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Music Therapy for Kids on the Autism Spectrum: A Good Idea?

"My 8-year-old son with high functioning autism loves to sing and wants to join the boys choir at his school. Would this be a good idea? From past experience, he seems to do poorly in group participation activities."

I think this will be great therapy for your son!  In fact, music therapy is how I got started working with autistic children way back in the mid 1980's (before we even knew about Asperger's). Music therapy has been used in conjunction with other therapies for many disorders, including Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Plus, singing in a group will help with social skills.

As it turns out, music therapy is a great fit for ASD children because it's non-verbal (and non-threatening). It improves the youngster’s ability to be successful at things that are more social, such as tossing a ball to music or using sticks or cymbals to help the child modulate his or her interpretation of sound. Also, therapists can use the child’s preferred music as a reward or as a way to soothe him or her.

Music therapy helps kids with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's to speak better as well. They tend to be able to learn words and to hold onto those words longer when music is associated with the learning of the words. 
 
Also, when taught to both autistic children and non-autistic (i.e., neurotypical) children at the same time, music therapy is a great way to integrate ASD children into the social aspect of being around other kids. Few adjustments need to be made to the music class, and the autistic kids can mimic the behavior of neurotypical ones.

Interestingly, in many situations, it’s been found that young people on the spectrum can exhibit great musical ability. Some have perfect pitch while others learn to play musical instruments and can be competitive with other children in their musical abilities. 
 
This is probably one of the best reasons that moms and dads should have their ASD child in music class. They may have abilities beyond that which a parent can know that can improve the youngster’s self-esteem greatly.

In addition, some children with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's are fairly quiet, non-talkative individuals - but can communicate very well through their singing voice. This can be a great help to the child who needs to communicate somehow with parents and teachers. Kids on the autism spectrum can learn meaningful responses when incorporated into a song.

Music therapy is one of the most advantageous types of therapy a child on the spectrum can have. From improved communication to improved socialization, many aspects of the child’s life can be maximized.

For help with social skills development that will assist your son in group situations, click on this link: Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management
 

PARENTS' COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said... Encourage anything he's interested in! Music was my lifeline when I was diagnosed. Because I loved it, it didn't matter if it was a group thing or if it was one on one. It was my coping strategy. If it helps with group settings with your son, even better!

•    Anonymous said... Go for it, he can always stop if he does not enjoy it. I think it's great he is showing an interest and as he is the one suggesting it there is more chance of it being a success! I tend to follow my son's lead in choosing after school activities and so far it's worked well. Granted some of his choices would not be my first option lol I hope he has an awesome time.

•    Anonymous said... i have a family member with a/s who sings in a choir,they have even traveled abroad ,she adores it.

•    Anonymous said... Let him, my youngest can't handle group activities and he joined the Kupa Huka group at school as loves performing and he loved it, and did well at it must admit also improved his co-ordination and confidence.

•    Anonymous said... let them try new experiences don't hold them back just in case give them tools and permission to go to a neutral zone if anxious and make sure all adults are aware jp has been doing the science fair where it is quite loud and busy and he has really surprised me. I am so proud of him.

•    Anonymous said... My Aspie son LOVES music and singing and really enjoys the choir. Although it's a group thing, he doesn't have to interact with them as such, just sing along with them

•    Anonymous said... My Aspie son loves music... has played violin for years, didn't do so well Suzuki style but did fine with group Orchestra. Did choir last year, the only boy in a dozen... did great! Granted, part of this was because he didn't have to deal with the other boys in his class, who can be a bit pushy!

•    Anonymous said... My son started choir around that age and flourished. Made friends in the choir room at school. When he gets stressed he goes there to de-stress. At 15 he still loves choir and wants to continue with music. I highly encourage it.

•    Anonymous said... Yes! Its an excellent idea, especially if he has a good voice and loves music! My son loves music and he plays the cello. He likes most string instruments and loves to sing! Music has made a huge difference in his mood and life! I recommend highly!!

•    Anonymous said… Follow whatever they are passionate about... that has been our experience with LB and it seems to work out. Good luck!

•    Anonymous said… Go for it! Just make sure you have good communication with the chorus teacher. My Aspie struggled with some of the social aspects and her perfectionism was a challenge, too. Thankfully, with understanding teachers it continues to be a worthwhile endeavor. My daughter has learned she has a knack for band, chorus and acting as well.

•    Anonymous said… My son was part of the Chorus from staten island that sang at the 2011 academy awards and he's an aspie! I also had my doubts but let him be and try and he did fantastic! He became desensitized to noise and overstimulation and being part of something so special helped his self esteem! He also started giving better eye contact and his grades improved. My advice is let him try he might surprise you like my son did.

•    Anonymous said… The nice thing about choir is it is a social activity with a high degree of structure. I am not a music therapist, but am a music teacher. It has been my experience that children may do very poorly in many group and social settings, yet have a high degree of success in choir if they enjoy singing. I have seen this success pleasantly surprise both the child and the child's peers. It can be a very good thing, or it might not work out, but you won't ever know if you don't let him try.

•    Anonymous said… YES!!!! Our kids tend to be gifted with perfect pitch and often find their tribe in music! My son loves band! what with all the sensory issue possibilities and the sheer size of the band I had my doubts - now after junior high and HS I am so grateful! he will be marching with his favorite college band this Fall and he got a music scholarship! Do it!!!! if he's asking - so much the better!

