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Handling Aggressive Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder: An In-Depth Guide

Navigating the tumultuous waters of adolescence is challenging for any teenager, but it can be particularly daunting for those with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Aggressive behaviors may surface during this critical developmental phase for a variety of reasons, including difficulties in communication, sensory overload, significant changes in routine, and struggles with emotional regulation. 

Understanding the roots of these aggressive tendencies and developing practical strategies to manage them can create a more harmonious environment for both teens and their families. Below is a comprehensive guide designed to assist parents, caregivers, and educators in addressing aggression in teens with ASD.

Understanding the Roots of Aggression: The Key to Empowerment

To effectively address aggressive outbursts, it’s crucial to identify and understand their underlying triggers:

1. **Communication Barriers**: Teens with ASD often experience challenges in articulating their feelings or needs verbally. This communication gap can lead to intense frustration and, ultimately, aggressive outbursts when they feel unheard or misunderstood.

2. **Sensory Sensitivities**: Many individuals on the autism spectrum possess heightened sensitivity to sensory stimuli. For instance, overwhelming lights, loud noises, or crowded settings can lead to sensory overload, pushing them to react aggressively as a means of coping with discomfort.

3. **Changes in Routine**: Adolescents with ASD typically thrive on predictability and routine; thus, unexpected changes—like a switch in school schedules, family dynamics, or even meal times—can provoke anxiety and lead to aggressive behaviors as a reaction to confusion or insecurity.

4. **Emotional Regulation**: Many teens on the spectrum find it challenging to recognize, interpret, and manage their emotions effectively. This difficulty often results in intense emotional responses in situations perceived as threatening or distressing.

5. **Social Interaction Challenges**: Misinterpretations in social situations can lead to feelings of exclusion or irritation. A misunderstanding on the playground or in the classroom can escalate quickly into aggressive actions stemming from frustration or anxiety about social interactions.

#### Strategies for Prevention and Management

1. **Create a Predictable Environment**:
   - **Establish Consistent Routines**: Implement daily schedules that are consistent and predictable. Utilize visual schedules with clear timeframes and activities to help the teen anticipate what comes next, reducing anxiety and uncertainty.
   - **Prepare for Changes**: When changes are unavoidable, take the time to prepare the teen. Use social stories—short narratives that describe a situation and appropriate responses—to help them understand and anticipate the adjustments.

2. **Enhance Communication Skills**:
   - **Alternative Communication Tools**: Invest in communication aids such as picture exchange communication systems (PECS) or mobile applications designed for non-verbal communication, which can empower the teen to express needs and feelings more effectively.
   - **Teach Emotion Recognition**: Utilize tools like emotion wheels or feelings charts to help the teen identify and name their emotions. Engage in role-playing scenarios to practice expressing these emotions in a safe and constructive manner.

3. **Develop Coping Strategies**:
   - **Introduce Relaxation Techniques**: Teach the teen various stress-relief practices, such as deep breathing exercises, guided imagery, or progressive muscle relaxation, which can help them calm down when they feel frustration mounting.
   - **Designate a Calming Space**: Create a "calm-down corner" equipped with sensory-friendly items like fidget toys, noise-canceling headphones, and weighted blankets. This designated space should be a safe retreat where the teen can go to de-escalate their feelings.

4. **Implement Positive Behavior Supports**:
   - **Reinforce Positive Behavior**: Focus on and encourage appropriate behavior by utilizing positive reinforcement techniques. For instance, a token economy system that rewards positive actions can significantly motivate a teen to adhere to expected behaviors.
   - **Establish Clear Expectations and Consequences**: Clearly lay out what behaviors are expected and what the consequences will be for aggressive actions. Consistency in applying these guidelines will help the teen understand boundaries.

5. **Teach Problem-Solving Skills**:
   - **Engage in Role-Playing Exercises**: Conduct role-playing exercises to practice responses to potential triggers or frustrating situations, giving the teen tools to handle conflicts more effectively.
   - **Create a “Calm-Down” Plan**: Collaboratively develop a personalized plan with the teen that outlines specific steps to take when they feel overwhelmed, including identifying preferred coping strategies they can turn to.

6. **Seek Professional Guidance**:
   - **Consider Behavioral Therapy**: Engaging a therapist who specializes in ASD can provide tailored strategies to help manage aggression. Therapeutic approaches like Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) can be particularly effective.
   - **Consult for Medication if Necessary**: For cases where anxiety or mood disorders severely impact behavior, consult with a psychiatrist experienced with ASD. Medication might support better emotional regulation, thus reducing aggressive episodes.

7. **Engage in Family Support**:
   - **Participate in Parent Training Programs**: Enroll in programs designed to educate parents on effective management strategies for challenging behaviors associated with ASD, equipping them with coping mechanisms.
   - **Join Support Groups**: Connecting with support groups can provide valuable opportunities for sharing experiences, offering insights, and fostering a sense of community among families facing similar struggles.

8. **Foster Social Skills Development**:
   - **Enroll in Social Skills Training**: Enrich the teen's social competence by introducing them to social skills groups where they can practice interactions in a structured environment, promoting effective communication and relationship-building.
   - **Facilitate Peer Relationships**: Encourage the formation of friendships by organizing activities that allow the teen to interact with peers who share similar interests, ensuring these experiences are positive and constructive.

