Do you have tips for toilet training a young child with Asperger’s?

Question

Do you have tips for toilet training a young child with Asperger’s?

Answer

Toilet training your child with Asperger’s will most likely be difficult for you as a parent. If you have potty trained an older child, you will find this experience likely to be very different. Methods that work with some children are typically based on a child’s desire to please the parent and often based on a reward system. Many parents have relied heavily on ‘the M&M method’ or the ‘shoot the Cheerios in the bowl’ trick. These are not typically effective with children with Asperger’s, as children with Asperger’s don’t tend to have the same desire to please and have a more difficult time changing behaviors.

With children with Asperger’s, it can be effective to try to change only one behavior at a time. Concentrate on teaching a child to either pee or poop in the potty, not both at the same time. Watch your child to see if you see signs that your child is aware of needing to use the toilet. If he is aware of his need, it is time to start training.

Many parents find Social Stories helpful during potty training. These are short, pictorial guides designed to storyboard the potty process. Talking through these with your child can help familiarize him with the process of using the toilet. These stories should contain information about feeling the need to use the potty through flushing the toilet and washing your hands. You will need to repeat these Social Stories often, and understand that the potty training process take some time.

Establish a routine around using the potty for your child. This will help the child with Asperger’s feel more comfortable with the toilet training process. Look to see if your child has any fears about using the potty that need to be addressed. Look to see if your child has a degree of comfort and ability in manipulating his own clothing. Can he pull down his own pants? Can he work the button or snap on his pants? If he is comfortable with these things, use them in helping him establish his potty routine.

Maria Wheeler has created a good book on toilet training called, “Toilet Training for Individuals with Autism & Related Disorders.” This comprehensive toilet training guide contains two hundred toilet training tips and over forty case studies with solutions. Reading this book will give you not only helpful tips, but also some real life examples of how those tips worked for people.

Aspergers Children and Gym Class

It is quite likely that kids with Aspergers will start gym classes just as any other normal kid would, that is with enthusiasm and expectations, but it is important to be careful while mixing gym class and Aspergers together in order to ensure that the experience does not become an uncomfortable one for the youngster with Aspergers.

The problems that an Aspergers youngster may have in gym classes may be related to a number of problems that they face due to their unfortunate disorder, like impaired motor skills which make it difficult for them to take quick instructions or make quick movements and thereby to play baseball, soccer or any other physically demanding sports. A gymnasium can be loud and the confusing commotion created there in combination with the players and students yelling and the coach blowing in his whistle can be devastating for certain Aspergers youngster as they are sometimes super-sensitive to noise.

Another problem faced by the Aspergers youngster is the fact that he must change among his peers, and since these special kids are not apt at changing clothes without some assistance, it could mean social embarrassment. Rude behaviors with peers and educators in gym classes by these kids are often common as well because they are often maladapted to deal with social situations.

The most dangerous part of gym classes and Aspergers kids is the fact that they are often adept at withstanding amazing amounts of pain, which, though sounds like a good thing, can put the youngster in danger because he may hide injuries he received due to some contact sports. These are some of the most common problems that are to be noted by educators and moms and dads alike in order to assure the youngster’s well being and adaptability in gym classes.

It is very important to note that it is essential to understand the problems of the particular youngster with Aspergers first before taking any steps to help them as problems differ from individual to individual, therefore, subject educators, moms and dads, gym educators and special educators must cooperate in order to create the right gym environment for these kids. Peers who are willing and kind enough to help these kids out in their day to day gym activities should be assigned to each of them and gym educators must take caution, not to surprise the Aspergers youngster with any sudden change in the routine as they follow routines and instructions by the book.

Sometimes, when the degree of the Aspergers disorder is more than average, educators may be required to use flash cards, pictures or even posters as visual cues due to their inability to interpret verbal instructions properly. Demonstrations are often extremely helpful for Aspergers kids, especially if it is done before the general students tries to do the activity.

