Search This Blog

Symptoms of ASD that 'Look Like' Disobedience

"I have a 9-year-old with high functioning autism who over-reacts both at home and at school when things don’t go his way, which then turns into a meltdown that disrupts the entire house (or classroom). And I never know if this behavior is a symptom of the disorder or just plain disobedience, which leaves me clueless as to whether or not I should discipline my son. Any insight will be greatly appreciated."

Think of your son’s behavior as an iceberg. The behavior you are actually seeing is the tip of the iceberg, but there's a lot more going on under the surface. Children with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can't always express their feelings through facial expressions, body language or speech.

Instead, they may be expressed through other behaviors. Your son might be trying to tell you he is tired, stressed, annoyed by something that happened earlier, or in need of some time alone. So don’t simply assume that, when your child is acting-out, it is tied to “not getting his way” (sometimes there will be a connection between the two, other times not).



There is a range of reasons why young people with HFA have difficulties with behavior. The world can be a confusing, isolating and daunting place for your son, and it is his fundamental difficulties with communication and social interaction that are often the root cause of difficult behavior. There are some other possible reasons, too. For example:

1. Children with HFA can find it difficult to cope with change, whether a temporary change to their timetable at school, or a more permanent change such as moving house. You may find that your son's behavior alters at times of change, but settles as he becomes used to a new environment or routine.

2. Communication difficulties can impact on how young people with HFA deal with social situations. They may find social situations very demanding or stressful because they have to work hard to communicate with other people. These kids often don’t understand that other people hold different views from theirs. This may also make social situations difficult.

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in HFA Children

3. Young people with HFA may not understand 'social rules' (i.e., unwritten rules that govern social situations), such as how close to stand to other people or how to take a turn in conversation. This is especially true if they find themselves in a new, unfamiliar situation. Therefore, social situations can be daunting and unpredictable. Some may engage in a particular behavior to try and avoid social contact.

4. If your son's behavior suddenly changes for the worse, check that there isn't a medical reason for the distress. Young people with HFA can find it difficult to tell parents how they're feeling or where something hurts, even if their verbal communication is generally good. Some have seizures that can cause irritability and confusion, or gastrointestinal problems which may be painful. Parents can try using a pain chart to help their youngster indicate where he is feeling discomfort. Alternatively, some moms and dads use symbols to help their youngster indicate where the pain is.

5. Many young people with HFA have difficulties processing sensory information. For example, they may not be able to manage some tastes or food textures, or find that someone touching them - even lightly - is painful. Certain smells, lights or sounds can be distressing. Some may find it difficult to block-out background noise and what they experience as excessive visual information. Instead, sounds, lights and other sights are all processed at the same level of intensity and lead to sensory overload. You may find that your son starts a repetitive behavior in stressful environments (e.g., hand-flapping, spinning) to try and block-out external sensory information. These children can be very sensitive to subtle changes in their environment. If there's a sudden change in behavior, think about whether there has been a recent change in the environment.

6. Unfortunately, young people with HFA can be at more risk of being bullied than their peers. If you notice a sudden change in your son’s behavior, see if there has been any reported bullying or teasing in school. Your son may find it difficult to tell you if he has been bullied (some AS kids don’t even recognize what bullying is), so you might need to play detective.

7. Kids with HFA can experience a number of difficulties with communication: (a) understanding what's being said to them (i.e., receptive language), (b) understanding non-verbal communication (e.g., facial expressions, body language), and (c) communicating with others (i.e., expressive language). Because of these difficulties, they can find it hard to communicate their needs or to understand what other people are saying to them, or asking them to do. This can cause considerable frustration and anxiety which, if it can't be expressed any other way, may result in challenging behavior.

8. Young people with HFA can find 'sequencing' difficult (i.e., putting what is going to happen in a day in a logical order in their mind). They need to have timetables so they can see what is going to happen, when, and plan for it. However, unstructured time (e.g., break times at school), which can be noisy and chaotic, may be difficult to deal with. This is because it's difficult for them to predict what will happen and how they are expected to behave.
 
==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

You may find that behavioral difficulties occur more in transition times between lessons or activities. Abstract concepts such as time aren't easy to understand, and children with AS and HFA may find it hard to wait. It helps if you can be clear about why and for how long you are waiting (e.g., “We have to wait for five minutes, until 10.30. This is because the doctor can see us at 10.30.”).


Symptoms of Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism that Cause Behavioral Problems 



What can you and your son’s teacher do?

Use a behavior diary to try and find out what triggers a particular behavior. This helps you to monitor the behavior over time and see what the possible causes are (e.g., if always happens at the end of the day when your son is tired after school). One way of recording behavior is an ABC chart. On this, you record the Antecedent (i.e., what happened beforehand, who was there, where your son was), the Behavior itself, and the Consequence (i.e., what happened following the behavior).

