Aspergers Children: Obsessions and Rituals

Question

My Aspergers son spends all his time collecting and ruminating over his baseball cards. That’s ALL he talks about, all day long: baseball trivia (names of teams, names of players, player stats, and on and on...). Is this Aspergers related behavior, and how can I get him to broaden his interests?

Answer

Rituals and obsessions are one of the hallmarks of Aspergers (high functioning autism) and other Autistic Spectrum Disorders. In order to cope with the anxieties and stresses about the chaotic world around them, children often obsess and ritualize their behaviors to comfort themselves. While some children may spend their time intensely studying one area, others may be compulsive about cleaning, lining up items, or even doing things which put them or others in danger.

Based on data from psychological testing, it is likely that the memory of the youngster with Aspergers may not be better than others in general, but the huge collection of facts he knows probably represents the amount of time and effort that has gone into accumulating knowledge on one or two subjects to the exclusion of much else. The obsessions are not necessarily characterized by memorization of data alone.

The term “systemizing” applies to the “fascination with data” that has inherent networks, such as maps, weather patterns, or airline schedules. Although it is commonly thought that obsessions can be strengths that can be utilized in the educational process, these obsessions can interfere significantly with other important daily functions. Children with Aspergers are more interested in systems that can be described as “folk physics” (an interest in how things work) versus “folk psychology” (an interest in how people work).

Obsessions aren't always so bad, especially if they are some of educational or healthful value, but when mixed with the mental makeup of a child with Aspergers, problems may arise. Kids with Aspergers have trouble with social and emotional development and understanding the nonverbal cues in a conversation. While they are more than happy to start discussing their subject of obsession to another person, they will most likely not notice if the other person is not interested.

They may not get the hint of a person's disinterest or lack of time to talk. They may instead proceed to follow another person around continuing to talk on and on about their area of fascination. They may go right up to someone else already engaged in conversation and interrupt them to begin associating their topic of interest with their obsession. They may take over a conversation and talk endlessly not leaving much time or room for any feedback from another.

Kids with Aspergers may become so obsessed with a particular toy, game, or subject, that they may push friends away unknowingly. They may leave little time for anything else, and homework may suffer. They may become too easily distracted always thinking back to their obsession and not be able to stay on task.

Moms and dads need to take care to allow their kids to be passionate about certain subjects but to not let it entirely rule their lives. If a child is overly obsessed with playing video games of play on the computer, it is OK to give them some time to play, but the time should be limited. Even if the subject of fascination is reading books or doing science experiments, it is still important that time be given to other subjects or just to get out to get some exercise.

Kids with Aspergers do not learn the social norms and common sense ideas the same way another child does. They may never completely understand the reasons why things matter socially. They may not see any reason why they shouldn't devote all their time to their one major fascination. Moms and dads can take consideration for their passion, but also help them become a more socially rounded person. It is important, however, if a child fixates on a particularly bad habit or inappropriate subject matter, that a parent put an end to it immediately.

Even with Aspergers, a child will eventually notice when a parent is not interested and it may become hurtful. Moms and dads should take the time to listen to their child and even learn about what is so fascinating. A parent who will take the extra initiative to go visit a planetarium for their child interested in space, or take a trip to a dinosaur museum for the child obsessed with dinosaurs, will give their child the extra support and assurance they need.

Choose your battles wisely. Breaking an obsession or ritual is like running a war campaign. If not planned wisely or if you attempt to fight on many fronts, you're guaranteed to fail. Not only is it time consuming and tiring, it means you can't devote 100% to each particular area. So, if you have a youngster with (1) a game obsession, (2) a phobia of brushing his teeth, and (3) bedtime troubles, choose only one to deal with. Deal with the worst problem first!

When tackling any problem with any youngster, Aspergers or not, it's always best to remain calm at all times. Children can feed off your anger, frustration and anxiety, so keeping a level head at all times is essential. If you feel a situation is escalating and elevating your blood pressure, take a step back and collect yourself.

