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Meltdown-Free Haircuts: Tips for Parents of Kids on the Autism Spectrum

“Our 4-year-old autistic son (high functioning) refuses to let us cut his hair. Even the mention of it causes him to start to meltdown. He’s starting to look like a girl. We’re a bit desperate at this point. Any advice?”

Cute kid ...are you sure you want to cut his hair?  Just kidding!  Here are a few ideas:

1. Allow your son to give an old stuffed toy or doll a haircut while his hair is being cut. This may help him learn to generalize the experience. You or the barber can also use the stuffed toy to demonstrate what it is you need or expect your son to do (e.g., act out directions to 'turn your head to the left' or 'look down').

2. At home, use this opportunity to teach other daily living skills, particularly hygiene and grooming. For example, your son may learn how to undress/dress, shower or take a bath independently, run his own bath water at the right temperature, wash his body properly, determine how long to stay in the shower or tub, clean the shower/tub, put his dirty clothes away, use deodorant, choose an appropriate outfit to wear, etc.

3. Be sure your son has a cape, sheet or towel draped over him. Most kids on the autism spectrum hate having hair fall on their face, body or clothing.

4. Buy a good quality home hair-cutting kit. Look for clippers with blade guards to avoid cutting the hair too short.

5. Develop a routine for haircuts. Try to schedule them for the same day of the week and time of day whenever possible (e.g., every other Saturday at noon).

6. Edge the front, sides and nape of the neck first for a 'shape-up' -- then cut the hair. Should your son not tolerate a haircut before you or the barber are done, a shape-up will give him a clean, fresh haircut look, even if the hair has not been entirely cut.

7. Explain to your son exactly what you are planning to do during the haircut. Use short sentences and/or visual supports using personal pictures or icons. Take a picture while your son is getting a haircut. Take a picture of all the items used. You may also use icons or PECS.

8. Focus on the task at hand. Try to cut hair as fast as you can without rushing. Do not dawdle. Try not to stop cutting hair to talk to others, in person or on the phone.

9. For a youngster that is sensitive to the buzzing noise of the clippers or the repeated 'snap' of the scissors, try using soft, flexible ear plugs. Also, consider singing a song or playing some of his favorite music.

10. Lessons and tasks on daily living activities may be expanded in time as appropriate. For example, your son may help put items away, clean and oil the clippers, sweep or vacuum hair off the floor, or put their dirty clothes and towels in the hamper or washing machine.


11. Observe your son while cutting his hair. Is there anything in particular he dislikes or finds intolerable? If so, try to make it better.

12. Once the haircut is done, admire your son's clean-cut appearance. Show him how he looks in the mirror. Take before and after photos so he can see the benefits. Use this opportunity to begin to teach him how to comb and brush his own hair.

13. Reassure your son during the haircut. Explain each step of the way in a slow, steady voice. Let your son know that the end is near. This step may be faded out gradually as he becomes familiar with the process.

14. Remember to give your son a reward or bonus that he will enjoy. Give him a choice for his bonus. A reward or bonus will show him that, although we must do unpleasant things sometimes, at other times we get to do things that we enjoy.

15. Schedule a haircut when your son is least likely to be 'sensory overloaded' or feeling overwhelmed by the information he is taking in through the five senses. Try to avoid scheduling haircuts after school or when your son is ill or tired.

16. Take each haircut session one at a time. Observe your son, take notes if necessary. You will learn more about your son each time.

17. Think of a few activities, toys or food your son really enjoys to use as his special reward or bonus.

18. Under supervision, allow your son to handle the clippers and other items used for the haircut. At home, allow him to help you prepare for it. For example, he gets a towel, and the comb or brush. Teach him how to clean the clippers (e.g., brush off any loose hairs from the blade and oil the clippers). This can be a good motivator, and it is fun.

19. Unless your son is better able to tolerate a haircut, keep his hairstyle simple. For example, 'fades' and 'parts' may take longer to cut. Try the 'Caesar' style which is a low even-blended cut all around the head.

20. Use unscented shampoo and conditioner if your son is sensitive to smells or odors. Before you begin a haircut, wash the hair to remove any hair products build-up. Cutting clean, dry hair with clippers is much faster. The hair will cut easier. Some kids on the spectrum do not like having their hair washed.

