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Depression in Older Teens and Young Adults with ASD

Question

Any info to help w/22 yr. old (recently diagnosed) college grad--floundering, drinking, depressed; appears high functioning, but truly isn’t... His father has asperger traits as well.

Answer

When diagnosis of the adult ASD (high-functioning autism) occurs, it is often as a result of a child being assessed with the disorder. It then becomes apparent to other family members that the un-diagnosed adult they have struggled for so long - to understand or relate to - also has the disorder.

When an adult is diagnosed with ASD as a result of a child within the extended family being diagnosed, it can come as a "double whammy" to the family. This is particularly the case when a child and a spouse are diagnosed, since the remaining member of the family group is now in the position of dealing with two people on the spectrum in the one home. 
 

Similarly, the diagnosis of a child may make the parent twig that one of the parents had the disorder too. This also causes intense personal suffering for the person concerned since finding out that one's parent has the disorder will open as many wounds as it will explain.

The problems in dealing with adult autism sufferers can be numerous, and include:
  • A sense of frustration that you cannot "get through" to this person
  • A sense of hopelessness that the person doesn't love you
  • Depression related to the knowledge that the individual won't get better
  • Difficulties accepting that the partner has the condition
  • Failure to understand why the person cannot relate to you in a "normal" manner
  • Feeling overly responsible for the person
  • Feeling a need to constantly explain their inappropriate behaviors and comments to others
  • A feeling of trepidation due to the effect of this constant vigilance
  • If the adult Asperger is a marriage partner, concerns over whether to stay in the relationship are at times overwhelming
  • Lack of intimacy in the relationship and a failure to have your own needs met
  • Lack of emotional support from family and friends who do not understand the condition

There is less information on ASD in adulthood. Most people with mild autism are able to learn to compensate. They become indistinguishable from everyone else. They marry, hold a job and have children. Other people live an isolated existence with continuing severe difficulties in social and occupational functioning.

People on the spectrum often do well in jobs that require technical skill but little social finesse. Some do well with predictable repetitive work. Others relish the challenge of intricate technical problem solving.

I knew a man, now deceased, who had many of the characteristics of Aspergers. He lived with his mother and had few social contacts. When he visited relatives, he did not seem to understand how to integrate himself into their household routine. When the relatives would explain the situation to him, he was able to accept it. However, he was unable to generalize this to similar situations. Although he was a psychologist, his work involved technical advisory work, not face-to-face clinical sessions. 
 
Summary of interventions:
  • Adults may benefit from group therapy or individual behavioral therapy.
  • Some speech therapists have experience working with grown-ups on pragmatic language skills.
  • Behavioral coaching, a relatively new type of intervention, can help the adult with ASD organize and prioritize his daily activities.
  • Adults may need medication for associated problems such as depression or anxiety.
 
It is important to understand the needs and desires of that particular adult. Some grown-ups do not need treatment. They may find jobs that fit their areas of strength. They may have smaller social circles, and some idiosyncratic behaviors, but they may still be productive and fulfilled.

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
 
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Problems with Sensory Overload

My children (3 teens---2 still at home--plus a 3-yr-old) all have Asperger's. They have the disability as well as dealing with others (including one parent) who also have Asperger's. As a result, people are oversensitive to sensory input and comments and, of course, go from 0 to 100 in seconds. I have a great deal of difficulty heading off the mood escalations and defusing the situation once it has started. I need any suggestions for quicker resolution, etc. that will help us function more effectively. 
 
CLICK HERE for the full article...

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ASD and Relationship Difficulties

ASD level 1 (high-functioning autism) often leads to problems in social interaction with peers. These problems can be severe or mild depending on the individual. Kids with ASD are often the target of bullying at school due to their idiosyncratic behavior, precise language, unusual interests, and impaired ability to perceive and respond in socially expected ways to nonverbal cues, particularly in interpersonal conflict. 
 
CLICK HERE for the full article...
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ASD and "Problems with Balance"

Question

My [high functioning autistic] child has great difficulty with balance – is this a normal trait or something else?

Answer

Both ASD (high-functioning autism) and Sensory Integration Dysfunction often go hand in hand. It is common to hear that a child with the disorder also has difficulty with balance and other gross motor skills, fine motor skills, and unusual tolerance (or intolerance) to sounds, lights, smells, and touch. 
 
