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Marriage Difficulties and Raising Children on the Autism Spectrum

5 Ways to Help Reduce Anxiety in Children with Aspergers

Many advancements have been made in recent years in order to help children with Asperger's Syndrome better manage emotional strife. Because the effects of Asperger’s can range from emotional hypersensitivity to difficulty expressing emotional affect, children diagnosed with Asperger's often require additional support.

Anxiety for children with Aspergers can present a particularly challenging struggle for both the children and their families. Below are some carefully researched suggestions in order to reduce anxiety in children with Asperger’s Syndrome.

First, children with Aspergers often function well with routines and struggle when routines are broken or something unexpected suddenly springs up. Predictable daily schedules will help reduce and prevent anxiety in a child with Asperger's because he or she can understand what to expect on a daily basis out of any situation.



Nonetheless, changes in our routines are inevitable. When changes are anticipated to the child’s routine, it is important to verbalize to him or her what to expect from the situation. If the child is meeting a new person, explain the relationship of this person to the family. If going on vacation or visiting a new place, preview with the child some of the sights, sounds, and experiences he or she can anticipate from the change of scenery.

Allow for the child to begin to process and interpret the new situation beforehand in order to help him or her cope better with the change in routine.

Often, when a child with Asperger's is struggling with anxiety, one of the best solutions to offer include items that help to stimulate the child’s senses. Weighted blankets are a useful tool to include in a child’s bedding.

These blankets are carefully designed to place additional pressure upon the person using them. The intention is for the child to feel an extra tight snuggle. Medical experts support that the added pressure can even simulate the experience and safety and security of the womb.

Much like weighted blankets, pressurized clothing and fabrics are available. Pressurized clothing stimulates the senses. In many cases, these are items like undergarment vests or leggings that allow for the child to actively connect with his or her body and use sensorial coping strategies in order to alleviate tension.

In addition, parents can purchase full body socks that function much like a sleeping bag or cocoon. These items allow for the child to stretch out but to feel secure with added sensorial pressure. These materials help the child to develop motor skills, promote sensory awareness, and help alleviate anxiety when a child is feeling tense.

Apart from fabrics and materials, there are also manual items and toys that can help a child with Asperger's handle his or her anxiety. Children with Asperger's can benefit from both tactile and visual stimulation. Many hand-held items including toys, fidget spinners, and even putties exist to alleviate anxiety.

Fidget toys and spinners are often multifaceted toys that allow for the child to spin, pull, press, twist, or squeeze a small item manually to help to promote sensory awareness and alleviate immediate tension. Similarly, stress putty, much like silly putty or molding clay, can be used to relieve anxiety, offering the child something small and stimulating to squeeze when he or she is feeling anxious.

The final recommendation is a popular solution in modern alternative medicine. Pure essential oils logically help Asperger's children with anxiety because they stimulate the olfactory senses. According to Mental Health Matters, common fragrances selected for anxiety include lavender, chamomile, eucalyptus, frankincense, and peppermint extracts.

Pure essential oils can be used aromatically using an essential oil diffuser to produce a light scented mist, or they can be used in sprays and lotions to apply to fabric or even directly onto the body. The effects of pure essential oils can be extremely calming and soothing, especially combined with other relaxation techniques. If curious about essential oils, please follow this link for more information and to purchase: Pure Path Essential Oils

The struggles for children with Asperger's Syndrome are unique in many situations. However, taking these suggestions in mind, it is important for children with Asperger's to be able to process their environment and to feel secure. With the assistance of these techniques, parents of children with Asperger's can best assist their children in any anxiety-provoking situation.

Anxiety Management in High-Functioning Autism: 25 Tips for Parents

Anxiety can't be measured or observed except through its behavioral manifestation, either verbal or nonverbal (e.g., crying, complaining of a stomachache or headache, crawling under the table, becoming argumentative, etc.).