More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book


==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

 COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said... With time obsessions change, evolve...as long as it doesn't interfere with their studies.
•    Anonymous said... Definitely Asperger's related!! My son used to categorize his trains when he was little by their "usefulness" as he put it. The we moved on to Legos and them needing to be categorized by shape, size, color, etc. Your son will be fine. There is nothing wrong with fixating on one subject or area within a subject...he can't help it. Throughout his life he will go on to other things, on his own time. I myself had a baseball card fixation when I was younger, then I moved on, then ended up coming back, re-sorting previous collections, staring a new one, etc..
•    Anonymous said... Don't bother. My son now 21 and in college still crazy about trains. But think of their interest in a broader spectrum is easier. I got Eurail maps for him and he learned geography and history. Be age appropriate but go for it. Baseball is worldwide. There are teams in many other counties. Japan is one.
•    Anonymous said... I never really felt the need to broaden my sons interests. He has similar behaviors with other things that he perseverates on and I think it is such a unique characteristic to him and other children like him that I try to support it and encourage him to learn in a variety of different ways. I have always made sure that I expose him to a variety of different things and interests and I've always given him many different flavors in life such as different sports different TV shows and now different YouTube channels but in the end I just encourage his interactions with what he enjoys. Because my son would focus on one thing I would use that to my advantage and use that one thing to show him many different avenues with sports you can use statistics for math you can use teamwork for socialization you can use whatever it is that they focus on as your grounds and topic for teaching them important things in life. In the end what really matters I think it's happiness health and being able to function in society. We all have a different purpose in our life and whether your purpose is baseball, teaching or just inspiring others I really try to provide my son with as much support for his purpose as he needs.
•    Anonymous said... Most children with Aspergers also have OCD (like my son) and the have something that they just cling to. For my son it's the video games Skylanders. The best thing you can do is try to introduce him to as many different things as possible. Now that doesn't guarantee that he won't revert back to the game cards but it will plant seeds for other options.
•    Anonymous said... My daughter obsessively studies dogs, if we are out and she sees a dog she will ask what breed it is, of course that is not enough, she wants to know its weight, coat type, how much walking it does, how fast it runs, what it was used for in history, what health issues the breed has.... It goes on and on!!... and on.
I brought her a note book, and a dog encyclopedia, she can draw a picture and write 5 facts about the particular breed. Works very well.
•    Anonymous said... My son has his obsession with fish tanks. He's now scuba certified and taught himself to maintain a saltwater reef. Use the obsessions as a life lesson and let them run with it. It's a great thing to watch a child so tuned in and focused.

*   Anonymous said... There are a number of issues to overcome....misdiagnosis, wrong medications and side effects, judgemental people in society and of course how the rest of the family is effected!! On top of all this, theres not enough support with regards to assessments and ongoing therapy, especially if your not wealthy!
*   Anonymous said... Can you tell me what medication your referring to which can assist with obsessive behavior?
*   Anonymous said... My son has extreme OCD with his Aspergers. Doctors want me to put him on Prozac , which I am etremely hesitant to do. Does anyone else have experience with this?

Post your comment below...

Perseveration: Stereotypic Behaviors in Aspergers Kids

Question

My 10-year-old son with Aspergers has a variety of stereotypical behaviors (e.g., he flaps his arms, hops, makes some odd writhing movements). They get worse when he is excited or over-stimulated. At age 10, these behaviors are really sticking-out and can be quite annoying and embarrassing to the rest of the family when we are out with him, in particular his older sister. Do you have any suggestions of what to do about it?

Answer

Almost all kids with any form of autism tend to repeat behaviors, an action referred to as stereotypic behaviors or perseveration. Your youngster may stare at objects or repeat behaviors that seem to have no purpose for hours at a time. This can be seen in the “flapping” of your child’s hands or other circumscribed, repeated movements, even those that are self-injurious or destructive to others or property.

