Below are our top picks for products that can be used to calm your child whenever he or she is frustrated, angry, over-stimulated, or about to "meltdown." However, we recommend that your child not be granted free access to these items, rather they should be reserved for those times when he or she is beginning to have strong emotions and needs to "self-soothe" as a result.
Relieves Stress and Increases Focus - Bundle Sensory Twisted Squeeze Fidget Toys Set (15 PACK)
Blue Weighted Compression Vest - Small (5-8) - Helps With Mood & Attention, Sensory Over Responding, Sensory Seeking, Travel Issues
Sensory Sox Body Socks - For Sensory Processing Issues - Deep Pressure Simulation Body Blanket Great for Dynamic Movement
5 lb Children's (for 50lb individual) 36"x48" Navy Blue and Gray Weighted Blanket with Dotted Minkey Cover. Fall Asleep Faster - Perfect for kids with Anxiety, OCD, Stress, ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorders
Glowing LED Night Light - Twinkle Star Shape - Plush Pillow Stuffed Toys
Light Up Smiling Moon Throw Pillow - Sparkling Moon Plush Toy with 7 Colors Change LED Lighting
Snug Kids Earmuffs / Best Hearing Protectors – Adjustable Headband Ear Defenders For Children w/ Auditory Sensitivities
Pull, Stretch & Squeeze Stress Balls - 3 Pack - Elastic Construction Sensory Balls - Ideal For Stress & Anxiety Relief, Special Needs, Autism
Young Aspergers (AS) and High-Functioning Autistic (HFA) teens entering high school look forward to having more choices and making new and more friends; however, they also are concerned about being picked on and teased by older students, having harder work, making lower grades, and getting lost in a larger, unfamiliar school.
As these "special needs" teens make the transition into high school, many experience a decline in grades and attendance. They view themselves more negatively and experience an increased need for friendships. By the end of the 10th grade as many as 6% drop out of school. For middle school students, including those who have been labeled "gifted" or "high-achieving," the transition into high school can be an especially unpleasant experience.
Research has found, however, that when middle school students with AS and HFA took part in a high school transition program with several diverse articulation activities, fewer students were retained in the transition grade. Furthermore, middle school principals indicated that they expected fewer of their students to drop out before graduation when the school provided supportive advisory group activities or responsive remediation programs.
Providing students on the autism spectrum with activities that relate directly to their transition into high school certainly is important; however, providing them with a challenging and supportive middle school experience is an equally important factor in their making a successful transition into high school. Research reveals that AS and HFA students who stayed together with the same educators through sixth, seventh, and eighth grades - and experienced more hands-on, life-related learning activities, integrated instruction, and cooperative learning groups were more successful in their transition to high school than were students from the same school who had a more traditional middle school experience.
AS and HFA students have also indicated that if their middle school educators had held them more responsible for their learning, taught them more about strategies for learning on their own, and provided them a more challenging curriculum, their transition to high school would have been easier.
A good high school transition program includes a variety of activities that (1) provide children and parents with information about the new school, (2) provide children with social support during the transition, and (3) bring middle school and high school personnel together to learn about the curriculum and requirements.
Middle school students on the spectrum want to know what high school is going to be like, and they and their parents need to know about and understand high school programs and procedures well in advance. In particular, moms and dads need to be actively involved in the decisions their eighth-graders are asked to make about classes they will take in ninth grade and understand the long-term effects of the course decisions.
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Some of the ways AS and HFA teens can learn about high school include:
"shadowing" a current high school student
attending a fall orientation assembly (preferably before school starts)
attending a presentation by a high school student or panel of students
discussing high school regulations and procedures with eighth-grade educators and counselors
participating in face-to-face activities
visiting the high school in the fall for schedule information
visiting the high school in the spring
In addition, high school students can, either as a class or club project, set up a Website that would provide incoming students information on different high school activities and clubs and offer them an opportunity to get answers to any questions they may have from the "experts."
At a time when friendships and social interaction are particularly important for young teens on the autism spectrum, the normative transition into high school often serves to disrupt friendship networks and, thereby, interferes with students' success in high school. Thus, it is vital for a transition program to include activities that will provide incoming students social support activities that give students the opportunity to get to know and develop positive relationships with older students and other incoming students.
