How can I teach empathy to my child with Aspergers?

One of the most common areas of weakness mentioned to me by moms and dads is empathy. Aspergers causes an individual to lack empathy. Showing emotions and acknowledging another person's feelings are very important skills. Without empathy, a person is seen as cold and unfeeling, therefore making it difficult to develop personal relationships with others.

If you were to complete an Internet search on empathy and Aspergers, you would find a topic that is very well covered. This weakness is quite well-known. The problem lies within the inability to determine another individual's feelings, more so than an actual inability to feel. Once your child becomes aware of another person's feelings, he is likely quite capable in showing empathy of a variety of emotions. The key to teaching empathy is helping him learn to understand and recognize other people's true feelings and emotions.

As a parent, you should definitely teach empathy. Aspergers doesn't eliminate the desire to learn, even though it can make it a bit difficult. Here are some ideas you can use to help your child develop a healthier emotional outlook.

• Social stories can be used to teach a variety of skills. You can purchase books of social stories or create your own personal versions. Feel free to make some of them silly and fun, while others are more sad and serious.

• Occupational and Speech/language therapy practice at home is important to your child's development. Make sure you are meeting with his therapists regularly and working on the goals that help with empathy: sensory issues, social cues and language, and pretend-play, to name a few.

• Social skills groups/classes can be found through your child's school, doctor's office, or your local Autism support group. Good social skills will automatically enhance your child's empathy. If you cannot find a social skills group for your child, speak with the special education department at his school for tips you can use at home. Better yet, convince them of the need to start a social skills group at school, complete with peer buddies. (Peer buddies are neuro-typical classmates who have a desire to help with the challenges some of the special needs students face at school.)

• Video, peer, and self-modeling are all good ways to teach empathy. Using videos, your child can learn to connect feelings by watching facial expressions while listening to the conversations that take place. Once a video has been implemented, bringing in a peer to help re-create the video will bring about a new dimension. Likewise, have your child use a mirror to see different facial expressions while talking about their meanings. Seeing, hearing, and doing will help your child make important connections that will stick with him.

While planning to assist a youngster by teaching empathy, Aspergers specialists and moms and dads must also balance the need for good communication skills. Social cues and gestures are an important part of emotional connection. A good speech/language therapist can help your child learn better social skills and empathy by improving his verbal and nonverbal language skills.

My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns

Aspergers Children: Emotions and Being Silly

It can be very difficult for a youngster with Aspergers to control his impulses and regulate his emotions. Hyperactivity, dulled responses, anxiety, and sensory meltdowns are all common occurrences and can seriously interfere with the ability to stay on task.

The symptoms and characteristics of Aspergers vary widely from person to person. Self-regulation may always be an issue with which your child struggles. However, as he continues to grow and learn, his responses may improve dramatically. Here are some things you can do now to help him find a balance and that will allow him to better self-regulate his emotions.

The first step to learning self regulation is to know what triggers certain negative responses. For instance, if play time with loud music and bright lights brings on unmanageable hyperactivity, this could mean that there is a sensory overload happening. By simply changing play time to a calmer, quieter atmosphere, you can change the behavior, which will improve attitudes for the activities that come after play time. This is not to say that loud music and bright lights should always be eliminated. It just means that the situation that follows the loud music and bright lights needs to be assessed to avoid these emotional difficulties. Dealing with sensory overload while taking a test, for example, is very unpleasant.

Here are some additional ideas that can help your child learn to self regulate:

• Cognitive-behavioral therapy
• Medications may be needed in some cases. Anti-anxiety drugs, mood stabilizers, and ADHD drugs are commonly used in various combinations to help kids with Aspergers find balance and calmness.
• Occupational therapy can help your child (and you) learn tips and techniques that will help relieve sensory overload. Something as simple as joint compressions and get your child back on task quickly and quietly.

If your child has great difficulty regulating his emotions and actions, it is a good idea to begin with medical and psychological examinations. Your child's medical team can then come up with a medical plan and therapies suited specifically for his needs.

My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns

Can my son with ASD truly understand love?

"My son is 8 yrs old. He is fairly high functioning. Here's the problem. I don't feel like he loves me. Can he truly understand love at all. He does not hug, kiss or cuddle. He never has. He likes to have his back scratched at night, but that's it. He struggles emotionally at school- a lot of anger. But at home you would notice anything out of the ordinary. He has no problems sharing emotions with his father who lives outside of the home. How can I help him to open up to me?!"

 

 

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Meltdowns and Punishment

One of the most important things to realize is that meltdowns are part of the Aspergers (high functioning autism) condition. Children on the autism spectrum can't avoid them. The best parents can do is try to reduce the damage.

==> Here's how...

Shutdowns: A Specific Type of Meltdown

"Are shutdowns actually avoidance behavior, in other words, the child is simply trying to get out of doing something uncomfortable? And how is it different than a meltdown? I'm not sure exactly where to draw the line between intentional and involuntary acts with my 10 y.o. (high-functioning)." 

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