. Remember, you are teaching her social skills to be in relationships with others, rather than acting out alone. When some boys and girls are isolated, they often ruminate and feel guilty for their behavior. This only serves to create low self-esteem, which often cycles back to creating behavioral problems.

16. Use feeling words to help your AS or HFA youngster understand the emotions of others (e.g., Robbie is sitting alone and looks very sad; he may be lonely," or "When Michael tripped, he looked embarrassed").

17. Use role-playing, puppets, or videos to teach social skills (e.g., how to treat each other, how to work out disagreements, etc.).

18. When your child becomes frustrated, use those incidents as "on-the-spot lessons" to help him learn to calm himself down (rather than always relying on you to calm him down). Let me rephrase this (because this is an important technique): Every time your child acts-out due to low-frustration tolerance, ALWAYS use that moment as a teaching moment. For example, explain to your youngster that we all have little signs that warn us when we’re getting frustrated. We should listen to these signs, because they can help us stay out of trouble. Next, help your youngster recognize what specific warning signs he may have that tells him he is starting to get angry (e.g., I talk louder, my cheeks get hot, I clench my fists, my heart starts pounding, my mouth gets dry, I breathe faster, etc.).

Once your youngster is aware of his unique warning signs, start pointing them out to him whenever he first starts to get upset (e.g., “It looks like you’re starting to get frustrated" …or "Your cheeks are getting red. Do you feel yourself starting to get upset?"). The more you help your AS or HFA child to recognize the signs when his anger is first triggered, the better he will be able to calm himself down. It’s also the time when anger-control techniques are most effective. Anger escalates very quickly, and waiting until your youngster is already in "melt-down" to try to get him back into control is usually too late.

19. Simple relaxation tools can help your child calm down. For example:

• Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience from either your memory or your imagination.
• Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase (“relax” or “take it easy”). Repeat it to yourself.
• Breathe deeply from your diaphragm (breathing from your chest won't relax you, so picture your breath coming up from your belly).

20. Help your youngster understand that she can “choose” how to react when she feels angry. Teach her self-control and positive ways to cope with negative impulses. Here are some choices she can make:

• Calm self by breathing deeply
• Count slowly
• Draw or play with clay
• Exercise, walk or run
• Find a quiet place or sit alone
• Hug someone, a pet or a stuffed animal 
• Look at books or read
• Play music or sing
• Problem solve
• Rest or take a shower
• Stop and think
• Tell someone how you feel
• Tense body and then relax 
• Write about feelings

By following the techniques listed above, parents can help strengthen their relationship with their AS and HFA kids and give them the tools they need to cope effectively with frustration and anger.

More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book


==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Investigating and Resolving "Problem Behavior" in Kids on the Autism Spectrum

"I need to understand my son better (ASD, age 7) so we can you come up with some consequences that are appropriate and not so punitive as to remove all possibility of improvement. Please help!"

If you have a youngster with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) who exhibits problematic behavior, you have probably felt like an investigator, searching for clues and seeking hidden motivations. 

You may have come up with some quick and easy explanations for your youngster's behavioral issues (e.g., ones offered by parents at the park, your mother-in-law, and even by behavioral experts), but your youngster often has something completely different up his sleeve. Operating according to the easiest explanation will often make matters worse.

Even though there are explanations for your HFA youngster's “bad” behavior that take some of the fault from him, the effects of the behavior are unfortunate and must be addressed. For example, your youngster may push one of his friends or break a toy because of autism-related challenges not under his control, but he still has to face the consequences associated with this behavior. 

A full understanding of the situation can help you come up with some consequences that are effective and not so punitive "as to remove all possibility of improvement" (as you say). And the best way to come to a full understanding is through good detective work.

One way to be a good detective is to observe behavior by using a functional behavioral assessment (i.e., observing your youngster and noting everything that happens before, during, and after problem behaviors). With a few weeks of observation, you can often uncover the things that provoke your youngster (e.g., the itchy sweater he is wearing, the long wait in the gym after the bus drop-off, the breeze coming through a classroom window, etc.).