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The Best Methods for Teaching Students on the Autism Spectrum

"I'm a 4th grade teacher in the Dallas area, and I have two students on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum in my class this school year. What are some of the most important considerations when teaching children with this condition? Thanks in advance!"

The short answer: I would say the use of visual aids and social stories - and go the extra mile to make learning fun.

Children with ASD level 1 or High-Functioning Autism can learn and excel, and if certain teaching methods are used, their progress can be nothing short of fantastic. One of the most important things to realize in making learning fun for these special needs kids is the fact that they learn in different ways than children without this disorder.

Kids on the autism spectrum generally have difficulty with social skills. Sometimes this difficulty involves language skills. However, there are a number of ways to make learning these important skills more than just a chore. By injecting fun into learning, it has been shown that children on the spectrum learn at a faster pace. Of course, fun and learning work well for all types of children, but autistic children are special and require more tailored methods.

Children on the spectrum seem to learn best when the instructional material is presented in visual form. In this case, it might be worthwhile to try different educational programs on the computer. Using a computer is a fun way to learn for these students. 
 
The majority of educational programs are highly visual. Many of the games available involve story lines, plots, and realistic human behaviors. Some of the skills these young people can learn from carefully selected video games are language skills, reading and math skills, and social skills.

Visual learning devices are highly effective and can be accompanied by various rewards to reinforce what is being learned. For instance, food and extended leisure activities can be used as rewards that will encourage the child to want to learn. In addition, the use of positive reinforcement will help develop a bond between student and teacher, and create a sense of trust that will help strengthen the learning environment.


Social stories are another way to make learning fun for these children. Since one of the aspects of ASD is the inability to interact normally in a social situation, social stories can be utilized in a variety of different ways in order to model appropriate behavior. By using engaging stories, children can learn appropriate and inappropriate responses to situations. The level of fun, of course, is up to the way social stories are used.

Usually, the stories are specifically tailored to the individual child. By modeling situations familiar to the child, he/she can be better prepared to react in a socially appropriate way to those same situations in the future.

Social stories usually have three distinct ways of addressing a particular situation:
  1. The first describes who, what, where and why in relation to the situation.
  2. The second is a perspective sentence that illuminates how others react to the situation being discussed.
  3. Finally, the third sentence tries to model an appropriate response.

Sometimes the use of social stories can be accompanied by music and pictures. In terms of making the process a bit more fun, rewards can be used when a situation is properly addressed.

Children on the spectrum require special education needs to address their social difficulties. It is really important to make these activities as much fun as possible so the student will stay motivated. It is not easy for this child to change his/her response to various situations, so it is imperative that the activities be non-threatening and highly interesting.

It has been demonstrated that, over time, the use of visual aids and social stories are two of the most effective ways to help these students overcome social situations they feel are threatening. To most of us, these situations are normal, everyday occurrences. 
 
But to children on the spectrum, they can sometimes be terrifying moments that they do not have the skills to deal with. These teaching methods, while entertaining and fun, can help these children adapt and manage their perceptions of social interactions.


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD

 
Parents' COMMENTS:

* Anonymous said... My son has Aspergers and was in public school until the middle of fourth grade. It's so wonderful that you're asking this question! Aspie kids can be a huge challenge, but their insights are amazing and their minds are wired so differently that sometimes all I can think is "wow" because he's so bright and quirky. I think you'll enjoy the child. A few things that we wish his teacher understood:

1. Aspie kids tend to "misunderstand" people's intentions regularly, and can react with a "fight or flight" response. For instance, a child who accidentally bumps them will get bumped or pushed back as if it was intentional. Gestures that may be innocent can be interpreted wrongly because they don't understand them. Be patient, and never assume that a child's response is bullying or unkindness...it may just be that they don't "get it." Aspies can also be "rule oriented", meaning that they get very concerned when others don't follow the rules and may take matters into their own hands. Other possible traits: the need to be "first", black and white thinking, and need for routine.

2. Some Aspie kids don't work well in groups. They have a need to control, and don't see others' opinions as worthwhile because they are "mind-blind" (I think that's the word). Find children that they work best with, and always have one eye on their interactions with others in case things don't go well.

3. All kids with autism have some kind of coping mechanism that they use when under stress. (Things like fire drills, substitute teachers, PE or special school days which are out of the ordinary can trigger tough days.) Understand what this child's mechanisms are. My son used to pull his hood or shirt over his face, or hide in the dark cool bathroom. It was his way of shutting things out until he was back in control of his emotions. Allow the child the space and time he or she needs! Their coping mechanisms are very important for future success. (Or, help teach them coping mechanisms if they don't have any...my son's teacher would make sarcastic comments when he hid in the bathroom or punish him for pulling his shirt over his head, causing him to melt down).

4. Meltdowns are inevitable. Make sure there is a process in place among yourself and other administrators to deal with them: a safe place for the child to go, a plan for calming the child down, and help in case the child flees (which some do). Get the parents' input, and make sure the child understands what happens so they know what to expect (no surprises!).

Finally, most parents are willing to work with you to make sure that the child is well-taken care of and that you can manage your classroom. Get their input and understand if they are protective. Good luck!

•    Anonymous said... Ask his or her parents for their advice & tips on how to recognize stress triggers, and how best to help their child grow & succeed. Bear in mind that many Aspies struggle with social cues, and can be ostracized by their peers when they don't fit the mold. Thank you for your sensitivity, from an Aspie mom

•    Anonymous said... Don't negotiate with them… have rules already in place

•    Anonymous said... Find out what his likes are and what stresses him out ie loud sounds or music... reward him with his likes ie specific toys or books. Have a calm down area. For my son who is 7, his teachers have a pencil box filled with his 'goodies' stickers, dinosaur figures, etc. They reward him for staying on task or finishing a task. The Five Star system and token economy system works wonders. I hope you have great support from the parents, ESE, and therapists. You all are an important team. Communication is key within all team members.