To manage the anxiety in Aspergers and High-Functioning Autistic (HFA) kids, moms and dads are encouraged to do any – or all – of the following:

1. Avoid over-scheduling. Soccer, karate, baseball, music lessons, play-dates the list of extracurricular activities children can take on is endless. But too many activities can easily lead to stress and anxiety in kids. Just as grownups need some downtime after work and on weekends, kids also need some quiet time alone to decompress.

2. Be flexible and try to maintain a normal routine.

3. Consult a counselor or your pediatrician. If you suspect that a change in the family such as a new sibling, a move, divorce, or a death of a family member is behind your youngster's stress and anxiety, seek advice from an expert such as your youngster's school counselor, your pediatrician, or a child therapist.

4. Create an anxiety hierarchy, and put the events in order from easy to hard.

5. Develop, practice, and rehearse new behaviors prior to exposure to the real anxiety-producing situation.

==> Preventing Meltdowns and Tantrums in HFA Children

6. Don’t dismiss his feelings. Telling your youngster “not to worry about his fears” may only make him feel like he’s doing something wrong by feeling anxious. Let him know that it’s okay to feel bad about something, and encourage him to share his emotions and thoughts.

7. Don’t punish mistakes or lack of progress.

8. Get him/her outside. Exercise can boost mood, so get him moving. Even if it’s just for a walk around the block, fresh air and physical activity may be just what he needs to lift his spirits and give him a new perspective on things.

9. Gradually shift “anxiety control” to your youngster by preparing him for anxiety-producing situations by discussing antecedents, settings, triggers, and actions to take.

10. Help your youngster identify the source of the anxiety if he is old enough to understand this concept.

11. If he is old enough, teach your youngster increasing independence in anticipating and coping with anxiety in a variety of situations.



12. Implement new behaviors in the actual situations where anxiety occurs.

13. Keep your youngster healthy. Make sure he’s eating right and getting enough sleep. Not getting enough rest or eating nutritious meals at regular intervals can contribute to your youngster’s stress. If he feels good, he’ll be better equipped to work through whatever is bothering him.

14. Limit your youngster's exposure to upsetting news or stories. If she sees or hears upsetting images or accounts of natural disasters such as earthquakes or tsunamis or sees disturbing accounts of violence or terrorism on the news, talk to her about what's going on. Reassure her that she and the people she loves are not in danger. Talk about the aide that people who are victims of disasters or violence receive from humanitarian groups, and discuss ways that she may help, such as by working with her school to raise money for the victims.

15. Listen carefully to your youngster. You know how enormously comforting it can be just to have someone listen when something’s bothering you. Do the same thing for your youngster. If he doesn’t feel like talking, let him know you are there for him. Just be by his side and remind him that you love him and support him.

16. Make a list of numerous anxiety-producing situations, from easy ones to those that are more difficult (this is called “anxiety mapping”).

17. Modify expectations during stressful periods.

18. Offer comfort and distraction. Try to do something she enjoys, like playing a favorite game or cuddling in your lap and having you read to her, just as you did when she was younger. When the chips are down, even a 10-year-old will appreciate a good dose of parent TLC.

19. Plan for transitions (e.g., allow extra time in the morning if getting to school is difficult).

20. Prevent anxiety by “external control” (i.e., structuring the environment to make it predictable, consistent, and safe).

==> Discipline for Defiant Asperger's and HFA Teens

21. Use psychological, environmental and psychopharmacological treatments as needed (see below).

22. Recognize and praise small accomplishments.

23. Set a calm example. You can set the tone for how stress and anxiety in kids is handled in your house. It's virtually impossible to block out stress from our lives in today's high-tech, 24-hour-news-cycle world, but you can do something about how you handle your own stress. And the more you are able to keep things calm and peaceful at home, the less likely it is that anxiety in kids will be a problem in your household.

24. Stay calm when your youngster becomes anxious about a situation or event.

25. Stick to routines. Balance any changes by trying to maintain as much of her regular routine as possible. Try to stick to her regular bedtime and mealtimes, if possible.

