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Parent’s Individualized Attention When One Child Is Autistic and the Other Is Not

Balancing the needs of an autistic child and a typical child can be a challenging but rewarding experience. It requires patience, understanding, and flexibility to ensure that both children receive the support and attention they require.

One of the most beautiful aspects of balancing the needs of both children is the opportunity to recognize and respect their individual differences. Each child is a unique gift, with their own set of needs, interests, and abilities. It's a joy to acknowledge and celebrate these differences while providing tailored support for each child.

Open and honest communication is a cornerstone in understanding and meeting the needs of both children. It's important to talk to both the autistic and typical child, explaining the needs of one to the other in a way they can understand. Encouraging them to express their feelings and concerns is key to fostering a supportive environment.

Establishing routines and structure can be beneficial for both children. While routines can provide a sense of predictability and security for autistic children, they can also help typical children understand and adapt to the needs of their sibling. Finding a balance between structure and flexibility is essential to accommodate the varying needs of both children.

Creating opportunities for individualized attention is also important. While the autistic child may require specific therapies, interventions, or support, it's crucial to ensure that the typical child receives one-on-one time and attention as well. This can help prevent feelings of neglect or jealousy and foster a positive sibling relationship.

Providing individualized attention to children is crucial for their overall development and well-being. When it comes to a typical child and a special needs child, the approach to individualized attention may differ, but the underlying goal remains the same – to support each child in reaching their full potential.

For a typical child, individualized attention involves recognizing their unique strengths, weaknesses, and interests. This can be achieved through personalized learning plans, small group activities, and one-on-one interactions with teachers. By tailoring the learning experience to the child's specific needs, educators can help them thrive academically, socially, and emotionally.

In the case of a special needs child, individualized attention takes on a more specialized form. It requires a deeper understanding of the child's specific challenges and abilities, as well as the implementation of targeted interventions and accommodations. This may involve personalized education plans, assistive technology, specialized therapies, and additional support from trained professionals. The goal is to create an inclusive environment where the special needs child feels supported and empowered to learn and grow alongside their peers.

Regardless of the child's individual needs, providing individualized attention requires collaboration among educators, parents, and other support professionals. It also involves ongoing assessment and adjustments to ensure that the child's evolving needs are met effectively.

Finding inclusive activities that both children can enjoy together is a powerful way to bridge the gap between their differing needs. Whether it's engaging in sensory-friendly activities, finding common interests, or simply spending quality time together as a family, these shared experiences can create lasting memories and strengthen the bond between the siblings.

Seeking support from professionals, support groups, or other parents who have navigated similar challenges is crucial. But equally important is for parents to remember to prioritize their own self-care. By taking care of themselves, they can ensure they have the strength and resilience to effectively support both children.

In summary, balancing the needs of an autistic child and a typical child requires empathy, adaptability, and a commitment to understanding and meeting the unique needs of each child. By fostering open communication, establishing routines, providing individualized attention, creating inclusive activities, and seeking support when necessary, parents can create a supportive and harmonious environment for both children to thrive.

 

 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
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A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...


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5 Tips for Raising a Child With Autism

URL: https://pixabay.com/photos/happy-boy-autism-kid-childhood-3404807/


Raising a child with autism is difficult. The costly treatments, special education needs, therapy, and autistic kids’ assisted devices can strain the family finances, especially those not covered by insurance. Since each autistic child is unique, caring for them can be a full-time job for particular families. Some children may have difficulties with verbal communication. This communication challenge may compound you, the parent, with anxiety and stress.

Parenting an autistic child requires support from family, paid caregivers, and others. The lack of support leaves the parents with little to no time for socialization, hobbies, exercise, rest, and more. However, implementing the right strategies can help you and your family cope. This article discusses five tips for raising a child with autism.

1.   Start treatment immediately

Once you feel that something is wrong with your kid, don't wait to see if they'll outgrow the issue or assume they'll catch up later. Children with ASD have greater chances of treatment success if they start early. Seek immediate medical assistance. If your child shows any signs of autism spectrum disorder, you’ll likely be referred to a specialist who treats children with autism disorder, such as a child psychiatrist or psychologist, pediatric neurologist, or developmental pediatrician, for an evaluation. With the help of platforms like Encuadrado, you can find the right specialist for your autistic child.

2.   Learn more about autism

Learning more about autistic spectrum disorder equips you with the knowledge you need to make informed choices that make your child’s life easier. Learn everything you can about this disorder through online research or enroll in a short autism course and educate yourself on available treatment options. Consult non-profit and governmental organizations about autism, stay updated on recent research findings, and ensure the information sources you’re looking at are reputable.

3.   Join support ASD support groups

Raising an autistic child comes with many challenges. As such, most parents may feel isolated. Joining autism support groups can significantly help you as a parent. Through these groups, participants share information, including details about new programs or therapies, advice on engaging with various autism professionals, and experiences and stories of living with autistic kids.

