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Understanding Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder in Children with Autism

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a complex mental health condition that affects individuals of all ages, characterized by persistent, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors or mental acts (compulsions) that a person feels driven to perform. For children on the autism spectrum, navigating the dual challenges of OCD and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) can be particularly difficult. This article aims to provide an in-depth exploration of how OCD manifests in children with autism, approaches to treatment, and practical strategies for supporting these children and their families.

The Relationship Between Autism and OCD

Research indicates a significant correlation between ASD and OCD, with children with autism being at a notably higher risk of developing OCD than their neurotypical peers. While OCD can occur independently, many of its symptoms can be misinterpreted as traits of autism, making accurate diagnosis and treatment essential. For instance, both conditions can include rigid behaviors and an intense preference for routine—features commonly observed in children on the spectrum.

Detailed Examination of Symptoms

Children with autism who also experience OCD display a unique combination of symptoms that can complicate the clinical picture:

**1. Obsessions:**
Obsessive thoughts can take many forms; however, in children with autism, these obsessions often revolve around specific interests or themes. For instance, a child might develop an intense fear that something terrible will happen if they do not engage in a particular behavior, such as counting or checking objects repeatedly. These obsessions can disrupt the child’s ability to focus on schoolwork or enjoy play, leading to increased anxiety.

**2. Compulsions:**
Compulsive behaviors may appear similar to the repetitive actions typical in autism, such as hand-flapping or spinning objects. However, compulsions driven by OCD may manifest more urgently, such as needing to touch or arrange items in a particular order to alleviate the anxiety tied to their obsessive thoughts. Children might perform these rituals several times a day and may become very upset if they cannot complete them.

Key Signs of OCD in Children with Autism

Identifying OCD in children with autism requires careful observation to distinguish it from typical autistic behaviors. Some key signs that may indicate the presence of OCD include:

- **Heightened Distress:** A child may show significant emotional distress, such as crying or tantruming, if they feel they cannot perform their compulsive rituals, indicating a level of anxiety beyond typical discomfort.

- **Excessive Time Commitment:** OCD behaviors often require a considerable time commitment, typically defined as more than an hour a day. This can severely impede the child’s ability to participate in other essential activities, such as school, playdates, and family time.

- **Avoidance Behavior:** Children may strategically avoid situations that trigger their obsessions, which could include foregoing social gatherings or school events, further isolating them from peers and exacerbating their anxiety.

The Impact of OCD and Autism on Daily Life

The co-occurrence of OCD and autism has a profound impact on a child's daily functioning. The persistent anxiety and compulsive behaviors associated with OCD can hinder various aspects of life. Social interactions may become increasingly limited due to compulsive routines, and academic performance can decline as a child struggles to focus on tasks amid intrusive thoughts.

Additionally, families may experience increased stress as they strive to understand and support their child. Parents often feel overwhelmed navigating the challenges of dual diagnoses and may be unsure of how best to support their child practically and emotionally.

Diagnosis and Assessment

A meticulous evaluation process is crucial for diagnosing OCD in children on the autism spectrum. This evaluation typically includes:

- **Comprehensive Clinical Interviews:** Mental health professionals conduct in-depth interviews with caregivers, seeking to understand the child's thoughts, behaviors, and routines. This dialogue is crucial for distinguishing between OCD symptoms and autism-related behaviors.

- **Standardized Assessment Tools:** Specially designed instruments, such as the Children's Yale-Brown Obsessive-Compulsive Scale (CY-BOCS), facilitate a structured evaluation of OCD symptoms. These assessments gauge the severity and frequency of obsessions and compulsions.

- **Collaboration with Multiple Sources:** Engaging with teachers, therapists, and caregivers provides valuable insights into the child’s behaviors across different settings, enriching the overall assessment.

Treatment Approaches

**1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT):** CBT is highly effective for treating OCD and is particularly beneficial for children. This therapy focuses on helping children identify and alter negative thought patterns and behaviors. A specific subtype of CBT, known as Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), involves gradually exposing the child to anxiety-producing situations while teaching them to resist compulsive behaviors.

**2. Medication:** In some cases, particularly where symptoms are severe and impair functioning, medical intervention may be necessary. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are often prescribed to help regulate mood and reduce the intensity of OCD symptoms. Any medication protocol should be closely monitored by healthcare professionals familiar with the unique needs of children with autism.

**3. Parental Involvement and Family Therapy:** Involving parents in the therapeutic process can significantly enhance the effectiveness of treatment. Family therapy may provide a space for open communication, where family members can express their feelings and learn to support each other better.

Practical Strategies for Parents and Caregivers

Supporting a child with both autism and OCD requires a well-rounded approach characterized by empathy, understanding, and structure. Here are several practical strategies parents and caregivers can utilize:

- **Establish Clear Routines:** Maintaining a predictable daily schedule can offer a sense of security and help mitigate anxiety related to the unknown.

