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Teaching Students on the Autism Spectrum Using Visual Imagery

"What would be the most important teaching strategy to use with my students who are on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum?" 

The short answer is: capitalize on the child's natural visual-thinking skills...

Children with Aspergers (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) often think differently than other children. They often have what is known as 'visual thinking'. While many of us think in words or abstractly, kids on the autism spectrum think in pictures and films playing in their head.

They have a difficult time seeing a generic representation of, say, a cat, and instead recall exact images of cats they have seen. Some researchers believe that the way AS and HFA people think is a good way of compensating for losses in 'language thinking'. This is what often makes these kids good at building things and seeing the end product of something before it is done.

Using this visual thinking to an advantage can help parents and teachers educate Aspergers students better. Teaching them through videos, pictures and other visual aids can help them learn while getting around the areas they have trouble with.

One AS student stated, “I think totally in pictures. It is like playing different DVDs in a DVD player in my imagination.” Many AS and HFA children and teens can manipulate the pictures in their imagination, which helps them to learn different things. To access spoken information, they can be taught to replay a “video image” of the person talking to them. In some cases, this represents a slower way of thinking, but it generally gets the job done.

Visual thinking often puts people with AS and HFA in jobs that involve architecture or design. Not only is their visual learning superior, but their learning memory is more intact than other ways of remembering things.

Many individuals on the spectrum can create elaborate visual images of things as complex as computer programs and musical pieces, and then can fill in the rest of their knowledge around that. The thinking is often non-sequential so that pieces of knowledge are filled in like jigsaw puzzle pieces in no particular order.

When parents and teachers catch on to this method of thinking, it becomes easier to see the strengths the "special needs" student has -- and it becomes easier to find ways of using the visual imagery to teach concepts.



==> Teaching Students with Aspergers and HFA

Helping Teens on the Autism Spectrum to Cope with the Loss of Normalcy

“I have a 16 y.o. teen with high functioning autism who seems to be down in the dumps a lot lately. He has stated he knows he is ‘different’ than his friends and classmates, and may be feeling a sense of shame about that (IDK?). How can I help him to not feel so alienated from his peer group?”

Regardless of the individual developmental route, most young people with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s (AS) start realizing that they are not quite like others at some point during their adolescence. Around that age, they have a higher level of interest in others, but don’t have the skills to connect in socially-accepted ways. Also, they’re at the age where they have a higher level of insight into their difficulties with social interaction.

Signs that your HFA or AS teen is feeling depressed about his dilemma include:
  • Withdrawing himself from the rest of the family
  • Refusing to participate in group activities
  • Putting himself down (e.g., saying he is ‘stupid’)
  • Not being able to fall asleep
  • Waking up in the middle of the night and having difficulty falling back to sleep
  • Making remarks such as he hates life, he hates you, nobody loves him, or wishing he was dead
  • Losing interest in activities he usually enjoys
  • Eating less or more than usual
  • Complaining that he is tired all the time and wanting to take naps during the day
  • Blaming himself unfairly for anything that goes wrong
  • Becoming irritable and angry with the drop of a hat so that parents start walking on egg shells
  • Appearing sad for most of the time

Once the HFA or AS teenager realizes that he has significant difficulties effectively engaging in social relationships as compared to his peers, he needs deal with this loss, just like dealing with any other loss. Understanding the thoughts, feelings and behavior of your son is the necessary first step in helping him and being there for him. Considering this coping process in a few stages may make your job easier:
  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Depression
  4. Acceptance
  5. Adaptation

Most commonly, the teen will not go through these stages one after another, but rather display a larger or smaller aspect of each at any given time. This is a painful process for not only the teen, but for parents as well. Moms and dads may find themselves compelled to forget the whole thing and act as if nothing is happening (we are all tempted to avoid pain – and denial is an excellent pain-killer).

The good news is, as much as the denial is contagious, seeing his parents dealing with the pain calmly and matter-of-factly will encourage the teen to talk about his anger and frustration. This will in turn help him get closer to acceptance and adaptation.

