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Behavioral and Cognitive Rigidity in Kids with High-Functioning Autism

Behavioral rigidity refers to a child’s difficulty maintaining appropriate behavior in new and unfamiliar situations. The opposite of rigidity would be flexibility, which enables children to shift effortlessly from task to task in the classroom, from topic to topic in conversation, from one role to another in games, etc.

Rigidity can also affect thinking. Cognitive rigidity occurs when the child is unable to consider alternatives to the current situation, alternative viewpoints, or innovative solutions to a problem. The child with rigid thinking tends to view things in “either-or” terms (e.g., things are either right or wrong, good or bad). He or she wants concrete, black and white answers. The “gray areas” of life are very uncomfortable (e.g., often has an exact way of doing things with no variations).

Children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) often demonstrate extreme forms of rigidity or inflexibility. This may manifest itself as difficulty with (a) ending an intense emotional feeling, (b) making transitions during the school day (e.g., from lunch back to the classroom), and (c) tolerating changes in schedules or everyday routines.

Rigidity and Defiance in Kids with High-Functioning Autism 



 Here is a 3-step process for helping your HFA child with his/her rigidity issues:

Step 1—

Realizing that your HFA youngster will not be a good observer of her behavior is your first step. She will not know what to do in certain situations, because she doesn't understand how the world works. Not knowing what to do usually results in anxiety that leads to additional ineffective and inappropriate actions. HFA behavior is usually a result of this anxiety, which leads to difficulty moving on and letting go of an issue, and "getting stuck" on something. This is “rigidity,” and it is the most common reason for behavioral problems.

Reasons for rigidity may include the following:
  • A misunderstanding or misinterpretation of another's action
  • A violation of a rule or ritual (i.e., changing something from the way it is “supposed” to be)
  • Anxiety about a current or upcoming event
  • Attention difficulties
  • Difficulty transitioning from one activity to another
  • Immediate gratification of a need
  • Lack of knowledge about how something is done  
  • Sensory sensitivities
  • The need to avoid or escape from a non-preferred activity (e.g., doing Math homework)
  • The need to control a situation
  • The need to engage in - or continue - a preferred activity (e.g., an obsessive action or fantasy)

Often times, parents of children with HFA do not fully understand what their youngster is thinking, how he interprets the world, and how his deficits cause problems. After their child receives an official diagnosis, parents often rush into action before collecting enough information about the disorder. If they don’t learn about the ins-and-outs of the disorder, parents may very likely do the wrong thing. So, the second step in effectively dealing with rigidity is to understand some of the associated theories on HFA. Below are the prominent theories that will shed light on this topic:

Cortisol Deficit: According to researchers, cortisol (the body’s stress hormone) may be a key factor in understanding HFA. Cortisol is one of several stress hormones that acts similar to a “red alert” that is triggered by stressful circumstances, which helps the individual to react quickly to changes. In “typical” children, there is a two-fold increase in levels of cortisol within 30 minutes of waking up, with levels gradually declining during the day as part of the internal body clock. One study found that children with HFA didn’t have this peak, although levels of cortisol still decreased during the day as normal. This difference in stress hormone levels may be highly significant in explaining why kids on the autism spectrum are less able to react and cope with unexpected change. The study suggests that these young people may not adjust normally to the challenge of a new environment on waking, which may affect the way they subsequently engage with the world around them. By viewing the symptoms of HFA as a “stress response” rather than a “behavior problem” can help parents and teachers develop techniques for avoiding circumstances that may cause anxiety in kids with the disorder.

Executive Dysfunction: Executive function theory deals with impulse control, inhibition, mental flexibility, planning, the initiation and monitoring of action, and working memory. This theory explains some of the symptoms of HFA. For instance, poor social interaction may be due to a defect in cognitive shifting, which is a vital part of executive function. Also, repetitive and restricted behavior observed in young people on the autism spectrum may be explained due to executive dysfunction.

Brain Dysregulation: Another theory suggests that the brains of children on the autism spectrum are structurally normal, but “dysregulated.” In other words, there is an impaired regulation of a bundle of neurons in the brain stem that processes sensory signals from all areas of the body.