By identifying potential triggers for the behavior, it can be easier to come up with ways of preventing it from happening in the future. Interventions are more likely to be successful if they address either the cause or the function of the behavior.

When trying to tackle behavioral difficulties, select only one or two behaviors to focus on at a time. Using too many new strategies with your son at once may result in none of them working at all. Write down all the behaviors you're concerned about, and then prioritize them, choosing the two most important ones to concentrate on first.

Don't worry if things get worse before they get better. Your son will probably resist change initially. This is a normal reaction. Nonetheless, it's important to continue with the strategies you are using and be consistent.


==> Parenting strategies for parents of difficult teens on the autism spectrum...


 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here
to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...

 
Comments:

•    Anonymous said… At the moment, my only theory about my son is that his symptoms are worse when he is constipated. When he is regular, he's okay. The teachers' couldn't find a "smoking gun" for his behaviour in the school
•    Anonymous said… Oh my goodness! My son is the same way! When he is constipated, it is the end of the world as we know it.
•    Anonymous said… Thank you to the author and those who share this! Yes! There are so many judgments that teachers and other school officials make about the kids and this is only one.

Please post your comment below…

Conduct Disorder in Children with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

"My 12 year old son is diagnosed with high functioning autism and conduct disorder (also the suspicion of ADHD). Any other parents out there with this combination in their child? Any advice for us? This has been a very difficult road - with no end in sight. My husband and I are feeling both the physical and mental effects of the stress we have to endure on a daily basis. We are desperate at this point."

Although several studies have suggested an association between violent crime and High-Functioning Autism, few have examined the underlying reasons. All kids display oppositional or aggressive behavior from time to time, especially when they are upset, tired, or hungry. Oppositional behavior (e.g., arguing, lying, and disobeying) is a normal part of development for kids and  teenagers. When this behavior is frequent or excessive, affects the youngster’s home or school life, or violates the rights of others, a conduct disorder may be present.

Conduct disorder (CD) is the most severe psychiatric disorder in childhood, and occurs more frequently in boys than in girls. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the disorder affects an estimated 1-4 percent of teenagers between the ages of 9 and 17 years. Young people with this disorder repeatedly violate the rights of others, and display aggressive, destructive, and deceitful behavior. Identifying the signs and symptoms of CD, and beginning treatment as early in life as possible, is essential in order to prevent the disorder and prognosis from worsening.

==> Parenting System That Stops Meltdowns and Tantrums Before They Start

What is conduct disorder?

Children with CD repeatedly violate the personal or property rights of others and the basic expectations of society. A diagnosis of CD is likely when symptoms continue for 6 months or longer. CD is known as a "disruptive behavior disorder" because of its impact on kids and their families, neighbors, and schools.

Another disruptive behavior disorder, called Oppositional Defiant Disorder ODD), may be a precursor of CD. A youngster is diagnosed with ODD when he or she shows signs of being hostile and defiant for at least 6 months. ODD may start as early as the preschool years, while CD generally appears when kids are older. OCD and CD are not co-occurring conditions.




The Best Way To Help Oppositional Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism:

 

What are the signs of conduct disorder?

Symptoms of conduct disorder include:
  • Aggressive behavior that harms or threatens other people or animals
  • Destructive behavior that damages or destroys property
  • Early tobacco, alcohol, and substance use and abuse
  • Lying or theft
  • Precocious sexual activity
  • Truancy or other serious violations of rules

Those with CD or ODD also may experience:
  • Academic difficulties
  • Difficulty staying in adoptive, foster, or group homes
  • Higher rates of depression, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, and suicide
  • Higher rates of injuries, school expulsions, and problems with the law
  • Poor relationships with peers or adults
  • Sexually transmitted diseases

How common is conduct disorder?

Conduct disorder affects 1 to 4 percent of 9- to 17-year-olds, depending on exactly how the disorder is defined (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services). The disorder appears to be more common in boys than in girls and more common in cities than in rural areas.

Who is at risk for conduct disorder?

Research shows that some cases of CD begin in early childhood, often by the preschool years. In fact, some infants who are especially "fussy" appear to be at risk for developing CD.  

Other factors that may make a youngster more likely to develop CD include:
  • Abuse or violence
  • Crowding
  • Early institutionalization
  • Early maternal rejection
  • Family neglect
  • Large family size
  • Parental marital discord
  • Parental mental illness
  • Poverty
  • Separation from parents, without an adequate alternative caregiver

What help is available for families?

Although CD is one of the most difficult behavior disorders to treat, young people often benefit from a range of services that include:
  • Community-based services that focus on the young person within the context of family and community influence
  • Family therapy
  • Training for parents on how to handle problematic behavior
  • Training in problem-solving skills for kids and teens on the autism spectrum


Some child and teenager behaviors are hard to change after they have become ingrained. Therefore, the earlier the CD is identified and treated, the better the chance for success. Most High-Functioning Autistic and Asperger's children/teens with CD are probably reacting to events and situations in their lives. Some recent studies have focused on promising ways to prevent CD among "at-risk" kids on the autism spectrum. In addition, more research is needed to determine if biology is a factor in CD.