Methods of social support include:
"Big Sister/Brother" Program that begins in eighth grade and continues through ninth grade
Peer mentoring programs
Spring social event for current and incoming high school students
Tutoring programs
Writing programs where eighth-graders correspond with high school students
Tips for Teachers: 29 Ways to Build Confidence in Students with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism
PARENT INVOLVEMENT—
The importance of parents being involved in their child’s transition from middle to high school can hardly be overestimated. When moms and dads are involved in their child’s transition to high school, they tend to stay involved in his/her school experiences. Also, when parents are involved in their child's high school experiences, the student (statistically speaking) has a higher level of achievement, is better adjusted, and is less likely to drop out of school.
Parent involvement in the transition process to high school can be encouraged through a variety of activities. Parents may:
be invited to participate in a conference (preferably at the middle school) with their child and the high school counselor to discuss course work and schedules
help design and facilitate some of the articulation activities for students
spend a day at the high school to help them understand what their child's life will be like
visit the high school with their child in the spring or in the fall
Note: Parents of students who are already in high school are an excellent resource for other parents and may also help to encourage new parents to be more involved in school activities.
1. A week or so before school starts in the fall, make sure your adolescent gets another tour of the school. Help him find his locker and practice opening it. Take his schedule and walk from class to class in the order he will have to go each day. If the schedule is not the same every day, make sure you practice with him/her all the different variations. Visit the cafeteria and talk about the different options for eating lunch, bring lunch from home or buying hot lunch.
2. Arrange for your adolescent to meet all of her educators before the first day of school. This is something that would best be done over several days so your adolescent is not overwhelmed.
3. Get a catalogue of courses offered as soon as it is available and start looking at it with your adolescent. Talk about classes that will be required to graduate and classes that your adolescent has a special interest in.
4. If possible, plan for your 8th grader to spend time at the high school during his 8th grade year. If the schools are close together it might be possible for your 8th grader to spend his study hall time working in the library at the high school, working as a teacher's assistant, or being an office helper. Or perhaps your adolescent can take a class at the high school during his 8th grade year.
5. If the high school has a mentor program for incoming freshmen try and have your adolescent meet his mentor over the summer, for ice cream or a soda, to get to know each other a little.
6. If your adolescent has an IEP (individual education plan) make sure all of his/her educators are aware of the IEP and take time to briefly discuss with each of them the most critical issues for your adolescent.
7. If your adolescent will ride the school bus, visit the bus stop by your home and locate the drop off spot at the high school. Figure out which door they will use to enter the school and how to find their locker from that door. Make sure your adolescent knows where they will catch the bus in the afternoon and how to identify which bus they will ride on. If this is your adolescent's first experience with a school bus, make sure the bus driver is aware of your adolescent's special needs and that they will keep a careful eye on your adolescent to make sure they get off at the correct spot.
8. In the spring make sure your adolescent gets a tour of the high school, meeting key people like the principal, counselors, special education staff, front office staff, and library staff.
9. Make arrangements with the high school for your adolescent to sit in on a few classes towards the end of his 8th grade year. If possible arrange for your adolescent to visit classes of educators he/she will have the following year. Also, arrange for someone to sit in on the classes with your adolescent, a counselor, special ed teacher, etc.
10. Make arrangements with the school for your adolescent to have one special person who will be their "go to" person if they have any questions or difficulties.
11. Start planning early for the change. The beginning of 8th grade is not too soon to start having conversation with school personnel about ways to make it easier for the next year.
12. Start talking about college and what your adolescent will have to do to get ready.
13. Start talking about how great high school will be and how you think you adolescent will really enjoy being there. (You are planting positive ideas, so try and sound very positive).
14. Have the school assign a compassionate student to be your adolescent's lunch buddy for the first week of school so he/she does not have to eat alone. Sometimes schools are willing to assign a buddy for each class too. This can be helpful in making your Aspergers adolescent feel more accepted by his/her peers.
