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Attribution Retraining: Helping Kids on the Spectrum to "Check the Evidence" Before Reacting

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One common effect of misinterpretation for children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) is the development of distrust in others (perhaps even mild paranoia). This is largely due to impaired Theory of Mind skills in the cognitive profile of these young people.

A “theory of mind” is the ability that we all have in order to make sense of the world we live in. Every person’s thoughts, knowledge, beliefs and desires make up his or her own unique theory of mind. Kids on the autism spectrum have some difficulties conceptualizing and appreciating the thoughts and feelings of others. It’s this “mind-blindness” that makes it difficult for these young people to be able to relate to - and understand - the behaviors of others. By failing to account for other’s perspectives, kids on the autism spectrum tend to misinterpret their messages.
 
==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Mind-blindness also means the HFA child has difficulty in distinguishing whether someone's actions are intentional or accidental. “Typical” (i.e., non-autistic) kids will know from the context, body language, and character of the other person involved that the intent was not to cause distress or injury. But, children on the autism spectrum often focus primarily on the act and the consequences (e.g., “He bumped into me and it hurt, so it was intentional”), whereas most typical children would consider the circumstances (e.g., “He was running, tripped, and accidentally fell into me”).

With HFA children, there may need to be training in checking the evidence before over-reacting to the event and/or person in question. This training is called “attribution retraining.” The “mind-blind” youngster often blames others exclusively and tends not to consider his or her own contribution – or conversely, the youngster can excessively blame him/herself for events.

One aspect of HFA is a tendency for some children to adopt an attitude of arrogance where the perceived focus-of-control is external. When the “special needs” child believes he was the victim of some form of injustice, the “perpetrator” may be held responsible and become the target for retribution or punishment.

Kids on the spectrum have considerable difficulty accepting that they themselves have contributed to the event. However, the opposite can occur when the child has extremely low self-esteem and feels personally responsible, which results in feelings of anxiety and guilt.

In addition, kids on the spectrum often have a strong sense of what is right and wrong – and may exhibit a striking reaction if others violate the social “laws.” The youngster may be notorious as the class “policeman,” dispensing justice but not realizing what is within his or her authority.

Attribution retraining involves establishing the reality of the situation, the various participants' contributions to an incident, and determining how the HFA or AS child can change his/her perception and response.
 
==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

A part of social-skills training for your HFA child will revolve around how he “attributes” his success, and will likely require some attribution retraining to take place.  This is when you retrain your child to think about his success as something he actively influences, not something of which he is a victim. 

There are 4 main factors to which we can attribute success or failure: effort, ability, luck, and task difficulty:
  • A child attributing “effort” may say, “I worked hard/was lazy, that’s why I did so good/didn’t accomplish my goal.”
  • A child attributing “ability” may say, “I’m so intelligent/stupid, this is why I succeeded/failed.”  
  • A child attributing “luck” may say, “I was/wasn’t wearing my lucky shirt today, which is why I won/lost the game.”  
  • A child attributing “task difficulty” may say, “The test was so easy/hard, that’s why I passed/failed.”

Children don’t have any control over luck or task difficulty, and ability is gained through gaining knowledge and skills. Thus, the only aspect that children can directly influence on a regular basis is their effort.  This is where attribution retraining takes place. 

When a child attributes her success or failure to something outside her effort, it’s the parents’ opportunity to redirect her (i.e., attribution retraining).  The child who adopts an effort-based belief gains an “internal locus of control” (i.e., believes she is in control of circumstances) and subsequently feels empowered.  The child comes to believe that she has enough ability that – with effort – she can be successful.


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
----------
 
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...
By

Helping Your Irrational Child on the Autism Spectrum to Be More Rational

CLICK TO ENLARGE

Children with ASD level 1, or High-Functioning Autism, are known to misinterpret other people’s feelings, motives, behaviors, etc. “Cognitive restructuring” is a fancy term that simply means helping these young people to correct their distorted conceptualizations and dysfunctional beliefs. The process, which parents can implement, involves challenging their current thinking with logical evidence and ensuring the rationalization and cognitive control of their emotions.

The first stage is to establish the evidence for a particular belief. Kids on the autism spectrum can make false assumptions of their circumstances and the intentions of others. They have a tendency to make a literal interpretation (e.g., a casual comment may be taken out of context or may be taken to the extreme).

