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Social Skills Training for Children with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

This post will provide some crucial guidelines for how parents and educators can teach social skills to children with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) at home and in the classroom.

These “special needs” children often have difficulty saying what they mean, planning and controlling what they do, noticing and interpreting facial expression and body language, understanding what someone has told them, and accurately perceiving what other people do, say, or demonstrate.

Fortunately, they have a patient and supportive adult like you. The ideas presented below will show you how to support them as they struggle to show the new behavior, and how to focus on progress rather than perfection.



Social skills are those self-management, problem-solving, peer-relations, decision making, and communication abilities that allow the AS or HFA youngster to initiate and maintain positive social relationships with others. Deficits in social behavior interfere with learning, teaching, and the classroom atmosphere. Social competence is linked to peer-acceptance, teacher-acceptance, inclusion success, and post-school success.

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

Displaying poor social skills is THE #1 factor involved in the “odd” behavior that gets AS and HFA children rejected and bullied by peers. Young people on the autism spectrum often fail socially because they have difficulty monitoring and controlling their behavior when unexpected situations occur. They may misread social cues given off by others. They may view the positive social interactions of others as threatening. And they may not even notice when a peer rejects, teases, or bullies them.


Why AS and HFA Is Largely a Disorder of Social Skills



Depending on the child’s specific needs, a good “social skills training” program can include any of the following:
  • ability to respond to a given environment in a manner that produces, maintains, and enhances positive interpersonal relations
  • acceptable ways to resolve conflict with others 
  • accepting the consequences of one's behavior
  • approaching others in socially acceptable ways
  • appropriate classroom behavior
  • asking for permission rather than acting
  • attending to task
  • awareness of own and other's feelings
  • being able to predict how others might feel in a situation and understanding that others might not feel as you do
  • better ways to handle frustration and anger 
  • coping with negative feelings
  • counting to 10 before reacting
  • dealing with stress
  • distracting oneself to a pleasurable task
  • following directions
  • handling teasing and taunting
  • how to make and keep friends 
  • learning an internal dialog to cool oneself down and reflect upon the best course of action
  • listening
  • manners and positive interaction with others 
  • positive, non-aggressive choices when faced with conflict
  • seeking attention properly
  • seeking the assistance of the teacher or conflict resolution team
  • sharing toys and materials
  • using words instead of physical contact
  • what to do when you make mistakes
  • work habits and academic survival skills

How to Teach Social Skills to AS and HFA Children—

You will do well to teach social skills just like you teach academics. Assess the level of the AS or HFA child, prepare the materials, introduce the material, model it, have him or her practice it, and provide feedback. If you purchase a social skills curriculum, simply follow the directions in the kit (it should include an assessment device, lessons, and activities). If you're developing your own curriculum and devising lessons, follow the tips below.

How to teach social skills to one specific child:

1. By way of an assessment, select the AS or HFA child who needs training in certain skills.

2. Task analyze the target behavior(s). Task analysis will help to teach complex behaviors by breaking down a task into smaller objectives. Applicable replacement behaviors are usually taught when the student displays inappropriate behavior in specific environments. AS and HFA students respond well in learning new goal behaviors when they're broken down into individual steps.

3. Determine what behavior to modify or replace by observing the AS or HFA student in a variety of situations. Expose the child to a variety of environments to reveal where the behavior occurs most frequently and why he or she feels the need to engage in negative behaviors in that situation. Examples of target behaviors may include:
  • accepting "no" for an answer
  • accepting praise from others
  • accepting responsibility for one's own behavior
  • accepting the consequences administered by the teacher
  • apologizing for wrong doing
  • asking permission
  • asking questions appropriately
  • avoiding fighting with others
  • complimenting others
  • compromising on issues
  • cooperating with peers
  • coping with aggression from other
  • coping with taunts
  • coping with verbal or physical threats
  • dealing better with anger
  • dealing with frustration
  • dealing with losing
  • following directions
  • greeting others 
  • initiating a conversation with others
  • interrupting others appropriately
  • joining a group activity already in progress
  • listening
  • making a mistake in an appropriate manner without yelling or physical aggression
  • making friends
  • respecting the opinions of others
  • saying please and thank you
  • seeking attention in an appropriate manner
  • showing sportsmanship
  • understanding the feelings of others and accepting them as valid
  • waiting one's turn


4. Speak directly with the child to get a better idea of what is important in his or her life and why the behavior is occurring. This can give a lot of insight as to what the child is trying to communicate by using negative behaviors.