Behavioral Manifestations of Anxiety in Kids on the Autism Spectrum:



==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Summary of Anxiety Treatments for Children on the Autism Spectrum—

1. Psychological Treatments:
  • Behavioral Therapies: Focus on using techniques such as guided imagery, relaxation training, progressive desensitization, flooding as means to reduce anxiety responses or eliminate specific phobias.
  • Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: Addresses underlying “automatic” thoughts and feelings that result from thoughts, as well as specific techniques to reduce or replace maladaptive behavior patterns.
  • Psychotherapy: Centers on resolution of conflicts and stresses, as well as the developmental aspects of an anxiety disorders solely through talk therapy.
2. Environmental Treatments:
  • Reduction of stressors. Identify and remove or reduce stressful tasks or situations at home, school and work.
  • Good sleep habits. Getting adequate, restful sleep improves response to interventions to treat anxiety disorders.
  • Avoidance or minimization of stimulants. No caffeine, minimize use of asthma medications if possible (bronchodilators, theophylline), avoid use of nasal decongestants, some cough medications, and diet pills.
3. Psychopharmacological Treatments (used as a last resort only):
  • Antihistamines: Older medications used for mild to moderate anxiety for many years. These, like the benzodiazepines, work fairly quickly (Atarax, Vistaril).
  • Benzodiazepines: Long-acting are best (Klonopin, Ativan, Valium, Librium, Serax) to quickly reduce the symptoms of an anxiety disorder. However, if used long term the result may be that tolerance develops.
  • Buspirone (BuSpar): A new serotonergic combination agonist/antagonist. Is nonaddicting, but may take 2 to 4 weeks for full effect.
  • Combination Serotonin/Norepinephrine Agents: New medications such as Effexor, Serzone, and Remeron, also with excellent tolerability and effectiveness. Takes 4 to 6 weeks for full response.
  • Major Tranquilizers (also called neuroleptics): Medications that act on a variety of neurotransmitter systems (acetylcholine, dopamine, histamine, adrenergic). Most are somewhat sedating, and have been used in situations where anxiety is severe enough to cause disorganization of thoughts and abnormal physical and mental sensations, such as the sense that things around you aren't real (derealization) or that you are disconnected with your body (derealization). Commonly used neuroleptics include: Zyprexa, Risperdal, Seroquel, Mellaril, Thorazine, Stelazine, Moban, Navane, Prolixin, and Haldol.
  • Serotonergic Agents: Newer antidepressants act as antianxiety agents as well, with excellent tolerability and effectiveness. Takes 4 to 6 weeks for full response (Luvox, Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil).
  • Tricyclic Antidepressants (TCAs): Older antidepressants with more side effects typically than the serotonergic agents, but also effective. Takes 4 to 6 weeks for full response (Tofranil, Elavil, Pamelor, Sinequan) 

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
 
 
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Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

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Teaching Interpersonal Relationship Skills to the "Friendless" Child on the Autism Spectrum

One of the most significant problems for children with Asperger’s (AS) and High Functioning Autism (HFA) is difficulty in social interaction. AS and HFA also create problems with "mind reading" (i.e., knowing what another person might be thinking or feeling).

Most young people can observe others and guess (through a combination of tone and body language) what's "really" going on. But without help and training, AS and HFA children can't.

What comes naturally to “typical” kids does not come naturally to kids on the autism spectrum. The lack of interpersonal relationship skills makes it difficult for these boys and girls to make and keep friends – and often leads to social isolation. Now for the good news: Parents can learn to teach interpersonal relationship skills to their “special needs” youngsters.

Indicators That Your Child Needs Social Skills Training 



Here are some concrete ways to give AS and HFA children the tools they need to interact appropriately in social situations:

1. Practice reciprocal interactions. Some kids with AS and HFA have very one-sided conversations. They often talk only about their favorite subject, fail to ask questions to the peer they converse with, and fail to acknowledge interests of the peer. Thus, teach your youngster how to ask questions during a conversation, and practice taking turns while talking. Let your youngster ask a question, answer it, and let him ask another question. Do this exercise regularly to teach him how to have a conversation.