Parents or other caregivers who notice signs of CD or ODD in a youngster or teenager should:
  • Find family network organizations.
  • Get accurate information from libraries, hotlines, or other sources.
  • If necessary, talk with a mental health or social services professional, such as a teacher, counselor, psychiatrist, or psychologist specializing in childhood and teenager disorders.
  • Pay careful attention to the signs, try to understand the underlying reasons, and then try to improve the situation.
  • Talk to other families in their communities.

People who are not satisfied with the mental health services they receive should discuss their concerns with their provider, ask for more information, and/or seek help from other sources.


4 Crucial Mistakes in Dealing with Oppositional Behavior:



How to Identify Conduct Disorder in Your High-Functioning Autistic or Asperger's Child—

Step 1—Learn about the risk factors for developing CD (e.g., having a parent with a mood disorder, ADHD, substance abuse disorder, or CD). A history of abuse or neglect, exposure to violence, inconsistent or excessively harsh discipline, poverty, and overcrowded living conditions are other risk factors for CD.

Step 2—Take note of any aggressive behavior (e.g., bullying, threatening, or intimidating others). Autistic kids with CD often initiate both verbal and physical fights, and have a history of violence and cruelty toward people and animals. More serious signs of aggressive behavior include the use of weapons and a history of sexual assault.

Step 3—Consider whether prior destructive acts were intentional or unintentional. While all kids have the potential to damage property due to carelessness or reckless play, kids with CD deliberately cause damage to the property of others.

Step 4—Watch carefully for other signs of CD (e.g., lying, theft, truancy, substance abuse, serious rule violations, and precocious sexual activity). High-Functioning Autistic and Asperger's kids with this disorder may also experience symptoms of depression, have poor relationships with family members and peers, and experience significant academic difficulties.

Step 5—Speak with your youngster’s teacher to get her opinion, and discuss your youngster’s symptoms with a mental health professional who specializes in disorders of childhood. Read all you can about the symptoms of CD so that you are better able to identify the symptoms in your youngster.


