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==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management: Help for Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Managing Disruptive Behavior in Children with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

“We've been going in circles with our high functioning (autistic) 8 y.o. and his disruptive behavior – hitting, kicking, throwing things, just to name a few. We have tried all that we know to try. It's been difficult when he acts out, not respecting us or his siblings. It impacts the entire family! Do you have any ideas of how to handle disruptive behavior of this kind?”

One of the biggest obstacles a parent faces is managing disruptive behavior in the child with Asperger’s (AS) or High-Functioning Autism (HFA). Whether the child is refusing to eat what was prepared, or throwing tantrum on the way to school, the parent can find herself at a loss for an effective way to respond.

If you are at your wits end, the ABC method can provide a roadmap to a calmer, more reliable way to manage problematic behaviors. This method also offers a chance to help the AS or HFA child to gain the developmental skills he needs to regulate his own behavior.

The ABC Method of Behavior Management

To understand and respond successfully to misbehavior, parents have to think about what came before it – and what comes after it. Here are the 3 crucial features to any given behavior:

Antecedent: This is the preceding factor (or trigger) that makes a behavior more or less likely to occur. Learning and anticipating the antecedent is a very helpful tool in preventing problematic behavior.
Behavior: This, of course, is the specific action the parent is trying to discourage - or encourage - as the case may be.
Consequence: This refers to the result that logically and naturally follows a behavior. The consequence affects the likelihood of a behavior recurring, whether it’s positive or negative. Also, the more immediate the consequence, the more influential it is.

Identifying “target behaviors” is the first step in a good behavior-management plan. These behaviors need to be (a) specific (so both parent and child are clear on what is expected), (b) observable, and (c) measurable (so parent and child can agree whether or not the behavior happened). An example of poorly defined behavior is “acting-out,” or “being mean.” An example of well-defined behavior is “completing homework” (good) “pushing your sister” (bad).

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

Antecedents—

Antecedents come in many forms. Some are wonderful tools that assist the parent in managing misbehavior before it begins as well as bolstering appropriate behavior, while others facilitate misbehavior. Let’s look at each of these in turn…

Antecedents that bolster appropriate behavior:

1. Providing countdowns for transitions: As often as possible, the parent should prepare her AS or HFA child for an upcoming transition. For example, let the child know when there are 15 minutes remaining …then 10 minutes …then 5 before he must come to dinner or start his homework. Note: Making the transition at the stated time is just as important as issuing the countdown.

2. Making expectations clear: Parents will get better cooperation if they and their youngster are clear on what is expected. Its best to sit down with the child and present the information verbally – and then put it in writing and post it in a prominent location. Even the child “should know” what is expected, explaining expectations at the outset of a task will help avoid misunderstandings down the line.

3. Letting children have a choice: As the child grows up, it’s crucial she has a say in her own scheduling. Giving a structured choice can help her feel empowered and encourage her to become more self-regulating (e.g., “Do you want to pick up your dirty clothes before or after dinner?”).

4. Being aware of the situation: Parents need to consider and manage both emotional and environmental factors. For example, anxiety, hunger, fatigue, or distractions can all make it much more difficult for the youngster to effectively manage his behavior.

5. Adjusting the environment: Examples of adjusting the environment are (a) removing distractions such as video screens and toys when it’s time to do homework, (b) providing a snack, (c) establishing an organized space for the child to work, and (d) making sure to schedule some breaks.

Antecedents that facilitate misbehavior:

1. Initiating transitions without warnings: A transition is hard for a child with AS or HFA – especially in the middle of something he is enjoying. Providing a warning gives the youngster the opportunity to find a good stopping place for an activity and makes the transition less stressful.

2. Shouting instructions out from a distance: It’s helpful to give the child important instructions face-to-face. A parent’s request that is yelled from a distance is less likely to be understood and remembered.

3. Assuming expectations are comprehended: Parents should not assume that their child automatically knows what is expected of him. The expectation needs to be spelled out! Demands change from circumstance to circumstance, and when the youngster is unsure of what he is supposed to be doing, he’s more likely to engage in problematic behavior.

4. Giving too many instructions at once: If parents deliver a series of instructions or ask a lot of questions, it limits the likelihood that the child will hear, answer questions, remember the tasks, and do what she has been instructed to do.

