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Violent Children on the Spectrum: What Parents and Teachers Can Do

Question

I am a special education teacher. I have an autistic (high functioning) student that hits impulsively. We have tried behavior modification, social stories, sensory exercises, and music therapy. She will say what she did was wrong and we will role play the correct behavior. She still hits and is getting in a lot of trouble. There is no pattern or functional cause. I want to help her but am running out of ideas. Does you have any suggestions??

Answer

There is a great concern about the incidence of violent behavior among kids and teens with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger's (AS). This complex and troubling issue needs to be carefully understood by parents, educators, and other grown-ups. HFA and AS kids as young as preschoolers can show violent behavior. Moms and dads and other adults who witness the behavior may be concerned; however, they often hope that the young child will "grow out of it." Violent behavior in a youngster at any age always needs to be taken seriously. It should not be quickly dismissed as "just a phase they're going through!"

Faced with a world in which they find it difficult to interact socially, communicate clearly, and control their own behavior, kids on the autism spectrum sometimes respond with aggressive behavior. Aggression - physical and verbal - is a common characteristic of the disorder, and can be directed toward inanimate objects, moms and dads and other family members, educators, peers, and even toward the youngster herself. An observant parent or teacher can take practical steps to soothe and redirect a violent youngster.

Range of Aggressive Behavior—

Violent behavior in kids and adolescents with the disorder can include a wide range of behaviors. Kids who exhibit aggressive behavior intend to deliberately hurt others. Aggression can manifest in a number of ways including:
  • biting
  • cruelty toward animals
  • destroying public or personal property
  • explosive temper tantrums
  • fighting
  • fire setting
  • hitting
  • kicking
  • pushing
  • spitting
  • threats to hurt others (including homicidal thoughts)
  • throwing objects
  • use of weapons

Factors Which Increase Risk of Aggressive Behavior—

Numerous research studies have concluded that a complex interaction or combination of factors leads to an increased risk of violent behavior in HFA/AS kids and adolescents. These factors include:
  • being the victim of physical abuse and/or sexual abuse
  • brain damage from head injury
  • combination of stressful family socioeconomic factors (poverty, severe deprivation, marital breakup, single parenting, unemployment, loss of support from extended family)
  • emotional problems
  • exposure to violence in media (TV, movies, etc.)
  • exposure to violence in the home or community
  • frustration
  • genetic (family heredity) factors
  • limited communication or problem solving skills
  • low self esteem
  • presence of firearms in home
  • previous aggressive or violent behavior
  • spending time with peers who are aggressive
  • stress
  • temperament
  • use of drugs and/or alcohol

What are the "red flags" for aggressive behavior in kids?

Kids on the spectrum who have several risk factors and show the following behaviors should be carefully evaluated by a Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist:
  • Becoming easily frustrated
  • Extreme impulsiveness
  • Extreme irritability
  • Frequent loss of temper or meltdowns
  • Intense anger

Moms and dads and educators should be careful not to minimize these behaviors in kids.

What can be done if a youngster shows aggressive behavior?

Whenever a mother/father or other adult is concerned, they should immediately arrange for a comprehensive evaluation by a qualified mental health professional. Early treatment by a professional can often help. The goals of treatment typically focus on helping the youngster to:
  • accept consequences
  • be responsible for his/her actions
  • express anger and frustrations in appropriate ways
  • learn how to control his/her anger

In addition, family conflicts, school problems, and community issues must be addressed.

Can anything prevent aggressive behavior in this population?

Research studies have shown that much violent behavior can be decreased or even prevented if the above risk factors are significantly reduced or eliminated. Most importantly, efforts should be directed at dramatically decreasing the exposure of kids and adolescents to violence in the home, community, and through the media. Clearly, violence leads to violence.

In addition, the following strategies can lessen or prevent violent behavior:
  • Early intervention programs for violent youngsters
  • Monitoring the child's viewing of violence on TV/videos/movies
  • Prevention of child abuse (use of programs such as parent training, family support programs, etc.)
  • Sex education and parenting programs for adolescents

Treatment—

To be effective, treatment approaches for aggressive children need to take these factors into account:

‘Me against the world’ attitude. Kids who become aggressive have often learned to see the world as a cold and hostile place. They develop a habit of thought that attributes hostile intentions to others. This attitude leaves them little choice but to fight virtually all the time. If, for example, another youngster bumps up against them in the hallway at school, they immediately take offense, certain that they were attacked. They cannot imagine that perhaps the bumping was just clumsiness on the other youngster's part or an attempt to tease that really wasn't hostile.