Weak Central Coherence: Weak central coherence theory describes the inability to understand the context of a situation or to see the “big picture.” This might explain common behaviors found in HFA children (e.g., repetitiveness, focusing on parts of objects, persistence in behaviors related to details, etc.).

Theory of Mind Deficit: Theory of mind is the intuitive understanding of your mental state, and the mental state of other people (e.g., emotions, thoughts, beliefs, perceptions, knowledge, intentions and desires) – and of how those mental states influence behavior. Kids with HFA have difficulty understanding others thoughts, which according to this theory, is the core cognitive deficit.
 

Step 3—

The following strategy is your third step for dealing with rigidity, and can be used with a variety of activities (e.g., chores and homework). There are two main parts to this strategy: 1) practicing in small steps, and 2) providing praise based on effort.

Practicing in small steps: The first part of this strategy is the use of subgoals. Setting a subgoal helps the youngster focus. In any activity, watch for him to begin to lose interest, become bored, get frustrated, or become distracted. At that point, set a subgoal that requires him to attend only slightly longer than he initially desires. For a 5-year-old, this may mean a subgoal that can be completed in 30 seconds. For a 10-year-old, a subgoal that lasts 3 minutes may be more appropriate. The goal is to give the youngster brief practice in “being patient with the process” without overloading him by extensive demands.

Providing praise based on effort: Whenever the youngster puts in "a little extra effort" or works beyond the frustration point, the second part of the strategy can be employed. This is “praise based on effort” instead of “praise based on level of performance.” Usually, moms and dads focus on their youngster’s “productivity” rather than focusing on “the amount of energy the youngster had to devote to the activity.” When using praise, acknowledge the amount of “applied effort,” and point out that the youngster’s “attempt at being productive” paid off (e.g., "You worked very hard and trying to solve that Math problem!"). If you build pride in this extra effort, rigidity will likely lessen.

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Here are two specific examples of how to apply this strategy:
  1. If your youngster is helping you fold clothes and begins to lose interest or focus, you can assign a very small number of clothing items to be folded before she takes a break. This minimizes the frustration and the amount of distraction. Once your youngster makes this extra effort, use “praise based on effort” in order to build pride. This strategy can be used even when she is not “successful” (e.g., doesn’t finish folding all the clothes). Any extra “pride in effort” is likely to reduce rigidity and attention difficulties.
  2. If your youngster is working on a lengthy Math assignment and shows signs of frustration or boredom, set a subgoal that requires completion of only a couple more problems before taking a short break. This should help minimize angry outbursts and distraction. Next, use encouragement, rewards, or loss of privileges in order to get your youngster to focus slightly longer. If your child has an angry outburst when the subgoal is set, give him an opportunity to take a “time-out” before working. He can choose to either work on the subgoal, or to go to a designated area until he calms down (e.g., "You can finish your Math assignment now, or take a time-out and finish it in a few minutes”). However, make it clear that once he has calmed down, the only choice is to return to work on the subgoal. This provides your youngster a chance for an outlet for his frustration, but it also sets clear limits so that he must eventually complete the subgoal. This will also help you limit your “lectures about the importance of completing homework.”

The strategy described in Step 3 will have the most impact if it is used daily. Look for opportunities involving homework, chores, or play activities. Look for every chance to build pride and “effort.” Pay less attention to “productivity” or “successful completion” of activities/tasks.


==> Need tips on how to handle your child's fixations and obsessions? You'll find more than you'll need right here...


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

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How To Discipline Rebellious Aspergers and HFA Teens

"Nothing we have done to get our ASD teen to avoid the ups and downs of his behavior and mood swings has helped. We need help now!"

Disciplining a teenager with Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) is likely to bring out the best and the worst in a parent. Moms and dads try to help their “special needs” teenager make up for what's missing by increasing their love and attention, but he or she often triggers special frustrations in parents.

Most teens go through predictable stages of development in adolescence. You know about when to expect what behavior and how long it will last. Knowing you don't have to weather this “difficult behavior” indefinitely helps you cope. But with many teens on the autism spectrum, stages seem to go on forever, as do the frustrations in both the teenager and the parent.