==> Discipline for Defiant Aspergers & High-Functioning Autistic Teens

How parents can help:
  • You don’t have to bring up the fact that your teen feels alienated from the peer group, but when he does, give him a good listening ear and be patient.
  • When your teen starts to bemoan his circumstances, don’t try to change the subject (unless he does so).
  • Sometimes you have to be very political trying to sell an idea to any teenager. The mere fact that the idea is coming from you, his parent, may make him refuse it. Let the idea come from a family friend, teacher, or a neighbor he trusts. Give him time to think about it. He may come back to the suggestion when he feels he is ready.
  • Offer the option of counseling, because sometimes it is easier to talk to a stranger; however, try not to push the idea directly, even if you feel that your teenager clearly needs professional help.
  • Most teenagers with HFA and AS excel in one or two subjects. They tend to accumulate a lot of information on the subject and love to talk about it over and over. Unfortunately, family members eventually end up losing interest and start getting bored with the same topic over and over again. Rather than avoiding the subject, try finding out new ways to engage your teen in the subject. Structure the topic in a different way. Find a way to challenge him. Be creative and let sky be the limit! Your interest will make him feel better about himself, and realizing his mastery on the subject will boost his self-esteem.
  • Help your HFA or AS teen to resolve his sense of loss by turning the issue upside down. In other words, rather than clinging to depression and despair, help him to find his identity in his disorder. Help him get in touch with other young people on the spectrum. Encourage him to educate his peers about the disorder at school. Your “special needs” teenager could also set up a web site, chat room, and even write a book about it. Encouraging your teen to focus on the strengths associated with the disorder, and providing him means to this end and removing the obstacles in front of him may turn out to be the best anti-depressant treatment ever. 
  • Don’t try to minimize his difficulties – but also don’t let him exaggerate, providing gentle “reality testing.”



All of this may seem remote and you may not know where to start. Consider the following tips:
  • Leave brochures, leaflets and other information about teen groups around to catch the attention of your teenager.
  • Invite your friends and acquaintances to your house and encourage them to bring their adolescents (e.g., for a pizza party and movie).
  • Get in touch with the organizations like the Autism Society of America or Asperger Syndrome Coalition of the U.S. and contact their local chapters.
  • Attend support groups for parents and make acquaintances.
  • If your attempts to reconcile this issue of alienation don’t work right away, don’t get discouraged and keep trying, always letting your teen make the first move in showing an interest in processing and resolving his challenges.

==> Discipline for Defiant Aspergers & High-Functioning Autistic Teens

Crucial Strategies for Social-Skills Training: Tips for Parents of Kids on the Autism Spectrum

For most children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s (AS), the most important parenting strategy involves the need to enhance communication and social know-how. This emphasis is not an attempt to stifle individuality and uniqueness - and does not reflect a societal pressure for conformity. Instead, it reflects the fact that most children on the autism spectrum are not “loners” by choice.

As these “special needs” children become teenagers, they often experience a sense of hopelessness, negativism, anxiety, or depression due to their increasing awareness of personal inadequacy in social situations - and repeated experiences of failure to make and/or maintain relationships. The typical limitations of insight associated with the disorder often prevent the child from engaging in spontaneous self-adjustment to social and interpersonal demands.

The practice of social skills does not mean that the HFA or AS child will eventually acquire social spontaneity and naturalness (i.e., social skills are not intuitive to children on the autism spectrum as compared to “typical” kids). However, it does better prepare the child to cope with social and interpersonal expectations, thus enhancing his or her attractiveness as a conversational partner or as a potential friend.

Here are a few suggestions intended to foster relevant skills in this important area:

1.  Explicit verbal instructions on how to interpret other’s social behavior should be taught and exercised in a rote fashion, not unlike the teaching of a foreign language (i.e., all elements should be made verbally explicit and repeatedly drilled). For example, parents (and teachers) can teach the meaning of various inflections as well as tone of voice, non-literal communications (e.g., humor, figurative language, irony, sarcasm and metaphor), gaze, facial and hand gestures, eye contact, etc. The same principles should guide the training of the child’s expressive skills. Concrete situations can be practiced at home, and gradually tried out in naturally occurring situations.

2.  The effort to develop the child’s skills with peers in terms of managing social situations should be a priority. For example, ending topics appropriately, feeling comfortable with a range of topics that are typically discussed by same-age peers, shifting topics, the ability to expand and elaborate on a range of different topics initiated by others, topic management, etc.

3.  Encounters with unfamiliar people (e.g., making acquaintances) should be practiced until the child is made aware of the impact of his or her behavior on other people’s reactions to him/her. Strategies in the program could be: practicing in front of a mirror, listening to the recorded speech, watching a video recording of behavior, etc.

4.  The child with HFA or AS should learn to recognize and use a range of different means to disagree, discuss, interact, mediate, negotiate, and persuade through verbal means. Also, it is important to help the child to develop the ability to anticipate multiple outcomes, to explain motivation, to make inferences, and to predict in order to increase the flexibility with which he or she thinks about - and uses - language with others.

5.  The child on the autism spectrum should be taught to monitor his or her own speech style in terms of: adjusting depending on proximity to the speaker, context and the social situation, naturalness, number of people, background noise, rhythm, and volume.

