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Asperger Syndrome in Adulthood

Aspergers, a form of autism with normal ability and normal syntactical speech, is associated with a variety of comorbid psychiatric disorders. The disorder is well known to child psychiatry, and we are beginning to recognize the extent of its impact in adulthood. The article reviews the diagnosis and assessment of Aspergers and its links with a wide range of psychiatric issues, including mental disorder, offending and mental capacity. It also describes the broader, non-psychiatric management of Aspergers itself, which includes social and occupational support and education, before touching on the implications the disorder has for our services.

Aspergers comes not only with its own characteristics, but also with a wide variety of comorbid conditions such as depression, anxiety, obsessive–compulsive disorder, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and alcoholism, and relationship difficulties (including family/marital problems) (Tantam, 2003). It may predispose people to commit offenses and can affect their mental capacity and level of responsibility as well as their ability to bear witness or to be tried. The syndrome can color psychiatric disorder, affecting both presentation and management, for kids and grown-ups across a wide range of functional ability. Families have taken an active legalistic approach, alleging misdiagnosis and mistreatment and demanding clarity as to the relationship between Aspergers and other diagnostic concepts.

Characteristics of Aspergers in adulthood--

• Awkward interaction with peers
• Few/no sustained relationships; relationships that vary from too distant to too intense
• Lack of awareness of social rules; social blunders
• Unusual egocentricity, with little concern for others or awareness of their viewpoint; little empathy or sensitivity; problems in communication
• An awkward or odd posture and body language
• An odd voice, monotonous, perhaps at an unusual volume
• Lack of non-verbal communicative behavior: a wooden, impassive appearance with few gestures; a poorly coordinated gaze that may avoid the other’s eyes or look through them
• Superficially good language but too formal/stilted/pedantic; difficulty in catching any meaning other than the literal
• Talking ‘at’ (rather than ‘to’) others, with little concern about their response
Absorbing and narrow interests
• Obsessively pursued interests
• Unusual routines or rituals; change is often upsetting
• Very circumscribed interests that contribute little to a wider life, e.g. collecting facts and figures of little practical or social value

Seeking to describe the nub of this syndrome, Asperger coined the term ‘autistic psychopathy’ in 1944 to distinguish its innate social distance from that which develops later in schizophrenia; the concept was elaborated by van Kraevelen in 1963, Lorna Wing in 1981 and, most recently, Christopher Gillberg (Gillberg, 1998). There have been different interpretations of the syndrome and it has become included in the group of autistic-spectrum disorders.

This review focuses primarily on clinical issues: more academic aspects have been reviewed by Volkmar et al (2004).

Diagnostic classification—

As in autism, Aspergers shows impaired reciprocal social interaction and restricted, repetitive or stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests and activities. Unlike autism, intellectual ability and syntactical speech are normal. Wing and Gillberg place the emphasis on current presentation of normal IQ and speech, but ICD–10 and DSM–IV require their presence from early life. The latter presentation is unusual but was stipulated in order to define a disorder that would be an alternative to autism (rather than just a variant or subtype). It is debatable whether many of the cases described by Asperger would have met ICD or DSM criteria.

Gillberg and colleagues proposed a set of diagnostic criteria that approximate to Asperger’s original clinical descriptions (Leekam et al, 2000). Various symptoms have been suggested as distinguishing Aspergers from ‘high-functioning autism’ (i.e. autism without generalized learning disability) and the issue is clouded by the variety of definitions in use. When allowance is made for ability, there appears to be little real difference between the two except in terms of severity (Kugler, 1998; Gilchrist et al, 2001; Howlin, 2003) although self-awareness remains to be explored (Tantam, 2003).

Is the label useful?

Autistic-spectrum disorders comprise a group of disorders of varied form and intensity that fall on a dimensional spectrum of severity that shades into ‘neurotypical normality’ (i.e. the absence of an autistic-spectrum disorder). In clear-cut cases (exemplified by Dustin Hoffman’s character in the film Rain Man) people are helped by a categorical approach that gives a shorthand explanation of their difficulties. The validity of categorization is less clear for those whose milder symptoms put them near the ‘normality’ end of the spectrum as well as for those whose florid symptomatology is limited to only some of the key diagnostic areas. Even less clear is the position of people who, appearing to be superficially normal, have some of the subtle but disabling psychological deficits associated with autism, affecting executive function, attention, perception and comprehension. Closer examination often reveals a mix of specific developmental disabilities which, should they include language and social impairment, it is tempting to classify under autistic-spectrum disorder, sweeping in many eccentric and isolated personalities.

This desire to place all socially impaired patients somewhere on the autistic spectrum is offset by efforts to split off syndromes such as pathological demand avoidance (Newson et al, 2003) and semantic pragmatic (Bishop & Norbury, 2002) or multiplex developmental disorders (Towbin et al, 1993). Complicated by synonyms such as right-hemisphere or non-verbal learning disorders (Fitzgerald, 1999), the result is a confusing grouping of specific disabilities on which we impose recognizable constellations of clinical disorder (Willemsen-Swinkels & Buitelaar, 2002).

Where should we set the boundaries of a dimensional disorder? As with the personality disorders, there needs to be a diagnostic threshold: it might be the point at which the behavior causes distress (either to the patient or to those around) or significant problems in social functioning and performance, or at which it requires treatment. But can we fix a threshold in this way? The label of Aspergers may help the bullied schoolboy but be rejected when he becomes a mathematical star enjoying university: a functional distinction of permanent traits from a disorder that depends on the setting as much as the innate characteristics. That the presence of an autistic-spectrum disorder may make it difficult for the individual to acknowledge his disability complicates this concept.

Autism used to be considered a rare disorder with a population prevalence of about 0.04%, of whom 70–80% had a significant learning disability. More recently, the extended spectrum of autistic disorder gives a population prevalence of at least 0.6%, of whom 70–90% is of normal learning ability. So far, the evidence is that this shift can be explained by changing concepts and diagnostic boundaries as well as by the wider recognition of autistic-spectrum disorders rather than by any real substantial increase (Fombonne, 2003).

As the developmental model embraces more of psychiatry, it appears increasingly difficult to make a sharp distinction between autistic spectrum disorder and other entities such as the personality disorders, simple schizophrenia and catatonia; at times the diagnostic label reflects the clinician’s specialty rather than the syndrome.

How does Aspergers change with age?

Like many other developmental disorders, autistic-spectrum disorders improve with age, although the symptoms, such as stereotypies, may resurface with arousal, whether from anxiety, boredom, anger or excitement. However, while the more overt symptoms of autism are usually at their most florid in early childhood, the symptoms of Aspergers may only become obvious with the social and functional demands of adolescence.

Besides an innate link with varied comorbidity, there is the stress of growing up with Aspergers that arises from unrecognized disability, limited achievement and a sense of failure, often revealed by an increasing contrast with more autonomous and successful siblings or peers. In addition, the syndrome distorts relationships with family and peers, who can be infuriated by the person’s self-centered insensitivity, obsessiveness and rigid inflexibility. All this can add secondary disability and result in a degree of dependency that is out of proportion to the person’s intellectual ability (Howlin et al, 2004).

Over a third of people with autistic-spectrum disorders develop epilepsy, the risk being linked to the degree of developmental delay and receptive language deficit. There is no specific study of epilepsy in Aspergers, although the relatively normal ability and language suggest that the risk is lower, possibly 5–10%, and that it is more likely to start later, in adolescence or early adulthood (Tuchman & Rapin, 2002).

The presentation in adulthood—

Aspergers in grown-ups presents with particular, and often subtle, difficulties, especially in communication, social relationships and interests. Not all people are affected as extremely as in the descriptions below. In some it is questionable whether they simply fall within the normal range of variation, particularly male, and whether their behavior represents psychiatric disorder or isolated, specific developmental characteristics.