An assigned aide can do a lot of benefit to the kids with Aspergers as they can remove a youngster from a gym session if he becomes particularly stressed out or may be due to the youngster’s inability to handle the excess noise in the gym. A properly written, general weekly schedule can help the Aspergers youngster to be clear from confusions. Finally, a physical education teacher or any teacher for instance should understand that although an Aspergers youngster will most probably be bright in some aspects, but some, he will have difficulty in handling with efficiency; for such cases a possible alternative should be offered to the student.

Kindness and willingness to help from educators, moms and dads and friends can make gym class and Aspergers go together very nicely, in fact under the right conditions, the Aspergers youngster can even excel in gym classes.

Aspergers and Mixed State Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar Disorder’s Mixed State and Aspergers is often confused, but they are not one and the same. Certain features may coincide, but the two disorders can usually be differentiated on the ground that Aspergers kids are not interested in their friendship with peers, but children with bipolar disorder show interest in peer activities (although their aggressive impulses often render it useless).

Bipolar disorder is a comorbid condition found rarely in Aspergers, but when it is found, it makes the clinical condition of the child even more complicated. The Mixed Stage is the most dangerous and difficult stage of the bipolar disorder, and in combination with Aspergers, it becomes even more dangerous. It is not necessary that all children with Aspergers will also develop the bipolar mixed disorder, and neither is it vice versa, but it is present sometimes.

Bipolar Disorder, which may or may not co-exist with Aspergers, has the following symptoms and features:

• A condition which combines both mania and depression together to make the person feel tired, lethargic and anxious at the same time is called the Mixed State. Suicidal tendencies are the biggest danger involved with the individuals suffering from the Mixed State stage of the bipolar disorder, because the frustration and depression does not take away the energy necessary to commit suicide.

• Academic performance is seriously hampered by memory loss that might be caused due to a long term of untreated bipolar disorder. One may actually lose brain matter if the disorder is not met with proper treatment in time. Impulsive behavior and STM (short term memory) loss are the most common effects seen, for example, recollection of names and faces can be difficult.

• An advanced state of bipolar disorder causes insomnia or sleeplessness. A person suffering from bipolar disorder related insomnia may stay up for many a nights leading to poor performance in everything, and if stretched for a very long period, even psychosis.

• If someone reaches the extreme stage of mania, that is psychosis, he would require immediate hospitalization, especially if they are suffering from bipolar disorder as well, because their thoughts become both blurred and lunatic causing them to attempt suicide. The persons are often totally oblivious to their location and surroundings.

Following a routine to control your sleeping habits can be a step towards improvement. Also try out exercises you find appropriate for you, and do not under-eat or over-eat. Managing work if you are suffering from bipolar disorder can be hard, but taking breaks and keeping to regular hours can be really helpful. Try to avoid doing big jobs at once, rather set small tasks in front of you in order to reach your ultimate goal of finishing the big work. This helps in bringing the stress down and a sense of completion comes over you.

Individuals with bipolar disorder suffer from extremes of both happiness and depression. In order to control these, healthy lifestyle, proper medication and therapy from an experienced therapist can control the dangerous and hazardous problems that bipolar disorder gives rise to, therefore it is important to treat it early and properly.

Aspergers/HFA Children and Excessive Crying

Question

My 9 year old daughter cries all the time. When I tell her about something she has done wrong or try and correct something... she starts crying – even when she spills a drink or something on herself. I never shout or even tell her off... I think she would faint if I did!! She must have uncontrolled emotions or something, not being able to deal with them properly perhaps.

Answer

Can there be too much crying? Should we be concerned at some point when school-aged children cry? I think yes.

Often Aspergers and high functioning autistic (HFA) children feel criticized by their parents who tell them that they shouldn't cry. Hurt, they may cry more when told to stop crying. That's why I think we should downplay the message, "Don't cry," and play up the message, "Let's think of better ways you could handle this situation without crying." This approach makes us allies, trying to help our children grow up.