For instance, a teenage male with ASD was once told his voice was “breaking.” He became extremely anxious that his voice was becoming faulty and decided to consciously alter the pitch of his voice to repair it. The result was an artificial falsetto voice that was incongruous in a young man.

In another case, an adolescent female with Asperger’s overheard a conversation at school that implied that girls MUST BE slim to be popular. She then achieved a dramatic weight loss in an attempt to be accepted by her peers.

We’re all vulnerable to distorted thoughts and beliefs, but children with autism are less able to put things in perspective, seek clarification, and consider alternative explanations or responses. Thus, it’s important for parents to encourage their child to be more flexible in his or her thinking and to seek clarification using questions or comments (e.g., “Are you kidding?” or “I'm puzzled about what you just said.”).

Such comments also can be used when misinterpreting someone's intentions (e.g., “Did you mean to do that?”) and to rescue the situation after the child has made an inappropriate response with a comment such as, “I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to offended you,” or “My mistake. What should I have done?”

To explain a new perspective or to correct errors or assumptions, comic strip conversations can help the ASD child to determine the thoughts, beliefs, and intentions of the other person(s) in a given situation. This technique involves drawing an event or sequence of events in storyboard form with stick figures to represent each participant, and speech and thought bubbles to represent their words and thoughts.

You and your child can use an assortment of fibro-tipped colored pens, with each color representing an emotion. As you write in the speech or thought bubbles, the child’s choice of color indicates his or her perception of the emotion conveyed or intended. 
 
This can clarify the child’s interpretation of events and the rationale for his or her thoughts and response, and can also help to identify and correct any misperception and determine how alternative responses might affect others’ thoughts and feelings.
 
 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
----------
 
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...
By

Affective Education: Teaching Children on the Autism Spectrum About Emotions


Does your child have difficulty expressing troubling emotions using his or her words rather than acting-out? Does your child seem to lack an understanding about the emotions of other people? If so, here are some ways to educate your child on the subject:

The main goal of Affective Education is to teach children with ASD level 1, or High-Functioning Autism (HFA), why they have emotions, their use and misuse, and the identification of different levels of expression. A basic principle is to explore one emotion at a time as a theme for a project.

The choice of which emotion to start with is decided by the parent (or teacher), but a useful starting point is happiness or pleasure. A scrapbook can be created that illustrates the emotion. This can include pictures of people expressing the different degrees of happiness, but can be extended to pictures of objects and situations that have a personal association with the feeling (e.g., a photograph of a rare lizard for a child with a special interest in reptiles).

The content of the scrapbook also can include sensations that may elicit the feeling of happiness or pleasure (e.g., aromas and textures), and/or can be used as a diary to include compliments, and records of achievement (e.g., certificates and memorabilia).
 
==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Affective Education includes the parent describing - and the child discovering - the relevant cues that indicate a particular level of emotional expression in facial expression, tone of voice, body language, and context. The face can be described as an “information center” for emotions.

The typical errors that children with HFA make when trying to comprehend emotions include not identifying which cues are relevant or redundant, and misinterpreting cues. The parent can use a range of games to “spot the message” and explain the multiple meanings (e.g., a furrowed brow can mean anger or bewilderment, or may be a sign of aging skin; a loud voice does not automatically mean that an individual is angry).

Once the key elements that indicate a particular emotion have been identified, it’s important to use an “instrument” to measure the degree of intensity. The parent can construct a model “thermometer,” “gauge,” or volume control, and can use a range of activities to define the level of expression (e.g., the parent can create a selection of pictures of happy faces and place each picture at the appropriate point on the instrument).

Some kids on the spectrum can use extreme statements (e.g., “I am going to kill myself”) to express a level of emotion that would be more moderately expressed by a “non-autistic” child. During a program of Affective Education, the parent often has to increase the child’s vocabulary of emotional expression to ensure precision and accuracy.

Affective Education not only includes activities to detect specific degrees of emotion in others - but also in oneself. The child (and those who know him well) can create a list of his physical, cognitive, and behavioral cues that indicate his increase in emotional arousal. The degree of expression can be measured using one of the special instruments mentioned earlier (e.g., an emotion thermometer). One of the aspects of Affective Education is to help the child perceive his “early warning signals” that indicate emotional arousal that may need cognitive control.
 
==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

When a particular emotion and the levels of expression are understood, the next part of Affective Education can be to use the same procedures for a contrasting emotion. For example, after exploring happiness, the next emotion explored might be sadness. Feeling relaxed would be explored before a project on feeling anxious. In addition, the child should be encouraged to understand that certain thoughts or emotions are “antidotes” to other feelings (e.g., some strategies or activities associated with feeling happy may be used to counteract feeling sad).

