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Common Social Deficits of Kids on the Autism Spectrum

“Is it common for a child with high functioning autism to have difficulty interpreting the messages others give in conversations? Our son does not seem to understand the rules of social interactions. If he doesn’t understand what someone is saying or doing, he will always be unable to give the appropriate response.”

Yes, these issues are very common. This is why social-skills training in crucial for young people with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger’s. Skills that “typical” children gain naturally do not become so automatic for kids on the spectrum. Below are some of the socially-related deficits that are part of the disorder.

The child may:
  • “Tell” on peers, breaking the “code of silence” that exists (he will then be unaware why others
    are angry with him).
  • Avert eye contact, or keep it fleeting or limited.
  • Avoid observing personal space (is too close or too far).
  • Avoid turning to face the person he is talking to.
  • Be unable to use gestures or facial expressions to convey meaning when conversing.
  • Be unaware of unspoken or “hidden” rules.
  • Confront another person without changing his face or voice.
  • Engage in self-stimulatory or odd behaviors (e.g., rocking, tics, finger posturing, eye blinking, noises such as humming/clicking/talking to self).
  • Fail to assist someone with an obvious need for help (e.g., not holding a door for someone carrying many items or assisting someone who falls or drops their belongings).
  • Fail to gain another person's attention before conversing with them.
  • Have body posture that appears unusual.
  • Experience difficulty with feelings of empathy for others. 
  • Have interactions with others that remain on one level, with one message.
  • Have tics or facial grimaces.
  • Ignore an individual’s appearance of sadness, anger, boredom, etc.
  • Lack awareness if someone appears bored, upset, angry, scared, and so forth (therefore, he does not comment in a socially appropriate manner or respond by modifying the interaction).
  • Have little awareness of the facial expressions and body language of others, so these conversational cues are missed.
  • Lack facial expressions when communicating.
  • Laugh at something that is sad, or ask questions that are too personal.
  • Look to the left or right of the person he is talking to.
  • Make rude comments (e.g., tells someone they are fat, bald, old, have yellow teeth).
  • Respond with anger when he feels others are not following the rules.
  • Discipline others or reprimand them for their actions (e.g., acts like the teacher or parent with peers).
  • Smile when someone shares sad news.
  • Stare intensely at people or objects.
  • Talk on and on about a special interest while unaware that the other person is no longer paying attention, talk to someone who is obviously engaged in another activity, or talk to someone who isn’t even there.
  • Touch, hug, or kiss others without realizing that it is inappropriate.
  • Use facial expressions that do not match the emotion being expressed.
  • Use gestures, body language, or facial expressions infrequently or atypically when interacting with others.

Also, when questioned regarding what could be learned from another person's facial expression, he may say, “Nothing.” Faces do not provide him with information. Unable to read these “messages,” he is unable to respond to them.

For information on providing social-skills training, click on the link below…

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management
 
More resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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Feeling Guilty for Setting Limits with Your ASD Child?

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How To Tell Your Adult Child That You Think He Has ASD

Question

What issues should I consider when contemplating broaching high functioning autism to my 21-year-old son? I want to help him -- he has no social life, lives at home, is rigid in his habits...in short is on the spectrum in both me and my husband's opinion. Should we tell him what we're thinking?


Answer

Re: Should we tell him what we're thinking?

Yes. My bias is that it is better to know than not to know. If somebody has High-Functioning Autism (HFA) or Asperger's and doesn’t know, it affects him anyway.

If the person does know, he may be able to minimize the negative impact and leverage the positive. Without the knowledge that you have the disorder, you often fill that void with other, more damaging explanations (e.g., I'm just a failure, weird, stupid, etc.).

Re: What issues should I consider when contemplating broaching Aspergers to my 28-year-old son?
  1. Lead with strengths! ALL people on the autism spectrum have significant areas of strength (even if this has not been translatable into tangible success). Bring up areas of strength with your son. 
  2. Next, tactfully point out the areas in which he is struggling. 
  3. Then, suggest that there is a name for this confusing combination of strengths and struggles, and it might be "High-Functioning Autism."

