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Parents Talk About Raising An Aspergers Child

Candid talk from parents of children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism:





Aspergers Children and Computer Vision Syndrome

Is your Aspergers child damaging her eyes from excessive computer use?

Computer vision syndrome (CVS) is a condition resulting from looking at the computer screen for lengthy, uninterrupted periods of time. And as most parents have discovered, their child with Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism loves to spend countless hours looking at the computer screen.

Some symptoms of CVS include:
  • blurred vision
  • difficulty refocusing the eyes
  • double vision
  • dry eyes
  • eye strain
  • fatigue
  • headaches
  • irritated eyes
  • neck pain
  • polyopia
  • redness in the eyes

These symptoms can be further aggravated by improper lighting conditions (e.g., glare or bright overhead lighting, etc.) or air moving past the eyes (e.g., overhead vents, direct air from a fan, etc.).



As a parent of a child with Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism, you may be encouraging your youngster to use the computer. A computer is often seen as a visually stimulating aid that will improve the youngster's hand-eye coordination skills and serve as a good learning tool. But parents need to know that their youngster runs the risk of developing CVS if he is allowed unlimited access to computers and video games.

Computer use places too great a visual demand on the focusing muscles of the youngster's eyes, leading to a greater incidence of myopia (short-sightedness). So, parents should be aware that too prolonged computer use can contribute to an eyesight defect that traditionally has been seen as an inherited condition. Nowadays, most kids sit in front of a computer screen at home AND at school – every day! As a result, the good distance vision they were born with is being compromised. Research is discovering that it is a youngster's learning and play environment – not heredity – that is creating the rapid increase in myopia for these children.

Some important factors in preventing or reducing the symptoms of CVS have to do with the computer and how it is used. This includes lighting conditions, chair comfort, location of reference materials, position of the monitor, and the use of rest breaks. 

Here are some things that parents can do to lessen the impact of computer use on their youngster's eyesight:

1. An Aspergers youngster tends to lose track of time when absorbed in activities on the computer. Many parents are guilty, too, of sitting at the computer for long periods. It is more damaging for your youngster's eyes, though, to do so. Monitor the time spent sitting in front of the screen, and make sure frequent breaks are taken.

2. Chairs should be comfortably padded and conform to the body. Chair height should be adjusted so your child’s feet rest flat on the floor. If the chair has arms, they should be adjusted to provide arm support while your child is typing. Wrists shouldn't rest on the keyboard when typing.

3. We’ve looked at the impact of excessive computer use on young eyes, but it isn't just the eyes which are affected. If the workstation area where your youngster works is not ergonomically sound, then problems with the neck, shoulder and back are likely to occur. These problems can be resolved by making sure that (a) your youngster looks down slightly to view the screen from the optimal distance of eighteen inches or so, (b) the keyboard is easily reached, and (c) your youngster's feet rest comfortably on the floor.

4. If there is no way to minimize glare from light sources, consider using a screen glare filter. These filters decrease the amount of light reflected from the screen.

5. Avoid the risk of kids straining their eyes by making sure that the ambient lighting in the room is not too bright. As a rule of thumb, it should be about half that of the computer screen. So, pull down the blinds and avoid harsh lighting in the room itself. Glare from the monitor can also be a problem for young eyes, so it is wise to fit an anti-glare screen for your youngster's comfort. You should also check that there is a strong contrast between the background and the text, as well as making sure that the text size and color do not cause unnecessary eyestrain.

6. Many moms and dads do not realize that eyesight can be tested from a very early age. Every youngster should have an eye examination before starting school, but preferably by the age of three. The eye exam should be thorough, and include testing for near and distance vision.

7. Most computer junkies find it more comfortable to view a computer when the eyes are looking downward. Optimally, the computer screen should be 15 to 20 degrees below eye level (about 4 or 5 inches) as measured from the center of the screen and 20 to 28 inches from the eyes.