- **Gradual Exposure Techniques:** Parents can facilitate gradual exposure to anxiety-inducing situations in a safe and supportive manner, allowing the child to build confidence while developing coping mechanisms.

- **Encourage Open Communication:** Create an environment of trust where children feel safe discussing their thoughts and anxieties. This dialogue can help them verbalize their feelings and decrease the power of their obsessive thoughts.

- **Utilize Resources:** Numerous organizations provide resources, support groups, and educational materials to assist families in navigating the complexities of ASD and OCD. Connecting with these resources can offer additional strategies and emotional support.

OCD in children with autism presents a multifaceted challenge that requires careful understanding and tailored approaches to treatment. By recognizing the specific symptoms and impacts of both disorders, caregivers and mental health professionals can implement effective interventions that promote understanding and healing.

With appropriate therapeutic strategies, parental support, and a commitment to fostering an accepting and structured environment, children with autism and OCD can learn to manage their symptoms and lead fulfilling, meaningful lives. This journey requires patience, compassion, and collaboration among all parties involved, but with dedicated effort, positive outcomes are achievable for these children and their families.

 

 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...
By

The Importance of Early Intervention for Autism: Statistics and Insights

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a complex neurodevelopmental condition that affects individuals in various ways, manifesting through challenges in communication, social interaction, and behavior. With a rising prevalence of autism—affecting approximately 1 in 44 children in the United States, according to the CDC—understanding the significance of early intervention becomes crucial. Early diagnosis and intervention can have meaningful impacts on the long-term development and quality of life of individuals with autism.

### Understanding Early Intervention

Early intervention refers to a range of services provided to children with autism, typically before the age of three, designed to support their development. These services may include behavioral therapies, speech and language therapy, occupational therapy, and family support. The aim is to enhance the child’s development and minimize the challenges associated with autism.

### The Statistics Behind Early Intervention

1. **Age of Diagnosis**: Research shows that children can be reliably diagnosed with autism as early as 18 months, but the average age of diagnosis in the U.S. is around 4 years. This gap highlights the importance of increased awareness and proactive screening for autism in young children.

2. **Benefits of Early Intervention**:  

  • According to a study published in the journal *Pediatrics*, children who received early interventions such as Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy showed significant improvements in IQ scores, adaptive behavior, and social skills when compared to those who received later interventions.
  • The National Autism Center reports that early intervention can lead to significant advancements in communication skills, reducing the severity of symptoms and enabling better academic performance.


3. **Cost-Effectiveness**: The economic impact of early intervention is notable. A report by the *National Academy of Sciences* estimated that investment in early autism interventions could yield significant savings in special education and healthcare costs. For every $1 invested in early interventions, as much as $2.50 can be saved in future costs associated with special education services and other support.

4. **Long-Term Outcomes**: Longitudinal studies indicate that early intervention can influence life outcomes for children with autism. Research in the *Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry* found that children who participated in early intervention programs were more likely to attend regular education classes and required less intensive support as they grew older.

5. **Parental Support and Training**: Studies show families that engage in early intervention programs feel more empowered and competent in supporting their child’s development. Research from the *Journal of Family Psychology* highlights that parental training significantly improves both child outcomes and parental well-being.

6. **Underutilization of Services**: Despite the benefits, many children do not receive early intervention services. The *Centers for Disease Control and Prevention* notes that approximately 70-80% of children with autism are not diagnosed until after age 4. This delay can hinder the potential benefits of early interventions.

### Barriers to Early Intervention

Several barriers prevent families from accessing early intervention services:

  • **Lack of Awareness**: Many parents may not recognize the early signs of autism or may mistakenly attribute behavioral issues to typical childhood development.
  • **Insurance Issues**: Some families face challenges accessing insurance coverage for autism treatments or may be unaware of their rights under laws like the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA).
  • **Limited Resources**: In certain geographic areas, the availability of trained professionals and early intervention programs can be scarce, making it difficult for families to access necessary services.

In summary, the statistics surrounding early intervention for autism underscore its critical role in promoting positive outcomes for children on the spectrum. Increased awareness, timely diagnosis, and proactive access to early intervention services are vital for enhancing developmental trajectories and improving quality of life. Investing in early interventions not only benefits individuals with autism but also has broader implications for families and society. As awareness continues to grow, efforts must be made to ensure that all children have the opportunity for early support, paving the way for a brighter future.


 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...

By

Navigating the Journey: Stages a Parent Goes Through Upon Learning Their Child Has ASD

Receiving a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) for a child can be a life-altering moment for any parent. The journey is often marked by a complex range of emotions and stages, similar to the well-known Kübler-Ross five stages of grief. Understanding these stages can provide insight into the experience of parents as they process the diagnosis and learn to adapt to their new reality.

1. Shock and Denial

The first stage a parent often experiences is shock and denial. This initial reaction is a natural defense mechanism against overwhelming news. Parents may find themselves in a state of disbelief, struggling to accept that their child has been diagnosed with ASD. Questions race through their minds: “How can this be true?”, “What does this mean for my child's future?”, or “Is this really happening?” During this time, parents might search for second opinions or seek to minimize the severity of the diagnosis.

2. Anger

Once the shock begins to fade, parents may experience anger. This anger can manifest in many forms: anger towards themselves, the system, or even the world at large. They might feel frustration towards the perceived inadequacies of healthcare professionals, educational systems, or societal attitudes towards autism. Often, parents grapple with feelings of injustice, wishing the circumstances were different. This anger can be directed inward, leading to feelings of guilt for not being able to prevent the diagnosis or sadness for the loss of the "typical" parenting experience.

3. Bargaining

After the initial tumult of anger, parents may enter a bargaining stage. This stage involves attempts to regain a sense of control or normalize the situation. Parents might find themselves thinking, “If I just try harder at parenting, or if we attend more therapy sessions, perhaps things will improve.” They seek solutions, hoping to change the diagnosis or alleviate symptoms. This stage often comes with searching for therapies, diets, or therapies that could "cure" ASD, reflecting a deep desire to help their child lead a typical life.

4. Depression

As the reality of the diagnosis sinks in, many parents experience a profound sense of sadness or depression. This stage can be filled with feelings of hopelessness and uncertainty about the future. Parents may mourn the dreams they had for their child and the expectations they held about typical milestones. This period often leads to reflection on the challenges their child will face and how their own lives will change as a result. Parents may isolate themselves, feeling misunderstood by others who don’t fully grasp what ASD entails.

5. Acceptance

The final stage that parents often reach is acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean that the journey is over or that all difficulties have vanished. Instead, acceptance involves coming to terms with the diagnosis and embracing the uniqueness of their child. Parents may seek support from local or online communities, finding solace in connecting with others who share similar experiences. They often learn about autism and advocacy, becoming empowered to seek the best resources for their child. Acceptance can lead to a renewed focus on celebrating achievements, however small, and finding joy in the unique abilities and contributions their child can offer.

Emotional Growth

The journey through these stages is not linear, and parents may cycle back through them multiple times as they face new challenges or milestones in their child's life. Importantly, while these stages are common, every parent’s experience is unique, shaped by their personal circumstances, support systems, and children.

Support and Resources

During this journey, parental support is crucial. Many organizations provide resources, whether they be informational websites, local support groups, or parenting workshops. Information helps demystify ASD, providing parents with tools to help their children thrive. Connecting with other parents who face similar challenges can also provide emotional support, sharing successes and strategies that can lead to personal and collective empowerment.

Conclusion

The journey of learning that one’s child has ASD is filled with various emotions, each playing a vital role in how a parent adapts to this new reality. While the process can be daunting and filled with uncertainty, it also has the potential to lead to profound personal growth and understanding. The acceptance stage offers not just a resolution to the emotional turmoil but a pathway toward a more hopeful future, advocating for better understanding and inclusion of children with autism in society. Ultimately, it emphasizes the importance of love, resilience, and the unbreakable bond between parent and child, regardless of the challenges they may face together.


 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...

 


By

Preventing Meltdowns in Students with ASD: Advice for Teachers

"Do you have any simple, 'cut-to-the-chase' advice I could share with my son's teacher (who seems to know very little about how to handle students on the autism spectrum who 'meltdown')? He is currently in the 6th grade and has a new teacher."

Sure. Here goes...


Students with ASD level 1, or High Functioning Autism (HFA), desperately need support from educators when they struggle with emotional and behavioral issues in school. Here are many helpful strategies that every teacher should know:

HFA can co-exist with other disorders (e.g., ADHD, depression, anxiety). But mostly, this disorder affects the ability to socialize. These youngsters have difficulty recognizing facial expressions, sarcasm, and teasing, and struggle to adapt to unexpected changes in routine. Their interests tend to be very narrow, and this can limit their capacity to relate to others.

Due to these struggles, kids on the autism spectrum oftentimes experience anger, fear, sadness, and frustration. There are several effective interventions that can be employed in the classroom to help improve the youngster’s learning experience. These can assist the student in feeling more comfortable and decrease anxiety, paving the way for academic achievement.
 

1. Make a Plan for Emotional Outbursts— Provide a quiet place for the student who has frequent meltdowns. This may be a trip to the bathroom with a classroom aide, or a visit to the school counselor. A written plan for coping in these periods of high stress is critical for an HFA student’s success.

2. Make Classroom Rules Clear— Students with HFA thrive on rules, but will often ignore them when they are vague or not meaningful. Educators should detail the most important classroom rules and why they exist. A written list prominently displayed, or a handout of the classroom rules can be very helpful.

3. Minimize Surprises in the Classroom— Youngsters on the autism spectrum need structured settings to succeed. They do not like surprises. Things like sudden seating changes or unexpected modifications to the routine could cause anxiety and even meltdowns. Educators should try to provide ample warnings if there is to be a change of plans (e.g., sending a note home to the parent if a seating change is imminent).