Other crucial skills that parents and teachers can teach include:
  • reading the body language of others
  • learning to cope with mistakes
  • learning peer group problem-solving
  • becoming aware of their emotions
  • maintaining eye contact
  • maintaining appropriate personal space
  • understanding gestures and facial expressions
  • resolving conflict
  • taking turns
  • learning how to begin and end conversations
  • determining appropriate topics for conversation
  • interacting with authority figures
  • identifying one's feelings
  • recognizing the feelings of others
  • demonstrating empathy
  • decoding body language and facial expressions
  • determining whether someone is trustworthy
  • making choices
  • self-monitoring
  • understanding community norms

Social interactions are very complex, and the list presented above is not exhaustive in terms of the skills that HFA and AS children may need to successfully navigate social situations. Furthermore, each child’s “social-skill profile” is different. Some of these young people may have strong foundation skills but lack appropriate interaction skills, while others may require assistance in developing more basic skills (e.g., starting a conversation).

Traits of ASD that May Influence Criminal Behavior

“I'm currently studying law and was wanting to know what some of the characteristic features are that predispose to criminal offending for teens with [high-functioning] autism?”

First of all, let me be clear that there is little to no evidence that teens on the autism spectrum engage in criminal behavior any more than the general population of similar age. Second, the following characteristics may apply to some “typical” teenagers, not just those with ASD:

1.   Social naivety and the misinterpretation of relationships can leave the autistic teen open to exploitation as a stooge. His or her limited emotional knowledge can lead to a childish approach to adult situations and relationships, resulting in social blunders (e.g., in the mistaking of social attraction or friendship for love).

2.   Overriding obsessions can lead to offenses (e.g., stalking, compulsive theft). Harshly reprimanding the teen can increase anxiety - and consequently a reflective thinking of the unthinkable that increases the likelihood of repeating the offense.

3.   Misinterpreting rules, particularly social ones, teens on the spectrum may find themselves unwittingly embroiled in offenses (e.g., date rape).

4.   Lacking motivation to change, these young people may remain stuck in a risky pattern of behavior.

5.   For those teens who have been traumatized by teasing, rejection, and bullying from their peer group, “revenge-seeking behavior” may become their method of establishing equality (i.e., to even the score).

6.   The teen’s tendency to misjudge relationships and consequences can result in a risky openness (i.e., dangerous self-disclosure) and the revealing of private fantasies which, although no more shocking than any teen’s, are best not revealed.

7.   Impulsivity, sometimes violent, can be a component of comorbid ADHD or of anxiety turning into panic.

8.   Difficulty in judging the age of others can lead the teenager into illegal relationships and acts (e.g., sexual advances to somebody under age).

9.   An innate lack of concern for the outcome can be problematic (e.g., an assault that is disproportionately intense and damaging). Young people on the spectrum often lack insight and deny responsibility, blaming someone else, which may be part of an inability to see their inappropriate behavior as others see it.

10.   An innate lack of awareness of the outcome can lead the teen to embark on actions with unforeseen consequences (e.g., fire-setting may result in a building’s destruction).

Many of the traits listed above affect the teen’s ability to make logical decisions, thus limiting his or her level of responsibility. Whether the teen is identified as an “offender” (as distinct from someone who has committed an offense) depends on chance factors in his or her environment (e.g., effectiveness of his/her supervision, the recognition of ASD and the understanding of those around.


 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here
to read the full article...

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...

Succeeding in College: 10 Measures to Help Students on the Autism Spectrum

“We have a 19-year-old son with high-functioning autism that will be attempting college starting next summer (just 4 classes to start with). This is something he wants to do, although (sadly) my husband and I have our doubts that he will be able to ‘make it’. I know that sounds defeatist, but we’ve lived with him from birth and know how he usually reacts to an entirely new environment. My question is what can we do now to set him up for success? We would love to see him succeed!”

Graduating from high school and heading into post-secondary education usually creates a mix of emotions in ALL young people, but it can be an especially challenging time for those with an autism spectrum disorder (e.g., anticipation, fear, exhilaration, doubt).

As a mother, you’ve likely witnessed them all in your son. Maybe you’re feeling the same way as you figure out how best to support him as he takes this important step.

Here are 10 measures to help students with autistic spectrum disorders that should be in place before and/or during their new venture:

1.  An introductory program that includes first contacts (e.g., with a tutor), good induction and orientation (e.g., with maps of the campus and lists of important contacts and their roles), positive family contacts when appropriate and, above all, a flexible approach that adapts to the “special needs” student and his or her particular needs.

2.  A support service that has the skills and status to communicate with departments in order to help them to adapt to the needs of the students (e.g., by extending work deadlines, or modifying arrangements to enable the student to complete placements, laboratory work or fieldwork).

3.  A key worker, usually a postgraduate student or member of staff, to whom the student can go for immediate advice or support.
 

4.  A public education program and specific training, for both staff and students, to make them aware of autistic-spectrum disorders and their difficulties, and of the support service.

5.  A support network for isolated students. Group seminars, tutorial and study groups can all contribute, as can paired or group assignments and recreational activities.

6.  Help with managing allowances, budgeting and everyday skills (e.g., laundry and shopping). Mentorship schemes, possibly through the students’ union, can draw in other students.