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Here’s is an example of a functional behavioral assessment:

Student’s name: Ricky

Issue: Ricky had difficulty transitioning from resource room to physical education class

Location: The resource room

People involved: Resource teacher and classmates

Antecedent (i.e., what occurred before the incident): Resource teacher states, “It’s time for everyone to put their drawing materials away and get ready to go to the gym.”

• Behavior #1 (i.e., what occurred during the incident): Ricky continued to draw in his art notebook. He glanced at classmates who had moved to the doorway.
• Consequence #1 (i.e., what resulted at this stage of events): Resource teacher talked with the students for about one minute. She looked at Ricky and told him to put his pencil down and to get in line.

• Behavior #2: Ricky turned his back to the teacher and threw his pencil on the floor.
• Consequence #2: Teacher approached Ricky and told him to pick up the pencil.

• Behavior #3: Ricky got up and picked up the pencil and took it to the art supplies drawer. Then he ran to the front of the classroom and climbed under the teacher’s desk.
• Consequence #3: Teacher bent down to be at eye level with Ricky under the table and told him he was wasting everyone’s gym time, and that he needed to come out from under the desk and get in line.

• Behavior #4: Ricky reached out his hand.
• Consequence #4: Teacher took Ricky’s hand and led him to the end of the line.

• Behavior #5: Ricky waved goodbye and smiled to his teacher and walked with the others to the gym.
• Consequence #5: Teacher smiled, waved back and stated, “I’ll see you again tomorrow.”

Hypothesis (i.e., best guess as to why the behavior occurs based on the assumption that other antecedents, behaviors and consequences showed a similar pattern): Ricky was seeking attention from his resource teacher

Goal (i.e., corrective action plan): Teach Ricky a more appropriate way to seek his teacher’s attention

Objectives (i.e., potential strategies used to accomplish the goal):

• allow Ricky to ask a classmate to walk next to him on the way to gym
• allow Ricky to be “line-leader”
• allow Ricky to be the "timer" who pushes the two-minute warning buzzer
• post Ricky’s name on the "hard workers of the week" bulletin board
• praise Ricky for a specific work-related behavior or academic response just before asking students to line up for gym time

Although the example above involved problematic behavior at school, the same method can be applied by parents for behavior at home. The more you learn about your youngster’s disorder and his unique quirkiness, the better you will be able to discover the true motive behind the behavior and apply appropriate discipline (or leniency if warranted).

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism 

More Structure Equals Less Behavioral Problems 

Here is a personal example of applying functional behavioral analysis (see if you can identify the antecedent, behavior, and consequence):

One of my child clients with High-Functioning Autism was experiencing meltdowns pretty much daily whenever he was in special education class, which he attended for one hour each morning for writing practice since his penmanship was poor. As most people know who work with children on the autism spectrum, they tend to have poor writing abilities due to fine motor skills deficits.

I was asked by Michael's parents to go to the school and sit in the classroom to investigate.  Here is what I observed:

Michael entered the classroom and took his seat, which was in the rear of the room nearest the door that led to the hallway. As he began to practice writing, he would get frustrated and erase what he had written repeatedly to the point where he wore several holes in the paper. At that point, he picked up his paper, tore it into tiny pieces and threw it on the floor. This resulted in the teacher escorting Michael to another room where he was isolated from the other students for a period of time.

To make a long story short, on the day of my investigation, I took my seat in the very back of the classroom behind Michael. I immediately noticed that since we were sitting near the exit, most of the hallway noise was very audible. I also knew that based on personal experience, many children with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's have hearing sensitivities. 

As I sat there, I had the thought that it would be difficult for even me to concentrate with the hustle and bustle right on the other side of the door. So purely on a hunch, we moved Michael to the front of the room furthest away from the door. We were pleasantly surprised to see that Michael was able to stay focused on his writing at that point and was not making as many mistakes, thus reducing his frustration-level.

So the hypothesis was this: Michael was unconsciously distracted by the noises in the hallway, which contributed to his frequent writing mistakes and frequent erasing. This in turn resulted in the writing paper being torn, which was the tipping-point for Michael to slip into a total state of frustration.