Once the question of HFA has been raised, your son may wonder if he should pursue an official diagnosis. For some young adults, doing their own research through support and information organizations, books, the Internet, etc., provides the best explanation and enough answers regarding difficulties that they have faced, as well as the unique strengths that they may possess. Others may prefer a formal diagnosis from a professional. Either form of discovery is perfectly acceptable.

==> Launching Adult Children With Aspergers and HFA: How To Promote Self-Reliance
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High-Functioning Autistic [ASD Level 1] Children and Difficulty with Reciprocal Social Interactions

Many kids with ASD or High-Functioning Autism have an inability (or a lack of desire) to interact with their friends and classmates. Moms and dads are often concerned with their youngster’s interactions with others and the quality of those interactions.

It is very important to observe how your child interacts with same-age peers. Below are a few of the reasons a youngster with ASD has difficulty finding and keeping friends. 

The child:

1.  Compromises interactions by rigidity, inability to shift attention or “go with the flow,” being rule bound, and needs to control the play/activity

2.  Displays a lack of desire to interact

3.  Displays a limited awareness of current topics, activities, songs, etc.

4.  Displays a limited awareness of the emotions of others and/or how to respond to them, for example, does not:
  • ask for help from others
  • know how to respond when help is given
  • know how to respond to compliments
  • realize the importance of apologizing
  • realize something he says or does can hurt the feelings of another
  • differentiate internal thoughts from external thoughts
  • respond to the emotions another is displaying (missed cues)

5.  Displays narrow play and activity choices (note: best observed during unstructured play/leisure activities: look for rigidity/patterns/repetitive choices, inability to accept novelty)
 
==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism
6.  Does not care about her inability to interact with others because she has no interest in doing so. She prefers solitary activities and does not have the need to interact with others, or she is socially indifferent and can take it or leave it with regard to interacting with others.

7.  Engages in unusual behaviors or activities (e.g., selects play or activity choices of a younger child, seems unaware of the unwritten social rules among peers, acts like an imaginary character, uses an unusual voice — any behaviors that call attention to the child or are viewed as unusual by peers).

8.  Initiates play interaction by taking a toy or starting to engage in an ongoing activity without gaining verbal agreement from the other players, will ignore a negative response from others when asking to join in, will abruptly leave a play interaction.

9.  Spends all free time completely consumed by areas of special interest. Her activities are so rule bound, it would be almost impossible for a peer to join in correctly. When asked about preferred friends, the child is unable to name any or names those who are really not friends (e.g., family members, teachers).

10.  Is unable to select activities that are of interest to others (unaware or unconcerned that others do not share the same interest or level of interest, unable to compromise).

11.  Lacks an understanding of game playing — unable to share, unable to follow the rules of turn taking, unable to follow game-playing rules (even those that may appear quite obvious), is rigid in game playing (may want to control the game or those playing and/or create her own set of rules), always needs to be first, unable to make appropriate comments while playing, and has difficulty with winning/losing.

12.  Lacks conversational language for a social purpose, does not know what to say — this could be no conversation, monopolizing the conversation, lack of ability to initiate conversation, obsessive conversation in one area, conversation not on topic or conversation that is not of interest to others.

13.  Lacks the ability to understand, attend to, maintain, or repair a conversational flow or exchange — this causes miscommunication and inappropriate responses (unable to use the back-and-forth aspect of communication).

14.  Observes or stays on the periphery of a group rather than joining in.

15.  Prefers structured over non-structured activities.

16. Sits apart from others, avoids situations where involvement with others is expected (e.g., playgrounds, birthday parties, being outside in general), and selects activities that are best completed alone (e.g., computer games, Game Boy, books, viewing TV/videos, collecting, keeping lists).

 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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