Communication:

This is often obviously abnormal, ‘conversation’ taking the form of one-sided, circumstantial lectures delivered impassively by a seemingly robotic figure with a mechanical voice. However, less obvious conversational abnormality includes unrecognized, underlying discrepancies between verbal and non-verbal language, and between comprehension and expression. These can lead both the affected individual and those around him to misjudge his abilities, expectations being either too high or too low. Very often, reading works where listening has brought incomprehension. Often, the life of someone with Aspergers can be transformed if as much as possible is presented to him in writing.

Social relationships:

These are one-sided, distant or even absent, rather than really reciprocal. Behind this is an unempathic objectivity that results in difficulties that range from understanding friendship (and how friends differ from acquaintances) through to making sexual relationships and grasping the rules that distinguish, for example, seduction from date rape. The person is not uninterested in relationships but, misunderstanding them, is too intense or too detached.

Interests:

A key feature of Aspergers is repetitive or focused activities. At their most extreme, these result in an eccentric whose life is characterized by its routine, rigid and systematic approach and whose world might narrow down to railway timetables or stamp collecting. Any development of an interest remains circumscribed (for example, restricted simply to collecting more of something rather than gaining wider expertise) and, far from becoming the basis of a social network, is enjoyed in solitude.

Psychiatric diagnosis and assessment—

Diagnosis on its own is of limited value, but it is the gateway to a great deal of information, specialist groups and resources, including financial support. It is often not recognized that a diagnosis is simply a working hypothesis: it is a clinical judgment that has to strike a balance between being too broad and being too narrow; and it is a process that can evolve with time and changing circumstances. It is essential, therefore, that it is categorical and that everyone involved appreciates its purpose, as its cut-off points will depend on whether it is:

• administrative – giving access to services or resources, or being part of legal assessments regarding mental capacity, reliability as a witness, fitness to plead and level of responsibility
• clinical – a best guess to guide further treatment;
• for research – excluding any doubtful cases

However, whatever its purpose, a diagnosis should only be given if it has a useful function.

Assessment follows diagnosis and it should be broad and multidisciplinary (Howlin, 2000), in particular, taking account of:

• cognitive ability – identifying discrepancies between receptive and expressive, verbal and non-verbal communication
• comorbid developmental disabilities, notably ADHD, tics and dyspraxia
• functional ability – acknowledging the extent to which problems in executive function and limited empathy can disable someone who is otherwise very able; strengths should be identified, particularly any special talents that may become foundations in life

Diagnosis and assessment in Aspergers:

Many people with Aspergers misperceive their circumstances. It is therefore essential to obtain a comprehensive picture of them that includes the accounts of others such as moms and dads, friends, educators and employers (Green et al, 2000).

A report of the assessment should be given to the patient in writing, to avoid misunderstandings that might arise with spoken communication.

If Aspergers is suspected, diagnosis needs a clinician familiar with the syndrome as well as with the alternatives. The diagnostic judgment should be based on a developmental history (that takes a lifelong perspective) combined with a present state examination designed to identify the features of autism.

Diagnostic instruments--

Diagnostic instruments help clinicians in the systematic collection of the right information, which they might match against criteria that, although evolving, hold them to a consistent threshold and a broad conceptual construct. Matching may be refined by an algorithm, but in practice, such mechanical simplicity can be misleading, particularly when there is a comorbid overlay.

Furthermore, although a number of diagnostic instruments have been developed to identify autism, the few that have been designed specifically for Aspergers are mostly intended as screening questionnaires. They vary in the extent to which they are structured, ranging from the very specific, self-rating Australian Questionnaire (Attwood, 1999) through to the Aspergers Diagnostic Interview (ASDI), a simple framework that has good inter-rater reliability (Gillberg et al, 2001).

The more formal, structured interviews, such as the Autism Diagnostic Interview – Revised (ADI–R; Lord et al, 1994), were initially developed as research instruments to identify kids with clear-cut autism. Broader instruments have since evolved, such as the Diagnostic Instrument for Social and Communication Disorders (DISCO). The Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule (ADOS; Lord et al, 2000), a subject interview designed to elicit the signs of autism, has a module for able and fluent adolescents and adults. The International Molecular Genetic Study of Autism Consortium intend to publish their Family History Interview (FHI), a set of schedules that includes matching subject and informant interviews as well as a scale to record observed behavior. Whatever instrument is used, it is essential that it takes account of childhood as well as current symptoms.

Many people will have diagnosed themselves from books and self-rating scales and are seeking formal confirmation. A screening assessment focusing only on current symptoms may be relatively brief, particularly if it complements a psychiatric interview. A more definitive diagnostic interview can require several hours and is not something to undertake without good reason.

Differential diagnosis and comorbidity—

Comorbid pathology is frequent and Aspergers has been linked with a number of particular disorders (Green et al, 2000; Tantam, 2003). This association has sometimes arisen from diagnostic confusion but it also reflects a real predisposition (Box 2 ). After helping people come to terms with the diagnosis and its implications (something probably best done by the non-psychiatric services described below), psychiatric management usually lies in the recognition and management of the comorbid disorders.

Schizophrenia:

Despite Asperger’s early intent, it was only in 1971 that autism was distinguished from schizophrenia, although a number of subsequent reports have suggested that it might yet be identified as a predisposing factor. The similarity of Aspergers to a pre-schizophrenic, schizoid personality disorder as well as to residual schizophrenia, in both clinical presentation and neurobiology, has led to a diagnostic confusion that has not taken account of their differing developmental trajectories. Such suggestions of a return to the concept of the unitary psychosis arise where association has been mistaken for causation – both may have similar underlying anomalies giving rise to similar, but not identical symptomatology.

Mistaking Aspergers for psychosis--

• A pragmatic difficulty in appreciating the extent or limitations of someone else’s knowledge of a topic, coupled with a tendency to obsessionality, can result in over-inclusive, irrelevant speech that mimics schizophrenic thought disorder.
• Autistic-spectrum disorders can show improvement with neuroleptics (Campbell et al, 1996).
• High arousal in a developmental disorder can produce an acute and transient psychotic state with hallucinations and thought disorder.
• Impassivity and a lack of awareness of the emotional climate can look like inappropriate or blunted affect.
• Incomplete answers can sound like psychotic symptoms. For example, a bald report, without elaboration or context, of everyday teasing can sound like persecutory delusions.
• Occasionally, a very vivid account of events is held consistently but is plainly false; these perceptions do not seem to trouble the individual or to be associated with any functional change. There is the sense that the individual is living in a ‘video world’, only detectable and comprehensible if the interviewer has also seen the video.
• The catatonic symptoms (e.g. odd mannerisms and postures, freezing or difficulty in initiating movement) that occur in a variety of neurological conditions, including schizophrenia, can also occur in autistic-spectrum disorders (Wing & Shah, 2000).
• The slow and reluctant response of patients asked to perform a task that has no meaning for them resembles the negative symptoms of schizophrenia.
• Thoughts expressed simply and concretely by someone who has difficulty in describing internal symptoms can sound very like hallucinations.

Although it is doubtful that an autistic-spectrum disorder predisposes to schizophrenia (Tantam, 2003; Howlin et al, 2004), it certainly does not protect. If psychosis arises, early treatment is so important to prognosis that it should not be delayed by diagnostic doubts. However, it must be recognized that, once a patient has been established on neuroleptics, it can be difficult to disentangle the two disorders.

Affective disorders:

Affective disorders occur more frequently in Aspergers than in the normal population. The inability to label internal feelings can lead to their expression in confusing and even bizarre ways.

Chronic dysphoria may merge with more clear-cut depression, anxiety with phobic states, and over-arousal with panic. All can respond to serotonergic medication. This raises the issue of how readily and how early medication should be tried, particularly in the light of the reservations about the use of the serotonergics in depression (Nutt, 2003). Although one positive randomized controlled trial is available (McDougle et al, 1995a), most of the evidence of their efficacy in autism comes from open trials and is limited to the longer-established SSRIs. Individual patients resort to 5-hydroxytryptophan or St John’s wort.