7.  Safe places on campus where students can withdraw, calm down and refocus when anxiety or anger threaten to get out of control. The involvement of all elements, including the campus police and the students’ union, can allow fragile students to complete their course successfully as well as learn to manage their over-arousal.

8.  Specialist instruction to develop suitable study skills (e.g. language skills, structuring their work and organizing their approach to studying).

9.  The use of aids (e.g., handouts and audio recordings of lectures).

10.  Lastly, a clear and realistic plan for the student’s exit from college when he/she has completed the course. There should be reviews in the final year and, if the student is under 25 years old, it’s recommended that the student contact a “careers and employment advisory agency” designed to help people with special needs to graduate into adulthood.



==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and HFA: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance


BEST COMMENTS:

Unknown said...  We found that taking our daughter (18) on an organised tour of her college, class room location & a place where she could go to have her own time before the place was full of students helped her a great deal. The college also had a person who understood her needs that she could go to. Forward planning to make them feel comfortable is the key.
 

Unknown said...We found having a private room was extremely helpful, so worth the cost. We also found having someone as her advocate, someone who would talk to us and her throughout her weeks and months that understood that communication was needing assistance. What we learned through her experience and can pass along is that she hated eating in the cafeteria's but wouldn't go shopping either, so she would have benefitted from some support there, as she just wouldn't eat. And... she needed accomodations to have her pet (even a snake would have been good), as this was her coping mechanism since she was eight years old.

Reasons for "Rigidity" in Children on the Autism Spectrum

One frequently observed feature of Aspergers (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) is rigidity in thought and behavior. Rigidity seems to pervade so many areas of the lives of children with the disorder. Novel situations often produce anxiety for them. They may be uncomfortable with change in general. 
 
This can result in behavior that may be viewed as oppositional and can lead to emotional meltdowns. This general rigidity is what parents, neighbors, and teachers often label as stubbornness.

Children with AS and HFA may have many fears in addition to those related to unexpected changes in schedules. Large groups of people and complex, open environments like school hallways, cafeterias, playgrounds, or bus stations tend to overwhelm these young people. They may also be overwhelmed by unexpected academic challenge or by having too many things to remember or too many tasks to perform. 
 

They often have limited frustration tolerance and may display tantrums when thwarted. Routines and rules are very important to kids on the autism spectrum in providing a sense of needed order and structure, and hence, predictability about the world.

Another form or rigidity is moralism, a kind of self-righteous and inflexible adherence to nonnegotiable moral principles that is often out of context with practical reality. An example might be a youngster who criticizes a parent who has run a yellow traffic light when the parent is on the way to the emergency room for treatment of a severe cut or burn.

Rigidity is also found in the inflexibility over matters that are of little consequence, such as arguing about whether the route to the emergency room was the quickest when it might be the difference between a few hundred yards by choosing to take one turn over another. In the classroom, this may be found when an AS or HFA student fixates on a perception that a teacher has not enforced a rule consistently. Such fixations on moral correctness can escalate and interfere with availability for instruction.

Reasons for Rigidity—

1. A misunderstanding or misinterpretation of the actions of others.

2. A violation of a rule or ritual – changing something from the way it is supposed to be. Someone is violating a rule and this is unacceptable to the ASor HFA youngster. 

3. Anxiety about a current or upcoming event, no matter how trivial it might appear to you. 

4. Immediate gratification of a need. 

5. Lack of knowledge about how something is done. By not knowing how the world works with regard to specific situations and events, the youth will act inappropriately instead. 

6. Other internal issues, such as sensory, inattention (ADHD), oppositional tendency (ODD), or other psychiatric issues may also be causes of behavior. 

7. The need to avoid or escape from a non-preferred activity, often something difficult or undesirable. Often, if your son/daughter cannot be perfect, he/she does not want to engage in an activity.

8. The need to control a situation. 

9. The need to engage in or continue a preferred activity, usually an obsessive action or fantasy. 

10. Transitioning from one activity to another. This is usually a problem because it may mean ending an activity before he is finished with it.

Many children on the spectrum have a hard time with changes. The reason for this behavior can be caused by anxiety, and this anxiety results in rigidity.

  ==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's
 
Here are the reasons AS and HFA kids are so resistant to any kind of change:
  • anxiety about a current or upcoming event (e.g., the start of school)
  • not understanding how the world works
  • not understanding the actions of someone else
  • other issues like Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)
  • reluctant to participate in an activity the child cannot do perfectly or an activity that is difficult for him.
  • someone changing a circumstance or rule that has been established
  • the need for instant satisfaction, the child may not understand delayed gratification
  • the need to control a situation
  • the need to keep doing the activity that the child likes (obsession or fantasy)
  • transitioning to another activity, this is especially hard if the activity is not finished

The cause of anxiety or rigidity in your child has a lot to do with the fact that he or she does not have the ability to understand the world like we do.