Always the victim. Even while they are the aggressors, aggressive children almost always think of themselves as victims--of unfair educators, of other bullies, of prejudice--and believe that their aggressive acts are therefore totally justified.

Distorted thinking. Aggressive kids come to believe that overpowering another child is a mark of strength and worth, and that violence is a legitimate way to resolve conflict. Popular media support this idea, with wrestlers who pound their opponents without mercy and so-called action heroes who slaughter foes by the truckload. For good or bad, the government unwittingly encourages the idea that "might makes right" when it engages in shows of strength celebrating the Army and police. Aggressive kids needn't look far for evidence that force is what really counts.

Never safe. The violent youngster sees the world as an unsafe place in which there are only victims and victimizers, so he (unconsciously) chooses to be one of the latter. The power and delight he takes in hurting others, in combination with his already numbed emotions, can make for a lethal mixture.

Self-esteem. For some kids, violence toward other kids may be a powerful source of self-esteem, particularly if they lack other confirmation of their human worth. In many cases, the problem is not lack of self-esteem as much as lack of self-esteem related to positive, peaceful accomplishments.

The loss of empathy. Aggressive kids often don't even recognize (much less feel) the suffering of others. Empathy develops early in infancy. Most nine-month-old infants register concern if they see their moms and dads crying, for example. Kids who have been emotionally traumatized learn to protect themselves from further emotional damage by shutting off their own feelings along with any empathic feelings they might have for others.

Specific Strategies for Parents and Teachers—

Acknowledge your child’s feelings while setting boundaries. Maintain eye contact with your youngster and find ways to help him verbalize his anger. Let him know that it’s okay to be angry but hurting others in not acceptable behavior. You can say, "I understand that you’re angry but I expect you to (state the boundary)."

Acknowledge your role. When one youngster is acting out, the family will blame him for the family's dysfunction. Oftentimes, you will see a family that will present a disruptive youngster for treatment ... this is the sacrificial lamb for the family's toxicity. Parents need to examine their own behavior, and if need be, the entire family should seek counseling.

Be selective about the types of television programs your kids watch. Don’t let them view shows that depict violence as humorous, or as a way to deal with problems.

Clearly State Expectations. Power struggles will be reduced when the youngster knows what is expected of him.

Don't get into a power struggle with a youngster. Sometimes aggressive kids know that if they struggle long enough with their parents (e.g., yelling, screaming, throwing temper tantrums in a crowded store, etc.), they will get their way. Be firm in disciplining your youngster and let them know that there boundaries that they have to observe.

Evaluate Outside Influences. If aggressive behavior has developed suddenly or has gotten worse over time, then find out if the youngster has a food allergy. Other factors to consider are environmental conditions, change in medication or a change in the home or school setting. Some drugs cause aggression. Seasonal or food allergies can cause discomfort that the youngster can't describe, leading to extreme behavior.

Every youngster has currency. Use it! There's not a youngster born that doesn't have currency, whether it's toys, clothes, games, or television. Access to this "currency" needs to be contingent upon proper behavior (e.g., if a youngster throws a temper tantrum in a crowded store, he should not be rewarded with a toy or a coloring book). He needs to (a) understand the consequences of his behavior, (b) be able to predict the consequences of his actions with 100% accuracy.

Identify Triggers to Aggression. Sometimes violent outbursts are predictable. For example, does wearing a warm winter sweater cause him to become angry? Maybe the fabric feels uncomfortable against his skin, or the smell of the drier sheet is offensive to him. Examine every component of a situation that seems to trigger aggressive actions and making adjustments.

• If you know that your child is prone to frequent aggressive outbursts, always be prepared to avert trouble by sticking close by when he is playing with others.

Maintain a unified front. Sometimes aggressive kids know that if they engage in "divide and conquer" tactics with their parents, they will be able to get their way. If you're together, if you're unified and if you're there for each other, then all of a sudden there's strength in numbers.

• Make sure that your kids have opportunities to expend excess energy by getting plenty of physical activity each day.

Obtain a proper diagnosis from a psychologist. Many times, mothers/fathers are quick to make evaluations of their kid's unruly behavior, such as blaming aggressiveness on ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Parents need to revisit their evaluations, because a youngster's violence may be stemming from other issues. Don't make judgments until you get to the root of the problem.