In kids with Aspergers (high-functioning autism), these stereotypic behaviors may diminish and give way to obsessive interests, usually topical in nature, as the youngster gets older. This is exemplified by obsessive fascination with a particular narrow field such as sharks, weather, train schedules, airport architecture, maps, and so on. The pursuit of a very limited area of knowledge may encompass a huge amount of detail on the subject. Such persons seem to display an exquisite ability to memorize the smallest facts.

In discussion on their favorite topic, they can “nitpick” over the smallest details. Grandpa may think he remembers World War II, but his grandson with Aspergers has memorized the details of the war with far greater accuracy. Clearly, the student can display perfectionism in building such a base of information. For this reason, Aspergers has been compared in such respects to obsessive compulsive disorder. Autistic kids who are later found not to be categorized as having Aspergers may tend to display stereotypical behaviors longer and at levels that are difficult to extinguish. In many cases, physical perseverations decrease significantly over time, and in some cases, only obsessive thinking is perseverative.

Stereotypic behaviors such as hand flapping, ritualistic pacing, spinning, lining up objects, or visual inspection of objects are thought to be “automatically” and intrinsically rewarding for many kids with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). These activities may give a youngster a new sensory experience that is rewarding.

One way to think about this is that many kids with ASD often do not have age-level play and social skills. Some pass time by engaging in repetitive motor behaviors. It is also possible that, though stereotypic behaviors are initially reinforced intrinsically, they may also become reinforced by social attention when parents try to stop or discourage the behaviors. These behaviors can interfere with learning if they occur a lot in the school setting. They can also “stigmatize” the youngster (i.e., make him appear odd).

There are at least 3 possible behavioral interventions that may be used to reduce such repetitive behaviors. These interventions are usually employed separately, but they may also be done simultaneously. If moms and dads wish to reduce such behavior, they should seek the help of a behavior therapist.

First, some therapists may decide to stop the behavior. Simply ignoring the behavior, if it is intrinsically rewarding, usually will not work. One usually attempts to stop the behavior with as little social attention as possible. Talking with or looking at the youngster is usually discouraged when preventing the behavior from continuing. The minimal amount of physical guidance to stop the behavior is recommended. Then parents and others around the child are coached to pay attention to the youngster again when the repetitive behavior has stopped.

A second approach involves teaching the youngster how to play appropriately with toys. This approach works even better the child is exposed to toys that achieve the same or similar sensory experience provided by the repetitive behavior.

If the repetitive behavior involves objects or household equipment, such as rewinding a part of a video cassette, a third approach is sometimes used. One can minimize the behavior by limiting access to those objects or equipment. Regardless of the approach used, any behavioral intervention for stereotypic behaviors needs to be highly individualized. We strongly recommend that moms and dads obtain expert consultation with a qualified clinical psychologist.

Some medicines may also help to reduce repetitive or compulsive behaviors. Sometimes the serotonin selective reuptake inhibitors (Prozac-like medicines) are helpful. Examples are citalopram, sertraline, and paroxetine. The newer types of antipsychotic medicine are sometimes helpful for reducing stereotypic behaviors. Examples of these medicines are risperidone, aripiprazole, and ziprasidone.

Ordinarily, the antipsychotics would not be used solely to reduce repetitive behaviors, however, unless such behaviors were linked to other, more serious, behaviors. This is not frequent, but sometimes Ritalin-like medicines may actually make stereotypic behaviors increase in some kids with autism-spectrum disorders. The parent and doctor should be watchful for this if a youngster with an autism-spectrum disorder is starting a new medicine for ADHD or if the dose of the medicine is increased.

The stereotypical behaviors that you mention can certainly be associated with pervasive developmental disorders. It is important that you get your youngster to a clinic familiar with autism and related issues, and with psychopharmacological management. Only then can a plan be best formulated.