Many children with HFA have considerable difficulty translating their feelings into conversational words. The parent can create “comic strip conversations” that use figures with speech and thought bubbles (e.g., a cartoon of an angry boy who is thinking to himself, “I’m really upset right now”).

Other activities to be considered in Affective Education are the creation of a photograph album that includes pictures of the child and family members expressing particular emotions, or video recordings of the child expressing her feelings in real-life situations. This can be particularly valuable to demonstrate the child’s behavior when expressing anger.

Another activity called “Guess the Message” can include the presentation of specific cues to indicate doubt (e.g., a raised eyebrow), surprise (e.g., wide-opened mouth and eyes), disgust (e.g., crinkled nose with tongue sticking out), and so on.

Lastly, it’s important to incorporate the child’s special interest in the program (e.g., a child whose special interest is the weather and has suggested that his emotions are expressed as a weather report). 


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
----------
 
By

Adjusting the Physical Environment to Decrease Anxiety and Increase Compliance in Kids on the Spectrum

To make interventions that will decrease anxiety and increase compliance in children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s, parents need to create an environment in which their youngster feels comfortable and has an understanding of the events taking place around him or her. 

The environment needs to provide:
  • Structure
  • Routine
  • Predictability
  • Organization
  • Consistency
  • Logically explained rules
  • Clear rewards and consequences in response to these rules

When this is in place, the “special needs” youngster will begin to feel competent.

Here are the 4 steps to creating an optimal environment for young people on the autism spectrum:

1. Reinforcers (i.e., things that increase desired behavior) will need to be very individualized, because kids and teens with HFA and Asperger’s often don’t respond to typical reinforcers. Parents must be well aware of what their youngster views as a reward. Points to consider:
  • Reinforcers can cause difficulties if they are used too frequently. Not only will they lose their potency, but problems will arise over the giving - or not giving - of the reward.
  • Parents need to make sure their youngster is aware of how the reward/consequence system works. 
  • Natural consequences can be highly effective and will remove the "giving" or "denying" of the reward from parents (e.g., "If you finish your morning routine within 10 minutes, you will have time to play your favorite video game before school. If you take too long, you will not be able to play"). 
  • Incorporating the child’s obsessions into a reinforcement system is an appropriate way of offering a strong reinforcer and of also controlling access to the obsession. 
  • Favored activities should follow less favored or challenging activities.
 
2. At home and school, develop a daily routine so that the HFA or Asperger’s youngster knows what he or she is doing - and when. Points to consider:
  • Posting a schedule and reviewing it when the youngster becomes "stuck" can provide the necessary prompt to move on.
  • As parents review the schedule, they not only lessen anxiety, but also provide an opportunity to discuss appropriate responding. 
  • Compliance is not a struggle between the parent and child, but rather simply a matter of following the schedule. 
  • For teenagers, rather than using a written schedule, parents could use a desk calendar or day planner, which accomplishes the goal of providing a visual guide.
  • Parents should establish a routine for only a small portion of the day if they feel a day-long schedule would be too great a change for their youngster (e.g., create a schedule for an activity, such as going to the store, as an easier place to start). 
  • The child should view the schedule as a “guide.” A guide will serve to decrease anxiety, which in turn decreases behavior issues. 
  • When developing a schedule, number the items on it (e.g., 1, 2, 3 and so on), but avoid assigning times to each event or activity. It’s difficult to do things to the minute, and failure to do so can lead to further distress for the youngster.

3. The parent-child relationship with the HFA or Asperger’s youngster must be consistent in both word and action. Points to consider:
  • Interactions must be stable, allowing the youngster to anticipate how he or she will respond.
  • Make requests and follow through. Don't make second requests, and don't plead.
  • Make the rules and stick to them! Going "easy" on the child or giving him or her a "break" from the rules periodically will hinder the parent’s effectiveness.
  • Parents must be highly organized and pay attention to details as they create a structured environment for their youngster; however, they must also be able to remain flexible within this structure. By doing so, they will provide the structure their youngster needs to learn to be flexible as well.
  • The child must see the parent as a predictable person – a person in control, who is calm, and who keeps his/her word. 
  • The child must also see the parent as someone who can help him/her understand the world around him/her. 
  • And the child must view the parent as his or her helper or problem-solver. If the parent is only seen as a problem-causer, his or her effectiveness will be minimal.