• One of the best ways to teach your youngster nonviolence is to control your own temper. If you express your anger in quiet, peaceful ways, he’ll probably follow your example.

Reduce Stress. Sometimes stress over not being able to verbalize frustration causes aggressive behavior. If a youngster is angry that he can't button his coat, but is unable to describe how he feels about lacking that skill, he could act out inappropriately. Examining the root problem and addressing it may help to curb angry behavior. Calm reactions on the part of the parent or teacher are important here.

Remove kids from the stimulant that triggers violent outbursts.

Seek a Doctor's Advice. Medication may be needed, especially if the youngster's behavior is hazardous to him or those around him. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has not approved a medication specifically for HFA or AS. But some drugs used to treat other conditions have been shown to be useful in treating young people with an autism spectrum disorder. A health care professional can help you determine whether medication will be helpful for your aggressive youngster.

Simplify the Environment. Arrange furniture in a sensible way for the youngster so that he can easily maneuver through rooms. If a youngster often tries to escape through a certain door, change the path of the room so that he is unlikely to go near that door. Keep surfaces clear, taking special care to place breakables and dangerous or messy items out of reach. Organize and structure the youngster's living space to minimize frustration. Again, labels can help the youngster understand where things belong and make him less likely to become overwhelmed or anxious. Restrict access to items that tend to cause power struggles.

• Since kids tend to repeat behaviors that are reinforced, it is important for you to provide them with consistent, positive attention for behaviors that are acceptable.

Stop being intimidated by your youngster. Many moms and dads are afraid to discipline an unruly youngster for fear that their youngster will hate them for being an authority figure. Your youngster doesn't have to like you or even love you, but he does have to respect the parent-youngster relationship and realize that there will be consequences for negative actions. Recognize that you don't have to be your youngster's friend, but you do have to be his parent.

• Your surroundings can set the tone for calm or chaos. So minimize stress levels in the immediate environment.

Pharmacologic Treatment of Aggression—

Medications are frequently used in the management of aggression, and current psychopharmacologic treatment strategies involve treating aggression as part of each particular syndrome.

Antidepressants— Antidepressants reduce fear, irritability, and anxiety, emotions that are in the same spectrum as agitation. Current findings point to decreases in negative mood and aggressive attacks, as well as positive changes in personality traits after antidepressant treatment.

Antipsychotics— Antipsychotic medications are not recommended for people who do not have a psychotic or bipolar disorder. Lorazepam or another nonspecific sedating agent is preferred.

Benzodiazepines— Lorazepam is a good choice to treat acute agitation or aggression, particularly when the cause is not clear. Benzodiazepines also have a risk for abuse, and therefore should not be used on a regular basis.

Beta Blockers— Beta-adrenergic blockers, especially propranolol, have been used to treat aggressive behavior in a number of diagnoses, including autism.

Mood Stabilizers— Mood stabilizers are primarily used for the treatment of bipolar disorder and as an adjunct treatment for schizophrenia. They are also used to treat aggression, although they are not prototypical for this purpose.

Before prescribing medication for aggression, the clinician should ensure that the child or adolescent has a medical evaluation to rule out contraindications to treatment and to determine whether the aggressive symptoms might improve without the use of drugs (e.g., cognitive-behavioral therapy). Psychiatric evaluation is also necessary to determine whether depression, anxiety, substance abuse, or other problems are present. Treatment of these conditions may also result in reduced symptoms of aggression.

==> Preventing Aggressive Behavior in Aspergers and HFA Children

Reward System for Aspergers Children

Reward systems …do they work? We are trying to come up with some kind of reward system and what works??? Stickers? When he completes an assignment, he does not want to work at all, only on his terms.

Click here for the answer...

Children Who Talk Excessively: What Parents and Teachers Can Do

My 7-year-old and soon-to-be step son never (never) stops talking and says everything he thinks. It is SO bad - (as is his severe interrupting) - that it is seriously affecting me and my boyfriends 3 year relationship. When we met he only had bi-weekly visitations. Now he was given full custody as his biological mother and her new husband cannot handle it. I am exhausted and cannot get a word in edgewise. BF says he is "used to it" and I just need to be more patient. Does the one-sided verbiage get better or worse with age? How can we teach him? How can I get it through to BF that his son is only going to stand out even MORE as he gets older if this isn't worked on?

Click here for the answer...