 These complaints cause as much of a problem for children with ASD as the actual language, communication, and social weaknesses that are a direct result of Autism Spectrum Disorder.

There are therapies that address the symptoms of autism and sensory issues. However, there are activities you can do at home with your child that will help develop sensory integration. There are separate sensory systems that create a person’s sensory profile. Here is a list of these sensory areas:
 
  • Fine motor skills are necessary for grasping, writing, tying shoes, and working buttons and zippers. These skills include all physical skills related to the strength and control of the small muscles of the body.
  • Gross motor skills are necessary for walking, kicking, jumping, and coordination. These skills include all physical skills related to the strength and control of the large muscle groups of the body.
  • Proprioception is the ability to properly use the big muscles and joints of the body.
  • Tactile is the ability to properly interpret touch.
  • Vestibular is the ability to balance, body movement, and knowing where your body is in relation to space. Closely related, but not exactly sensory systems, these skill areas are often incorporated during occupational/sensory therapies.

When working with children on tne autism spectrum and sensory issues, keep in mind that many physical play activities can be adapted to your home therapy program. Sensory therapy should look like play and it should be fun. Here are some activities you can try, along with the sensory systems each activity will benefit:

Proprioceptive—

• Encourage pushing or pulling heavy weight, such as a basket of books or toys.
• Have the child jump into a foam pit or onto a padded mat.
• Have the child jump on a trampoline.

Vestibular—

• Have the child walk on a balance beam
• Push the child on a swing.

Tactile—

• Have a finger painting session.
• Mash and roll out Play-Doh.
• Play catch by tossing a textured, weighted ball.
• Use mud, pudding, or shaving cream to play in with hands and feet.

There are many books and videos that can help you develop a home play therapy plan for your child with ASD and sensory issues. One such guide is the video entitled, “Learn to Move, Move to Learn, Dinosaurs” by Jenny Clark Brack. This video is a theme-based lesson geared towards young children.

 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
 
 
 COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said... my 9yo runs kinda like a thunderbird and falls over quite a bit,but he learnt to ride a bike without trainers at 3 and he now races motocross.he's not brilliant but he is obsessed with it and never gives up.as for getting lost he panics if we go for a ride or drive through the forrest,even if we drive into the city we have to show him the route on a map before we go .
•    Anonymous said... my 10 yr old has trouble with balance. He runs too fast for his feet and falls alot. He does have some of the limbs flailing around but he doesn't seem to care and neither do I. As long as he is having fun thats all that matters. We are both aware that he will not be joing any professional sport teams and we are ok with that. He just runs for fun. He has not gotten the bike down yet .
•    Anonymous said... My son is 14 and rides a bike with training wheels. Seems to be hard to keep balance as well. He is clumsy and trips over his feet at times. He seems to lack the natural response to put your hands out to catch yourself when going to fall or trip.
•    Jane … Yes yes and yes...my son is like a limp noodle half of the time (and a spinning top the other half) and every day at least falls, trips, knocks something over or drops something at least once! They are klutzes, but there are medical reasons. Mine just had a behavior problem from frustration with a balancing task in gym but once I explained this, now he's going to put in a specialized gym class and getting a physical therapy eval as well! Ask about these at school, they're his right legally.

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Is there any method I can use during the meltdowns...?

Question

I have three teenagers on the autism spectrum and my spouse does also. Needless to say, our home is stressful at least once a day---usually more---every day. The conflict upsets our preschooler and leaves me in the middle to maintain peace and order. It is challenging to keep them from misreading, reacting to, and feeding off of each others' moods/verbalizations. Is there any method I can use during the meltdowns, especially if I come in when it's already angry and chaotic? I've tried getting them to separate and cool off, but they seem locked into engaging with each other. And, if I leave the room or the house I often end up with holes punched in walls, broken items, etc.

Answer

The parent’s behavior can influence a meltdown’s duration, so always check your response first:
  1. Calm down
  2. Quiet down
  3. Slow down
  4. Prioritize safety
  5. Re-establish self-control in your son/daughter, then deal with the issue

1. Take 3 slow, deep breaths, and rather than dreading the meltdown that’s about to take place, assure yourself that you’ve survived meltdowns 100 times before and will do so this time too.

