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What is a "meltdown" exactly?

"Mark, You refer to 'meltdowns' quite frequently in your articles. Is it not similar to a tantrum... if not, what can be done to prevent them?"

 Click here for the answer...
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Aspergers and HFA Meltdowns in Public

"How do you suggest dealing with an autistic (high functioning) child's outbursts in public?"

Emotional outbursts are very common in kids with Aspergers (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA). These episodes can be frightening for the youngster as well as everyone present. They can also be embarrassing to the parent when they happen in public places. 

Kids of all ages – and even adults – with AS and HFA should take precautions to help prevent reaching the state of losing complete control. There are several autism-related characteristics that can cause these emotional outbursts. To help your child control himself or herself (whether they occur in public or at home), you’ll have to discover the reasons behind them. The solution will depend on the cause(s).

Possible causes:
  • Lack of emotional awareness: Kids with the disorder do not always understand their own emotions or feelings about people, things, and situations.
  • Sensory issues: Hyposensitivity and hypersensitivity to light, sound, touch, smell, and visual activities can quickly become overwhelming, sending the youngster spiraling out of control.
  • Social issues: Kids on the autism spectrum have problems with social communication and situations. Being in a social situation can be extremely uncomfortable and can lead to an emotional breakdown.

There are a few things you can try that may help with your child’s problematic behavior:
  1. Start by contacting your doctor to discuss the child's general health.
  2. Your child may need help with anxiety and depression or other emotional issues that can be improved with the appropriate medicines.
  3. Family and individual counseling can help you understand the feelings your child is struggling with and can give you the knowledge you need to develop a “meltdown-prevention plan.” Counseling can help your child understand why he or she loses control, which can lead to better control and prevention.
  4. Help your child pinpoint any stressors that cause the outbursts.
  5. Adopt the use of redirection to avoid an outburst.
  6. Create a "safe zone" that is a calming place to relax and regain control.
  7. Use rewards to encourage self-control.
  8. Look for your child's "silent seizures" (i.e., little indications that he or she is becoming agitated).
  9. Always remember to think in terms of "prevention." Attempting to "intervene" after the child's outburst is well underway is too little - too late. The episode will have to run its course at that point.
  10. There are ebooks available that will increase your understanding on the issues your child experiences on a daily basis. “My Aspergers Child: How to Stop Meltdowns” by Mark Hutten, M.A. is a great resource for you to utilize. You can find it here: My Aspergers Child. This ebook offers solutions and practical advice for home and for school and helps children with AS and HFA, as well as those around them.

Educating yourself on the causes and treatments for these extreme emotions will benefit both you and your child.


COMMENTS:

o    Anonymous said… Good to hear other stories and experiences! I often feel alone and overwhelmed. Well-meaning advice is often the last thing I need to hear on a bad day/week...
o      Anonymous said… If I can get her to put on her headphones at some point, the meltdown might not last as long.
o    Anonymous said… I'm grateful those days are over ! But boy oh boy do I remember them ! Lol I took it like a man / mommy ... And kept on keeping on and after a while it didn't bother me what anyone thought . In that moment the ONLY thing that matters is YOUR child . He / she needs you to help them ASAP . Pick him up and remove child if possible or get to a quiet place . Don't argue with child or ask why are you doing THIS right now ?!!!!! Gotta diffuse the situation . And later when things are calm and if child can talk ... Go over what happened and teach them ways to signal you or avoid the situation . My son flipped off a deacon in the church at age four . ( ex husband favorite road rage move ) Yea ... Pretty embarrassing . And after that he ran out the church and into the parking lot crying . From that day on I got permission to stay with him in the nursery and I listened to service on the TV in there while my other 3 children attended church . When it's your child . You find a way to do what needs to be done . The public may judge not understanding the " bad behavior" ... I don't blame them at all ... However , I'm the one going home with the child not them so find a friend to vent to . Treat yourself to a Starbucks after an embarrassing trip out the house , and pat yourself on the back ... Your doing a great job and to your child your a hero !
o    Anonymous said… My 6 yo daughter has Aspergers and meltdowns in public are so frequent (at least 3 an hour). I tend to go into denial and think that I will be able to prevent one, but I never can. I just do as the situation demands: if it can't be fixed, I comfort her; if it has to do with not knowing a social rule, I wait until she's calm to explain; if it is that she forgot a rule, I remind her how well she's doing. I try to take her to a calm spot.
o    Anonymous said… My child had a meltdown in Target when 4... We have always been told to remove the child from the situation so my hubby took our screaming child out to the car. well when he got to the doors, he was stopped by a lady and asked for his ID. He said no problem and showed it to her. Well 20 minutes later while sitting in the car, he gets a tap on the window and finds a cop there. He was told that they received a call that there was a discipline problem. My hubby said well yeah there is and I removed the child from the store because of it. The officer looked at my child and asked if my hubby was the dad, my child looked shocked but nodded yes and the officer walked back to his car and left. Needless to say my hubby NEVER took our child out of the store screaming again, it was my job from then on...we eventually learned what triggers to look for and was able to avoid situations like that again..
o    Anonymous said… My son has had meltdowns at Target and once while on vacation when he was younger. I remember a lady scolding my husband because she thought he wasn't helping take care of the situation when I had specifically told him to go back inside where his cousin was having his wedding reception and it was during the toasts. A couple of times at grocery stores, people have threatened to call CPS on me because "a child never screams when they are with their parents". Um yeah.