A back up plan can be presented to the class in anticipation of schedule changes (e.g., when the Friday schedule that usually includes watching an educational film in the afternoon changes if time is short, the teacher should inform the students ahead of time that they will work on free reading or journaling instead).

4. Promote Supportive Friendships— If it seems appropriate, educate the class about autism spectrum disorders. Develop empathy by making students aware of inappropriate words and bullying behaviors. Highlight the "special needs" youngster’s strengths in classroom lessons to enable him to find friends with common interests.

If the student on the spectrum seems to be struggling with friendships, group him during classroom activities with those that are more kind and empathetic. At recess or lunch, try assigning a “classroom buddy” who will be supportive and guide the youngster through those more chaotic times.

5. Provide Sensory Support— Many kids with HFA also experience sensory processing issues. Sensitivity to light, sound, touch, taste, and smells can irritate the youngster, making him more likely to act out or withdraw. Consult the mom or dad to determine what these sensitivities are. Minimizing classroom chaos, noise, and clutter will be a good start.

If possible, get help from an occupational therapist and try to work sensory breaks into the youngster’s school day. Chores such as returning a load of books to the library, or even doing a few jumping jacks in the hallway, can go a long way in helping the youngster realign and get back to learning.

Helping kids with HFA in the classroom is yet another challenge for today’s overburdened educators. However, with insightful monitoring, parental and professional guidance, and creative strategies, a love of school and learning can be fostered in these young people kids.
By

Raising Children and Teens on the Autism Spectrum: Dealing with Parental Stress

Of course, not all moms and dads of children with ASD level 1, or high functioning autism (HFA), are under stress, but many are. 
 
As one mother states, “You learn to live with a significant amount of stress and you throw yourself into your everyday job as a parent when you have a youngster with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. If you work outside the home, you work even harder - and you don't think much about taking care of yourself.”

Some moms and dads worry that they could have done something to prevent their youngster's problems. They also agonize over whether they could do more now. Some stress is to be expected. As long as you're sleeping and eating well, enjoying much of your day-to-day life, and finding support where you need it, your stress is probably not too overwhelming.



Are you too stressed? Ask yourself these questions:
  • Are symptoms of stress impeding your functioning?
  • Are you finding it hard to get through the day's activities?
  • Are you having a hard time eating, sleeping, or getting up in the morning?

If you're exhausted and overwhelmed on a regular basis, you're more susceptible to physical and mental disorders. You may need time and help to recharge your batteries and find coping mechanisms. And it's important to take action now for the future. After all, when you're the mother or father of a "special needs" youngster, you're in it for the long term.

An experienced professional can help give you concrete ideas for finding time and space for yourself. He/she can also work with you to develop specific coping strategies. Changes in attitude can make a big difference, and there are many ways to work on your own feelings. It may also be helpful to have an appropriate time and place to let out pent-up frustration that's so often a part of coping with a youngster with an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

It's important to find a psychologist, psychiatrist, or social worker who has specific experience in working with families affected by autism spectrum disorder. To find such a person, get in touch with local support groups and ask for advice. Check out online databases. Ask your family doctor for suggestions, too. Some states offer a service called "mobile therapy." This program brings therapists into your home to work with you and your whole family.

The main thing parents with an HFA youngster need to know is that they are not alone. There is help out there! Even if you are a single mom raising kids alone, there is help. It's up to the parent, however, to realize that it's not a sign of failure as a parent to need and accept help in caring for your child.

Discipline for a child on the autism spectrum is often very different than the way you would discipline a neurotypical child. So a parent is often left feeling helpless and not knowing what to do, and feeling they have nowhere to turn in getting a break from parenting. In fact, a lot of moms and dads actually feel guilty for even wanting a break, let alone taking one. 
 
The idea of a few hours away from their youngster makes them feel as though they are failing him or her as a parent. For some reason, some parents feel that to parent their youngster, that means being around them and caring for them 24/7 without any outside help.

Moms and dads need to take a break! Hire a competent babysitter, even a nurse if needed, get family to help, ask a friend for help! The point is this: get out of the house alone or with your spouse for a few hours and enjoy yourself. You can’t change any of the issues your youngster may have, but you can get a break. You can get out a few hours a week alone to unwind and you can get help to allow you to get that much needed break.

There are no easy answers on how to raise a son or daughter on the spectrum. Every child is different, as is every parent in their parenting methods. But the stress level is invariably there. Handling the stress is necessary in order to provide good care not only for your youngster, but for yourself and the rest of the family as well.

Many parents go through a difficult time when their youngster is first diagnosed. But after a year or two, most do learn to cope, enjoy their youngster's achievements and their own lives, and have fun.

These "special needs" children are special indeed – and we love our children very much. But we as moms and dads need to be able to unwind and relieve the stress so that we are better able to parent. Never feel guilty for needing to ask for help!