5. Determine an appropriate replacement behavior and decide when it should apply. Make clear the focus and purpose of the positive behavior. The behavior should promote acceptable choices in the classroom.

6. Break the appropriate behavior or task down into small and clear objectives. This encourages quicker success instead of teaching the entire task at once. Move on to the next task as the child masters each one.

7. Determine where, and under what conditions, the child should practice the behavior. Specify the expected amount of change before moving on to the next objective. Make sure each objective is measurable.

8. Discuss and model the replacement behavior with the child. Practice the appropriate behavior or smaller objectives of the behavior in the appropriate environment.

9. Use positive reinforcements. AS and HFA students who are learning to apply appropriate behaviors may display the action more frequently if they receive a tangible reward each time they behave appropriately.

Teaching social skills to a group of students:

1. Create groups of 3-5 youngsters with similar skill deficits (smaller groups give the participants a chance to observe others, practice with peers, and receive feedback).

2. Try to meet early in the day so that the participants are attentive and have the whole day to practice what they learn in the lesson.

3. Introduce the program to the participants, and describe why and how it will benefit them.

4. Identify the behaviors that you will reward during lessons (e.g., raising hands when wanting to ask a question, one child speaks at a time, paying attention, etc.). These selected behaviors will need to be taught in the initial lesson.

5. Teach the easy-to-learn skills first to ensure success and reinforcement.

6. Teach to the higher-functioning children in the group first. Have them demonstrate the new behaviors, and then reward them. Have the lower-functioning children demonstrate the behaviors after the leaders do so.

7. Have the child self-monitor and self-assess in order to build internal motivation and control.

8. Have the participants practice through homework assignments, review sessions, and assignments to real life settings.

9. Make sure your lessons are interesting and fun so that the participants look forward to the lessons.

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

10. Monitor the child’s behavior outside of the lessons. Keep track of the behavior for IEP documentation.

11. Promote generalization to different settings and circumstances by (a) having the child submit self-report forms for each class period, (b) meeting with the child to discuss performance throughout school or home life, (c) practicing in different settings and under various conditions, and (d) prompting and coaching the child in naturally occurring situations.

12. Recognize and reward proper behavior in everyday school situations.

13. When you see a good situation for a child to display a "new" behavior, prompt its use with cues or hints.

As a side note, remember that AS and HFA children generally display negative behaviors to communicate thoughts or feelings – not because they are purposely trying to be defiant. Also, as with the teaching of academics, begin with the prerequisite skills and then move on to the more advanced ones. Your social skills training program should be comprised of the skills that are most important to classroom etiquette and the AS or HFA child’s social needs.

Lastly, understand that while the teaching of social skills may consume a lot of time during the school day, over the weeks and months ahead, you will likely gain back lost time as the “special needs” child displays more acceptable behavior.

==> More crucial parenting techniques to teach social skills to kids on the spectrum can be found here...


More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Examples of Schedules for Kids with ASD Level 1

Question

I have a 5 yr old son who has been diagnosed with high functioning autism and i need help on making a daily schedule or routine that will help us both. i am at a loss. can anyone help me, please. i would love examples of schedules.

Answer

A daily schedule benefits ASD or High-Functioning Autistic (HFA) children by providing the structured environment that is critical to their sense of security and mastery. If you spend any time in a kindergarten or elementary school, you will marvel at the teacher's ability to organize the kids' day.

When you understand the nature of attachment in older kids on the autism spectrum, you realize that shared communication and goals replace the attachment patterns of younger ones. The daily schedule communicates the family's shared goals and allows kids to contribute to their accomplishment. Each time the child follows the schedule, he has a small, but cumulative experience of mastery of his environment.



Follow these simple steps to create a daily schedule for your family:

Step 1 - Analyze Your Day—

Do a simple, but consistent time study. The easiest way to do this is to print a daily calendar. Note what each family member is doing at each time of the day. Look for the problem times, and think about how the schedule can be structured to eliminate problems related to behavior, stress, fatigue, hunger, and disorganization.