•    Anonymous said... get to know what sets them off their little quirks their likes and dislikes lots of prewarning routine and consistency an ea a snoezelen room helps. Noise cancelling head phones if that is an issue. Have ot involved sometimes weight vests help. Listen to the parents

•    Anonymous said... Have patients, have patients, and don't be in a hurry with this child. At times it will be ruff, but know that your willingness to accept him for who he is and treat him as such will be the best advice I can give you. Do not let your frustrations get the best of you because this child is not doing everything like the others, but do have extra help within the room. I would contact your schools Autism Specialist (or county), they are the biggest helps for knowing how to teach a child with ASD.

•    Anonymous said... I am certain that the parents will be thrilled if you offer to spend an hour or two, maybe three times this summer, to meet the child at his/her home. Let the child show you what is important to him, let him get to know you on his turf. Watch how the parents interact, when they speak, how they let him process, etc. He will be so much more at ease when school starts...and so will you.

•    Anonymous said... I must say, on behalf of all parents, THANK YOU for taking the time to care enough to ask that question

•    Anonymous said... I, like many parents who have written, are so thankful that you are taking the time to ask, to care, to learn about our special kids. By even asking the question you've already helped the student.

•    Anonymous said... It makes me realy happy to hear a teacher asking this question, it's a pity more do'nt. Thankyou so much . From an Aspie parent. x

•    Anonymous said... My child's teachers have read a boo called "Aspergers's & the ELementary Experience." They have commented that they found it helpful.

•    Anonymous said... My sons teacher had him go into the classroom a few times before school started, and contacted his therapist and case manager to see what things help/irritate him. I want to thank you for taking the time out to look into this!

•    Anonymous said... My sons teacher would allow him to stand up if he needed to as we'll as take his shoes off (he has sensory issues and this helped him concentrate). My son has some terets tics and she would explain to the other kids that everyone is different and that's alright when kids started staring. She kept in close contact with myself and my husband. My son couldn't go to recess because it was not pleasant for him so he would stay inside and work with a counseling on the computer or just play UNO with her. Please please send notes home prior to any drills you may have (fire, tornadoes, intruder, etc). It will allow the parents to prepare him for the drills so there is less of a chance he will get scared when it happens. Most importantly just be very attentive to the student and always be patient. Thank you for askin because I wish my sons teachers had bothered to ask prior to him getting into 3rd grade.

•    Anonymous said... patience and love

•    Anonymous said... Patience and thinking outside the box. Sometimes the simplest solutions go the furthest distance. Ie my son couldn't remember his spelling list and homework sheet. He had a long term sub who gave me the sheets for the rest of the year. He was still to try to remember, but if he didn't, I had it and we weren't texting around asking for spelling lists. Another example: my son prefers nonfiction. He was allowed to check out a fiction and nonfiction book to test on. Simple, but meaningful solutions. I would also ask the child about where he prefers to sit. My son likes to sit facing the wall to illuminate distractions. There are lots of books about teaching special needs kids in the mainstream classroom...

•    Anonymous said... Thank you to this teacher!!!

•    Anonymous said... treat the child like a person and nurture him, accept him and encourage him..my aspergers child is graduated and starting college in fall..if only everyone had his best interest in mind like i did it would have been lots easier..don't give up on the child..

•    Anonymous said... what an awesome teacher you are! just for asking.

•    Anonymous said... You can start out on the right foot by changing your mind set for the positive. Asperger's is not a disorder it is a difference. Children with Asperger's Syndrome are typically quite smart. I hope you are able to foster a culture of respect in your class so that the other students appreciate the challenges this student faces every day.

Please post your comment below... 
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Problems Giving & Receiving Affection in Kids on the Spectrum

"My high-functioning autistic son refuses to be touched most of the time. He says he doesn't like it. It's really hard to have a child that you can't hug, kiss or hold. Is it common for children with the disorder to avoid showing and receiving affection?"

Although it can happen, it is rare for children with ASD or High-Functioning Autism to "refuse" to be touched at all times - in all situations. However, it is fairly common for them to have tactile sensory issues, which may make them avoid certain types of physical contact with others on occasion.

BUT... this really has nothing at all to do with the inability - or lack of desire - to show or receive affection. Kids on the autism spectrum are the most loving and affectionate people I know! So please don't make the mistake of taking your son's lack of interest in physical contact as a personal insult.

One of the most pervasive myths that surround ASD is that a youngster who has it will never show affection and can’t accept getting affection from anyone. There have been hundreds of stories of parents taking their child to a psychologist and the doctor telling the parents something like, "Your child can’t possibly have an Autism Spectrum Disorder because he gives you a hug now and then."

While this assessment is incorrect, studies have shown that autistic children do process sensory touch differently than a "typical" child, and that this is where the myth that young people on the spectrum don’t like to be touched comes from.

Autism and the way it affects kids really runs the gamut from light to severe. An excellent point to remember when dealing with a child on the spectrum is that every one is different and will react to almost everything differently.