#### When Aggression Occurs

In the unfortunate event of an aggressive outburst, it is essential to respond appropriately, keeping both the teen and others safe:

- **Stay Calm**: Your composure can significantly influence the situation. Use a soothing tone and body language to reassure the teen while maintaining a calm demeanor.
- **Ensure Safety**: Assess the environment to ensure everyone’s safety, removing any objects that could be used to cause harm during the outburst.
- **De-Escalate the Situation**: Implement de-escalation techniques, such as creating physical distance if needed, softly redirecting their focus, or guiding them to their calming area to promote tranquility.
- **Reflect Post-Incident**: After the situation has calmed down, engage the teen in a discussion about what triggered the aggressive behavior. Focus on identifying key triggers and brainstorming effective responses or coping mechanisms for the future.

Managing aggressive behaviors in teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder requires a thoughtful, multifaceted approach grounded in empathy, understanding, and structured support strategies. By enhancing communication, creating predictable environments, and teaching effective coping mechanisms, parents and caregivers can empower their teens to navigate the complexities of adolescence with greater confidence and resilience. 

Education and ongoing support are invaluable—not only for the individuals with ASD but also for their families. Through the implementation of these strategies, challenging behaviors can be transformed into profound opportunities for personal growth, emotional connections, and understanding.

 

 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here
to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...

Understanding Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder in Children with Autism

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a complex mental health condition that affects individuals of all ages, characterized by persistent, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors or mental acts (compulsions) that a person feels driven to perform. For children on the autism spectrum, navigating the dual challenges of OCD and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) can be particularly difficult. This article aims to provide an in-depth exploration of how OCD manifests in children with autism, approaches to treatment, and practical strategies for supporting these children and their families.

The Relationship Between Autism and OCD

Research indicates a significant correlation between ASD and OCD, with children with autism being at a notably higher risk of developing OCD than their neurotypical peers. While OCD can occur independently, many of its symptoms can be misinterpreted as traits of autism, making accurate diagnosis and treatment essential. For instance, both conditions can include rigid behaviors and an intense preference for routine—features commonly observed in children on the spectrum.

Detailed Examination of Symptoms

Children with autism who also experience OCD display a unique combination of symptoms that can complicate the clinical picture:

**1. Obsessions:**
Obsessive thoughts can take many forms; however, in children with autism, these obsessions often revolve around specific interests or themes. For instance, a child might develop an intense fear that something terrible will happen if they do not engage in a particular behavior, such as counting or checking objects repeatedly. These obsessions can disrupt the child’s ability to focus on schoolwork or enjoy play, leading to increased anxiety.

**2. Compulsions:**
Compulsive behaviors may appear similar to the repetitive actions typical in autism, such as hand-flapping or spinning objects. However, compulsions driven by OCD may manifest more urgently, such as needing to touch or arrange items in a particular order to alleviate the anxiety tied to their obsessive thoughts. Children might perform these rituals several times a day and may become very upset if they cannot complete them.

Key Signs of OCD in Children with Autism

Identifying OCD in children with autism requires careful observation to distinguish it from typical autistic behaviors. Some key signs that may indicate the presence of OCD include:

- **Heightened Distress:** A child may show significant emotional distress, such as crying or tantruming, if they feel they cannot perform their compulsive rituals, indicating a level of anxiety beyond typical discomfort.

- **Excessive Time Commitment:** OCD behaviors often require a considerable time commitment, typically defined as more than an hour a day. This can severely impede the child’s ability to participate in other essential activities, such as school, playdates, and family time.

- **Avoidance Behavior:** Children may strategically avoid situations that trigger their obsessions, which could include foregoing social gatherings or school events, further isolating them from peers and exacerbating their anxiety.

The Impact of OCD and Autism on Daily Life

The co-occurrence of OCD and autism has a profound impact on a child's daily functioning. The persistent anxiety and compulsive behaviors associated with OCD can hinder various aspects of life. Social interactions may become increasingly limited due to compulsive routines, and academic performance can decline as a child struggles to focus on tasks amid intrusive thoughts.

Additionally, families may experience increased stress as they strive to understand and support their child. Parents often feel overwhelmed navigating the challenges of dual diagnoses and may be unsure of how best to support their child practically and emotionally.

Diagnosis and Assessment

A meticulous evaluation process is crucial for diagnosing OCD in children on the autism spectrum. This evaluation typically includes:

- **Comprehensive Clinical Interviews:** Mental health professionals conduct in-depth interviews with caregivers, seeking to understand the child's thoughts, behaviors, and routines. This dialogue is crucial for distinguishing between OCD symptoms and autism-related behaviors.

- **Standardized Assessment Tools:** Specially designed instruments, such as the Children's Yale-Brown Obsessive-Compulsive Scale (CY-BOCS), facilitate a structured evaluation of OCD symptoms. These assessments gauge the severity and frequency of obsessions and compulsions.

- **Collaboration with Multiple Sources:** Engaging with teachers, therapists, and caregivers provides valuable insights into the child’s behaviors across different settings, enriching the overall assessment.

Treatment Approaches

**1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT):** CBT is highly effective for treating OCD and is particularly beneficial for children. This therapy focuses on helping children identify and alter negative thought patterns and behaviors. A specific subtype of CBT, known as Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), involves gradually exposing the child to anxiety-producing situations while teaching them to resist compulsive behaviors.