Parenting an Aspergers or HFA son or daughter is a tough job. The ups and downs and joys and sorrows are magnified. You rejoice at each accomplishment, and you worry about each new challenge.

Here are some important tips for disciplining the special needs teen:

1. Aspergers and HFA teenagers need developmentally-appropriate structure, but it requires sensitivity on your part to figure out what is needed when. Watch the teen, not the calendar. Try to get inside his head.

2. Be prepared to run out of patience.

3. Be sure to change your standards. Before a child is even born, moms and dads imagine what his life will be like (e.g., piano lessons, baseball, graduating from college, marriage, etc.). Even with a “typical” teen, you have to reconcile these dreams with reality as he grows up. With a teen on the autism spectrum, this is a bigger task. You learn to live in the present. The milestones of your teen's life are less defined and the future less predictable (though he may surprise you). In the meantime, set your standards for your teen at an appropriate level.

4. Don't compare your “special needs” child to other “typical” children. Your Aspergers or HFA teen is special. Comparing her to others of the same age is not fair.

5. Don't focus on the disorder. Instead, practice positive parenting to the highest degree that you can without shortchanging other members of the family. Feeling loved and valued from positive parenting helps a teen cope with the lack of a particular skill.

==> Discipline for Defiant Aspergers Teens

6. Visual aids may help your teenager see the reason for the consequence.  Make an “if/then chart” or a “discipline chart” that shows exactly what will happen if the teenager engages in a particular behavior.  Another visual aid that comes in handy is a “rewards chart.”  Equal importance should be placed on good behavior, including lots of praise and tangible rewards, to balance out the negativity.

7. View “misbehavior” as a signal of needs. Everything teenagers do tells you something about what they need. This principle is particularly true with Aspergers and HFA teenagers.

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8. There are occasions when negative consequences become necessary (e.g., grounding, taking away privileges, etc.), but they should always be immediate, definite, and relevant. Teens on the spectrum tend not to perceive cause and effect and are likely to have short memories, so prolonged consequences not only lose their impact, but also their effectiveness. Taking away the teen’s favorite activity for being rude to his mother or father, for example, is not relevant to the infraction. The focus for the teen, then, becomes the lost privilege and his anger at his mom or dad – not what he did to incur the consequence in the first place. A more appropriate consequence might be for the mother or father to respond, "I won't listen to that kind of talk," and walk away.

9. Teens with Aspergers and HFA thrive on structure and clear rules. Thus, posting a list of unacceptable behaviors and their consequences can be very helpful.

10. These young people tend to enjoy being isolated, because it is less stressful for them and they do not have to socialize with others. For these teens, being sent to their bedrooms for a time-out can actually be a positive experience unless modified slightly (e.g., being sent to the bedroom with no computer privileges).

11. Reset your anger buttons. Your "special needs" teen will do some things that exasperate you.

12. Remember that discipline literally means "teach" – not "punish." Negative punishments rarely change unwanted behavior permanently. They only stop the behavior in that particular time and setting. Positive consequences, on the other hand, have been shown to be far more effective in changing inappropriate behavior patterns. Aspergers and HFA teens respond well to praise, encouragement, and positive reinforcement. Complimenting the teenager for a responsible, cooperative, or compassionate act will tend to promote that behavior.

13. Moms and dads should list the behaviors that they feel are most deserving of attention. This is an important step because some behaviors may need intervention or therapy in order to be eliminated rather than simple disciplinary tactics. Odd self-soothing behaviors are common in young people with sensory processing issues, and they can be easily replaced with more appropriate ones.

14. Give your teen choices. Initially, you may have to guide your teen into making a choice, but just the ability to make a choice helps the teen feel important. Present the choices in the teen's language. The more you use this tip, the more you will learn about your teen's abilities and preferences.

15. Help your teen build a sense of responsibility. There is a natural tendency to want to rush in and do things for a “special needs” teen. For these teenagers, the principle of "show them how to fish rather than give them a fish" applies all the more. The sense of accomplishment that accompanies being given responsibility gives the teen a sense of value and raises his self-esteem.

