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Comprehensive Strategies for Parents to Help Autistic Teens Manage Angry Outbursts

Navigating the emotional landscape of an autistic teenager can be both rewarding and challenging. Among the most significant hurdles parents face are angry outbursts, which can arise from a variety of triggers unique to each teenager. Understanding the nuances of these emotional expressions is the first step in helping your teenager learn to cope effectively with their feelings of anger.

Understanding the Nature of Anger in Autistic Teens: A Crucial Step for Informed Parenting

1. **Identifying Triggers of Anger**:
   Autistic teens often face heightened sensitivity to environmental stimuli. Common triggers may include loud noises, bright lights, or even uncomfortable textures. Additionally, unexpected changes in routine—such as a surprise visitor, a change in plans, or a sudden power outage—can lead to feelings of frustration or anxiety, culminating in angry outbursts. By paying close attention to your teenager’s behavior and surroundings, you can begin to identify patterns and potential triggers that lead to these emotional reactions.

2. **Communication Barriers**:
   For many autistic teens, verbal communication can be a significant hurdle, making it difficult to articulate their emotions and needs. Frustration can swiftly escalate into anger when they cannot express themselves effectively or feel misunderstood. Understanding that this communication gap is critical to their emotional outbursts helps parents approach the situation with empathy and strategy.

3. **Challenges with Emotional Regulation**:
   Emotional regulation is a skill that many autistic teens struggle to develop. Unlike their neurotypical peers, they may not have learned how to manage overwhelming emotions, which can easily spiral into intense reactions. Teaching strategies for grounding themselves during such moments is crucial for fostering emotional resilience.

Practical Strategies for Parents: Empowering You to Make a Difference

1. **Creating a Structured Routine**:
   Establishing a consistent daily routine can provide a sense of security and predictability for your teenager. Implementing a visual schedule with pictures representing each activity can simplify their understanding of the day ahead. Timers can also help prepare them for transitions between activities, reducing anxiety and minimizing the potential for outbursts.

2. **Tracking Triggers**:
   Keeping a detailed journal of your teenager’s outbursts can prove invaluable in pinpointing specific triggers. Record what preceded each incident, noting any sensory stimuli, changes in routine, or emotional cues. Over time, you may notice patterns that can inform your proactive strategies.

3. **Fostering Emotional Awareness**:
   Teach your teenager to identify and articulate their feelings using simple words and visual aids, such as emotion cards. For example, you can introduce expressions like "frustrated," "overwhelmed," or "angry" along with corresponding facial expressions. Practicing this during calm moments allows your teenager to become more familiar with their emotions and express them more effectively when they feel upset.

4. **Modeling Healthy Emotional Responses**:
   Teens learn significantly through observation. Model appropriate emotions and coping mechanisms in your daily life. When you encounter a stressful situation, verbalize your thought process: “I feel frustrated because I can’t find my keys. I’m going to take a few deep breaths to calm down.” This demonstrates practical methods for handling anger constructively.

5. **Building a Calming Toolkit**:
   Develop a personalized toolkit filled with calming techniques tailored to your teenager’s preferences. This may include sensory toys like stress balls or fidget spinners, calming music playlists, or activities like coloring or nature walks. Encourage your teenager to reach for these tools when they sense their frustration rising, allowing them to manage their emotions proactively.

6. **Implementing Positive Reinforcement**:
   Recognizing and rewarding your teenager for managing their emotions effectively can reinforce positive behavior. For instance, if your teenager successfully uses a coping strategy instead of erupting in anger, offer sincere praise or consider implementing a rewards chart with small prizes for positive behavior. This positive reinforcement can help your teenager associate their efforts with a sense of accomplishment, encouraging them to continue using these strategies.

7. **Teaching Problem-Solving Skills**:
   Equip your teenager with problem-solving strategies to address frustrating situations. Utilize role-playing to explore different scenarios, such as losing a toy or when a friend doesn’t want to play. Guiding them through these interactions can prepare them to handle real-life frustrations more positively, building their confidence in managing conflicts.

8. **Establishing a Safe Space**:
   Create a designated 'calm corner' in your home—think of a small area filled with comforting items such as soft cushions, favorite books, and sensory objects. This retreat gives your teenager a go-to space to decompress when they begin to feel overwhelmed, fostering a sense of safety and control.

9. **Partnering with Educators and Therapists**:
   Open communication with your teenager's teachers and therapists can cultivate a consistent emotional management approach. Share insights and strategies that work at home so that they may be implemented within the school environment. Collaborative strategies can create a unified support system for your teenager.
 
When to Seek Professional Help

If your teenager experiences frequent or severe angry outbursts that disrupt daily life or create unsafe situations, seeking professional guidance may be necessary. Therapists specializing in autism can provide tailored strategies and interventions, including techniques such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). These approaches can help teens navigate their emotions and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

In summary, helping an autistic teenager manage angry outbursts is an ongoing journey of challenges and rewards. By recognizing triggers, establishing supportive routines, and teaching essential emotional regulation skills, parents can significantly improve their teenager’s capacity to cope with anger. With dedication, love, and the right strategies, parents can empower their teens to experience and manage their emotions more effectively, positively impacting their overall well-being and development.
 

 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...
By

The 5 Main Traits of ASD Level 1 (High-Functioning Autism)

ASD Level 1, also known as "high-functioning autism," is characterized by mild symptoms that may interfere with an individual's ability to function in social or occupational settings. Some common traits of ASD Level 1 include:

1.    Challenges in social interactions, such as difficulty with initiating or sustaining conversations, and struggles with understanding nonverbal communication cues like body language and facial expressions.

Difficulty in Understanding Social Cues—

One of the primary challenges individuals with autism face in social interactions is difficulty in understanding social cues. This includes non-verbal cues such as body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. As a result, they may struggle to interpret the emotions and intentions of others, making it challenging to engage in typical social interactions.