Developing Friendships: Tips for Children and Teens with Aspergers

Question

My daughter has difficulty socializing with her peers. One day, she has friends, and the next day no more. When conflicts arise, she doesn't know what to say, do. She doesn't know how to express in words her feelings. She tries, but it's confused. She sees things as black and white. How can I as a parent help her?

Answer

Here are some tips for those Aspergers (high functioning autistic) individuals who struggle with developing friendships:

1. Think about the person you want to be friends with. Anchor your thoughts on the other person. Here are some things to keep in mind:
  • How might they feel about what you want to say?
  • What might they think?
  • What do you know or remember about them?
  • What might they want to talk about?

2. Watch your non-verbal body language. Your physical presence ‘greases the wheel’ of conversation. How you present yourself physically will plant the seed in your friend’s mind that you want to talk to him/her. Here are some ideas to keep in mind:
  • Your shoulder and hip positions show whether you plan to stay and talk, or whether you just want to offer a quick message and leave.
  • Your body movements show what you plan to do next (e.g., do you want to stay, or do you want to leave?). Remember that your body posture and movements communicate messages to people, even if you don’t mean to.
  • Your body language and facial expression “talks” to people around you, showing them how you feel about things and how you feel about them.
  • It is critical to remember that effective communication is based on reading and understanding the body language and facial expressions of the people around us.
  • If your head, neck, shoulders, arms and hips are generally relaxed, you are showing the other person that you are at ease and comfortable with your communicative partners. At times, you need to physically relax your body to comfort your communicative partners.
  • How you stand and hold your body will show whether you want to talk to them or not.

3. Make eye-to-eye contact. Use your eyes to think about others and watch what they are thinking about. Eye contact is one of the mechanics of showing interest in people, but ‘thinking with the eyes’ is the broader concept that helps people with Aspergers understand the ‘why’ behind eye contact. It may be helpful to discuss eye contact and watch examples of proper eye contact. In this way, the individual with Aspergers will come to understand how to effectively use eye contact to talk with others.

One of the challenges that Aspergers individuals face is that they are very good at learning language, but do not always understand how to use language to build and maintain friendships. Language needs to be used to relate to the other individual’s beliefs, emotions, prior experiences and thoughts.

People with Aspergers are very talented at talking at length about areas that interest them. Unfortunately, they often talk “at” the other person rather than talking “with” them. As a result, others feel annoyed, mistakenly believing that the Aspergers person is self-centered. Here are some points to consider:
  • Add your own thoughts to connect your experiences to those of others.
  • Ask questions to learn more about people; make comments to show interest.
  • Listen with your eyes and ears to determine people’s intentions and hidden meanings.
  • Make comments that support a person’s idea, or add comments that support discussion of the idea without bluntly condemning other people’s thoughts.
  • Think about what you know about the person to whom you are talking.
  • Try connecting your ideas to things that are interesting to others.
  • Use small units of language (or body language) to support people’s ideas, or at least show you are actively listening.

RE:  "She sees things as black and white."  Click here for more information on this topic...


The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook

How Aspergers Teens/Young Adults Can Get a Girlfriend

This is a true story: “How a Geeky Aspergers Nerd like Me Got a Girlfriend” – By Michael

Hi everyone. My names is Michael and I have Aspergers (high functioning). I live in the Boston area and I’m 27 years old. I have a question for you: How can a guy with Aspergers – whose social skills suck, especially with the opposite sex – ever hope to get a girlfriend? Well I did it! And if I can do it – so can you!!!

For whatever its worth, I’m going to share with you some relationship advice. Maybe I can save you several years of “trial-and-error” like I had to go through. Trust me, it would be a lot easier – and a whole lot less painful – to simply go and beat your head against a brick wall for 15 minutes than to try to get a girl interested in dating you when you have no social skills.

So …here are my suggestions. And believe me, none of this can natural to me:

1. Be patient. Life does not usually work on the timetable you imagine. Your future sweetheart may cross your way tomorrow or a couple of years from now. A healthy romantic relationship will color your world regardless of how old you might be, therefore do not hurry into things, or you may wind up forcing the wrong individual into the "significant other" role, which will cause pain for everybody involved.

2. Put your arm around her shoulder for just a few seconds -- nothing perverted or harassing. Do not simply always wait for them to do it first. If they don't like it, they will certainly inform you. But touching someone conveys to them that you find them appealing, as well as that you are fairly self-confident. These two points can make someone feel more drawn to you.