21. Share the video below with your child:




Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD


PARENTS' COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said...  i know how you feel i cut my son's hair for years I took him to hair dresses and it was awful now i tell him a week before i do it, he sits on the table and slowly cut with scissors ( im not a hairdresser by the way) and just cut the long bits off first time i did it i managed about 5 mins now after about 18 months he will sit for 20 mins and it not brilliant but so much better before. He watches whatever he wants and has a lollypop afterwards. But i will say remind him everyday he will get it will it doesnt hurt show him the sciissors etc good luck x
•    Anonymous said... A social story?
•    Anonymous said... Becci, I've never seen this question posed as a "hygiene" issue re: girls who don't want haircuts, and she specifically said he is starting to "look like a girl."
•    Anonymous said... Bribery works for my aspie son
•    Anonymous said... Bribery. Simple:) Anything he wants, but, he only gets it when the cut is completed. Something tangible, have it in hand and show him. Good luck. Try a few snips at home to show him it doesn't hurt. Perhaps have someone come to the home to do it. My son hates the clippers. Be firm. he will walk on you forever if not. He looks cute btw:)
•    Anonymous said... Bribes work well, to get them over the agonizing hump. I have come to embrace bribery as an important tool in dealing wirh my sons challenges.
•    Anonymous said... Can he tell you what the reason behind not wanting his hair cut is? Once you find the source of the fear you have somewhere to start.
•    Anonymous said... Deep scalp massage before the haircut works for my son
•    Anonymous said... For my kiddo it's the noise, combined with a general fear of being cut. Earbud headphones with kids music have helped with the noise problem (they don't really get in the way, and the music helps him stay calm by distraction). When it comes to the fear issue, we helped him get over it using semantics. It was no longer a hair *cut*, but a trim, or a buzz. It still bothered him at first, but he was much more willing to try when "cutting" was taken out of the equasion. On the other hand, theres absolutely nothing wrong with him having long hair. My little guy just doesn't care for it. Make sure your little one isn't objecting simply for choice of style. He may have an opinion on how he wants to look, but not have the words to say so. Good luck
•    Anonymous said... Have you tried one of those dun places for kids??
•    Anonymous said... I am talking about my son. He is 12 and has outgrown it for the most part.
•    Anonymous said... I cut my sons hair. It's a struggle, but we get it done. We have 2 types. The whole head and just the sides and back. I ask him a few days in advance, and everyday leading up to the cut, so he knows it is coming and I let him know which cut he is getting. We also do it just before bath time so he can jump right in and get cleaned off.
•    Anonymous said... I finally had success doing haircuts in the bath or when my son was absorbed in his favourite tv show. Unfortunately hair salons remained a no-go zone for many years due to the sound of dryers, clippers & phone ringing. Hairdressers who come to you are worth their weight in gold - not as rushed, patient & all in familiar surroundings - home! Hang in there xo
•    Anonymous said... I found a barber shop where the buzz clippers had a vacuum attachment. No hair fell on my son. Other times he played video game or watched a movie while his hair was cut.
•    Anonymous said... I had to bribe my son some times.. other times I choose my battles. He is almost 13 and I let him choose his own hair as long as he keeps his grades up. He has been teased in school for looking like a girl. His choice, I tell him
•    Anonymous said... I have a 16 year old who has longer hair than me....its a hypersensitivity, change and security thing. As they grow, you learn what to 'let go' of as not 'really' important in the scheme of things. Its only hair, its part of them and I'd rather have a happier kid than traumatize them for societal or our judgement of what is normal...who wants to be a sheep anyway? ( I am saying this with good intention and lots of experience) so I agree with Jo.....let him be and you can all be happy
•    Anonymous said... I have to say that I am quite surprised that so many people on this page are being so vehemently judgmental. This child has parents who clearly want to cut his hair or at least make the process (something that we all have to do at some point) less traumatizing for him and they have a right to do that. How about we make the effort to be helpful and refrain from mocking them for making their own decisions. For some this can be a real problem considering a great number of our boys don't like personal hygiene and long hair can pose a problem if they won't let you wash it! I am in the group of parents who started early familiarizing him with the beauty shop and then making sure I took him to someone who wasn't nervous to trim a child was important as well. There have been times that my kids wanted longer hair like their friends but then there are times that it really needs to be cut. My advice to these parents would be to take it slow and ease him into it and he will get there but if you force it he will always be resistant to it. I'd also like to ask everyone else to try to be supportive as a community instead of putting down parents who are already under the stress of having to figure out how to best handle situations that wouldn't be an issue for parents of neuro-typical children.
•    Anonymous said... I learned to cut hair. we do it in sections, a little bit over two or three days. Its fine if you want him to cut his hair, there is no need for you to feel bad because you want him to have shorter hair. I realize you have to pick your battles (there are so many battles) but the fact is youre his mom and he needs a haircut. He is going to need to learn to tolerate it at some point.
•    Anonymous said... I sat on the floor with my son, about the same age, and cut his hair while watching his favorite cartoons. It took quite a while but we had an nice little boy cut in the end. After he got it cut the first time he would come ask me to cut it.
•    Anonymous said... I started by snipping bits of wet hair off in the bath while he was playing with his toys, and slowly progressed from there.
•    Anonymous said... I was able to find a cutter that my boy liked where he would not sit for anyone else. So, try different places and see if your child will "warm up" to a cutter.
•    Anonymous said... I'm sure he doesn't look like a girl, but a boy with long hair!,,, they learn sense of self worth from you, so chill. Does it matter what anyone else thinkS?
•    Anonymous said... It's you who has the problem with ridiculous gender norms, not your kid. Let him wear his hair the way he wants.
•    Anonymous said... Let him make he choice. My aspie donated 16" of gorgeous long hair when he was 9.
•    Anonymous said... my 11 year old son won't let us cut his hair either. He explained to me that he didn't care if people thought he was a girl because he knows he's a boy. He said to me, "Mom it's not your hair, it's my hair and i want it like it is."
•    Anonymous said... My 9yo is the same way. I just figure it is his head, so he can have it as he likes.
* Anonymous said... My 6yo doesn't like it long but doesn't like it to be cut. So we spend a few days prepping him, then cut it with scissors. I cut as much as I can the first day while momentum is high, then finish the next day. Again, with lots of verbal prep.
•    Anonymous said... My kid did the same...I started with just putting the clippers not running closer and closer to his head...letting him handle em and "play" with them to familiarize himself with it. My sons hair grew half way down his back twice before 3. He turns 3 next Tuesday. If clippers scare start with buzzy electric tooth brush. And scissors. Do a piece a day if ya gotta. BUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH LONG HAIR? I don't think I would say he looks like a girl, that's your perception bc you in your culture associate long hair with feminist ways. Many warriors and cultures cherish long hair. Sounds like your more worried about what people think than what works best for him. If he likes his hair that's all that matters.
•    Anonymous said... My son (12 yrs) is the same. He has never been to a barber. Periodically his hair irritates his face and he consents to a cut. If you associate with hippies like I do it won't matter - men and long hair are a dime a dozen
•    Anonymous said... My son had hair to his waist by time he was 7. It's an unfortunate cultural idea boys look like girls when they have long hair. I figured as long as my son was comfortable, I would be too. When he was 8, he decided to have a hair cut.
•    Anonymous said... My son is 11 now, but used to have this problem. He said it "hurt" to cut his hair. It could be a sensory thing there...for a while he only let them use scissors, then it was only clippers, and now he's over it, though he still doesn't like it and complains for hours after that he's itchy (even after showering). Have you tried taking him along with a friend? Sometimes peer encouragement is helpful. Or perhaps you can just trim it at home until he's ready.
•    Anonymous said... My son is 6 now and was always terrified of getting a haircut..finally I started doing it myself right before or after a bath...he didn't like it at first but we had to use some bribery the first time and gave him a little Mario brothers toy to get him past the fear the first time...he still fussed about it but improved every time. After he was comfortable with me doing it we took him to a great clips, the hairdresser let him hold the squirt bottle and he was so distracted spraying the bottle that he didn't care about the haircut. Yes it was a wet mess, but he got his hair cut without a meltdown and has been fine with haircuts ever since. We don't let them use the clippers or hairdryer and he doesn't like the apron so we just take a change of shirt for when he is done. It takes time to get them there but it can happen!
•    Anonymous said... My son is the same so we are just gonna let him tell us when he wants it cut. He's 9.
•    Anonymous said... My son is the same way only he doesn't like the feel of hair (even his own). It makes his head feel itchy to the point he scratches holes in his head. But, he doesn't like his hair cut...yeah, talk about a catch 22. What we do is find something on the computer to watch and put ear phones in his ears. He watches something with a towel around his neck while I quickly shave off his hair. When I'm done he hops into the shower right away to wash off any stray hairs that got under the towel. This is the most successful way so far.
•    Anonymous said... My son is the same way, and nothing could convince him to cut his hair until he was ready. He'll grow it for a year or two, until it's really long, and then one day he'll want it cut and I have to act FAST before he changes his mind. You might think it looks bad, but there are so many more important battles you'll face. I'd let this one go.
•    Anonymous said... My son is the same way...I am a hairdresser and cut my families hair... I let him grow it in the back..he has a mullet that he LOVES (me not so much) but he is happy. When I had kids in my chair that were a little "difficult" I stayed calm and cleared off my station, handed them a squirt bottle that they could squirt them selves in the mirror with...or me... this seemed to do the trick in a lot of the cases. I am also a firm believer in bribery! That seems to work every time
•    Anonymous said... My son just turned 14 & we have always had a battle with this one. He also said it "hurt". All these suggestions are great & did help @ times. A month ago, he had his 1st haircut that he didn't complain about. For the last several years I have taken him with me when I get my hair done. He got to know everyone. He actually asked my hairdresser to do his. She took her time, washed it first massaging well. He told her how he wanted it. I made a point to keep my interest in a magazine as I was under the dryer. He did great & can't wait to go back. We did have to come straight home so he could shower. He also has never liked his nails cut. He is now doing them although they get kinda long before he will trim them. My son matured early & has had extreme body odor & never did baths or showers well. We finally got a prescribed deodorant that has helped tremendously. I got an electric razor for him to use to shave with knowing a regular razor would be totally not doable. He played with it for several months taking it apart & even spent a couple sessions with his therapist. The therapist would bring his razor and they shaved together. We discovered he will use the trimmer better than the razor with the circle blades. Everything just takes trial, error & lots of patience with our kids
•    Anonymous said... My son used to complain that the SOUND of his hair being cut hurt his head. He had long hair for years before he finally decided it was okay to cut it.
•    Anonymous said... My son waa afraid because he did not like the noise the clippers made, so it took us doing it at home and having him put his fingers in his ears. He is now 15 and he does just fine. it took us a long time to have someone else cut it. We also let him hold the clippers and test on his arm.