15. Plan to touch base with each of your adolescents educators by email after the first 1-2 days of school to see how things are progressing. Arrange to have an in person meeting with the educators during the second week of school. (By that time they have had a chance to figure out who your youngster is and you can give them more information about Aspergers and what has worked best for your youngster in the past. Be sure to thank them for their willingness to help your unique youngster have a great year and offer to help them in any way you can.)
CBD oil is gaining traction among parents of kids on the autism spectrum. As one parent states, “Our son is almost completely weaned off of drugs since beginning CBD treatment. He is more focused in school, able to stay on task, understand and follow classroom multi-step directions, complete school work, and is no longer at a ‘plateau’ and able to grasp new concepts. His eye contact is better, his language is more thought-out and he is able to create meaningful sentences and his annunciation is clearer. He also seems happier, in general.”
Why should you consider CBD oil for your Asperger’s or High-Functioning Autistic child? Well, first we need to look at the Endocannabinoid System (ECS).
Many of the symptoms that children on the autism spectrum experience are directly related to the functions of the body’s ECS. This system is the largest regulatory system in the body and controls appetite, memory, mood, motor control, pain, pleasure and reward, sleep, temperature regulation, and immune function. We have ECS receptors in almost every cell, and when the ECS is disrupted, any one of these things can fall out of balance.
A 2013 study (click here for the study) found dysfunctions in cannabinoid receptors on immune cells in children on the autism spectrum, and it was an “aha” moment researchers. Another study (found here) looked at CBD oil and how it is becoming an increasingly popular treatment for anxiety and sleep issues in children – and is an effective alternative to pharmaceutical medications.
Since CBD oil has little to no THC, it will not affect the mental process in kids or cause them to feel “high.” Already there are good results from moms and dads who have used CBD oil to treat their "special needs" kids. These products are available for you now.
Below are our top picks for hemp oil based on popular reviews. Hemp oil is obtained by pressing hemp seeds, and should not be confused with hash oil, which is made from the Cannabis flower.
"How can I help my teen with autism (high functioning) to not be so negative? He tends to view everything EVERYTHING through the lens of defeat. His self esteem is a big fat ZERO... no confidence whatsoever!!!"
Many children and teens with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) experience “thinking errors,” largely due to a phenomenon called “mind-blindness.”
Mind-blindness can be described as a cognitive disorder where the child is unable to attribute mental states (e.g., emotions, beliefs, desires, motives) to himself or others. This ability to develop a mental awareness of what is in the mind of another person is known as the “Theory of Mind.”
Generally speaking, the “Mind-blindness Theory” asserts that young people on the autism spectrum are delayed in developing a Theory of Mind, which normally allows developing kids to “put themselves into someone else's shoes” (i.e., empathy) and to imagine their thoughts and feelings.
Children and teens with AS and HFA often can’t conceptualize, understand, or predict emotional states in other people. When this happens, they tend to fill-in the blank with their own interpretation, which is usually inaccurate – and we call this a “thinking error.”
Thinking errors are irrational patterns of cognition that can cause your AS or HFA teen to feel bad and sometimes act in self-defeating ways. If she becomes more upset the more she thinks about a troubling circumstance, she may want to consider the possibility of thinking in a different way. And you, as the parent, can help with this.
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First, let’s look at the main thinking errors so you can get a glimpse into how your AS or HFA teen may be misinterpreting the world:
1. ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING – Thinking of things in absolute terms (e.g., “always”, “every”, “never”). For instance, if your teenager makes an ‘F’ on her book report, she views herself as a total failure.
2. CATASTROPHIZING – Focusing on the worst possible outcome, however unlikely, or thinking that a situation is unbearable or impossible when it is really just uncomfortable.
3. DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE – Continually “shooting down” positive experiences for arbitrary, impromptu reasons. In this way, your teen can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by his everyday experiences (e.g., “The fact that I am an excellent artist doesn’t count because everything else about my life sucks!”).
4. EMOTIONAL REASONING – Your teen makes decisions and arguments based on how she “feels” rather than objective reality.
5. FORTUNE TELLING – Anticipating that things will turn out badly, your teen feels convinced that her prediction is an already established fact (e.g., “Because I ‘think’ that I will fail to make the cheerleading squad, I most certainly WILL fail!”).
6. JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS – Assuming something negative where there is actually no evidence to support it (e.g., “Nobody wants to be my friend!”).
7. LABELLING – This involves “explaining by naming.” Rather than describing the specific behavior, your teen assigns a label to someone (or herself) that puts the other person (or herself) in absolute and unalterable negative terms (e.g., “My friend won’t talk to me; therefore, she is a jerk!”).
8. MAGNIFICATION – This involves exaggerating the negatives.
9. MENTAL FILTER – Focusing exclusively on certain (and usually negative or upsetting) aspects of something while ignoring the rest. For instance, your teen selectively hears the one tiny negative thing surrounded by all the BIG POSITIVE things (your teen’s teacher makes 9 positive comments about his science project, and only one negative comment – but your teen obsesses about the one negative comment).
10. MIND READING – This involves assuming the intentions of others. For example, your teen arbitrarily concludes that a peer is thinking negatively of him, but your teen doesn’t bother to check it out.
11. MINIMIZATION – This involves understating the positives.
12. OVERGENERALIZATION – Taking isolated cases and using them to make sweeping generalizations. For instance, you teen views a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat (e.g., “My teacher just yelled at me. She’s always yelling at me. She must not like me.”).
13. PERSONALIZATION – This occurs when your teen holds himself personally responsible for an event that isn’t entirely under his control (e.g., “My parents are getting divorced. It must be because I’m a bad son!”).
14. SHOULDING – Your teen focuses on what he can’t control. For instance, he concentrates on what he thinks “should” or “ought to be” rather than the actual situation he is faced with.
Helping your AS or HFA teenager to identify negative self-talk is tricky because it's so automatic, she may not even be aware of what’s going on in her own mind. However, if your teen is feeling depressed, angry, anxious or upset, this is a signal that she needs to reflect on her thinking. A good way to test the accuracy of her perceptions is to ask herself some challenging questions. These questions will help your teen check out her self-talk and see whether her current interpretation is reasonable. It can also help her discover other ways of thinking about the situation.
Should Asperger's and HFA Teens Try To Be "Normal"?
Helping your teen to recognize that his current way of thinking may be self-defeating (and preventing him from getting what he wants out of life) can sometimes motivate him to look at things from a different perspective.
Here’s how:
Alternative explanations: What else could the situation mean? If I were being positive, how would I perceive this situation? Are there other ways that I could look at this situation?
Goal-directed thinking: What can I do that will help me solve the problem? Is thinking this way helping me feel good or achieve my goals? Is there something I can learn from this situation to help me in the future? Is there anything good about this situation? Is this situation as bad as I’m making it out to be?
Perspective change: Will this matter in a year from now? What’s the worst thing that could happen? What’s the best thing that could happen? What’s most likely to happen?
Reality testing: Am I jumping to negative conclusions? Are my thoughts based on facts, or my interpretation of the situation? How can I find out if my thoughts are true? What evidence supports my thinking?
Here’s how to help your teen apply different perspective-taking strategies as outlined above: Have him think of a situation in the last week when he found himself feeling rotten. He may have been upset, stressed, angry, depressed, embarrassed or guilty. Help him to apply some of the above strategies based on his particular situation.
For example:
“I totally screwed-up that book report. I'm a loser and I'll never get good grades” …changes to, “I didn't do as well on that book report as I would have liked, but that doesn't mean I'm going to fail all my classes.”
“I tried on those jeans, and I looked so fat and ugly” …changes to, “I tried on those jeans, and they were too small.”
“Michael, the boy I have a crush on, said ‘hi’ to me and I made a total idiot of myself” …changes to, “Michael said ‘hi’ to me and I blushed and looked away. It's ok to be shy.”
Cognitive reframing is a psychological technique that consists of identifying – and then disputing – irrational or maladaptive thoughts. Reframing is a way of viewing and experiencing ideas, events, emotions and concepts to find more positive alternatives. The ability to reframe is a crucial skill for young people on the autism spectrum, especially in light of their mind-blindness issues. Parents can assist in teaching such skills.