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with High-Functioning Autism
 

Obviously, the corrective action was to move Michael to an area of the classroom that was less noisy and distracting. It also appeared to help that he was near the teacher and could receive frequent one-on-one assistance.

As a mother or father, you will need to develop a trained eye for your AS or HFA child, as well as an intuitive understanding of what makes him tic. Your youngster needs you to read all the hidden cues. He also needs to follow his own instincts, which may be telling him that something's too difficult, too uncomfortable, etc. Your youngster has no choice but to follow his instincts. Knowing this can help you be more empathetic and skilled in addressing difficult behavior.

Not all hidden cues are worth following. When you're investigating your youngster's confusing behavior, red herrings may show up (e.g., his eagerness to end a stressful situation by accepting blame even when it’s not his fault, your preconceived notions of “whodunit,” another youngster's self-protecting accusations, another adult's spin on the situation, etc.). 

If it feels to you like something is awry, chances are it is. Keep an open mind even in the face of seemingly “solid evidence,” and allow for the possibility that things may not be what they seem. Your intuition is still worth following – all “evidence” to the contrary.

Of course, there will be times when you have developed a wonderful hypothesis based on a good-faith investigation, but for some reason it just doesn’t pan-out (e.g., there is a missing piece of the puzzle that would make the picture so much clearer and turn your guesswork into certainty – if you could just find it; the strategies that have always worked in the past don't get the job done this time; the explanation you've developed through your intuition is not what is really going on, etc.). 

Always keep an eye out for that “missing link,” even if you seem to have resolved the situation to an acceptable degree. That little bit of extra information can resolve things more completely, and can help you prevent a particular problem behavior from occurring again.

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Launching Adult Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social-Skills and Emotion-Management to Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

 

 

More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:

 

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...

 

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A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...

Top Picks: Self-Soothing Items for Kids on the Autism Spectrum

Below are our top picks for products that can be used to calm your child whenever he or she is frustrated, angry, over-stimulated, or about to "meltdown." However, we recommend that your child not be granted free access to these items, rather they should be reserved for those times when he or she is beginning to have strong emotions and needs to "self-soothe" as a result.

Relieves Stress and Increases Focus - Bundle Sensory Twisted Squeeze Fidget Toys Set (15 PACK)

Blue Weighted Compression Vest - Small (5-8) - Helps With Mood & Attention, Sensory Over Responding, Sensory Seeking, Travel Issues

Sensory Sox Body Socks - For Sensory Processing Issues - Deep Pressure Simulation Body Blanket Great for Dynamic Movement

5 lb Children's (for 50lb individual) 36"x48" Navy Blue and Gray Weighted Blanket with Dotted Minkey Cover. Fall Asleep Faster - Perfect for kids with Anxiety, OCD, Stress, ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorders

Glowing LED Night Light - Twinkle Star Shape - Plush Pillow Stuffed Toys

Light Up Smiling Moon Throw Pillow - Sparkling Moon Plush Toy with 7 Colors Change LED Lighting

Snug Kids Earmuffs / Best Hearing Protectors – Adjustable Headband Ear Defenders For Children w/ Auditory Sensitivities

Pull, Stretch & Squeeze Stress Balls - 3 Pack - Elastic Construction Sensory Balls - Ideal For Stress & Anxiety Relief, Special Needs, Autism

How to Help Aspergers and HFA Teens Transition to High School

Young Aspergers (AS) and High-Functioning Autistic (HFA) teens entering high school look forward to having more choices and making new and more friends; however, they also are concerned about being picked on and teased by older students, having harder work, making lower grades, and getting lost in a larger, unfamiliar school.

As these "special needs" teens make the transition into high school, many experience a decline in grades and attendance. They view themselves more negatively and experience an increased need for friendships. By the end of the 10th grade as many as 6% drop out of school. For middle school students, including those who have been labeled "gifted" or "high-achieving," the transition into high school can be an especially unpleasant experience.

Research has found, however, that when middle school students with AS and HFA took part in a high school transition program with several diverse articulation activities, fewer students were retained in the transition grade. Furthermore, middle school principals indicated that they expected fewer of their students to drop out before graduation when the school provided supportive advisory group activities or responsive remediation programs.