More resources for parents of children and teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism:

==> Preventing Meltdowns and Tantrums in Asperger's Children

==> Discipline for Defiant Asperger's Teens

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's: How to Promote Self-Reliance 

==> Everything You'll Ever Need to Know About Parenting Asperger's Children

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

==> AudioBook: Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger’s and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Aspergers in Adulthood

Like other conditions on the autism spectrum, Aspergers (high functioning autism) is believed to be caused primarily by errant genes, and it is not typically associated with low IQ. Although there's no consensus on prevalence, a study in the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry pins it at 1 in 400 among 8-year-olds, more often in boys than girls.

Though professionals use the same diagnostic criteria, interpretations make for wide disparities in diagnosis. Some people may have family members with autism-spectrum disorders and exhibit features of Aspergers, such as "social deficits and a great deal of rigidities," but these traits are not tantamount to the diagnosable condition.

A person with Aspergers often has trouble understanding the emotions of other people, and the subtle messages that are sent by facial expression, eye contact and body language are often missed. Research suggests that the divorce rate for people with Aspergers is around 80 per cent. Social training, which teaches how to behave in different social situations, is generally more helpful to a person with Aspergers than counseling.

Typical adult symptoms—

More males than females have Aspergers. While every person who has the syndrome will experience different symptoms and severity of symptoms, some of the more common characteristics include:

• Adherence to routines and schedules, and stress if expected routine is disrupted
• Average or above average intelligence
• Difficulties in empathizing with others
• Hampered conversational ability
• Inability to manage appropriate social conduct
• Inability to think in abstract ways
• Problems with controlling feelings such as anger, depression and anxiety
• Problems with understanding another person's point of view
• Specialized fields of interest or hobbies.

Primary Symptoms of Aspergers—

• Difficulty with Social Communication: People with Aspergers often find it difficult to understand others and express themselves. They fail to interpret gestures, facial expressions and change of tone. They are usually at a loss in choosing a topic to speak on, and do not know when to start or stop a conversation. They are very literal in what they say and fail to comprehend complex words and phrases, expressions like metaphors and even jokes. The best way to interact with individuals with Aspergers to keep one's sentences short and concise.

• Difficulty with Social Interaction: It is their inability to communicate that hampers their ability to maintain friendships. They might be confused at the way other people behave, because they are unable to understand social ways of conduct. They may lose interest in people and appear aloof most of the time. They are often mistaken as ignorant and vain individuals.

• Lack of Social Imagination: Although adults with Aspergers can be accomplished musicians and writers, they are unable to imagine alternatives to social incidents. They cannot predict a normal course of action according to social norms. For example, going to a wedding reception of a newly married couple may baffle them.

• Love for Routines: Adults with Aspergers seem to follow routines and rituals religiously. They do not take very well to a sudden change in their daily time table, and have set hours for everyday work. The reason behind such mechanical behavior is not very clear. However, it could be an attempt of further simplifying even the simple things that baffles the mind of an individual who suffers from Aspergers.

• Special Interests: Individuals with Aspergers are sometimes found to have an intense or even obsessive interest or hobby. Sometimes these continue for one's entire lifetime. However, in some cases, an individual may get smitten with a completely unrelated activity. However, this obsessive involvement with particular topics helps them in gaining an amazing insight into those fields. These topics could vary from computers to knowing how to play the guitar. Encouraging such individuals to continue with their interest helps them to acquire an in-depth knowledge in certain fields. This could help them to gain employment in their fields of interest.

The emotions of others—

A person with Aspergers may have trouble understanding the emotions of other individuals, and the subtle messages that are sent by facial expression, eye contact and body language are often missed. Because of this, a person with Aspergers might be seen as egotistical, selfish or uncaring. These are unfair labels, because the affected person is neurologically unable to understand other individuals's emotional states. They are usually shocked, upset and remorseful when told their actions were hurtful or inappropriate.

Sexual codes of conduct—

Research into the sexual understanding of individuals with Aspergers is in its infancy. Studies suggest that affected individuals are as interested in sex as anyone else, but many don't have the social or empathetic skills to successfully manage adult relationships.

