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The Confusing Social Behavior of Kids on the Autism Spectrum

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The Gift of High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's


Children with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's and their families spend a great deal of time focused on the needs or limitations of the affected child. However, these young people also have abilities that many "typical" children do not.

It is important that families talk about the strengths and abilities that their "special needs" child does have. For example:
  • they are often very creative
  • many have a sort of natural genius
  • many have above average intelligence
  • they can see the world very differently to the average person, which can mean different priorities or different sensory experience 
  • their overriding priority is often to solve a problem rather than satisfy the social or emotional needs of others
  • they are renowned for being direct, speaking their mind and being honest and determined 
  • they can be a loyal friend 
  • they give considerable attention to detail 
  • they have a distinct sense of humor 
  • they have a strong desire to seek knowledge, truth and perfection with a different set of priorities than would be expected with other people 
  • they have a strong sense of social justice 
  • they may perceive errors that are not apparent to others 
  • they often actively seek and enjoy solitude 
  • they value being creative rather than co-operative 

It is important to celebrate children on the autism spectrum for what and who they are, recognizing their individual strengths and abilities. Doing this on a daily basis enhances both self-esteem and self-confidence (two things that many of these kids are short on). 


More resources for parents of children and teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism:


 Where does your child excel? Please comment below...

•    Anonymous said… My daughter also has Asperger's Syndrome. Recently, she has been having a lot of trouble with tics (twitching of her feet and hands, biting her lip, and rolling of her eyes.) Whenever she is feeling stressed out, her tics are worse and she complains that they cause her hands, feet and eyes to hurt. She is already on Benztropine to help with the tics, but sometimes they seem out of control. I wish there were more doctors that specialized in Asperger's Syndrome in Maryland!
•    Anonymous said… my daughter was recently diagnosed. I don't know anyone that has a girl! I would love to talk to you! My daughter is exceptional, I rarely have to get on to her. Mostly just not saying mean things. Which she doesn't think are mean.
•    Anonymous said… My kid is pretty awesome! She struggles, but has an amazing "code" that she lives by. She insists that people be treated fairly.
•    Anonymous said… No child has ALL these positive traits, but they all have some of the traits (some more than others)...
•    Anonymous said… See I struggle with this. My daughter is sweet and definitely not all bad. But I struggle to see these things as strengths.
•    Anonymous said… So true to many of these!
•    Anonymous said... Attention to detail.
•    Anonymous said... Every evening I tell my son all the things he has done that day that make me proud. And I ask if he is proud of himself. I use very specific events so he will be more likely to continue those behaviors. I haven't had a night when i couldn't find something to praise him for.
•    Anonymous said... Julian is very smart.. He has an iq of 99.
•    Anonymous said... My 10yo son is the kindest kid I know. He also has a deep love for animals. All he wants out of life is peace and fairness (and ice cream...) He is extremely smart and I know he will contribute a lot to society during his lifetime. I think we'd all be a lot better off if more people thought like aspies:)
•    Anonymous said... My 12yr old son has a deep love for animals as well, he is gifted in playing the drums..all he has to do is hear a song a few times and he can play it. Amazing
•    Anonymous said... My daughter, who is 14 is a talented musician. She can play just about any band instrument you put in her hands and has only had formal teaching on one single instrument!
•    Anonymous said... My son (who is 10) is gifted e.g. in math and orienteering. He always knows his location. When he was about three or four years old, he knew the names of the streets.
•    Anonymous said... My son (who is 14) is artistically and musically gifted. These talents help him with his self-esteem and help define who he is in a positive way.
•    Anonymous said... My son is 9 and is a human calculator! He is brilliant when it comes to math. He gets it even when no one has taught him. Amazing.
•    Anonymous said... My son who is 16 is also artistic.
•    Anonymous said... Would have to say his imagination... Amazing ♥
•    Anoymous said… My 13 year old Aspie has a way with animals and babies. They just love him! He is amazing at history and often likes to stump us on unusual facts lol.  
*    My daughter with Asperger's taught herself to play the guitar, she also taught herself to do tricks on the skateboard & she's amazing with animals
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Helping the Teacher to Understand Your Autistic Child

"Are there certain things that I should tell my son's new teacher before he starts the new school year in order to help her make any necessary adjustments or accommodations?"

You have had several years of experience figuring-out what works and what doesn’t work in managing your son. 
 
While his teacher understands the fundamentals of teaching, he/she may be lacking in crucial information about ASD [[High-Functioning Autism], and what works best in certain circumstances.

This means that you have information to share with the teacher, and the time to do that is before (or very near) the time your son enters the classroom.