Here are some tips for showing your child affection:

1. For a few kids on the spectrum, a simple, random hug can be sensory overload. They can become agitated, upset and even violent if they are touched without prior warning. You will probably need to have a trial and error approach when it comes to hugging and touching your son. Some methods may be responded to in a positive way, other ways won’t be. You just have to try and see.

2. If you think your son needs a hug, instead of rushing into his personal space and just taking one, speak to him, bend down to his level and open your arms. Smile and let him know that he is loved and see what the response is. If he doesn't come running in for a hug, don’t be offended. It may just not have been the right time.

3. If your son is too sensitive to hugs or touches to show affection, you can try positive reinforcement in addition to hand singles. Things like a simple thumbs up accompanied by a smile and some positive comments can let him know he is loved and what he did was good. You can also offer him a chance to hug during these situations - and he might just take you up on it.

4. Make sure everyone is on the same page. If you are starting to make progress on getting your son to be more affectionate, you don’t need a sibling, teacher or grandparent who doesn’t know or understand your son’s boundaries messing up all of your hard work. If you’ve begun to implement an affection program with him, make sure everyone who would possibly try to hug or touch him knows the rules.




Consistency and repetition are crucial to kids on the spectrum, and this applies to a situation like this as well. Trying to figure out a puzzling condition like autism can be a lifelong challenge. For many moms and dads, the affection issue may be the biggest. But with patience and learning to go by your son’s cues and not your own, you will be able to connect with him in a deep and meaningful way.




COMMENTS FROM PARENTS:

•    Anonymous said... 7 yr old- that was a characteristic that always puzzled me before we starting looking into "reasons why" he behaved the way he does. Helps put things into perspective a bit and not take it personal. However, with time, he has learned to handle hand shakes and an occasional hug or kiss on the top of his head. But I do like that portion in the article where it's not that they don't want it...they just can't handle the sensory overload. It's very clear he does wants that attention...it takes conscious effort to change our way of showing appreciation, love, etc with C. but it's worth it in the long run!

•    Anonymous said... It's probably really hard for the child to have a parent that wants to hug, kiss or hold him too.

•    Anonymous said... jp doest like light touches when he was younger he didn't even like the wind touching him so he would only wear long pants and long sleeves no matter how hot outside with a lot of work and time 7 years he now wears shorts and t shirts and asks for hugs or should I say tight squeezes

•    Anonymous said... My 10yr old never gives hugs either and hardly ever smiles either but when he does its so joyful

•    Anonymous said... My daughter is the same way. She doesn't like physical touch. It is very hard while my son also Aspergers like touch but only when he seeks it out first.

•    Anonymous said... My some does not like soft fluffy things or touched soft. He says it hurts. It have learned that he likes deep pressure hugs and touch on holding his hand or shoulder. Also taught him to ask for "transformer hugs" I put him in my lap facing out and hug his shoulders snug, then put pressure on his head, then he pushes upward, then do the same to each joint wrist to elbow, elbow to shoulder and same with legs until he tells me he feels better. I love him so, and glad I am figuring out his puzzle pieces.

•    Anonymous said... My son is nine and now I can hug him and he will hug us back sometimes but he still does not like to be touched by anyone other than us...and I think he just tolerates us so he doesn't hurt our feelings because he has been told so many times that mommies like to hug their children because we love them so much.

•    Anonymous said... My son likes "tight" hugs as well- took me a long time to learn what he deems "affection" Sometimes he will just come up and sniff me and smile, and that's affection from him!

•    Anonymous said... My son likes deep pressure and hugs...however, we had him in karate for about a year and he didn't like that. We thought he did but he got to a point of hiding in the bathroom whenever it was time for the one on one sparring. I finally dropped the karate.

•    Anonymous said... My son was like that for a long time. He wouldn't let you kiss or hug him or hold his hand. He might let you put your arm around him or sit in your lap, but that was when he was sick or hurt. My mom said when I was a baby, I didn't want to be held and she would have to stand next to the crib and hold my bottle for me. I still find, in alot of situations, that I don't really want to be touched too much.

•    Anonymous said... Was your child diagnosed with sensory integration disorder? My 7 yo wasnt as sensitive to some aspies are to textures or touch. We did the brushing therapy where we used soft baby brushes when he woke up. We brushed him up and down his back and arms and legs. He slso was a tip toer when he walked. He eventually grew out of that with the help of occupational therapy. Like Marcia, my son responded to compression hugs too and uses a compression vest while in school or therapy.

•    Anonymous said... We have two children on the spectrum, one totally dislikes hugs or hugging, the other will literally hang off me 24/7 if she could!

•    Anonymous said... yes my 2 grown a/s daughters the same,and my a/s hubby not much different, its sad.

•    Anonymous said... My 10 year old aspie,is forever asking for hugs.It's like a form of therapy for him!I'm thankful it's not the other way around.My heart goes out to you.

•    Anonymous said... My 6 year old grandson loves to cuddle and have hugs. Not all Aspies do not like touch. Maybe take it slow.

•    Anonymous said... My daughter is 15. She can go both ways. Sometimes she doesn't like to be touched and other times she asks me to hug her and kiss on her. I let it be up to her or if I want to hug and kiss her I ask her first so I don't upset her if she didn't want me to.

•    Anonymous said... My now 16yr old has never liked to be touched. In honesty I wish I had of zoned in more with therapy regarding this as now has impacted on the mother/son bond. It's sad.

•    Anonymous said... My son doesn't like hugs either. He is not very affectionate the most I get out of him is I love you but it's good enough for me.

•    Anonymous said... some do some don't, it can be too much of a sensory overload for them.