4. The physical environment must be consistent. Points to consider:
  • Use the letters of the youngster's name placed on a chart to keep track of consequences. Throughout the day, if letters have been received, they can slowly be erased for positive responding. This provides a good visual response for appropriate behaviors, and parents can deliver this feedback (depending on the youngster's needs) every ten minutes, fifteen minutes, two hours, or whatever the parent thinks will work best.
  • Use charts with stickers to keep track of reward systems. 
  • Use consistent materials that are clearly marked and accessible (e.g., toys that are within easy reach and stored in or near the area they will be used).
  • Parents need to identify clear physical boundaries (e.g., a planned seating arrangement in school or a planned play area at home). 
  • In all locations, parents need to identify consistent areas where specific activities are completed (e.g., homework is always completed at the desk or kitchen table).
  • Expectations, rules, rewards, and consequences should be visually available – and must be clearly described to the youngster.
  • Certain designated areas/activities should have consistent behavioral expectations, which are explained to the youngster (e.g., "At my desk I do calm sitting; calm sitting is modeled and practiced”).

The creation of an effective environment will take time and will require parents to examine more details than they knew existed. The reward, however, will be the relief of watching the HFA or Asperger’s youngster leave his or her anxieties and problematic behaviors behind. Parents will see the child begin to really trust them and take chances he never thought he could. Parents will witness their child’s gradual and steady steps into a larger world. 

By

Using Key Words and Phrases to Teach New Behaviors to Kids on the Autism Spectrum

When using words and phrases to teach new behaviors to your child with High-Functioning Autism, it will be crucial to develop and write them down on a poster board or white board. 
 
These words and phrases will be used when introducing or generalizing new behaviors to your child. By making them visual, you guarantee both greater understanding and usage of them.

Strange phrases or catchy sayings are often attractive and easy to remember, but actually using the words and phrases - not simply writing them down – is what makes them effective. Also, they should be developed by you AND your youngster, which will increase the likelihood that they will be remembered.

The steps to creating a list of key words and phrases:
  1. Choose the area you want to work on with your youngster.
  2. Select (or have your youngster select) a word or phrase to be used as a quick reminder for appropriate responding. 
  3. Teach your child to use the key words and/or phrases as needed. With consistent use, they will convey the concept and what appropriate responding will look like. This will allow your youngster to generalize a skill more easily. When the phrase is used in a new situation, he or she will know what to do, because the phrase corresponds to the new behavior. 
  4. After one key word or phrase has been mastered, add others as needed.

 
Below is a sample list of words and phrases that other parents have found to be effective. It would be daunting to try and teach your child all of these. Thus, simply pick two or three to start with, and then branch out from there over the course of several weeks or months.
  • Use your words (i.e., controlling yourself by using words when you are upset or frustrated, rather than responding with a tantrum or meltdown)
  • This is a choice – or – This is not a choice
  • Thinking with your eyes (i.e., learning to use your eyes to communicate)
  • Thinking with your body (i.e., learning to use your body to communicate)
  • Another way (e.g., used to let the youngster know that you don't like the behavior or tone of voice he/she is using, for example, "Can you try another way of saying that?")
  • The rule (it’s helpful for the youngster to have appropriate responses described as “the rule”; it appeals to his/her sense of seeing the world in black and white; often simply stating that a desired response is "the rule" brings immediate compliance)
  • The preschool way, the elementary school way, etc.
  • That doesn't make sense (i.e., used when the youngster says something that is inappropriate, for example, fantasy talk, mislabeling another's or their own feelings, giving misinformation on a topic, etc.)
  • Tell me what you have to do (e.g., often used after giving directions)
  • Switching – or – substitutions (i.e., key words used to remind the youngster about being flexible)
  • Stretching the topic (i.e., attempting to go off topic by trying to make your new topic – usually a special interest – appear related to the original topic)
  • Stick up for yourself (i.e., refers to the type of response the youngster must make when being teased or taken advantage of by others)
  • Show me (i.e., add the phrase for what you want the youngster to do)
  • School sitting, school walking, etc. (i.e., refers to a specific manner of doing something that has been demonstrated to the youngster previously)
  • Say one thing (i.e., when answering questions or discussing a topic with too much detail – this skill should be practiced)
  • Salvage the rest of the day (i.e., refers to not allowing a problem to ruin the rest of the day)
  • Respond Quickly and Quietly (referred to as Q and Q)
  • Problems and Solutions (i.e., refers to a technique used to either prevent a tantrum or assist the youngster in regaining control during a tantrum; referred to as P and S)
  • Personal space (i.e., not touching others when it is not appropriate)
  • Off the topic (i.e., said to the youngster when his or her response is not on the topic being discussed)
  • MYOB ("mind your own business")
  • Lower – or – raise your volume (i.e., to help the youngster to modulate voice volume; often paired with a hand signal)
  • Look and Listen (referred to as L and L)
  • KISS ("keep it small and simple")
  • Keep your problems small (i.e., used when the youngster's behaviors are just beginning to escalate in a negative way; serves as a reminder to maintain control)
  • Just do it (i.e., refers to times when the youngster must quickly respond in a particular way without question)
  • In your head (i.e., refers to statements that should not be said aloud, usually statements about a person's physical appearance or statements that would hurt another's feelings)
  • Good choice – or – bad choice 
  • Get your control (i.e., key phrase used during a crisis)
  • Eyes up here (i.e., key phrase to help with attending and focusing)
  • Drop the subject (i.e., refers to talking on and on)
  • Don't get stuck (i.e., refers to not allowing a problem to control you or stop you from moving on; this skill is taught)
  • Don't be a "me first" (i.e., used with those kids who have an obsession about always being first in line, when playing a game, being called on, etc.)
  • Dealing with disappointments (i.e., refers to what to do when something doesn't go the way we thought it would)
  • Conversations go back and forth (i.e., used as a reminder when learning how to converse with others)
  • Bumping (i.e., refers to interrupting others when they are speaking)
  • Being okay (i.e., getting yourself together to handle a situation)
  • Being flexible (i.e., used when the child is upset with a routine change)