**2. Medication:** In some cases, particularly where symptoms are severe and impair functioning, medical intervention may be necessary. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are often prescribed to help regulate mood and reduce the intensity of OCD symptoms. Any medication protocol should be closely monitored by healthcare professionals familiar with the unique needs of children with autism.

**3. Parental Involvement and Family Therapy:** Involving parents in the therapeutic process can significantly enhance the effectiveness of treatment. Family therapy may provide a space for open communication, where family members can express their feelings and learn to support each other better.

Practical Strategies for Parents and Caregivers

Supporting a child with both autism and OCD requires a well-rounded approach characterized by empathy, understanding, and structure. Here are several practical strategies parents and caregivers can utilize:

- **Establish Clear Routines:** Maintaining a predictable daily schedule can offer a sense of security and help mitigate anxiety related to the unknown.

- **Gradual Exposure Techniques:** Parents can facilitate gradual exposure to anxiety-inducing situations in a safe and supportive manner, allowing the child to build confidence while developing coping mechanisms.

- **Encourage Open Communication:** Create an environment of trust where children feel safe discussing their thoughts and anxieties. This dialogue can help them verbalize their feelings and decrease the power of their obsessive thoughts.

- **Utilize Resources:** Numerous organizations provide resources, support groups, and educational materials to assist families in navigating the complexities of ASD and OCD. Connecting with these resources can offer additional strategies and emotional support.

OCD in children with autism presents a multifaceted challenge that requires careful understanding and tailored approaches to treatment. By recognizing the specific symptoms and impacts of both disorders, caregivers and mental health professionals can implement effective interventions that promote understanding and healing.

With appropriate therapeutic strategies, parental support, and a commitment to fostering an accepting and structured environment, children with autism and OCD can learn to manage their symptoms and lead fulfilling, meaningful lives. This journey requires patience, compassion, and collaboration among all parties involved, but with dedicated effort, positive outcomes are achievable for these children and their families.

 

 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here
to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...

The 5 Main Traits of ASD Level 1 (High-Functioning Autism)

ASD Level 1, also known as "high-functioning autism," is characterized by mild symptoms that may interfere with an individual's ability to function in social or occupational settings. Some common traits of ASD Level 1 include:

1.    Challenges in social interactions, such as difficulty with initiating or sustaining conversations, and struggles with understanding nonverbal communication cues like body language and facial expressions.

Difficulty in Understanding Social Cues—

One of the primary challenges individuals with autism face in social interactions is difficulty in understanding social cues. This includes non-verbal cues such as body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. As a result, they may struggle to interpret the emotions and intentions of others, making it challenging to engage in typical social interactions.

Trouble with Reciprocal Communication—

Individuals with autism often experience difficulties in engaging in reciprocal communication. They may struggle with initiating conversations, maintaining eye contact, or taking turns during a conversation. This can lead to social isolation and difficulties in forming meaningful relationships with peers.

Sensory Sensitivities—

Many individuals with autism have sensory sensitivities, which can impact their ability to engage in social interactions. Certain social environments may be overwhelming due to sensory stimuli such as loud noises, bright lights, or crowded spaces. This can lead to social withdrawal and avoidance of social situations.

Challenges in Understanding Social Norms—

Understanding and adhering to social norms can be challenging for individuals with autism. They may have difficulty grasping unwritten social rules, understanding personal space boundaries, or interpreting the nuances of social etiquette. This can lead to social misunderstandings and feelings of alienation.

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

Strategies for Supporting Individuals with Autism in Social Interactions—

Understanding the challenges faced by individuals with autism in social interactions is essential for creating an inclusive environment. Here are some strategies for supporting individuals with autism:

  • Providing clear and explicit communication
  • Creating structured social situations with clear expectations
  • Offering support for sensory sensitivities
  • Educating peers and community members about autism and promoting acceptance and understanding


2.    Repetitive behaviors or restricted interests, such as adherence to strict routines, intense focus on specific topics, or repetitive movements.


Repetitive behaviors in individuals with autism can manifest in different forms, including repetitive body movements such as hand-flapping or rocking, insistence on sameness and routines, and an intense focus on specific topics or objects. These behaviors often serve as a way for individuals with autism to cope with anxiety and sensory sensitivities. While repetitive behaviors can provide comfort and a sense of control, they can also interfere with daily functioning and social interaction.

Restricted interests refer to the intense, narrow focus that individuals with autism may develop on specific topics or activities. This might involve an encyclopedic knowledge of a particular subject, an obsession with collecting specific items, or a fixation on certain patterns or routines. While these interests can be a source of joy and expertise for individuals with autism, they can also limit their engagement in other activities and social interactions.

It's important to understand that repetitive behaviors and restricted interests are not necessarily negative aspects of autism. They are part of the individual's unique way of experiencing the world. However, they can present challenges in educational, occupational, and social settings. Understanding and accommodating these behaviors is crucial in supporting individuals with autism.

Therapies and interventions aimed at addressing repetitive behaviors and restricted interests in autism often focus on teaching alternative coping strategies, expanding interests, and promoting flexibility. Applied behavior analysis (ABA), cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and occupational therapy are some of the approaches used to help individuals manage these behaviors and develop broader areas of interest.