Obsessive–compulsive disorder:

A natural reaction to the mess of everyday life is to establish order (although the greater the success in achieving a set, predictable world, the greater the distress when faced with novelty and change). For a person with Aspergers this reaction may become pathological: for example, the commonplace collection of objects can come to dominate his life as well the lives of those around him, and if all sense of proportion is lost an obsession can lead to criminal offending.

Management includes the use of standard techniques to cope with obsessions and routines – diversion, environmental change, pictorial or written preparation for change, and the introduction of alternative rules and routines as well as of limits.

Serotonergic drugs can reduce the obsession, although finding the right drug may take a number of trials and, once found, its effect may be only partial and temporary. Medication does allow the introduction of changes in an individual’s life and of behavior that might reduce the likelihood of recurrence.

Obsessional traits run through much of biological psychiatry as well as being an overlapping familial trait in autistic-spectrum disorders (Hollander et al, 2003). The absence of internal resistance and anxiety in autistic disorders has caused some to question whether this is truly obsessive–compulsive disorder (Baron-Cohen, 1989), particularly because the content of the thoughts and the form of compulsive behavior differ from that of the ‘neurotypical person’ (McDougle et al, 1995b). All the same, as the management is similar, the distinction may be academic.

Other developmental disorders:

Aspergers has been linked with ADHD, tic disorders (including Tourette syndrome) and various specific learning disabilities, notably disorders of executive function and motivation that make it difficult for an individual to develop an occupation.

Alcoholism:

Alcohol is an effective tranquilizer, particularly for someone who finds social groups uncomfortable. Aspergers can add a compulsive quality to social drinking and encourage isolated drinking ungoverned by normal societal conventions. The evidence for alcohol misuse in Aspergers is more anecdotal than quantified by systematic research, but its significance lies in the quality of its psychopathology rather than in any increase in frequency of drinking.

Offending:

A reluctance to link any disorder with criminality, a tolerance for disturbance in anybody with disability and an unwillingness to prosecute where conviction is uncertain, all combine to mask any association between psychiatric disorder and offending. However, there is a case for suspecting the undiagnosed syndrome in a number of forensic presentations as a number of predispositional elements come with Aspergers. Various factors combine to make violent aggression relatively frequent in Aspergers: ‘hitting people’ was a problem in 40% of a large case series (Tantam, 2003).

Forensic presentations--

The following criminal behaviors might indicate undiagnosed Aspergers:

• Computer crime
• Inexplicable violence
• Obsessive harassment (stalking)
• Offenses arising out of misjudged social relationships

Characteristic features of Aspergers that predispose to criminal offending--

• An innate lack of awareness of the outcome that allows people to embark on actions with unforeseen consequences; for example, fire-setting may result in a building’s destruction and assault in death.
• An innate lack of concern for the outcome can result in, for example, an assault that is disproportionately intense and damaging. People often lack insight and deny responsibility, blaming someone else; this may be part of an inability to see their inappropriate behavior as others see it.
• Difficulty in judging the age of others can lead the person into illegal relationships and acts such as sexual advances to somebody under age.
• Impulsivity, sometimes violent, can be a component of comorbid ADHD or of anxiety turning into panic.
• Misinterpreting rules, particularly social ones, people find themselves unwittingly embroiled in offenses such as date rape.
• Social naïvety and the misinterpretation of relationships can leave the individual open to exploitation as a stooge. Their limited emotional knowledge can lead to a childish approach to adult situations and relationships, resulting, for example, in the mistaking of social attraction or friendship for love.
• In formal interviews, misjudging relationships and consequences can permit an incautious frankness and the disclosure of private fantasies which, although no more lurid than any adolescent’s, are best not revealed.
• Lacking motivation to change, people may remain stuck in a risky pattern of behavior.
• Overriding obsessions can lead to offenses such as stalking or compulsive theft. Admonition can increase anxiety and consequently a ruminative thinking of the unthinkable that increases the likelihood of action.

Many of the characteristics listed in Box 5 affect the individual’s capacity to make valid decisions, thus limiting his level of responsibility. Whether someone is identified as an ‘offender’ (as distinct from someone who has committed an offense) depends on chance factors in their environment such as the effectiveness of their supervision, the recognition of autistic-spectrum disorder and the understanding of those around.

Reliability as a witness:

The report of an event depends on what the observer actually saw, their interpretation of the scene and on their memory. Certain characteristics of Aspergers color individuals’ understanding and recall of a situation. Consequently, in deciding on fitness to act as a witness it is important to assess, first, the individual’s ability to give a reliable account. Here it is essential to get enough specific, concrete, verifiable material such as details of the scene (e.g. the clothing worn and the color and pattern of the wallpaper), as well as of the events preceding and following the episode, to be able to identify any temporal confusion.

 Features of Aspergers that affect an individual’s reliability as a witness--

• Difficulty in distinguishing his own actions from those of others, which may extend to a confusion of reality with observed fiction.
• Difficulty with the dimension of time. Although the person may recall the sequence of events correctly, his perception of the relative periods of intervening time may be so inaccurate as to make it unclear as to whether he is recounting something that happened the previous day, week or year.
• Difficulty with the normal structure of official interviews, whether in the police station or the witness box, where the unfamiliar surroundings and circumstances will increase his disabilities.
• The interview can be distorted by the misinterpretation of rules and relationships, with undue compliance complicated by a rigid tendency to adhere to (and believe in) a story once it is in his head.
• The risk of misinterpretation of what he has seen or heard.

Second, the individual’s ability to give a good account and to comprehend and to respond to questions must also be assessed. Allowance must be made for communication problems such as the use of words without understanding their significance, the characteristic, very literal comprehension, and the inability to take in non-verbal components. Here the use of visual aids, particularly written text, can help communication, which may be made even more friendly by the use of a computer.

There is a risk that people with Aspergers may not be recognized as vulnerable adults, particularly if they have a good academic awareness of right from wrong. How they present themselves becomes of particular importance with the removal of the right to silence, as it can affect fitness to plead (Gray et al, 2001).

Broader (non-psychiatric) management—

Structure and support can reduce the stress of everyday life to the point that an individual with Aspergers can function (whether in education, employment or family domesticity), and every patient needs to be seen in this context (Powell, 2002). Education is central as, although innate deficits can improve with time, people with the syndrome have to learn consciously the skills that most acquire intuitively. Examples are the unwritten rules of social life such as how to make social overtures, to complain and to avoid exploitation (Segar, 1997).

Education:

Life in a small primary school, with consistent classmates, the same classroom and the same teacher, can be sufficiently straightforward for kids to cope. It is when they move from this relative stability into the secondary school confusion of different sets and multiple educators that they are tested and their true degree of disability becomes apparent.

Education needs to be unusually broad and explicit as these students develop on a wide variety of fronts. Besides supervision to cope with organizing and completing academic tasks, they will need support to develop self-help skills in everyday areas such as shopping, laundry and cleanliness (where obsessionality may block self-care) and social skills (conversation, dating, coping with authority, asking for help) (Attwood, 2000). All of these have to be taught if people with Aspergers are to develop the sense of a positive identity and competence that comes more naturally to normal, ‘neurotypical’ young people.

Further education gives the opportunity to learn the skills necessary to cope with employment, higher education or simply everyday life. Although sector colleges are becoming better geared to students with special needs, they are limited by their structure, funding and expertise. People who are unusually awkward, sensitive, violent or disturbed may require a place at a specialist college. These provide a compatible peer group, staff with understanding and expertise, and considerable support.

Funding for up to 3 years of specialist further education can be obtained for people between the ages of 16 and 25 years. It is intended for those who want to progress beyond school-leaving but do not have the skills or ability to cope with sector college.

Although social demands may be less than in other forms of education, the lack of structure and supervision defeat many who are otherwise academically able. In England, the Special Education Needs and Disability Act 2001 (SENDA) has established legal rights for disabled students and has outlawed discrimination in education at all ages. Students can declare their disability on application to a university or college.