8. Observe your youngster's behavior closely. Even if they are experiencing problems with their vision, kids are less likely to consider it abnormal. Excessive eye rubbing, eye redness and a reluctance to use the computer as much as usual can all point to eye fatigue.

9. Position the computer screen to avoid glare, particularly from overhead lighting or windows. Use blinds or drapes on windows and replace the light bulbs in desk lamps with bulbs of lower wattage.

10. Reference materials should be located above the keyboard and below the monitor. If this is not possible, a document holder can be used beside the monitor. The goal is to position the documents so you do not need to move your head to look from the document to the screen.

11. Regular eye examinations and proper viewing habits can help to prevent or reduce the development of the symptoms associated with CVS.

12. Take your youngster to see a specialist trained to recognize the symptoms of CVS in kids. A recent study has shown that one in four kids who use computers require corrective glasses to enable them to work comfortably and safely in front of the screen. Under-developed eyes can experience the same sorts of problems as older (40+) eyes when looking from the computer screen to the keyboard and back again. In both cases, the focusing muscles tire more easily.  This is because the monitor is viewed at an intermediate distance (i.e., neither near nor far), which is a distance we don't use very often. Specially-designed computer glasses compensate for this by incorporating a larger intermediate viewing zone within the lens and so alleviating the strain on the eye muscles. Eyestrain and blurring are eliminated.

13. To minimize your child’s chances of developing dry eye when using a computer, remind him to make an effort to blink frequently. Blinking keeps the front surface of your eye moist.

14. To prevent eyestrain, have your child rest his eyes when using the computer for long periods. Resting for 15 minutes after two hours of continuous computer use is a good policy. Also, for every 20 minutes of computer viewing, look into the distance for 20 seconds to allow the eyes a chance to refocus.

15. Use timers that automatically shut down the computer after the allotted time has passed for your child to be on the computer

Computer vision syndrome can pose both a short and long-term risk to your youngster's eyesight. If you follow the advice above, you can be sure that you're protecting her precious asset.


Explaining Aspergers To Your Neurotypical Children

How to help your children understand their sibling that has Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism:

 




The "Rationale-Dependent" Child on the Autism Spectrum

“My daughter has to analyze and argue over every house rule my husband and I come up with before she decides to finally obey that particular rule. Is this common for children with an autism spectrum, and is there any way to get her to be more agreeable without such lengthy explanations and arguments?”

What if I told you that your daughter may be exhibiting noncompliance for a good reason? Some children and teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) are simply not comfortable with things that don’t make sense to them.

These children, who are “rationale-dependent,” are largely focused on logic. They need to know the reasons for the rules in order to avoid both confusion and anxiety.

Blindly accepting the rules is not the way the rationale-dependent child functions. She needs to understand the reasons behind others’ actions, why something is done a particular way, and it has to make sense to her. Since this child is over-analytical, she often behaves inappropriately because she never gets past the “analysis stage” to the “action stage.”



If a certain rule seems unreasonable, there is no need to follow it in her mind, and she probably won't listen to the person trying to enforce the rule. Thus, parents and teachers will need to give this child the reasoning behind a decision or action – and make it very convincing!

The rationale-dependent child’s coping strategy is to try to make sense of the world through logic and reasoning. In order to minimize emotional stress, she needs the world to be a place with order and symmetry to it.

Thus, she may ask lots of questions about how a particular thing works. Using her well-developed, analytical brain, she eventually makes sense of things and comes to an acceptable understanding of what is going on.

The child tends to be very bright with a high IQ, and she will usually become more flexible when given a reasonable explanation for a particular rule or regulation. But, she may very well have her own reasons and explanations beforehand. Therefore, simply stating the rule is not enough – it needs to be followed with some clarification, in which case, her “misbehavior” will likely decrease.

Tips for dealing with the "rationale-dependent" child on the autism spectrum:


Parents and teachers will most likely need to explain why something needs to be done - or why it can't be done - before they get compliance. For the rationale-dependent child, understanding precedes cooperation.

