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The Challenges of Adolescence for Young People on the Autism Spectrum

The years from 12 to 18 are the most difficult time for teenagers with Autism Spectrum Disorder - Level 1 (ASD). These young people typically become more socially isolated during a period when they crave friendships and inclusion more than ever. In the cruel world of middle and high school, they often face rejection, isolation and bullying.

Meanwhile, school becomes more demanding in a period when they have to compete for college placements. In addition, issues of sexuality and a desire for independence from parents create even more problems.



In the teenage world where everyone feels insecure, adolescents that appear different are voted off the island. ASD teenagers often have odd mannerisms. For example, one adolescent talks in a loud un-modulated voice, avoids eye contact, interrupts others, violates their physical space, and steers the conversation to his favorite odd topic. Another appears willful, selfish and aloof, mostly because he is unable to share his thoughts and feelings with others.

Isolated and alone, many ASD teenagers are too anxious to initiate social contact. Many are stiff and rule-oriented, which is a deadly trait in any teenage popularity contest. Friendship and all its nuances of reciprocity can be exhausting, even though the teen wants it more than anything else.

These adolescents are not privy to street knowledge of sex and dating behaviors that other adolescents pick up naturally. This leaves them clueless about sex. Boys can become obsessed with Internet pornography and masturbation. They can be overly forward with a girl who is merely being kind, and then later face charges of stalking her. The ASD S female may have a fully developed body, but no understanding of flirtation and non-verbal sexual cues, making her susceptible to harassment and even date rape.

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

Many autistic teenagers, with their average to above average IQs, can sail through grammar school, but hit academic problems in middle and high school. They now have to deal with four to six teachers, instead of just one. The likelihood that at least one teacher will be indifferent - or even hostile - toward making special accommodations is certain. The “special needs” student now has to face a series of classroom environments with different classmates, odors, distractions, noise levels, and sets of expectations.

These teens, with their distractibility and difficulty organizing materials, face similar academic problems as students with Attention Deficit Disorder. For example, a high school term paper or a science fair project becomes impossible to manage because no one has taught the “special needs” teen how to break it up into a series of small steps. Even though the academic stress on the adolescent can be overwhelming, school administrators may be reluctant to enroll him in special education at this late point in his educational career.

Teenagers on the spectrum typically do not care about adolescent fads and clothing styles (concerns that obsess everyone else in their peer group). They may neglect their hygiene and wear the same haircut for years. Boys forget to shave. Girls don't comb their hair or follow fashion. Some remain stuck in a grammar school clothes and hobbies (e.g., unicorns and Legos) instead of moving into adolescent concerns like Facebook and dating. Boys on the autism spectrum often have no motor coordination. This leaves them out of high school sports, typically an essential area of male bonding and friendship.

The teenage years are more emotional for everyone. Yet the hormonal changes of adolescence, coupled with the problems associated with autism, can mean that the adolescent becomes emotionally overwhelmed. Childish tantrums reappear. Boys may act up by physically attacking a teacher or peer. They may experience “meltdowns” at home after another day filled with harassment, bullying, pressure to conform, and rejection. Suicide and drug addiction become real concerns, as the adolescent now has access to a car, drugs and alcohol. The teenage years can overwhelm not only the “special needs” adolescent, but also his or her parents.

Pain, loneliness and despair can lead to problems with drugs, sex and alcohol. In their overwhelming need to fit in and make friends, some ASD teenagers fall into the wrong high school crowds. Adolescents who abuse substances will use the autistic teen’s naivety to get him to buy or carry drugs and liquor for their group. If cornered by a police officer, the autistic teen usually does not have the skills to answer the officer’s questions appropriately. For example, if the officer says, “Do you know how fast you were driving?” the teen may reply bluntly, “Yes,” and thus appears to be a smart-aleck.

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

Here are a few things that parents can do to help their teen through the tough teenage years:

Most of the jobs that a teenager would be able to get (e.g., movie usher, fast food worker, store clerk, grocery sacker, etc.) involve interaction with the public. This means they are not always a good fit for an adolescent with ASD. However, some of these “special needs” teens can find work in their field of special interest, or in jobs that have little interpersonal interaction. Thus, parents should help their teen to find work that it is alignment with these special concerns.

When your child was little, you could arrange play dates for her. Now as an adolescent, you may have to teach her how to initiate contact with others. For example, you could teach her how to leave phone messages and arrange details of social contacts (e.g., transportation), and encourage her to join high school clubs (e.g., chess or drama). Also, many adolescents with ASD are enjoying each other's company through Internet chat rooms, forums and message boards. On a side note, it isn’t necessary to tell your child’s peers that she has an autism spectrum disorder – let her do that herself if she wants to.

You absolutely have to teach your adolescent about sex. You will not be able to “talk around” the issue. Be specific and detailed about safe sex, and teach your adolescent to tell you about inappropriate touching by others. Your child may need remedial “sex education.” For example, a girl needs to understand she is too old to sit on laps or give hugs to strangers. A boy may have to learn to close toilet stall doors or masturbate only in private.

In the school setting, if the pressure on your child to conform is too great, or if she faces constant harassment and rejection, or if the principal and teaching staff do not cooperate with you as the parent, it may be time to find another school. The adolescent years are a time when many moms and dads decide it is in their child’s best interest to enter special education or a therapeutic boarding school. In a boarding school, professionals will guide your child academically and socially on a 24-hour basis. They do not allow boys to isolate themselves with video games – everyone has to participate in social activities. Also, counseling staff helps with college placements.

If you decide to work within a public school system, you may have to hire a lawyer to get needed services. Your child should have an Individual Education Plan (IEP) and accommodations for the learning disabled. This may mean placement in small classes, using tutors, and providing special arrangements for gym and lunchtime. Your child should receive extra time for college-board examinations. Also, teach your child to find a “safe place” at school where he can share emotions with a trusted adult. The safe place may be the office of the school nurse, guidance counselor, or psychologist.

If your adolescent is college-bound, you have to prepare her for the experience. You can plan a trip to the campus, show her where to buy books, where the health services are, and so on. Also, teach her how to handle everyday problems (e.g., “Where do you buy deodorant?” … “What if you oversleep and miss a class?” … etc.).

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

As you prepare your adolescent for the workforce, keep in mind that people with ASD often do not understand “office politics.” They have problems with the basics (e.g., handling criticism, controlling emotions, showing up on time, working with the public, etc.). This does not mean they can’t hold down a job. Once they master certain aspects of employment, autistic teenagers are often able to work at high levels as accountants, research scientists, computer programmers, just to name a few.

Alcohol and drugs often react adversely with a child’s prescriptions (if he or she is on any), so you should teach your child about these dangers. Since most ASD teenagers are very rule-oriented, try emphasizing that drugs and alcohol are illegal.

Most teenagers on the spectrum can learn to drive, but their process may take longer because of their poor motor coordination. Once they learn a set of rules, they are likely to follow them to the letter (a trait that helps in driving). However, they may have trouble dealing with unexpected situations on the road. Thus, have your child carry a cell phone and give him a printed card that explains autism. Then teach him to give the card to a police officer and phone you in a crisis.

Because of their sensitivity to textures, ASD teenagers often wear the same clothes day in and day out. This is unacceptable in middle or high school. One idea that has worked for some moms and dads is to find an adolescent of the same age and sex as yours, and then enlist that person to help you choose clothes that will enable your child to blend in with other adolescents. Also, insist that your teen practices good hygiene every day.




In conclusion, parents of an adolescent with ASD face many problems that other parents don’t. The autistic teen is emotionally more immature than his “typical” peers. He may be indifferent - or even hostile - to his parents’ concerns. Like all teenagers, the autistic teen is harder to control and less likely to listen to his mom or dad.

He may be tired of his parents “nagging” him to look people in their eyes, brush his teeth, wake up in time for school, and so on. Also, he may hate school with a passion because he is dealing with social ostracism or academic failure. However, by implementing some of the suggestions listed above, parents can help their “special needs” teen to weather the storm of adolescence, and prepare him or her for the challenges of adulthood.

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
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Routines, Rituals and Obsessions in Kids on the Autism Spectrum

“My 5 year old son is high functioning autistic and has an obsession for fans, and it’s been going on almost 6 months now. He talks and even draws a table fan constantly. He calls anything round a fan (even though he knows the real name of the object), but he imagines it to be a fan and moves those objects like a top. He can spend hours playing with them. He will collect all the fans in the house and line them up like toy soldiers. I am concerned that his passion for fans has turned into an obsession. In fact, now he knows more about them, the hand fan, ceiling fan, table fan, exhaust fan, and so on. This is the only ‘peculiar’ issue I have with him (for the moment anyway). What does all this mean? Should I be concerned? Should I do something about it? If so, what?!”



Rituals and obsessions are one of the hallmarks of High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s (AS). In order to cope with the anxieties and stresses about the chaotic world around them, these children often obsess and ritualize their behaviors to comfort themselves. While some may spend their time intensely studying one area, others may be compulsive about cleaning, lining up items, or even doing things which put them or others in danger.

Some kids with HFA develop a resistance to (or fear of) change, that then involves being rigid in their approach to their environment. Insistence on sameness, routines and rituals begin. For example, certain items must be placed in particular places and not moved, certain routes must be followed to and from familiar places, objects may be stacked or lined up in a repetitive manner, or particular silverware and plates must be used - or the youngster refuses to eat or drink.
 
==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Confusion about coping in a world that is overwhelming influences this behavior, so the youngster with HFA responds to this uncertainty by being in control of their immediate environment, the objects in that environment, and the people in it. Repetitive motor mannerisms may occur when autistic kids are excited, anxious, or worried. For others, sensory sensitivities and the physical enjoyment may drive repetitive jumping, arm flapping, twiddling of fingers in front of their eyes, and covering ears and eyes with their hands.

The memory of a youngster with HFA is no better than that of “typical” children, but the huge collection of facts he knows (in this case, about fans) usually represents the amount of time and effort that has gone into accumulating knowledge on the subject to the exclusion of much else. The obsessions are not necessarily characterized by memorization of data alone.

The term “systemizing” applies to the “fascination with data” that has inherent networks (e.g., maps, weather patterns, airline schedules, etc.). Although it is commonly thought that obsessions can be strengths that can be utilized in the educational process, these obsessions can interfere significantly with other important daily functions. Children with HFA are more interested in systems that can be described as “folk physics” (i.e., an interest in how things work) versus “folk psychology” (i.e., an interest in how people work).

Repetitive behaviors and mannerisms in HFA children is a somewhat neglected area of research. In the past, these behaviors were associated with lower levels of functioning, because repetitive motor mannerisms are also seen in kids with intellectual disability who do not have an autism spectrum disorder. These behaviors were also thought to increase during the preschool years. There is now some evidence that repetitive motor mannerisms develop differently to “insistence on sameness,” and these behaviors follow different paths over time.

Restricted and repetitive behaviors show different patterns of stability in HFA kids based partly on the ‘subtype’ they belong to. Young kids with low NVIQ (i.e., non-verbal IQ) scores often have persistent motor mannerisms. However, these behaviors often improve in kids with higher nonverbal IQ scores. Many autistic kids who do not have “insistence-on-sameness behaviors” at a young age acquire them as they got older, and some who had these behaviors sometimes loss them.

Obsessions aren't always so bad, especially if they have some educational or healthful value. But, when mixed with the mental makeup of a child on the autism spectrum, problems may arise. Kids with HFA and AS have trouble with social and emotional development and understanding the nonverbal cues in a conversation. While they are more than happy to start discussing their subject of obsession to another person, they won’t notice whether or not the other person is interested.  They may not get the hint of a person's disinterest or lack of time to talk. They may instead proceed to follow another person around continuing to talk on and on about their area of fascination. They may go right up to someone else already engaged in conversation and interrupt them to begin associating their topic of interest with their obsession, or they may take over a conversation and talk endlessly not leaving much time or room for any feedback from the other person.

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

Kids with HFA and AS may become so obsessed with a particular item, toy, game, or subject, that they may push friends away unknowingly. They may leave little time for anything else, thus homework and chore assignments often suffer. Also, they may become too easily distracted, always thinking back to their obsession and unable to stay on task.

Examples of obsessive, ritualistic behaviors include:
  • cleaning rituals
  • compulsion to make lists and/or schedules
  • counting rituals
  • feelings of excessive doubt and caution
  • hoarding and collecting things
  • obsessive need for cleanliness
  • ordering or arranging objects
  • perfectionism (that may sometimes interfere with task-completion)
  • preoccupation with order and organization
  • preoccupation with remembering and paying attention to minute details and facts
  • repeating rituals (e.g., going in and out of doorways, needing to move through spaces in a special way, rereading, erasing, rewriting)
  • rigid following of rules and regulations
  • rigidity or inflexibility of beliefs
  • rituals to prevent harming self or others
  • rituals to undo contact with a "contaminated" person or object
  • stubbornness
  • touching rituals
  • unreasonable insistence that others submit to his way of doing things



How parents can deal with rituals and obsessions in their HFA:

1. Promote social skills— A youngster with HFA does not learn the social norms and common sense ideas the same way “typical” kids do. He may never completely understand the reasons why things matter socially. He may not see any reason why he shouldn't devote all his time to his one major fascination. Moms and dads can take consideration for their child’s passion, but also help him become a more socially rounded person. It is important, however, if a child fixates on a particularly bad habit or inappropriate subject matter, that the parent put an end to it immediately.

2. Choose battles wisely— Breaking an obsession or ritual is like running a war campaign. If not planned wisely, or if parents attempt to fight on many fronts, they are guaranteed to fail. Not only is it time consuming and tiring, it means the parent can't devote 100% to each particular area. So, for example, if you have a youngster with (1) a game obsession, (2) a phobia of brushing his teeth, AND (3) bedtime troubles, choose only one to deal with. Deal with the worst problem first!

3. Consider multiple therapies— Many children can do well with behavioral therapy alone, while others will need a combination of behavioral therapy and medication. Therapy can help your youngster and family learn strategies to manage the ebb and flow of symptoms, while medication often can reduce the impulse to perform rituals. Behavioral therapy, also known as cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy (CBT), helps children learn to change thoughts and feelings by first changing behavior. It involves gradually exposing children to their fears, with the agreement that they will not perform rituals, to help them recognize that their anxiety will eventually decrease, and that no disastrous outcome will occur.
 
==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

4. Limit special interests— Moms and dads need to take care to allow their HFA youngster to be passionate about certain subjects, but to not let it entirely rule his life. If, for example, he is overly obsessed with playing video games, it is appropriate to give him some time to play, but the time should be limited. Even if the subject of fascination is reading books or doing science experiments, it is still important that time be given to other subjects, or just to get out to get some exercise.

5. Use the “special interest” as a learning tool— Moms and dads should take some time (emphasis on “some”) to listen to their child as he talks about his special interest, and even learn about what is so fascinating. For example, a parent who will take the extra initiative to go visit a planetarium for their child interested in space, or take a trip to a dinosaur museum for the child obsessed with dinosaurs, will give their child the extra support and assurance he needs.

6. Weigh the pros and cons— Parents should ask themselves the questions “How much of a problem is it?” …and “Who for?” The answer is often that these behaviors are a problem for parents and teachers rather than the youngster himself (who is very happy to be preoccupied with his favorite activity). Thus, it is unlikely that the youngster will want to change his behavior. The rules of thumb when making decisions about whether or not to intervene or change routines and rituals are to ask yourself the following:  Does the behavior endanger the youngster or others? Does the behavior increase the likelihood of social rejection or isolation? Does the behavior interfere with or preclude participation in other enjoyable activities and an education program? If the answers to these questions are “yes,” then an intervention is highly recommended.

7. Find the right therapist— Repetitive rituals and routines can sometimes worsen if it's not treated in a consistent, logical and supportive manner. So, it's important to find a therapist who has training and experience in treating this issue. Just talking about the rituals and fears has not been shown to help repetitive rituals, and may actually make it worse by reinforcing the fears and prompting extra rituals. Family support and cooperation also go a long way toward helping a youngster cope with repetitive rituals.

8. Teach self-talk methods— Some treatment plans involve having the youngster "bossing back" the repetitive rituals, giving it a nasty nickname, and visualizing it as something he can control. Over time, the anxiety provoked by certain unwanted stimuli in the environment and the urge to perform rituals gradually disappear. The youngster also gains confidence that he can "fight" repetitive rituals.

9. Remain calm— When tackling any problem with your youngster, it's always best to remain calm at all times. “Special needs” children will feed off the parent’s anger, frustration and anxiety. So, keeping a level head at all times is essential. If you feel a situation is escalating and elevating your blood pressure, take a step back and collect yourself.

10. Provide predictability— If your HFA youngster has trouble managing his mood and behavior when changes in his daily routine occur, try to provide him with as much predictability as possible. This can be accomplished by creating a highly structured environment where daily tasks take place in a certain order, and things are physically in order. For example, (a) warning your child ahead of time of upcoming changes in order to help prevent upset, or minimize it; (b) providing lists, charts and calendars on the wall to help your youngster see what will happen each day; and (c) using bulletin boards with individual cards for each task that you can move around with pins, calendars you make on your computer, or dry-erase boards that will make it easy for you to post the changes without having to recreate the list every time there is a change.

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

While many young people with an autism spectrum disorder display inflexibility and rigidity, sometimes the symptoms are extreme and may warrant an additional diagnosis of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). If your child’s obsessions negatively affect daily functioning (i.e., interferes with school work or personal hygiene, compromises social interactions, produces a sedentary lifestyle, etc.), then consider seeking advice from a professional who is an expert in autism spectrum disorders.

So, when is a “special interest” simply a “special interest,” and when is it legitimate OCD?

OCD is a chronic illness, a type of anxiety disorder characterized by obsessive thoughts and compulsive behavior. Unlike other anxiety disorders, the youngster knows that such thoughts and behaviors are irrational and silly, but can’t prevent himself from having them.

With OCD, there are obsessions. Obsessions are defined as “distressing ideas, images or impulses that repeatedly intrude into the child’s awareness.” These thoughts are typically experienced as inappropriate, anxiety-arousing, and contrary to the child’s will or desires. Common obsessions include (a) the need to have things “just so”; (b) the need to tell, ask, or confess; (c) contamination (e.g., fear of germs, dirt, etc.); (d) excessive religious or moral doubt; (e) forbidden thoughts; (f) imagining having harmed self or others; (g) imagining losing control of aggressive urges; and (h) intrusive sexual thoughts or urges.

However, obsessions are not the only telltale sign for OCD. Another symptom of OCD is compulsions. Compulsions are "repetitive behaviors or rituals that the youngster performs to counteract the anxiety and distress produced by obsessive thoughts." Common compulsions include checking, counting, hoarding, ordering/arranging, praying, repeating, touching and washing.
 
==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Some of these compulsions are easily witnessed, but this is not always true. Not all compulsions are obvious; many are mental processes (e.g., counting, praying) and harder – if not impossible – to notice. Typically, the compulsions correspond to the obsessions. For example, (a) aggressive, sexual, religious and somatic anxieties result in checking; (b) an obsession with hoarding leads to collecting; (c) fears of contamination are accompanied by hand washing and cleaning; and (d) the need for symmetry produces ordering, arranging, counting and repeating rituals.

If your HFA youngster really has OCD, he will recognize that the obsessions or compulsions are excessive or unreasonable – he knows that what he is doing makes no sense. Many people who developed OCD did so as a child, and report knowing that there was something different (or wrong) about them in comparison to other kids.

Bottom line: If you have your child tested for OCD, and the professional has ruled that out, then you can "rule in" the fact that your child's "obsession" is likely to be a temporary phenomenon.

More resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 



 COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said… It will change. Unless he's going to stick his fingers in it I would worry to much. My son is now 15. His obsessions changed, I find that with are kids you really need to pick and choose you battles.
•    Anonymous said… It's multi-sensory. That's so interesting. I love fans too and used to think it was so much fun to talk into them!
•    Anonymous said… My 12 year old son has been obsessed with Apple products, cars and now his new obsession is music. Chances are his interest will change and in the meantime he is learning. My sons obsession with music has lead to a desire to learn the guitar.
•    Anonymous said… My son has a similar "obsession" but his collections are small electrical that he takes apart and puts back together and most recently rubiks cubes. I love it. Sounds silly maybe but I love watching him focus so intensely. He lines up his rubiks cubes also and plays with them one at a time. He can solve every one of them and it just amazes me the way his brain works.
•    Anonymous said… My son has been obsessed with fire alarms for several years. It began after a fire drill at his preschool and I'm guessing its his way to cope with the fear.
•    Anonymous said… my son too- how good it feels to know there is another boy out there that is the same- my son is 13 and collects them and knows all about them and even has his own fire alarm panels, alarm and strobes!
•    Anonymous said… Oliver is 6 and has a growing collection as well  🙂 I had no idea there were so many different kinds and systems. We have friends in the fire department who are arranging for him to go on one of their inspections.
•    Anonymous said… With my grandson, we went through Thomas and all things train, weather/storms, and now as a teen he's settled on WWll and history. These things change over time.
•    Anonymous said… Wow I had almost forgotten about my AS daughter's similar obsession with fans! Good article.
•    Anonymous said… Your son has a creative and scientific mind- he may change his interests but will likely still only ever like similar electrical items. My son started off with plugs and cables and taking things apart when he was 3. he is now 13 and has collections of all kinds of things electrical and has enough knowledge to go into the electrical business now. Encourage it, don't take it away, just be sure to set limits as it does take over. Objects are as important to him as you are, you might not like that, but it will be part of his life and you have to respect it too. Best wishes.
*   Bev said... Thank you so much for sharing these experiences. My grandson is 2 years 6 months now and has been obsessed with fans since he was about 6 months old..... He's so different to other toddlers, so advanced - his intellect and vocabulary is on another level and he is just brilliant and observant, and yet we worry about the social negativities associated with As. To us he is incredibly special and wonderful, but the world can be so cruel. Thank you all very much for sharing about your unique children too, it helps to know that my grandson isn't alone in being different. 
 
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High-Functioning Autistic Teens and Emotional Dysregulation

“My teenage son with ASD (high functioning) is out of control, don't know what to do? I tried every option available to me with the exception of bootcamp. I just can't afford to put him in a bootcamp or military school. But that's the only solution that I see. He’s 17 and is on pot every day. He has a hair trigger and will go off big time whenever he is the least bit irritated over something… fits of rage over little things that most people would just ignore. Has threatened to kill himself when he’s upset. Please help!!!”


Emotional Dysregulation (ED) is often found in young people with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA), and is a term used in the mental health profession to refer to mood swings and emotional reactions that are significantly “out-of-control.” Examples of ED include destroying or throwing objects, angry outbursts, aggression towards self or others, a decreased ability to regulate emotions, an inability to express emotions in a positive way, smoking, drug and/or alcohol abuse, eating disorders, self-harm, and even threats to kill oneself or others.



These reactions usually occur in seconds to minutes – or hours. ED often leads to behavioral problems for the individual, which can interfere with his or her relationships at home, in school, or at place of employment.

ED in AS/HFA teens can be associated with “internalizing” behaviors, for example:
  • becoming avoidant or aggressive when dealing with negative emotions
  • being less able to calm themselves
  • difficulty calming down when upset
  • difficulty decreasing negative emotions
  • difficulty understanding emotional experiences
  • exhibiting emotions too intense for a situation
  • experiencing more negative emotions

ED can also be associated with “externalizing” behaviors, for example:
  • being impulsive
  • difficulty calming down when upset
  • difficulty controlling their attention
  • difficulty decreasing their negative emotions
  • difficulty identifying emotional cues
  • difficulty recognizing their own emotions
  • exhibiting more extreme emotions
  • focusing on the negative

ED in adolescents with AS and HFA can be made worse by difficulty in communicating feelings of annoyance, anxiety, depression, or worry. ED may be a common reaction experienced when coming to terms with problems in relationships, friendships, school, employment, and other areas in life affected by autism spectrum disorders.

There can be an “on-off” quality to these strong emotional reactions, where the affected individual is calm minutes later, while those around are stunned and may feel hurt or shocked for hours – if not days – afterward. Moms and dads struggle to understand the out-of-control behavior of their “special needs” teenager, with disappointment and resentment often building up over time. Once they understand that their teen has trouble controlling his emotions or understanding its effects on others, they can begin to respond in ways that will help manage these flare-ups.

In some cases, AS/HFA adolescents may not acknowledge they have trouble controlling their negative emotions, and will blame others for provoking them. Again, this can create enormous conflict within the family. It may take carefully phrased feedback and plenty of time for these adolescents to gradually realize they have a problem with how they express themselves.

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

AS/HFA Teenagers and Their Struggles—

As previously mentioned, many individuals with ED have an autism spectrum disorder. But, when the typical problems associated with adolescence are added to the equation, parents have a real challenge on their hands. Here are just a few of the struggles associated with being a teen on the spectrum:

• The teen years are more emotional for everyone. Yet the hormonal changes of adolescence, coupled with the problems associated with AS and HFA, might mean that the adolescent becomes emotionally overwhelmed. Childish tantrums reappear. Males may act out by physically attacking a peer or teacher. They may experience "meltdowns" at home after another day filled with harassment, bullying, pressure to conform, and rejection. Drug addiction becomes a real concern at this age (most notably, marijuana use).

• Teens with AS and HFA - with their distractibility and difficulty organizing materials - face similar academic problems as students with ADHD. A high school term paper or a science fair project becomes impossible to manage, because no one has taught the AS or HFA teenager how to break it up into a series of small steps. Even though the academic stress on an AS/HFA adolescent can be overwhelming, school administrators may be reluctant to enroll him in special education at this late point in his educational career.

• Some teens with AS and HFA remain stuck in grammar school clothes and hobbies instead of moving into adolescent concerns (e.g., dating). AS/HFA males often have no motor coordination. This leaves them out of high school sports (typically an essential area of male bonding and friendship).

• Many teens with AS and HFA - with their average to above average IQs - can sail through grammar school, and yet hit academic problems in middle and high school. They now have to deal with 4 to 6 teachers, instead of just 1. The likelihood that at least one teacher will be indifferent - or even hostile - toward making special accommodations is certain. The AS/HFA student now has to face a series of classroom environments with different classmates, odors, distractions, noise levels, and sets of expectations.

• Many AS/HFA adolescents are stiff and rule-oriented and act like little adults, which is a deadly trait in any teen popularity contest. Friendship and all its nuances of reciprocity can be exhausting for an AS or HFA teenager, even though she wants it more than anything else.

• In their overwhelming need to fit in and make friends, some teens on the spectrum fall into the wrong high school crowds. Adolescents who abuse substances may use the AS or HFA teen’s naivety to get him to buy or carry drugs and liquor for their group.

• In the teen world where everyone feels insecure, adolescents that appear different are voted off the island. Teens with AS and HFA often have odd mannerisms. One adolescent talks in a loud un-modulated voice, avoids eye contact, interrupts others, violates others’ physical space, and steers the conversation to his favorite odd topic. Another appears willful, selfish and aloof, mostly because he is unable to share his thoughts and feelings with others. Isolated and alone, many autistic teens are too anxious to initiate social contact.

• AS/HFA is characterized by poor social skills. These include a lack of eye contact during conversation and body language that conveys a lack of interest. The teen years revolve around social interaction, and an adolescent on the spectrum may be ostracized and mocked by his class mates because of his lack of social skills.




• AS and HFA adolescents are often more immature than their peers and may be naive when it comes to puberty and sexuality. If they have not been taught about sex, they may pick up information from pornographic material. This can lead to inappropriate behavior and touching that could land them in trouble.

• Fashion is important to “typical” teens (especially girls), but teens with AS and HFA have little dress sense. If they do not attempt to conform to their peers' standards, they will often be mocked and left out of social events.

• Depression often results from the social skills deficits that adolescents with AS and HFA commonly experience. They may feel worthless, and in extreme cases, may consider suicide as an option.

• Bullying is a big challenge in the lives of many autistic teens. Because of their unusual behavior, they tend to attract bullies and are less likely to report this than their peers. In some cases, the AS or HFA teen may respond with violence and end up in trouble at school.

Common causes of ED in autistic adolescents include other people’s behavior (e.g., teasing, bullying, insensitive comments, being ignored, etc.), intolerance of imperfections in others, having routines and order disrupted, difficulties with academics despite being intelligent in many areas, peer-relationship problems, a build-up of stress, and being swamped with sensory stimulation or multiple tasks.

Identifying the cause of ED can be a challenge.  It is important for parents and teachers to consider all possible influences relating to the environment (e.g., too much stimulation, lack of structure, change of routine, etc.), the adolescent’s physical state (e.g., pain, tiredness, etc.), his or her mental state (e.g., existing frustration, confusion, etc.), and how well he or she is treated by peers.

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

How Parents and Teachers Can Help—

The first step is for the AS or HFA adolescent to learn emotion-management skills. A good place to start is identifying a pattern in how the strong reactions are related to specific frustrations. Such triggers may originate from the environment, specific individuals, or internal thoughts.

Steps to successful emotion-management include the following:

• Self-awareness— The AS/HFA adolescent can be instructed to become more aware of personal thoughts, behaviors, and physical states which are associated with ED. This awareness is important for the adolescent in order for him to notice the early signs of losing control of his emotions. He should be encouraged to write down a list of changes he notices as he begins to feel the need to over-react to something.

• Levels of anger and coping strategies— As the adolescent becomes more aware of situations associated with ED, she can be instructed to keep a record of events, triggers, and associated levels of frustration. Different levels of disturbance can be explored (e.g. mildly annoyed, irritated, very frustrated, angry, a sense of rage).

• Develop an emotion-management record— The adolescent may keep a diary or chart of situations that trigger strong reactions. List the situation, the level of frustration on a scale of 1 to 10, and the coping strategies that help to overcome or reduce feelings of frustration.

• Becoming motivated— Parents and teachers can help the AS or HFA adolescent to identify why he would like to manage his emotions more successfully. He identifies what benefits he expects in everyday living from improving his coping skills.

• Awareness of situations— The adolescent is taught to become more aware of the situations that are associated with outbursts. She may want to ask other people who know her to describe situations and behaviors they have noticed.

Self-Help Strategies—

The “stop – think” technique:

As the adolescent notices the troubling thoughts running through his mind, he can learn to (a)  stop and think before reacting to the situation (e.g., “Are these thoughts accurate or helpful?”), (b) challenge the inaccurate or unhelpful thoughts, and (c) create a new thought.

The personal safety plan:

A personal safety plan can also be developed to help the adolescent avoid becoming upset when she plans to enter into a situation that has a history of triggering strong reactions. Here is a real life example of a plan used by a 17-year-old girl with Asperger’s for using the “stop – think” technique when approaching a shopping center situation that is known to trigger frustration:
  • My goal: To improve my ability to cope with frustration when I am waiting in long lines.
  • Typical angry thoughts: “The service here is so slow. Why can’t they hurry it up? I'm going to lose my mind any moment now.” – Stop thinking this! 
  • New calmer and helpful thoughts: “Everyone is probably frustrated by the long line – even the person serving us. I could come back another time, or I can wait here and think about pleasant things such as going to see a movie.”

Possible steps in a personal plan can include the following:
  • Plan ways to become distracted from the stressful situation (e.g., watch a YouTube video or read an e-book on my cell phone, carry a magazine)
  • Phone my friend to talk about the cause of frustration
  • Make changes to routines and surroundings (e.g., avoid certain people that are prone to teasing me)
  • Leave the situation if possible
  • Explain to another person how he or she can help me solve the problem
  • Avoid situations that are associated with a high risk of becoming frustrated

Other possible components to a personal plan can include the following:
  • Use visual imagery (e.g., jumping into a cool stream takes the heat of anger away)
  • Self-talk methods
  • Relaxation techniques
  • Anger-control classes in my area
  • Creative destruction or physical activity techniques to reduce anger

Dealing with the emotional problems in teens with AS and HFA is not easy for parents, and it can be hard to trace back the original causes of problematic behaviors. If parents are concerned about their child’s anger, rage or aggression, they should seek advice from a professional. Oftentimes, young people on the autism spectrum who demonstrate emotional problems simply need help developing some coping, social and communicating skills.

By

High-Functioning Autistic Students and Problems in Physical Education Classes

"My child (with HFA) struggles in PE class... he's clumsy... gets teased as a result... and the teacher doesn't intervene to try to stop the teasing. SO then my son takes matters in his own hands and starts acting out towards the kids who are teasing. Then he's the one that gets in trouble. It's a bad cycle.  Any suggestions? Would there be any helpful advice I could give his teacher so he'll understand my child's challenges?"

Including kids with High Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s in gym classes is not an uncommon occurrence. More and more, kids with “special needs” have gym alongside typically developing kids. Most physical education (PE) instructors teach young people on the autism spectrum although they have little knowledge about the disorder and how PE classes affect those who have it.

Successfully educating kids with HFA involves a deeper understanding of the disorder and how it directly affects the students’ ability to participate fully. When developing instructional programs for kids on the autism spectrum in gym class, educators should examine (a) emotional and behavioral characteristics, (b) academic and cognitive functioning, (c) physical and gross motor development, and (d) social deficits in relation to peer interactions. Rooted within these areas may be such issues as language and speech delays, social skills deficits, and teasing/bullying issues.



Children with HFA demonstrate a wide variety of behavioral characteristics. In educational settings, they often experience anxiety, depression, aggression, and hyperactivity because of frustration during the learning process. They also display a limited number of interests, which can lead to a strong preoccupation with “sameness.” This sameness can cause a predisposition to obsessive routines, repetitive rituals, and difficulty when transitioning.

Parents and teachers often notice the predisposition to sameness in behavior rigidity, since this rigidity affects both the thoughts and behavior of HFA children. Novel situations often produce anxiety for these kids. They may be uncomfortable with change in general, which can result in behavior that may be viewed as defiant and can lead to “meltdowns.”

One main area of concern for kids with HFA is socially inappropriate behavior stemming from lack of social understanding, which can range from simply annoying to highly disruptive behaviors. Unfortunately, most young people on the autism spectrum have difficulty communicating their emotional state or understanding the emotional states of others. This inability further exacerbates socially inappropriate behaviors.

On an emotional level, students with HFA have difficulty accepting that they make mistakes and become easily stressed because of their inflexibility. They also tend to have lower self-esteem than their same-aged peers. Such vulnerabilities may lead them to become targets for bullying and teasing.