A number of universities have put in place measures to help students with autistic-spectrum disorders. Such measures may create a more sympathetic setting than any previously experienced and bring the hope that earlier disturbance, the consequence of an uncomfortable environment, will evaporate. However, no matter how specialist the college or attuned the university, it cannot be a substitute for an adolescent psychiatric unit or a therapeutic community if it is to retain an academic climate.

 Measures adopted by universities to help students with autistic-spectrum disorders--

• A disability support service that has the skills and status to liaise with departments to help them to adapt to the needs of these students (e.g. by extending work deadlines, or modifying arrangements to enable a student to complete placements, practicals or fieldwork).
• A key worker, usually a postgraduate student or member of staff, to whom a student can go for immediate advice or pastoral support.
• A public education program and specific training, for both staff and students, to make them aware of autistic-spectrum disorders and their difficulties, and of the support service.
• Specialist tuition to develop suitable study skills (e.g. language skills, structuring their work and organizing their approach to studying).
• The use of aids such as handouts and tape recordings of lectures.
• Help with managing allowances, budgeting and everyday skills such as laundry and shopping. Mentorship schemes, possibly through the students’ union, can draw in other students.
• A clear and realistic plan for the student’s exit from college when they have completed their course. There should be reviews in the final year and, if the student is under 25 years old, Connexions (the careers and employment advisory agency designed to help people throughout adolescence and into adulthood) can be contacted.
• A support network for isolated students. Group seminars, tutorial and study groups can all contribute, as can paired or group assignments and recreational activities.
• An introductory program that includes first contacts (e.g. with a tutor), good induction and orientation (e.g. with maps of the campus and lists of important contacts and their roles), positive family contacts when appropriate and, above all, a flexible approach that adapts to different students and their particular needs.
• Safe places on campus where students can withdraw, calm down and refocus when anxiety or anger threaten to get out of control. The involvement of all elements, including the campus police and the students’ union, can allow fragile students to complete their course successfully as well as learn to manage their over-arousal.

Employment:

People with Aspergers often find themselves in a maze guided by disability specialists with limited knowledge of the disorder. Their difficulties start with the skills required for a job interview. Then there is the need to cope with people, the unpredictable and the unexpected that are part of many jobs. Even jobs that seem ideal, for example that capitalize on special interests or a methodical approach can fail should an individual become bogged down in ritual slowness or should his interest take over – an enthusiasm for timetables has to remain subservient to giving others the information. The successful post takes these factors into account and builds in support so that, when things start going wrong, they are quickly detected and rectified. Such help may come from a dedicated individual, the job coach, but eventual success will depend on how far the setting and, in particular, others at work are able to take over.

Several specialist schemes have been developed, most notably Prospects, a program run by the National Autistic Society, which has been very successful in helping people to get and retain jobs, largely at a skilled clerical or technical level. Its experience has been of a workforce characterized by good time-keeping and the ability to get on with work that others might find too repetitive, without being distracted by the temptation to waste time in gossip or to engage in promotion-seeking office politics.

Social care:

Many people will need continued everyday support that may range from a regular visitor through to someone living in the same house. For some, this will be to ensure that they eat, care for themselves and continue to take part in society. For others, it will be to help them to avoid or disentangle themselves from the predicaments that arise from their social naïvety, lack of foresight, or odd appearance and behavior (which can make them the target of kid’s abuse and the neighborhood scapegoat). Some will continue to get this support from moms and dads, others may acquire a partner or friend, and a few will need to employ someone on a formal basis. Many find support irritating and difficult to accept.

Family support:

Aspergers adds an unusual complexity to the family, and similar traits in other members may either compound or buffer matters. Moms and dads, partners and siblings may need formal counseling or group work, particularly if they themselves have communication difficulties, an unusual objectivity or a focused persistence. An Asperger support group can offer substantial help.

Service implications—

People with Aspergers fall into therapeutic limbo, too able for learning disability services and foreign to general psychiatry. A political groundswell, driven by families, is pressing for better psychiatric services that are sufficiently familiar with the disorder for it not to disadvantage patients. Psychiatric resources were insufficient even before autism achieved ‘popularity’. Consequently, it is unrealistic to hope for separate specialist facilities for out-patients, let alone in-patients, except at a regional level. Existing resources will need to become autism-friendly, something that is achieved by staff training as much as by environmental change.

It helps that the label of ‘autism’ attracts substantial funding (more than ‘personality disorder’) and that there are a variety of specialist support services. However, although good specialist care services can provide comfortable community placements for very disturbed people, some psychiatric services have found themselves overstretched by over-ambitious care providers that take on more than they can cope with. Supporting and influencing such services in their development might avoid this problem.

The psychiatrist has to keep pace with the growing awareness of patients and the public, as much to exclude Aspergers as to recognize it and its consequences. The effects of comorbid disorder have to be disentangled from the underlying syndrome, and the diagnosis should be used selectively rather than as a catchall for any unclassifiable personality or disorder. The recognition of developmental disorder in an ever-increasing range of social and interpersonal difficulties carries the risk of retracing earlier psychoanalytic paths that medicalized the human condition.

All psychiatric specialties need to develop sufficient knowledge and skill in dealing with autistic-spectrum disorders to avoid accusations of incompetence. An initial step would be to agree the minimum level of expertise and training.

Summary--

1. The characteristics of Aspergers include:

a. specialist expertise
b. a lack of speech
c. a lack of interest in people
d. a lack of friendships
e. a lack of awareness of the feelings of others

2. People with the syndrome frequently have/have had:

a. a psychotic episode
b. ADHD
c. alcoholism
d. anxiety disorder
e. depression

3. A person with Aspergers:

a. has difficulty with the unfamiliar and unstructured
b. has very good recall of events
c. needs psychiatric treatment
d. will probably not develop epilepsy
e. will probably require long-term support

4. Aspergers is:

a. a genetic disorder
b. a mild disorder
c. distinct from autism
d. part of the autistic spectrum of disorder
e. predominantly a disorder of childhood

5. Aspergers:

a. can limit mental capacity to make decisions
b. improves with age
c. occurs in about 2% of the population
d. restricts employment
e. will probably include several specific learning disabilities

Students with ASD: #1 Best Tip for Teachers



Parents With Asperger Syndrome

Comments from Parents—

I have not been formally diagnosed as I don't particularly like doctors but I meet almost all the criteria for Aspergers Syndrome. My neice was diagnosed autistic two years ago and during my research I heard about Aspergers and all of a sudden it just clicked. I have had trouble my whole life with all of the issues of Aspergers. Are there any other parents with Aspergers or parents of kids with aspergers?

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My child, age 3, is being *tentatively* diagnosed AS. Being that he is very young(most kids are not diagnosed until school-age) it is difficult to say whether the suspicions will pan out. Have you thought about having an evaluation done?
If you have any direct questions, feel free to pm me.

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I'm currently checking Aspergers out as well. My DS has Sensory Integration and he clicks with the Aspergers theme as well. I'll know more when we can get him in for more evals. But there are some of us in your boat it sounds like and hopefully more will chime in as I as well will be lookign to this board for more info. :-) Goodluck!

ETA 4 years later sicne this was bumped:
He is officially DX'd as Autism.
As far as parent's with Aspergers... lots of those around here too. I'm most likely Aspergers although we don't know which for sure. I chose not to go further into the eval process to pinpoint which one because it really didn't matter to me at the time which it was. *shrug*

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I'm a self-diagnosed Aspie. My official dx, years ago, was ADHD, but in comparing the 2, while there are a lot of similarites, the Aspergers symptoms fit me better. Sometimes it's fun.....it doesn't take much to amuse me, give me some kind of toy with a texture to it, and I'm busy for awhile. Somtimes it sucks......the clumsiness and social problems drive me nuts. Dh also has most of the symptoms. Which is probably why we get along so well, we understand each other. Not surprisingly, our youngest son, the only one that is genetically related to both of us, is autistic. It can make for entertaining conversations with his therapists. "What do you mean there is something "wrong" with smelling every object he picks up? Seems normal to me!" LOL

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I was dx'd when I was almost 40. Now 41. I, too, have a kid with Autism.