Another key for parents is not to reinforce excessive crying behavior. For example, Michael cries when he is frustrated. Rather than assisting him in response to tears, the parents could say: "We'll be glad to help you when you pull yourself together and ask for help in a big boy voice." The message should be, "It's not a good idea to cry about small things. Use your strength. We want to help you be strong."

Children on the autism spectrum often keep crying as long as it seems to work for them. When it doesn't, they eventually quit. If they are upset about something, we want them to learn to handle their feelings in more powerful ways.

One factor that generally triggers Aspergers and HFA children to stop crying is social pressure. If older children cry often in front of peers, they generally will be ridiculed. Parents can point this out while they teach their children other, more powerful responses to difficult situations.

Kids on the autism spectrum do indeed have problems with low-frustration tolerance, and they are very sensitive to changes in routine as well as certain environmental stimuli. As parents, we want to treasure our child's sensitivity. But, we also want to teach both boys and girls to tolerate some feelings without crying and to express certain emotions in more mature ways.

==> My Aspergers Child: Preventing Tantrums and Meltdowns

Aspergers Teens and Computer Game Addiction

Question

I have a 14 year old daughter who was diagnosed with Aspergers. She is currently attending a special needs school. Her main interest is to play games on the computer. She will get onto one of the Internet Multi Player Games and will not want to get off. We have implemented a timer program which only gives her a finite time that she can use the computer before it tells her that the time is up. Once the time is up she then asks us for more time. If we do not give her more time, she blows up into a fit of rage and may throw things or break things or physically bang her head into objects. We worry about our safety and hers when she does not get what she wants. How should we as parents react to this??

Answer

The short answer is download the My Aspergers Child eBook, because all the help you'll need in dealing with your daughter's rage will be addressed there.

The long answer is as follows...

Here are some symptoms or signs of video game addiction as well as computer game addiction to help determine if your Aspergers kids are addicted to computer games:

• Choosing the computer or playing video games rather than spending time with friends or family
• Difficulty keeping up with personal responsibilities due to increased hours playing computer games
• Dropping out of activities such as social groups, clubs or sports
• Fatigue; tendency to fall asleep in school
• Irritable, cranky or agitated (withdrawal symptoms) when not playing a video game or on the computer
• Lying about computer or video game use so computer or video game privileges aren’t taken away
• Lying to others about computer or video game use
• Most of their “free time” (non-school hours) are spent on the computer or playing video games
• Neglecting personal relationships with friends and family to spend more time playing computer games
• Not keeping up with homework assignments/not turning in homework on time
• Obsession or preoccupation about computer games or playing video games on a video game console excessively
• Worsening grades

Here is a self-test the Aspergers child can take to determine the level of game addiction:

1. Do you become so involved in playing computer games that you sometimes neglect to eat, sleep, or bathe?
2. Do you ever experience physical symptoms such as backaches, dry eyes or headaches after playing computer games?
3. Do you experience withdrawal symptoms when not playing computer games?
4. Do you sneak time to play games, perhaps late at night while others are asleep?
5. Do you spend most of your time thinking or wishing you could be playing your favorite game or surfing the web?
6. Has someone close to you, perhaps your significant other, ever criticized you for spending too much time playing computer games rather than spending time with them?
7. Have you been diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome or experience symptoms of carpal tunnel?
8. Have you ever said you were sick in order to stay home from school to play your favorite game?
9. While not spending time on the internet or playing computer games, do you feel angry, agitated, irritable or depressed?

If you are truly convinced that your Aspergers (high functioning autism) teens or kids are addicted to video games or computer games, it’s your job as the parent to get your kids off the computer and off the video game console, providing them ample opportunity for active play and natural exercise in and outside of the home.

Make no mistake, video game addiction is a real addiction and if you are a mom or dad that is concerned about your home-grown video game addict, it’s up to you to parent your kids and closely monitor and limit their gaming activities. Massively multiplayer online role-playing games (MMORPG’s) are designed to be addictive.