==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD


COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said… 13 yr old with aspergers and adhd
•    Anonymous said… Having answers doesnt change your little fellows . He is the se boy . Find all the good traites to his syndrome and concentrate on intervention. I have a beautiful 8 yrs old boy and the stress i felt has lessoned as i can now get help . All the best.
•    Anonymous said… I feel your pain we have a 10 year old adopted daughter that we are lost with
•    Anonymous said… I'm there with you--my 10 year old son-who isn't CD but ADHD- is like a light switch--just a flip of the switch and he's like a different child--angry, 'mouthy', etc. But, like the light switch, can switch right back and be the calm, pleasant boy we know.
•    Anonymous said… It is a difficult road, but it will get better.
•    Anonymous said… It really does get better. Really, it does. I met my stepson 4 years ago and he has come such a long way. I went from having to pretty much follow him everywhere he went to make sure he was safe and not running away to now he can walk to school with the other kids. We still have our moments but they are so much easier to deal with. Consistancy is the key!
•    Anonymous said… Maturity does wonders, but we wouldn't have survived and made it in public school, until he was a junior, without medication. We treated the anxiety of Aspergers and later dealt with the ADD for school goals. He is a white food eater so any food approaches were not available to us. Early on we had many incidences of out of control emotion and frustration....Prozac and Abilify finally stabilized our son. Home school allowed us to remove the ADD meds...he works cooperatively at his pace. He is now 17....and has grown out of his control issues and reactive behavior.
•    Anonymous said… My 13 year old has Asperger's and ADHD, diagnosed when he was 10. Best advice I can give is keep a consistent schedule. Post checklists and schedules everywhere to keep everyone accountable. Limit computer/TV/game system time. We are also in weekly therapy for assistance with coping with anxiety, social groups, and on medication for the anxiety and ADHD, both at very low doses.
•    Anonymous said… My 7 year old daughter has just diagnoised with Adhd and aspergers. It is not easy we are still learning at this stage it is a hard journey and I am sure it is just the start. X
•    Anonymous said… My 8 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD at 5 years of age and has had a diagnosis of HFA. After working with Autism for 30 years. His diagnosis was no surprise. Unfortunately there is not a lot of support for our HFA kids. How ever sites like this makes you realise your not on your own. And you can pick up lots of information from parents in the same boat.
•    Anonymous said… My daughter turned 17 in sept, i also found out finally that she has ASD aswel xx we have our ups an downs, but I wouldn't changer her x
•    Anonymous said… My son 15 has exactly same condition. It's been few ups and down, but he is doing very well now. He is in mainstream high school. Message me in here, if you like to chat. It's helps to talk about it. We've been there. This journey will continue forever, however, not all bad
•    Anonymous said… My son has adhd asd language prossesing disorder.spd age 11
•    Anonymous said… My son has been dignosed with a regulatory disorder it where he acts out 7 different disorders which are aspergers adhd add and autism and sensory and other ones but the one he shows the most is aspergers and autism if anybody out there has any tips to get them to listen to you when needed I have tryed many different ways to get him to listen to me
•    Anonymous said… My son is 16. Undiagnosed as yet . Takes forever in UK. He probably has Asperger's. Is very bright. Model pupil at school. At home very uncommunicative. Doesn't eat with the family. Anything that upsets him leads to a retaliation. He has cut electric leads to my radio, thrown my clothes round my room, broken raw eggs including shells into cooked pasta, thrown an egg against granite splash back, poured a bottle of cooking oil down the sink. This morning went down to find he had thrown uncooked mince into the sink and broken off wooden trim in my kitchen. I have sought help by speaking to CAMHS , the mental health dept for kids, but he has refused to go to appointments and when someone came to the house he kicked off when they left. We are quite religious but never ask him to join us in prayer. We call him for meals and I try and make food he likes or stock up on pizza, quiche , cheese pasties....whatever. The trigger yesterday was that I forgot to get quiche. I have been told to talk to him that he has to learn to control his emotions. We all feel upset must learn not to act out our frustrations. My added problem is that my 2 year old has been diagnosed with a very rare muscle condition and needs a great deal of care equivalent to a baby of 6 months. I have 2 other kids aged 14 and 9 who are being squeezed out because of the needs of their siblings. So I try and make special time for them. Communication is the main problem with my eldest.
•    Anonymous said… My son is almost 12 so I've been there. It does get better. We used medication for about 2 years to help him clearly think. We used concerts because it had the least side effects and is out of the system in 12 hours. When we decided to homeschool we stopped the meds and started using essential oils. It is very important to have the same or close to the same routine every day. Don't surprise him with something last minute or it will cause a meltdown. We also did family therapy for a while to help him realize getting so angry was his choice not something we were doing to him. He still has some ego issues and if he feels he is right there is no telling him he is wrong. He totally compares with Sheldon off the big band theory. It does get better just keep you're head up and make sure you let him know when something isn't exceptable.
•    Anonymous said… Need more details! Do you mean following your instructions and directions? Or acknowledging your voice when you are simply trying to gain his focus? What does he do in those situations and what have you tried? Then I can share my insight with you, would love to help. Ty
•    Anonymous said… Pathological demand avoidance , conduct disorder call it what you want .... Life is miserable and tense!
•    Anonymous said… Same. My son is 7, but I hope he doesn't get conduct disorder. He's got some pretty serious angry outbursts.
•    Anonymous said… There is a clear link between aspergers, add, and odd and allergies Still trying to work out what it is
•    Anonymous said… Yes 2 out of 3 of my sons have autism. My 12 yr old has autism, he is verbal and high function. My 11 yr old has Aspergers and ADHD. It also is a daily struggle, but it has been a long road to get to this point. They do talk therapy , IEP'S and medications for anxiety, depression, hyperactivity and inattention. Overall with these interventions, love and support they are progressing daily...but it can be a daily struggle. Feel free to private message me if you would like any advice. Best wishes
•    Anonymous said… I am looking in to the option of homeschooling but many disagree.
•    Anonymous said… I often wonder if there aren’t so many more undiagnosed kids out there judging by the amount of children who are disruptive in certain ways & who also show signs of Aspergers.
•    Anonymous said… It depends. Everyone’s different, but my son works best one on one, full attention... work done on computer / tablet He so smart and knows it, but anxiety issues don’t let him get it all out until comfortable . Of course include times of socialization, time with peers( if you can) my son likes his alone time mostly. Advocate helped.
•    Anonymous said… My son 16 yr ASD ADHD + ODD. Always remember that your child is a complicated combination. Every specialist letter about our son starts with "Ben is a very complex boy..................". When attending therapies or looking for strategies to help your child remember, to consider each condition has an influence on your childs behaviour. Over all what we find with our boy is that the ASD (aspergers) makes him anxious, timid, routine driven and socially awkward at times. The ADHD overides this sometimes, he can be forward, busy, loud and in your face. The ODD makes him reluctant and suspicious to follow instructions blindly, he questions everything and clashes with peers and teachers. But all together he is funny, loving, smart, friendly, helpful, great with younger kids, I could go on and on. But as I said my advice is always keep in mind his multiple conditions because what works for one doesnt work for the other, you have to become a detective and work out what suits your child in particular.
•    Anonymous said… My son had a late diagnosis finally,after all the years of stress, problems at school,ect( too much to list) at12 yrs old. He is 14 now. We still have our days,he’s going into HS but home schooling works best. Getting an advocate was on of the best things we did. And having his 504 plan and IEP /ARD in order is key!!
•    Anonymous said… Not specifically, but I have a child diagnosed with ADHD and ODD (as well as a few other things) and is suspected of being on the spectrum, but they're not comfortable diagnosing, yet. I also have an Aspie who can be rather aggressive and mean and when he was 12, I had to give him more freedom through the day in order to have a calmer, more agreeable child in the home. What helped the first child (ADHD, ODD) was dietary changes. I took her to an integrative medicine doctor and got a full work up, as we'd been told for years that she had no allergies, etc, and I just couldn't believe she would behave those ways unless something was going on in her body. I was correct and we had to put her on a special diet. It's like night and day. She's so much gentler and kinder and cooperative now. Less hostile, less anxious (we also found out she has an anxiety problem, which the dietary changes also helped). Interestingly enough, my Aspie also has dietary issues. They both have bodies that find it hard to detox on a standard American diet, no matter how healthy it is. They need to mostly eat foods in their natural states or as close to it as possible. Ms. ADHD has confirmed methylation issues (possibly MTHFR mutation, but we haven't tested for that, yet...the integrative medicine doctor tested for methylation pathway blockages without needing to do a genetic test). I truly believe that behavioral issues in children are directly related to a biological cause, if we find it. I don't mean simply a different neurological type, but an actual biological cause (usually in the gut, check out info on the gut-brain connection). I hope something I shared helps. Good luck!
•    Anonymous said… One of our biggest struggles is the uneducated people who assume and judge, it’s sad. But my close family members rule!!!!!
•    Anonymous said… What I really want to say is, when my son doesn’t want to go, Cries, gets sick, has anxiety... goes to Nurse, misses class, teachers are not on board ..calls to come get him and it happens all the time. It’s What’s best.. homeschool.
•    Anonymous said… Yes, our son has both. The high functioning ASD proves to be more of a challenge to manage than ADHD. The only advice we have is that both parents doing the same things in terms of management & working together. We find one parent dealing with a problem/meltdown works-not both parents. We take it in turns so we give each other a break. We just take each day as it comes-cos we never know when our son may need extra support. We did buy ear defenders which have worked well for him. Look after yourselves too. And don't beat yourselves up if you get it wrong now & again-this is a constant learning curve & every child is different. Good Luck, but bet you're already doing great xx
•    Anonymous said… Yes. With those same challenges. Private violin lessons , art and Planned one on one with a friend. Also , school counseling, OT, He still has social challenges.  