•    Anonymous said... My son was like that too for a very long time, then after a few years we used the whole "look daddy is shaving his hair and looks soooo cool" and then he wanted to look like daddy, sometimes we wouldnt be quick enough and only get half his head shaved before he would change his mind, so i would have to wait till the following day to finish it off
•    Anonymous said... My son was the exact same way. He didn't like the sound of the clippers. So we started taking him to a barber and only use scissors. It was less stimulating for him.
•    Anonymous said... Never ever use clippers or a razor. Once we stopped letting the barber use them he calmed down a little. Also had to tell them not to brush or comb against the way his hair lays naturally. He would scream that it hurt when they did.
•    Anonymous said... oh no, he looks like a girl!! the horror!!
•    Anonymous said... our son is 14 and just got his first real boy haircut. Pick your battles. He got mistaken for a girl all the time. I took him to the hair dresser to visit lots because he had a lot os fears and didn't like the sound of the scissors. Find a hair dresser he likes and stick with her. Ours used a portable DVD player and treats and a lot of encouragement certificates ect and now no big deal although he still holds my hand and only goes 2 times a year. Hope this helps
•    Anonymous said... Reward, A BIG REWARD. I bought my son a brand new video game, of his choice.
•    Anonymous said... There are quite a lot of boys with longish hair these days... I would be tempted not to say to him he looks like a girl, as this might add more to an anxiety. In the end, like with so many things, the less something is a battle, the better. He might change his mind by himself... school holidays ahead, in a few weeks time, the crisis might be over.
•    Anonymous said... this last time i put on a show that really engaged him and sat behind him. i told him before what was going to happen but as long as he continued to just sit and watch the movie everything would be fine. It took about 45 mins to get a decent cut but way less of a meltdown situation. Hardest part was near the front of his face. by that point i brought in treat reinforcements for sitting.
•    Anonymous said... This looks like helpful advice & gives a window into the viewpoint of Asperger children who have sensory hyper-sensitivity. BTW, my ed. psych prof was just saying that many movie theaters have showings for special needs children in which they lower the sound. The intense volume of some theaters is upsetting to some. (remembering when we had to leave a loud circus)
•    Anonymous said... To start my son off we took him to a place that put kids in trains/planes then after the cut they could jump into a ball pit. They gave him bubbles to blow too! (Distraction was the key) OH..and bribery works too!
•    Anonymous said... Try cutting it while he is asleep
•    Anonymous said... We had the same issue with our son and discovered that he just didn't want US to do it. We found an amazing hairdresser by sheer luck that would ease him into the chair, let him have a sucker (had to keep rinsing it off though lol) and she didn't use scissors, only the buzzers which she would say "I'm gonna tickle you!" He thought that was cute. When we moved, I took him to a kids cuts place and that hair dresser had a very cold personality and super loud voice. He tore that place up trying to get out. Took him to another place to try again later, a cost cutters in a mall and found a lady he didn't react that way to. So for our son I think it has more to do with voice tone; feeling comfortable and safe with who is doing it in addition to all the sensory stuff.
•    Anonymous said... We had the same problem. It turned out that Eli was terrified of the electric clippers. We found a nearby SuperCuts that will agree to use scissors only and now we put the haircut on the calendar in advance, remind him the day before and in the morning. Before we leave we let him know that if he's calm and doesn't have a meltdown, he can choose a treat to afterward, but if he doesn't keep calm, he will have his electronics taken away for the rest of the day. We've been successful about 4-5 times in a row now!!!
•    Anonymous said... We went through the same thing with our son and it took time to get passed it. We found a barber that he seemed to like and would bring his favorite toy and treats with us to try to help distract him. It took a few trips of visiting the same barber regularly before he started to calm. He's now been going to him for just over 2 years and toys and treats are no longer needed. We still stop in if we are in the shopping center just so he has the chance to say hi, once he started thinking of him as a friend he started to trust him so he no longer had a problem with being touched.
•    Anonymous said... We went through this when my aspie son was about four. He hated haircuts because he was afraid of the hair dryers and the clippers that they used (he hated the buzz and the way they tickled). Once I started explaining his fears things gradually got better. Now he will get a haircut with no problem, still not his favorite thing in the world, but he has learned to cope, even with the clippers. He is seven now...good luck!!
•    Anonymous said... We've been dealing with this for a few years. My son also says his hair hurts to be cut. In addition, loud noises are terrible for him, so we have to avoid the clippers that buzz in his ears, and the "fun kid salons" are not possible for us because they're too loud. When he was younger I trimmed his hair when he was in a bath (as another poster mentioned), but lately he's agreed to go to a salon, as long as they know from the start not to use trimmers and then I tell the stylist what to expect (lots of complaints, moving around, etc.) it's important to instruct the stylist that a perfect haircut is not necessary -- just cut it as best as they can while he's moving and complaining. I've lowered my expectations and now we're all happy!
•    Anonymous said... And of course with aspie kids, their refusal to comply with things they have to do, is a challenge!!!... I am trying to teach mine, in some things we have to do, if we want to do it or not...that's life!..as brushing his teeth, he has to do this!..there is no choice not to!.. So, I tell him to find a way to deal with it, count numbers, sing, humm, whatever helps him to get through it!..progress will happen!
•    Anonymous said... And what's wrong with "looking like a girl"?! However... my ASD son also hates having his hair touched, brushed, cut etc. It's a constant battle. He has asked that it's dyed pink soon, once he leaves school. He, like many, many other autistic people, doesn't subscribe to gender stereotypes.
•    Anonymous said... Associating long hair with a gender is a cultural stereotype, and autistic children (and adults) are above that. Forcing them into these stereotypes is part of breaking their spirit.
•    Anonymous said... Here's my handsome 8 year old with Aspergers. He HATES the clippers but can handle a trim with scissors. I just remind him that long hair (especially curly!) requires care. Washing and brusing/combing. Sofar this has been more tolerable than a haircut!
•    Anonymous said... I cut hair...and my son was the worst customer I ever had...lol...it's the sensory issue they have that makes it so difficult... My son is 5 now, and about a month before his 5th birthday, we had success!... He asked me crying, if I could cut it "tickle over comb"...which is really a cutting technic for "clipper over comb"...he just associated the buzzing clippers with tickles, and is OK with that... So I of course did it "tickle over comb" for him...lol...around the side and back...and cut the top with the shears, which he is OK with that...He never liked the sound of the shears around his ears or neck, or the slightest touch to his skin with the shears, would send him into frantic meltdown mode...so I can use shears on top, to pull up his hair with my fingers to cut and have to use clipper over comb for sides and back...Good luck!!!!!
•    Anonymous said... I cut my sons hair as well and it takes a week to convince him, but he always succumbs. Sometimes it takes money. He is 16, so it effects his facial acne too. Even with all those factors we have to convince him. I wish he would realize how easy it is to not have so much hair because washing and brushing it takes a lot more shampoo and time.
•    Anonymous said... I had this with my 14 year old son for years & still he hates getting it done but sadly I had to b honest with him & tell him that his hair didint suit him long & that I didint want him getting bullied for it sadly children can be cruel & life is hard enough for them my son has aspergers & enough struggles without standing out because of long hair that did not suit him either my son now goes but I have to prepare him a day or 2 b4 hand that he needs to get his hair cut & also I tell him that after I will give him money for his favourite sweetie or can of juice this helps encourage him have u tried maybe having some1 come to ur home to do it? Sometimes the crowds & strangers can be scary for these children hope u find a solution xx
•    Anonymous said... I had to cut our sons hair and use a distraction. He said it hurt to cut the hair and his nails. I did not take him to a barber until he was 11. Now at 13 he is totally fine with it all and is not sure why he was so afraid when he was younger. Compromise carefully and patiently, I find that at 13 my son is beginning be easier with all these things and I think it is because we tried to reduce drama/trauma and be patient and respectful. One time it took me more than 1 hr to get a splinter out if his finger.... Slow and patient. Keep encouraging them that they are ok, that they do not need to be afraid. You will protect them and not purposefully hurt them.
•    Anonymous said... I have a like minded 6 yr old son, new things or things that pushes him out of his comfort zone or a tedious challenge and can take quite a while before he accepts the thing in question, I find by putting the ball in his court and letting him take an element of control and letting him come round to doing such things of his own decision gives him confidence, eventually he'll be having a good day and decide to go for it happily coz he wants to instead of it turning into a dramatic emotional battle, take a step back be casual and introduce going to hairdressers with family and friends as much as poss, eventually he'll decide he wants a haircut too wen it feels right for him, then that should be problem over n next should be straightforward like ther was no issue in first place, I've used this strategy quite often, it works for mine, good luck
•    Anonymous said... I have the same issue with my boy. He gets so upset and anxious at the thought of the hairdressers. I invested in a clipper set and do it myself at home. Still not keen but will tolerate it.
•    Anonymous said... I was reading somewhere there is a good hair dresses near or in tinlids. Haven't been but reviews seemed good. I'll see if I can find the link.
•    Anonymous said... I wouldn't use the stereotype that he looks like a girl to dissuade him. Try just using a scissors. That's what I did with my son and he allows that.
•    Anonymous said... My 10 year old daughter with Asperger's hates brushing her hair, won't let many brush it either  Hair cuts are ok for us, but we r lucky if she brushes her hair or teeth more than twice a week  I would try asking him to cut his own hair. Give him the control his anxiety needs him to have over the situation. Just my humble opinion. Good luck!
•    Anonymous said... My 14 year old still hates haircuts. I have to give him a few days warning then add a bribe. I cut it at home because he hates when the hairdresser tries talking to him. By doing at it at home we avoid that portion. He says it hurts when his hair is touched let alone clipped or cut.
•    Anonymous said... My Aspergers son and I would compromise a little. I cut his hair at home with clippers, but would let him watch his favorite show on TV or iPad. I would just minimize the amount of time with clippers and try to scissor the rest. And if you miss some spots, just snip them later now and then when he is doing an activity he is involved in. Long process, but it works for me. After he saw the clippers didn't hurt him it became easier he is 8 now. I started using clippers about 3-4 years old. He would want to hold them and see how it worked before he would RELUCTANTLY let me use them. It still can be a challenge though. I usually give him a few days to a week warning that he will be needing a haircut so he can prepare himself.
•    Anonymous said... We also have a son nearly 15 he wasn't diagnosed until he was 11 we could never understand y he hated his hair being cut let alone brushed etc.. When he was younger like everyone above we did it at home with scissors only and it would take us weeks to convince him and always with a bribe as he got older we took him to hair dressers but would tAke us nearly an hour just to get him in the room then another hour in the chair (they were very understanding when we explained our situation to them) he now has a regular hair dresser that he sees and will only go to that one.. When he was younger he used to work himself up that bad he would get big red welts where his hair landed on him so we used tissue paper and lots of baby powder so his hair wouldn't touch his skin.. And always had to have a shower straight after.. When he was little I even cut his hair while he was having a shower to prevent it touching him.. It does get easier but it has been a long 14yrs to get to where we r today.
 