3.    Sensory sensitivities, which can manifest as heightened or reduced sensitivity to sensory input such as light, sound, touch, or taste.

Sensory sensitivities refer to heightened reactions to sensory stimuli such as sound, touch, taste, smell, and sight. For individuals with autism, these sensitivities can manifest in different ways. Some individuals may be hypersensitive to certain stimuli, while others may be hyposensitive, meaning they seek out more sensory input to feel stimulated. This can result in distress, discomfort, or sensory overload, making it challenging for individuals with autism to navigate their surroundings.

It's important to recognize that sensory sensitivities are not simply preferences or aversions; they are fundamental to how individuals with autism experience the world. For example, a seemingly harmless sound, such as the buzzing of fluorescent lights, could be excruciatingly overwhelming for someone with sensory sensitivities. Similarly, certain textures of clothing or unexpected touch can cause extreme discomfort.

==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Supporting individuals with autism and sensory sensitivities involves creating an environment that minimizes sensory triggers and provides coping strategies. Here are some approaches that can be beneficial:

•    Sensory-Friendly Spaces: Designing environments with consideration for sensory sensitivities can greatly improve the well-being of individuals with autism. This may involve using soft lighting, minimizing background noise, and offering sensory-friendly seating options.


•    Sensory Diet: Developing a "sensory diet" involves identifying specific sensory activities that help regulate an individual's sensory system. This could include activities like deep pressure input, fidget toys, or sensory breaks to prevent sensory overload.


•    Communication and Advocacy: Encouraging open communication and understanding of individual sensory needs is crucial. Individuals with autism should feel empowered to express their sensory challenges and preferences, and others should be receptive and accommodating.


•    Education and Awareness: Increasing awareness and understanding of sensory sensitivities associated with autism within the wider community can lead to greater empathy and support for individuals with autism.

By recognizing and addressing sensory sensitivities, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment for individuals with autism.

4.    Difficulties with transitioning or adapting to change, leading to anxiety or distress in situations that deviate from familiar routines.

For individuals with autism, maintaining a predictable routine can provide a sense of security and stability. Any deviation from the routine or unexpected changes can lead to distress and anxiety. This can be particularly challenging in settings such as school or work, where schedules and expectations may vary.

Social transitions can also pose challenges for individuals with autism. Meeting new people, navigating social gatherings, or adjusting to changes in relationships can be overwhelming. The unspoken rules of social interactions can be difficult for individuals with autism to understand, making it hard for them to adapt to new social situations.

Environmental changes, such as moving to a new house or experiencing a change in sensory input, can also be overwhelming for individuals with autism. Sensory sensitivities are common among people with autism, and changes in sensory input can lead to discomfort or distress.

So, how can we support individuals with autism in transitioning and adapting to change? One approach is to provide clear and consistent communication about any upcoming changes. This can help individuals prepare for the transition and reduce anxiety. Visual supports, such as schedules and social stories, can also be helpful in explaining upcoming changes and what to expect.

Creating structured transitions and providing ample time for individuals to adjust to change can also be beneficial. Gradual exposure to new situations or environments, along with positive reinforcement, can help individuals with autism build confidence and develop coping strategies for managing change.

==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

5.    Strong preference for solitude or solitary activities, and a tendency to feel overwhelmed or drained by social interactions.

Individuals with autism often exhibit a strong inclination towards solitary activities and may find comfort and solace in being alone. This preference for solitude can manifest in various ways, such as seeking out solitary hobbies, engaging in repetitive behaviors in isolation, or withdrawing from social interactions.

It's important to recognize that not all individuals with autism display the same patterns of behavior, and preferences for solitude can vary widely among those on the autism spectrum. For some individuals, solitary activities may provide a sense of calm and predictability in a world that can often feel overwhelming and chaotic. Engaging in solitary pursuits may serve as a coping mechanism, allowing individuals with autism to regulate their sensory experiences and reduce feelings of anxiety or distress.

However, it's crucial to approach the strong preference for solitude in the context of individual differences and personal preferences. While some individuals with autism may find solace in being alone, others may desire social connections but struggle to navigate the complexities of interpersonal interactions. Understanding and respecting these differences is essential in providing support and creating inclusive environments for individuals with autism.

Moreover, the strong preference for solitude in individuals with autism should not be misconstrued as a lack of interest in social connections or relationships. Many individuals with autism value meaningful connections and friendships, but may face challenges in initiating and maintaining social interactions. By promoting understanding and acceptance, we can help create opportunities for individuals with autism to engage in social activities on their own terms, while also respecting their need for solitude when necessary.

It's important to note that each individual with ASD Level 1 may experience a unique combination of these traits, and the severity of symptoms can vary widely. Additionally, individuals with ASD Level 1 often have strengths as well, such as exceptional attention to detail, proficiency in specific areas of interest, and the ability to think in a logical, systematic manner.


 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here
to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...



Autism Spectrum Disorder and ADHD

Question

"My soon to be 12 year old has ADHD. But now we are suspecting ASD level 1. We wonder if it could be one or the other - or both. Is this possible? How can we tell the difference? He and I butt heads because he will not stay on task for chores unless I stand over him, and even then can't seem to get it together. He gets angry if asked/told he needs to do chores. And no, none of them are that hard, and he will admit that after a long painful, drawn out affair."