What moms and dads say is important, but “how” they say it can make the difference between compliance and noncompliance in their child on the autism spectrum. Sometimes a quiet, calm voice is needed. At other times, a firmer tone may be called for.

When you change the tone of your voice, point it out to your youngster. Kids on the spectrum don’t usually use varied tones of voice to convey different meanings. By pointing this out, you communicate your meaning, and you increase your child’s awareness of the importance of paying attention to vocal tone.

Also, this should be done with facial expressions and body language – two other things kids on the spectrum don't use when communicating to - or processing communication from - others. Vary your facial expressions and body language, and explain/show how it helps people to understand what others are saying.

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...
 
 
 
By

How to Prevent Discipline-Related Meltdowns: Tips for Parents of Kids on the Spectrum

“Are there some ways to prevent some of the discipline-related problems encountered with children who have high functioning autism, specifically meltdowns associated with receiving a consequence for misbehavior? I say ‘prevent’ because it seems that once my son knows he is going to be punished, it quickly escalates into meltdown, which by then is much too late to intervene. Is there a way for us to ‘predict’ and thus prevent a potential meltdown?”

Most parents of kids with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's wait until a problem occurs, and then try to deal with it by issuing a consequence. Consequences can be positive (gaining something desirable) or negative (losing something desirable).

Sometimes, consequences are discussed prior to an event, but usually in terms of a motivator: "If you do this, you will gain (or lose) that." Too often, parents use consequences in the middle of a behavior problem (e.g., "If you don't stop that, you’re not going to play your computer game tonight!”). 
 

Statements such as this are made when the behavior is out-of-control. The parent may have given many warnings up to that point - and is now acting out of frustration. But, warnings issued in the heat of the moment rarely lead to positive change in the short or long term.

With children on the autism spectrum, it’s far better to anticipate the occurrence of a behavior - and then plan for it. How? Well, many behavior problems are repetitious, especially in the same situation. Even when they don't occur EVERY time, they may still be frequent enough to make the parent’s “red alert list” (i.e., a list of events that result in problem behaviors that tend to occur frequently).

For example, one mother made note that nearly every time her son was instructed to bathe, he insisted on finishing his video game first (in order to stall). The mounting meltdown had little to do with the video game, rather it was related to avoiding an unwanted task.

A good rule of thumb is if a behavior repeats itself at least 50% of the time, moms and dads need to prepare for it. So, if homework, dinnertime or bedtime have been frequent problems in the past, chances are very good they will continue to be so in the future.