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"My  son would rather have a mouth full of cavities - and the pain that goes with it - than go to the dentist. Are there ways to help a child with high functioning autism to become less fearful of dental work?"

Young people with ASD level 1, or High-Functioning Autism, have the same rate of dental problems as the general population. As hard as it is for most kids to go to the dentist, it’s even harder to have a positive dental experience for kids on the autism spectrum. Even so, there are some things you can do to improve the dental experience for your child.

Below are some tips. Some will work - some won't. But everything here is worth a try:
  1. Visit the dentist’s office before an actual visit.
  2. Have the child touch the equipment.
  3. Explain to the child what will happen.
  4. Have the child bring a comfort item like a favorite toy or blanket.
  5. It is a good idea to have a gradual and slow exposure  to the environment of the dental office so your child doesn’t get frightened by the experience.
  6. Make sure you tell the dentist how best to handle your child.
  7. Tell the dentist what works and what doesn’t work when working with your child.
  8. Remind the dentist that children with ASD are more easily overwhelmed by an overload of the senses, which can over-stimulate the child.
  9. Ask that the dentist keep the chaos in the office to a minimum.
  10. Make the child’s first visit to the dentist positive and short; have the dentist count the teeth or something else innocuous.
  11. Ask that the dentist approach the child as quietly and as non-threatening as possible.
  12. Have the dentist explain everything to the child and show the child what’s going to happen before actually doing it.
  13. Praise the child for acceptable behavior and have the child sit in the dental chair for awhile so he/she can become accustomed to it.
  14. Kids with ASD want to know what’s coming next without having to be surprised, so have the dentist tell the child where and why he needs to touch the child, especially if you’re dealing with dental equipment.
  15. Ask that the dentist talk calmly and avoids words that have double meanings; these children take everything literally, so it’s important to say exactly what you mean.
  16. Ask the dentist to start the exam using only his/her fingers.
  17. Ask the dentist to avoid shining the light in the child's eyes.
  18. Using a toothbrush to examine the teeth is a good idea because it’s a safe, familiar item. The dentist can use a dental mirror after that.
  19. Ask if you can hold your child’s hand during the dental examination.
  20. Anything that is familiar will make for a good experience.
  21. Some autistic children respond well to being lightly wrapped in a small blanket during the examination. In other cases, the child will need sedation or will need to undergo general anaesthesia in order to accomplish any significant dental work. General anaesthesia is especially important in older children that don’t respond well, even to light sedation.
  22. Lastly, you may want to have your child view the social story in video format below and see if it might help alleviate some anxiety as it relates to dentist visits. This is a true story told by an autistic child himself.
Good luck!




PARENTS' COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said... A pediatric dentist. An ultrasonic toothbrush to minimize need for dental work. Alpha-Stim for anxiety.
•    Anonymous said... find a hygenist and dentist that will take the time to work with your child not against them
•    Anonymous said... I agree find a dentist & hygenist that are willing to take the time that's needed with your son. We were referred to a pediatric dentist who specialized in special needs children...let's just say that this man shouldn't be allowed to work on ANY child. We had far better luck with a local dentist who was up for the challenge
•    Anonymous said... I found a dentist that specializes in special needs patients, and that was very helpful for my son. Hopefully you can find one in your area. good luck.
•    Anonymous said... I was terrified of the dentist when I was younger so was determined my son wouldn't be like me ( obviously didn't know until later he was an aspie ) I took him with me each time I went to the dentist from a baby and the dentist always looked at him at the same time so he doesn't have the fear. I do actually pay now though as he is no longer nhs but my son doesn't want another dentist xxx
•    Anonymous said... It will depend a lot on having a good dentist that will set him at ease. My daughter's dentist can do whatever he needs to do because he built up the trust with her first.
•    Anonymous said... My 6 year old son just had fillings done yesterday! I was really surprised how well he did!! He had the "conscious/twilight sedation" but he was pretty much awake the whole time. He drifted in & out, but did AWESOME!! See if you can find a dentist that does that type of sedation. Just be careful that he doesn't bite/chew on his lip when he is numb afterwards. My son has a very sore fat lip now.....but other than that he did great!! Best of luck!!
•    Anonymous said... My 6 yr old ASD son is so disturbed by having his face and mouth touched that every time we brush teeth it is a big struggle. He developed 3 cavities from it and when we tried to have his regular dentist feel them he had the biggest meltdown of his life. Eventually the dentist had to make a referral to the local children's hospital to have him put under, so that the cavities could be fixed. What an ordeal. Yet, he still fights me on brushing his teeth.
•    Anonymous said... My son does well with the laughing gas but we've found his issue is the noise of the tools. We also now let him listen to his MP3 or IPod while he's getting work done and life seems to be much easier.
•    Anonymous said... My son hates being touched by doctors and the dentist. Positive reinforcement, reassurance helps. My 9 year old goes to a pediatric dentist that is very good with him.
•    Anonymous said... When my Aspie son was 10 we finally got referred to the children's hospital dental clinic. We had a lot of major work done with the amazing skills of the staff there. My son found the "laughing gas" helped him relax. After many appointments the dentist kindly told my son that he now needed to learn to go back to a regular dentist, as many children were waiting to get into the children's hospital for dental work. We have been able to go to our family dentist for regular check-ups and cleanings for the last few years. It seems his positive experiences helped him change his outlook. Good luck finding the right dentist to help your son.

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The Silent Bullying of Children on the Autism Spectrum

"Josh, our 7-year-old son with [high-functioning] autism, has had 5 weeks of school so far. My husband and I have noticed a change (for the worse) in his behavior ever since he started. We suspect he is being bullied by a particular individual, but Josh has not come right out and told us if this is indeed going on. Any advice?"

Young people with ASD level 1, or High Functioning Autism, unfortunately, are at a higher risk of being bullied or teased than other children. This can happen on the playground, in the classroom - and even in your own home.

Because many of these kids have some social and communication difficulties, they often can’t tell grown-ups exactly what is happening. Thus, parents and teachers may have to consider bullying as a cause when certain behaviors occur or worsen in the child.