If the adults’ explanations provide her with information she didn't have, might have overlooked, or didn't understand, they will have helped her clarify why a desired action is beneficial to her. As this child becomes older, parents and teachers will need to do much more explaining, because rules by themselves will have less impact.

When providing an explanation, always match the explanation to the child’s cognitive and emotional level. Don't overestimate how much she knows, because she probably has a large vocabulary.

Always make sure she understands the reasoning behind something before moving to the next step. Also, parents and teachers will have to help this child reduce the amount of analysis by helping her see how “over-analysis” is unproductive.




COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said… As my son got older he started to be less argumentative as he had more understanding/knowledge of life. He's 21 & more independent and learning those life answers on his own through his school, jobs, internship and time with friends. But I get to relive it all again with my 8yo ASD son.
•    Anonymous said… Both of my children not on the Spectrum did this. It is generally a kid thing/ human-thing before it is a specifically Autistic behaviour. It is irrational to ask or think that anything is common amongst children presenting on the Spectrum because if you've met one person with Autism or Aspergers you've met only one person In my self contained classroom we hsve the students make the rules and we gently guide them to follow their own rules. They don't argue with themselves
•    Anonymous said… I don't get sucked into such arguments with either my typical or ASD. I'll explain it to you once, hear you out, but once I've made my decision , it's final. After that you get the "Thank you but your request has been denied" line and it is what it is.
•    Anonymous said… My 14 year old daughter did this about everything. She always has. It got worse with puberty
•    Anonymous said… OMG...my eldest was exactly like this and now diagnosed as somewhere on the spectrum..middle child being aspergers
•    Anonymous said… Soooooooo common and it drives us nuts!
•    Anonymous said… Thank goodness for Facebook so we can connect and know we are not the only ones going through this...
•    Anonymous said… the "authority" thing is difficult for them and even more so if you get into a big discussion. "I am an adult; it is my job to job to designate house-rules- God's design- My Home"; "your job is to follow them with a cheerful heart". Once that is stated, it is not to be discussed again; use a simple phrase and extinguish using picture cards for "your role" and "my role"...giving them authority over other situations will curb the desire to argue everything. Build choices within non-choices and be mindful how you phrase things...do not say "DO YOU WANNA ___________?" or "Don't you wanna _______________?"...that is a choice, but rather, these are the chores (chore chart)- do you want to do a or b...but something will be done. To recap, do not negotiate... explain roles and be consistent. Use visuals, use praise and catch them doing what's right-be specific..."I like the way you _________________". Use positive reinforcers and start where the child is at i.e., if the child can help clean up for 5 minutes increase a bit each time. Extinguish unwanted behaviors by a) naming it and b) fading... i.e., it is not time for "discussion" - flip card over and re-direct...other times, it is ok to "discuss", but you will set the limits. Also, make sure sensory issues are not the blame i.e., my son cannot tolerate the feel of clothes so laundry is not going to be a good fit for him...etc... If the child has been running the show, it is going to take a while to undo the negative, unwanted behaviors and everyone (adults) must be on the same page, using the same language and purposefully ignoring as much as possible. 3 weeks to make or break a habit...may get worse before it gets better... tantrums result in going to "calm down" again, no reinforcement (eye contact, discussion, etc) until the child is quiet/calm, count to three and then release from "calm down"...eventually they will self regulate and put themselves in calm down.
•    Anonymous said… with our 11 year old Asperger son (diagnosed at 5), We tell him, "Obey first. If you still don't understand our rational we would be happy to explain AFTER you have obeyed." He was not happy about it at first and we had some meltdowns (followed by the known consequence for a meltdown). Its funny though that 99% of the time he did not request an explanation after he obeyed. He either figured it out by himself or it just didn't seem important to him at that point. It took a long time, but now he is 11 and has made huge progress: excellent behavior with teachers (most of the time) and can't remember the last time he's had a meltdown. He is also obedient most of the time  ;-) and does not feel the need to get an explanation whenever asked to do .

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Crucial Strategies for Parents of Challenging Kids on the Autism Spectrum

    Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum :   ==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children ...