Because of this "neuro-cognitive" disorder, the child:
  • does not “take in” what is going on around him or her her
  • does not know how to “read between the lines”
  • does not understand implied directions
  • does not understand social cues
  • needs explicit instructions
  • will have difficulty understanding rules of society

Facts” are what kids with AS and HFA learn and feel less anxious about. Since they have a hard time with all the normal rules of society, having “rules” has a calming effect on them. They think, “This is the rule. I can handle it o.k.” Facts also have to be from someone they think is an “expert” in their eyes. Teachers and doctors may have this leverage with them, but moms and dads are, for the most part, not considered “experts.”

Understanding what causes so much anxiety, tantrums, and out of control behavior helps parents to know where their child is coming from, and with that, they will be able to help him or her become a healthy and happy adult.

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here
to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...

Defiant, Oppositional Teens on the Autism Spectrum: Simple Parenting Tips that Work Wonders

Parenting defiant teenagers with ASD level 1 (or High Functioning Autism) is tough (if you don’t how that is). Below are some quick tips to give parents some relief from the power-struggles. None of these strategies are particularly profound, but when used wisely and consistently, they can make bad problems significantly better - especially when used in combination with one another!

1. Active Listening – Some behaviors are bids for attention or expressions of frustration at not feeling understood. Moms and dads can reduce problem behaviors when each defiant youngster feels genuinely cared about, understood, and paid attention to. Active listening is hard work and takes energy and practice. It cannot be done when thinking about or attending to other things, or when distractions occur. Active listening need not last a long time, but attention must be focused completely on the children and the message must be communicated back to them in the listeners own words in a way that lets them know they really were heard.

Body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, eye contact, respect for personal space, and choices of words are all important in communicating the desired message. It may take two or three attempts to really understand the message, and that is okay, as long as it is finally understood accurately and that is clearly demonstrated. A few brief exchanges of this sort for each youngster every day are necessary.

2. Consequencing – Consequences may be used to discourage unacceptable behavior of defiant teenagers. Usually this will occur after other techniques have been tried unsuccessfully. Consequences should not be confused with punishment; nor should they ever be given in anger. They should be applied consistently. That means that the behavior consequenced today, will again be consequenced next week. Also, behavior consequenced for one child will not be allowed for others. This consistency lowers anxiety by making the environment predictable. Consequences are given to help children establish boundaries. Consequences should be clearly explained, related to the behavior, and completed as soon as possible.

A parent who is angry with a child should calm down before deciding a consequence and if applicable should consult with the other parent before doing so. Consequences are more effective when discussed matter-of-factly from a caring and controlled point of view. Moms and dads should regularly discuss the effectiveness of consequences for the specific child and should always support each other in the positive discipline process.
 
3. Encouraging/Coaching – Encouragement, praise, and coaching are all effective ways to make pro-social behaviors more likely and more frequent. The stronger the relationship between parent and a given youngster, the more powerful this method becomes.

4. Ignoring Behavior – Moms and dads may consciously decide to ignore certain behaviors of their defiant teenager at times in an effort to extinguish the behavior by not reacting to it. The behavior may be inconsequential, may be designed just to "get a reaction," or may be masking another, more important, issue which is what really needs attention. Ignoring a behavior should not stop communication or relationship building. It is a specific behavior that is being ignored, not the person. Examples might include using certain words, attempts to provoke or annoy moms and dads, making personal comment to or about parents, saying "I won’t" or "you can’t make me," etc.

5. Logical Consequences – Logical consequences may be necessary when no natural one occurs, or when the natural one is insufficient to make a change in future behavior. An example would be a defiant child causing a disturbance at an event, not being allowed to attend the next one.

6. Natural Consequences – Sometimes consequences occur through the natural course of events (such as a child coming home late from school and missing a phone call from a friend). If the natural course of events makes an impact by teaching a lesson, moms and dads need not intervene further. They can be sympathetic to the child’s plight (this must be genuine however, and never patronizing or sarcastic).

7. Observing and Commenting – A parent may choose to comment on a behavior in a non-threatening, non-judgmental way to bring it to the attention of the youngster. This may be new information for the child to think about. What they choose to do with that feedback will provide further opportunities for discussion and teaching. For instance, "I notice you tend to be critical of others when they are taking about a success" or "You seem to only break the rules when you are in a group" etc.

8. Physical Proximity – Sometimes a defiant youngster who is beginning to become anxious, irritable or overly active will be calmed down by eye contact, a special "look" or signal, moving next to them or a reassuring hand on the arm or shoulder. Along with physical proximity it is important to be calm and reassuring.

9. Pre-Teaching – It is easier to prevent negative behaviors than to deal with them after they occur. A very effective tool is to pre-teach behavior prior to an event or potentially vulnerable situation. This involves talking with the person or group in detail about what will be happening, why, and what their role and expected behaviors will be. Pre-teaching reduces anxiety, clarifies expectations, builds confidence, sets up success, and can add to the fun of anticipating an event.