Here are a few examples:
  • One of the things you’ll notice is an increase in isolation and a decreased tolerance in being around peers. The ASD child may throw temper tantrums or flatly refuse to acknowledge other children, even those that he or she is normally comfortable around.
  • Enuresis or encopresis may be a side effect of being bullied.
  • A youngster who has been potty-trained completely may go back to soiling as a way of handling the stress of being bullied or teased elsewhere.

Very rarely will the autistic child tell parents or teachers directly about the bullying. Instead, the adults will find that the child has regressed with behaviors and skills that he or she has already accomplished. Instead of believing this to be an “off day” or an “off week,” parents and teachers need to consider that bullying or teasing is happening.

If bullying is happening in your own home, it requires that you remain aware of what is going on in your household and stopping the behavior before things get too serious.

If you suspect it is happening at school, then consider observing what is going on in the classroom or talk to the teacher about your suspicions. Hopefully, the teacher will be your son’s advocate in the classroom - and you can expect that the teacher will be able to intervene in any bullying that might be happening.

Bullying, unfortunately, is a risk that parents of children on the spectrum must always consider. Keeping a sharp eye out on changes in your son’s behavior and advocating for him when necessary should help him thrive in an otherwise complicated environment with peers who simply don’t understand his issues.





COMMENTS FROM PARENTS:

•    Anonymous said... Can you or another trusted adult spend any time observing? Some kids are being bullied and wouldn't know how to cope or even exactly how to describe what is happening in order to get help. There are so many steps - knowing what is happening, knowing how to talk about it, knowing how to ask for help, feeling safe from retaliation....

•    Anonymous said... Just keep a really close eye. This happened to my son and we saw no signs until he was at his breaking point. Needless to say there is no more public school for us. Kids are cruel and teachers often don't have the resources to be everywhere at once.

•    Anonymous said... My daughter has had this problem and I'm sure will continue. She would not tell us anything about it, she actually pretended to enjoy going to the place that this was happening. We only found out about it from another little girl and even then my daughter pretended that she was trying to help someone else that was being picked on and the boys turned it in her. Almost like she was herself two different people! She still does not tell us anything about what happens at school and I try to pull a another child to the side to ask how she is doing in school! My daughter, I believe, is embarrassed and ashamed by it. I would suggest making sure he knows its not him and he needs to tell, a nice call to the school and the bullying child's parents also!

•    Anonymous said... Whenever I would talk to teachers about my son coming home bruised, ketchup smeared or mere reluctant to go back to school the next day, there never was an explanation. Nobody ever saw him being bullied. Sometimes my son would say something out of the blue two weeks later. Public school is no longer an option for him, if I want to see him get through School. We have finally decided to homeschool him. Once he found out that he is not going back there, all that anxiety is gone. He stopped biting his nails and he is now a jolly happy 7 year old contently riding his bike or playing lego, humming and singing all the way! I do realize that he is still a target in the neighborhood. I try to keep a close eye on him and talk to him about behaviour that provokes kids to mistreat him. Hopefully it works.

•    Anonymous said... I would start talking about bullying in a neutral way. That might encourage him to open up.

•    Anonymous said... Then I would speak to the school....

•    Anonymous said... It is tricky to ask the right question since the HFA/Aspergers child has a tendency to be so literal.

•    Anonymous said... We had quite the "experiences" throughout my son's school years and we didn't see "eye to eye" with all the staff BUT there was never a time where I ever felt uncomfortable with expressing my concerns to the staff and asking them to keep an extra close eye out during our most difficult times (when we felt bulllying was taking place). Always utilize your resources. The staff is there to help be your eyes and ears when you aren't able to be around. All you have to do is ask for the help. Good luck!

•    Anonymous said... our son has this prob this year he graduated 5 grade & will be going to middle school he used to love school weve done all talking w/teacher/principle/case worker butt still i fear the worst is yet to come if u find a better way let me know ty

•    Anonymous said... I dont think all kids with Aspergers always know when they are being teased. My sons school is awesome. They even noted on his IEP that they need to be more aware of teasing and bullying against him. Because he may not always recognize it.

•    Jenny said... Our son had rocks thrown at him by a neighbor kid. Yet he still considered them his friend. I had to explain to him what true friends were and how they should treat you I'd they we're truly your friend. He was sad about it, but it did help him understand why they couldn't come over.

•    Anonymous said... Tricky maybe, example..'I read this article today about bullying in school, how does bullying make you feel Johnny?'. Depending, of course, on the child, you have to figure out what they can relate to. Everyone is different and beautiful! :)

•    Anonymous said... Many times they will not come out and tell you this is happening. It's like pulling sharks teeth just to get my son to tell us what he did at school that day. You're going to need to talk to his teacher.

•    Anonymous said... I heard so and so was doing mean things to someone, can you help me understand what is happening at school. what have you seen xyz do or say?

•    Anonymous said... My Son has major challenges at camps over Summer/Winter breaks with behavior. Alas, it's due to anxiety and lack of daily routine and structure. Consider those issues as well. Good luck.

•    Anonymous said... As long as the team there doesn't look after it, you shouldn't let a 7-year-old child stay there. (Regardsless of AS or not. Kids can be severly mean.) Your son cannot handle it alone and may be injured, either physical or psychical. 

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Coping with Birthday Parties: Tips for Parents of Kids on the Autism Spectrum

"My autistic son (high functioning) will be turning 6 next week. We are considering having a birthday party for him and inviting a few of his neighborhood friends over. However, in times past, he has not done well with all the hustle and bustle that comes with 'partying'. Do you have any ideas about how we can have a better experience this time so that things don't result in a meltdown?"

Exciting times like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and birthdays are all a time to share our joy and happiness with our families and friends. We all have fond memories of our own childhood when we looked forward to putting up the decorations, eating mouth watering meals, and receiving all those longed for presents.

As moms and dads, we naturally want our kids to enjoy it all  and have as much fun as we did. So we talk, anticipate, and prepare with mounting excitement as the child's birthday draws nearer. 
 
However, for those parents who are raising a youngster with ASD or High-Functioning Autism, it often adds up to an almighty headache! Why? Because these "special needs" kids can have a real hard time coping with all of excitement and anticipation.

Anticipation for a child on the autism spectrum leads to increased levels of anxiety, which he can't control. He becomes overloaded, and then you have a massive meltdown at the time when you are all supposed to be enjoying and celebrating his birthday! The party is often ruined and everybody upset, especially your son who is trying so hard to fit in and be like everybody else.

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with ASD

So how can you achieve the impossible and enjoy the occasion while at the same time keeping your son calm and behaving appropriately?
  1. The first simple step to take is to simply reduce the time talking about the joyous occasion. Remember, your son can't easily control his emotions, and to chatter constantly about the event will simply lead to stress and anxiety. It is also useful to enlist the help of others in your home in this and keep any conversations to a minimum while your son is around.
  2. Another great strategy to help is to keep any physical changes to your home to the minimum. So by all means decorate, put up balloons, and have cake, but just don’t make a big fuss about it all.
  3. Also, don't put out any presents until the day they are to be opened, because your son will have a hard time keeping his hands off and will became anxious and potentially defiant.
  4. Although it’s important not to overload your son, it is equally important to explain any changes to his routines. So prepare him for any changes by calmly telling him the day before what will be happening. Visual supports always work well, so use photos or simple pictures to explain what will be happening.
  5. It is also important to explain to your son what is expected of him (e.g., to say 'hello, how are you' to guests and sit at the table to share the birthday cake).
  6. Your son will also need to be given permission to leave the festivities if he starts to get out-of-control, and you can rehearse this together with some simple role play. This is really important as it gives him an exit strategy and also allows him to get through the party without going into meltdown. Additionally, if you see that your son is becoming distressed, you can activate an "exit cue" so he gets out before the situation deteriorates.




Following these simple steps should lead to a much more positive experience for everyone and will provide your child with the love, support, reassurance - and above all confidence - to participate fully in his birthday celebration.

