The Challenges Faced by Teenagers with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

As the incidence of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) continues to rise, it has become increasingly important to understand the challenges faced by teenagers on the spectrum. 

 

Navigating adolescence is a daunting task for all teens, but those with ASD face unique hurdles that can affect their emotional, social, and academic development. This article will delve into the multifaceted challenges that ASD teenagers encounter today.

 1. Social Interaction Difficulties

One of the most profound challenges faced by teenagers with ASD is social interaction. Social cues, body language, and the nuances of peer communication can be perplexing for these individuals. Many teenagers with ASD may struggle to initiate conversations, read social signals, or maintain friendships. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. Adolescents are often keenly aware of their differences compared to their peers, which can exacerbate feelings of exclusion.

Moreover, social expectations during the teenage years become more complex, often involving nuances in relationships, dating, and group dynamics. For a teenager with ASD, understanding and navigating these evolving social landscapes can be particularly overwhelming, leading to social anxiety or withdrawal.

 2. Bullying and Peer Victimization

Teenagers with ASD are particularly vulnerable to bullying. Their differences in communication and behavior can sometimes make them targets for bullies, leading to increased rates of victimization. This bullying can take various forms, including verbal abuse, social exclusion, and physical intimidation.

Victims of bullying often face significant mental health challenges, including depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts. The impact of bullying can deter teenagers with ASD from engaging in social settings or school activities, further isolating them and negatively affecting their self-esteem and mental well-being.

 3. Academic Challenges

Academic performance can also be a significant challenge for teenagers with ASD. Many students with ASD have average to above-average intelligence, yet they may struggle with executive functioning skills, organization, and time management. The school environment can be chaotic and overwhelming, leading to difficulties in focusing and processing information.

Additionally, standard educational practices do not always account for the specific needs of students with ASD. Some may require tailored teaching methods or accommodations that are not readily provided. The lack of understanding and support from educators can hinder academic success and lead to frustration and disengagement from school.

 4. Co-Occurring Mental Health Issues

The prevalence of mental health issues is notably higher among teenagers with ASD compared to their neurotypical peers. Common co-occurring conditions include anxiety disorders, depression, and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). The pressures of adolescence, coupled with the intrinsic challenges of ASD, can lead to increased vulnerability to mental health issues.

Support systems, including counseling and therapy, are essential for helping these individuals cope with their feelings and experiences. However, access to mental health services can be limited, particularly in areas lacking specialized professionals familiar with ASD.

 5. Transitioning to Adulthood

As teenagers with ASD approach adulthood, they face significant challenges related to transitioning into independent living, vocational training, and post-secondary education. The transition process can be chaotic and daunting, requiring guidance and planning. Many teenagers with ASD may not receive adequate vocational training that matches their skills and interests, making the shift to the workforce difficult.

Furthermore, the lack of community programs for individuals with ASD can leave many teenagers without the necessary support to navigate adulthood successfully. This transition period can often be fraught with anxiety, uncertainty, and a fear of the unknown.

 6. Family Dynamics and Support

The challenges faced by teenagers with ASD also extend to their families. Parents and siblings may struggle to provide the emotional and practical support required by the teenager. Families often experience stress and anxiety regarding their child's future, leading to a complicated family dynamic.

Siblings may feel isolated, as they often bear the burden of understanding and accommodating their brother or sister's needs. Effective family communication and support networks are crucial for helping both teenagers with ASD and their families navigate these challenges.

 7. Lack of Awareness and Understanding

Despite increasing awareness of ASD, misconceptions and stereotypes persist. Teens with ASD may find themselves battling stereotypes that paint them as socially inept or overly reliant on routines. Such stereotypes can hinder their ability to form relationships and be accepted by their peers, as understanding of their unique abilities and perspectives may be lacking.

Educational institutions, workplaces, and communities must work toward greater inclusivity and understanding to create environments where teenagers with ASD can thrive. Increasing awareness can help foster acceptance and encourage neurotypical peers to engage positively with their ASD counterparts.

In summary, the challenges faced by teenagers with Autism Spectrum Disorder are numerous and complex, impacting various aspects of their lives. By understanding these challenges, society can take meaningful steps to support teenagers with ASD, ensuring they navigate adolescence with greater confidence, acceptance, and opportunities for success. Community resources, supportive educational environments, and a greater awareness of ASD can make a significant difference in the lives of these teens, allowing them to embrace their individuality and potential.

 

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Launching Adult Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social-Skills and Emotion-Management to Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

 

 

More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:

 

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...

 

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A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...

The 5 Main Traits of ASD Level 1 (High-Functioning Autism)

ASD Level 1, also known as "high-functioning autism," is characterized by mild symptoms that may interfere with an individual's ability to function in social or occupational settings. Some common traits of ASD Level 1 include:

1.    Challenges in social interactions, such as difficulty with initiating or sustaining conversations, and struggles with understanding nonverbal communication cues like body language and facial expressions.

Difficulty in Understanding Social Cues—

One of the primary challenges individuals with autism face in social interactions is difficulty in understanding social cues. This includes non-verbal cues such as body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. As a result, they may struggle to interpret the emotions and intentions of others, making it challenging to engage in typical social interactions.

Trouble with Reciprocal Communication—

Individuals with autism often experience difficulties in engaging in reciprocal communication. They may struggle with initiating conversations, maintaining eye contact, or taking turns during a conversation. This can lead to social isolation and difficulties in forming meaningful relationships with peers.