Step 2 - Brainstorm What You Want—

Less confusion in the morning, homework done by dinner, kids in bed by a certain hour, family play time, relaxation, a clean house - this is the time to think about what you want in your family life. Focus on a balance of activity and rest for your family. Take an honest look at both parents' and kids' needs.

Step 3 - Write It Down—

Get a poster board and a marker, and write it down for all to see. Post it in the kitchen, and tell your Asperger's or HFA youngster that you will now be following it. You're likely to get some opposition, so you'll need to stand firm.

==> Preventing Meltdowns and Tantrums in Asperger's and HFA Children

Step 4 - Follow the Schedule for a Week—

Check the schedule often, and let it guide your days for at least one week. Instruct the kids to check the schedule and follow it. If you must remind them, do so. But, your goal is for the kids to learn to take responsibility for their part of the schedule.

Step 5 - Tweak the Schedule—

After the first week, take a look at what is working and how the schedule needs changing. Make changes in the schedule, and write it on a new poster. Continue to follow your daily family schedule until it is second nature. In a few weeks, you'll marvel at how this simple tool has changed your family life for the better.

Here is just one of many examples of schedules for children on the spectrum:

EARLY MORNING SCHEDULE—

7:30 - 8:15 a.m. - Jacob and mom prepare for breakfast.

8:15 - 8:45 a.m. - Breakfast and clean-up: As Jacob finishes breakfast, he reads books or listens to music until free play begins.

MORNING SCHEDULE—

8:45 - 9:00 a.m. – Sharing time: Conversation and sharing time; music, movement, or rhythms; finger-plays.

9:00 - 10:00 a.m. - Free play: Jacob selects from one of the interest areas: art, blocks, library corner, table toys, house corner, sand and water.

10:00 - 10:15 a.m. - Clean-up: Jacob puts away toys and materials; as he finishes, he selects a book to read.

10:15 - 10:30 a.m. - Story time (the length of story time should vary with the age of your youngster).

10:30 - 10:50 a.m. - Snack and preparation to go outdoors.

10:50 - 11:45 a.m. - Outdoor play: Jacob selects from climbing activities, wheel toys, balls, hoops, sand and water play, woodworking, gardening, and child-initiated games.

11:45 - 12:00 noon - Quiet time: Jacob selects a book or listen to tapes.

LUNCH AND REST—

12:00 - 12:45 p.m. - Prepare for lunch, eat lunch, clean up: As Jacob finishes lunch, he goes to the bathroom and then read books on his bed in preparation for nap time.

12:45 - 1:00 p.m. - Quiet activity prior to nap: Story, song by parent, quiet music, or story record.

1:00 - 3:00 p.m. - Nap time: As Jacob awakens, he reads books or plays quiet games such as puzzles or lotto on their cots (kids who do not sleep or who awaken early are taken into another room for free play with books, table toys, and other quiet activities).

AFTERNOON SCHEDULE--

3:00 - 3:30 p.m. - Snack and preparation to go outdoors.

3:30 - 4:30 p.m. - Outdoor play: Jacob selects from climbing activities, wheel toys, balls, hoops, sand and water play, woodworking, gardening, and youngster-initiated games.

4:30 - 5:15 p.m. - Free play: Jacob selects from art (activity requiring minimal clean-up time), blocks, house corner, library corner, and table toys.

5:15 - 6:00 p.m. - Clean-up: After snack, mom plans quiet activities such as table toys; songs, finger-plays, or music; stories; and coloring (older kids might help you prepare materials for the next day).

Schedules are particularly helpful in cases where the Asperger's or HFA child is exhibiting oppositional behavior (see video below).





 
Comments:

•    Anonymous said... If he attends school, this will be part of his routine.. Wake up same time in the morning, put clothes on, eat breakfast, brush teeth, comb hair, go to school. After school, you need to get him in an activity so he can be around other kids his age in a "Social" enviroment examples: Gymnastics, T-Ball, Soccer.. When he gets home get a snack, do homework, "playtime" or "Practice", dinner, bath, bedtime.. Life is busy and most can't stay on a such schedules, but let him know several times the day before what activities y'all have for the next day.. Remind in the morning, after school, before bed.. Also remind him of the activites y'all have planned that day, even if it it's going to the store... It is best to try to slowly change his routine without him knowing so he can get used to change.... but start off with a certain schedule.. Good Luck.. My son was diagnosed 2 years ago when he was 10 he is now 12 and theses are things I did for him without knowing he had asbergers.. Today you wouldn't know he had it because he is very social... Get play dates, get him in to sports even if doesn't want to, push him, push push him, becaus the end result is worth it...