10. Redirecting – Commonly used with younger defiant kids or those with short attention spans, this technique simply stops one behavior by substituting another or diverting the attention of the child or group to a different subject or activity.
 

11. Re-Focus - A defiant child may be asked to spend time thinking about something (such as a recent run-away or self mutilation) and express their feelings and thoughts in some way. This could be writing, poetry, drawing, etc. Whatever format is used, it then needs to be processed with the teenager. They can then be assisted in identifying early clues and practicing alternative responses. The purpose of this type of activity is to encourage thinking, self-awareness, communication, and planning for different choices in the future.

12. Requesting – When there is a good relationship between the parent and youngster, a simple request to do, or stop doing, something or a re-stating of the expectations is often enough. If over-used, however, it may become less effective, may be experienced by the child as overly controlling, or can slow the process of responsible growth and decision-making skills. Example: "Michelle, we don’t use that type of language here, could you please find a different word?"

13. Rewarding/Reinforcing – Rewarding positive behavior is the best way to ensure its continuation. A common error in parenting is to spend so much time and energy dealing with crises and negative behaviors, that kids who are being responsible can either get "lost" or are tempted to act less responsible to become part of the action.

Rewards can take many forms from simple a comment: "I noticed that you…." or "I really appreciated it when you…" to special time and attention or more concrete things such as a special treat or privilege. For every negative interaction the child experiences, it takes four positive interaction to overcome the effects. Moms and dads need to be very deliberate about maintaining at least a 4:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions every day with every child.
 
14. RIGHTS – (such as food, clothing, therapy, medical attention, education, and spiritual activities) are NEVER withheld as a consequence. Privileges (such as television, telephone, radio, some activities, free time, visiting with friends, hobbies, walking around the grounds, etc.) may be temporarily withheld as logical consequences and can be powerful incentives for some teenagers.

15. Role Modeling – Most of what kids learn from adults comes from simply observing. All moms and dads are role models to their kids and need to be very conscious of their own behavior. Kids are astute observers of how we treat them, how we relate to each other and how we take care of ourselves.

16. Role Playing/Rehearsing – This technique can be used to practice for an upcoming situation that may be difficult, foreign, or anxiety producing or to re-create a situation that already occurred to experience alternative responses. Examples should include role-playing a situation in which the child was angry and became physically or emotionally abusive; or one in which they demanded or sulked instead of negotiating.

The purpose of the role-play is to practice more acceptable styles of self-expression while still making their intended point. Practicing of this sort will make the desired responses more likely in future similar situations. Role playing can also be used to practice saying something that is difficult or anticipating a variety of responses in order to reduce anxiety.
 
17. Sequencing – Desirable behaviors can be used as motivating for less desirable ones. For example – "You may watch one hour of approved TV as soon as your book report is satisfactorily completed" or "you may make that phone call as soon as you have finished cleaning up the kitchen." This type of statement helps the Parent avoid power struggles because they did not say, "no." It puts the struggle and control back with the youngster, where it belongs. They can then choose whether or not they will watch TV today and when (within limits). A version of this can be re-stated calmly and compassionately as often as necessary while the child struggles with their choice.

18. Shaping – Shaping behaviors is an approach that breaks skills down into steps and rewards small movements in the right direction. For instance, if you are trying to teach the skill of greeting a visitor, you would ultimately want the child to go through the following series of behaviors: stop what they are doing, stand up, look a the visitor, walk over to them, make eye contact, smile, say "hello," extend their right hand to shake, say "my name is…," etc. To ask for all of that from someone who has never done it before, or who is shy, is asking too much.

So at first they would be rewarded if they momentarily stopped what they were doing when someone new cam in. After a few times they would need to stop what they were doing, stand up and look in the direction of the visitor in order to be praised, and so on. In other words new skills are not all or nothing but are a series of steps to be learned.

19. Substitution – It is never enough to tell children what they can’t do or what behaviors they must stop doing. We must always add what they CAN do instead. Some examples might be ideas such as, "You cannot hit your roommate when you are angry, but you can go for a brisk walk, write in your journal, talk about how you feel, etc." The goal is to replace or substitute an unacceptable behavior with one that is acceptable and still meets the same need. The message should always be, "your needs and feelings are normal and okay and we are here to help you express them in ways that will allow you to be successful and responsible."
 
20. Teaching Alternatives – A good way to teach children personal responsibility is to spend time brainstorming together about all the possible responses, and predicting the reactions to each response. Instead of telling them what to do and what not to do (which can elicit dependency or oppositional responses); it is useful to spend time exploring different options. For example, instead of saying "don’t say that to your dad" it is better to say something like "that’s one way you could handle it. How do you think he would respond to that?" "Is that the response you want from him?" "How else might you phrase that idea?", etc. If they have trouble coming up with alternatives, you can help out by saying, "Do you want to know what some other people have tried?"