Trouble with Reciprocal Communication—

Individuals with autism often experience difficulties in engaging in reciprocal communication. They may struggle with initiating conversations, maintaining eye contact, or taking turns during a conversation. This can lead to social isolation and difficulties in forming meaningful relationships with peers.

Sensory Sensitivities—

Many individuals with autism have sensory sensitivities, which can impact their ability to engage in social interactions. Certain social environments may be overwhelming due to sensory stimuli such as loud noises, bright lights, or crowded spaces. This can lead to social withdrawal and avoidance of social situations.

Challenges in Understanding Social Norms—

Understanding and adhering to social norms can be challenging for individuals with autism. They may have difficulty grasping unwritten social rules, understanding personal space boundaries, or interpreting the nuances of social etiquette. This can lead to social misunderstandings and feelings of alienation.

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

Strategies for Supporting Individuals with Autism in Social Interactions—

Understanding the challenges faced by individuals with autism in social interactions is essential for creating an inclusive environment. Here are some strategies for supporting individuals with autism:

  • Providing clear and explicit communication
  • Creating structured social situations with clear expectations
  • Offering support for sensory sensitivities
  • Educating peers and community members about autism and promoting acceptance and understanding


2.    Repetitive behaviors or restricted interests, such as adherence to strict routines, intense focus on specific topics, or repetitive movements.


Repetitive behaviors in individuals with autism can manifest in different forms, including repetitive body movements such as hand-flapping or rocking, insistence on sameness and routines, and an intense focus on specific topics or objects. These behaviors often serve as a way for individuals with autism to cope with anxiety and sensory sensitivities. While repetitive behaviors can provide comfort and a sense of control, they can also interfere with daily functioning and social interaction.

Restricted interests refer to the intense, narrow focus that individuals with autism may develop on specific topics or activities. This might involve an encyclopedic knowledge of a particular subject, an obsession with collecting specific items, or a fixation on certain patterns or routines. While these interests can be a source of joy and expertise for individuals with autism, they can also limit their engagement in other activities and social interactions.

It's important to understand that repetitive behaviors and restricted interests are not necessarily negative aspects of autism. They are part of the individual's unique way of experiencing the world. However, they can present challenges in educational, occupational, and social settings. Understanding and accommodating these behaviors is crucial in supporting individuals with autism.

Therapies and interventions aimed at addressing repetitive behaviors and restricted interests in autism often focus on teaching alternative coping strategies, expanding interests, and promoting flexibility. Applied behavior analysis (ABA), cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and occupational therapy are some of the approaches used to help individuals manage these behaviors and develop broader areas of interest.

3.    Sensory sensitivities, which can manifest as heightened or reduced sensitivity to sensory input such as light, sound, touch, or taste.

Sensory sensitivities refer to heightened reactions to sensory stimuli such as sound, touch, taste, smell, and sight. For individuals with autism, these sensitivities can manifest in different ways. Some individuals may be hypersensitive to certain stimuli, while others may be hyposensitive, meaning they seek out more sensory input to feel stimulated. This can result in distress, discomfort, or sensory overload, making it challenging for individuals with autism to navigate their surroundings.

It's important to recognize that sensory sensitivities are not simply preferences or aversions; they are fundamental to how individuals with autism experience the world. For example, a seemingly harmless sound, such as the buzzing of fluorescent lights, could be excruciatingly overwhelming for someone with sensory sensitivities. Similarly, certain textures of clothing or unexpected touch can cause extreme discomfort.

==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Supporting individuals with autism and sensory sensitivities involves creating an environment that minimizes sensory triggers and provides coping strategies. Here are some approaches that can be beneficial:

•    Sensory-Friendly Spaces: Designing environments with consideration for sensory sensitivities can greatly improve the well-being of individuals with autism. This may involve using soft lighting, minimizing background noise, and offering sensory-friendly seating options.


•    Sensory Diet: Developing a "sensory diet" involves identifying specific sensory activities that help regulate an individual's sensory system. This could include activities like deep pressure input, fidget toys, or sensory breaks to prevent sensory overload.


•    Communication and Advocacy: Encouraging open communication and understanding of individual sensory needs is crucial. Individuals with autism should feel empowered to express their sensory challenges and preferences, and others should be receptive and accommodating.


•    Education and Awareness: Increasing awareness and understanding of sensory sensitivities associated with autism within the wider community can lead to greater empathy and support for individuals with autism.

By recognizing and addressing sensory sensitivities, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment for individuals with autism.

4.    Difficulties with transitioning or adapting to change, leading to anxiety or distress in situations that deviate from familiar routines.

For individuals with autism, maintaining a predictable routine can provide a sense of security and stability. Any deviation from the routine or unexpected changes can lead to distress and anxiety. This can be particularly challenging in settings such as school or work, where schedules and expectations may vary.

Social transitions can also pose challenges for individuals with autism. Meeting new people, navigating social gatherings, or adjusting to changes in relationships can be overwhelming. The unspoken rules of social interactions can be difficult for individuals with autism to understand, making it hard for them to adapt to new social situations.

Environmental changes, such as moving to a new house or experiencing a change in sensory input, can also be overwhelming for individuals with autism. Sensory sensitivities are common among people with autism, and changes in sensory input can lead to discomfort or distress.

So, how can we support individuals with autism in transitioning and adapting to change? One approach is to provide clear and consistent communication about any upcoming changes. This can help individuals prepare for the transition and reduce anxiety. Visual supports, such as schedules and social stories, can also be helpful in explaining upcoming changes and what to expect.

Creating structured transitions and providing ample time for individuals to adjust to change can also be beneficial. Gradual exposure to new situations or environments, along with positive reinforcement, can help individuals with autism build confidence and develop coping strategies for managing change.

==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

5.    Strong preference for solitude or solitary activities, and a tendency to feel overwhelmed or drained by social interactions.

Individuals with autism often exhibit a strong inclination towards solitary activities and may find comfort and solace in being alone. This preference for solitude can manifest in various ways, such as seeking out solitary hobbies, engaging in repetitive behaviors in isolation, or withdrawing from social interactions.

It's important to recognize that not all individuals with autism display the same patterns of behavior, and preferences for solitude can vary widely among those on the autism spectrum. For some individuals, solitary activities may provide a sense of calm and predictability in a world that can often feel overwhelming and chaotic. Engaging in solitary pursuits may serve as a coping mechanism, allowing individuals with autism to regulate their sensory experiences and reduce feelings of anxiety or distress.

However, it's crucial to approach the strong preference for solitude in the context of individual differences and personal preferences. While some individuals with autism may find solace in being alone, others may desire social connections but struggle to navigate the complexities of interpersonal interactions. Understanding and respecting these differences is essential in providing support and creating inclusive environments for individuals with autism.

Moreover, the strong preference for solitude in individuals with autism should not be misconstrued as a lack of interest in social connections or relationships. Many individuals with autism value meaningful connections and friendships, but may face challenges in initiating and maintaining social interactions. By promoting understanding and acceptance, we can help create opportunities for individuals with autism to engage in social activities on their own terms, while also respecting their need for solitude when necessary.

It's important to note that each individual with ASD Level 1 may experience a unique combination of these traits, and the severity of symptoms can vary widely. Additionally, individuals with ASD Level 1 often have strengths as well, such as exceptional attention to detail, proficiency in specific areas of interest, and the ability to think in a logical, systematic manner.


 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...



By

Raising Kids with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Parents' Grief and Guilt


Some parents grieve for the loss of the youngster they imagined they had. Moms and dads have their own particular way of dealing with the situation based on a number of factors (e.g., their personality style, life experiences and support systems, among others).

Clearly there are a range of stages and coping techniques, such as denial, depression, anger and rationalization. Most families recognize, at least at some level, that there is something significantly wrong with their "special needs" youngster. To at last be given a name for it (i.e., ASD level 1,  or High-Functioning Autism) can be a relief.

Certainly, having a clearer understanding of what is wrong affords the opportunity to obtain appropriate services, as well as to begin to think about the youngster in a different, and hopefully more helpful way.

Grief—

The grief surrounding the diagnosis of an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is compounded by tremendous confusion and uncertainty. Many moms and dads have little understanding of what the diagnosis entails. Many have the inaccurate perception that all kids with ASD are non-verbal, mentally retarded, extremely remote and possibly self-abusive. Parents must become informed about the varied presentations of ASD. This spectrum is a long one with extremely impaired individuals at one end, but highly capable ones on the other.

While the continuum is long, the potential of any particular youngster is unclear. The course of the disorder is extremely hard to predict at an early age. Some very impaired looking toddlers go on to become high functioning adults, including adults with Asperger's. As one parent said, “The problem is we don’t know if he is going to become a rocket scientist or work in a sheltered workshop.”

After learning of the diagnosis on an autism spectrum disorder, the family is forced not only to come to terms with what may be a devastating handicap, but is thrust almost immediately into making many critically important decisions. To champion the youngster’s cause at the same time one must begin to grieve is truly an untenable position. 

It is as if one must – overnight – and while grieving – become an expert in ASD and its treatment, despite tremendously conflicting opinions. There is considerable support to the notion that the availability of early, intensive intervention offers the best hope for improvement. While this hope leads to a sense of optimism, the message that services must be implemented immediately and intensively can also feel overwhelming.

In addition to decisions about what kind of schooling their youngster should have, moms and dads must also make decisions about such treatments and services as speech therapy and occupational therapy. What about sensory integration? Auditory retraining? Facilitated communication? Medication? Behavior modification? Many times the approaches seem confusing and even contradictory, with proponents claiming success and even cures. How is a parent, especially one in the midst of grieving, and of desperately hoping for help, supposed to make informed, intelligent choices?

The grief work in the families of kids with an ASD is an ongoing process. In most families, there are periods of greater and lesser intensity to the grieving. This intensity may partly relate to developmental issues in the youngster. For example, birthdays or other rites of passage (e.g. Bar Mitzvahs, graduations, etc.) may underscore how different the youngster is from his typical peers. Grief intensity may also relate to more personal, individual factors. These factors include such things as one’s own temperament, history, supports and losses.

In addition to the waxing and waning in the intensity of grief, there is typically an alternation of hope and despair. Each new treatment or program for the youngster is often accompanied by an increase in optimism in the parents. If the new treatment or program is deemed unsuccessful, despair may follow, only to be replaced by hope once again, when a new plan is implemented.

Feelings of jealousy and anger are common in many families. These feelings may be directed towards other families who do not have to contend with such stresses or towards other families with disabled kids whose kids are higher functioning or have improved to a greater extent. Many families also experience feelings of anger and frustration towards professionals for a variety of reasons. These reasons include not diagnosing properly, insensitivity, offering false hope or providing inadequate or ineffective treatments or services.

One variant of grief that sometimes occurs in the families of higher functioning kids, particularly those with Autism, is the sense that the youngster “should” be doing better than he is because he is so bright. There may be feelings of frustration that “normalcy” is so close, yet still out of reach. For some of these kids and their families, graduation from high school is a particularly stressful time. For the parents, there may be the sadness that their youngster is not yet able to be independent the way their typically developing peers are. Finding work is often challenging for those on the autism spectrum, and support services are usually quite limited for this population.

Guilt—

Guilt is another common reaction to the diagnosis of ASD in a youngster. Fortunately, the medical and professional community no longer hold to the notion that autism is a result of parental failing. Today, there is widespread acceptance of the fact that ASD is a genetically based disorder. The possible contribution of additional factors, such as environmental toxins, is currently being studied.

This change in perspective, from parental failing to genetic loading, has not eradicated parental guilt, although in most cases it has lessened it. Many moms and dads wonder what they unwittingly did to contribute to their youngster's disorder. Were they exposed to too much mercury from injections or dental fillings? Was the termite control treatment of their house the culprit?

There have been articles in the press on the high incidence of ASD in Silicon Valley. Time Magazine entitled the phenomenon the "Geek Syndrome" in the article "The Secrets of Autism". This term has led some to speculate that the blame has shifted from “refrigerator mothers” to “geek fathers.” Said differently, believing genetics is the cause does not necessarily eradicate the guilt parents feel. Unfortunately, in some cases, it seems to confirm their fears about having caused or contributed to their youngster’s disability.


By

ASD Meltdown-Management: Key Points for Parents of Kids on the Autism Spectrum

A meltdown is a condition where the youngster with ASD level 1, or High Functioning Autism, temporarily loses control due to emotional responses to environmental factors. It generally appears that the youngster has lost control over a single and specific issue, however this is very rarely the case. 

Usually, the problem is the accumulation of a number of irritations which could span a fairly long period of time, particularly given the strong long-term memory abilities of young people on the autism spectrum.

Why The Problems Seem Hidden—

ASD kids don't tend to give a lot of clues that they are very irritated:
  • Often ASD child-grievances are aired as part of their normal conversation and may even be interpreted by NTs (i.e., neurotypicals, or people without autism) as part of their standard whining.
  • Some things which annoy ASD kids would not be considered annoying to NTs, and this makes NT's less likely to pick up on a potential problem.
  • Their facial expressions very often will not convey the irritation.
  • Their vocal tones will often remain flat even when they are fairly annoyed.

What Happens During A Meltdown—

The meltdown appears to most people as a temper tantrum. There are marked differences between adults and kids. Kids tend to flop onto the ground and shout, scream or cry. Quite often, they will display violent behavior such as hitting or kicking.

In adults, due to social pressures, violent behavior in public is less common. Shouting outbursts or emotional displays can occur though. More often, it leads to depression and the ASD man or woman simply retreats into themselves and abandons social contact.

Some ASD kids describe the meltdown as a red or grey band across the eyes. There is a loss of control and a feeling of being a powerless observer outside the body. This can be dangerous as the ASD youngster may strike out, particularly if the instigator is nearby or if the "Aspie" is taunted during a meltdown.

Depression—

Sometimes, depression is the only outward visible sign of a meltdown. At other times, depression results when the ASD youngster leaves the meltdown state and confronts the results of the meltdown. The depression is a result of guilt over abusive, shouting or violent behavior.

Dealing With Meltdowns—

Unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do when a meltdown occurs in a child on the autism spectrum. The best thing you can do is to train yourself to recognize a meltdown before it happens and take steps to avoid it.

Example from one mother: "ASD kids are quite possessive about their food, and my autistic child will sometimes decide that he does not want his meat to be cut up for him. When this happens, taking his plate from him and cutting his meat could cause a full-blown meltdown. The best way to deal with this is to avoid touching it for the first part of the meal until he starts to want my involvement. When this occurs, instead of taking his plate from him, it is more effective to lean over and help him to cut the first piece. Once he has cut the first piece with help, he will often allow the remaining pieces to be cut for him."

Once the youngster reaches an age where they can understand (around age 4 or so), you can work on explaining the situation. One way you could do this would be to discreetly videotape a meltdown and allow them to watch it at a later date. You could then discuss the incident, explain why it isn't socially acceptable, and give them some alternatives.

One adult "Aspie" stated the following:

"When I was little, I remember that the single best motivation for keeping control was once when my mother called me in after play and talked about the day. In particular, she highlighted an incident where I had fallen down and hurt myself. She said, 'Did you see how your friend started to go home as soon as you fell down because they were scared that you were going to have a meltdown?' She went on to say, 'When you got up and laughed, they were so happy that they came racing back. I'm proud of you for controlling your emotions.' That was a good moment for me that day. It really gave me some insight into how I tended to respond quickly without much forethought. I carried this with me for years later and would always strive to contain myself. I wouldn't always succeed, but at least I was trying."

Meltdowns And Punishment—

One of the most important things to realize is that meltdowns are part of the ASD condition. You can't avoid them; merely try to reduce the damage. Punishing an ASD youngster for a meltdown is like punishing someone for swearing when they hit their thumb with a hammer. It won't do any good whatsoever and can only serve to increase the distance between you and your youngster.

In addition, meltdowns aren't wholly caused by the current scenario, but are usually the result of an overwhelming number of other issues. The one which "causes" the meltdown is the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Unless you're a mind reader, you won't necessarily know what the other factors are, and your ASD youngster may not be able to fully communicate the problem.

Every teacher of ASD students and every mom or dad of an ASD child can expect to witness some meltdowns. On average, meltdowns are equally common in boys and girls, and more than half of autistic kids will have one or more per week.

At home, there are predictable situations that can be expected to trigger meltdowns, for example:
  • bath time
  • bedtime
  • car rides
  • dinner time
  • family activities involving siblings
  • family visiting another house
  • getting dressed
  • getting up
  • interactions with peers
  • mom or dad talking on the phone
  • playtime
  • public places
  • visitors at the house
  • watching TV

Other settings include:
  • answering questions in class
  • directives from the teacher
  • getting ready to work
  • group activities
  • individual seat work
  • interactions with other children
  • on the school bus
  • the playground
  • transitions between activities

From time to time, all ASD kids will whine, complain, resist, cling, argue, hit, shout, run, and defy authority figures. Meltdowns, although normal, can become upsetting to parents and teachers because they are embarrassing, challenging, and difficult to manage. Also, meltdowns can become particularly difficult to manage when they occur with greater frequency, intensity, and duration than is typical for the age of the ASD kid.

There are nine different types of temperaments in kids on the spectrum:

1. Distracted temperament predisposes the kid to pay more attention to his or her surroundings than to the caregiver.

2. High-intensity level temperament moves the kid to yell, scream, or hit hard when feeling threatened.

3. Hyperactive temperament predisposes the kid to respond with fine- or gross-motor activity.

4. Initial withdrawal temperament is found when kids get clingy, shy, and unresponsive in new situations and around unfamiliar people.

5. Irregular temperament moves the kid to escape the source of stress by needing to eat, drink, sleep, or use the bathroom at irregular times when he or she does not really have the need.

6. Low sensory threshold temperament is evident when the kid complains about tight clothes and people staring and refuses to be touched by others.

7. Negative mood temperament is found when kids appear lethargic, sad and lack the energy to perform a task.

8. Negative persistent temperament is seen when the kid seems stuck in his or her whining and complaining.

9. Poor adaptability temperament shows itself when kids resist, shut down, and become passive-aggressive when asked to change activities.

Around age 2, some ASD kids will start having what I refer to as "normal meltdowns." These bouts can last until approximately age 4. Some parents (thinking in terms of temper tantrums) mistakenly call this stage "the terrible twos," and others call it "first adolescence" because the struggle for independence is similar to what is seen during adolescence. Regardless of what the stage is called, there is a normal developmental course for meltdowns in children on the autism spectrum.

Children on the spectrum  during this stage will test the limits. They want to see how far they can go before mom or dad stops their behavior. At age 2, ASD kids are very egocentric and can't see another person’s point of view. They want independence and self-control to explore their environment. When they can't reach a goal, they show frustration by crying, arguing, yelling, or hitting. When their need for independence collides with the parents' needs for safety and conformity, the conditions are perfect for a power struggle and a meltdown. 

A meltdown is designed to get the parents to desist in their demands or give the child what he or she wants. Many times, ASD kids stop the meltdown only when they get what is desired. What is most upsetting to parents is that it is virtually impossible to reason with ASD kids who are having a meltdown. Arguing and cajoling in response to a meltdown only escalates the problem.

By age 3, many young people on the spectrum are less impulsive and can use language to express their needs. Meltdowns at this age are often less frequent and less severe. Nevertheless, some preschoolers have learned that a meltdown is a good way to get what they want.

By age 4, most ASD kids have the necessary motor and physical skills to meet many of their own needs without relying so much on the parent. At this age, these young people also have better language that allows them to express their anger and to problem-solve and compromise. Despite these improved skills, even kindergarten-age and school-age ASD kids can still have meltdowns when they are faced with demanding academic tasks and new interpersonal situations in school.

It is much easier to “prevent” meltdowns than it is to manage them once they have erupted.  Here are some tips for preventing meltdowns and some things you can say:

1. Avoid boredom. Say, “You have been working for a long time. Let’s take a break and do something fun.”

2. Change environments, thus removing the child from the source of the meltdown. Say, “Let’s go for a walk.”

3. Choose your battles. Teach them how to make a request without a meltdown and then honor the request. Say, “Try asking for that toy nicely and I’ll get it for you.”

4. Create a safe environment that these children can explore without getting into trouble. Childproof your home or classroom so they can explore safely.

5. Distract them by redirection to another activity when they meltdown over something they should not do or can't have. Say, “Let’s read a book together.”

6. Do not "ask" ASD kids to do something when they must do what you ask. Do not ask, “Would you like to eat now?” Say, “It's dinnertime now.”

7. Establish routines and traditions that add structure. For teachers, start class with a sharing time and opportunity for interaction.

8. Give these children control over little things whenever possible by giving choices. A little bit of power given to the kid can stave-off the big power struggles later (e.g., “Which do you want to do first, brush your teeth or put on your pajamas?”).

9. Increase your tolerance level. Are you available to meet the ASD kid’s reasonable needs? Evaluate how many times you say, “No.” Avoid fighting over minor things.

10. Keep a sense of humor to divert the child's attention and surprise him or her out of the meltdown.

11. Keep off-limit objects out of sight and therefore out of mind. In an art activity, keep the scissors out of reach if the child is not ready to use them safely.

12. Make sure that ASD kids are well rested and fed in situations in which a meltdown is a likely possibility. Say, “Dinner is almost ready, here’s a cracker for now.”

13. Provide pre-academic, behavioral, and social challenges that are at the ASD kid’s developmental level so that he or she doesn't become frustrated.

14. Reward them for positive attention rather than negative attention. During situations when they are prone to meltdowns, catch them when they are being good and say things like, “Nice job sharing with your friend.”

15. Signal them before you reach the end of an activity so that they can get prepared for the transition. Say, “When the timer goes off 5 minutes from now, it will be time to turn off the TV and go to bed.”

16. When visiting new places or unfamiliar people, explain to the child beforehand what to expect. Say, “Stay with your assigned buddy in the museum.”

There are a number of ways to “handle” a meltdown that is already underway.  Strategies include the following:

1. Hold the ASD  kid who is out of control and is going to hurt himself or herself (or someone else). Let the child know that you will let him or her go as soon as he or she calms down. Reassure the child that everything will be all right, and help him or her calm down. Moms and dads may need to hug their Aspergers kid who is crying, and say they will always love him or her no matter what, but that the behavior has to change. This reassurance can be comforting for an Aspergers kid who may be afraid because he or she lost control.

2. If the youngster has escalated the meltdown to the point where you are not able to intervene in the ways described above, then you may need to direct the child to time-out. If you are in a public place, carry your child outside or to the car. Tell him that you will go home unless he calms down. In school, warn the student up to three times that it is necessary to calm down, and give a reminder of the rule. If the student refuses to comply, then place him in time-out for no more than 1 minute for each year of age.

3. Remain calm and do not argue. Before you manage her, you must manage your own behavior. Punishing or yelling at the child during a meltdown will make it worse.

4. Talk with the child after he has calmed down. When he stops crying, talk about the frustration the he has experienced. Try to help solve the problem if possible. For the future, teach the child new skills to help avoid meltdowns (e.g., how to ask appropriately for help, how to signal an adult that he  needs to go to “time away” to “stop, think, and make a plan” ...and so on). Teach the Aspergers kid how to try a more successful way of interacting with a peer or sibling, how to express his feelings with words, and recognize the feelings of others without hitting and screaming.