I was dx'd as "hyperactive" as a kid and put on Ritalin. clumsy - oh my, YES!
Social problems out the kazoo! I don't remember faces after about 2 weeks. I have freinds who will come up and talk to me and I have absolutley no idea who they are until their voice registers.

I didn't smell things as a kid but licked everything. Sticks, stones, cars... my mom kept gingin violet for me because of constant trench mouth! Lineing cars - ain't that normal? is to me.

flourescent lights drive me crazy. The dishwasher turns me into a monster! The sound causes me not to think and I really become strange. On edge, jumpy.

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Stacie, I hate the dishwasher too. Why does it have to be so LOUD? (and really, it's not, it doesn't bother anyone else in the house). The smelling is not something that stopped.......I still do it! I love candle stores, and bath product stores. Nobody looks at you funny if you are sniffing everything, because everyone else is too! LOL

Isn't it strange, you find all these things perfectly normal........then someone tells you they are NOT. But you've been doing them your whole life, so now what?

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Oh candle stores are awesome. I smell there and use a fingernail to scrape the wax on the candles I like the smell off. (gotta get my licks in!) ick, I know. I just can't help myself.

I don't know abuot the dishwasher and what to do with it. You are right, it bothers no one else.

do you have truoble with lighter colored walls? And the light bouncing off them? As a kid, I used to watch walls because of the colors the sunlight and lights in general make on them. I still find myself doing that.

I have a personal question... I hope you don't mind my asking. Do you S.I.B? If so, what? And do know why?

The sensitivies or lack of in my arms and legs has always caused me to brush with a hairbrush. Hard - untill I would "burn" them. I like the feel of the burn and of the scab healing. I don't even realize I'm doing it most of the time... don't leave a stray hairbrush around me! Other times I know I am and can't help it. It is like my ankle comes alive. Hard to describe.

oh well. I know other aspies who do the same sort of thing. Just curious.

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LOL! I've never tried licking candle wax, but it doesn't sound that odd to me. Kind of interesting, really. I'm not trying it though, the last thing I need is another stim. LOL

I'm sorry, but I'm not familiar with the abbreviation S.I.B. If you want to fill me in, I'll probably answer. I'm finding it so cool to find another mom like me to talk to, I'm willing to share.

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S.I.B. - self injurious behaviour.

headbanging, scratching, etc.

Did you you love to swing as a kid? I still do. Go to the park with the huge swings. And swing so hard.

have you ever tried some of the now common therapies? Like vitamins and suppliments, etc.

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Oh, ok, SIB. I'm familiar with the term, my brain just wasn't translating the abbreviation for some reason. I went through a phase of it as a teen, but I rarely, if ever, do it any more. I'm sorry, but that's probably the only phase of my life that I really do not feel comfortable sharing all the details about, so that's all I have to say right now. I did a LOT of crazy stuff, I learned from it, I've moved on. Currently, the closest I come is the compulsion I have to pick at any clogged pores, or little scabs I have. I know it's gross, but it's somehow satisfying.

Swinging, ohhhhhhhh I love it. My child has one of those big therapy net swings, right in the living room. One of my goals is to lose enough weight to use it myself, it looks SO fun! (it has a weight limit about 20lbs below where I am right now)

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I can understand that. I try not to consciously sib. I stop when I catch myself. And, yes, the teen years were worse for me. About 15-19 was terrible.

Those therapy swings are great! So are the therapy balls to bounce on. I like bouncing too! At age 9 I could bounce on a pogo-stick over 2,000 times without stopping. People used to count me bounce on the street! lol.

What type, if any, fabric or clothing bother you? Synthetics burn. I only wear cottons. Most other fabric really irrates me or smells bad. I can smell oil in some fabrics.

Do you have trouble with the textures of some foods? I have a very hard time with the pulp in fresh fruits. I can't eat it. But, I can drink juice with no pulp or eat fruit that has been cooked.

I wrote something on a board several years on tactile defensiveness, that a freind put on her web site. I'll copy to here if anyone is interested. ? It is about different tactile problems and how I have learned to adapt to the problems.

It is great chatting with other people who are going thru the same thing. It's nice not to be alone.

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I would love, love, love more info on tactile defensiveness. Aidan's not so bad about it, but Nick also has SID, which my mother (his legal guardian) has chosen not to do anything about, since it's on the mild side. He could probably use some at-home work though.

There are no particular fabrics that I don't like, but I do have to feel everything before I buy it. It just depends on each garment whether or not it's going to irritate me.

Food textures---the one that's coming to mind now is rice. If it has a really good flavor to it, I'll manage to eat it anyway, but plain white or brown rice? No way! Aidan is the same way with yogurt-- he doesn't like the texture, but if it's got a flavor he likes (particularly banana or cherry) he'll go for it. It's funny to watch him. He takes a bite, makes a horrible face, then begs for more. OTOH, I absolutely love the texture of pears, but I'm not that fond of the flavor. But I'll eat them, just for that slightly gritty texture! I know there are other foods I've sworn off because of the texture, but I can't think of any more examples right now.

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Sensory Experiences -- A personal story

I'm going to begin this with talking about "frustrations" and the physical bombardment which can manifest them. I know that you know about different senstivities, but I'm going to try and explain how this sensitivies effect the body and the mind.

Let pretend you are in a kitchen. You probably have a window, lighter colored walls and floors and a white fridge. All these lightly colored things reflect light. They create a beautiful array of colors as they "dance" off of your walls. Since most kids with autism have dialated pupils, which means they gather more light than what is considered "normal". Frustrations #1 "Don't you see the prism of colors and aren't you blinded?"

Now, you may have a dishwasher, microwave and a fridge. Did you know that standing beside a fridge is like being really close to a freight train? Microwaves are worse. And dishwashers sound like your in a war zone! Frustration #2: "Why doesn't all that noise bother you, it hurts me?"

Tactile: Did you know synthetic fibrac burns the skin? Did you relize that seems feel like razors? Frustration #3: "Get these closthes of me, I'm on fire!"

Internal: Can you hear the blood whooshing thru your head? Do your ears always ring? Can you feel your heart beat? Does everything you eat feel like a brick? Does milk make you feel drunk or goofy? Does your stomach itch and burn? Can you hear gunshots in your head? Do your arms and legs feel like jello?

Sometimes, you can block all of this out. By "stimming". I dislike that term. It is NOT a stimulatory activity but a very, very, very calming one on nerves that are totally frazled all of the time. "Please let me swing, or rock back and forth, flap my arms". "I can 'feel' my arms then." Please let me spin plates and car tires" Please let me line up my cars. There is no sensible order out there. I can't control anything. Please give me this". "Join me in this. I can see that I don't belong. Make me feel as if I do."

I really do not beleive "SIB's" are that at all. We don't want to hurt ourselves. "BUT DAMMIT-MY BODY HURTS". "CAN'T YOU MAKE THE LIGHTS NOT FLASH". "I'M TOTALLY CONFUSED BY ALL THE SWIRLS OF COLOR!" "WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME NO WHEN I HIT MY HEAD ON THE WALL, THE F...ING PAIN MOVES". You think you have a "temper tantrum". With the screaming and yelling , but you don't. You have a plea in the only way I can tell you. Please put me somewhere quiet, and somewhat dark!" "I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS CRAP! WHY DOESN'T THIS BOTHER YOU?" I wanna tell you what's going on with me, but somewhere between my brain and mouth it gets lost in the noise and color. "DAMMIT, I HATE THIS!"

Picture this bombardment constantly on your body and in it. It never stops, even at night when sleep is susposed to bring a peace to the body. What is peace?

Coping... This a hard one. This is a continual coping process. At 38, I reckon I have found a few ways. As, a teenager, once the initial surge of puberty hormones was over, I discovered that I had a bit more freedom to eat what I could handle. By this I mean no one would force me to eat fruit, fruit pulp gags me. I also learned that milk set in my stomach as a ton of bricks. So, I didn't eat those.