3. Become an excellent conversationalist. Do not babble on and on about your mommy, your kitty, or your assortment of insects. A good conversationalist keeps finding things they have in common, and they do it in a laid-back, non-intrusive way. For instance, there is a distinction between asking someone "Have you ever held a snake?" and saying "Have you ever felt the tiny muscles on a snake as it crawls up your arm?" The second is much more descriptive, but provides too much information about a snake experience.

4. Close the deal. If you really like the girl you are speaking with, be the one who finishes the conversation. This helps prevent the discussion from lingering into an uncomfortable silence, demonstrates you are busy (i.e. not needy or desperate), and enables you to finish the dialogue on a positive note. Whenever you end the conversation, merely say "Hey, I have got to go, but it's been great speaking with you. Want to continue this over a cup of java someday?" If she says yes, get her telephone number and move on. If she says no, simply move on. That is just about all there's to it.

5. Do not use "canned material". The easiest method to come up with a connection with somebody is to come from the heart and live totally in the moment. What you say is not nearly as important as the way you say it. Meeting new people is all about exchanging energy, not being a wordsmith. When in doubt, just say “HEY.”

6. Flirt. A major part of being alluring is understanding how to flirt, and the people who are greatest at flirting are people who are forever in a fun and relaxed mind-set. It is the complete opposite of being serious, anxious, or bad-tempered.

7. Help someone. It may be her, or it may be someone else in the room. Is she carrying something heavy? Say "allow me to help you with that" and carry it for her. Is somebody short on funds? Give them a few bucks so they can eat lunch or dinner. Hold the door open for the next individual coming through, even if they have not reached it yet. Put simply, be a kind and generous individual. It will not only get her attention, but it will also cause you to feel good about yourself (you shouldn't be phony or do nice things only when she is around, though). Help folks on a regular basis, in a wide variety of ways. She will notice, and so will the folks she knows, and on the occasion that you come up in a conversation, people will say "He's such a good guy!" and this young lady will begin pondering "Yes...he is, isn't he?"

8. If you discover that girls have an interest in you and then pull away, stop being clingy. You may be scaring girls off with your enthusiasm (which can come off as desperation). Slow down, and steer clear of the temptation to idealize every girl you like. When you are using or even thinking the word "perfect" then you may be putting her on a pedestal. Fill your life with so many things to do that you are too busy to get obsessed with any one girl.

9. If you find yourself getting plenty of female friends but no "girlfriend", avoid the friend zone. The important thing here is to avoid investing time and effort in girls who don't wish to become your sweetheart. That may sound cold, but the truth is that you are "tying up" your feelings by keeping a close acquaintanceship with somebody that you have feelings for, but who is not romantically interested in you. It will be hard to develop feelings for someone else if your feelings for this individual are fueled each time you hang out. Even if you do find a way to develop feelings for another person, your heart might continually be torn and perplexed, and this will be tough to give your new relationship your undivided affection. Occasionally a good thing to do is to take a "friend zone" friendship down to the level of buddy so you can focus more on courting.

10. Keep an open mind. If you are seeking a girlfriend (i.e., someone who will be in a committed romantic relationship with you) you ought to be more willing to forget about initial shyness and clumsiness so that you can get acquainted with an individual over more than one date. Your future lover may be somebody that you initially did not view as "girlfriend material" but as you hang out with the girl, you find a lot more things you like about her and you all of a sudden end up romantically interested.

11. Make her chuckle. Girls love dudes that have a great sense of humor, and the answer to having a good sense of humor is to be fun loving, and unabashedly yourself. If you are not making fun of people in a mean-spirited way, anything goes. Is your sense of humor kinda dark? Slapstick? Cynical? Go with it, and do not be worried about whether she thinks you are humorous because you know what? If she cannot laugh along with you, then this is not a girl you need to invest lots of time with anyway. And you never know? Perhaps another girl (one whom you hadn't noticed before) will be laughing so hard that her soft drink comes out of her nostril, and maybe you have just found your true love.

12. Practice genuinely complimenting girls. Challenge yourself to find something beautiful in any girl. It does not need to be something physical; it can be a cute gesture, an admirable characteristic, a skill or talent. Recognizing and expressing true gratitude for any and every girl could make you more interested in girls and girls more interested in you.

13. Put yourself out there. It's not necessary to hit the pubs or the cafes if that is not your scene, but you need to do something that exposes you to new folks. Follow interests and pursuits that mean a great deal to you. The World Wide Web has made this a great deal easier. Check community forums, listings, classified ads, and listservs for events in your area or meetings which are likely to attract people with similar hobbies or interests. You may also check out new interests or activities--you might find a brand new passion and a lover in one fell swoop!