==> Discipline for Defiant Aspergers Teens

16. Know that “different” doesn't mean “lesser.” In a teenager's mind, being different means being substandard. This feeling may be more of a problem for “typical” teens than for Aspergers and HFA teens. Most teenagers measure their self-worth by how they believe others perceive them. Be sure your teen's siblings don't fall into this "different equals inferior" trap. This is why the term "special needs" is not only socially correct, but it's a positive term, not a value judgment. In reality, all teenagers could wear this label.

17. Know that “different” doesn't mean “unable.” While it is true you have to change your expectations of an Aspergers or HFA teen, you don't have to lower your standards of discipline. It's tempting to get lax and let your teenager get by with behaviors you wouldn't tolerate from your other kids. Your teen needs to know, early on, what behavior you expect. Many moms and dads wait too long to start behavior training. It's much harder to redirect a 130 pound young man than a 50 pound boy. Like all teenagers, the Aspergers or HFA teen must be taught to adjust to family routines, to obey, and to manage his behavior.

18. Moms and dads need to be in agreement when applying discipline to any teenager, but especially for teens on the spectrum. If one parent thinks grounding is the appropriate punishment, while the other feels that time-outs will be more effective, this will be confusing for the teenager.


The Struggles in Adolescence for Teens on the Autism Spectrum 




Disciplining a teenager with Aspergers or HFA is not an easy task, particularly in light of some of the characteristics commonly associated with the disorder (e.g., a short memory for misdeeds but not for the consequences, the inability to perceive cause and effect and to generalize from one situation to another, the tendency to blame others rather than assume responsibility for behavior, etc.). Nonetheless, with patience, humor, and a sense of perspective, moms and dads can become their teen's ally, even in their role of authority.

==> Discipline for Defiant Aspergers Teens
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The Picture Exchange Communication System: Help for Language Problems in Kids on the Autism Spectrum

The communication problems of kids on the autism spectrum vary, depending on their intellectual and social development. Some may not speak much, whereas others may have rich vocabularies and are able to talk about topics of interest in great depth. Most have difficulty effectively using language. Many also have problems with word/sentence meaning and understanding.

A lack of communication skills may cause inappropriate behaviors and challenging situations for both the youngster and parent. The Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS) is an augmentative communication system developed to help these “special needs” kids quickly acquire a functional means of communication.



PECS is appropriate for kids who do not use speech or who may speak with limited effectiveness (i.e., those who have articulation or motor planning difficulties, limited communicative partners, or a lack of initiative in communication). PECS has a number of advantages over other methods of addressing communication. Most importantly, it works, which encourages the youngster to communicate more often, reducing frustrating situations.

When your youngster hands you a picture or sentence strip, you can easily understand what they are trying to communicate with you. From the start, communication is initiated by your youngster, making it meaningful and highly motivating. It is an inexpensive communication system.

A PECS symbol can be as simple as a hand-drawn picture, or a snapshot. The youngster is able to communicate with anyone, versus sign language. Anyone willing to accept a picture is available, not just those who understand sign language or who are familiar enough with the youngster to understand him/her. Kids are able to generalize communication to a wide variety of situations and people.

A uniform system for using Velcro fasteners on your symbols, boards, and books needs to be established. This will ensure that all of your PECS symbols can be used with any of the boards or books within the youngster's environment.

PECS is an inexpensive card system that involves cards on which pictures or sentences are placed that have meaning to the youngster and can communicate for him. Once a card is given, the needs of the youngster are quickly understood, and the need is met by the parent. The communication is initiated by the youngster so that there are no memorization skills required.

Moms and dads can draw their own PECS cards, or they can purchase the PECS system through Amazon (see below). The picture can be elaborate or just be a symbol that the child attaches meaning to. The vocabulary is gradually increased so that many pictures are available in the communication process.

One of the values of this system is that it’s not exactly sign language so that anyone who can interpret a simple picture can learn what it takes to help the child get his or her needs met. It can be used at home as well as in school.

Autism Supplies And Developments Picture Exchange Communication System Behaviour Keyring




MORE TOOLS FOR PARENTS:

==> Calming Products for Kids on the Spectrum
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Effective Discipline for "Sensitive" Children with High-Functioning Autism

"When we discipline our child, she will often go into a meltdown (like we are hurting her somehow). How can we set limits without her viewing it as negative punishment (so to speak) or that we are trying to 'make her feel bad'?"