2. Keep your speaking voice quiet and your tone neutrally pleasant. Don’t speak unnecessarily. Less is best. Don’t be “baited” into an argument. Often ASD (high-functioning autistic) kids seem to “want” to fight. They know how to “push your buttons,” so don’t be side-tracked from the meltdown issue. 
 

3. Slow down. A meltdown often occurs at the most inconvenient time (e.g., rushing out the door to school). The extra pressure the fear of being late creates adds to the stress of the situation. ASD kids respond to "referred mood" and will pick up on your stress. This stress is then added to their own. So forget the clock and focus on the situation. 
 
Make sure the significant people in your life know your priorities here. Let your boss know that your youngster has meltdowns that have the capacity to bring life to a standstill, and you may be late. Let your youngster's teacher know that if he or she is late due to a meltdown -- it’s unavoidable, and he or she shouldn’t be reprimanded for it.

4. Prioritize safety when your child is having a meltdown. Understand that he can be extremely impulsive and irrational at this time. Don’t presume that the safety rules he knows will be utilized while he is "melting down." Just because your youngster knows not to go near the street when he is calm doesn’t mean he won’t run straight into 4 lanes of traffic when he is having a meltdown. 
 
 
If your child starts melting down when you’re driving in the car, pull over and stop. If he tends to “flee” when melting down, don’t chase him. This just adds more danger to the situation. Tail him at a safe distance, and maintain visual contact.

5. When your youngster is calm and has regained self-control, she will often be exhausted. Keep that in mind as you work through the meltdown issue. Reinforce to your youngster the appropriate way to express her needs and requests.

Remember that all behavior is a form of communication, so try to work out the message your son or daughter is trying to convey with his or her meltdown, rather than responding and reacting to the behavior displayed.

Note: A meltdown is not the same as a tantrum. Tantrums are caused by kids not getting their own way and then "acting out" in order to try and get what they want. A meltdown is often triggered by sensory overload (e.g., hypersensitivity to noise, light, heat, etc.). This leaves them feeling irritable, agitated, and stressed. 
 

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
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A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...
 
 
Comments:

Anonymous said...Thanks Mark -I have actually joined because I have a 12 year old nephew who has Asperger's and he is so full of anger. I really feel that alot of it is caused by his Dad (my brother) and his Mum not handling the situation very well. They talk about punishing him and he has to realise that he cannot behave the way he does when he swears at them and tells them that he hates them etc. I feel that alot of this would be helped if he had plently of exercise. He is a very active boy and loves the outdoors but they are always busy and he seems to spend most of his time inside. He is on the school bus at 7.30 a.m. and doesn't get home until 5 p.m. He is then inside, although he lives in the country. He desperately wants a small pond or water trough for his birthday and they won't let him, no explanation, just that they don't want one, which has really made him angry as he has no real reason why. If I am honest they frustrate the hell out of me and I'm 43!!! I don't know how they will react to your CD's but I can only try. I feel like I am watching an animal being cruely treated and it kills me. Unfortunately the Mum is jealous that he behaves more when he is with me and my husband but that is only because we are outdoors people and he loves it, but she stops him from seeing us. Anyway, watch this space!!! Thanks - Angie

Anonymous said...One of the difficult things, though, is although the meltdown is not JUST about getting his way (i.e., a simple tantrum), it is often precipitated by a parent saying no to something, or other frustration of his desires. The fuel may be all the other stresses and frustrations, but the match is a parent not allowing something he wants, or requesting he do something he doesn't want to do. So from our viewpoint, it often *feels* like a tantrum and direct challenge to our authority, although our son will (when he's calmed down) insist that it was not.
 
Anonymous said...What has worked for us during a meltdown is telling him that he is not allowed to punch the walls or break anything. We make him go to a certain room in the house until he calms down. We take turns supervising him so he doesn't hurt himself and so wee each get a break. We let him hit only pillows on the couch but am trying to get him to stop that. It is best not to talk to him during these meltdowns, anything we say makes it worse and it usually is over within an hour. We have his favorite TV show on during the meltdowns which helps him get his mind off whatever was bothering him.
 
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