21. Teaching Interactions – Effective parenting requires frequent interactions. Situations, both dramatic and mundane, present themselves continually. Moms and dads, who recognize the golden opportunities in routine living tasks, capitalize upon them by turning them into teaching interactions, build solid relationships, have fewer behavior problems, and receive daily rewards. Problems = teachable moments. Teaching interactions can take several forms such as demonstrating a skill; processing dynamics (such as "have you noticed that when someone doesn’t fulfill their responsibility; others become resentful and peopled become irritable with one another?"); teaching a concept (such as negotiation); or others.

The point is that on-duty parents should always be interacting with children, and the nature of those interactions is teaching; rather than lecturing, punishing, judging, criticizing, doing for, or becoming friends with the youngster. Again, problems = teachable moments.

22. Temporarily Removing One or More Privileges – It is not meaningful or realistic to "remove all privileges." This generally leads to resentment towards the adult and a lack of understanding or personal responsibility. When this technique is chosen, 1) it must be made clear to the teenager exactly which privileges(s) will be removed, 2)why it is being removed, 3) exactly how it will be handled, 4) and for what time period. If there is something they can do to get the privilege(s) reinstated sooner, that should also be clearly explained. Note: this requires more thought and explanation than simply saying, "your grounded."

23. Tolerating Behavior – When establishing a relationship or dealing with multiple behaviors, it may be necessary to tolerate some behaviors temporarily. This is a purposeful, thought-out choice on the part of the parent based upon priorities, values, relationship, age and developmental level of the child involved, current situation, and specific treatment issues. This is not to be confused with passivity, avoiding conflict, letting the youngster "do whatever they want," inconsistently enforcing expectations or other methods that don’t work.

24. Writing Assignments – Education sometimes alters behavior. Examples include researching the long-term effects of smoking or drug usage; talking with teenage parents to learn what sacrifices they have made; learning about a particular culture, religion or disability in order to develop understanding or tolerance, etc. Such an assignment should include considerable thinking, learning, and dialogue with parents, rather than simply writing a certain number of words without much independent thought.

 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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Top 10 School Concerns for Students on the Autism Spectrum

Thousands of kids face life with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA). These young people have (a) rigid behaviors that are often exhibited as an insistence on a specific order of events, a compulsion to complete what was started, an insistence on rules, a difficulty with transitions, or a fear that is based on a single experience; (b) obsessive interests that may be similar to the interests of other kids, but they are unlike other kids because their restricted interest is the only activity in which they participate; (c) difficulty predicting the future, insisting that things happen in a certain order; (d) an inability to recognize that there are times when rules can be renegotiated, bent, or broken; and (e) a restricted range of interests that can take unusual or eccentric forms (e.g., some may be interested in unusual things, such as washing machines, bus timetables, or subway maps).

In addition, many kids with AS and HFA have additional psychiatric diagnoses (e.g., ADHD) when they are young, and depression or anxiety when they are teenagers and young adults. Even though these children and teens often lack the emotional resources to cope with the demands of the classroom, they do not always demonstrate stress through their tone of voice or body posture. As a result, their inner turmoil may escalate to a point of crisis before parents or teachers recognize their discomfort.

Children with AS and HFA generally have average to above-average intelligence and frequently have good rote memory skills. But they may lack higher-level thinking and comprehension skills and have poor problem-solving skills. Because many can decode words well, their impressive vocabularies may give a false impression that they understand everything they say or read.



Here are 10 of the most common school concerns faced by these “special needs” students:
  1. very focused areas of interest and expertise
  2. problems with social interactions
  3. problems with sensory hyper- or hypo-sensitivity
  4. problems with ritualistic, repetitive, or rigid behavior
  5. problems with motor issues including written production
  6. problems with language
  7. problems with attention, organization, and other areas of executive functioning
  8. problems with anxiety, depression, and emotional regulation
  9. problems with abstract reasoning
  10. need for predictability

 ==> The Complete Guide to Teaching Students with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

Teachers should be aware that changes in behavior (e.g., greater levels of disorganization, inattentiveness, isolation, etc.) may be indicative of anxiety or depression. Because these “special needs” kids typically have difficulty identifying their own emotions, they may not be able to acknowledge that they are sad or depressed. Teachers need to be aware of the signs of agitation to initiate interventions to avert an emotional crisis.