14. Something you should look at is letting her know you're single. Putting on a "single bracelet" is going to do the trick plus they are stylish. You can find nice ones at various online stores.

15. Talk to as many girls as you possibly can, not just girls you are instantly drawn to. This gives you sound practice in speaking with girls (particularly if you have any anxiousness about that) and studying how girls really feel and think, in general. Turn it into a goal to speak to a minimum of 5 new girls each day (in person, any girl, any age, any physical appearance, and any personality).

16. When you go on dates with girls, break the touch barrier. If you are afraid of touching somebody the wrong way, to the degree that you hesitate and never touch them first, your motives are good and all, but your "touch paralysis" is not assisting you at all in the romantic department. Take a couple of minor "touch risks".

Anyway, these things really worked for me. I was able to get a date with someone I really liked, and perhaps more importantly, the more she got to know me – the more she seemed to like me.

Oh …and did I tell you I proposed to my girlfriend (whose name is Kristi by the way) after only 3 weeks of dating her? No kiddin’! Here’s how that went down:

My Proposal—

I wanted the proposal to be a surprise (as much as possible anyway …Kristi had a hunch that it was coming)…

…not something boring like proposing over dinner …or something obvious like proposing at a moment she would clearly expect …or something bizarre like proposing with a ring tucked secretly in a plate of Linguini with Clam sauce.

I thought proposing in a church would be appropriate. Her brother is a pastor …my father was a pastor. And we had agreed from the beginning that God would be the foundation of our relationship.

So I had my mom call the secretary at Park Place Church of God (where my father pastored for 14 years) to see if she would be available to unlock the church on a Saturday night (February 14th – Valentine’s Day – at exactly 6:00 PM). Mom explained to the lady that I would be proposing to my girlfriend at that time. The secretary said “yes” …she would be at the south entrance to unlock the door at 6:00 PM.

But I still had a problem… If I told Kristi I wanted to take her to church on Valentine’s Day – she would be very suspicious. What would be my excuse? This will be too obvious.

Valentine’s Day came, and I didn’t have any bright ideas about how to get her to church without blowing my cover.

At 5:45 that evening, my mother called to ask if I had picked up some CDs off her front porch and put them in the house. I told her I had. She said she put them there for a reason – they were CDs of the previous Sunday morning service, and she put them out to be picked up by the CD delivery-person.

Then it hit me… this might be a good excuse to get Kristi to Park Place without being too transparent.

I lied and told her that mom had just called and needed us to go to the church to pick up some CDs of last Sunday’s service. And we needed to do that now before we went out to eat. She said “o.k.”

We got to the church at precisely 6:00 PM. The secretary (my partner-in-crime) greeted us and let us in.

I then offered to show Kristi around the church before we picked up the CDs from the office (which, there were no CDs).

We went down the Hallway of Former Pastors, and I showed her a picture of my father hanging on the wall. I recalled my father telling me that I would know when I found someone worth marrying, because I would love everything about her. This was definitely the case with Kristi. I had seen the good, bad and ugly – and loved it all unconditionally.

We went to the private Chapel and snooped around… passed the Sunday school rooms… then we on to the sanctuary.

I had an expensive ring burning a hole in my pocket, and I was eager to give it to her…

We walked slowly down the long aisle toward the front of the huge, empty sanctuary. It seemed very quiet, dark and somewhat haunted (by good rather than evil spirits, of course)… our footsteps echoing off the walls. I envisioned my father up there behind the pulpit – delivering his sermon -- as I had seen him do many times before.

We ended up at the altar and stopped for a moment. Something told me to “do it now.” So I got on my knees …began to cry …held the ring up to Kristi …and asked her to marry me.

She took the ring …said “yes” …and cried with me. We kneeled there -- hugging and crying for several minutes. After we both gained our composure, we headed back to the south exit.

On our way out, the secretary -- curious about how things went -- asked, “Well, did she say yes?” Kristi laughed, showed her the ring on her finger and said, “I knew this was coming!”

Anyway …long story short, we got married 3 weeks after I proposed. Yes, we moved quickly – from first date to marriage – but it has been the best decision of my life :)

HERE’S TO YOUR FUTURE SUCCESS WITH YOUR ANGEL FROM HEAVEN,

Michael T.

Crucial Strategies for Parents of Challenging Kids on the Autism Spectrum

    Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum :   ==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children ...