•    Anonymous said... Good ideas!! Yes, routine routine routine. Also make sure that if there's a major change try to let him know ahead of time. In a perfect world we can predict changes but obviously that doesn't happen, particularly in school. Have safety nets (people) set up in place so that if a sudden, unexpected change happens and a meltdown occurs that he has support to help him through it. The more you can tell teachers and staff members at school about his needs, his "triggers" the better off he is. After awhile it gets to be second hand nature for everyone, and it does get better!!
 
•    Anonymous said... I break the schedule down into parts and put the visual schedules up near the areas where he needs to complete the tasks. Ex. the "get out of the house" schedule to go to school is by the door; the bathroom bedtime routine is in the bathroom. This gives the visual schedules a context. You can try googling it for some ideas too on what they can look like. I modeled mine after the ones that are in my son's schools. Weekends were the hardest for us until we sat down at the breakfast table that morning and made a visual schedule for that day as well. So long as we keep to the routine, we do far better. I've heard that there are also some apps to help with this, though I have not explored them yet. I find that when we have this structure, he is also a bit more adaptive if we need to make a slight change. Good luck.
 
•    Anonymous said... give him a lot of small chores to help you and often say after we do this then you can do that. Give him pockrts of free time, ask nim how he wants to use it.Use a list for yourself but not for him. he will get the list in his brain in a short time. Thru the day 3-5 times say we only have 8 or 10 or 12 things left to do possibly the momentum of the number lowering will trigger him to offer assistance or cooperation try to schedule music video games and tv time and steer these away from overstimulating pumping excess choices to nature or animal stuff.
 
•    Anonymous said... Mine is a bit different than Kim Cohen's, but still very very visual.... One way I know is to put a laminated sign by his breakfast spot that shows him combing hair and brushing teeth in the bathroom. Then in the bathroom another sign shows him in his room getting clothes on. Then in his room it shows him grabbing his backpack and coat and setting it by the door. Our key to success is NO downtime in the am. If he gets started playing and then has to stop to head to school - it's no good. If he's "off track" you can prompt him by asking him what he should be doing right now rather than telling him. Always put it on him so he learns it's HIS responsibility. In the PM, you can make your routine more time oriented. 3-315 snack. 3:15 to 3:30 computer time. 3:30 - 4:00 free choice or quiet reading. Etc, Etc. Good luck!!!
 
•    Anonymous said... First, dear Mother of your As kiddo. Don't forget to breathe. My daughter changes drastically when there is ANY transition that deviates from her normal day to day routines. I agree with the parents comments above. Posting "to do" lists is good. I let my daughter decide what order to do her morning before school things on a numbered list. I find that even in school, this helps her fourth grade teacher see that visual cues help. Mostly, touching my daughter physically, on her elbow seem to be her most responsive spot, and asking, "can I ask you something?" instead of giving commands from across the room works great so I don't escalate in frustration as she really is not capable at times to "hear me". Also, LOTS of activities that allow rocking, swinging, being "squished" by pillows or rolled up tight in a favorite blanket...having time to decompress with their fave activity right after school. Allowing them to pick friends when they are ready but encourage them by becoming acquainted with Moms and other kiddos who your child "clicks" well with. Best of my prayers and compassion. Please feel free to send me a private message anytime.
 
•    Anonymous said... The picture check list in each room is what I use with my seven yr old and it seems to work really well with him ex. In the bathroom his check list is get a bath, brush teeth, and put dirty clothes in hamper and I let him mark off his progress as he completes them. He seems to like marking off the tasks as he completes them I think it gives him a sense of accomplishment. I use the my magnetic responsibility chart made my Melissa & Doug it has been a Hugh help for both Him and me. :)

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How to Be a Rotten Parent of a Child on the Autism Spectrum: General Strategies for Failure




==> Click here for specific parenting strategies to modify your child's behavioral problems, tantrums, and meltdowns...


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 


More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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to read the full article...

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

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Why Teenagers on the Spectrum Can Be Moody and Depressed

Obsessions in High-Functioning Autistic Children

Crucial Strategies for Parents of Challenging Kids on the Autism Spectrum

    Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum :   ==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children ...