Post your comment below…

Social Skills Training for Children with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

This post will provide some crucial guidelines for how parents and educators can teach social skills to children with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) at home and in the classroom.

These “special needs” children often have difficulty saying what they mean, planning and controlling what they do, noticing and interpreting facial expression and body language, understanding what someone has told them, and accurately perceiving what other people do, say, or demonstrate.

Fortunately, they have a patient and supportive adult like you. The ideas presented below will show you how to support them as they struggle to show the new behavior, and how to focus on progress rather than perfection.



Social skills are those self-management, problem-solving, peer-relations, decision making, and communication abilities that allow the AS or HFA youngster to initiate and maintain positive social relationships with others. Deficits in social behavior interfere with learning, teaching, and the classroom atmosphere. Social competence is linked to peer-acceptance, teacher-acceptance, inclusion success, and post-school success.

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

Displaying poor social skills is THE #1 factor involved in the “odd” behavior that gets AS and HFA children rejected and bullied by peers. Young people on the autism spectrum often fail socially because they have difficulty monitoring and controlling their behavior when unexpected situations occur. They may misread social cues given off by others. They may view the positive social interactions of others as threatening. And they may not even notice when a peer rejects, teases, or bullies them.


Why AS and HFA Is Largely a Disorder of Social Skills



Depending on the child’s specific needs, a good “social skills training” program can include any of the following:
  • ability to respond to a given environment in a manner that produces, maintains, and enhances positive interpersonal relations
  • acceptable ways to resolve conflict with others 
  • accepting the consequences of one's behavior
  • approaching others in socially acceptable ways
  • appropriate classroom behavior
  • asking for permission rather than acting
  • attending to task
  • awareness of own and other's feelings
  • being able to predict how others might feel in a situation and understanding that others might not feel as you do
  • better ways to handle frustration and anger 
  • coping with negative feelings
  • counting to 10 before reacting
  • dealing with stress
  • distracting oneself to a pleasurable task
  • following directions
  • handling teasing and taunting
  • how to make and keep friends 
  • learning an internal dialog to cool oneself down and reflect upon the best course of action
  • listening
  • manners and positive interaction with others 
  • positive, non-aggressive choices when faced with conflict
  • seeking attention properly
  • seeking the assistance of the teacher or conflict resolution team
  • sharing toys and materials
  • using words instead of physical contact
  • what to do when you make mistakes
  • work habits and academic survival skills

How to Teach Social Skills to AS and HFA Children—

You will do well to teach social skills just like you teach academics. Assess the level of the AS or HFA child, prepare the materials, introduce the material, model it, have him or her practice it, and provide feedback. If you purchase a social skills curriculum, simply follow the directions in the kit (it should include an assessment device, lessons, and activities). If you're developing your own curriculum and devising lessons, follow the tips below.