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD

 
Comments from Parents:

•    Anonymous said... My 12 yr old Aspie son HATES parties. He doesn't even like for us to sing Happy Birthday to him, he starts crying - yet he loves music class at school. Go figure. We've had his birthday parties at his favorite places - bowling, mini-golf, Chuck E. Cheese, etc. He hated it. So we tried to have one at home and invited over only his best friend and his family. Can we say meltdown?!? He turns 13 this coming November and I really wanted to celebrate it, but he says PLEASE, no party. Soooooooooooo.... no party. I really feel that it's because most Aspies crave/require structure, and parties, by nature, are anything but structured.

•    Anonymous said... i completely sympathize here! we try to have parties for our now 9 year old and this year we decided against if finally because of how worked up he gets and he never enjoys it :(

•    Anonymous said... Our son loves museums so when he turned 10 we gave him the choice of a big party, or taking his cousins and going to the museum with just the 3 of them. He chose the museum and they all had a great time. It was a wonderful alternative to a stressful party.

•    Anonymous said... My son used to cry when we sang Happy Birthday. We've tried big birthday parties where we have gotten maybe three kids there from an entire class. This year we are doing a party but a very small one and will just invite the people he is closest to.

•    Anonymous said... Who says a party has to be big? Invite 2 or 3 friends. Plan an activity they will all enjoy. Could be a board game or a craft or even a video game. The point is to have fun. Maybe try cupcakes instead of a cake and not too many decorations. Sometimes less is more !

•    Anonymous said... Ask him what he wants. Maybe a day with mom and dad that he can plan with you would be awesome. Dad could cook his favorite breakfast (or go out if it's possible), then mom could do an activity with him. Then for dinner have his fave people there. My aspie thinks so different than I do, sometimes he has an idea of fun that I would never think of.

•    Anonymous said... We keep Julian's parties simple.. Not a lot of other kids because all the noise can cause a meltdown.. We keep it to one activity, cake and presents. Also we talk to him about it in advance.

•    Anonymous said... We did my boys film parties (luckily we have a projector in the house) so set up a few chairs, invited a few friends and did cinema food, got the boys to pick the film and they sat and watched. That way they had friends round, it was their party, but in familiar surroundings and without lots of noise and excitement :-)

•    Anonymous said... Holidays are especially stressful and equal more meltdowns... thanks for the tips!

•    Anonymous said... We've learned to change our opinion on what makes a b-day special. Why freak a kid out on their own b-day?? Ask what THEY want to do, and do that. The day is about joy and love, not balloons, clowns, crowds and cake. Follow their lead and let them determine what will make them happy.

•    Anonymous said... My son is five and we are in line for him to be evaluated for aspergers. We saw 1 woman who didn't even talk to him and just asked us a few questions and was ready to diagnose him based on a few things we said. Anyway, he has always been very afraid of people singing happy birthday, not only at his parties but at anyone's birthday. If we are going to a bday party he asks us in advance if they will be singing happy birthday and to tell them to whisper. Other than that though, he loves birthday parties as long as their isn't a lot of loud noise.

•    Anonymous said... I agree with other posters. We have split up celebrations thruout the week. She wants cupcakes @ school-early dinner (avoid crowds) @ her choice place. We have same 2 friends over for a fun day with same activities for last 2 yrs. It bores me but they have fun! So be it!

•    Anonymous said... Let him decide what he would like to do. There are so many fun things to do to celebrate his birthday without adding in needless stress for him.

•    Anonymous said... We just had DS's 7th birthday and it went really well. We kept it short and structured, at home and only a few friends that he picked. Each boy got a Lego race car to build, then they all went outside with their cars and chalk to draw roads and play with them, then we had cupcakes and opened presents. Quick, predictable and manageable :)

•    Anonymous said... Pick a place or a theme that your child likes. For my son's ninth birthday, we knew there was a robotics learning store that he loves going to. They offer birthday party packages that included most of food, supplies and entertainment. Our son loved it because it was a place he was familiar with and knew the staff. It was an activity that he loved doing....so he felt comfortable. The other kids and their parents all loved it because they had never heard or it, thought the robots were cool, and it was easy. Most of the dads that came seemed to have as much fun as their sons. It worked well.

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Medications, Supplements, and Dietary Strategies for HFA and AS

"Obviously there's no 'cure' for autism, but are there any medications or supplements that parents have used that help treat some of the symptoms in their high-functioning autistic child?"

There are no medications that specifically treat High-Functioning Autism (HFA) or Aspergers (AS), but there are some medications, supplements, and dietary strategies that may improve certain associated symptoms (e.g., anxiety, depression, hyperactivity, etc.) that can occur in many kids on the autism spectrum.

Some examples include the following:

1. SSRIs: Drugs such as Luvox may be used to treat depression or to help control repetitive behaviors. Possible side effects include restlessness and agitation.

2. Risperdal: This medication may be prescribed for agitation and irritability. It may cause trouble sleeping, a runny nose and an increased appetite. This drug has also been associated with an increase in cholesterol and blood sugar levels.

3. Zyprexa: Olanzapine is sometimes prescribed to reduce repetitive behaviors. Possible side effects include increased appetite, drowsiness, weight gain, and increased blood sugar and cholesterol levels.

4. Revia: This medication, which is sometimes used to help alcoholics stop drinking, may help reduce some of the repetitive behaviors associated with HFA and AS. However, the use of low-dose naltrexone (doses as low as two to four mg a day) has been gaining favor recently. But, there's no good evidence that such low doses have any effect on the disorder.

5. Intuniv: This medication may be helpful for the problems of hyperactivity and inattention in kids on the autism spectrum. Side effects may include drowsiness, irritability, headache, constipation and bed-wetting.

6. Abilify: This drug may be effective for treating irritability related to the disorder. Side effects may include weight gain and an increase in blood sugar levels.


Because there are no definitive treatments for HFA or AS, some moms and dads may turn to complementary or alternative therapies. However, most of these treatments haven't been adequately studied. It's possible that by focusing on alternative treatments, you may miss out on behavior therapies that have more evidence to support their use.

Of greater concern, however, is that some treatments may not be safe. The FDA has warned about over-the-counter chelation medications. These drugs have been marketed as a therapy for autism and other conditions. Chelation is a therapy that removes heavy metals from the body, but there are no over-the-counter chelation therapies that are approved by the FDA. This type of therapy should only be done under the close supervision of medical professionals. According to the FDA, the risks of chelation include dehydration, kidney failure and even death.

Other examples of alternative therapies that have been used for HFA and AS include:

1. Avoidance diets: Some moms and dads have turned to gluten-free or casein-free diets to treat Aspergers. There's no clear evidence that these diets work, and anyone attempting such a diet for their youngster needs guidance from a registered dietitian to ensure the child's nutritional requirements are met.

2. Melatonin: Sleep problems are common in kids on the spectrum, and melatonin supplements may help regulate the youngster's sleep-wake cycle. The recommended dose is 3 mg, 30 minutes before bedtime. Possible side effects include excessive sleepiness, dizziness and headache.

3. Other dietary supplements: Numerous dietary supplements have been tried in children with HFA and AS. Those that may have some evidence to support their use include: Carnosine, Omega-3 fatty acids, Vitamin B-6, Magnesium, and Vitamin C (usually in combination with other vitamins).

4. Secretin: This gastrointestinal hormone has been tried as a potential treatment. Numerous studies have been conducted on secretin, and none found any evidence that it helps.

Other therapies that have been tried, but lack objective evidence to support their use include:
  • transcranial magnetic stimulation
  • massage and craniosacral massage
  • immune therapies
  • hyperbaric oxygen therapy
  • chiropractic manipulations
  • antifungal drugs
  • antibiotics



This is a serious issue and a difficult one for parents to deal with. It is almost impossible for any parent to know all of the potential risks associated with medications. Speak with your physician and your pharmacist about any medications your child may need to take. Keep asking questions until you feel that you are prepared. Your local pharmacist is a wealth of information about the medications he or she is dispensing and can be a valuable resource.


More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book


==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism


COMMENTS FROM PARENTS:

•    Anonymous said... I have decided to start our 12 year old son on melatonin for getting off to sleep. I don't know how that will work yet. We use to give him daily "rescue remedy" herbal drops when he was feeling nervous which seemed to help a little.