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

Consequences—

Not all consequences are created equal. Some have the potential to do more harm than good, while others are an exceptional way to create structure and help AS and HFA children understand the difference between unacceptable and acceptable behaviors. As a mother or father, having a good understanding of how to consistently and intelligently employ consequences can make a huge difference in outcomes.

Consequences that bolster appropriate behavior:

1. Being clear and concrete when using time-outs: Parents should establish which behaviors will result in a time-out. When the AS or HFA youngster exhibits that behavior, the corresponding time-out needs to be relatively brief and immediately follow the misbehavior. If a time-out was delivered for not complying with a task, once it ends, the youngster needs to be instructed to complete the original task. In this way, he or she won’t begin to see time-outs as an escape method. During the time-out, parents should not talk to their youngster until he or she is ending the time-out. It should end once the youngster has been calm and quiet for a brief amount of time so that he or she learns to associate the end of time-out with this desired behavior.

2. Staying consistent: If parents arbitrarily issue time-outs when they are feeling aggravated, it will undermine the behavior-management system and make it harder for the youngster to connect behaviors to consequences.

3. Using active ignoring: Ignoring is used for minor misbehaviors and involves the deliberate withdrawal of attention when the youngster starts to misbehave. With this method, parents pick their battles carefully and save their energy for the larger issues that need to be addressed (e.g., verbal or physical aggression). As parents ignore, they wait for appropriate behavior to resume. Then they should give positive attention as soon as the desired behavior starts. By withholding attention until positive behavior is exhibited, parents are teaching their youngster what behavior gets acknowledged and praised.

4. Using positive attention for positive behaviors: When parents give their youngster positive reinforcement for behaving appropriately, it helps maintain that ongoing good behavior. Positive attention improves self-esteem and enhances the quality of the parent-child relationship. Positive attention to “brave behavior” can also help alleviate anxiety, as well as help the child become more receptive to instructions and limit-setting.

5. Using reward menus: A reward is a tangible way to give your youngster positive feedback for desired behaviors. It’s something that is earned, an acknowledgement that the child is doing something that’s difficult for him. A reward is most effective as a motivator when the youngster can choose from a variety of things (e.g., a special treat, extra time on the computer, etc.). This reduces the possibility of a reward losing its allure over time. Also, the reward needs to be linked to specific behaviors – and always delivered consistently.

==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Consequences that facilitate misbehavior:

1. Using positive consequences for negative behaviors: This reinforces the behavior you are trying to eliminate. For example, if your youngster procrastinates instead of putting on her shoes or pouring milk for her cereal, in frustration, you do it for her, you have just increased the likelihood that she will procrastinate again in the future.

2. Giving negative attention: Negative attention actually increases bad behavior over time (e.g., raising your voice, threatening to issue a consequence, etc.). Also, reacting to misbehavior with criticism or yelling negatively affects your youngster’s self-esteem. Kids value attention from their parents so much that any attention — negative or positive — is better than none.

3. Using disproportionate consequences: As a parent of a child on the autism spectrum, you understandably get perturbed from time to time. You may even have become so frustrated at a particular behavior that you said or did something that you felt guilty about later. This is normal and to be expected. But, keep in mind that issuing a massive consequence – especially out of anger – that is not in proportion to the misbehavior is demoralizing for kids, and they may even give up trying to behave well.

4. Delaying consequences: Effective consequences are immediate. Every minute that passes after a behavior, your youngster is less likely to link his misbehavior to the consequence. As a result, you end up punishing for the sake of punishing, which makes it much less likely that the misbehavior will change.

Though kids with AS and HFA are found to have neurologically and developmental related symptoms over time, the primary problem is behavior. Moms and dads need an arsenal of coping methods to reduce the behavioral problems at home. By utilizing the suggestions listed above, such problems can be reduced to a more manageable - and livable - level.

==> More parenting strategies for dealing with behavioral problems in children and teens on the autism spectrum...

More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Parents' Faulty Belief System and Resultant Parental Stress

Be sure to watch out for a faulty belief system (i.e., negative self-talk) that contributes to parental stress. It results in much anger, frustration, and yelling...

==> Click here for more information on how to reduce parental stress associated with parenting a child on the autism spectrum...

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

How to Figure-out Why Your Aspergers or HFA Child Behaves the Way She Does

==> Click here for more information regarding why your HFA child behaves the way he/she does...

More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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