How to teach social skills to one specific child:

1. By way of an assessment, select the AS or HFA child who needs training in certain skills.

2. Task analyze the target behavior(s). Task analysis will help to teach complex behaviors by breaking down a task into smaller objectives. Applicable replacement behaviors are usually taught when the student displays inappropriate behavior in specific environments. AS and HFA students respond well in learning new goal behaviors when they're broken down into individual steps.

3. Determine what behavior to modify or replace by observing the AS or HFA student in a variety of situations. Expose the child to a variety of environments to reveal where the behavior occurs most frequently and why he or she feels the need to engage in negative behaviors in that situation. Examples of target behaviors may include:
  • accepting "no" for an answer
  • accepting praise from others
  • accepting responsibility for one's own behavior
  • accepting the consequences administered by the teacher
  • apologizing for wrong doing
  • asking permission
  • asking questions appropriately
  • avoiding fighting with others
  • complimenting others
  • compromising on issues
  • cooperating with peers
  • coping with aggression from other
  • coping with taunts
  • coping with verbal or physical threats
  • dealing better with anger
  • dealing with frustration
  • dealing with losing
  • following directions
  • greeting others 
  • initiating a conversation with others
  • interrupting others appropriately
  • joining a group activity already in progress
  • listening
  • making a mistake in an appropriate manner without yelling or physical aggression
  • making friends
  • respecting the opinions of others
  • saying please and thank you
  • seeking attention in an appropriate manner
  • showing sportsmanship
  • understanding the feelings of others and accepting them as valid
  • waiting one's turn


4. Speak directly with the child to get a better idea of what is important in his or her life and why the behavior is occurring. This can give a lot of insight as to what the child is trying to communicate by using negative behaviors.

5. Determine an appropriate replacement behavior and decide when it should apply. Make clear the focus and purpose of the positive behavior. The behavior should promote acceptable choices in the classroom.

6. Break the appropriate behavior or task down into small and clear objectives. This encourages quicker success instead of teaching the entire task at once. Move on to the next task as the child masters each one.

7. Determine where, and under what conditions, the child should practice the behavior. Specify the expected amount of change before moving on to the next objective. Make sure each objective is measurable.

8. Discuss and model the replacement behavior with the child. Practice the appropriate behavior or smaller objectives of the behavior in the appropriate environment.

9. Use positive reinforcements. AS and HFA students who are learning to apply appropriate behaviors may display the action more frequently if they receive a tangible reward each time they behave appropriately.

Teaching social skills to a group of students:

1. Create groups of 3-5 youngsters with similar skill deficits (smaller groups give the participants a chance to observe others, practice with peers, and receive feedback).

2. Try to meet early in the day so that the participants are attentive and have the whole day to practice what they learn in the lesson.

3. Introduce the program to the participants, and describe why and how it will benefit them.

4. Identify the behaviors that you will reward during lessons (e.g., raising hands when wanting to ask a question, one child speaks at a time, paying attention, etc.). These selected behaviors will need to be taught in the initial lesson.

5. Teach the easy-to-learn skills first to ensure success and reinforcement.

6. Teach to the higher-functioning children in the group first. Have them demonstrate the new behaviors, and then reward them. Have the lower-functioning children demonstrate the behaviors after the leaders do so.

7. Have the child self-monitor and self-assess in order to build internal motivation and control.

8. Have the participants practice through homework assignments, review sessions, and assignments to real life settings.

9. Make sure your lessons are interesting and fun so that the participants look forward to the lessons.

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

10. Monitor the child’s behavior outside of the lessons. Keep track of the behavior for IEP documentation.

11. Promote generalization to different settings and circumstances by (a) having the child submit self-report forms for each class period, (b) meeting with the child to discuss performance throughout school or home life, (c) practicing in different settings and under various conditions, and (d) prompting and coaching the child in naturally occurring situations.

12. Recognize and reward proper behavior in everyday school situations.

13. When you see a good situation for a child to display a "new" behavior, prompt its use with cues or hints.

As a side note, remember that AS and HFA children generally display negative behaviors to communicate thoughts or feelings – not because they are purposely trying to be defiant. Also, as with the teaching of academics, begin with the prerequisite skills and then move on to the more advanced ones. Your social skills training program should be comprised of the skills that are most important to classroom etiquette and the AS or HFA child’s social needs.

Lastly, understand that while the teaching of social skills may consume a lot of time during the school day, over the weeks and months ahead, you will likely gain back lost time as the “special needs” child displays more acceptable behavior.