Many children with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) have been known to “meltdown” immediately after being reprimanded or disciplined by parents. Even the mildest form of correction (e.g., being told to stop banging a toy on the furniture) can be very upsetting to these “special needs” children.

A youngster who cries easily, shows excessive responses to appropriate consequences and general discipline, or breaks downs over minor issues is considered “sensitive.” Sensitive kids on the autism spectrum pose some significant challenges when it comes to discipline. They tend to become emotionally overwhelmed easily, are likely to get upset if the parent raises an eyebrow at their behavior, and often worry about getting into trouble.

What earmarks a youngster as sensitive?  

Sensitive kids may exhibit one or all of the following characteristics (the key is to notice a pattern of behavior and the degree to which your son or daughter exhibits one or more of the following):
  • Does he ask profound questions, think a lot on his own, or reflect on his experiences?
  • Does he seem especially sensitive to the feelings of animals?
  • Does she feel a wide, yet intense range of emotions?
  • Does she notice when small household items are moved, or minor changes in other people (e.g., a haircut)?
  • Does she sometimes get so excited she withdraws?
  • Does your youngster get emotionally overwhelmed easily?
  • Is your youngster highly aware of her surroundings?
  • Is your youngster highly sensitive to his senses (e.g., excellent sense of smell or hearing, very sensitive to pain, etc.)?

Coming to the conclusion that your AS or HFA youngster is sensitive can be tough – not tough to understand, but tough to swallow. But don’t despair! It is better that you know early on and take steps toward helping your youngster deal with his or her world going forward. 

As a mother or father, you may struggle trying to discipline your sensitive child. He may become hysterical when you enforce rules, or appear totally devastated when you correct improper behavior. But, discipline is part of parenting, and there are ways to discipline even a sensitive youngster. When determining your disciplinary methods, take your youngster’s sensitivities into account. Harsh discipline (i.e., punishment) or severe consequences (i.e., consequences that are disproportionate to the misbehavior) will make a bad problem worse. Instead, find ways to nurture and guide your “special needs” youngster.

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Here are just a few ways to effectively discipline sensitive children on the autism spectrum:

1. Although it’s tempting to bend the rules so as to not upset your sensitive AS or HFA youngster, it won’t be helpful in the long run. Flexibility with some rules is perfectly acceptable, but remember that your main task as a parent is to teach your youngster how to be a responsible grown-up. Overprotective and/or overindulgent parenting does not prepare children for the real world – it literally stunts their emotional growth.

2. Many sensitive kids on the spectrum get easily distressed when they have to make a decision, and they often reject opportunities out of fear.  Sometimes the best thing a parent can do is “nudge” her youngster to take a risk or try something new. If your sensitive youngster knows you will be there for him – and love him no matter what he is feeling – he will have less hesitation in new situations, and will be less self-conscious or “risk-averse.” Also, if he knows you’re not going to “push” him to be something he’s not, he will be more relaxed and prepared for the challenges ahead.

3. Rather than sending your sensitive youngster to "time-out" for bad behavior, create a “relaxation zone.” This is a place where he can go to unwind and recompose himself. Supply the zone with constructive activities (e.g., crayons and paper). Decorate it with soft pillows, or fill it with stuffed animals. When your sensitive youngster begins to act-out, direct him to his relaxation zone where he can have a break. This also gives you an opportunity to regain YOUR composure and rationally figure out the best way to address your child’s behavioral issue.

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's


4. Don’t try to change your youngster’s temperament. Instead, try to help her learn how to cope with sensitivity in a less sensitive world. Instead of viewing her as “weak and whiny,” focus on her abilities and gifts.

5. Make small changes over an extended period of time. If you need to make changes to your youngster’s environment, make them little by little. He will feel less overwhelmed and agitated as a result.