Post your comment below…


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Anxiety Management for Kids on the Autism Spectrum

Here are our top 10 picks for managing your child's anxiety:

























More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

 ==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

 ==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

 ==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

 ==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book
==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism
By

Should You Home-School Your ASD Child?

"I am considering home schooling for my autistic son (high functioning) starting the next school year due to the multiple issues we have had with school officials. There appears to be a gross lack of awareness of the needs of students on the autism spectrum in this district, and we feel our son is being left to 'die on the vine'. Are you a proponent for this alternative form of education? What factors do I need to consider before making a decision?"

Home-schooling is a popular educational alternative for many moms and dads of kids with ASD or High-Functioning Autism, especially if they are tired of nagging school officials to accommodate their "special needs" son or daughter. However, there are some important issues to consider before making the decision to home-school.

If you're considering this option, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Are you ready for the critics? Home-schooling has come a long way in terms of acceptance by the general public, but home-schooling skeptics still exist. Thick skin, regarding the opinions of others is a helpful attribute of home-schooling moms and dads.

2. Can you afford it? Home-schooling can be done on a shoestring budget when necessary, but there will likely be at least some cost associated with home-schooling. For most families, the decision to home-school also results in limited income potential for the primary home-schooling mother or father.
 

3. Do you have the disciplinary techniques to home-school? Home-schooling moms and dads aren't perfect, but a certain level of discipline is necessary in order for home-schooling to be successful. It's important to evaluate your current level of discipline, both as an individual and as a parent before making the decision to home-school.

4. How does your husband or wife feel about home-schooling? Although it is possible to home-school if only one of the parents believes in home-schooling, it can be very difficult to home-school on a long-term basis without approval and support from the youngster's other parent.

5. How will you arrange to meet your youngster's socialization needs? Does your youngster have opportunities to play and learn with other kids in the neighborhood and church? Are there opportunities in your area for scouting, sports, and get-togethers with other home-schoolers?

6. What are the home-schooling laws in your state? Home-schooling laws vary from state to state. For example, some states require the home-schooling parent to have a level of education.

7. Why do you want to home-school your child? It's important to know your reasons for deciding to home-school so that when doubts about home-schooling arise, you can remind yourself why you wanted to home-school in the first place. You may even find it helpful to write your reasons for home-schooling down, so that on the worst of days, you'll have something to look to for encouragement and motivation.

Carefully thinking through the above questions will help you determine whether or not home-schooling is right for you.

Another part of the decision-making process would be to look at the advantages and potential disadvantages of home-schooling. Here are just a few:


Advantages of home-schooling:
  1. An autistic youngster's natural thirst for learning is nurtured, not squelched, and learning becomes a lifelong joy. 
  2. Kids are allowed to mature at their own speeds, no "hurried child" syndrome.  
  3. Each youngster's education can be tailored to his or her unique interests, pace, and learning style.
  4. Family life revolves around its own needs and priorities rather than the demands of school. 
  5. Family values and beliefs are central to social, emotional and academic development.
  6. Home-schooled kids are comfortable interacting with people of all ages.
  7. Home-schooled kids are largely free from peer pressure.
  8. Home-schooled kids become independent thinkers who are secure in their own convictions.
  9. Home-schooled kids view adults as an integrated part of their world and as natural partners in learning. 
  10. Home-schoolers enjoy unlimited educational resources; the world is our classroom, and resources abound in the community. 
  11. Home-schooling kids have time to pursue their special interests and talents. 
  12. Home-schooling creates/maintains positive sibling relationships. 
  13. Home-schooling prevents premature parent-child separation, avoiding inappropriate pressure on kids. 
  14. Home-schooling promotes good communication and emotional closeness within a family. 
  15. Home-schooling provides a high teacher-student ratio for the child. 
  16. Home-schooling provides positive and appropriate socialization with peers and adults. 
  17. Moms and dads and other adults are the primary role models for home-schooled kids. 
  18. The parent is with his/her kid all day. 
  19. Moms and dads know and understand their kids, and are influential in their lives, even as they enter the teen years. 
  20. Research shows that the two most important factors in reading and overall educational success are positive home influence and parental involvement; home-schooling provides both.

Potential disadvantages of home-schooling:

1. Parental burn-out: You have to know ahead of time that there will be a lot of frustration coming from the child when you are covering hard subjects, and that when they get flustered, you can't allow yourself to do the same. It is important that you are able to separate at times the role of parent and educator, because you will have to be there for your youngster in a different manner in times like these. 
 
==> The Complete Guide to Teaching Students with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism [ASD Level 1]

2. Lacking the knowledge to teach effectively: You can't take it out on yourself if a subject is slightly more difficult to teach than the next one. Textbooks are out there which have been designed to teach straight from them, and acquiring them can remove some of the stigma from difficult subjects like Science or Math. The key is that you have to know that you may need to spend some time with a particular subject so you can get to the point where you can “teach” that subject. Also, you need to know that you will be teaching year-round, and that it really is going to be a full-time job. That means that you need to treat it like one, and not like a free pass from getting a public paid job.

3. Lack of socialization: Not being able to learn with peers, and not being able to associate and congregate with other students the same age can lead to some developmental problems. An inability to socialize well, a shyness that comes with not being around other kids, and a tendency to work better alone rather than in a team stem from this lack of association. These are of course things that could be overcome if the attempt is made to rectify them. By being involved in other activities, by living in a neighborhood with many other children that can be socialized with in free time, or by having siblings or cousins that are in the public system, the social skills can rub off on kids that are home-schooled.

4. Lack of resources: Resources aren't as fluid as they are in a public/private school setting. The theory is that schools will have better books, and the educators will have a better education than a mother or father does, and it could serve as a disadvantage if the parent is not ready and willing to be the go-to person for everything under the sun. The parent must be willing to do the research if a question can't be answered on the spot, which could actually turn into an advantage if he/she is willing to go that extra mile.

5. Cost: The cost of homeschooling can start to come into play when you purchase textbooks and teaching materials, and thus it makes it harder for the family that is doing the home-schooling. Further costs come into play when you consider the opportunity cost of a parent staying home, and not bringing in a second income for the family. This could be the big thing that keeps some families from homeschooling, simply because it costs the family a second source of money.

6. A defiant student at school will likely be a defiant student at home: If you have had frequent power-struggles to get your child to do homework, you need to be prepared for those struggles as a home-schooler. Just because your child can stay home and do his school-work doesn’t mean he is going to become magically compliant when it comes to (a) sitting in YOUR classroom and (b) completing homework assigned by YOU.

So, these are the factors to consider when deciding whether or not home-schooling is right for your child -- and you. Good luck in your decision-making process.

 


Here's what other parents have had to say about the home-schooling issue:

•    Anonymous said... Absolutely! We've just gone through ur 7yo Aspie son's first term doind distance ed at home. He also has ADHD and is gifted, with major sensory issues, so you can imagine how well he DIDNT cope in a classroom. It's the best thing we ever did for him. He was immediately put up a grade and has aced everything. I can't recommend homeschool enough for our special kids

•    Anonymous said... Actually it is not true that home-schooled kids are under-socialized. I know many home-schooled children who are very well rounded. They are not forced to socialize with same aged peers in a classroom, but parents are free to open a whole world of social experiences for their children, in which they socialize with all different ages and with people from different backgrounds. My son benefited more from the social aspect of homeschooling then he did all this past year in a classroom. There are home-school co-ops, opportunities in church and in the community that provides plenty of social experiences. On any given day my son would socialize with the librarian at the community library, other children from our local co-op, the cashier at the grocery store, his swim instructor...etc., and he was comfortable with it. And lets just face it, most of our kids are not and never will be social butterflies. I encourage my children to interact for what is absolutely necessary, but I refuse to try to put my kid in a box according to what society says is the "norm". My oldest son never attended a school dance, he didn't go to his prom, or even to football games, he has also never partied at some kids house while their parents are out of town. He has a few choice friends and that is all he wants. He would much rather build a computer then be "socialized" He is intelligent and witty and getting ready to start college in the fall. He spent 12 years in public school and it never achieved "socialization" for him, and he was miserable. If I had it to do over he would have been schooled at home. Their are plenty of successful people in this world who are not "social". So it is a total myth that home-schooled children are under-socialized, or that public school children are "properly socialized".... Just do what it best for YOU and your child...and know that the decisions you make for your child is the RIGHT choice!

•    Anonymous said... Basically, you HAVE to be an advocate for your child, his ambassador to the world.

•    Anonymous said... Ditto that homeschooled kids are not under socialised. Unfortunately it is a stereotype that lingers. Anyhow, I am a single lady and homeschool my son as well as work more than full time. My son and I recently looked in to school but public schools in British Columbia cannot meet my son's needs.

•    Anonymous said... home school improves everything, regardless of the learning style of the child! Read John Gatto's indictment of the "system" http://www.informationliberation.com/?id=11375 …The news you're not supposed to know...

•    Anonymous said... Children who attend school have only short periods of time to socialize, other than being in the classroom, and they spend a full 7 hours each day including travel time there. We have done both public school and homeschool, and I can tell you that the quality of the social interactions matters more than the quantity. My Aspie son is working better in groups now than when he was in school. He has one "best" friend from preK, and two new friends from homeschooling. He plays with other kids several times each week. He takes co-op classes. And most of his peers who homeschool are just as well-socialized.

•    Anonymous said... I am going to be home schooling my son also

•    Anonymous said... I decided that homeschooling wasn't going to give him the social interaction that he needs.

•    Anonymous said... I have done both and their are pro's and cons to both. My Aspie son has a Learning Disability in math and I felt like I wasn't able to teach him that subject. Now he has been in school for almost a year and I feel it has been a wasted year. I hope things get better next year or home schooling is definitely in our future again.

•    Anonymous said... I am of the opinion that the best thing is for my son to be in school in the environment that is most synonymous with the real world which he will face as a legal adult in a few very short years (... now 6). The most important thing is this, though: you have to maintain a POSITIVE, helpful, involved, informed, daily, communicative relationship with your child's school and ALL personnel with which he will come into contact throughout each day. You HAVE to arrange for tutoring sessions (with the right person) as needed. You HAVE to secure appropriate accommodations through 504 or Sped. services as needed (maintaining focus not only on areas in which remediation is necessary but also in areas of personal interest, areas of strength and social goals). You HAVE to assist the teachers in creating tools that will help your child digest all of what he is learning in the classroom (because learning styles are everything). You HAVE to read, read, read so that you can make informed decisions and offer educated insight in various situations. You HAVE to actively help your child navigate the social aspects of their days... This is hard; however, it is one of the most important things you'll need to do for your child.