Delayed understanding is common; for example, a person with Aspergers aged in their 20s typically has the sexual codes of conduct befitting a teen. Even affected individuals who are high achieving and academically or vocationally successful have trouble negotiating the 'hidden rules' of courtship. Inappropriate sexual behavior can result.

Being a partner and parent—

Although research into the sexual interests of adults suffering from Aspergers is still in the stage of infancy, the studies have revealed that they have a normal sexual urge as other adults, but their sexual codes may not be as mature as expected of their age. Hence, inappropriate sexual behavior can be expected. Biologically, they are capable of having kids. However, due to their inability to understand people's emotions, they may face some challenges in issues related to married life and parenting. If only the partner understands the symptoms and does not expect the spouse suffering from Aspergers to shoulder equal responsibilities of the family, married life could still be carried out on near-normal levels.

Life is like a complex puzzle for adults with Aspergers at every step. Matters become worse for them as most of us can't recognize Aspergers in adults. If you know that a person is suffering from this syndrome, be patient with him. With time you will be able to see why his behavior that seems inappropriate to you is the only right way for him to react.

Some affected individuals can maintain relationships and parent kids, although there are challenges. Dutch research suggests that the divorce rate for individuals with Aspergers is around 80 per cent.

A common marital problem is unfair distribution of responsibilities. For example, the partner of a person with Aspergers may be used to doing everything in the relationship when it is just the two of them. However, the partner may need practical and emotional support once kids come along, which the person with Aspergers is ill equipped to provide. When the partner expresses frustration or becomes upset that they're given no help of any kind, the person with Aspergers is typically baffled. Tension in the relationship often makes their symptoms worse.

Common issues for partners of Aspergers adults—

An adult's diagnosis of Aspergers often tends to follow their youngster's diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder. This 'double whammy' can be extremely distressing to the partner who has to cope simultaneously with both diagnoses. Counseling, or joining a support group where they can talk with other individuals who face the same challenges, can be helpful. Some common issues for partners include:

• A sense of isolation, because the challenges of their relationship are different and not easily understood by others.
• After accepting that their partner's Aspergers won't get better, common emotions include guilt, despair and disappointment.
• Difficulties in accepting that their partner won't recover from Aspergers.
• Failure to have their own needs met by the relationship.
• Feeling overly responsible for their partner.
• Frequent wondering about whether or not to end the relationship.
• Frustration, since problems in the relationship don't seem to improve despite great efforts.
• Lack of emotional support from family members and friends who don't fully understand or appreciate the extra strains placed on a relationship by Aspergers.

The workplace—

Aptitude in social behavior is required in every aspect of life. Hence, despite their intelligence being average or above average levels, the chances of employment for adults with Aspergers get limited due to their social disabilities. However, there are agencies and services which help such individuals in getting jobs. It is important to remember that Aspergers does not retard one's intellectual development. If only the society is a little patient with their inability to understand social norms, they can fend for themselves as engineers, mathematicians, video game designers or photographers. They should avoid jobs of a receptionist, cashier or waiter as these involve a lot of social interactions.

A person with Aspergers may find their job opportunities limited by their disability. It may help to choose a vocation that takes into account the individual's symptoms, and plays to the strengths rather than the weaknesses. Here are some career suggestions:

Careers to avoid—

Careers that rely on short term memory should be avoided. Examples include:

• Air traffic controller

• Cashier

• Receptionist

• Short order cook

• Taxi dispatcher

• Waitress

Careers for visual thinkers—

Suggestions include:

• Appliance repair

• Building maintenance

• Building trades

• Commercial art

• Computer programming

• Drafting

• Equipment design

• Handcraft artisan

• Mechanic

• Photography

• Video game designer

• Webpage designer

Career for those good at mathematics or music—

Suggestions include:

• Accounting

• Bank teller

• Computer programming

• Engineering

• Filing positions

• Journalist, copy editor

• Mathematician

• Physician

• Piano (or other musical instrument) tuner

• Statistician

• Taxi driver

• Telemarketing

Treatment of Aspergers—

There is no cure for this syndrome. However, there are a number of therapies for adults with Aspergers. It should begin with a trained therapist first of all helping the patients to come to terms with their disability. It is important to make such individuals realize that they are just as functional as others, and that they could minimize the drawbacks of their disabilities with certain therapies. The treatment that follows differs according to an individual's response. While some may be overjoyed as they start to understand that it was not their fault if they did not understand how the world around them worked, there are those that simply abandon further treatment. It is important to make individuals with Aspergers feel confident about themselves, so that they respond positively to further course of treatment. This can be done through counseling. After that cognitive behavioral therapy sessions could be used successfully. Social training could also be adopted as it teaches individuals how to behave in different social situations.

==> Living with an Aspergers Partner

Aspergers Children and Attachment Problems

Delays and atypical behaviors related to Aspergers (high functioning autism) are observable in the first 2 years of life. Some babies with Aspergers show less-than-expected interest and pleasure in other people. Infants with Aspergers may share interests and activities less and may even babble less than other infants. Your baby may seem less interested in communicating through sounds or physical gestures, and his speech may be delayed to some extent or robotically copied from books or TV shows.

Kids with Aspergers tend to display better attachment to parents than kids with more severe forms of classical autism. However, you may notice that despite your youngster’s bonding with you, he still has difficulty connecting with her peers. Later in childhood, he may be more likely to engage in conversation (although this often is one-way conversation) with you and other adults than with his peers.

One mother of an Aspergers child recalls:

“My daughter was very much in her own world and I rarely felt that she and I connected; it was an odd feeling.”

Some children with Aspergers often appear to prefer being alone to the company of others and may passively accept such things as hugs and cuddling without reciprocating, or resist attention altogether. Later, they may seldom seek comfort from others or respond to parents' displays of anger or affection in a typical way. Research has suggested that although Aspergers children are attached to their parents, their expression of this attachment is unusual and difficult to interpret. Moms and dads who looked forward to the joys of cuddling, teaching, and playing with their child may feel disappointed by this lack of expected attachment behavior.

How Parents Can Help—

What exactly is it that highly-skilled parents do that helps the Aspergers child form a secure attachment?

Being sensitive and responsive to very young children seems to be the key. This means you are there when the child needs you and that you can be counted on to meet his needs, especially social needs.

Parents who are responsive to young children respond quickly to their needs, and they respond in a way that is in tune to the child. The adults who develop secure attachments with their very young children respond to crying more quickly. They are also more affectionate when they respond than parents who have kids that are not attached. Secure children know that adults will take care of them. This makes them easier to be around and they are easier to comfort.

Sensitive parents are also careful not to over-stimulate their young children. Kids need lots of loving. And they usually enjoy playing with adults. But it is easy for them to get overexcited. Very young children cannot walk away from you when they have had enough. But they do give signals. If the child looks down or won't look at you, it usually means that he is tired and wants to be left alone. A sensitive parent understands this. The mother or father leaves the young child alone for a while to let him calm down.

A sensitive parent reacts to the child's signals. The interaction has turn-taking, like a game of ping-pong. First the child sends a signal. This may be a sound or a look or a movement. The parent notices and signals back -- by imitating the sound, touching the foot that moved, or simply telling the child what she just did. Then the young child responds again, and the adult responds back again. The child and the parent carefully react to each other. Very young children who receive this high quality interaction are more likely to develop a secure attachment. This type of interaction also helps develop children's thinking skills.

Watch yourself the next time you are attending to your young Aspergers child. Are you talking and playing with him while also tending to his needs? If the answer is yes, then you know that you are doing much more than simply meeting the child's physical needs. You are also helping the child learn to trust adults and to feel safe and secure. Taking the time to "connect" with the Aspergers child is vitally important.

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook