My children (3 teens---2 still at home--plus a 3-yr-old) all have ASD (level 1). They have the disability as well as dealing with others (including one parent) who also have ASD. As a result, people are oversensitive to sensory input and comments and, of course, go from 0 to 100 in seconds. I have a great deal of difficulty heading off the mood escalations and defusing the situation once it has started. I need any suggestions for quicker resolution, etc. that will help us function more effectively.
Answer
Children with sensory issues can be taught to understand how they are “wired” and adjust to the blended flood of incoming sensory messages that is their norm. Learning to understand their triggers will help them cope. For some, the labels on their shirts or itchy socks may overwhelm their senses and shut down their ability to listen to parents. Becoming aware of the irritation will enable them to remove the cause, and then better process auditory messages.
Providing a less stimulating environment is the key to helping these children. Many ASD (high-functioning autistic) children outgrow their sensory-overload issues. By adolescence, many of the symptoms are better managed as the child learns coping skills. Helping the child identify his overwhelming sensations and providing quiet spaces can speed the process of understanding his own triggers and enable him to be more functional and better adjusted.
Sensory overload is when autistic youngsters are faced with so much sensory stimuli that they can't process it all, and they then find a way of dealing with that situation that - to them - seems out of control.
For example, if you have your child at the mall and people are coming up to tell you how cute he is and there is background music playing, then you may have a youngster that begins to throw a tantrum – and to you it may seem like there was absolutely no reason for it. But for a child on the spectrum, such a situation is more than he can take. It is too much information for him to try to process, and he breaks down.
As ASD kids with sensory issues get older, they will outgrow some of these problems on their own. Other kids will require the help of Occupational Therapists, and still others will have sensory problems with them for a life time.
The cause of Sensory Integration Dysfunction (the formal term for sensory problems) is not yet known. Kids who have other disabilities - and kids who were born extremely premature - are more likely to have Sensory Integration Dysfunction, but it is also known to be a condition that some otherwise healthy kids have.
Because of the mystery that surrounds this condition (and the limited information), most people aren't accepting or understanding of children who have this problem. Therefore, if you find that your youngster has this condition, you should find a great therapist and have them give you information to share with your youngster's school and other family members so that they are better prepared to help him or her.
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
"Is it common for children with ASD to have a great deal of difficulty relating to their peers in a proper manner? My son tends to burn bridges (so to speak) rather quickly with his friends."
ASD level 1 (high-functioning autism) often leads to problems in social interaction with peers. These problems can be severe or mild depending on the individual. Kids with ASD are often the target of bullying at school due to their idiosyncratic behavior, precise language, unusual interests, and impaired ability to perceive and respond in socially expected ways to nonverbal cues, particularly in interpersonal conflict.
Kids on the autism spectrum may be overly literal, and may have difficulty interpreting and responding to sarcasm, banter, or metaphorical speech. Difficulties with social interaction may also be manifest in a lack of play with other kids.
The above problems can even arise in the family. Given an unfavorable family environment, the youngster may be subject to emotional abuse. A youngster or teen with ASD is often puzzled by this mistreatment, unaware of what has been done incorrectly. Most kids on the spectrum want to be social, but fail to socialize successfully, which can lead to later withdrawal and asocial behavior, especially in adolescence.
At this stage of life especially, they risk being drawn into unsuitable and inappropriate friendships and social groups. People with ASD often interact better with those considerably older or younger than themselves, rather than those within their own age group.
Young people with ASD often display advanced abilities for their age in language, reading, mathematics, spatial skills, and/or music—sometimes into the "gifted" range—but this may be counterbalanced by considerable delays in other developmental areas. This combination of traits can lead to problems with teachers and other authority figures. A youngster with ASD might be regarded by teachers as a "problem kid" or a "poor performer."
The youngster’s extremely low tolerance for what they perceive to be ordinary and mediocre tasks, such as typical homework assignments, can easily become frustrating; a teacher may well consider the youngster arrogant, spiteful, and insubordinate. Lack of support and understanding, in combination with the youngster's anxieties, can result in problematic behavior (such as severe tantrums, violent and angry outbursts, and withdrawal).
Two traits sometimes found in individuals on the spectrum are mind-blindness (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and alexithymia (i.e, the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in oneself or others), which reduce the ability to be empathetically attuned to others. Alexithymia in ASD functions as an independent variable relying on different neural networks than those implicated in theory of mind. In fact, lack of Theory of Mind may be a result of a lack of information available to the mind due to the operation of the alexithymic deficit.
A second issue related to alexithymia involves the inability to identify and modulate strong emotions such as sadness or anger, which leaves the individual prone to “sudden affective outbursts such as crying or rage.” The inability to express feelings using words may also predispose the individual to use physical acts to articulate the mood and release the emotional energy.
People with ASD report a feeling of being unwillingly detached from the world around them. They may have difficulty finding a life partner or getting married due to poor social skills. The intense focus and tendency to work things out logically often grants people with ASD a high level of ability in their field of interest. When these special interests coincide with a materially or socially useful task, the person on the spectrum can lead a profitable career and a fulfilled life. The youngster obsessed with a specific area may succeed in employment related to that area.
It affects individuals all of their lives, but as individuals get older they get better at social and coping skills.
Many great scientists, writers and artists are thought to have had Aspergers, including many Nobel Prize winners.
Individuals with ASD can do well when others understand the effects of the syndrome on their behavior and learning, and provide a supportive environment.
They find it hard to relate to other individuals.
Some individuals who are said to be eccentric loners may have ASD.
The effects of autism can vary from slightly unusual behavior to quite aggressive and anti-social behavior.
They have trouble understanding the feelings of other individuals and they do not seem able to read body language. For example, a person with ASD may not realize when they have hurt someone's feelings, or when someone doesn't want to listen to them.
They like everything to be the same, and everything to be in the right place. They can get very upset if something is done 'the wrong way'.
They may talk a lot about their own interests, but have problems getting the message across or giving others the chance to talk.
Secondary School—
It can seem as though they are really bright because they know a huge amount about something they are interested in, but they might have trouble keeping up with other subjects.
Other students get better at interpersonal relationships as they grow older, but it can become more difficult for a student with ASD to be involved in friendship groups. However, they may enjoy groups which follow their special interest (e.g., science clubs).
Secondary school can be very stressful for students with ASD because they have a different timetable each day, several different teachers, and have to move between classrooms. These changes can be really stressful for someone who likes everything to be the same.
Teenagers with ASD are usually able to manage stressors better than younger kids, and behavior problems at school may be less of an issue at secondary school. However a teenager on the spectrum may be so worn out after 'holding it together' all day at school that he or she may 'fall apart' at home.
It may be possible to negotiate with teachers to reduce the amount of homework or extend tasks over a longer time.
Feeling tired after school is often a problem, and facing up to homework at the end of the day can be very stressful for someone who has already had a stressful day.
A school counselor can help to work out strategies for dealing with problems, which might include a place to work alone if things get too hard sometimes.
If partners and kids are able to learn more about ASD, they are often more able to understand the behavior and live more comfortably with the person who has autism.
Individuals with ASD also need to understand relationships better and learn more about how their behavior and emotions can affect others.
Most individuals on the spectrum can form strong bonds with a few friends, marry and have kids.
Peer support groups can also be helpful for partners and kids. Check on the internet to see if there are support groups in your area.
Their anxieties and difficulties with the subtleties of relationships can be confusing and upsetting to partners and their kids.
Problems for Brothers and Sisters—
It can be difficult if you have a brother or sister with ASD.
Parents often have to spend a lot more time with the youngster who has autism, so that you can feel you are missing out.
Their behavior can be difficult to live with because they don't relate to others well.
They may have frequent tantrums when things don't go their way, and this can be embarrassing to you, especially if your friends are around.
You may have to watch out more for your brother or sister to protect them from others, such as protecting them from being bullied.
Understanding more about Autism Spectrum Disorder may help you interact more successfully with your brother or sister.
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
"My soon to be 12 year old has ADHD. But now we are suspecting ASD level 1. We wonder if it could be one or the other - or both. Is this possible? How can we tell the difference? He and I butt heads because he will not stay on task for chores unless I stand over him, and even then can't seem to get it together. He gets angry if asked/told he needs to do chores. And no, none of them are that hard, and he will admit that after a long painful, drawn out affair."
Answer
Clear cut boundaries exist between ADHD and ASD level 1 (High-Functioning Autism), though the two are sometimes linked. Some members of the medical establishment see them as existing simultaneously in one person, whereas others say that is impossible. The truth is that there is no agreement on the two issues.
It's true that ASD and ADHD share certain commonalities, but the causal factors are far different. For example, individuals with each may talk too loudly or too much, neither can regulate behavior, and both can be social misfits. But, the "why" behind those issues is where the dissimilarities come in.
Individuals with ADHD know what they need to do and just forget to do it, but individuals with ASD don't know what to do. They have no idea that personal relationships are two-sided, because they see the world as existing for - and about - them. But there are other issues aside from the social where the two disorders seemingly coincide, but are driven by dissimilar mental processes.
Though individuals with ASD can appear to be disorganized and forgetful, it's because they concentrate on everything around them. No aspect of their environment is more important than another.
So, whereas individuals with ADHD may be distracted by a fly on the wall in the classroom, someone with ASD may feel that the fly is as important to study as what the teacher is saying. They tend to focus on insignificant issues, without meaning, and they don't understand rules. ADHD individuals understand them – they just have no mechanism for following them to the letter.
ASD can take different forms, as well. Some children live in a fantasy world of their own making. In that world, everything goes just the way they want it to all the time. There's nothing wrong with being a character in a book, for instance, and dressing in costume all the time.