•    Anonymous said... I take a low dose of antidepressants, and have since I was 15. It helps with the anxiety, especially socially

•    Anonymous said... It is hit or miss with what chemical reaction works for any individual and their body. I giver our household Omega 3 supplement pilss with olive oil, safflower oil, ++ recommended brand that helps all of us with focus. my Aspie uses Adderrall 20mg in the AM and then 5mg in the afternoon to get him through til bedtime. he says the pills help his brain to not overwhelm him and we visually see a difference in 30 minutes from the time he takes his pill on his body control and ability to respond to his own needs and others talking to him.

•    Anonymous said... Low dose anti-depressant, plus Atenelol to help with impulsivity.

•    Anonymous said... My daughter does not have the hyperactivity with her ADD...That would actually help. Most of those kinds of meds would make her worse...as they tent to treat the hyper part. Is there something that can make her focus without the drowsiness part?

•    Anonymous said... My daughter is 10 weeks into Lovan (anti depressant) I cannot tell you the difference it has made for not only our family but mostly for her. For the first time she is a happy 9 year old that enjoys life without the stress, anxiety, depression, anger, impulsiveness the list goes on!! It is only early days yet, but I wish we had considered this a year ago when it was first offered. She has high functioning autism/aspergers, and recently the pead thinks she is exhibiting ADHD tendencies. There are minor side affects such as a little tiredness which just makes it harder to do homework (care factor zero), a little loose bowel movements and weight loss. So far she has lost 2.5kgs which is fine as he felt she was slightly over the recommended weight anyway. Will just have to keep an eye on it for now. Everyone is different, but so far we have had a positive experience

•    Anonymous said... My son is 7 years old and he is on Risperidone, Zoloft at night and Ritalin. I NEVER wanted to medicate him, but after many consultations we were left with no choice. He is happy, and is a lot more focused.

•    Anonymous said... My son started on Prozac (generic) a year ago, after we resisted the idea of med for a long time. He still takes the starter dose, in liquid form. Takes it together with cran-grape juice to mute the taste. It made him drowsy the first few weeks, but now it's just a good thing to calm his panicky edge, so he is less reactive, hostile, defensive. His humor can shine through, he can calmly consider options, etc. Of course everyone's different. Oh, also has long half-life, so if forget a dose it's not a dramatic up/down.

•    Anonymous said... Risperdal or abilify and adderral. Huge difference in behaviors. I too refused to medicate until my son was 8 he is now 16. My decision changed his life monumentally (no pun intended lol). If you don't offer the medication, you are doing a grave disservice to them and your entire family.

•    Anonymous said... My son who has Aspergers has been taking Low Dose Naltrexone, as mentioned in this article for a year now. He started on 3mg and now is at 4.5mg 2x per day. Once in the morning and once at night before bed. It has helped with his mood, energy, and production and he hardly gets colds or other illnesses anymore. I am also taking it at 4.5mgs per day for Fibromyalgia and am pain free because of it.

•    Anonymous said... My 14 year old son's dr wants to try Abilify for aggression. I am afraid of some side effects. Anyone else tried this med and been met with alarming side effects such as stiffened muscles and twitches?

•    Anonymous said... my sons doctor referred to ability and reaper idol as "the big guns" and wanted to try an sari med first. She said that while it was more anxiety causing the aggression than depression, the med would treat both. Also, for our daughter, we got her off meds with a product called stress relief complex. It can be found at autism.myshaklee.com.

•    Anonymous said... I highly recommend Namenda. Research it.

•    Katina said... We got the results we wanted with Abilify, but my 13 year old daughter gained 50 pounds in 9 months. She's been off it for 4 months, and has lost 20 pounds so far.

•    Caren said... My son has Aspergers and general anxiety disorder. We avoided drugs until 3rd grade, when we put him n risperadal. Then I felt bad for not getting him on drugs earlier. Unfortunately for us, risperadal had a small sweet spot for our son, where too much caused more aggression, and after a growth spurt we couldn't find it again. We were on a merry go round of different drugs, so at one point I took him off of everything to see what he was like unmedicated. Unmedicated for us means daily meltdowns with physical aggression. So we slowly added medications back, attempting to max out the benefit of a drug before adding another or deciding to try something else. My son is 13 now, and takes depakote, abilify, and lexapro. They enable him to remain calm enough to think and use his "tools" to avoid a melt down. Depakote has been the difference between physical aggression that would make it impossible for him to stay in our home and a normal life. Luckily, we live in Chicago and have access to top medical facilities. The depakote and abilify have caused him to gain weight, so we watch his diet. He has blood tests every few months to monitor drug levels in his blood and insure everything is fine. We were anti medication when we started this journey, but the relief and happiness that my son feels now that he has enough self-control have convinced us it was the right treatment for him.

•    We have had no bad side effects, other than weight gain. I recommend trying meds, but doing it slowly and only one medicine at a time. If it doesn't work, then stop, but when it does work, life becomes so much easier.

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High-Functioning Autism and Anxiety Overload

"Our child (high functioning) gets quite worried and anxious about most things that fall out of his comfort zone. Problem is, we are never really sure what is in - and what is out - of this zone. Any tips for a very anxious little boy?"

Autism spectrum disorders and anxiety often go hand-in-hand. High Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger's (AS) may affect a youngster’s ability to communicate effectively with others and to understand the world around him -- and that’s bound to cause anxiety. 
 
Anxiety can become even worse when there is a change in the child’s routine. Even positive and “fun” changes (e.g., school field trip, visit to the zoo) can increase anxiety and aggressive behaviors.

For parents, the best course of action is to anticipate upcoming changes and help the child prepare for them. Many moms and dads find it helpful to use social stories and pictures to prepare their "special needs" child for impending disruptions.

If it’s a field trip to the zoo, for example, use pictures to show your son what he’ll see at the zoo, what the zoo will be like, and what sort of things to expect. Do this each day for three or four days prior to the trip. That way, when the trip actually happens, your son won’t be entirely out of his element, but will already understand and appreciate some of what will be happening.

This father reported the following: “Social stories and plans do the trick for my son. we use plans also to become familiar with the fact of change: we put them up together on a piece of paper for the activity in question, and he takes it with him. if something changes he notes it down on the plan. we do this often as a game: he is the news reporter and takes notes during the activities and tells me all about afterwards.” 
 
==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's
 

Other changes in routine are less enjoyable, but still necessary. Getting a new teacher can be traumatic, as can moving to a new house. If at all possible, try to spread out the major changes. If you move to a new house, try to do it during the summer, so that your son won’t have to deal with the added anxiety of getting a new school and new teacher mid-year.

You can also introduce your son to the concept of “change” in a positive way by practicing with non-negative things. For example, just for practice, give him a little extra TV time instead of homework time one night, to show that changes in the routine can often be fun and good. Then practice with a neutral change (e.g., homework after dinner instead of before dinner), then with a negative one (e.g., changing play time into chore time). This process can help your son grow accustomed to the idea of change and learn to adapt without becoming anxious.

As one mother stated, "We have two boys, one diagnosed, and one suspected. They both have different triggers for anxiety and both have very different personalities. We find they need more preparation in advance, they need to know it may make them uncomfortable, and that it will end. We suggest coping strategies beforehand, and sometimes we have code words so they don't feel singled out by our suggesting coping strategies for them in the situation. Sometimes, the only solution is to take them out of the situation and trying another run at it another time."

Another parent had this to say, “Just roll with it. let him guide you. he is the driver in his world quite frankly. my child is the same. he gets very nervous and anxious about trying new things like sports, which he is very great at, but he's afraid people are watching him and picking on him, so he wont participate. maybe some confidence boosters of some sort will help. mine 13 y.o. is still this way. he sure would make one heck of a basketball player, but just wont do it. and I dont make him. I let him drive his life. and with gentle loving guidance he does ok.”