5. Think before you act. Count to 10 and then think about the source of the ASD kid’s frustration, the child’s characteristic temperamental response to stress (e.g., hyperactivity, distractibility, moodiness, etc.), and the predictable steps in the escalation of the meltdown.

6. Try to intervene before the youngster is out of control. Get down at her eye level and say, “You are starting to get revved up, let's slow down.” Now you have several choices of intervention.

7. You can ignore the meltdown if it is being thrown to get your attention. Once the ASD kid calms down, you can give the attention that is desired.

8. You can place the youngster in "time away." Time away is a quiet place where he goes to calm down, think about what he needs to do, and with your help, make a plan to change the behavior.

9. You can positively distract the child by getting her focused on something else that is an acceptable activity (e.g., remove the unsafe item and replace with an age-appropriate game).

Post-Meltdown Management—

1. Do not reward the child after a meltdown for calming down. Some kids will learn that a meltdown is a good way to get a treat later.

2. Explain to the child that there are better ways to get what she wants.

3. Never let the meltdown interfere with your otherwise positive relationship with your child.

4. Never, under any circumstances, give in to a meltdown. That response will only increase the number and frequency of the meltdowns.

5. Teach the youngster that anger is a feeling that we all have, and then teach her ways to express anger constructively.


Best Comment—

My name is Sharon, I have been with Elliott for over ten years and we have a son Brandon who is 6 yr old. They both have aspergers syndrome we are awaiting Brandon’s appointment with the paediatrician consultant for diagnosis, but I am 110% sure it will be aspergers. I am feeling in the thick of it of late I have and am constantly looking for local support and forums online etc to reach out for guidance and any support also to offer my own support to others. I am a person centred therapist and in the past have worked in supporting children and adults on the autistic spectrum, I do have a good insight into the autistic spectrum but nothing prepares you for how it feels actually living 24/7 with it.

Firstly the biggest part for me is the heart break and hurt I feel for my son, then the worry and concern how he will get along in life. I am very pro active and of late have worked well with school to best advise them how we support Brandon’s needs it’s been an uphill struggle for the last year especially as they don't seem to have the knowledge or the amenities to support him.

I have been called to school several times of late because of his "disruptive" behaviour,, basically his stimming he does get louder if in a louder environment the teachers know this is a trigger and he is left alone to deal with this instead of being prepared for a change of noise or scenery or even a much needed teaching assistant who could work alongside him. If he gets too disruptive he is taken out of the class environment for "time out" is this a good way of dealing with it? As we have told school time out at home is if he is naughty, which generally he is never naughty. we have what we call quiet time at home where sometimes when he feels over load we just find a quiet place to sit together and relax or read whatever he wants really but it brings him down and more settled to cope better.

Again it will mean another meeting or ten..... To resolve or make a better learning environment for Brandon. They say they can’t do anything till he’s been statemented and funded for an assistant or further support. But they will assist him as best they can and I do feel listened to but there is of late something new nearly every day that needs adaption which imp fine with I am aware he defiantly needs some support. I have been on an emotional roller coaster.

It feels so isolating as support around this neck of woods is minimal. Brandon’s upset of late is his lack of friends he just wants his family to be at school all day every day his words because we love him! So the social aspect this is. So I discussed with head teacher and she has set a buddy system up for him its yet to be seen to be working, as I know how difficult it is for Brandon to mix and communicate with his peers and when he does he gets rejected.

We have tried so many routes with this he seems to connect with kids in play areas as he and they are generally being quite boisterous but its time limited so he feels less pressure. We are also in process of groups i.e. dancing as he loves to dance (street dance) and maybe other recreations of his choice. It feels like a very long a winding road what we are on I know I haven't spoke much bout Elliott having spent ten years with him would have thought Brandon’s aspergers may come easier to me understanding wise yes but on a personal level it’s so upsetting.

Other points are his eating habits he is a very bland eater and eats the same few foods we supplement with vitamins he is quite small in frame but eats quite well the foods he does enjoy think they call it the beige diet he has no colour in his food at all (pasta, no sauce, chicken nuggets, crisps plain flavour, crumpets, bread, some types of rice, certain chocolate, milk, Yorkshire puddings) there’s a few more but as you can see limited. We have tried so many different ways to entice him I would be grateful if you could give me any tips.

Feels like I am going on now, the list goes on his sensory issues really do dictate to him and us how the day goes sometimes, and he is becoming more and more aware of his stims and repetitive behaviour today its clapping and repeating words it was a machine gun noise (constantly)and random moves it varies from day. I feel I need more guidance in how to help/support Brandon. The melt downs are becoming more and more but he only does this with his dad I have a calming effect as soon as he starts in melt down they pretty much calm after I’ve been around him a few minutes. The routines he has etc seem to help a lot too.

If you can pull anything out of this letter and feedback I would be grateful there will be things I have missed but feel free to ask me any further questions. He also as 3 older step siblings 15, 19, 21 and they are very loving and supportive with him and very understanding. He as a great relationship with all of us in our family unit. Feels like the outside world is a daunting prospect right now.

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ASD Teenagers and "Homework-Related" Meltdowns: Tips for Frustrated Parents

“My 14 yr. old daughter with ASD (level 1) basically refuses to do her homework. It’s a daily struggle that results in meltdown. Desperate ...please help! Any advice will be greatly appreciated.”

As most parents already know, ASD level 1, or High Functioning Autism (HFA), disrupts the youngster’s academic abilities in multiple areas (e.g., a lowered tolerance for new situations or sudden transitions, lack of organizational skills, inconsistent energy levels, high distractibility, excessive interest in only one or two subjects to the exclusion of all others, etc.). 

All of these can present challenges when attempting to complete homework. Fortunately, there are some basic strategies that moms and dads can undertake to help prevent those dreaded evening meltdowns related to homework.