Bottom line: If you're not the person you normally are, then that's a reason to get help, or at least consider that possibility.

By

SUPER Important Tips for Parents of Children on the Autism Spectrum

Understanding the implication of ASD (high-functioning autism) can bring a greater level of tolerance and acceptance for those with the condition.  
 
Here are some traits and behavior patterns commonly seen in ASD:

• A youngster can be helped if parents consistently work with him and highlight his strengths and work consistently on his weaknesses.

• ASD is often detected when a youngster starts preschool. He will generally interact better with his teacher than his peers and may display silly, loud, aggressive or socially withdrawn behavior.

• Kids on the autism spectrum express their feelings in unpredictable ways. Sometimes they may seem emotionless and other times they may display extreme emotion that is not appropriate to the situation.

• Kids with ASD prefer routine and structure and can become irritable and distressed if the unexpected happens.

• Eye contact is not understood or made use of.
 

• Gross and fine motor skills are often underdeveloped, causing problems in sports and balance.

• Intense preoccupations often center on certain toys or areas of interest. Common obsessions are dinosaurs and forms of transport and how they work.

• Interrupting conversations is a common problem as the youngster does not understand the social signals that allow conversation to move from one to another.

• It is possible to teach social skills but it is a long slow process and often requires parental intervention to repair social damage when they act inappropriately.

• Many kids are perfectionists and struggle if they fail to produce perfect schoolwork. Encourage them to move on, and create distractions if necessary to get them to continue working.

• Most children with the disorder are of average or above average intelligence.

• Older kids may enjoy a club that is focused on their interest – for example, coin or stamp collecting.

• On a positive note, this aversion to rule-breaking means the youngster is less likely to experiment with smoking, drinking, drugs, and sex as he matures.

• Rules are very important and a youngster may become angry if a game is not played fairly or his peers break school rules.

• Short stories can be useful in teaching social skills. Use one page visual aids that teach about listening to others and keeping quiet and still while they talk.

• The youngster may appear cold and uncaring but it is not deliberate. He does not think about others and cannot understand the social graces that keep society functioning.

• They find it hard to generalize. If taught that they shouldn’t hit a youngster at school, they do not automatically make the connection that they shouldn’t hit a youngster in the mall.

• They have excellent thinking skills where things are concerned but are extremely poor at interpreting human relationships.

• They will often seek out other people to talk to about their interests. The conversation is usually one-sided – more like a lecture where they talk about their knowledge and aren't interested in feedback.
 

• Things are interpreted very literally, meaning that sarcasm, playful teasing and figures of speech are not understood.

There is hope for kids who have autism, and with training and support from their family and health professionals, they can live meaningful, productive lives. 
 
 

 
 
Here are some important parenting tips to implement ASAP:

1. Although it is not the youngster’s fault, he will still ultimately be the one to take the consequences of his behavior. It will help your youngster if you can explain the consequences clearly and logically when your youngster is able to listen.

2. Celebrate your child’s humor, creativity, and passion.

3. Do you want to understand the child`s actions? Just ask yourself: What behavior would make sense if you only had 4 seconds to live?

4. Don’t argue; nag; or attempt unsolicited and spontaneous transplants of your wisdom to your youngster. Instead, either a) decide that the issue is aggravating but not significant enough to warrant intervention; or b) make an appointment with your youngster to discuss the issue.

5. Especially with teens, negotiate, negotiate, and negotiate. Parents need to model negotiation, not inflexibility. Don’t worry about losing control: the parent always gets to decide when negotiation is over and which compromise is accepted. Remember: negative behaviors usually occur because the child is spinning out of control, not because he is evil. While evil behavior would need to be aggressively squelched, the much more common overwhelmed behavior needs to be calmly defused.

6. Forgive your youngster and yourself nightly. You didn’t ask to live with the effects of ASD any more than did your youngster.

7. Head off big fights before they begin. Seek to diffuse, not to inflame. When tempers flare, allow everyone to cool off. Serious discussion can only occur during times of composure.

8. If it is working, keep doing it. If not, do something else.

9. If your youngster has a meltdown, the most important thing to remember when dealing with these situations is to try to figure out what caused them. Your youngster is not doing this to intentionally annoy you; he is doing it because he has reached his limit of tolerance in whatever he is dealing with. If you feel his meltdown was caused by a change in routine, reassure him of the routine for the rest of the day and that the routine will not change the next day, if that is the case.

10. Imagine your youngster delivering your eulogy. What do you want him to say about you? Keep those bigger goals in mind as you choose your interactions/reactions to your youngster.

11. Instead of punishing wrong behavior, set a reward for the correct behavior you would rather replace it with. Rewards should be immediate, frequent, powerful, clearly defined, and consistent. Also remember that a behavior always gets stronger before it changes.