2. Rehearse social situations through role-play. If your youngster has difficulty in a specific social situation, practice it beforehand. Kids with AS and HFA must be taught what to say and do in specific situations. Engage in role-play with your youngster to physically act-out the situation. Tell him what he is expected to say or do, and then actually have him act it out with you.

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management

3. Consider involving your child in a skills-acquisition group. Relationship skills groups offer an opportunity for children with AS and HFA to practice their interpersonal skills with each other and/or “typical” peers on a regular basis.

4. Teachers can play a crucial role in teaching social skills to students on the autism spectrum. These skills need to be learned and understood well enough by the AS or HFA students to generalize them to outside situations beyond the classroom environment. Thus, to promote “skill generalization,” interventions should focus on orchestrating peer-involvement by prompting students to engage and initiate social interactions with classmates.

Teachers can also work with each individual student to practice new skills learned. Involving outside people (e.g., moms and dads, other family members, other classrooms) to promote different interactions can easily support this. Additionally, field trips can help provide natural and safe settings to practice interpersonal relationship skills outside of the classroom. Lastly, intervention sessions should be used to practice skills (e.g., assigning homework tasks) to increase repetition of training and ensure long-lasting learning.

5. Interpersonal relationship skills should not be a set of hard-and-fast rules. You can’t force AS or HFA kids to memorize them the way they would a set of multiplication tables. Different situations call for dynamic thinking. Thus, teach problem-solving and new ways to approach a particular challenge.



6. Parents can teach their youngsters how to recognize the feelings of others. Many kids with AS and HFA have great difficulty understanding how others feel by reading cues. This greatly impacts their social interactions. Therefore, use picture cards, books and magazines to point out facial expressions to your youngster. Teach her what each facial expression is and what it means. Let her practice by telling you what each facial expression is and what it means.

7. The biggest mistake parents can make is to assume that interpersonal relationship skills can be taught once and remembered forever. Social interaction is fluid, with so many variables that it can be daunting even to a “typical” youngster. For those on the spectrum, the training must continue far longer. Challenges get more and more complex as a youngster ages, bringing more things into the picture. So, be sure to go over the skills your child learned in the beginning on a regular basis, adding in more skills that can help her fine-tune her interactions.

8. Make use of “social skills training” materials. There are many tools and interventions available that involve using videos, software or virtual-reality programs to teach complex interpersonal relationship skills (e.g., recognition of emotions in facial expressions and tone of voice).

9. Make use of social stories. Social stories are simple stories written from the youngster's point of view. Each story describes a specific situation, what other people will do or say in that situation, and what your youngster is expected to do or say in that situation. Information on how to write social stories can be found HERE.

10. Locate resources in your area. Drama therapy, for example, is somewhat unusual, but where it's offered, it has the potential to be both fun and educational. Video modeling, video critiques of interactions, group therapy and other approaches may also be available in your area.

Training an AS or HFA youngster in relationship skills may take months – or even years. You may not see any improvement at first – but over time, it will happen. Stay the course, try new training methods, and be there for your youngster as he matures. Positive results will come if you keep at them.

Take into account the many facets of social interaction. Think about your youngster's strengths and weaknesses. Know his abilities as well as his language skills. With plenty of forethought, you can implement a good social skills training program for your child.

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management

How to Improve Your asd Child’s Chances of Finding and Keeping Friends

"My child is so desperate to find just one close friend. It breaks my heart when he tries so hard to make friends but eventually gets rejected. How do you teach friendship skills? How can I help?!"

For most children with ASD [High Functioning Autism], the most important part of a treatment strategy involves the development of communication and social competence.

This emphasis doesn’t reflect a societal pressure for conformity or an attempt to stifle individuality and uniqueness. Rather, it reflects the clinical fact that most children with ASD are not loners by choice, and that there is a tendency (as these young people develop towards adolescence) for despondency, negativism, and depression as a result of the child's increasing awareness of personal inadequacy in social situations and repeated experiences of failure to make and/or maintain relationships.