Video game makers and marketers are counting on people to become addicted to the games! It’s a lot of money in their pockets, and a lot of money out of your pockets. Let your kids whine, cry and complain all they want about placing restrictions and limits on their game use, but be the parent.

One of the effects of kids addicted to computer games is the increase in childhood obesity amongst young kids and teens due to excessive amounts of time spent leading a more sedentary lifestyle (and poor eating habits), amongst other physical, emotional and mental problems associated with too much time being spent playing computer games.

Be the parent of your kids, not their friend. If the video game problem in your home is so bad that you feel your Aspergers youngster is a “video game addict”, or if your kids spend too much time watching television, shut it down and get your kids involved in other activities that encourage and promote active play and that provides more than finger and thumb exercises from video game controls.

Again, if your Aspergers child flips into a rage when computer privileges are withdrawn, then use the disciplinary strategies outlined in My Aspergers Child eBook.


COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said...  Waiting to see the answers. I have the same issue. Except I home school and she won't do her school work. I have tried every approach and nothing is working. She is lost in video games.
•    Anonymous said... Be consistent! Stick to the plan. Hang on for dear life!
•    Anonymous said... Give her time warnings to transition. 15 min, 10 min warnings help prepare them.
•    Anonymous said... My son is not phased at all . Take 1 thing away like video games he just find something else and so it continues
•    Anonymous said... Password the computer so she can't go on.
•    Anonymous said... Prepare to have the computer smashed and other items.
•    Anonymous said... Unfortunately I think a lot of teenaged aspies only get to feel comfortable and popular in their online world doing something that they're usually brilliant at like gaming. I have the same problem here and have yet to work out a solution either
•    Anonymous said... We give our sons plenty of warning but we have had this in the past where everything gets smashed up.
•    Anonymous said... You may be up against the inevitable unfortunately. Some Aspies are fixated with their computers (my son also). I once worried about this also but in my experience taking it away only compounds the situation.
•    Anonymous said… Be consistent with her; when her time is up - her time up. It's probably a bit harder for you as she's a teenager and hormonal. Does she know when the time is going to go off? Can she see it counting down? Maybe if she had prior warning to just bam time's up, that it, that may (or may not) help her transition between playing and having to stop? Just a thought...you know your daughter best
•    Anonymous said… I know this is hard and she is older. We are very stricken with our aspergers child. When he throws a tantrum we send him to his room he can break whatever he wants then it's gone. We also will ground him. If he is throwing a fit over computer time we'll now you have lost it for 24 hours. They do aventually get it. We first started with a warning as time got close to ending g. Gave him consequences if he looses his temper. If he did he was sent to his room and losses the computer for 24 hours. You have to be firm even if it kills you inside
•    Anonymous said… We have an app on my phone called OurPact which cuts out the iPad at set times - regardless of what my daughter is doing. I also use a lock out on the computer so that at certain times she can access it and at other times she is locked out. I found it was the only safe way to regulate her use
•    Anonymous said… We make our son do activities to earn computer/ game time. Every minute he is outside, spending time with the family or anything non computer, he earns equal minutes on the computer. It has been working very well. Also we give warnings as well that his time is coming to an end. When tried the limits on the computer it was set to a specific time and the little booger found out how to change time zones so he could score more time. Hope this helps in some small way.
*   Anonymous said... My son is very attached to his computer time to. Putting limits on him was very difficult as he is intelligent and computer savvy enough to get around any security we put in place. I went so far at one point to un plug the modem and take it with me when I left the house so Internet wasn't possible. His response was to throw our computer hard drive off the balcony. Needless to say there were some consequences. The advice of our behavioral consultant has been to stop focusing on how much time he's spending on the computer and instead focus on making sure he's doing the things he needs to do. He has daily and weekly health, social and education goals with motivation rewards. After that he can game all he wants.
 
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