I learned as an adult to scatter brightly colored rugs around a light room. It really helps in obsorbing some of the brightness and reflections from the lighter walls and such.

I have discovered that my stomach/intestines feels better if I take a small amount of Vitamin A dialy. Along with my vitamins. I also have a lot less bowell trouble.

I have a great Psychiatrist who I have been going to since 1985! Sometimes I go more than at other times. He has helped me to learn about emotions other than happy/sad/angry sort of thing.

I also take St. Johns Wort herbal blend with Kava Kava, Gotu Kola, Ginsing, Ginger, Kelp. This helps me to remain more relaxed. If things get really bad, I keep a supply of Inderal (beta blocker) for heart palpitations and panic attacks. Which I do have on a regular basis.

I am also hypo-glycemic. And crave sugar to keep my blood sugars up. But, I do have a yeast problem with frequent yeast infections. Did you know that yeast infections burn in your entire gut? And make you silly?

As for the "SIB's" I still feel the need to sometimes just bang my head...but I don't. So I do allow myself to put on steel toed shoes and go outside and kick a tree. Other times I just jump up down or swing...

With my child if he stimms. That's ok. If he head bangs. That is ok too. I look at it as something the body needs to do. I just provide a way in which he will not injure himself. For example - if he does head bang I put a large over stuffed pillow between him and floor. He head will get the sensations of jarring but it won't get bruised. Sometimes, he used to poke his fingers into his eyes. I would give him a hand towell and show him how to put an even pressure on the eyes. Beleive this or not, it callms the eyes. I will also put him in a darker area.

He does from time to time throw raging fits. OK. these are fine too. I pick him and put him in his room. I turn of light. Put on some low "relaxation" cd's. He likes the ocean sounding one. I close his windows and curtains. He usually will not allow me comfort him. So, I allow him time to begin calming down. Once they begin to callm down from the bombardments they are more able to handle intervention by comforting, holding etc.

I hope some of this helps.

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I have an 8 yr old diagnosed with Aspergers. I am what Tony Atwood refers to as "adult recovered" aspie (I believe that i the term he uses- something like that, anyway). As a kid, I could have been diagnosed with Aspergers, but now I don't think I even could be diagnosed- even though some of the issues are still hanging about to a certain degree. One reason to consider diagnosis is services. You may be eligible for things like SSDI income or Medi-care coverage with a diagnosis.

My 9-year-old DS has Aspergers. My DH has it too (although never formally diagnosed). My FIL does as well, we are sure of it. I am about as neurotypical as you can get. I find the "issues" of my DH and son so hard to deal with sometimes, but I try to be compassionate and kind. Our marriage has been really, really tough. We're doing much better now but almost broke up 5 yrs ago). I've found that I need to do my own thing socially or I can't stand it. Namely, if DH wants to be a hermit and not leave the house, then I go places myself.

I can't use my dishwasher - they both can't stand it. DH needs to buy his own clothes because he only wants certain fabrics and brands. Neither of them can stand tags in their clothes - DH would rather destroy a garment removing a tag than wear it with the tag. I can't play my violin or viola when they're home either. My DS is so very clumsy, he can't even catch a ball or dribble a basketball.

If any of you have suggestions to help me, as a non-Aspie, deal with issues in a kind and constructive way, I'd love to hear it. It seems as if the Aspies in my house are wired to be so self-absorbed, and I give and give until there is nothing left of me. Hope that makes sense?

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Well, Aspies *are* sort of wired to be self absorbed. They don't naturally think about how things affect someone else, and it can be difficult for them to do that. Understanding that may help you, but it's not an excuse for them to just do what they want. They also need to learn to think about the others in their environment. Have you ever had a family meeting? Maybe a weekly family meeting would be a good way to deal with some of the ongoing issues? I think you need to talk about these issues that involve more than one person, and to come up with compromises that everyone can live with. If the dishwasher bothers them, maybe you can run it at night as you're going to bed? Maybe DH can take the kids to the park an afternoon a week so that you can play your music, etc.

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Well, yes, Aspies ARE wired to be self-absorbed.

Something to consider-- your dh and ds probably have a hard time reading your facial expressions and body language. I know that's a tough area for me. So you are thinking "well, they should know that I'm angry/sad/frustrated, just by the way I look and act!" But they very well might NOT! You need to tell them "I'm feeling X and I need you to do Y to help me" People with Aspergers are even LESS "mind readers" than neurotypical people. Even if they know what you are feeling, it may not occur to them what it is that YOU need to feel better. They may try what would work best for them........which may very well mean leaving you alone, which probably isn't what you want.

I think Khrisday has a great idea about the family meetings. Get it out in the open, spell out what your issues are, and brainstorm on what you all can do to resolve these issues. And it goes both ways. Get them communicating on what their issues are, and how you can resolve them.

And by all means, get out into social situations alone if you have to. I'm a lot more social than my husband, even though we are both Aspies. I don’t' necessarily know the right way to handle a social situation, but dangit, I want to get out there and try! So I do. And it's handy, really, if you think about it. You don't have to worry about getting a sitter, because your hubby is perfectly happy to sit at home and be a hermit with the kids!

And on some level, you've just got to accept that they are different. Pick your battles. Yes, the dishes MUST be cleaned. So offer a choice-- they can wash the dishes by hand, or they can go outside, or to the store, or as far away from the dishwasher as possible while you run it. But is it REALLY a big deal if they have to take the tags out of their clothes?

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I don't beat around the bush when talking to the guys in this house - I just say it directly. It's been hard making that transition. I am going to try a family meeting, but doubt my DH will meaningfully participate.

Of course, I have to accept that they are different. I know that. But you know what, this might sound heartless, but where is any acceptance for me and my needs? My child goes to his social skills group and to his counselor every single week - that involves dragging my 2 year old along, and DH won't leave the house to take him EVER - he just wants to be alone and do what HE wants to do. My DH not only did not mention Mother's Day yesterday, my family went out to dinner and he stayed home to change the oil in his truck.

I was just using the tags issue to illustrate the bigger picture - they have so many issues with textures from food to clothes, to everything, it is so hard to keep them happy and I'm getting weary of it. We don't have the money to buy the Aspies in this house every single thing their heart desires either. My DH and son have special interests in computers, and DH will buy stuff before I pay the bills and leave me short of money.

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My 6 yo DS was just recently academically diagnosed with AS (in July there will have testing done which will probably result in a medical diagnosis of AS).

Right now I'm going through the grieving process --- that I don't have a typical son. And I worry that my 10 month old DS has autism. I'm thinking about the road ahead.

If anyone has any recommended resources to share (books, websites), I'd greatly appreciate it as I am wanting to get more information.

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Saganaga, these will help:
The OASIS website: http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/

Here's a site with many links:
http://users.wpi.edu/~trek/aspergers.html

Asperger Syndrome Coalition of the US:
http://www.asperger.org/index_asc.html

You can also do a search for Yahoo Groups or Delphi Forums on Aspergers - there is a very good forum connected with the OASIS website listed above.

HUGS

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Thank you guys for this! My child was dx ADHD this school year after last year dx'd with depression. So much of what you guys are talking about SING at me! I never thought anything about it could be anythign else till DS's IEP meeting today and they were ready to say there is nothing we can do till we started compairing notes and putting some peices together and 3 of them said 'Aspergers' at the same time. Not saying he has it, but it makes so much sense. The website links are also helping give me some other ideas for how to deal with DS. Everything we have tried in the past hasn't worked and it does make sense based on what I have read today. LOL- I have read so much my head is spinning. He is meeting with the new psychiatrist tomorrow- I will definately bring it up.
Now, to get DH tested... lol.

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I was wondering if any of you have tried any diet changes to help alliviate AS syptoms. Any positive results?
We've just started the Feingold diet & I'm looking into a wheat or dairy free diet.