The support groups are a safe platform for parents to let out their frustrations because of their emotions and be validated and understood. You can join different types of groups, including professionally-led, peer-led, educational, and family autism support groups.

4.   Focus on your child’s strengths

As a parent, you might focus more on your child's deficit areas. Nonetheless, recognizing their strengths and talents and building on them is essential. So, identify your autistic child’s abilities and strengths and use them to enhance their development. Tools such as a developmental assessment and an IQ test can help you know more about your young one’s learning and thinking skills.

5.   Take time for self-care

Parenting an autistic child can be stressful and overwhelming. Your child could be sensitive to your anxieties and stresses, intensifying their reactions. Prioritizing self-care and practicing mindfulness can help you reset and build self-compassion in high-stress times. You can exercise, go out with friends, sleep early, or go to the spa. This prevents burnout and enables you to take better care of your child.

Endnote

Taking care of an autistic child is challenging. However, implementing these tips for raising a child with autism can help make the journey easier.

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Discipline Problems in Kids and Teens with ASD Level 1

Question

Our son has autism but it would appear to be a mild condition as he has developed very well and does not exhibit extreme symptoms of the syndrome. However my wife and I have become exasperated of late in trying to teach our child about inappropriate or naughty behaviour. He does not respond to sanctions or punishments and even when he does and the reason for a sanction is explained he does not seem to learn from the sanction so that the behaviour is often repeated again and again and the threat of the same or similar sanction has no effect. Can you make any suggestions? Sanctions include being sent to his room, removal of favourite toys or treats and although he responds/accepts the actual punishment he will not learn the lesson which we are trying to teach him. 


Answer

Disciplining kids displaying behavior consistent with ASD level 1 (high-functioning autism) will often require an approach which is somewhat unique compared to that of other kids. Finding the balance between understanding the needs of a youngster with ASD and discipline which is age appropriate and situationally necessary is achievable when applying some simple but effective strategies. These strategies can be implemented both at home and in more public settings.

General Behavior Problems

Traditional discipline may fail to produce the desired results for kids with ASD, primarily because they are unable to appreciate the consequences of their actions. Consequently, punitive measures are apt to exacerbate the type of behavior the punishment is intended to reduce, whilst at the same time giving rise to distress in both the youngster and parent.

At all times the emotional and physical well-being of your youngster should take priority. Often this will necessitate removing your youngster from a potentially distressing situation as soon as possible. Consider maintaining a diary of your youngster's behavior with a view to ascertaining patterns or triggers. Recurring behavior may be indicative of a youngster taking some satisfaction in receiving a desired response from peers, parents or teachers.
 
==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

For example, a youngster with ASD may come to understand that hurting another youngster in class will result in his being removed from class, notwithstanding the associated consequence to his peer. The solution may not be most effectively rooted in punishing the youngster for the behavior, or even attempting to explain the situation from the perspective of their injured peer, but by treating the root cause behind the motivation for the misbehavior...for example, can the youngster be made more comfortable in class so that they will not want to leave it?

One of the means to achieve this may be to focus on the positive. Praise for good behavior, and reinforcement by way of something like a Reward Book, can assist. The use of encouraging verbal cues delivered in a calm tone are likely to elicit more beneficial responses than the harsher verbal warnings which might be effective on kids who are not displaying some sort of autistic characteristic. If necessary, when giving directions to cease a type of misbehavior, these should also be couched as positives rather than negatives. For example, rather than telling a youngster to stop hitting his brother with the ruler, the youngster should be directed to put the ruler down.

Obsessive or Fixated Behavior

Almost all kids go through periods of development where they become engrossed in one subject matter or another, but kids with ASD often display obsessive and repetitive characteristics, which can have significant implications for behavior.

For example, if an ASD youngster becomes fixated upon reading a particular story each night, they may become distressed if this regime is not adhered to, or if the story is interrupted. Again, the use of a behavior diary can assist in identifying fixations for your youngster. Once a fixation is identified, it is important to set appropriate boundaries for your youngster. Providing a structure within which your youngster can explore the obsession can assist in then keeping the obsession within reasonable limits, without the associated angst which might otherwise arise through such limitations. For example, tell your youngster that they may watch their favorite cartoon for half an hour after dinner, and make clear time for that in their routine.

It is appropriate to utilize the obsession to motivate and reward your youngster for good behavior. Always ensure any reward associated with positive behavior is granted immediately to assist the youngster recognizing the nexus between the two.

A particularly useful technique to try to develop social reciprocity is to have your youngster talk for five minutes about a particularly favored topic after they have listened to you talk about an unrelated topic. This serves to help your youngster understand that not everyone shares their enthusiasm for their subject matter.

Bridging the Gap between ASD and Discipline and Other Siblings

For siblings without autism, the differential and what at times no doubt appears to be preferential treatment received by an ASD sibling can give rise to feelings of confusion and frustration. Often they will fail to understand why their brother or sister apparently seems free to behave as they please without the normal constraints placed upon them.