12. Keep a sense of humor. Seek to enjoy – not to scream.

13. Pick your fights. Is the issue at hand worth chipping away at your relationship with your youngster? Can your youngster really control the offending behavior at this moment?

14. Plan ahead. Give warnings before transitions. Discuss in advance what is expected, and what the results might be. Have the youngster repeat out loud the terms he just agreed to.

15. Recognize that attention issues in the youngster are only the tip of the iceberg that the whole family must address.

16. Remember that a youngster on the spectrum is still a youngster with thoughts and feelings, and that you are the adult this youngster looks to for support and guidance.

17. Remember that these young people have two time frames: Now, and Huh. There is no future. There is only now. The past is non-negotiable.
 

18. Review this text, and others, periodically. You are going to forget this stuff, and different principles will likely be needed at different stages.

19. The kids who need love the most will always ask for it in the most unloving ways.

20. The most important thing is to be consistent. Kids with ASD thrive on routine. Everything needs to be done at the same time, in the same way, every day, as much as possible, to give the youngster a sense of safety and security. When there will be a change in your youngster's routine, tell them as far in advance and explain what will happen. When you talk to your child, you should use a calm and even tone of voice, and use explicit language that says exactly what you mean. Do not make requests too complicated or ask a youngster to do things with too many steps at once. Try to keep your language as literal as possible. Try to be very verbal. If your youngster does something right, praise them for it.

21. The patient in ASD is the whole family.

22. This is hard work. It is also hard work for your youngster.

23. This is not a contest with your youngster. The winner is not the one with more points. The winner is the one whose youngster still loves them when they graduate from high school.
 

24. You do not have a standard youngster. You can view the issue as a disability. Or, you can view it as wonderful uniqueness. Or, you can view it as both. This "disability outlook" will help because it eliminates blame; sets reasonable expectations thereby minimizing anger; and points the way for parents/teachers to see themselves as "therapists" not victims.

25. You will make it through this; you have no choice.

Kids on the spectrum are for the most part bright, happy and loving kids. If we can help break through to their 'own little world' we can help them to cope a little better in society. They have a need to finish tasks they have started. Strategies can be developed to reduce the stress they experience at such times. Warnings that an activity is to finish in x minutes can help with older kids. With younger kids attempts to 'save' the task help - videoing a program, mark in a book, etc.

As the kids mature some problems will get easier, but like all other kids new problems will emerge. Some teenagers can feel the lack of friendships difficult to cope with as they try hard to make friends in their own way but find it hard to keep them. This is not always the case. Many have friends who act as 'buddies' for long periods of time. Social skills will have to be taught in an effort for them to find a place in the world ... so take all opportunities to explain situations time and time again ..... and one day.......it may work!
 

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
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Disciplinary Tips for Difficult Kids on the Autism Spectrum

Disciplining kids displaying difficult behavior associated with ASD or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) will often require an approach that is somewhat different as compared to “typical” kids. Finding the balance between (a) understanding the needs of a youngster on the autism spectrum and (b) discipline that is age appropriate and situationally necessary is achievable when a few effective strategies are applied. These strategies can be implemented both at home and school.

Traditional discipline may fail to produce the desired results for kids with HFA, primarily because these children are often unable to appreciate the consequences of their actions. Consequently, punitive measures may worsen the type of behavior that they are intended to reduce, while at the same time, creating anxiety in both the youngster and parent.

Behavioral Diary—

Parents and teachers should consider maintaining a diary of the youngster's behavior with the goal of discovering patterns or triggers. Recurring behavior may be indicative of the youngster taking some satisfaction in receiving a desired response from parents, teachers, and even classmates. For instance, the HFA youngster may come to understand that hurting one of his peers will result in his being removed from class. 
 
In this case, punishing the youngster for the behavior, or attempting to explain the situation from the perspective of the injured peer, may not provide a solution. Instead, it would be best to address the root cause behind the motivation for the misbehavior. A good question to find the answer to may be, “How can my student be made more comfortable in class so that he will not want to leave it?”

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

Positive versus Negative Discipline—

One of the ways to address problematic behaviors in autistic kids is to focus on the positive. Praise for good behavior, along with positive reinforcement (e.g., a Reward Book), often helps. Given the autistic youngster’s tendency toward low-frustration tolerance, a verbal cue delivered in a calm manner will elicit a more favorable response than a harsher one. Also, when giving instruction to stop a particular form of misbehavior, it should be expressed as a positive rather than a negative (e.g., rather than telling the youngster to stop hitting his sister with the ruler, the youngster should be directed to put the ruler down – in this way, he is being instructed to DO something positive rather than STOP something negative).


Obsessive or Fixated Behavior—

Almost all kids go through periods of development where they become engrossed in one subject matter or another. But, kids with HFA often display obsessive and repetitive characteristics, which can have significant implications for behavior. For instance, if the youngster becomes fixated on reading a particular story each night, she may become distraught if this routine is disrupted, or if the story is interrupted.