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I just want to jump in here if that's ok, I have two cousins with autism and aspergers and I think I have some pretty bad sensory issues. Smells and sounds bother me that don't bother anyone else. Tags, jewelry and my hair bother me immensly. My mom use to get highly annoyed that I had to have the creases in my socks straight or I wouldn't let her put my shoes on, this at 3 years old.

My dh wears 2 different socks or one inside out and it drives me NUTS!!! One night in bed I asked him to get me socks because my feet were cold and I heard him at the drawer giggling. I yelled, YOU BETTER GEt ME MATCHING SOCKS, he was laughing contemplating getting me two diff socks.

I had an extremely difficult time nursing because people touching me bothers me sometimes. I could go on and on. I know I don't have aspergers, but could I join this thread for support?
Corrie

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just poking in....

maybe some of you moms can help this mom....sort of an allied question to your thread...

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=149349

tracy

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I'm 29. I haven't been formally diagnosed but doing all the research into my child's AS I kept finding how it described *me*. I'd always wondered what was "wrong" with me and now I know. :)

I cannot hold a conversation. I never know what to say. And when I do say something it's so far off tangent of whatever we may have been talking about.. I get lots of strange looks. lol I will never understand small talk, or skirting around the truth. Phrasing things tactfully. Waaaay beyond me!!

I also have the hardest time recognizing faces! It's so embarrassing and stressful. I can talk to someone for twenty minutes, and ten minutes later I wouldn't recognize them in passing. I have to remember clothes or hairstyle or a purse they are carrying or something..

I'm so glad to have found some Aspies!!

Erica
Mama to Ethan 7 AS
and Willow 4

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I'm a self-diagnosed Aspie. My official dx, years ago, was ADHD, but in comparing the 2, while there are a lot of similarites, the Aspergers symptoms fit me better. Sometimes it's fun.....it doesn't take much to amuse me, give me some kind of toy with a texture to it, and I'm busy for awhile. Somtimes it sucks......the clumsiness and social problems drive me nuts. Dh also has most of the symptoms. Which is probably why we get along so well, we understand each other. Not surprisingly, our youngest son, the only one that is genetically related to both of us, is autistic. It can make for entertaining conversations with his therapists. "What do you mean there is something "wrong" with smelling every object he picks up? Seems normal to me!" LOL
LOL I know! I drive my husband crazy when I find some little knick knack I have to have because I crave the color or the texture or just *something*.

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Eep! I totally forgot about this thread! Anyways I've been doing more research and I firmly believe that I do in fact have Aspergers. Actually I really have no doubt. It really explains alot about my kidhood and who I am today.

Does anyone else have a problem with empathy? I was telling my DH last night that I don't 'get' other people's problems. When someone is upset about something I am usually thinking about how it will affect me. It makes it very hard in parenting because when the kids need something or are upset about something that is infringing on 'my territory' (so to speak) I get really upset and cannot understand their side at all. It really makes DH mad and I can see it is starting to upset my child too. I AM trying but its hard.

I can so relate to all the stuff you've said. It would take me ages to list all my 'quirks' but a few noteable ones you've mentioned
- Noise. I can't stand little noises. I will lay awake at night panicking if there is water dripping off the eavestrough outside. My husband likes to have music playing all the time and it drives me nuts. I often have to turn it off and it makes him mad but I just can't take little noises. When I was younger we had a fish tank in the living room and I had to have the tv on full blast because all I could hear was the damn fish tank! I have to sleep with white noise because every little noise drives me nuts.
-People touching me. Sometimes I just can't stand to be touched! It makes it really hard with parenting because there are times when I have to forcefully push the kids off me and it makes them cry but I literally cannot stand to be touched sometimes. It makes my skin crawl. Lots of stuff makes my skin crawl.
SIB - From about age 12 to age 20 I was a cutter. I would cut my body with razor blades or knifes. Especially when I was upset about something. I stopped 6 months after my marriage when an incident occurred where my husband and I were in a big fight and I got really upset and went out to the living room (it was about 1 am) and started cutting my arms. He caught me and threatened to take me to the psych ward if I did it again. I still have to struggle not to do it.

There are so many other issues I couldn't discuss them all. Just a couple of other questions. Does anyone else have problems with telling too much personal information? I seem to say totally inappropriate things in social settings and I don't realize it until I really sit and think about it. It is really embarrassing. How do you do with making friends? I don't really have any. I have two - one from highschool and one from college but we don't live near each other, only talk on the phone usually. I have started many friendships since the kids were born, we'd make playdates but after a few times they don't want to get together with me anymore. I really don't understand what I'm doing wrong.

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I have the opposite problem with empathy. Sometimes I put myself in someone else's shoes too well. I over empathise. I also lose myself in other people's emotions. Most of the time I don't know what's mine and what is someone else's. But there are oftentimes when I too don't understand other's people's problems. It's not until the conversation is over and they've left that it hits me what they were trying to say and then it's too late.

Noise- noise really bothers me. Especially my child's vocal stims. I cannot concentrate and get completely overwhelmed trying to listen to someone speaking over any sort of noise-especially tv, radio or a/c units. I lose it when there is too much competing noise and it all gets jumbled. My husband can read a book while watching tv and listening to the radio while holding a conversation with me. That drives me absolutely to meltdown. It feels like being in a vaccuum.

People touching me-I have this too. I hate light touches, I have to rub them away. I like firm, hard squeezy touches. They help relax me. A stray hair on my skin somewhere overwhelms me and I MUST get it off. I can't concentrate on anything else but that hair.

SIB- I haven't given in to this urge in a long time. I too was a scraper (scraped until I bled) and a cutter. There was a time a year ago I had a complete meltdown and all I wanted to do was punch this bathroom mirror and use the pieces to cut my wrists. It obsessed me and it took all I had to fight it. I just wanted the emotional pain to stop, and physical pain heals..

I am totally the open book! It drives me very proper and 'hip' neighbor and perfect strangers to distraction. I've tried to learn from her about what is appropriate to share, how to phrase it.. I just don't get it.. How do you do small talk?

What you said about having friends sounds just like what I've gone through. I see people hanging out with GROUPS of friends. They have several friends that they are close to and they hang out. I never had that. I have acquaintances, or people who like that I'm kinda quirky and strange, but they aren't friends. We don't hang out or share our lives together.. I've kinda resolved myself to not ever understanding or having that.. I also sabotage things like that when I do get it. There have been several times that someone has tried to get close and it stressed and worried me so much to have to keep up the "normal" that I eventually just let them wander away to search somewhere else.. I get in my "wanna be alone" zone and it could last a day or weeks and NT's don't get that..

::hug I'm so glad to find I'm not alone!

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dropping in on your thread...looking for a little help

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?p=1749136#post1749136


tracy

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my child has as. i suspect i do as well.

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I see myself a little in this thread, I always thought I was shy and quirky :LOL. I can't hold a conversation about anything really unless it's the kids. Maybe I am just out of the loop who knows.

My ds does the licking of things, I mean everything. He will lick dirty windows, cars, the floor, rocks, the worst one is when he picks up tossed out gum on the ground and puts it in his mouth :gross. We have tried to tell him it's dirty but it doesn't get through. I personally have always thought he had adhd/odd, we are getting him evaluated soon.

Noise doesn't bother him, he actually seems to crave loud things. If the microwave is on he has to be right infront of it. The tv has to be very loud, the computer volume when he plays a game has to be loud. He talks and yells very loudly. I on the other hand can't stand all the noise! I can handle the dishwasher being on but loud voices, tv etc drive me bonkers. It makes my head hurt and I can't think at all.

If I'm trying to type something important out for dh's work I can't have anyone talking to me, the kids have to be quiet in another room. I freak out and lose my train of thought and I can't even type at all.

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The other parent
Hi, I am new to this forum. But with good intention, and wonder. I maybe adopting a kid who could have Autism. The father of the kid has mild Aspergers. Does anyone know how likely the kids chances are of being autistic?

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ShaggyDaddy
wow, a very old thread with a new question.

It has been proven that Autistic parents have a higher chance of having autistic kids. It is heavily debated, but statistically a kid has a greater chance of being Autistic if 1) he is a boy, and 2) if he has autistic people in his genetic line.