Please post your comment below…
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Asperger’s and HFA Students: Crucial Tips for Teachers

Tips for Teachers with Students on the Autism Spectrum

In this post, we will explore the following categories, and how teachers can effectively guide and instruct the child with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism:

1. Social Aspects

2. Communication Difficulties

3. Clumsiness

4. Stress and the Environment

5. Intellectual Functioning

6. Obsessional Interests

7. Special Arrangements for Examinations
  • The examination room
  • Extra time
  • Presentation of examination papers
  • Use of language in question papers
  • Prompting of the student when it is time to move on to the next question
  • Word-processing and handwriting
  • Oral tests

==> Click here for the full article...
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Asperger’s Syndrome & Meltdowns: Guidelines for Parents & Teachers

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Children on the Autism Spectrum and "Out-of-Control" Tantrums

In this post, we’re going to look at temper tantrums in children with ASD Level 1, or High-Functioning Autism (HFA). Tantrums should not be confused with meltdowns. There does seem to be a fine line between tantrums and meltdowns, so if you’re not sure which is which, view this video first: What is the difference between a meltdown and a tantrum?

Temper tantrums range from whining and crying to screaming, kicking, hitting, and breath holding. HFA temperaments vary dramatically — so some kids may experience regular temper tantrums, whereas others have them rarely. They're a normal part of development and don't have to be seen as something negative. However, unlike “typical” children, HFA kids don't have the same inhibitions or control.

Imagine how it feels when you're determined to program your DVD player and aren't able to do it no matter how hard you try, because you can't understand how. It's very frustrating! Do you swear, throw the manual, walk away and slam the door on your way out? That's the grown-up version of a temper tantrum. Children on the spectrum are also trying to master their world, and when they aren't able to accomplish a task, they turn to one of the only tools at their disposal for venting frustration — a temper tantrum.
 
Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

Several basic causes of temper tantrums are familiar to mothers and fathers everywhere: The youngster is seeking attention or is tired, hungry, or uncomfortable. In addition, temper tantrums are often the result of frustration with the world. They can't get something (e.g., an object or a parent) to do what they want. Frustration is an unavoidable part of their lives as they learn how people, objects, and their own bodies work.

Temper tantrums are common during the second year of life for all kids. This is a time when kids are acquiring language. However, kids on the autism spectrum generally understand more than they can express. Imagine not being able to communicate your needs to someone. That would be a frustrating experience that may precipitate a temper tantrum. As language skills improve, temper tantrums tend to decrease.

Another task that all kids are faced with is an increasing need for autonomy. However, even though HFA kids want a sense of independence and control over the environment, this may be more than they may be capable of handling. This creates the perfect condition for power struggles as a youngster on the spectrum thinks "I can do it myself" or "I want it, give it to me." When these kids discover that they can't do it or can't have everything they want, the stage is set for a temper tantrum.

Avoiding Temper Tantrums—

The best way to deal with temper tantrums is to avoid them in the first place, whenever possible. Here are some strategies that may help:

1. Autistic children are more likely to use temper tantrums to get their way if they've learned that this behavior works. Once the young people are school age, it's appropriate to send them to their rooms to cool off. Rather than setting a specific time limit, mothers and fathers can tell them to stay in the room “until they've regained control.” This option is empowering, because these kids can affect the outcome by their own actions, thereby gaining a sense of control that was lost during the temper tantrum.

