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Aggressiveness in Aspergers Children and Teens

"My son will be 11 in September. There are so many issues, but the biggest concern now is the aggression associated with his meltdowns. The aggression is getting worse, both physical and verbal. He uses foul language, hits, kicks, spits and threatens to kill me. I am desperate for a solution of some kind. I don't know what I should do when these meltdowns occur. They start the minute I pick him up from school. He does not have this problem at school. Since school started back last week he has had a major meltdown every day. I know that school (he's at a new school this year) is a major stressor. He's completely uncooperative with homework and as I said above, the aggression associated w/ these tantrums is escalating. I am desperate for help."

Click here for my response...

The Complete Guide to Teaching Students with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

Aspergers is a condition on the “autism spectrum” that generally encompasses high functioning children with autistic tendencies.

A child with Aspergers (high-functioning autism) can have difficulty in school because – since he fits in so well – many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive. When teaching Aspergers students, a teacher should be aware of their special needs and accommodate both her classroom and teaching strategy to support the students’ special needs.

Are you setting-up your Aspergers student for success? 

Use the following checklist to see where your areas of strengths and weaknesses are:
  1. Are your activities engaging and motivating for the Aspergers student?
  2. Are your objectives, routines and rules clearly understood by him or her?
  3. Are your rules and routines posted clearly and stated positively?
  4. Do you always demonstrate respect for the student and value his contributions?
  5. Do you ensure you have her attention before starting?
  6. Do you give instructions and directions at the child’s level of need?
  7. Do you have a variety of rewards and consequences that are well known by the Aspergers student?
  8. Do you have smooth transitions from one subject to another and when students return from recess or lunch?
  9. Do you pause when he/she interrupts?
  10. Do you promote self-esteem and confidence?
  11. Do you remember to have fun with her/him and provide humor when the opportunity presents itself?
  12. Have you considered the child’s learning style?
  13. Is your Aspergers student able to cope with assigned tasks?

If you can answer ‘yes’ to these questions, your teaching plan will be very successful with the Aspergers student. If you answered ‘no’ to the items on this list, look toward improving that specific area.

Teaching strategies specific to the Aspergers condition are essential for any teacher with an Aspergers student. The “Aspie” has difficulty navigating social situations, and as a result, is often teased and used as a scapegoat in the classroom. In addition, he or she often has "odd" behaviors (e.g., clumsiness, being obsessive about a specific subject, insisting on routine, experiencing meltdowns, etc.). In spite of these challenges, there are many things that teachers can do with instructional practices, classroom accommodations, and behavioral interventions to promote success for the student with Aspergers.

Aspergers students exhibit significant social communicative difficulties, as well as other defining characteristics, which may severely impact their ability to function successfully in the school setting. But, when given appropriate support strategies, through direct teaching and various accommodations and/or modifications, the “Aspie” can learn to be successful in her unpredictable, sensory-overloading, socially-interactive world. It is critical that a team approach be utilized in addressing the unique and challenging needs of a child with Aspergers -- with teachers being vital members of this team!

Having a student with Aspergers in your class gives you the chance to show your students that people who have challenges can also have strengths ...that in looking past someone's quirks, you can find someone worth knowing ...that life is richer if you don't solely interact with children who are like clones of yourself.

Teaching the Aspergers student to expect change, to be an active problem-solver, to gain skills in flexible thinking, and to manage anxiety builds a foundation for her/his future success in an unpredictable and uncertain world.

In The Complete Guide to Teaching Students with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism, teachers will: (a) gain a better understanding of the disorder, (b) gain insight into how the child acts in an academic setting, (c) learn effective educational interventions for the child, (d) learn the warning signs that the “Aspie” is being overcome with frustration and about to experience a "meltdown", and (e) learn to treat the child in a more holistic manner.

Tips for Reducing Stress Related to Parenting Kids with HFA and AS

"My (high functioning autistic) child is one of the most wonderful blessings of my life – yet at times, stress may cause me to wonder if he is at the root of my most intense times of irritability and anxiety. I don't like thinking like this. Any tips on how I can reduce my stress while at the same time, care for my son's special needs.?"


Click here for the answer...


The School Environment: Issues for Aspergers Students

For the Aspergers (high functioning autistic) student, schools are full of environmental stimuli that can (a) create a state of anxiety and (b) wreak havoc on his or her sensory sensitivities. Many Aspergers kids are already anxious about wanting to follow the rules, live up to the teacher’s expectations, and get through each day without any major problems. 

