My ASD Child

“My 8 y.o. son has autism (high-functioning) and is constantly disrespectful, talks back, is stubborn. He thinks that we (parents) are 'being mean' to him. We have tried reward charts, try to be encouraging and positive, have taken away computer and TV, removing the thing he is playing with, setting him in a corner, doing extra chores, and NOTHING works. We are just so discouraged because nothing seems to be getting through. We have read dozens of books and seemingly tried everything. Please help. I am going insane!” Traditional disciplinary techniques often fail to produce the desired results for kids with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s (AS), mainly because these “special needs” children are unable to appreciate the consequences of their actions. Consequently, punitive measures are apt to exacerbate the type of behavior the punishment is intended to reduce. Disciplining young people displaying autism-related behaviors will require an approach that is somewh...

In part 2 of this series, we will look at poor cognitive shifting in parents on the autism spectrum: Research in the area of cognition reports that adults with Asperger's (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) have problems with updating the scope and focus of their attention. This attentional deficit may be due to an inability to reorient attention rapidly, which can be problematic when the mother or father has care and control of younger kids.  Moms and dads need to be able to reorient their attention frequently, and often need to be able to do so under pressure.  Research also suggests that many people on the autism spectrum have a deficit in the shifting of attention (e.g., paying attention to what someone is saying while being distracted by sensory stimuli). This trait affects parenting as well. These deficits blend with other neurological differences of AS and HFA (e.g., sensory hypersensitivity and hyposensitivity), and together they affect the co...

Question from a concerned mother of an autistic child:   "My 9 y.o. son is under a ton of stress right now [I think mostly because of the coronavirus scare]... but there are numerous other things he tends to worry about too. How can we as his parents reduce his excessive and unrealistic fears?!" CLICK HERE for the answer...

“My 10-year-old son, TJ, is in the 5th grade and has high functioning autism. Every night we get into arguments over schoolwork that causes him to have huge temper tantrum. Two afternoons a week, he has other activities, and by the time we get home, doing his assignments is the last thing he feels like doing. The other three days, we argue about whether he should do his homework right after school or if he should have some time to relax and play first. When TJ finally sits down to study, he wants me there helping all the time. I do want to help him, but I know at some point he is going to need to be able to do it on his own, and I have other things I need to be doing. Also, most of the time he doesn’t even remember what assignments he’s supposed to be working on. I’m really confused about this issue and what my role is. Got any ideas?” A major cause of anguish for children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) – and their parents – is the substandard completion of school work. Thes...

Many parents with Asperger's (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) experience significant difficulties in parenting -- especially if one their children is also on the autism spectrum. Even though the challenges experienced by moms and dads on the spectrum are significant, these challenges are not well understood in the child welfare community. This is in part due to the fact that the AS or HFA parent is able to parent adequately on many fronts, yet he or she is invisibly "disabled" (i.e., the disorder is not readily apparent to the observer).  Many AS and HFA parents are relatively high functioning in the workplace, but struggle raising their children due to social skills deficits. As any mother or father can tell you, parenting involves a great deal of social expertise, conflict-resolution skills, empathy, listening skills, stress-management, and effective disciplinary techniques -- just to name a few. Proper parenting is a monumental task that involves ...

“What causes Rett syndrome, and is it a fairly common disorder that occurs alongside Asperger syndrome? Also, what are the treatment options?" Rett syndrome is relatively rare, affecting almost exclusively females, one out of 10,000 to 15,000. After a period of normal development (usually between 6 and 18 months), autism-like symptoms begin to appear. The little girl's mental and social development regresses. For example, she no longer responds to her mom or dad and pulls away from any social contact. If she has been talking, she stops. She can’t control her feet, and she wrings her hands. Some of the problems associated with Rett syndrome can be treated. Physical, occupational, and speech therapy can help with problems of coordination, movement, and speech. Scientists sponsored by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development have discovered that a mutation in the sequence of a single gene can cause Rett syndrome. This discovery may help doctors slow or...

"My 10 year old HF Autistic/Aspie doesn't have many friends, and when he's home he doesn't have any at all. He likes to be by himself playing video games with his online friends, which is very few as well. This has been the most difficult part of raising a child with autism. It is not made easier by teachers that damage fragile self-esteem and school boards and clubs that are exclusivist. I've found it to be heartbreaking. I often have to remind my son to talk about what other kids want to talk about and to play games others want to play. He often forgets this give-and-take aspect of friendships. He recently lost his best friend. The friend couldn't take the screaming, crying, yelling, controlling, bossiness and lack of reciprocity. My son takes things very literally and thinks with his heart. It is difficult for him to focus on more than one friend. He simply speaks on and on obsessively about his video games. I don't know what to do." Young...

“My 18 y.o. with Asperger syndrome (high functioning) is on my last nerve. He has been on in-school detention all week. Now he’s getting into trouble there too and is about to receive an out-of-school suspension. He simply doesn’t care anymore, and honestly, I think he is trying to get kicked out of school. He comes home and goes straight to his room for the rest of the evening to play online gaming (he will come out occasionally to eat a snack, but won’t eat dinner with the rest of us). He’s rude and hateful to me and his younger brother. I am at my wits end. No idea where I went wrong with this child. He has no friends to speak of, seems depressed and moody all time, and has even said he wished he wasn’t alive. I really have doubts that he will make it in the adult world at this point. He has already said he will not go to college or trade school. And he has never had an interest in working a part-time job so far. Please help!” First of all, there is much more going on here t...