With a “red alert list,” parents can predict the future to a point. They gain the opportunity to forecast what is going to happen in an upcoming situation because of its constant re-occurrence. When parents have a good idea about what is going to happen, they can prepare their youngster for the event prior to its occurrence by discussing what usually occurs and what needs to occur. 
 
==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with HFA and Asperger's

For example, let’s say that “going shopping” is often a problem-time. In this case, the parent can talk with her youngster (prior to the event) about what normally happens, how he acts, how she is going to respond, and how he is going change his behavior based on her response. Then the parent can follow that up with a discussion to see if she can get a firm commitment from her youngster that he is going to follow through with these new behaviors. 

If the child responds in a positive way, the parent has an increased likelihood that things will go better when they go shopping – especially if this preparation step is practiced over and over again through the course of several weeks or months.

If parents happen to miss the opportunity to prevent a problem, there is often a small "window of opportunity" in which they can still salvage the situation. In the example above, suppose the parent forgot to say something prior to going shopping. As the child’s behavior begins to deteriorate, the parent has a very brief period of time (only a minute or two) before she will be in a tricky situation. The parent should seize this opportunity, because it may be the last best one in that specific time and place.

In summary, create a list of events that - at least half the time - result in your child acting-out. Prior to each event, discuss (a) what normally happens, and (b) what you expect the new outcome to be. Then try to get your child's approval on the new outcome. Lastly, practice this sequence until it becomes a habit.


 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...
By

Informal Quiz for Parents: Does My Child Have High-Functioning Autism?

“We suspect that our 6 y.o. son has autism (the high functioning end of the spectrum). I know you can’t diagnose a child with an autism spectrum disorder via the internet, but is there an informal quiz or test that will give us a hint as to whether or not we should pursue a formal assessment? And where do we go to have him checked?”

Of course, parents will only know for sure if their child has High-Functioning Autism (HFA) by getting a professional diagnosis. Having said that, if you answer “no” to most of the questions below (1 - 21), seeking a formal assessment would be warranted:
  1. Are people important to your child? 
  2. Can your child easily dress him/herself?
  3. Can your child easily tie his/her shoes?
  4. Can your child keep a two-way conversation going?
  5. Can he/she ride a bicycle (even with stabilizers)?
  6. Does your child care about how he/she is perceived by the rest of the group?
  7. Does your child enjoy joking around?
  8. Does he/she enjoy sports?
  9. Does your child find it easy to interact with other children?
  10. Does your child have friends, rather than just acquaintances?
  11. Does he/she join in playing games with others easily?
  12. Does your child make normal eye-contact?
  13. Does your child mostly have the same interests as his/her peers?
  14. Does he/she often come up to you spontaneously for a chat?
  15. Does he/she play imaginatively with other children, and engage in role-play?
  16. Does your child prefer imaginative activities such as play-acting or story-telling, rather than numbers or a list of facts?
  17. Is it important for him/her to fit in with a peer group?
  18. Is your child good at turn-taking in conversation?
  19. Is your child’s reading comprehension appropriate for his/her age?
  20. Was your child speaking by 2 years old?
  21. When your child was about 3 years old, did he/she spend a lot of time pretending (e.g., play-acting being a super-hero, or holding teddy's tea parties?
 __________

If you answer “yes” to most of these questions (1 – 17), seeking a formal assessment is also warranted:
  1. Does your child appear to notice unusual details that others miss?
  2. Does your child try to impose routines on him/herself, or on others, in such a way that causes problems?
  3. Does your child do or say things that are tactless or socially inappropriate?
  4. Does he/she have an interest that takes up so much time that he/she does little else?
  5. Does your child have an unusual memory for details?
  6. Does your child have any unusual and repetitive movements?
  7. Does he/she have difficulty understanding the rules for polite behavior?
  8. Does your child have odd or unusual phrases?
  9. Does your child like to do the same things over and over again, in the same way all the time?
  10. Does your child often turn conversations to his/her favorite subject rather than following what the other person wants to talk about?
  11. Does he/she sometimes lose the listener because the listener gets bored with what your child is talking about?
  12. Does your child sometimes say "you" or "your child" when he/she means to say "I"?
  13. Does your child tend to take things literally?
  14. Has your child ever been diagnosed with a language delay, ADHD, hearing or visual difficulties, or a physical disability?
  15. Have teachers ever expressed any concerns about his/her development?
  16. Is his/her voice unusual (e.g., overly adult, flat, or very monotonous)
  17. Is your child’s social behavior very one-sided and always on his or her terms?

High-Functioning Autism can be hard to diagnose. There are a number of reasons for this: 
  • Kids with HFA are, by definition, of average or above average intelligence.
  • The “high-functioning” child may develop a means to hide, manage, or overcome the symptoms associated with the disorder.
  • He or she may do well in school, communicate effectively, and pass an IQ test with flying colors.
  • The child’s language skills may mask certain symptoms.  
  • Due to the fact that HFA carries with it a lot of strengths, the child’s strong points may carry him or her through early elementary school with only minor behavioral and/or social issues.
  • When told often enough to “make eye contact” or “stop talking about the same things over and over again,” kids on the spectrum are often able to either hide, control, or even overcome the need to present obvious symptoms.  When this occurs, the overt signs of HFA are not present, making a diagnosis difficult.
  • With girls on the autism spectrum, certain behaviors associated with the disorder may simply be considered "feminine" rather than problematic (e.g., shyness, discomfort with public speaking, difficulties with motor coordination, confusion over social communication in situations such as team sports, etc.). Also, girls with HFA behave differently than boys with HFA (e.g., they tend to be less aggressive, more imitative, and more likely to work hard to "fit in").

Your child’s doctor can make a referral to a professional who specializes in autism spectrum disorders. This is the individual who can cut through the haze and come up with a proper course of action.


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...
By

Meltdowns and Punishment: Tips for Parents of Kids on the Autism Spectrum

"I know parents shouldn't punish a child for having a meltdown, but how do I know when it's a meltdown versus flat out bad attitude?"

One of the most important things for parents to realize is that a meltdown is a trait of High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger's. Because meltdowns can often look like tantrums, it's sometimes difficult to know what course of action to take.

To make matters worse, a particular behavior may be meltdown-related on one occasion, but a simple tantrum on another occasion (e.g., the child may have a tantrum over a certain food item because it tastes "yucky," yet he or she acts-out in the same way over another food item due to a gustatory (i.e., taste) sensitivity.

Children on the autism spectrum can avoid tantrums - but not meltdowns. The best parents can do is try to reduce the damage. Punishing a child for a meltdown is like punishing someone for swearing when they hit their thumb with a hammer. It won't do any good whatsoever and can only serve to increase the distance between you and your child. 
 

In addition, meltdowns aren't wholly caused by the current scenario, but are usually the result of an overwhelming number of other issues. The one that "causes" the meltdown is the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Unless you're a mind reader, you won't necessarily know what the other factors are, and your child may not be able to fully communicate the problem.

A meltdown is a condition where the HFA or Asperger's child temporarily loses control due to emotional responses to environmental factors (e.g., sensory sensitivities, anxiety, social frustration, etc.). It generally appears that the child has lost control over a single and specific issue; however, this is very rarely the case. Usually, the problem is an accumulation of a number of irritations which could span a fairly long period of time, particularly given the strong long-term memory that kids on the autism spectrum are known to have.

In addition, the problems may seem hidden due to the following:
  • Kids on the autism spectrum don't tend to give a lot of clues that they are irritated.
  • Often times, the child's grievances are aired as part of his or her normal conversation and may be interpreted by parents as part of his or her standard whining.
  • Some things that annoy HFA and Asperger's kids would not be considered annoying to other kids, which makes parents less likely to pick up on a potential problem.
  • Their facial expressions very often will not convey frustration.
  • Their vocal tones will often remain flat - even when they are highly agitated.

 
Some children on the spectrum describe the meltdown as a red or grey band across the eyes. There is a loss of control and a feeling of being a powerless observer outside the body. This can be dangerous as the child may strike out, particularly if the instigator is nearby or if the HFA child is taunted during a meltdown.

Sometimes, depression is the only outward visible sign of a meltdown. At other times, depression results when the child leaves his or her meltdown-state and confronts the results of the meltdown. The depression is a result of guilt over abusive or violent behavior, which may result in a shutdown (e.g., the child curls up into a fetal position and hides from the world).

Sometimes, the best thing that parents can do is to train themselves to recognize the triggers to a meltdown before the meltdown happens - and take steps to avoid it. Once the child reaches an age where he or she can understand "meltdown triggers," parents can work on explaining the situation.

One way to do this is to discreetly videotape a meltdown and allow the child to watch it after he or she has calmed down (kids on the spectrum are very visual and learn best from images and videos). You could then discuss the incident, explain why it isn't socially acceptable, and give the child some alternatives.

More resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
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