PE teachers should actively participate in programs for preventing bullying and should employ various strategies within the gym setting. However, to be effective, ALL educators should employ the same strategies across all academic settings. Also, the PE teacher should work closely with other members of the Individualized Education Program (IEP) team to achieve this goal. Through effective collaboration, all educators can be consistent with the goals related to preventing bullying and the strategies necessary to achieve those goals.

Strategies that PE teachers can use to prevent bullying during gym class include:
  • being consistent in handling situations in which bullying takes place
  • being proactive
  • focusing on the needs of students with “special needs”
  • modeling appropriate behavior
  • talking with students about bullying
  • telling students to report situations

Another identified area of concern is called a “meltdown.” Meltdowns are most frequently related to frustration, being thwarted, sensory sensitivities, and difficulties in compliance when a particularly rigid response pattern has been challenged or interrupted. Educators frequently overlook the underlying antecedent when they address the meltdown. When the youngster does engage in a specific behavior problem, he may be experiencing feelings of stress and a lack of control. In addition, the youngster may exhibit a high incidence of attention problems. Many children on the spectrum have difficulty determining those elements in their environments to which they should attend, so they attend to the wrong things. In some cases, they may even receive a diagnosis of ADHD as a coexisting condition.



Physical and Gross Motor Development—

Many kids with HFA do not possess highly athletic motor skills. Researchers are more and more recognizing that motor functioning is a deficit area for kids on the autism spectrum. These young people typically have low fitness and low activity levels as compared to their “typical” peers. This problem occurs because of the high incidence of children with developmental disorders who have a sedentary lifestyle.

HFA teens are significantly less active than typically developing teens, and few engage in extracurricular activities. Clearly, promoting physical activity in this population is of high importance; however, because of the challenges that these children face, encouraging them to be physically active at acceptable levels may be difficult. Specifically, motor skill deficits may hinder successful participation in gym classes if educators do not address these deficits through effective intervention plans.

Kids with HFA generally have difficulty with tasks requiring balance and coordination, and they often display a generalized muscular weakness (called “hypertonia”), which affects posture, movement, strength, and coordination. They may have difficulty judging distance, height, and depth, or may engage in self-stimulatory behaviors. They may also have problems with manual dexterity, and have impaired dynamic balance, or an inability to perform rapid, alternating movements. An inability to alternate hand and limb movements can directly affect an HFA student's ability to fully participate in physical activities that involve such skills.

Another common impairment for children with HFA is developmental coordination disorder (DCC). DCC often coexists with autism. It appears to be a problem involving the process of motor planning. Common deficits that kids with this disorder experience include clumsiness, abnormal gait, and fine-motor skill deficits. Behaviors attributable to these deficits include difficulty riding a bike, playing ball games, throwing, catching, and kicking. Not only do these physical challenges lead to problems participating in gym class, but they can also lead to social integration problems in teenagers with HFA.

Yet another issue for children on the autism spectrum is the coexistence of sensory integration disorder. These young people often have heightened sensitivity to touch, tastes, smells, sounds, and sights. Avoidance of touch, pressure, warmth, and other contributing factors can foster avoidance in participating in specific games or activities. Oversensitivity to sound can also affect routines and procedures, especially in situations in which a coach or PE teacher uses a whistle or bell. PE teachers should be sensitive to the HFA student's sensory needs, and should modify or adapt group-designed activities (e.g., by using verbal signals instead of using a whistle).

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

PE teachers can use the following strategies in the gym setting to reduce high levels of frustration in students with HFA:

1. Use simplistic and literal rules for HFA kids to understand and follow.

2. Reinforce appropriate social interactions and skill performance with a consistent behavior management system, which can include internal and external reinforcers. PE teachers should reinforce appropriate social interactions, as well as reinforcing the HFA student for meeting classroom expectations.

3. The PE teacher should keep his/her interactions with the youngster predictable (e.g., plan the same warm-up procedures every day, and give the youngster advance notice about activities planned for that day). "Insistence on sameness” can be helped through providing a predictable environment, avoiding surprises, and telling the “special needs” student about changes as soon as possible.

4. Provide exercise and activities on the basis of individual interests. Building on the interests of the HFA student can serve as a motivator and bring meaning to the activity.

5. Provide a visual schedule. Kids on the spectrum benefit from using a visual schedule, because it serves as a cue to them about upcoming activities.

6. One way to deescalate frustration is to allow the HFA youngster to use a quiet or “private area” so that she can compose herself or think through an activity. In the gym, PE teachers have limited spaces that provide reduced noise levels or are less stimulating. However, the perimeter of the gym is more desirable than the center. If a youngster needs to regain control of her behavior, and the distractions within the gymnasium are hindering her ability to do so, the teacher can consider placing a beanbag chair just inside the office. Regardless of the designated area, the student should always be within the view of the teacher.

7. The most difficult time during gym class is unstructured time. If unstructured time exists, provide more structure by directing the HFA student to work in his own areas of interest. Simply instructing him in activities that reinforce his areas of interest encourages and motivates him to be more active.

8. Establish clear rules and consequences. The use of clear rules and consequences helps provide a more predictable environment.

9. The PE teacher can use effective data collection to monitor the behavioral progress of the youngster. The information obtained through effective data collection is a valuable tool in developing IEP objectives and determining specific skill deficits.

10. Collaborate with the HFA youngster's other teachers. Collaboration allows the PE teacher to be consistent in the way that he/she interacts with and instructs the youngster. The PE teacher can then adopt the same type of behavior management system for the youngster that other teachers are using throughout the youngster's day.

11. Provide opportunities for the HFA student to acquire skills through multiple means (e.g., when working with the youngster to promote better awareness of vestibular input and balancing skills, ask her to use a variety of equipment that incorporates movement such as swings, slides, balance beams, and rockers).

12. Use sensory stimulation to decrease self-stimulation and to help the HFA student remain attentive to the task presented.

13. Use repetition and re-teaching. Kids with HFA are frequently unaware that their skill levels are not equal to those of their peers, or that they perform a task incorrectly. In this case, the student may continue using the same movements, thus not reaching the appropriate level of the skill. Teaching a new skill may require many attempts and considerable practice. The youngster may also need a considerable amount of re-teaching of skills.

14. When teaching skills that include several component parts, break the parts up and have the HFA student practice them separately. The PE teacher should demonstrate skills in this manner (e.g., a backward chain of “part practice” when teaching a youngster the skills involved in bowling would be to first teach him how to swing his arm with the bowling ball in hand before asking the youngster to attempt the approach used in performing the overall skill). Once the youngster masters the first skill (e.g., the swing), then he can begin to practice the approach without using the bowling ball. After the youngster has addressed both skills, he can combine the skills and execute bowling in its entirety.

15. To have a successful gross motor plan, the HFA youngster needs to have (a) a mental picture of what needs to occur, (b) clear vestibular and proprioceptive feedback regarding movement, and (c) the ability to make automatic, reflexive adjustments to moving in time and space. In addressing gross motor planning, the PE teacher may need to help the youngster set specific personal goals. Although the child’s goals may differ from those of her peers, the goals should be clear, realistic, and attainable.