6. When issuing a consequence, explain your reasoning. As a mother or father, you probably believe that your youngster should follow the house rules because you are the “boss.” But, sensitive kids on the autism spectrum do best when parents explain their actions. These children are not necessarily trying to be defiant or questioning your authority and decisions, they simply don't understand why the rules are in place. So, take the time to explain why you are disciplining your child and why you want him to stop a particular behavior (e.g., “You are using this sharp knife as a toy. This is not a toy. You could cut yourself, and I don’t want that to happen. So from now on, if you choose to play with the knives again, you will also choose a consequence.”).

7. Praise your youngster’s “efforts” rather than only praising success. Make it clear that hard work is worthy of praise, even if it doesn’t turn out perfectly in the end. For example, provide praise for behaving bravely, for handling frustration appropriately, or for telling the truth (some sensitive kids lie to get out of trouble, so provide them with a lot of praise for being honest, especially if their honesty doesn’t paint them favorably).

8. Reframe your child’s sensitivities (i.e., turn it into a positive). Help her understand that she simply experiences the world more deeply than most kids – and help her see the strengths associated with this. For example, she probably notices things most people don't, or she may have the ability to stay highly focused on a subject of interest or a favored activity.

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

9. Sensitive children on the spectrum are often overwhelmed and exhausted after dealing with crowds, noisy environments, bright lights, and other sources of over-stimulation. These children often need time to relax and take a break – otherwise, you can expect a meltdown. Thus, avoid over-scheduling your youngster or expecting too much participation in activities that may involve over-stimulation. Some moms and dads find it helpful to offer their youngster a “serenity corner” with quiet activities (e.g., coloring books, an iPod with soothing music, magazines to read, etc.).

10. Don’t try to force your AS or HFA youngster to adapt to society’s demands. Love and accept him unconditionally. You can’t change who he is. He needs to know you love him no matter how he perceives or reacts to the world.

11. Sensitive children need consequences for poor choices just like any other youngster. Just because a “special needs” boy or girl cries or feels bad doesn’t mean he or she should not receive a consequence for a particular behavioral problem. However, it is important to use discipline (i.e., parental instruction) and not punishment (i.e., parental revenge). Logical consequences are very helpful in the case of the AS or HFA child, because they connect the consequence directly to the misbehavior.

12. Sensitive children need to learn how to verbalize their uncomfortable emotions, and they need to discover appropriate ways to cope with those emotions. “Emotion coaching” can be an excellent way to help these young people how to identify and deal with uncomfortable feelings in socially acceptable ways.




13. “Demonstrate” rather than “order.” When your sensitive youngster acts badly, show her the behavior that you expect. In a calm manner using a soft voice, tell her to “stop and watch.” Then start doing the same behavior that she was doing (she may think you are being silly and realize how ridiculous her behavior was). Next, show her the proper behavior. The act of seeing what you expect (rather than listening to your lectures) will make a stronger and more memorable impact.

14. Before issuing a consequence for misbehavior, step away from the situation momentarily while you select your words carefully. Take a calm tone and clearly explain your youngster's incorrect behavior and the resultant consequence. Patiently explain to her the behavior that you expect in the future. After she has calmed down, give her a hug and reassure her that everything will be fine.

15. Sensitive children often feel bad if they “get in trouble,” so simply changing the way you word things can spin it into a reward (e.g., instead of saying, “You can’t play your video game unless you eat some of your vegetables,” …say, “If you eat some of your vegetables, you can earn some time to play video games!”). Create a formal reward system to help your child earn rewards consistently. However, always remember that the sensitive child usually feels bad if he doesn’t earn a reward. Thus, be prepared to praise his efforts and use reminders like, “You can try again tomorrow.”

In conclusion, consider being more sensitive yourself as the parent. Being a sensitive mom or dad may be helpful in understanding your AS or HFA youngster’s temperament and particular needs as to his sensitivities (e.g., lights, crowds, sounds, clothes, and other preferences). It is especially helpful if a sensitive youngster is born to a well-adjusted, sensitive parent that can steer him in the right emotional direction. Of course, this is true of any youngster with good role models. But, sensitive kids need especially good role models, because they are learning how to use their “gift of sensitivity” in a world that usually doesn't value this trait.

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Our Top 10 Picks for Books on Parenting Autistic Children




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More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book


==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

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Crucial Strategies for Parents of Challenging Kids on the Autism Spectrum

    Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum :   ==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children ...