Answer

Clear cut boundaries exist between ADHD and ASD level 1 (High-Functioning Autism), though the two are sometimes linked. Some members of the medical establishment see them as existing simultaneously in one person, whereas others say that is impossible. The truth is that there is no agreement on the two issues.

It's true that ASD and ADHD share certain commonalities, but the causal factors are far different. For example, individuals with each may talk too loudly or too much, neither can regulate behavior, and both can be social misfits. But, the "why" behind those issues is where the dissimilarities come in.

Individuals with ADHD know what they need to do and just forget to do it, but individuals with ASD don't know what to do. They have no idea that personal relationships are two-sided, because they see the world as existing for - and about - them. But there are other issues aside from the social where the two disorders seemingly coincide, but are driven by dissimilar mental processes.

Though individuals with ASD can appear to be disorganized and forgetful, it's because they concentrate on everything around them. No aspect of their environment is more important than another.

So, whereas individuals with ADHD may be distracted by a fly on the wall in the classroom, someone with ASD may feel that the fly is as important to study as what the teacher is saying. They tend to focus on insignificant issues, without meaning, and they don't understand rules. ADHD individuals understand them – they just have no mechanism for following them to the letter.

ASD can take different forms, as well. Some children live in a fantasy world of their own making. In that world, everything goes just the way they want it to all the time. There's nothing wrong with being a character in a book, for instance, and dressing in costume all the time.

Obsessive-compulsive ASD individuals make a world of rules and rituals for themselves, and follow each of those to the letter. They may appear to be distracted like individuals with ADD, but they're actually obsessing (e.g., on how many times they turned the faucet on and off or how many minutes they brushed their teeth).

These similarities make it hard for doctors to properly diagnose ASD early in a youngster's life, and they may be misdiagnosed with ADHD. It's not until the youngster reaches school age that they show the symptoms of social inadequacy.

ASD sufferers have no idea that other individuals have thoughts, feelings, and motivations unlike their own. This isn't true of individuals with ADD, who know they shouldn't speak out of turn, but just can't help it.

Finding proper help for an ASD youngster is very important. Diagnosis, though, may take years of trial and error, which makes starting treatment early very important. With the proper help, kids with ASD can live a much fuller life than without it.
 
 


 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
----------
 
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here
to read the full article...

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
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A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...

 
 
COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said… All of mine, bar the toddler (too young to tell) have diagnosis of both.
•    Anonymous said… I know that ADHD can often be a differential diagnosis with ASD, or a concurrent one with ASD
•    Anonymous said… Kids with ADHD and ASD suffer from executive functioning issues. Being told to clean up is so overwhelming that they just do not know or understand where to start. They don't think, okay I will just start over in this corner, they think where do i start, I can't do this and consequently then don't do it. You have to show them specifically the tasks and break them into smaller parts. Getting angry is natural because the task evokes a feeling of frustration and fear. My son has aspergers and ADHD, yes they are comorbid and are diagnosed together and yes, life is very difficult with such a child. But with your help and guidance, they will be able to succeed.
•    Anonymous said… Mine is both ADHD and ASD. What you describe sounds more of an ASD behaviour.
•    Anonymous said… My 21yr old son is ASD, SPD, diagnosed two yrs ago, I've been at him to clean up his room (sanctuary away from overwhelming people and other stuff), for years now. There have been times where I've gone in there and cleaned out where he won't look/think to look...and I've gotten away with it. Lol but this week..he wanted new speakers to play his music.....so I took him to get them...then he wanted tubs to put stuff in and store....but I had no idea, the extent that he would go to later on. He gutted his room, vacuumed it, removed furniture, rearranged his room and now it's less cluttered. I knew the cleaning day would come...but this was monumental. He said he didn't realise how much stuff was in his room till he started moving things out. He's proud of himself...I am too...but the dishes I asked him to put away two days ago are still in the dish rack and the bin is still out the front waiting to be brought in. Executive disfunction...yep!
•    Anonymous said… My son has aspergers and ADHD. He struggles to concentrate and constant fidgetting and moving ( he bounces)
•    Anonymous said… Our son is also ADHD and on the Spectrum. We deal daily with him being overwhelmed and angry... always trying to help him to stay on task. I feel like I could be a terrorist negotiator as my son will try to keep us hostage with his behavior. Oh yes, I've negotiated through the biggest toughest meltdowns you've ever seen and have won my son's heart...because I keep our expectations high for him. Always helping him stive to accomplish the hard stuff and rewarding when and where we can. There are good days and very hard days with our Aspie...but that's what you do as a parent. Many of us here know that it's not easy parenting children with ADHD/ASD, but just know you can do it! My biggest hurdle has been asking for help...but have found it necessary in order to survive. I don't know why I am saying all of this...but I feel there are parents going through some hard times right now and you feel like giving up, but be encouraged. God chose you for this special assignment and he's equipped you with everything you need; emotionally, financially, and spiritually. You can do this! May God's peace be with you.
 
*    Anonymous said... I've got one (maybe two) of the Kids with both ADHD and Apserger's. It is tough to make the call between willfulness, distractability and insufficient knowledge and practice to do the chores correctly. I have started making very specific lists of the steps or mini-tasks needed to complete each household chore on their lists. This gives each a concrete, written set of instructions so that each can double check their own work. When a kid tells me that the task is complete I ask them to check the list. Often I will hear "Oops forgot that one." from the other room and then whichever one is doing the chore will then complete the task without my direct help. I wish I could say that I thought of this years ago but I only came up with these lists as my older one is getting ready to graduate from high school. He is going to need some way to help him remember all of the myriad of household tasks if he is to eventually live on his own. I looked all over for detailed checklists for household chores and didn't find much so I started making my own. They need to be very specific and written very clearly to be used independently. Good luck.

School Refusal in Children with ASD

Question

What do you do if your 9 year old with high functioning autism is refusing to go to school ever again? Do I take her kicking and screaming? Home-school? What?

Answer

Some ASD (high-functioning autistic) kids experience fear or panic when they think about going to school in the morning. These kids may tell their moms and dads that they feel nauseous or have a headache, or may exaggerate minor physical complaints as an excuse not to go to school. 
 
When the ASD youngster or teen exhibits a developmentally inappropriate and excessive anxiety concerning separation from their home or from those to whom they are attached, they may be experiencing a Separation Anxiety Disorder. Separation Anxiety Disorder is characterized by the youngster exhibiting three or more of the following for a period of more than four weeks:
  1. persistent and excessive worry about losing, or about possible harm befalling, major attachment figures
  2. persistent and excessive worry that an untoward event will lead to separation from a major attachment figure (e.g., getting lost or being kidnapped)
  3. persistent reluctance or refusal to go to school or elsewhere because of fear of separation
  4. persistent reluctance or refusal to go to sleep without being near a major attachment figure or to sleep away from home
  5. persistently and excessively fearful or reluctant to be alone or without major attachment figures at home or without significant adults in other settings
  6. recurrent excessive distress when separation from home or major attachment figures occurs or is anticipated
  7. repeated complaints of physical symptoms (such as headaches, stomachaches, nausea, or vomiting) when separation from major attachment figures occurs or is anticipated
  8. repeated nightmares involving the theme of separation

 
In addition to the symptoms described above, ASD kids with an unreasonable fear of school may also:
  • display clinging behavior
  • fear being alone in the dark
  • feel unsafe staying in a room by themselves and frequently go check to find their parent or have a need to be able to see their parent (e.g., a teenager in a shopping mall who feels a lot of distress if they can't always see their parent may be exhibiting a symptom of separation anxiety)
  • have difficulty going to sleep
  • have exaggerated, unrealistic fears of animals, monster, burglars
  • have nightmares about being separated from their parent(s)
  • have severe tantrums when forced to go to school

School Refusal Warning Signs—

While one student may complain of headaches or stomachaches, another may refuse to get out of bed, while a third repeatedly gets "sick" and calls home during the school day. Symptoms can run the gamut and may even include combinations of behaviors. Here are some typical warning signs that an autistic youngster is suffering from school refusal disorder:

• Anxiety or panic attacks
• Depression
• Drug/alcohol use
• Failing grades
• Fatigue
• Frequent physical complaints such as headaches, stomachaches
• Physical aggression or threats
• Risk-taking behavior
• Social problems

Many symptoms, particularly physical complaints, can mimic other disorders. When these occur in combination with a pattern of not attending school, a complete evaluation should be made by qualified professionals to determine whether a student has school refusal disorder or another psychological or possibly even a physical disorder.

Separation Anxiety Disorder can be exhausting and frustrating for the moms and dads to deal with, but it is worse for the autistic youngster who feels such intense fear and discomfort about going to school. If moms and dads are unable to get the youngster to school, the youngster may develop serious educational, emotional, and social problems. 
 

Because the anxiety is about separating from the parent (or attachment object), once the youngster or teen gets to school, they usually calm down and are OK. It's getting them there that is the real challenge.

School avoidance or school refusal may serve different functions in different kids or teenagers. For some ASD kids or teens, it may be the avoidance of specific fears or phobias triggered in the school setting (e.g., fear of school bathrooms due to contamination fears associated with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, fear of test-taking). For other kids or teenagers, it may serve to help them avoid or escape negative social situations (e.g., being bullied by peers, being teased , or having a very critical teacher).

When school refusal is anxiety-related, allowing the "special needs" youngster to stay home only worsens the symptoms over time, and getting the youngster back into school as quickly as possible is one of the factors that is associated with more positive outcomes. To do that, however, requires a multimodal approach that involves the student's physician, a mental health professional, the moms and dads, the student, and the school team. 
 
The same therapeutic modalities that are effective with Panic Disorder and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder are also effective for school refusal, namely, exposure-response prevention (a form of cognitive-behavior therapy that may include relaxation training, cognitive alterations, and a graded hierarchy of steps towards the goal).

There is some research that suggests that education support therapy may be as effective as exposure therapy for treating school refusal. Working with the school psychologist, the student talks about their fears and is educated in the differences between fear, anxiety, and phobias. They learn to recognize the physical symptoms that are associated with each of these states and are given information to help them overcome their fears about attending school. 
 
The student is usually asked to keep a daily diary where they record their fears, thoughts (cognitions), strategies, and feelings about going to school. The time of day that they arrived at school is also recorded, and the record is reviewed each morning with the school psychologist. Although it might seem like a good idea to incorporate positive reinforcement for school attendance, that may backfire and merely increase the student's stress levels and anxiety. 
 