Here’s how:
1. Help your AS or HFA teen to accept that frustration is a normal part of life. Most young people on the autism spectrum get intolerant when they have to do things they don’t enjoy. They tell themselves that they “can’t stand” certain things instead of acknowledging that they simply don’t enjoy them. Thus, they easily become angry and frustrated. The reframe: “This is a hassle, and that’s O.K.! Life is full of hassles. I don’t enjoy it, but I can stand it.”
2. Help your teen to be specific. Over-generalizing is a lot like exaggeration. When your teen over-generalizes, she exaggerates the frequency of negative things in her life (e.g., mistakes, disapproval, failures, etc.). Typically, your teen may think to herself, “I always make mistakes,” or “Everyone thinks I’m dumb.” The reframe: “What are the facts? What are my interpretations? Am I over-generalizing?”
3. Help your teen to consider the whole picture. When he “filters,” first he hones-in on the negative aspects of his circumstances. Then he ignores or dismisses all the positive aspects. The reframe: “Is there a more balanced way to look at this situation? Am I looking at the negatives while ignoring the positives?”
4. Help your teen to understand that she shouldn’t just assume she knows what others are thinking. Your teen may be assuming that others are focused on her faults and weaknesses – but this is almost always incorrect! Her worst critic is probably herself. The reframe: “Just because I assume something, does that mean I’m right? What is the evidence? How do I know what other people are thinking?”
5. Help your teen to find all the causes. When he personalizes, he blames himself for anything that goes wrong – even when it’s not his fault or responsibility. The reframe: “What other explanations might there be for this situation? Am I really to blame? Is this all about me?”
6. Teach your teen to judge the situation – not the person. When she uses labels, she may call herself or other people names. Instead of being specific (e.g., “That was a silly thing to do”), your teen may make negative generalizations about herself or other people by saying things such as, “I’m fat and ugly,” or “He’s an asshole.” The reframe: “Just because there is something that I’m not happy with, does that mean that it’s totally no good? What are the facts and what are my interpretations?”
7. Help your teen to look for shades of gray. It’s important for him to avoid thinking about things in terms of extremes. Most things aren’t black-and-white, but somewhere in-between. Just because something isn’t perfect doesn’t mean that it’s a catastrophe. The reframe: “Am I taking an extreme view? How else can I think about the situation? Is it really so bad, or am I seeing things in black-and-white terms?”
8. Help your teen to put things in proper perspective. When things go wrong, he may have a tendency to exaggerate the consequences and imagine that the results will be catastrophic. The reframe: “Is there any way to fix the situation? Is there anything good about the situation? What’s most likely to happen? What’s the best that can happen? What’s the worst that can happen? Will this matter in a year from now?”
9. Encourage your teen to stick to the facts. Sometimes she may confuse her thoughts or feelings with reality. She may assume that her perceptions are correct. The reframe: “Am I thinking this way just because I’m feeling bad right now? Am I confusing my feelings with the facts? Just because I’m feeling this way, does that mean my perceptions are correct?”
10. Help your teen to stop making unfair comparisons. Another common thinking error that your teen may be using is to make unfair comparisons between certain people and himself. When he does this, he compares himself with others who have a specific advantage in some area. Making unfair comparisons can leave him feeling inadequate. The reframe: “Am I making fair comparisons? Am I comparing myself with people who have a particular advantage?”
Thinking errors are simply ways that your AS or HFA teen’s mind convinces him of something that isn’t really true. These inaccurate thoughts are usually used to reinforce negative thinking or emotions (e.g., telling yourself things that sound rational and accurate, but really only serve to keep you feeling bad about yourself).
Thinking errors are at the core of what many therapists try and help a client learn to change in psychotherapy. By learning to correctly identify this kind of faulty cognition, the client can then answer the negative thinking back – and refute it. By refuting the negative thinking over and over again, it slowly diminishes overtime and is automatically replaced by more rational, balanced thinking. You, as the parent, can begin to take on the role of psychotherapist (in a manner of speaking) by utilizing the strategies listed above.
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
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” asserts that young people on the autism spectrum are delayed in developing a Theory of Mind, which normally allows developing kids to “put themselves into someone else's shoes” (i.e., empathy) and to imagine their thoughts and feelings.