For instance, in my family: Me, my brother, my mother, my father, my child and some of my nephews all have forms of Autism. Only some of the women in my family are affected, but almost all of the boys are. 

This is of course anecdotal, but in general Autism is genetic and it is more frequent in boys.

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Since autism is more rare in girls (or is it really? Or does it just present differently?) are your chances for another kid with autism raised if you have a female kid with ASD?

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Since autism is more rare in girls (or is it really? Or does it just present differently?) are your chances for another kid with autism raised if you have a female kid with ASD?

good point, I did not specify.. boys are more likely to be diagnosed, not necessarily more often autistic.

The genetic research is very incomplete and there is really only theory at this point. Really anything anyone says is anecdotal at this point.

But to speak to the question to is he going to be autistic... the answer is nobody can really know.

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Hi, I am new to this forum. But with good intention, and wonder. I maybe adopting a kid who could have Autism. The father of the kid has mild Aspergers. Does anyone know how likely the kids chances are of being autistic?

Autistics are more likely to have autistic kids, but of course not always. Research is inconclusive. Anecdotally, my father was (undx'ed) autistic; he had a neurotypical son and an autistic daughter (me). I have, of my biological kids, one autistic girl, one very neurotypical boy, and one possible/maybe/likely autistic girl. My neurotypical brother has an autistic daughter as well.

So, you should probably keep in mind the possibility...

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From my own observations, experience and research... it really just seems to be much more difficult to diagnose in females. A lot of it seems to be a difference between external and internal expression... if that makes sense. IE, males are more likely to act their frustrations out, while females are more likely to internalize it. Hopefully that doesn't sound offensive, I'm usually the very LAST person to make gender distinctions, but that really seems to be the case.

As far as the original question goes, I just don't think there would be any way to know at this point. How old is the kid?

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Brigianna-- You posted while I was typing. :)

I would just like to say... I am in love with your senior title!!!!

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From my own observations, experience and research... it really just seems to be much more difficult to diagnose in females. A lot of it seems to be a difference between external and internal expression... if that makes sense. IE, males are more likely to act their frustrations out, while females are more likely to internalize it.

This is certainly anecdotally true in my family.


Brigianna-- You posted while I was typing. :)

I would just like to say... I am in love with your senior title!!!!
:lol thanks... most people don't get it.

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Hi, I am Sheila, new to this board but not to MDC.... my 12 year old son was Diagnosed with aspergers (sp?) 2 months ago. My 6 year old son is being tested now (thru the school) . My Dh has not been diagnosed I don't think he would go for the testing but I am about 100% sure he has it... I think he has some other issues as well- maybe depression... and anger issues. He totally can't read clues. He is a very challenging man to be with. We alsomost split up last year and in a lot of ways I kind of wish we had gone thru with it.

Anyway- about the dishwasher- we got one with a timer feature and I can set it to go on in the middle of the night when I am sound asleep, it is great! I don't know what I've got but the dishwasher, floresecent lights kill me!!! I especilly hate the lawn mower and the snow blower and the way my Dh starts adn stops them each like a million times. Each start and stop feels like an ice pick tp the head...

I am glad to have found this forum. I have 3 kids, all with differnt things going on... Oldest DS (12)with Aspergers and disgrphia (illegible hand writing at age 12) middle kid (DS age 6) had speach delays and he has something going on, so I am glad they are testing him and my DDd is 2 and she freaks out in stores, has to be carried all the time- at 30 lbs! And she has sensory issues as well as being non verbal. She gets help from Birth-3.

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I don't know what I've got but the dishwasher, floresecent lights kill me!!! I especilly hate the lawn mower and the snow blower and the way my Dh starts adn stops them each like a million times. Each start and stop feels like an ice pick tp the head...

Fluorescent lights....the ones with the electronic ballast are MUCH better than the old kind. They are coming out with more of the electronic ballast kind now. The old kind, in addition to the annoying flicker, also emits high levels of electromagnetic radiation...some of us can feel that.

Lawn mower... DH has a cordless electric kind. MUCH quieter, and the sounds are at a somewhat higher frequency, than the loud gas-powered ones, especially w/ the house windows shut. Now if I could only get all the neighbors to use an electric one, too :p When we had a smaller yard, we had a push reel mower. Now THAT was great, it sounded like a librarian... "shhh, shhh, shhh..."

How to Live With Aspergers: A Message to Aspergers Teens

Are you a teenager with Aspergers?  Then this message is for YOU:

Living with Aspergers has been described as being born on the wrong planet, because people diagnosed with this disorder have to learn to live with “Neuro-Typicals” (i.e., people who do not have Aspergers). Those with this syndrome display intense interests at the cost of socialization skills.

Here are some tips on how to develop social skills:

1. Consult a psychologist, licensed social worker or a psychiatrist to learn more about Aspergers. As therapists they develop a treatment plan to assist with daily living.

2. Use the treatment plan to develop social skills. Some of the things practiced may include how to converse with people in different social situations.

3. Learn when it is appropriate to touch people. Practice what you learned and try to follow the treatment plan recommendations.

4. Learn which specific aspects of Aspergers give you the most trouble, and try to work around them.

5. Try to behave in a manner that is seen as acceptable. Allow enough of your uniqueness through to intrigue people, but try to keep most of it under control.

6. Talk “with” people – don't "talk at" them. A good ratio in a one on one conversation is to listen about 60% of the time and talk about 30%. Try not to talk for more than five to ten minutes at a time. Let the other person, or people, set the pace of the conversation.

7. Memorize people's behavior when they are distressed. Ask friends how actions may have caused distress. Ask friends how to prevent causing distress in the future.

8. Join some clubs that feature activities of interest. People with Aspergers tend to be interested in a few narrow activities, and uninterested in anything outside of them.

9. Maintain eye contact, but do not stare. The best way to achieve eye contact is to look at their left eye briefly and then shift to their right eye.

10. Remember, some agencies have special social and support groups for people with Aspergers. Look around to see if there is one around you and join one! This will give you a safe place to make friends and learn social skills.

More Tips—
  • Do not discuss sensitive topics. Again the treatment plan will discuss how to approach sensitive issues.
  • Learn to play cards, chess, or other popular games, and join people who can play them.
  • Find someone to tutor you in a game.
  • Practice social skills while learning how to play the game.
  • Learn how to "lose" a game in such a way that it is not obvious that it was intentional.
  • People may sometimes think you are lying, even when you are being truthful. The best way to avoid this is to always tell the truth to the best of your ability. For example, if you do not know the correct answer to a question, respond accordingly.
  • Since you don't always pick up cues about other people's feelings, it's smart to ask if they are interested or have time to listen before you launch into an involved discussion of your favorite topic.
  • When someone is talking about a problem in their life, they don't necessarily want to know how to solve it, even if you have the answer. Instead, ask them how they feel about the situation or what they have already tried or are considering. Asking lets them know you care and respects their ability to solve their own problems.

Good luck! You can do it!! I’ve got faith in you!!!

Paxil for Treating Aspergers Symptoms?

Question

My 14 y.o. daughter was prescribed Paxil for anxiety prior to receiving an Aspergers diagnosis. She has taking the meds for about 6 months and the dosage has been increased from 20 to 30 mg. She has become increasingly verbally abusive outside the home to authority figures and was hospitalized for suicidal ideas recently. The doctor at the hospital suggested we change her medication, however her outpatient doctor has "no problem" with Paxil, should I get a second opinion?

Answer

I would definitely get a second opinion (preferably from a Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist with experience in working specifically with Aspergers individuals). Paxil is used to treat depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, and premenstrual dysphoric disorder. Now that your daughter has the diagnosis of Aspergers, other treatment methods should come into play, for example, cognitive-behavioral therapy, parent education and training, social skills training, and educational interventions.

My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns in Aspergers Children/Teens

Crucial Strategies for Parents of Challenging Kids on the Autism Spectrum

    Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum :   ==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children ...