==> More crucial parenting techniques to teach social skills to kids on the spectrum can be found here...


More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Examples of Schedules for Kids with ASD Level 1

Question

I have a 5 yr old son who has been diagnosed with high functioning autism and i need help on making a daily schedule or routine that will help us both. i am at a loss. can anyone help me, please. i would love examples of schedules.

Answer

A daily schedule benefits ASD or High-Functioning Autistic (HFA) children by providing the structured environment that is critical to their sense of security and mastery. If you spend any time in a kindergarten or elementary school, you will marvel at the teacher's ability to organize the kids' day.

When you understand the nature of attachment in older kids on the autism spectrum, you realize that shared communication and goals replace the attachment patterns of younger ones. The daily schedule communicates the family's shared goals and allows kids to contribute to their accomplishment. Each time the child follows the schedule, he has a small, but cumulative experience of mastery of his environment.



Follow these simple steps to create a daily schedule for your family:

Step 1 - Analyze Your Day—

Do a simple, but consistent time study. The easiest way to do this is to print a daily calendar. Note what each family member is doing at each time of the day. Look for the problem times, and think about how the schedule can be structured to eliminate problems related to behavior, stress, fatigue, hunger, and disorganization.

Step 2 - Brainstorm What You Want—

Less confusion in the morning, homework done by dinner, kids in bed by a certain hour, family play time, relaxation, a clean house - this is the time to think about what you want in your family life. Focus on a balance of activity and rest for your family. Take an honest look at both parents' and kids' needs.

Step 3 - Write It Down—

Get a poster board and a marker, and write it down for all to see. Post it in the kitchen, and tell your Asperger's or HFA youngster that you will now be following it. You're likely to get some opposition, so you'll need to stand firm.

==> Preventing Meltdowns and Tantrums in Asperger's and HFA Children

Step 4 - Follow the Schedule for a Week—

Check the schedule often, and let it guide your days for at least one week. Instruct the kids to check the schedule and follow it. If you must remind them, do so. But, your goal is for the kids to learn to take responsibility for their part of the schedule.

Step 5 - Tweak the Schedule—

After the first week, take a look at what is working and how the schedule needs changing. Make changes in the schedule, and write it on a new poster. Continue to follow your daily family schedule until it is second nature. In a few weeks, you'll marvel at how this simple tool has changed your family life for the better.

Here is just one of many examples of schedules for children on the spectrum:

EARLY MORNING SCHEDULE—

7:30 - 8:15 a.m. - Jacob and mom prepare for breakfast.

8:15 - 8:45 a.m. - Breakfast and clean-up: As Jacob finishes breakfast, he reads books or listens to music until free play begins.

MORNING SCHEDULE—

8:45 - 9:00 a.m. – Sharing time: Conversation and sharing time; music, movement, or rhythms; finger-plays.

9:00 - 10:00 a.m. - Free play: Jacob selects from one of the interest areas: art, blocks, library corner, table toys, house corner, sand and water.

10:00 - 10:15 a.m. - Clean-up: Jacob puts away toys and materials; as he finishes, he selects a book to read.

10:15 - 10:30 a.m. - Story time (the length of story time should vary with the age of your youngster).

10:30 - 10:50 a.m. - Snack and preparation to go outdoors.

10:50 - 11:45 a.m. - Outdoor play: Jacob selects from climbing activities, wheel toys, balls, hoops, sand and water play, woodworking, gardening, and child-initiated games.

11:45 - 12:00 noon - Quiet time: Jacob selects a book or listen to tapes.

LUNCH AND REST—

12:00 - 12:45 p.m. - Prepare for lunch, eat lunch, clean up: As Jacob finishes lunch, he goes to the bathroom and then read books on his bed in preparation for nap time.

12:45 - 1:00 p.m. - Quiet activity prior to nap: Story, song by parent, quiet music, or story record.

1:00 - 3:00 p.m. - Nap time: As Jacob awakens, he reads books or plays quiet games such as puzzles or lotto on their cots (kids who do not sleep or who awaken early are taken into another room for free play with books, table toys, and other quiet activities).

AFTERNOON SCHEDULE--

3:00 - 3:30 p.m. - Snack and preparation to go outdoors.

3:30 - 4:30 p.m. - Outdoor play: Jacob selects from climbing activities, wheel toys, balls, hoops, sand and water play, woodworking, gardening, and youngster-initiated games.

4:30 - 5:15 p.m. - Free play: Jacob selects from art (activity requiring minimal clean-up time), blocks, house corner, library corner, and table toys.

5:15 - 6:00 p.m. - Clean-up: After snack, mom plans quiet activities such as table toys; songs, finger-plays, or music; stories; and coloring (older kids might help you prepare materials for the next day).

Schedules are particularly helpful in cases where the Asperger's or HFA child is exhibiting oppositional behavior (see video below).