16. Try to provide alternative activities (as indicated on the IEP). The physical demands of many activities taught in gym classes involve physical interactions among classmates (e.g., hand holding, spotting for gymnastics, leaning against one another, etc.). Kids with HFA may exhibit hypersensitivity or hyposensitivity during this time. Accommodations may be necessary, and the youngster may need an alternative activity if the degree of sensitivity is greatly affecting his ability to participate.

17. When possible, limit competitive and team sports. Team sports demand an ability to quickly understand, process and respond to social cues under the pressure of competition. Expecting an HFA student to function - or be accepted by peers - in this setting is unrealistic.

18. Utilize individual fitness activities. The tendency for kids on the spectrum to do well with repetitive activities can be an opportunity to teach individual fitness activities (e.g., bicycling). Researchers have found that these young people prefer such activities as running, cycling, and rowing.

19. Most PE teachers select activities geared toward team sports. They should use caution when determining placement on a team. The teacher himself/herself should assign teams instead of using peer-selection.

20. Assess developmental readiness in the student with HFA. When determining the sequence for introducing skills, the PE teacher should examine previously mastered developmental skills and determine new skills by using a sequential manner and rate that is predictable.

21. Break skills into smaller component parts, thus helping the student with HFA to focus his motor planning in relation to the part rather than to the whole. Sequentially linking (or chaining) the component parts can then help the youngster acquire proficiency in performing the required skill.

The gym setting often includes a greater number of kids than the typical number in the general academic setting. This increased number of kids may result in higher than average noise levels. Modifying the physical environment can reduce the onset of a behavioral outburst in a youngster with HFA.

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism
 
The following are examples of ways to modify the environment:

1. Use nonverbal visual cues to accompany auditory messages. These cues can help the HFA student to refocus attention to the task.

2. Simplify the task. If the “special needs” student is misbehaving while attempting a task, he may be frustrated. Simplifying the task may help the student to succeed – and simultaneously reduce inappropriate behaviors. Performing a task analysis on the specific skill can enable the PE teacher to break the larger task into smaller components that he/she can teach independently, yet in sequence.

3. Reduce excessive noise when possible. Use “nonverbal signals" (e.g., colored light systems, hand signals, pictorial cues) to reinforce appropriate noise levels, including the intensity and pitch of vocalizations. In addition, minimize background noises and fluorescent lighting, because many students on the spectrum have heightened sensitivities to these elements.

4. PE teachers can organize the physical structure of the classroom to decrease anxiety levels (e.g., clearly label materials and the location of the activities, which helps ensure that the structures within this environment are consistent).

5. Maintain routines as much as possible. Routines should include "sameness" in activities, including using the same equipment and the same class organization.

6. Try to limit visual distractions. Reducing the number of visual distractions helps the student to maintain focus on the delivery of instruction.

7. Lastly, always encourage and reward progress and achievement by using verbal praise.

There's a lot for kids on the autism spectrum to worry about while at school, and gym class is usually at the top of the list. Gym class can be very different in middle and high school than it is in elementary school, and because autistic kids are often so self-conscious, gym class is often the most feared part of the day. If a youngster is dreading gym, there's plenty teachers and parents can do to help. The ideas listed above will help prepare him or her for all the challenges that gym class can bring.

More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

 ==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

 ==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

 ==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

 ==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism
By

Cognitive and Behavioral Inflexibility in Kids on the Spectrum

“Why are transitions so difficult for my autistic child (high functioning)? It’s impossible to get him to stop what he’s doing at the time without a huge row. What are some strategies which can help when moving from one thing to the next?”

One frequently observed feature of High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s is inflexibility in thought and behavior. Inflexibility seems to pervade so many areas of the lives of children on the autism spectrum. Novel situations often produce anxiety.

These kids may be uncomfortable with change in general, which can result in behavior that may be viewed as oppositional and can lead to emotional meltdowns. This general inflexibility is what parents and teachers often label as “rebellion.”



There are two types of inflexibility:
  1. Cognitive inflexibility occurs when the child is unable to consider alternatives to the current situation, alternative viewpoints, or innovative solutions to a problem. The child with inflexible thinking tends to view things in “either-or” terms (e.g., things are either right or wrong, good or bad). He or she wants concrete, black and white answers. The “gray areas” of life are very uncomfortable (e.g., the child often has an exact way of doing things with no variations). 
  2. Behavioral inflexibility refers to a child’s difficulty maintaining appropriate behavior in new and unfamiliar situations. Flexibility enables children to shift effortlessly from task to task in the classroom, from topic to topic in conversation, from one role to another in games, etc.

Children with HFA may have many fears in addition to those related to unexpected changes in schedules. Large groups of people and busy/noisy environments (e.g., school hallways, cafeterias, playgrounds, bus stations, etc.) tend to overwhelm children with HFA. They may also be overwhelmed by unexpected academic challenge or by having too many things to remember or too many tasks to perform.

They often have limited frustration-tolerance and may display tantrums when thwarted. Routines and rules are very important to kids with HFA in providing a sense of needed order and structure, and thus, predictability about the world.

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

Another form or inflexibility is moralism, a kind of self-righteous and strict adherence to nonnegotiable moral principles that is often out of context with practical reality. An example may be a youngster who criticizes a parent who has run a yellow traffic light when the parent is on the way to the emergency room for treatment of a severe injury.

Inflexibility is also found in the rigidity over matters that are of little consequence, such as arguing about whether the route to the emergency room was the quickest when it might be the difference between a few hundred yards by choosing to take one turn over another. In the classroom, this may be found when an HFA student fixates on a perception that a teacher has not enforced a rule consistently. Such fixations on moral correctness can escalate and interfere with availability for instruction.

Reasons for Inflexibility—
  1. Transitioning from one activity to another. This is usually a problem because it may mean ending an activity before the HFA child is finished with it.
  2. The need to engage in - or continue - a preferred activity (usually an obsessive action or fantasy). 
  3. The need to control a situation. 
  4. The need to avoid or escape from a non-preferred activity (often something difficult or undesirable). Often, if the child can’t be perfect, she does not want to engage in the activity.
  5. Other internal issues (e.g., sensory, inattention (ADHD), oppositional tendency (ODD), or other psychiatric issues may also be causes of behavior. 
  6. Lack of knowledge about how something is done. By not knowing how the world works with regard to specific situations and events, the child will act inappropriately instead. 
  7. Immediate gratification of a need. 
  8. Anxiety about a current or upcoming event (no matter how trivial it may appear to the parent or teacher). 
  9. A violation of a rule or ritual (i.e., changing something from the way it is “supposed” to be). When someone violates a rule, this may be unacceptable to the HFA youngster. 
  10. A misunderstanding or misinterpretation of another's action.

Inflexibility is often the result of anxiety. The cause of anxiety in the HFA child has a lot to do with the fact that she does not have the ability to understand the world like “typical” kids do.