Here are the basics to discuss with your son's teacher:
  • You’ll want to share information on your son’s diagnosis and his  normal level of functioning.
  • If your son has a normal or above normal IQ, tell the teacher that he has the cognitive ability to succeed under the right circumstances.
  • Talk about visual learning and the fact that children on the autism spectrum learn through pictures and are less likely to learn through auditory awareness or through letters and words.
  • You’ll also want to talk to the teacher about those things that set your son off, including any obsessions or compulsive behavior he exhibits. 
  • If your child still has temper tantrums, talk about how to manage them and how to avoid them, if possible. If he has meltdowns, be sure to talk about that too.
  • Ease the teacher’s possible discomfort about your son’s repetitive or strange actions by telling him/her that it has to do with how his brain processes information.
  • Explain that your son's inappropriate behavior often comes from misunderstanding, not insubordination. 
  • Tell the teacher about different skills your son finds challenging (e.g., making eye contact, accepting change, showing appropriate emotions, etc.).
  • Educate the nature of the disorder. It's neurological, not psychological or behavioral. It has an organic origin.

Also, if possible, copy and paste the link to this video and email it to the teacher: https://youtu.be/EGMcthxpsTw




In addition, tell the teacher that you can be available as a resource if needed. Try to have a phone number at which you can be reached for any impromptu issues that arise during the course of the day. 

Make a deal with the teacher that allows you to attend class on the first few days of school or when things get difficult. Not only will that help your son adjust to school, it will aid the teacher in the process of getting to know him.

Maintain that teacher-parent alliance throughout the school year in order to have the best chance of your son learning and thriving within the structure of the mainstream classroom. 
 
As one mother stated: "My daughter puts her head down on the desk when she has to much input. This gives her a moment to process all that she is hearing. Now that her teacher knows this, she is no longer getting in trouble for not paying attention. Sharing these cues with teachers will greatly help your child AND the teacher!"
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Helping Children On The Autism Spectrum To Deal With Stress

"Is it common for a child with autism (high functioning) to quickly and easily get upset about little things throughout the day? The least little thing will set my son off."

Children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) often suffer from different types of stress compared to other kids. Stressors can be as diverse as school issues to the texture of their clothing!

These young people often suffer from so many obsessive thoughts that they are stressed out by things such as noise, smell, certain textures, things out of place, and disorder in general.

These "special needs" kids are perceived to be quite intolerant of others as well as the environment. They often become very anxious in unstructured settings and in situations where people are moving at random.

They may not be able to tolerate people standing close to them. Whether it is sudden or it comes from general background activity, noise can cause acute stress, fear and even panic and, at the very least, the youngster may be distracted and unable to concentrate.

Each child on the autism spectrum will have his issues that stress him out. When they are younger, this kind of stress can lead to tantrums. Older kids can have anger outbursts or other evidence of distress when things aren’t going their way. They may swear or act-out in inappropriate ways to cope with their environment.





Sometimes a parent or sibling just needs to give in to the idiosyncrasies of the HFA child. They may need to keep the noise down or keep things in a specific order. Moms and dads may have to respect their youngster’s need for certain clothing textures or food preferences.

Lack of sleep can lead to stress in a child on the spectrum. Sleep disorders are very common. Medication or taking naps during the day may help ease the stress of sleep deprivation.

Some stress reduction techniques can be taught and are somewhat different from other stress reducing techniques. Your son may need to remove himself physically from the situation causing the anxiety. A quiet environment, free from distractions and where rules are followed rigidly can do much to help him concentrate.

Carrying a favored object can also give your son a sense of security. The nature of this object can seem quite bizarre to others (e.g., a "cat's eye" marble from the road), but without it, your son may be unable to settle or concentrate.

Some HFA kids derive comfort from repeating a set ritual of some kind that can be long and complex. It goes without saying that the ritual, however time-consuming, may have to be carried out in classroom situations, and the comfort object must be allowed to be present if the youngster is to be able to cope with the stressors.

When your son is upset, he is either wanting (a) immediate pleasure or (b) to avoid emotional pain. Upset feelings occur when the HFA youngster gets frustrated and has an unwillingness - or inability - to tolerate the necessary short-term discomfort that is sometimes required for long-term gain.

The opposite of this would be self-control, which is simply the ability to tolerate or cope with discomfort and hard work in the short-term in order to achieve one's long-term goals.  Thus, teaching self-control methods to your son would be the ideal "fix" for his chronically feeling upset.

 
==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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Crucial Strategies for Parents of Challenging Kids on the Autism Spectrum

    Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum :   ==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children ...