2. Children on the Autism Spectrum have fairly rudimentary reasoning skills, so you aren't likely to get very far with explanations. If the temper tantrum poses no threat to your youngster or others, then ignoring the outburst may be the best way to handle it.  Continue your activities, and pay no attention to your youngster – but remain within sight. Don't leave him or her alone, otherwise he or she may feel abandoned on top of all of the other uncontrollable emotions.

3. These kids may be especially vulnerable AFTER a temper tantrum when they know they've been less than adorable. Now is the time for a hug and reassurance that your youngster is loved, no matter what.

4. HFA children  who are in danger of hurting themselves or others during a temper tantrum should be taken to a quiet, safe place to calm down. This also applies to temper tantrums in public places.

5. Consider the request carefully when your youngster wants something. Is it outrageous? Maybe it isn't. Choose your battles carefully, and accommodate when you can.

6. Distract your youngster. Take advantage of your child's short attention span by offering a replacement for the coveted object or beginning a new activity to replace the frustrating or forbidden one. Also, you can simply change the environment. Take your youngster outside or inside or move to a different room.
 
How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

7. If a safety issue is involved, and the youngster repeats the forbidden behavior after being told to stop, use a time-out or hold the youngster firmly for several minutes. Be consistent. Young people on the spectrum must understand that you are inflexible on safety issues.

8. Keep off-limits objects out of sight and out of reach to make struggles less likely to develop over them. Obviously, this isn't always possible, especially outside of the home where the environment can't be controlled.

9. Know your youngster's limits. If you know he or she is tired, it's not the best time to go grocery shopping or try to squeeze in one more errand.

10. Make sure your youngster isn't acting-out simply because he or she isn't getting enough attention. To a youngster on the spectrum, negative attention (a parent's response to a temper tantrum) is better than no attention at all. Try to establish a habit of catching your youngster being good ("time in"), which means rewarding him or her with attention for positive behavior.

11. Occasionally your "special needs" youngster will have a hard time stopping a temper tantrum. In these cases, it might help to say to say, "I'll help you settle down now." But, do not reward your youngster after a temper tantrum by giving in. This will only prove to him or her that the temper tantrum was effective. Instead, verbally praise the youngster for regaining control.

12. Set the stage for success when your son or daughter is playing or trying to master a new task. Offer age-appropriate toys and games. Also, start with something simple before moving on to more challenging tasks.

13. Temper tantrums should be handled differently depending on the cause. Try to understand where your youngster is coming from. For example, if he or she has just had a great disappointment, you may need to provide comfort. If he or she is simply a sore loser at games and hits a playmate, then you may to provide a consequence.

14. The most important thing to keep in mind when you're faced with a boy or girl in the throes of a temper tantrum – no matter what the cause – is simple yet very important: Keep your cool. Don't complicate the problem with your own frustration. Even kids on the spectrum can sense when mothers and fathers are becoming frustrated. This can just make their frustration worse, and you may have a more exaggerated temper tantrum on your hands. Instead, take deep breaths and try to think clearly.

15. Try to give your "special needs" child some control over little things. This may fulfill the need for independence and ward off temper tantrums. Offer minor choices, for example, "Do you want orange juice or apple juice?" or "Do you want to brush your teeth before or after taking a bath?" This way, you aren't asking "Do you want to brush your teeth now?" …which inevitably will be answered "no."

16. Your youngster relies on you to be the example. Smacking and spanking don't help. Physical tactics send the message that using force and physical punishment is acceptable. Instead, have enough self-control for both of you.

17. You should consult your child’s pediatrician if any of the following occur:
  • tantrums arouse a lot of bad feelings
  • tantrums increase in frequency, intensity, or duration
  • you keep giving into your child’s demands
  • your youngster displays mood issues (e.g., negativity, low self-esteem, extreme dependence)
  • your youngster frequently hurts himself/herself or others
  • your youngster is destructive
  • you're uncomfortable with your responses to the child's tantrums

Your doctor can also check for any physical problems that may be contributing to the tantrums (e.g., hearing or vision problems, chronic illness, language delays, learning disability, etc.).

Remember, temper tantrums usually aren't cause for concern and generally diminish on their own. As these young people mature developmentally, and their grasp of themselves and the world increases, their frustration levels decrease. Less frustration and more control mean fewer temper tantrums — and happier mothers and fathers.


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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