The typical limitations of insight and self-reflection experienced by children with ASD often preclude spontaneous self-adjustment to social and interpersonal demands. The practice of communication and social skills doesn’t imply the eventual acquisition of communicative or social spontaneity and naturalness; however; it does better prepare the child to cope with social and interpersonal expectations, thus enhancing their attractiveness as conversational partners or as potential friends.

The following are suggestions intended to foster relevant skills in this crucial area:

1. The child with ASD should be taught to monitor her or his own speech style in terms of:
  • adjusting depending on proximity to the listener
  • background noise
  • context and social situation
  • naturalness
  • number of people
  • rhythm
  • volume

2. The child should be helped to recognize and use a range of different means to disagree, discuss, interact, mediate, negotiate, and persuade through verbal means. In terms of formal properties of language, the child may benefit from help in thinking about idiomatic language that can only be understood in its own right, and practice in identifying them in both text and conversation.

It’s also important to help the child to develop the ability to anticipate multiple outcomes, to explain motivation, to make inferences, and to predict in order to increase the flexibility with which he or she thinks about - and uses language with - other people.

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management

3. The effort to develop the child's skills with peers in terms of managing social situations should be a priority. This should include:
  • ending topics appropriately
  • feeling comfortable with a range of topics that are typically discussed by same-age peers
  • shifting topics
  • the ability to expand and elaborate on a range of different topics initiated by others
  • topic management

4. Explicit verbal instructions on how to interpret other people's social behavior should be taught and exercised in a rote fashion. Facial and hand gestures, gaze, non-literal communications (e.g., sarcasm, metaphor, humor, figurative language and irony), the meaning of eye contact, tone of voice, and various inflections should all be taught in a fashion not unlike the teaching of a foreign language (i.e., all elements should be made verbally explicit and repeatedly drilled).



5. The same principles as described in #4 should guide the training of the child's expressive skills:
  • Self-monitoring techniques (e.g., practicing in front of a mirror, listening to the recorded speech, watching a video recorded behavior, etc.) should all be incorporated in this program.
  • Social situations contrived in the therapeutic setting that usually require reliance on visual-receptive and other nonverbal skills for interpretation should be used. Also, strategies for deciphering the most salient nonverbal dimensions inherent in these situations should be offered.
  • Encounters with unfamiliar people (e.g., making acquaintances) should be rehearsed until the child is made aware of the impact of her or his behavior on other people's reactions to her or him. 
  • Concrete situations should be exercised in a therapeutic setting and gradually implemented in naturally occurring situations.

As a final note, all those in close contact with the ASD child should be made aware of the program so that consistency, monitoring and contingent reinforcement are maximized.


Simple Ways To Teach Social Skills to Your Child 



==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD


 COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said... I have a 16 yr old son with aspergers. He has really come out of his shell this year. I attribute it a lot to the fact that we have talked alot about the positive aspects of aspergers, showing him all the greatly successful people with aspergers and we also got him a book for teens written by a women who has it. If you ever want to talk I'd be happy to share with you what has worked for us
•    Anonymous said... My son has aspergers and I have had such a hard time finding a therapist who has made a connection with him to help in any real way if you have any suggestions would love input.
•    Anonymous said... My son is almost 13 & we could use it here too!!!
•    Anonymous said... Our son has recently been diagnosed with HFA and this is exactly the sort of training he needs but have no idea where to turn to get him it. We try at home but it's difficult as he feels it more as a criticism of his current lack of skills rather than we're trying to help. I'm sure professional help would be so much better. As I say, I just don't know where to turn to access such support?
•    Anonymous said... would love to hear what's worked for your family! I have 14yr old boy in denial so can't mention it without him getting very defensive. He shows all the traits mentioned in the post! I have bought an ebook for teenage AS and I'm waiting for the next melt down. I will then open the bedroom door, throw it in, and take cover!!

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