There have been plenty of studies out there conducted by educational psychologists that show that school settings affect not only those with Aspergers, but other students as well. But keep in mind that the "Aspie" student must also grapple with having her senses assaulted throughout the day. In some instances, if she is not yet a self-advocate, or if she is unaware of her own sensitivities, she may be unable to pinpoint exactly what triggers her anxiety and subsequent loss of control.

Most Aspergers children are keenly aware of the social, educational, and environmental expectation that they “fit in” with the crowd. To compensate, they “keep it together” all day long the best they can. Once they return home, many Aspies breathe a sigh of relief, allow their pent-up stress to explode, and meltdown in the safety of the home environment where they feel most comfortable to let down their defenses. This creates a confusing dilemma for educators who report to moms and dads that their youngster “seems fine” during the day. It also creates a frustrating set of circumstances for moms and dads who may internalize their own self-doubts about “something they must be doing wrong” at home. But it is no one's fault! The Aspergers youngster is simply reacting to the stress-relief that comes with dropping the façade he's been wearing during seven hours of school time.

Here are a few suggestions that parents may want to share with their Aspie’s educators to minimize the stress-inducing “environmental stimuli” that accompanies typical school settings:

1. Partitions around learning stations and computer centers are great for creating visual blocks on both sides of a student and can also cut down some noise.

2. Classroom walls can be over-stimulating and “busy” with decoration. If visuals cannot be streamlined, at least keep them somewhat static so the Aspergers youngster can become accustomed to them.

3. Helping the Aspergers student maintain some element of ‘structure’ during relatively ‘unstructured’ times can be quite helpful. For example, an alternative to being swallowed up by the lunchroom crowd would be to establish “lunch-time discussion” tables in a quieter corner of the cafeteria. Also, some schools assign seating on the bus, which helps alleviate some anxiety experienced by the Aspie when seating is a daily “free for all” and he must compete for seats with older kids.

4. Consider felt pads under the feet of all classroom chairs as buffers against the constant scraping noise they make.

5. Ensure that all children have advance knowledge of schedule changes outside of the routine, such as early dismissal or assemblies.

6. Focus on natural lighting instead of fluorescent lights when possible, using fewer overhead lights or adding alternate lighting such as floor lamps.

7. Many Aspergers kids thrive during those portions of the school day that are structured by routine, but those same children may flounder and feel lost during the many unstructured school events that occur throughout the day (e.g., gym class, hallway socializing between classes, lunchtime, recess, riding the bus to and from school, school assemblies, etc.). As a result, your youngster may be best poised to weather the awkwardness of unstructured school situations if he can volunteer for, or be assigned, a responsibility or role during the activity. For example, many Aspergers children are not as physically adept as they want to be. Playing on a team in gym class can be confusing and uncomfortable, but this can be tempered if he is also in charge of keeping score.

8. Give the Aspergers youngster advance notice of fire-drill times so that he may brace himself for the noise. If he cannot tolerate it, small foam earplugs may help, or wearing iPod or MP3-player headphones may diffuse the noise.

9. Hallways can become extremely noisy (e.g., the echo of footsteps, load conversation, etc.). Wherever possible, keep classroom doors shut.

10. Numbering classroom rules as written reminders for the Aspergers youngster is a good idea, but publicly displaying them on a desktop is stigmatizing. Tape them inside a youngster's notebook or binder and refer to them discreetly.

11. Ringing classroom phones can be startling. Switch to a flashing light instead of a ring to indicate a call.

12. The volume of the PA system in the room may be too loud. If it's possible to adjust the volume, this can help. Same for the change-of-class bell.

For more suggestions on how you, my child's teacher, can make the school-setting more tolerable, please visit MyAspergersChild.com.

Implementing the ideas above may significantly help the Aspergers youngster to “hold it together” in a more environment-friendly school. These methods shouldn’t be seen as “pampering” the Aspie. It just makes sense to poise him for success rather than set him up for failure – especially in light of the fact that he spends the majority of his day at school.

My Aspergers Teen

Although Aspergers (high functioning autism) is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a "special needs" teenager are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the Aspergers teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels -- unless the parents' disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.



Click here for My Aspergers Teen eBook

Crucial Strategies for Parents of Challenging Kids on the Autism Spectrum

    Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum :   ==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children ...