•    Anonymous said... I homeschool my 11 y/o Aspie and we both love it. He was in a regular classroom in public school until 4th grade (age 9), when school became a nightmare for us: he was becoming angry and violent because of thing that were happening to him at the school, and I had spent years running back and forth to school on an almost daily basis, helping with his "behavior", which was really just him being unable to emotionally handle the demands of sitting in a classroom all day. We really thought it out -- I had to quit my job, and we sold a car to afford it -- and then felt like we had no other choice but to take the plunge. I am so glad we did! Things to consider: 1. Will he listen to and learn from you? 2. Can you handle 24/7 with your kid? (it's not easy); 3. Can you afford it financially long-term? 4. What kind of curriculum does he learn best from? 5. Are there other supports for both of you (co-ops, public school resources you will continue to use, etc). For the most part, I thought it would be a harder decision than it was. We started off with unit studies to get him out of the "schooling" mindset. Then it took about six months of trying curriculum before we found what worked. (Surprisingly, he wanted school books -- work texts -- that he could read from and write in. I think it's very concrete for him, how much he has to do each day, and it works for me too. We supplement with hands-on stuff.) Now, he has his own schedule, which he completes in about 3 hours each day, and he gets to help pick what he studies and learns. He needs a measure of control, and homeschooling gives it to him where school couldn't. We enjoy time with other homeschool kids through play dates and co-op classes. I think he feels much more safe at home, though I make sure to include social skills as a regular part of his curriculum. I firmly believe in homeschooling for kids who are outside of the "average." They learn at their own pace, in their own way, and come out all the better for it. Good luck with your choice!

•    Anonymous said... I just started homeschooling my aspie son as well and he loves it. He likes being able to move onto something new when he wants to and being able to take the day off of he's having an off day. He also likes that I let him have a big say in his curriculum and the extras we do, such as the Lego wedo learning system. This is the best choice I ever could have made.

•    Anonymous said... I started home ed for my aspie son at Easter and his younger brother too. Both are making great academic progress and are happier, loads fewer meltdowns, less medication. There are lots of other home educators out there, we all meet up regularly. Home ed groups for drama, sport, science and french. Its so much less stress than school was means I'm much happier too!

•    Anonymous said... I started home schooling my Aspie son in 4th grade and it was the BEST decision I ever made. He absolutely flourished in that environment. He loved learning so the schooling part was not a problem. And then we chose a few activities to be involved in outside the home. He is 19 years old now, received a scholarship to college and complete his first year of college very successfully with a 3.5 GPA. He lives at home and commutes to college which is about an hour away. He has truly blossomed in college and I believe it's b/c he had all those years at home being built up instead of being torn apart by his peers. He has grown into a confident young man who most of the time you wouldn't even know he has Aspergers!! . He still has some quirks of course, but over all, he's amazing! Follow your heart and do what you think is best for your child.

•    Anonymous said... I started homeschooling my son with HFA after about two months of misery in a private school for kindergarten. Finding that private school was very hard, and I really hoped that it would be good for him, because it had a smaller class, a great student/teacher ratio, and seemed to value a love of learning (rather than feeling pressured to teach to a test). But the two months he spent in that school were awful for all of us - despite a lot of hard work. Homeschooling my son is one of the BEST decisions I have ever made in my life. It is much better for both of us. I used to spend hours and hours commuting to that school, writing and reading emails to the teachers, and wracking my brain trying to think of strategies to make the situation work for my child and the rest of the people in his class. I actually spend LESS time now investing in homeschooling, and it is far more happy time, and instead of it being time spent trying to make something tolerable, it's time spent making something wonderful.

•    Anonymous said... i think it is a personal decision you know your child best just remember they need to learn how to interact and socialize appropriately

•    Anonymous said... I would consider the social aspect - not just the "socializing" time like at recess - but how to cope around other people. My daughter never had a problem with the academic part - it was the dealing with the other people part that always got her in trouble. How much time is your aspie going to have around other children or other authority figures? You need to consider how much they will get and how much they will need before you make a final decision.

•    Anonymous said... I'd love to, in theory, but I'm a single mother (only "breadwinner") and my parental burnout levels are high enough already. School is my only respite.

•    Anonymous said... it has pros and cons, depending on where you live, because they need to interact with their peers..

•    Anonymous said... My son is overly attached to me and learning to be independent and able to cope with the world without my running interference has been a years long goal. Homeschooling would just exacerbate that problem. It's been a long fight, but we finally have he school district paying for a proper school. Having a chance to interact with other kids who are very intelligent but with social/emotional issues is a blessing. He's had peers tell him that taking space to prevent a meltdown is fine and he won't get in trouble.

•    Anonymous said... Our kids need MORE socializing, not less... homeschooled kids in general are under socialized. Though there ARE ways that you can get around this... planned participation in group activities, for instance.

•    Anonymous said... The main reason I didn't consider homeschooling sooner is that I had the mistaken idea that I wouldn't be able to offer my child an opportunity to learn social skills and build friendships if he wasn't in school. But actually, homeschooling gives me an opportunity to help him do those things in ways that work far better. Rather than being dropped on a playground for twenty minutes with more than a hundred kids, he can go on playdates with a small group of children who are also homeschooled. Rather than having to adjust to a new group of 20+ kids with each year's class, he is able to form close friendships with a core group of kids that he is likely to continue playing with for years to come.

•    Anonymous said... They need the social interaction. If you did home school, you would have to be vigilant in your efforts to socialize him. Scouts, karate, theatre, find as many ways as possible to get him with other children. I am hoping my nephew can make it through middle school. I'm going to get him to take the SAT (they can take it in 7th grade) and if he blows those scores out of the water, like he does everything else, there is a chance he could be offered some really great educational opportunities. I already know public school is not the best fit for him but in his case home schooling is really not an option.

•    Anonymous said... This will be our first year homeschooling. I must have heard "I don't want to go to school today" about one million times in the past two years. He would come home with food stains on his clothes because kids were smearing food on him in the cafeteria. He also had bruises numerous times that he refused to talk about. We decided enough is enough. The principal said no special accommodation would be made for him, socially or academically. Ever since we made the decision to homeschool grade two his anxiety levels dropped by 90% even though he still had a couple of months of school left. I am looking forward to the journey. It will be tricky since I am keeping his younger brother in school for now. I know it will be stressful but I doubt it could get any worse than what the past year has been.

•    Anonymous said... Since home schooling his stress levels have decreased so much that he is now able to cope with joining in group activities. His is far more social than before. There is so many home ed groups out there so as long as you as a parent aren't socially isolated neither will they be.

•    Anonymous said... I have been homeschooling my 6th grader for only 4 months, after pulling him out of the public school for a variety of reasons. It's been quite a challenge! LOL. He will be starting a private school after spring break, and it will be a much better fit. We really wanted to find a good school for him before the end of this school year bc the social aspect is so important, not to mention it really changed family dynamics for him to be home. I also have. 4th grade daughter with different challenges. I know that private school can be daunting, but we were very happy with the financial aid offered, as we never thought we could make it work. It's been a long 4 months for all of us, but it was worth it. On a positive note, I LOVED getting to really know him one on one, which can be a challenge with a normal school/family schedule. I know we have a closer relationship now.

•    Anonymous said... I was actually able to get the school to provide a home tutor because I got a dr. Note saying he needed to be out of the classroom for x amount of time due to the stress and lack of meeting his needs in the classroom. We made a big stink about that.

•    Anonymous said... In BC in the fraser valley I just found out there is a school for kids with autism and such, I don't know if this is something other communities are trying to incorporate and I only found out about it from a friend of a friend who has kids there. I had no clue otherwise it even existed!

•    Anonymous said... My son survived middle school by attending a school for children with learning differences. The student-teacher ratio was 5:1. Unfortunately, that school does not have high school classes. He attended a small private school for two years where he made a couple of really good friends, but academically it was disastrous. He completed 11th and 12th grades online with great success.

•    Anonymous said... This is definitely something to think about. It has crossed my mind a couple times this year because my daughter had struggled so much at school. My main concern is cost. Are there any programs that can help with the costs of home schooling?

•    Anonymous said... We currently school at home with Michigan Virtual Charter Academy at K12. It has allowed our kiddo with Asperger tendencies to really flourish! It's lovely to be able to provide a controlled environment for him but also have the support of teachers!

•    Anonymous said... I am doing it.....home school...that way we know how to correct his negative behaviors....

•    Anonymous said... I am not in favor with a child like this . They need socialization and a lot of structure which I feel the home environment can't provide

•    Anonymous said... We use a K12.com school and it's been wonderful! We get the same services and even get full time in home IBI support while we're doing her work. Yes it's hard but worth it, my child and many others have blossomed at home and now she's getting straight A's, the school bent over backwards giving us an IEP that we couldn't get at a B&M school and it allows my child to move at her place, in 7th grade she's already earning high school credit. She will enter high school as a sophomore and will start earning college credit in high school. This from a child who was a mess and failing all her classes in "regular" school.

•    Anonymous said... I have homeschooled my aspie for the last two years. It wasn't too hard for him to be in elementary school, but he found middle school very painful. He was misunderstood and didn't understand them either. His frustration levels stayed very high, he starting feeling awful about himself, his thoughts became suicidal...I can go on. Socialising him was no longer a relevant argument when it is that very socialisation that is tearing him up. It has taken almost all of these last two years our me to get my son back. He has decided to try high school at the end of this year. We will support him in this decision, and we will be ready to catch him if he falls...then we will try again and again. There are so many great homeschooling coops where you can socialize. It doesn't only happen in a classroom.

•    Anonymous said... K12 is the number one choice in K-12 online education programs in America. K12 is the trusted provider of... 

*    Unknown said... I homeschooled my HFA son from halfway through first grade until he graduated from high school. I made that choice because it was the best thing I could do for my son, and I've never once regretted it. The school system told me that autism limited him and that he belonged in a self-contained classroom and eventually in a group home. They told me all he could NOT do, but I saw all he COULD do. I don't believe any child should have limits imposed on him in regard to potential, so I took the reins and taught him myself. And it was wonderful!! Yes, there were challenges along the way, and yes, there were sacrifices we made in order to do it, but I wouldn't change one thing. It was much less expensive than buying scads of school supplies for a large classroom and participating in annual fund-raisers. The wide variety of excellent curriculum choices available from multiple publishers made finding a right fit for his learning style and interests very, very easy. Year after year, I continued to teach him, tailoring his education to his specific needs, teaching to his strengths, encouraging his development in every essential area, and providing opportunities for personal growth through youth groups, art classes, etiquette class, sleep-away camps, field trips, public speaking engagements, and (in high school) volunteer hours at the local library. He not only did well with homeschooling; he flourished! When he was 18, he finished high school as a National Merit Scholar, went off to college on the other side of the country, and in spring of 2019, graduated from a tier-one university with a BS in meteorology with a physic minor. Homeschooling was not only excellent preparation for college and real life, but it was the MAKING of him.

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