Let’s look at some specific strategies to help your HFA teenager follow through with completing homework…

1. Break-Down Large Assignments— Since some homework assignments can be overwhelming for kids with HFA, parents may need to work closely with their youngster to help her get started. Providing one or two examples may be all that is required in some cases. For more complicated work, moms and dads may want to demonstrate how to break it down into smaller steps. This added attention may be needed for each unfamiliar assignment.

2. Eliminate Vagueness— Some assignments may be unclear to the child (and even to parents). If this happens often, it would be best for you to communicate with the teacher about your youngster’s needs. Receiving more detailed instructions for upcoming assignments will go a long way to ensuring that homework gets done correctly and without meltdowns. The key is to get the information ahead of time so that your youngster can be prepared for – not surprised with – an unknown.

3.  Establish Consistent Time and Place— Observe your youngster and see what hinders her from completing her work. This is paramount to planning homework sessions. During these observations, jot down answers to the following questions about your youngster: Does she fatigue quickly? Is she easily distracted by noise or activity? What frustrates or upsets her? What is her best time of day?

After observing your youngster for a few days, establish a consistent time for homework, preferably when she is well fed, rested and at her best. The amount of time she spends on homework nightly will vary by grade level. When homework length begins to increase, she may stay more focused with short breaks. Incorporate these into the schedule and make sure she has enough time to complete assignments without rushing. It’s also helpful to have a special homework location away from the TV, radio, or other distractions. In addition, kids with HFA can be frustrated by clutter, so make sure that the workspace is organized and that all necessary materials for homework are available and easy to find.

4. Incorporate Interests— A unique quality of high functioning kids on the autism spectrum is that they can develop abnormally intense interests in one or two subjects (e.g., weather, sports statistics, computers, etc.). Using a little ingenuity, moms and dads can persuade the youngster to do seemingly unrelated work by integrating her interests. For example, kids fascinated by computers may be encouraged to complete writing assignments using an online dictionary. Kids who have nightly reading requirements could be allowed to choose books that are related to weather, dinosaurs, or other science topics of interest. If the youngster seems to dislike math, create word problems for practicing addition, subtraction, and multiplication using subjects such as baseball or cars.

5. Provide Daily Routine in Other Areas of the Child’s Life— Homework can be easier for kids on the spectrum when they are already used to a lot of structured, daily routines. A child who has developed the habit of feeding the dog every day immediately after school, for example, will be more likely to do homework every day immediately after dinner. Getting started with a highly-structured daily routine when the child is young goes a long way in avoiding "homework battles" during adolescence.

Kids with HFA possess unique skills and can grow to be highly productive, thriving members of society. But, like everyone, they face their own set of challenges along the way. Homework may be one of those challenges. With careful planning however, moms and dads can make this necessary and important chore less problematic and help to pave their youngster’s way to academic success.


COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said… Does she have an IEP or 504? Does she really need the homework to keep up on grades? You could request shortened or no homework, or time for her to do it in school.
•    Anonymous said… Hi, my Son doesn't like Monday's finds it hard and often spikes his anxiety. I have now told him that we have 'no homework Monday's' which has elieviated Meltdowns from school. Monday evenings are more for arts and crafts and leggo. But he knows Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays are homework days for Math, Eng and Reading. It seems to be working. I think it's about placing a compromise and balance which will engage and help your child. Hope this helps
•    Anonymous said… I arranged with the school to only have maximum 30 min of homework a night...then put a visual timer on so she knows how long she has to do her homework! Helps a lot!
•    Anonymous said… I don't know how we got to the point where he goes and get it done other than living through the tantrums. He would be grounded from his tablet and electrons. We tried to focus him on goals, cillege, what he wants to be and that it has to get done. It's okay to not like it but it has to get done. It's been a very rough 2 years but seeing an improvement this year most days....not all
•    Anonymous said… I have Asperger's myself and I have specific interests like certain kinds of music. If I were your daughter and I refused to do my homework, you could forbid me to listen to any music and I would do my homework then. It's the motivation that you'll get things you desire if the important work gets done first. Hope that helps!
•    Anonymous said… I think exemptions should only be used as a last resort. They have to learn that you have to do things you don't like. It's a part of life. Believe me I have lived the tantrums the screaming the crying the throwing things the hitting the I hate you your ruining my life. It's he'll but they have to learn and grow and hw is part of it
•    Anonymous said… School is 6 hours a day 5 days a week. Each to their own. My son is doing really well at school therefore we don't need to go through unnecessary meltdowns etc. We pick our battles and at this point we are happy he goes to school.
•    Anonymous said… Thanks for the article, very interesting.

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Is it ASD, ADHD, or Both?

"My 6-year-old son was diagnosed with ADHD at age 5. But now we are seeing signs that he may have 'high functioning' autism. What percentage of ADHD children also have autism? Is a dual diagnosis common?"

Most kids with ASD level 1 (high functioning autism) don’t receive that diagnosis until after age 6. Usually, they are diagnosed with ADHD as toddlers. Part of the reason is that physicians routinely screen kids for ADHD but not for autism. 
 
Another reason is that an ASD child's social impairment becomes more evident once he starts school. Finally, physicians are reluctant to label a youngster "autistic." It is okay - and even a badge of honor - to have a hyperactive youngster, but it is another thing entirely to have an autistic youngster.