 
Comments:

•    Anonymous said... If he attends school, this will be part of his routine.. Wake up same time in the morning, put clothes on, eat breakfast, brush teeth, comb hair, go to school. After school, you need to get him in an activity so he can be around other kids his age in a "Social" enviroment examples: Gymnastics, T-Ball, Soccer.. When he gets home get a snack, do homework, "playtime" or "Practice", dinner, bath, bedtime.. Life is busy and most can't stay on a such schedules, but let him know several times the day before what activities y'all have for the next day.. Remind in the morning, after school, before bed.. Also remind him of the activites y'all have planned that day, even if it it's going to the store... It is best to try to slowly change his routine without him knowing so he can get used to change.... but start off with a certain schedule.. Good Luck.. My son was diagnosed 2 years ago when he was 10 he is now 12 and theses are things I did for him without knowing he had asbergers.. Today you wouldn't know he had it because he is very social... Get play dates, get him in to sports even if doesn't want to, push him, push push him, becaus the end result is worth it...

•    Anonymous said... Good ideas!! Yes, routine routine routine. Also make sure that if there's a major change try to let him know ahead of time. In a perfect world we can predict changes but obviously that doesn't happen, particularly in school. Have safety nets (people) set up in place so that if a sudden, unexpected change happens and a meltdown occurs that he has support to help him through it. The more you can tell teachers and staff members at school about his needs, his "triggers" the better off he is. After awhile it gets to be second hand nature for everyone, and it does get better!!
 
•    Anonymous said... I break the schedule down into parts and put the visual schedules up near the areas where he needs to complete the tasks. Ex. the "get out of the house" schedule to go to school is by the door; the bathroom bedtime routine is in the bathroom. This gives the visual schedules a context. You can try googling it for some ideas too on what they can look like. I modeled mine after the ones that are in my son's schools. Weekends were the hardest for us until we sat down at the breakfast table that morning and made a visual schedule for that day as well. So long as we keep to the routine, we do far better. I've heard that there are also some apps to help with this, though I have not explored them yet. I find that when we have this structure, he is also a bit more adaptive if we need to make a slight change. Good luck.
 
•    Anonymous said... give him a lot of small chores to help you and often say after we do this then you can do that. Give him pockrts of free time, ask nim how he wants to use it.Use a list for yourself but not for him. he will get the list in his brain in a short time. Thru the day 3-5 times say we only have 8 or 10 or 12 things left to do possibly the momentum of the number lowering will trigger him to offer assistance or cooperation try to schedule music video games and tv time and steer these away from overstimulating pumping excess choices to nature or animal stuff.
 
•    Anonymous said... Mine is a bit different than Kim Cohen's, but still very very visual.... One way I know is to put a laminated sign by his breakfast spot that shows him combing hair and brushing teeth in the bathroom. Then in the bathroom another sign shows him in his room getting clothes on. Then in his room it shows him grabbing his backpack and coat and setting it by the door. Our key to success is NO downtime in the am. If he gets started playing and then has to stop to head to school - it's no good. If he's "off track" you can prompt him by asking him what he should be doing right now rather than telling him. Always put it on him so he learns it's HIS responsibility. In the PM, you can make your routine more time oriented. 3-315 snack. 3:15 to 3:30 computer time. 3:30 - 4:00 free choice or quiet reading. Etc, Etc. Good luck!!!
 
•    Anonymous said... First, dear Mother of your As kiddo. Don't forget to breathe. My daughter changes drastically when there is ANY transition that deviates from her normal day to day routines. I agree with the parents comments above. Posting "to do" lists is good. I let my daughter decide what order to do her morning before school things on a numbered list. I find that even in school, this helps her fourth grade teacher see that visual cues help. Mostly, touching my daughter physically, on her elbow seem to be her most responsive spot, and asking, "can I ask you something?" instead of giving commands from across the room works great so I don't escalate in frustration as she really is not capable at times to "hear me". Also, LOTS of activities that allow rocking, swinging, being "squished" by pillows or rolled up tight in a favorite blanket...having time to decompress with their fave activity right after school. Allowing them to pick friends when they are ready but encourage them by becoming acquainted with Moms and other kiddos who your child "clicks" well with. Best of my prayers and compassion. Please feel free to send me a private message anytime.
 
•    Anonymous said... The picture check list in each room is what I use with my seven yr old and it seems to work really well with him ex. In the bathroom his check list is get a bath, brush teeth, and put dirty clothes in hamper and I let him mark off his progress as he completes them. He seems to like marking off the tasks as he completes them I think it gives him a sense of accomplishment. I use the my magnetic responsibility chart made my Melissa & Doug it has been a Hugh help for both Him and me. :)

Post your comment below…

2024 Statistics of Autism in Chinese Children

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) has emerged as a significant public health concern worldwide, and China is no exception. As of 2024, new rese...