Here are 15 simple strategies to help students on the autism spectrum cope more effectively during the school day:
  1. Use humor to diffuse tension.
  2. Teach cause-and-effect concepts.
  3. Teach anger-control skills.
  4. Teach an appropriate replacement behavior when extinguishing an inappropriate behavior (e.g., teach the child to engage in such appropriate waiting behavior as counting slowly to 10 rather than screaming to gain the teacher’s attention).
  5. Shorten or modify their written assignments and consider allowing them to use a word processor or computer.
  6. Set up consistent routines with clear expectations throughout the day. 
  7. Warn the child of upcoming transitions and try to avoid surprises.
  8.  Provide visual schedules so they know what is happening throughout the school day.
  9. Provide a predictable and safe environment that avoids things that could trigger rage or a meltdown. Because other students can be a trigger for this behavior, it may be wise to limit interaction.
  10. Link their obsessive interest in a single subject to another subject that is being studied in class.
  11. Limit opportunities for obsessive talk about special interests by providing a specific time of day for this behavior. 
  12. Use the child’s fixations as a method to broaden his or her repertoire of interests.
  13. Create a safe place for the child to go when he or she feels a need to regain control. 
  14. Have a few “safe escapes” (e.g., sending the child on a simple errand that removes him or her from difficult situations in a non-punitive manner).
  15. Capitalize on their exceptional memory skills by providing them with opportunities to demonstrate their factual knowledge in class.

==> The Complete Guide to Teaching Students with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

Social Deficits in Team Sports and PE: Help for Kids on the Autism Spectrum

Most kids participate in physical activity with their peers, both within and outside the school setting. Social skills play an essential role in peer interactions.

Children with ASD or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) often have difficulty playing with peers, because they have difficulty handling reciprocal conversation, making eye contact, playing social games, sharing with others, taking turns, understanding social cues, and simply making friends.

Even though kids on the autism spectrum desire social interaction with others, they have a hard time finding and keeping friends due to their social difficulties that frequently stem from a lack of skill in initiating and responding to various situations.

Other areas of impairment that relate to social interactions in kids with HFA include:
  • problems with social distance (i.e., knowledge of personal space)
  • difficulty understanding unwritten rules, and when they do learn these rules, many apply them rigidly
  • interpreting things literally
  • difficulty adapting to the social demands placed on them in the school setting 
  • intense isolation is often a defining feature of their disorder

Many of these young people describe themselves as feeling depressed or anxious, and a major trigger for feelings of anxiety is having to initiate social interactions.

Researchers have identified other critical social skills that kids with HFA often do not acquire, including: understanding and using body language, learning strategies related to initiating and ending conversations, giving and receiving compliments, and empathizing with others. In addition, kids on the autism spectrum often experience difficulty accepting winning and losing - and handling criticism of performances.

Social settings that involve physical activity (e.g., basketball, physical education class, etc.) often heighten the anxiety levels of kids on the spectrum due to their gross and fine motor skills deficits. The physical ability of these young people is often lower than that of their same-aged peers.

As one teenager with ASD stated: 

“People tend to ask me how having autism affected me on a social level. A better question would be how it has not affected my life. Everything from my ability to make and keep friends, to interacting with peers, to playing sports, to understanding my emotions and feelings, to my ability to handle stress and anxiety are all affected. In short, it has affected me in almost every way possible. More specifically, in elementary school, I simply had no idea of what to do or say to my peers, so I kept my distance. In junior high, I hated PE, the teasing was worse and I didn't do well.”




Techniques that parents and teachers can use in the physical education setting and/or team sports include the following:

1.   Pairing children and allowing them to work with a partner in various activities is a successful method for increasing appropriate social interaction.

2.   Sensitive “peer-buddies” may encourage appropriate social interaction. In addition, they can help kids with HFA by clarifying questions or by giving them clues to help them follow instructions that the coach or physical educator gives.

3.   Monitor social interactions closely to ensure that kids on the autism spectrum stay on task and do not dominate the conversation - and to ensure that other children do not intentionally prevent kids with AS/HFA from interacting with the group.

4.   Reduce wait time. Children on the spectrum often display inappropriate behavior during unnecessary wait times. Keeping these young people active can increase physical activity and appropriate behavior.

5.   If a visual cue is not a sufficient adaptation, the physical educator or coach may consider role-playing to teach conversational interactions and other social skills. Many kids with HFA need direct instruction in such social skills as initiating conversation and taking turns.

6.   Role-playing activities also can help teachers and coaches instruct children in appropriate equipment use. Role-playing can simplify the often-complex skills of using equipment appropriately.

7.   “Social Stories” provide a framework for improving social interactions often found in team sports and the physical education setting. An example of an effective story is “how to successfully follow the rules of a game.”

8.   Use visual cues. When an HFA child dominates a conversation or takes control, he is often not aware of the occurrence. Developing a specific sign to share privately with the “special needs” child can serve as a cue to him to allow others to take part in the conversation. The use of nonverbal cues gives the youngster an opportunity to work on such skills as taking turns during conversation and during games and activities.


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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Navigating the Journey: Stages a Parent Goes Through Upon Learning Their Child Has ASD

Receiving a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) for a child can be a life-altering moment for any parent. The journey is often marke...