Obsessive-compulsive ASD individuals make a world of rules and rituals for themselves, and follow each of those to the letter. They may appear to be distracted like individuals with ADD, but they're actually obsessing (e.g., on how many times they turned the faucet on and off or how many minutes they brushed their teeth).
These similarities make it hard for doctors to properly diagnose ASD early in a youngster's life, and they may be misdiagnosed with ADHD. It's not until the youngster reaches school age that they show the symptoms of social inadequacy.
ASD sufferers have no idea that other individuals have thoughts, feelings, and motivations unlike their own. This isn't true of individuals with ADD, who know they shouldn't speak out of turn, but just can't help it.
Finding proper help for an ASD youngster is very important. Diagnosis, though, may take years of trial and error, which makes starting treatment early very important. With the proper help, kids with ASD can live a much fuller life than without it.
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning.
Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him,
rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression.
As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and
depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.
Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown
temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from
ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child
is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are
totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the
least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into
the next - the meltdown can return in full force.
Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the
autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a
teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an
average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for
even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’
disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.
Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and
he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse
strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face
many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for
teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one
mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do." Click here to read the full article…
Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are
“mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and
intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to
identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits
reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he
or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish,
insensitive and uncaring. Click here to read the full article...
Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her
“out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress,
anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have
difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults
may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display
symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.
• Anonymous said… All of mine, bar the toddler (too young to tell) have diagnosis of both. • Anonymous said… I know that ADHD can often be a differential diagnosis with ASD, or a concurrent one with ASD • Anonymous said… Kids with ADHD and ASD suffer from executive functioning issues. Being told to clean up is so overwhelming that they just do not know or understand where to start. They don't think, okay I will just start over in this corner, they think where do i start, I can't do this and consequently then don't do it. You have to show them specifically the tasks and break them into smaller parts. Getting angry is natural because the task evokes a feeling of frustration and fear. My son has aspergers and ADHD, yes they are comorbid and are diagnosed together and yes, life is very difficult with such a child. But with your help and guidance, they will be able to succeed. • Anonymous said… Mine is both ADHD and ASD. What you describe sounds more of an ASD behaviour. • Anonymous said… My 21yr old son is ASD, SPD, diagnosed two yrs ago, I've been at him to clean up his room (sanctuary away from overwhelming people and other stuff), for years now. There have been times where I've gone in there and cleaned out where he won't look/think to look...and I've gotten away with it. Lol but this week..he wanted new speakers to play his music.....so I took him to get them...then he wanted tubs to put stuff in and store....but I had no idea, the extent that he would go to later on. He gutted his room, vacuumed it, removed furniture, rearranged his room and now it's less cluttered. I knew the cleaning day would come...but this was monumental. He said he didn't realise how much stuff was in his room till he started moving things out. He's proud of himself...I am too...but the dishes I asked him to put away two days ago are still in the dish rack and the bin is still out the front waiting to be brought in. Executive disfunction...yep! • Anonymous said… My son has aspergers and ADHD. He struggles to concentrate and constant fidgetting and moving ( he bounces) • Anonymous said… Our son is also ADHD and on the Spectrum. We deal daily with him being overwhelmed and angry... always trying to help him to stay on task. I feel like I could be a terrorist negotiator as my son will try to keep us hostage with his behavior. Oh yes, I've negotiated through the biggest toughest meltdowns you've ever seen and have won my son's heart...because I keep our expectations high for him. Always helping him stive to accomplish the hard stuff and rewarding when and where we can. There are good days and very hard days with our Aspie...but that's what you do as a parent. Many of us here know that it's not easy parenting children with ADHD/ASD, but just know you can do it! My biggest hurdle has been asking for help...but have found it necessary in order to survive. I don't know why I am saying all of this...but I feel there are parents going through some hard times right now and you feel like giving up, but be encouraged. God chose you for this special assignment and he's equipped you with everything you need; emotionally, financially, and spiritually. You can do this! May God's peace be with you.
* Anonymous said... I've got one (maybe two) of the Kids with both ADHD and Apserger's. It is tough to make the call between willfulness, distractability and insufficient knowledge and practice to do the chores correctly. I have started making very specific lists of the steps or mini-tasks needed to complete each household chore on their lists. This gives each a concrete, written set of instructions so that each can double check their own work. When a kid tells me that the task is complete I ask them to check the list. Often I will hear "Oops forgot that one." from the other room and then whichever one is doing the chore will then complete the task without my direct help. I wish I could say that I thought of this years ago but I only came up with these lists as my older one is getting ready to graduate from high school. He is going to need some way to help him remember all of the myriad of household tasks if he is to eventually live on his own. I looked all over for detailed checklists for household chores and didn't find much so I started making my own. They need to be very specific and written very clearly to be used independently. Good luck.