For continual, severe anxiety, some moms and dads have begun using anti-anxiety medications for their HFA and AS children. Usually, the medications are selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) (also used for obsessive-compulsive disorder and depression). Prozac, Luvox, Zoloft and Anafranil are all common medications for anxiety in these young people.

Medication should be the last resort for anxiety, not the first. You and your doctor should monitor your child’s progress very closely, using the lowest dose of medication possible, to see if what improvements it makes and whether there are any adverse reactions. There are a number of natural remedies available if you don’t want to go down the drug route. But try behavioral and dietary modifications first, to see what improvements can be made naturally.

==> Need some tips on how to handle your child's fixations and obsessions? You'll find more than you'll need right here...

30 Famous Autistic People in History

Coping with Transitions: Tips for Teachers of Students on the Autism Spectrum

"One of my new students this year has Autism (high functioning female, age 6). She will throw a major temper tantrum whenever she is asked to stop one activity and get ready for the next one, which is very disruptive to the entire class. What can I do to help her move from one task to the next quickly and without resistance? It's like she has to complete the first project completely and perfectly before she is willing to go to the next."

First of all, your student may be experiencing a "meltdown" rather than a tantrum (click here to see the difference). Transitions are very difficult for children with ASD, or High-Functioning Autism. It's an interruption to their day and a change in their schedule. In order to minimize difficulty in transition, try to keep their schedule as routine as possible. Always let them know ahead of time that a transition in routine is coming. 

Using sensory integration techniques can be very helpful for some ASD students. It is best to have an occupational therapist work with you to first determine if your student is hyper-sensitive or hypo-sensitive (e.g., does she crave movement and the feeling of different textures and stimulation, or does she avoid movement and textures?).

There was a young autistic student who had a great deal of difficulty with the transition from home to school, and with transitions that occurred in his school day. The school created a sensory room that was just his. He craved movement, running and jumping on furniture, loved to feel his saliva against smooth surfaces, and loved strong odors. In his sensory room, there was a large hammock for him to lie in that would hold him tight. 
 
The ceiling was lined with colored lights. There were boxes with potpourri for him to smell. He would spend 20 minutes in this room at the beginning of his school day, 20 minutes before lunch, and 20 minutes before returning home. While he was in the room, he was encouraged to take in as much sensory information as he could. Once he left the room, he was calm and ready to learn.

Of course, not every school has the resources for a sensory room - and this won't work for every "special needs" student - but demonstrates how some creative thinking can benefit even the most challenging behaviors. Prior to the intervention of the sensory room, the school was ready to expel him. With the sensory room in place, he became much more compliant, calm and willing to work with teachers and other students.




 
Here are some additional techniques that will help make transitions easier for your autistic student:

•    When attempting a transition, keep the focus on the enjoyment your student had with her activity and ask questions while you move on to the next activity. It helps her shift from being upset about leaving the current activity to keeping the good feeling with her longer (it’s like saying, “Don’t be upset that the activity is over …be happy that it happened”).

•    Try to avoid giving sudden orders and directions. Before wanting your student to transition, go into her “safe zone” (i.e., whatever she is doing at the moment) and connect with her mentally, emotionally and physically. Talk to your student about what she is doing or something she truly loves. Then, keep that connection going and take it with you while you both move to the next activity.

•    Talk to your student about transitions, and be willing to listen and observe. A good way to start a discussion about transitions, in general, is through social stories. Consider creating a story around “how to calmly move from one task to the next.”

•    Picture schedules and cards can be helpful for ASD students who have a hard time following verbal directions. Pointing to the picture of the next activity, or handing your student the picture and letting her carry it to the next activity can be helpful in transitioning.

•    Give your student a notice when transitions are approaching. A simple, "In 10 minutes, we are going to do our history lessons," is enough to give her a little warning. This lets your student know she should be finishing up what she is working on and allows her the chance to ease into a new state of mind.

•    Create a list of “classroom rules” and review them with your student periodically. The rules should include what to do during specific transitions (e.g., how to move from study-time to getting ready for recess). Post the rules where your student can see them. She will become accustomed to the rules, and understand what to do and what to expect throughout the day.

•    Allow your student enough time to transition. Whether you are preparing for a short-term transition from reading-time to lunch-time, remember that children on the spectrum process change in their own time; they need time to “grow through” the change depending on how drastic that change is going to be.

Transitions will always be difficult for kids on the autism spectrum. Developmentally, they're simply not well-equipped to leave an activity they're enjoying and move to a potentially less desirable one. But thankfully, there are many ways teachers can help their students through these transitions.


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD

 
PARENTS' COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said... Also a lot of the tips work well for all kids of that age. That way it won't make her feel singled out and self conscious which can cause more meltdowns. I know my daughter is a perfectionist and has high expectations of herself. Anything that makes her feel like she stands out negatively will push her tolerance threshold.
•    Anonymous said... Count downs have saved our little guy from time to leave, to bath, to bed and even on trips, always needs to see the count down
•    Anonymous said... Do you have the day's schedule written out? How about a reminder that you are changing tasks in 5 minutes, then 3..
•    Anonymous said... I always give my Aspie daughters a five minute warning before doing a new activity, leaving the park, leaving a friend's house, etc. "Do your last favorite thing," is what I would tell them when they were younger. It seems to work really well! They know what to expect and what is expected of them.
•    Anonymous said... I found that visual timetables DIDN'T really work for my aspie son, but giving him real reason why something needed to happen was the key. He understands reasons. The Time Timer (you can get various sizes from the Sue Larkey website) was and still is the best tool in my arsenal though. Having THAT visual gave him some element of control back. Also giving them the opportunity to finish at a later time can sometimes help. If they finish other work quickly or instead of play...My son would recognise that this was our routine and then transition better knowing that he could come back to it.
•    Anonymous said... I give a fifteen minute countdown with a reminder at each 5 minute mark. Your class environment will go as smoothly as you plan it to. Learn about Aspergers and talk to her parents. They will give you tips and they'll work iF you follow through with them.
•    Anonymous said... Let her finish the first project.
•    Anonymous said... please listen to the parents about what works best for them at home and adjust that accordingly to fit your particular needs. I have had little success with teachers over the past seven years mainly in part to them not being willing to try the simplest strategies. The child will only benefit if she is comfortable at any given moment and there is an open line of communication between the teachers and parents.
•    Anonymous said... She still might be overwhelmed despite a countdown (I would be); do you have free time built in where she/they can finish unfinished activities? She might also feel better knowing she can come back to it before the end of the day (and knowing exactly when, not "later").
•    Anonymous said... We had this problem in kindergarten. I give my 7 year old daughter a run down of what we will do that day, and then warning half an hour before the event, and I know I will have to get her new teacher to do the same cos it's worked best for us. Now that she can tell time, I can do that as well ("We are going at 10:00 am," etc)
•    Anonymous said... without reading all of the previous comments..... From experience (16 yr old) there is no such thing as 'quickly, without resistance' ! ..... The key is regular warnings/countdowns to the change over time AND as Rebecca ^ stated....'real/true/logical' reasoning...these kids are smart and because they are so black and white....very, very realistic!
•    Anonymous said... Would it hurt you or the other students to give her a little more time and let her finish? I'm sure the "melt down" (not temper tantrum) effect's the other students way more then trying to force her to stop a activity. In my son's IEP he is allowed to get up and wonder around in the class room or go outside. He is not expected to do what all the other students are doing....he isn't the same.
•    Anonymous said... Written schedules help tremendously. Come up with a signal that she and you agree on to let her know the transition is coming, and give her double the warning you give the other kids.
•    Anonymous said... You can't expect anyone with aspergers to transition quickly. They need prompting and visuals. The Time Timer is a wonderful tool. It's useful for all kids and doesn't single her out. Visual schedules posted clearly and reviewed every morning are also helpful for all kids. Don't assume because she has a dx that there aren't other kids in the class being overlooked, treat them all the same and things will run smoothly:) Anytime you sneak attack a change in routine, expect the behaviors. Guess what, we as adults are no different. Think about a traffic jam and you have a schedule to keep;) Unmet expectations are frustrating to us all. We need clear cut expectations. Be patient and good luck.

 

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