As mentioned earlier, the use of a behavioral diary can help in identifying fixations. Once a fixation is identified, it is important to set appropriate boundaries. Providing a structure within which the child can explore the obsession can help keep the obsession within reasonable limits, without the associated anxiety that may otherwise arise through such restrictions (e.g., telling the youngster she can watch her favorite cartoon for 30 minutes after dinner, and making time for that in her daily routine).

It’s acceptable to use the obsession to motivate and reward the youngster for good behavior. However, make sure that any reward associated with positive behavior is granted immediately in order to help her recognize the connection between the two.

A particularly helpful technique to develop social reciprocity is to have the youngster talk for 5 minutes about her favorite subject – but after she has listened to the parent talk about an unrelated topic. This helps the youngster to understand that not everyone shares her enthusiasm for her “special interest.”

Sibling Issues—

For brothers and sisters who are not on the spectrum, the preferential treatment received by an HFA sibling can give rise to feelings of confusion, frustration, and resentment. Oftentimes, siblings will fail to understand why the “special needs” child apparently seems free to behave as he pleases without much in the way of punishment.

Parents set the tone for sibling interactions and attitudes by example and by direct communications. In any family, kids should be treated fairly and valued as individuals, praised as well as disciplined, and each youngster should have special times with parents. Thus, moms and dads should periodically assess the home situation. Although important goals for a youngster with “special needs” are to develop feelings of self-worth and self-trust, to become as independent as possible, to develop trust in others, and to develop to the fullest of his or her abilities, these goals are also important to the “neurotypical” (i.e., non-autistic) siblings.

To every extent possible, parents should require their HFA child to do as much as possible for himself. Moms and dads should provide every opportunity for a normal family life by doing things together (e.g., cleaning the house or yard, going on family outings, etc.). Also, the youngster with the disorder should be allowed to participate as much as possible in family chores, and should have specific chores assigned (as do the other kids).

Sleep Difficulties—

HFA kids are well-known for experiencing sleep problems. They may be more likely to become anxious about sleeping, or may find they become anxious when waking during the night or early in the morning.

Parents can reduce the youngster's anxiety by making her bedroom a place of safety and comfort (e.g., remove or store items that may be prone to injure the youngster if she decides to wander at night). Also, include in a behavioral diary a record of the youngster's sleep patterns. Keep a list of the child’s routine (e.g., dinner, bath, story, bed, etc.) in order to provide structure. Include an image or symbol of her waking in the morning to help her understand exactly what will happen. In addition, social stories have proven to be a particularly successful method in decreasing a youngster's anxiety by providing clear instructions on how part of her day is likely to unfold.

At School—

Another autistic trait is that the affected youngster will often experience difficulty during parts of the school day that lack structure. Difficulties with social interaction and self-management during “free time” can result in anxiety. The use of a “buddy system” and the creation of a timetable for recess and lunch times can help provide some structure.

Teachers should explain the concept of free time to the HFA youngster, or consider providing a separate purpose or goal for the youngster during such time (e.g., reading a book, helping to set up paint and brushes for the afternoon tasks, etc.).

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

In Public—

Kids with HFA can become overwhelmed to the point of meltdown by even a short exposure to certain public places (e.g., a noisy crowded store). Some parents simply avoid taking their youngster out to such places.

Consider providing the youngster with an iPod, or have the radio on in the car to block out stress-inducing sounds and stimuli. Prepare a social story or list describing the details of a trip (e.g., to the store or doctor). Be sure to include on the list your return home. Also, consider giving the youngster a task to complete during the trip, or having him assist you in some chore (e.g., carrying groceries).

Overprotective Parenting—

Some moms and dads of “special needs” children can become overprotective. They may make frequent excuses for their youngster’s behavior, or they may not discipline where most others agree it to be warranted. When this occurs – regardless of the youngster’s disorder – the balance of authority shifts. The youngster gains more and more control while being protected in a sheltered environment with little or no discipline.

Parents who are overprotective, who do very little in the way of discipline, and who micromanage every aspect of their child’s life are teaching some very artificial life lessons that will significantly hinder their youngster in the real world. Knowing when, how, and how much to discipline the HFA youngster can be very challenging. Parents may be filled with worry for their youngster and her future. But, they still need to find balance in their role as a parent and disciplinarian. There is a fine line between being an effective parent and being perceived as coddling of the “special needs” youngster.

The youngster’s diagnosis is a label that describes just a small fraction of who that person is. He is many other things. His diagnosis does not exclusively define him. In valuing the youngster’s gifts and talents – along with understanding his diagnosis – parents must be cautious about going to extremes. Of course, they have every reason to be a strong advocate on behalf of their youngster and in protection of his rights. But, this does not exempt the child from being disciplined.