Physicians make their diagnoses based on the youngster’s behaviors. Since kids with ADHD and ASD share similar behaviors, the two can appear to overlap. However, there is a fundamental difference between the two. For example:
  • An autistic child can appear unfocused, forgetful and disorganized like a youngster with ADHD, but there is a difference. The ADD youngster is easily distracted. The ASD child has no "filter."
  • Autistic children don’t understand that relationships are two-sided. If an ASD child talks on and on in an unmodulated voice about his particular interest, he simply does not understand that he is boring his friend and showing disinterest in his friend's side of the conversation. On the other hand, the youngster with ADHD can’t control himself from dominating the conversation.
  • Autistic children lack what physicians call "social reciprocity" or Theory of Mind. Theory of Mind is "the capacity to understand that other people have thoughts, feelings, motivations and desires that are different from our own." Kids with ADHD have a Theory of Mind and understand other people's motives and expectations. They make appropriate eye contact and understand social cues, body language and hidden agendas in social interactions. ASD children can’t.
  • Autistic children tend to get anxious and stuck about small things and can’t see the "big picture." Kids with ADHD are not detailed-oriented.
  • Both have social difficulties, but for different reasons.
  • Both kinds of kids can tantrum, talk too loud and too much and have problems modulating their behaviors and making friends.
  • If the unfocused autistic child is "nowhere," the obsessive-compulsive and "fantasy" autistic  child is somewhere else. "Fantasy children" retreat into a world of their own making - a world where everything goes the way they want it to. They play video games for hours or retreat into books and music. Their daydreaming and fantasizing resembles the behaviors of non-hyperactive kids with ADHD.
  • Kids with ADHD respond to behavioral modification. With ASD, the disorder is the behavior.
  • Obsessive-compulsive ASD children live a world they create from rules and rituals. Like ADHD kids, they appear preoccupied and distracted, but for different reasons. They appear distracted because they are always thinking about their "rules” (e.g., Did I tie my shoelaces right? Did I brush my teeth for 120 seconds?).
  • The ADHD youngster understands the rules but lacks the self-control to follow them. The autistic child does not understand the rules.
  • The autistic child views everything in her environment as equally important. Her teacher's dangling earring is as important as what she writes on the blackboard. The ASD child does not understand that she does not have to memorize the entire textbook for the next test. She does not "get" such rules.
  • The youngster with ADHD knows what to do, but forgets to do it. ASD children don’t know what to do.

Some researchers estimate that 60% to 70% of ASD-Level 1 children also have ADHD, which they consider a common comorbidity of ASD. Other researchers say that the two can’t exist together. Still others insist physicians have it all wrong and that the two disorders are the same.

The real problem is that there is no hard science. No one knows exactly how slight imperfections in brain structure and chemistry cause such problems. For this reason, getting the right diagnosis for a youngster who exhibits behavior problems may take years of trial and error. Diagnosis is based on observation of behaviors that are similar for a myriad of disorders. 

The tragedy is that the youngster often does not receive the correct medications, educational strategies, and behavioral modification techniques that could help him function on a higher level. He falls farther behind his peer group and loses ground when he could be getting appropriate treatments.


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said… fabulous info! thank you....
•    Anonymous said… Great article, thanks!
•    Anonymous said… My son haznt got any speech delays but shows every sympton of aspie but they wont diagnose him they wana diagnose him wid adhd an attachment disorder cus he waz poorly when a babie im still thinkin aspergers thow
•    Anonymous said… My son is 11 and still officially 'undiagnosed'!!!
•    Anonymous said… my son was diagnosed smack bang on the age of 6 ... no speech delay for this man . cant shut him up since the age of one !!! but other things make sense now . hes nearly seven :)
•    Anonymous said… My son was diagnosed with autism at 3. He is now 11 and presents as a child with Aspergers but at 3 there was speech delay.
•    Anonymous said… My son was just diagnosed at 7... at three he was diagnosed with speech delay anxeity disorder and ocd....
•    Anonymous said… the doctor that diagnosed my daughter said the only difference between asperger's and high functioning autism is the speech delays in the early years 
•    Anonymous said... Adhd n add will never be on the spectrum. Add n adhd are commonly diagnosed with Aspergers because some of the "symptoms" are in both. Sensory issues are in almost every child with an ASD.
•    Anonymous said... I have 2 with adhd and one with asd. While a few of the symptoms are the same, and a child can have both, I could not imagine add or adhd being on the spectrum in any way ever.
•    Anonymous said... My son has asbergers adhd ocd and generalized anxiety disorder
•    Anonymous said... They are talking about putting ADD and ADHD on the spectrum, so your question is yes. Going to share your page.
•    Anonymous said... yes my son was diagnosed with adhd when he started school but he always had the aspergers tendencies. he has been re diagnosed as adhd-asd-aspergers syndrome.
•    Anonymous said… I agree. My 15 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD at 5 but wasn't given a formal diagnosis of Aspergers till he was 9. One of the reasons for the delay was other cases where the disability was evident took precedent. Unfortunately, in cases such as Autism or FASD where the disability is "invisible" or intangible, individuals are more often than not last priority in psychological assessments in school.
•    Anonymous said… I've had a lot of anger towards the specialists who were a part of diagnosing my son with ADHD when he was 5. I always knew it wasn't the answer, and sought help from different sources (pediatrician, school special education team, therapists...) only to feel like I was going crazy because I was the only one who didn't want to medicate him for ADD. Four (long and tough) years later, we're in the process of an autism assessment. The more I read about the spectrum, the more I feel that it's so blatantly obvious that autism symptoms are what have been ailing him and causing his issues at school for so long; and it has made me angry that those specialists (who should be familiar enough with those symptoms) didn't see it or suggest it 4 years ago. This article helped me come to peace with that a little bit. I still find it strange that doctors routinely screen for ADHD over autism, and I think it's because there is medication for ADHD, a quick fix, where ASD takes a lot more time/resources/intervention.
•    Anonymous said… Very common to have both diagnosis. Actually, having only Aspergers is more rare. Aspies usually have a second diagnosis of ADHD, depression, or OCD according to what I have read and seen. My son was diagnosed ADHD at 3 1/2. At that time he was also tested for ASD, but not diagnosed. Within 2 years, he had changed quite a bit, and it then became evident that he also had Aspergers.
•    Anonymous said… Yes, there can be a dual diagnoses. I have a triple one. In our case, it is all evident and true. Asperger's and ADHD. The third one is a attachment/ bonding disorder. All are clearly right on point 100%. Some do not like to diagnose so quick. It is a process that may require a couple of opinions.

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