It is important to explain to siblings or peers of ASD kids and encourage open discussion about the disorder itself. Encouragement should extend to the things siblings can do to assist the autistic youngster, and this should be positively reinforced through acknowledgement when it occurs.

Sleep Difficulties
 
Kids on the spectrum are renowned for experiencing sleep problems. They may have lesser sleep requirements, and as such are more likely to become anxious about sleeping, or may find they become anxious when waking during the night or early in the morning.
 
==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Combat your youngster's anxiety by making their bedrooms a place of safety and comfort. Remove or store items which might be prone to injure your youngster if they decide to wander at night. Include in the behavioral diary a record of your youngster's sleep patterns. It may assist your youngster if you keep a list of their routine, including dinner, bath time, story and bed, in order to provide structure. Include an image or symbol of them waking in the morning to provide assurance as to what will happen. Social stories have proven to be a particularly successful tactic in decreasing a youngster's anxiety by providing clear instructions on how part of their day is likely to play out.

At School

Another autistic characteristic is that kids will often experience difficulty during parts of the school day which lack structure. If left to their own devices their difficulties with social interaction and self-management can result in anxiety. The use of a buddy system can assist in providing direction, as can the creation of a timetable for recess and lunch times. These should be raised with class teachers and implemented with their assistance.

Explain the concept of free time to your youngster, or consider providing a separate purpose or goal for your youngster during such time, such as reading a book, or helping to set up paint and brushes for the afternoon tasks.

In Public

Kids with ASD can become overwhelmed to the point of distress by even a short sourjourn in public. The result is that many parents with ASD simply seek to avoid as much as possible situations where their youngster is exposed to the public. Whilst expedient, it may not offer the best long term solution to your youngster, and there are strategies to assist with outings.

Consider providing your youngster with an ipad, or have the radio on in the car to block out other sounds and stimuli. Prepare a social story or list explaining to the youngster a trip to the shops, or doctor. Be sure to include on the list your return home. Consider giving your youngster a task to complete during the trip, or having them assist you. At all times, maintaining consistency when dealing with ASD and discipline is key. It pays to ensure that others involved in your youngster's care are familiar with your strategies and techniques, such as those outlined above, and are able to apply them.
 
==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Most importantly, don't hesitate to seek support networks for parents with ASD, and take advantage of the wealth of knowledge those who have dealt with the disorder before you have developed. The assistance you can gain from these and other resources can assist you in developing important strategies to deal with problems with ASD in a manner most beneficial to your youngster.

Additional Points to Consider

An autistic youngster may throw tantrum or behave aggressively when he is disappointed or frustrated as other kids do. But he is not doing it intentionally, because as an Autistic youngster, he is unable to understand that other people have thoughts and feelings. He doesn't know that other people hurt when he hit them. He may learn this as he gets older, but it may take sometimes. So how do parents of ASD kids tell them to not hit other people? How can they handle their misbehavior?

Discipline is about teaching your youngster good and appropriate behavior. Discipline is about helping them to become independent and responsible people. Regardless of whether your youngster is special need or not, you still need to discipline him with the consideration of his special needs. In particular, you need to keep in mind his unusual perception of pain. Therefore, hitting them or any physical punishment is a big no-no. The hitting will not teach that their behavior is unacceptable. In contrast, it may encourage them that hitting others is an acceptable behavior. It may even encourage self-injurious behavior. In fact many experts strongly agree to not use physical punishment on autistic kids and advised them to find alternative methods of discipline method.

The best method is through positive discipline, where you focus on his acceptable behavior and provide rewards so that your youngster would be encouraged to repeat the behavior. To do that, first you need to establish ground rules. The ground rules must states specifically of what is consider as an acceptable behavior and what is not. You must catch and reward them when they are well-behaved and following the rules. A reward need not necessarily be a physical or expensive reward. It can be genuine praise or word of encouragement. Most importantly, the reward must be clear and specific. The youngster should be able to know exactly the behavior that earned the reward. Rather than saying "Good job," say "Thank you for cleaning up your room."

Some Autistic youngsters are not able to generalize information. They are usually not able to apply what they learn in one learning context to another learning context. For example, he may learn that hitting his friend at school is not acceptable, but he may not necessarily understand that he cannot hit his sister at home. That is, once the situation changes, it will be a totally a new learning experience for him. Be consistent and provide many repetitions in disciplining them. If there is punishment, make sure that the punishment is always the same for the bad behavior. A consistent environment and many repetitions will help your Autistic youngster to learn and remember the differences between right and wrong.

Disciplining an Autistic youngster is not easy, but with your loving care and understanding of him will make the task much easier to fulfill. I feel by accommodating his special needs and the loved he feel, he takes discipline a lot better. Be persistent and enjoy every small success. He may not be the captain of a football team, but he is taking small steps to become an independent and responsible person.


Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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