==> Help for Parents with Defiant Aspergers Teens

Providing students on the autism spectrum with activities that relate directly to their transition into high school certainly is important; however, providing them with a challenging and supportive middle school experience is an equally important factor in their making a successful transition into high school. Research reveals that AS and HFA students who stayed together with the same educators through sixth, seventh, and eighth grades - and experienced more hands-on, life-related learning activities, integrated instruction, and cooperative learning groups were more successful in their transition to high school than were students from the same school who had a more traditional middle school experience.

AS and HFA students have also indicated that if their middle school educators had held them more responsible for their learning, taught them more about strategies for learning on their own, and provided them a more challenging curriculum, their transition to high school would have been easier.

A good high school transition program includes a variety of activities that (1) provide children and parents with information about the new school, (2) provide children with social support during the transition, and (3) bring middle school and high school personnel together to learn about the curriculum and requirements.

Middle school students on the spectrum want to know what high school is going to be like, and they and their parents need to know about and understand high school programs and procedures well in advance. In particular, moms and dads need to be actively involved in the decisions their eighth-graders are asked to make about classes they will take in ninth grade and understand the long-term effects of the course decisions.

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Some of the ways AS and HFA teens can learn about high school include:

• "shadowing" a current high school student
• attending a fall orientation assembly (preferably before school starts)
• attending a presentation by a high school student or panel of students
• discussing high school regulations and procedures with eighth-grade educators and counselors
• participating in face-to-face activities
• visiting the high school in the fall for schedule information
• visiting the high school in the spring

In addition, high school students can, either as a class or club project, set up a Website that would provide incoming students information on different high school activities and clubs and offer them an opportunity to get answers to any questions they may have from the "experts."

At a time when friendships and social interaction are particularly important for young teens on the autism spectrum, the normative transition into high school often serves to disrupt friendship networks and, thereby, interferes with students' success in high school. Thus, it is vital for a transition program to include activities that will provide incoming students social support activities that give students the opportunity to get to know and develop positive relationships with older students and other incoming students.

Methods of social support include:

• "Big Sister/Brother" Program that begins in eighth grade and continues through ninth grade
• Peer mentoring programs
• Spring social event for current and incoming high school students
• Tutoring programs
• Writing programs where eighth-graders correspond with high school students

Tips for Teachers: 29 Ways to Build Confidence in Students with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism



PARENT INVOLVEMENT—

The importance of parents being involved in their child’s transition from middle to high school can hardly be overestimated. When moms and dads are involved in their child’s transition to high school, they tend to stay involved in his/her school experiences. Also, when parents are involved in their child's high school experiences, the student (statistically speaking) has a higher level of achievement, is better adjusted, and is less likely to drop out of school.

Parent involvement in the transition process to high school can be encouraged through a variety of activities. Parents may:

• be invited to participate in a conference (preferably at the middle school) with their child and the high school counselor to discuss course work and schedules
• help design and facilitate some of the articulation activities for students
• spend a day at the high school to help them understand what their child's life will be like
• visit the high school with their child in the spring or in the fall

Note: Parents of students who are already in high school are an excellent resource for other parents and may also help to encourage new parents to be more involved in school activities.

==> Help for Parents with Defiant Aspergers Teens

How Parents Can Help With Transitions—

1. A week or so before school starts in the fall, make sure your adolescent gets another tour of the school. Help him find his locker and practice opening it. Take his schedule and walk from class to class in the order he will have to go each day. If the schedule is not the same every day, make sure you practice with him/her all the different variations. Visit the cafeteria and talk about the different options for eating lunch, bring lunch from home or buying hot lunch.

2. Arrange for your adolescent to meet all of her educators before the first day of school. This is something that would best be done over several days so your adolescent is not overwhelmed.

3. Get a catalogue of courses offered as soon as it is available and start looking at it with your adolescent. Talk about classes that will be required to graduate and classes that your adolescent has a special interest in.

4. If possible, plan for your 8th grader to spend time at the high school during his 8th grade year. If the schools are close together it might be possible for your 8th grader to spend his study hall time working in the library at the high school, working as a teacher's assistant, or being an office helper. Or perhaps your adolescent can take a class at the high school during his 8th grade year.