Even children with a “disorder” should be permitted to make long- and short-term mistakes (with support and guidance, however). This is a real challenge for parents who are naturally protective of their youngster. But, it is the only way she will be able to learn and prepare for greater independence in the future. Where possible, parents should look for small opportunities to deliberately allow their youngster to make mistakes for which they can set aside discipline-teaching time. It will be a learning process for both the child and parent. Disciplining the youngster should be a teaching and learning opportunity about making choices and decisions. But, when she makes mistakes, assure her that she is still loved and valued.

Praise and Rewards—

One of the best methods for correcting “bad” behavior is to focus on the child’s acceptable behavior and provide rewards so that he is encouraged to repeat the “good” behavior. To do that, parents must first establish some ground rules. The ground rules must state specifically what is considered acceptable behavior – and what is not. Parents should catch and reward their child when he is well-behaved and following the rules. A reward doesn’t necessarily have to be a physical or expensive reward. It can be genuine praise or a word of encouragement. Most importantly, the reward must be clear and specific. The youngster should be able to know exactly the behavior that earned the reward for (e.g., rather than saying "good job," say "thank you for cleaning up your room").

Inability to Generalize—

Most HFA kids are not able to generalize information. They are usually not able to apply what they learn in one learning context to another. For instance, the child may learn that hitting his friend at school is not acceptable, but he may not necessarily understand that he can’t hit his sister at home. Once the situation changes, it will be a totally a new learning experience for the child. Thus, parents must be consistent and provide many repetitions in disciplining him. A consistent environment and many repetitions will help the youngster to learn and remember the differences between right and wrong.

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

The Difference Between Discipline and Punishment—

Discipline is: 
  • "Time-outs" that are open-ended and governed by the child's readiness to gain self-control
  • Acknowledging or rewarding efforts and good behavior
  • Consistent, firm guidance
  • Directed at the child's behavior, never the child’s personality
  • Giving children positive alternatives
  • Listening and modeling
  • Logical consequences that are directly related to the misbehavior
  • Physically and verbally non-violent
  • Positive, respectful
  • Re-directing and selectively "ignoring" minor misbehavior
  • Reflection and verbal give-and-take communication
  • Teaching children to internalize self-discipline
  • Teaching empathy and healthy remorse by showing it
  • Understanding individual abilities, needs, circumstances and developmental stages
  • Using mistakes as learning opportunities
  • When children follow rules because they are discussed and agreed upon
  • When children must make restitution when their behavior negatively affects someone else

Punishment is: 
  • "Time-outs" that banish a child for a set amount of time governed by the parent
  • Being told only what NOT to do
  • Children are punished for hurting others, rather than shown how to make restitution
  • Consequences that are unrelated and illogical to the misbehavior
  • Constantly reprimanding children for minor infractions causing them to tune-out
  • Controlling, shaming
  • Criticizing the child, rather than the child's behavior
  • Forcing children to comply with illogical rules "just because you said so"
  • Inappropriate to the child’s developmental stage of life
  • Individual circumstances, abilities and needs not taken into consideration
  • Negative and disrespectful of the child
  • Physically and verbally violent or aggressive
  • Reacting to - rather than responding to - misbehavior
  • Sarcastic
  • Teaching children to be controlled by a source outside of themselves
  • Teaching children to behave only when they will get caught doing otherwise
  • When children follow rules because they are threatened or bribed

Discipline is guidance. When we guide children toward positive behavior and learning, we are promoting a healthy attitude. Positive guidance encourages a child to think before he acts. It also promotes self-control. Punishment, on the other hand, is a type of parental-control behavior. Basically there are 3 kinds of punishment: (1) penalizing the child with consequences that do not fit the crime (e.g., "Because you told a lie, you can't have your allowance"); (2) physical (e.g., slapping, spanking, switching, paddling, using a belt or hair brush, etc.); and (3) with words (e.g., shaming, ridiculing, cussing, etc.).

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

Punishment is usually used because it vents the parent’s frustration, it's quick and easy, parents don't know other methods, and it asserts adult power. Punishment does not promote self-discipline. It only stops misbehavior for that moment. Punishment may fulfill a short-term goal, but it actually interferes with the accomplishment of the long-term goals of self-control. The outcomes for children who are punished include ideas such as: 
  • “It is okay to hit people who are smaller than you are.”
  • “It is right to hit those you are closest to.”
  • “Those who love you the most are also those who hit you.”
  • “Violence is okay when other things don't work.”

Conclusion—

From the moment parents hear the diagnosis, they know life will be more challenging for their “special needs” youngster than for her siblings. So, when they ask her to do something and it's not done, they may let it go. Or they may fear that what they like her to do, or not do, is impossible for her to achieve. But, if parents feel that their child doesn't deserve discipline, it's like telling her, "I don't believe you have what t takes." And if parents don't believe it, neither will the child.

Behavior management is not about punishing or demoralizing the youngster. Instead, it's a way to lovingly set boundaries and communicate expectations. Discipline is one of the most important ways that moms and dads can show their HFA child that they love and care about him.



==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
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