Parent training in strategies to work with the youngster in the home is also an important piece of any school-based plan to deal with the student with school refusal.

When it comes to school refusal, accommodating the youngster by letting them stay home is generally contraindicated, unless there are other issues. So what can moms and dads do? Here are some tips:

• A youngster's reluctance to go to school can be irritating to moms and dads. Expressing resentment and anger is counterproductive. And you won't feel the urge to do so if you adopt specific strategies to assist your youngster.

• Be open to hearing about how your youngster feels. However, lengthy discussions about the youngster's problems are not always helpful and can be experienced as a burden by the youngster. The focus must always be that you want to help your youngster be free of worries and fears.

• Do not deny the youngster's anxiety or worries, but acknowledge them and reassure him/her. For example: "I know you're worried I won't be there to pick you up, but there's no reason to worry. I'll be there."

• Do not quiz your child about why s/he feels scared. The youngster often does not know why. By not being able to provide an explanation, in addition to being anxious, the youngster feels guilty about not making sense of what is happening. Better to acknowledge that the fears make no sense and that the child has to fight them.

• It is most important to tell the Aspergers youngster exactly what s/he is to expect. There should be no "tricks" or surprises. For example, a youngster may be told that he should try to stay in school for only one hour, but after the hour he is encouraged or asked to stay longer either by the school or parent. This will backfire. The youngster will eventually refuse future arrangements for fear that they will be modified arbitrarily. Part of being anxious is anxiety about the unknown and the “what if?”.

• Punishment does not work, but kind, consistent, rational pressure and encouragement do.

• Try to find ways to enable the Aspergers youngster to go to school. For example, a youngster is likely to feel reassured if times are set for him or her to call the mother from school. In extreme cases, mothers may stay with the youngster in school, but for a specified length of time which is gradually reduced.

 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here
to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...