5. If the high school has a mentor program for incoming freshmen try and have your adolescent meet his mentor over the summer, for ice cream or a soda, to get to know each other a little.

6. If your adolescent has an IEP (individual education plan) make sure all of his/her educators are aware of the IEP and take time to briefly discuss with each of them the most critical issues for your adolescent.

7. If your adolescent will ride the school bus, visit the bus stop by your home and locate the drop off spot at the high school. Figure out which door they will use to enter the school and how to find their locker from that door. Make sure your adolescent knows where they will catch the bus in the afternoon and how to identify which bus they will ride on. If this is your adolescent's first experience with a school bus, make sure the bus driver is aware of your adolescent's special needs and that they will keep a careful eye on your adolescent to make sure they get off at the correct spot.

8. In the spring make sure your adolescent gets a tour of the high school, meeting key people like the principal, counselors, special education staff, front office staff, and library staff.

9. Make arrangements with the high school for your adolescent to sit in on a few classes towards the end of his 8th grade year. If possible arrange for your adolescent to visit classes of educators he/she will have the following year. Also, arrange for someone to sit in on the classes with your adolescent, a counselor, special ed teacher, etc.

10. Make arrangements with the school for your adolescent to have one special person who will be their "go to" person if they have any questions or difficulties.

11. Start planning early for the change. The beginning of 8th grade is not too soon to start having conversation with school personnel about ways to make it easier for the next year.

12. Start talking about college and what your adolescent will have to do to get ready.

13. Start talking about how great high school will be and how you think you adolescent will really enjoy being there. (You are planting positive ideas, so try and sound very positive).

14. Have the school assign a compassionate student to be your adolescent's lunch buddy for the first week of school so he/she does not have to eat alone. Sometimes schools are willing to assign a buddy for each class too. This can be helpful in making your Aspergers adolescent feel more accepted by his/her peers.

15. Plan to touch base with each of your adolescents educators by email after the first 1-2 days of school to see how things are progressing. Arrange to have an in person meeting with the educators during the second week of school. (By that time they have had a chance to figure out who your youngster is and you can give them more information about Aspergers and what has worked best for your youngster in the past. Be sure to thank them for their willingness to help your unique youngster have a great year and offer to help them in any way you can.)

==> Help for Parents with Defiant Aspergers Teens

Should You Consider Giving Your Child CBD Oil?

CBD oil is gaining traction among parents of kids on the autism spectrum. As one parent states, “Our son is almost completely weaned off of drugs since beginning CBD treatment. He is more focused in school, able to stay on task, understand and follow classroom multi-step directions, complete school work, and is no longer at a ‘plateau’ and able to grasp new concepts. His eye contact is better, his language is more thought-out and he is able to create meaningful sentences and his annunciation is clearer. He also seems happier, in general.”

Why should you consider CBD oil for your Asperger’s or High-Functioning Autistic child? Well, first we need to look at the Endocannabinoid System (ECS). 

Many of the symptoms that children on the autism spectrum experience are directly related to the functions of the body’s ECS. This system is the largest regulatory system in the body and controls appetite, memory, mood, motor control, pain, pleasure and reward, sleep, temperature regulation, and immune function. We have ECS receptors in almost every cell, and when the ECS is disrupted, any one of these things can fall out of balance.

A 2013 study (click here for the study) found dysfunctions in cannabinoid receptors on immune cells in children on the autism spectrum, and it was an “aha” moment researchers. Another study (found here) looked at CBD oil and how it is becoming an increasingly popular treatment for anxiety and sleep issues in children – and is an effective alternative to pharmaceutical medications.

Since CBD oil has little to no THC, it will not affect the mental process in kids or cause them to feel “high.” Already there are good results from moms and dads who have used CBD oil to treat their "special needs" kids. These products are available for you now.

Below are our top picks for hemp oil based on popular reviews. Hemp oil is obtained by pressing hemp seeds, and should not be confused with hash oil, which is made from the Cannabis flower.

Hemp Oil Virgin, Cold-Pressed, 100% Pure

Edens Garden Cannabis 10 ml 100% Pure