Because of the neuro-cognitive disorder, the child:
  • will have difficulty understanding rules of society
  • needs explicit instructions
  • does not understand social cues
  • does not understand implied directions
  • does not know how to “read between the lines”
  • does not “take in” what is going on around her

“Facts” are what kids with HFA learn and feel less anxious about. Since these “special needs” kids have a hard time with all the normal rules of society, having “rules” has a calming effect on them. They think, “This is the rule. I can handle it o.k.”

Facts also have to be from someone they think is an “expert” in their eyes. Teachers and doctors may have this leverage with them, but moms and dads are, for the most part, not considered “experts.”

Understanding what causes so much anxiety, tantrums, meltdowns, shutdowns, and out-of-control behavior helps parents to know where their HFA child is coming from, and with that, parents will be able to help their kids less stressed-out.

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Parenting Strategies—

Here are some strategies for dealing with an inflexible-thinking youngster:

1. While helping your HFA child to deal with change, be prepared to weather the storm. There will be sadness, tears and tantrums – followed by parental guilt. It’s all part of the process. Remain calm, and accept your youngster for who and what she is.

2. Turn the “change” into an adventure. For example, turn “Are you ready to start a new school year” into “Wow, just think. You’ll get to see all your classmates again.” Since any change can seem frightening to children on the spectrum, the language you use can turn the change into a fun adventure. Changing the tone to one of excitement can make a world of difference in your child’s attitude.

3. Read articles and books about the change in question. Almost any change that your child is going through has been written about (e.g., new siblings, moving to a new neighborhood, starting a new school year, etc.). Go to the library and get as many books as you can on the topic and read together. Reading helps open the lines of communication to talk about the difficulties of the change that is coming.

4. Prepare your HFA youngster for what may happen – and be honest. Voice your plans in a reassuring tone. Explain to him in concrete terms where you will be going, or what may happen along the way, so that he is prepared well before and ready for the change. Also, answer your child’s questions, and tell him the truth (i.e., don’t sugar-coat the situation) so that trust develops. Many tantrums and meltdowns can be avoided, because you keep reminding him throughout the day of what’s going to happen. In this way, there are no unwanted surprises.

5. Many kids on the spectrum have difficulty with the concept of time. But, you can provide your child with simple strategies to measure time (e.g., use an alarm clock or kitchen timer for task transitions, clean up times, or evening rituals). Let your child place a calendar centrally, and help her keep track of important dates (e.g., birthdays, holidays, vacations, the first day of school, etc.). Signal your child verbally or set countdowns for when she must leave an activity that she is enjoying (e.g., “I’m going to turn off the computer in 10 minutes because we are getting close to lunch time”).





 ==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

6. Let your HFA youngster know of some changes in life YOU have undergone – and how you managed them. Your examples are a way of helping your child cope with change in the future. Relate to his situation. Tell stories about when you have had to weather the storms of change. Also, you can talk about what you might have done differently – something that could have facilitated a better outcome. Alternatively, you can talk about the changes within the other family members and how they changed with circumstances.

7. Kids on the autism spectrum love to follow a routine. Anything away from that worries them. They feel best when they are able to predict things. They feel safe when they know what is on the agenda for the day or what they have to do next. They want to know how other people are likely to behave or react, and what will happen from day to day. So, if you and your youngster are undergoing a significant period of change, try to keep most of his routine the same.

8. Help create sameness by repeating a similar “comfort phrase” (e.g., “Sometimes we have to change our plans, and we will be O.K. when that happens”). Use this exact phrase (or something similar) every time flexibility is needed. This helps to bring a sense of control and predictability during chaos. Your youngster will remember that you said that the last time a change was needed – and everything eventually turned out just fine.

9. Focus on just a few areas where flexibility is needed most. For example, if your youngster is constantly distressed when you’re out running errands, this is the place to start. If he is upset over having a babysitter, start there. If he won’t leave the grandparents’ house without a tantrum, focus on that issue.

10. Encourage your HFA youngster to explore and engage in new activities and interests. In this way, you help her cope with change that will come later in life. When she goes through various new experiences, it provides a fundamental base that strengthens her emotional muscles. It helps her feel good about herself and develops self-confidence.

11. Don’t unintentionally reward your youngster for acting-out due to an unwanted routine change. Uncontrolled anger warrants a predictable, swift consequence. Losing a particular privilege may be the best consequence for HFA children. Be firm. Don’t underestimate your youngster’s ability to manipulate you. Even severely autistic kids can be master manipulators.

12. Create behavior incentives using something that is the same each time (e.g., tokens, tickets, stickers, etc.). Let the sameness of the identical token be the familiar thing during the unfamiliar situation. You can also use marbles dropped into a jar (the smooth texture and “clicks” when they drop is satisfying to most autistic kids). For example, explain to your youngster, “When we leave the park today, if you don’t cry, you’ll get a marble to put in the jar when we get home.” Let her cash in the marbles for a reward at the end of the day.

13. Change itself can come quickly or slowly, but adjusting to the new state of affairs takes time. Make sure you give your youngster – and yourself – the luxury of having time to adjust. Try not to expect too much too soon. Some changes are easy to adjust to, others aren’t. Some HFA children adapt quickly to change, some don’t. As the parent, simply keep doing what you are doing, and know that most changes eventually leave everyone in better places than where they began.

14. Attempt to see things from your child’s point of view. Ask her how she perceives a particular change. A child who airs her misgivings about unwanted changes is more likely to cope better. Talk about the details of what will happen, where she will be, and what she will have to do. Doing so repeatedly helps your child feel prepared.

15. Lastly, always demonstrate love and appreciation when your child “tries” to accept a new situation with courage – even if he is unsuccessful. In other words, be sure to reward “effort” with acknowledgment and praise, regardless of whether or not the desired outcome occurred.

Treatment—

An effective treatment program for inflexibility and “insistence on sameness” actively engages the HFA youngster’s attention in highly structured activities, builds on his interests, offers a predictable schedule, provides regular reinforcement of behavior, and teaches tasks as a series of simple steps. This type of program generally includes the following:
  • specialized speech/language therapy to help kids who have trouble with the pragmatics of speech (i.e., the give-and-take of normal conversation)
  • social skills training, a form of group therapy that teaches HFA kids the skills they need to interact more successfully with their peers
  • parent-training and support to teach moms and dads behavioral techniques to use at home
  • occupational or physical therapy for kids with sensory integration problems or poor motor coordination
  • medication for co-existing conditions (e.g., depression and anxiety)
  • cognitive behavioral therapy, a type of “talk” therapy that can help the more explosive or anxious kids on the spectrum to manage their emotions better and cut back on obsessive interests and repetitive routines

In summary, due to the fact that change causes anxiety in young people with HFA, they will want to live by inflexible rules that they construct for themselves. One of their main rules goes something like this:  “My routine must NOT be disrupted, and involves X, Y and Z. Each time I can do X, Y and Z – in that order – my life has some predictability. When I don’t have this predictability, I feel anxious, which is a very painful emotion that needs to be avoided at all costs!”


More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

 ==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

 ==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism
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2024 Statistics of Autism in Chinese Children

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) has emerged as a significant public health concern worldwide, and China is no exception. As of 2024, new rese...