 
COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said… Elizabeth Munoz. Try Wowbutter. It looks and tastes exactly like peanut butter but is 100% soya beans. It was made for school bans. My daughter can't tell the difference. And for me, the best thing ever (I developed an allergy after being pregnant!)
•    Anonymous said… Food is a major issue with kids I packed muly kids much everyday :)) that's what you have to do but depends on school cause he only liked pb and j sandwiches and the school wouldn't aloud penut butter so yes it a very difficult situation with food it sucks ://
•    Anonymous said… Food plays a huge part in upsetting my son and not wanting to go in he is only six of friends run off and don't wait for him to go in for lunch he doesn't go in and it's gone un noticed by dinner ladies !!thats a long time to go without food:( breaks my heart ,if I brought him home for lunch I wouldn't get him back in and he struggles with being different and standing out !difficult situation!!
•    Anonymous said… I had no choice, she wasn't kicking and screaming but her mental health wasn't right, we were abroad, since then I've worked with children and have a better understanding of myself and others with autism. We used to have units attached to schools (Weymouth had one) they were brilliant with good teachers and teaching assistants and environmental was geared to needs. That's what we need, we need to be allowed to decide main stream isn't always the way.
•    Anonymous said… I had this problem with my son, who has HFA, a couple of years ago. In the end I had to make the decision to keep him home, untill a meetting was set up with school and health care professionals, to decide how to proceed for his best interests. The reason being, he has autism related food refusal, and during the time he was do distressed about going to school, his food refusal got so bad that he started losing weight and became iron deficient. It took 2 years to finally get him settled and happy at school.
•    Anonymous said… I spent nearly EVERY day of my sin's first grade year with him refusing to go to school. The school told me he'd have to go to "truancy school", with kids from junior high! I completely freaked out and fought back, but basically we just struggled through the miserable year. Second grade was better--his teacher was AMAZING! Made all the difference.
•    Anonymous said… In my experience, you can only take them 'kicking and screaming' for so long before it takes its toll on the physical and emotional health of everyone involved. It might be helpful to keep in mind that behavior IS communication. Even for kids with this school refusal disorder, they aren't doing this just to make our lives miserable. Sometimes the school setting or routine just doesn't work for every child. Thankfully there are plenty of alternative schooling options these days!
•    Anonymous said… My sons school is great with the food issue. They always make sure he has something for lunch that he will eat. The problem was, he didn't transition very well from daycare to school, (I live in Sweden). When he first started he was fine. But three months in, he could no longer hold it together and the big change took it's toll, and he almost stopped eating all together, and ended up on specially prescribed drinks.
•    Anonymous said… No. Don't take her kicking and screaming. Find out why the child doesn't want to go. Wish I had done this with my older son back about 15 yrs. ago. Now I homeschool my youngest. Something I really wished I had done with my middle son.
•    Anonymous said… There can be all kinds of reasons why children on the spectrum suffer at school, from communication problems (and that covers everything from feeling bullied to not having a clue what is happening in class or what is required of them) to sensory overload. The drip drip of fear, anxiety and confusion may not even come out in meltdowns at school. Schools frequently refuse to understand or make even the simplist of accomodations. Forcing human beings into a situation detrimental to their mental health and ruining educational opportunities is abuse. It's power play on the adult side to never listen and accept childrens feelings.
•    Anonymous said… There isn't enough xaxax in this world for me to try homeschooling.
•    Anonymous said… there's no one fit fix for all. Know your child, hear your child and love your child and you'll know what the kick n scream is about.
•    Anonymous said… Unless the child is being abused, "why" they have problems in school is irrelevant. They are engaged in a power play with you. Do not let them win. Take it from someone on the spectrum who has taught and worked with autistics for years.
•    Anonymous said… We had this with Aspergers son. We insisted he go. We regretted that when he had a big meltdown at school and an altercation with teachers. He must have had a reason for the refusal.
•    Anonymous said… Also the school being proactive and setting up these meetings yourself really helps because alot of times things will go faster and smoother with us really involved, I kinda am learning as I go.
•    Anonymous said… Don't put her through it... she may be losing much more than any wins......homeschool or special learning schools - small size classes small school.....
•    Anonymous said… Homeschool. Works for us.
•    Anonymous said… If you can, you change your life and take them out of school.
•    Anonymous said… In second grade my daughter begs to not have to go. She quit sleeping at night, vomited in the morning, cried getting out of the car at school. Teacher said all is fine. She got back in the car in the afternoon, started crying, vomited all the way home and has massive meltdowns until bedtime and then the cycle started over. She was fine in school according to the school. At six weeks in I pulled her to homeschool. She was evaluated with a high IQ, Aspergers, anxiety and depression. It's been three years and life is much better for her. She is coping successfully educationally, emotionally and with her anxiety.
•    Anonymous said… Is there a reason why the child is refusing? is child being bullied? Is child failing classes? Do you have a school that has a special ed department with small classes? i have a current 7th grader in public school. K-5 he was in regular classes. since 6st grade he has been in a special day class with minimal students. His teachers have taught special ed for years and work very well with him and the other students in the class. We are currently working on getting placement for high school as the public high schools do not seem to have small classes for our sensitive kids. We are mainly looking at charters/magnets that have special ed departments with small classes. While my son attended regular classes in elementary, we tried last year to put him into a regular class for two hours and it was a nightmare. He developed bad ocd which led us to medicate him...a HUGE mistake for us as it made him violent.
•    Anonymous said… My 13 year old has aspergers and high anxiety. She was bullied at school, and I just couldn't send her back. We discovered K12 online schools. We have done it for 2 years now, and it is working for us.  :)
•    Anonymous said… My daughter is 9 and ad the yrs went on it got harder and nearly impossible to get her to school. I had to resort to homeschooling to stabilize the situation get her evaluated, take a break and get proper personalised tools in place to help her feel comfortable going to school. The school referred an aid from a program that would come an hour before school and go with her to school and stay for 2 more hours with her. That helped her atleast try school again but she still was off and on about school. Then we got an IEP and she has daily access to the special education room even though she's super smart. Ever since she has been able to go to the special education room she has been going to school since it's been about a week but she's doing good and that may be the key for her to be calm and go.
•    Anonymous said… My oldest is 14 and we have a 11 yr old too. They both refused to go to school and disliked it. I literally have took them both, carried them, crying and screaming. I had enough. How can they be learning? We have homeschooled for 4 years. Things are so much better. Not worth their anxiety and stress for my "quiet" time.
•    Anonymous said… My son is high functioning autistic.. The beginning of the school year was super rough...The first couple of weeks we had to drive him and take him in kicking and screaming (transitioning is not our strong point) but once he got used to going back he was fine.. Hes in 5th grade we have an IEP in place he eats lunch in the office and if hes having a rough morning he goes into the Deans office and hangs out with him.
•    Anonymous said… Not if you want to maintain a trusting relationship with your child. They aren't mucking up. It seems that this is pretty classic for our special kids (including mine). The school refusal is a cry for help and letting you know the current situation isn't working. Dragging her kicking and screaming will just traumatise her further and fracture the trust she has in your relationship with her. From my perspective no education is worth that. See if you can find another option for her that suits her needs better.
•    Anonymous said… Same issue here but a long time ago now. Oliver didn't see why he had to go to school but I pointed out it was the law and if he didn't go to school I would have to go to prison. He accepted this and went to school because he didn't want me to go to prison. Of course it depends on your relationship. I know some children who would see this as a bonus. He did continue to argue the point on a regular basis but I would remind him that it was the 'rule'.
•    Anonymous said… Same with mine but we had to support this by discussion during periods of calm. This included the odd occasion when we 'agreed' to his having a day off from school BUT he would have to go along with my plans for the day including stuff like shopping (which he hated). Oliver knew I had to go to work to pay for his food and computer stuff etc and essentially learned to rationalise his own thinking to accept the status quo. He continued to hate school but accepted the rules.
•    Anonymous said… Same with my 10yo Asperger's son. We started homeschooling this year. Perfect for our situation:)
•    Anonymous said… She was homeschooled for about 7 months this school yr during the whole process. She has asbergers, anxiety and adult defiant disorder.
•    Anonymous said… This works for some kids and worked with mine for a little while. My sons anxiety was too high to be able to make rational decisions once he was in a heightened state.
•    Anonymous said… You really have to be their advocate. So many untrained individuals that don't really understand our kids. Believe your kids more. My daughter is now in her twenties and out of frustrations of not knowing how to handle the spectrum as a whole a lot of abuse takes place. Which of course comes in many forms so can be very discouraging for our kids. Over the years some were caught and fired. It's really about having a heart to want to work with them with proper training. Stay strong and love and encourage them. They need us.


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