Sensory Sensitivities—

Many individuals with autism have sensory sensitivities, which can impact their ability to engage in social interactions. Certain social environments may be overwhelming due to sensory stimuli such as loud noises, bright lights, or crowded spaces. This can lead to social withdrawal and avoidance of social situations.

Challenges in Understanding Social Norms—

Understanding and adhering to social norms can be challenging for individuals with autism. They may have difficulty grasping unwritten social rules, understanding personal space boundaries, or interpreting the nuances of social etiquette. This can lead to social misunderstandings and feelings of alienation.

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

Strategies for Supporting Individuals with Autism in Social Interactions—

Understanding the challenges faced by individuals with autism in social interactions is essential for creating an inclusive environment. Here are some strategies for supporting individuals with autism:

• Providing clear and explicit communication
• Creating structured social situations with clear expectations
• Offering support for sensory sensitivities
• Educating peers and community members about autism and promoting acceptance and understanding

2.    Repetitive behaviors or restricted interests, such as adherence to strict routines, intense focus on specific topics, or repetitive movements.

Repetitive behaviors in individuals with autism can manifest in different forms, including repetitive body movements such as hand-flapping or rocking, insistence on sameness and routines, and an intense focus on specific topics or objects. These behaviors often serve as a way for individuals with autism to cope with anxiety and sensory sensitivities. While repetitive behaviors can provide comfort and a sense of control, they can also interfere with daily functioning and social interaction.

Restricted interests refer to the intense, narrow focus that individuals with autism may develop on specific topics or activities. This might involve an encyclopedic knowledge of a particular subject, an obsession with collecting specific items, or a fixation on certain patterns or routines. While these interests can be a source of joy and expertise for individuals with autism, they can also limit their engagement in other activities and social interactions.

It's important to understand that repetitive behaviors and restricted interests are not necessarily negative aspects of autism. They are part of the individual's unique way of experiencing the world. However, they can present challenges in educational, occupational, and social settings. Understanding and accommodating these behaviors is crucial in supporting individuals with autism.

Therapies and interventions aimed at addressing repetitive behaviors and restricted interests in autism often focus on teaching alternative coping strategies, expanding interests, and promoting flexibility. Applied behavior analysis (ABA), cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and occupational therapy are some of the approaches used to help individuals manage these behaviors and develop broader areas of interest.

3.    Sensory sensitivities, which can manifest as heightened or reduced sensitivity to sensory input such as light, sound, touch, or taste.

Sensory sensitivities refer to heightened reactions to sensory stimuli such as sound, touch, taste, smell, and sight. For individuals with autism, these sensitivities can manifest in different ways. Some individuals may be hypersensitive to certain stimuli, while others may be hyposensitive, meaning they seek out more sensory input to feel stimulated. This can result in distress, discomfort, or sensory overload, making it challenging for individuals with autism to navigate their surroundings.

It's important to recognize that sensory sensitivities are not simply preferences or aversions; they are fundamental to how individuals with autism experience the world. For example, a seemingly harmless sound, such as the buzzing of fluorescent lights, could be excruciatingly overwhelming for someone with sensory sensitivities. Similarly, certain textures of clothing or unexpected touch can cause extreme discomfort.

==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Supporting individuals with autism and sensory sensitivities involves creating an environment that minimizes sensory triggers and provides coping strategies. Here are some approaches that can be beneficial:

•    Sensory-Friendly Spaces: Designing environments with consideration for sensory sensitivities can greatly improve the well-being of individuals with autism. This may involve using soft lighting, minimizing background noise, and offering sensory-friendly seating options.

•    Sensory Diet: Developing a "sensory diet" involves identifying specific sensory activities that help regulate an individual's sensory system. This could include activities like deep pressure input, fidget toys, or sensory breaks to prevent sensory overload.

•    Communication and Advocacy: Encouraging open communication and understanding of individual sensory needs is crucial. Individuals with autism should feel empowered to express their sensory challenges and preferences, and others should be receptive and accommodating.

•    Education and Awareness: Increasing awareness and understanding of sensory sensitivities associated with autism within the wider community can lead to greater empathy and support for individuals with autism.

By recognizing and addressing sensory sensitivities, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment for individuals with autism.

4.    Difficulties with transitioning or adapting to change, leading to anxiety or distress in situations that deviate from familiar routines.

For individuals with autism, maintaining a predictable routine can provide a sense of security and stability. Any deviation from the routine or unexpected changes can lead to distress and anxiety. This can be particularly challenging in settings such as school or work, where schedules and expectations may vary.

Social transitions can also pose challenges for individuals with autism. Meeting new people, navigating social gatherings, or adjusting to changes in relationships can be overwhelming. The unspoken rules of social interactions can be difficult for individuals with autism to understand, making it hard for them to adapt to new social situations.

Environmental changes, such as moving to a new house or experiencing a change in sensory input, can also be overwhelming for individuals with autism. Sensory sensitivities are common among people with autism, and changes in sensory input can lead to discomfort or distress.

So, how can we support individuals with autism in transitioning and adapting to change? One approach is to provide clear and consistent communication about any upcoming changes. This can help individuals prepare for the transition and reduce anxiety. Visual supports, such as schedules and social stories, can also be helpful in explaining upcoming changes and what to expect.

Creating structured transitions and providing ample time for individuals to adjust to change can also be beneficial. Gradual exposure to new situations or environments, along with positive reinforcement, can help individuals with autism build confidence and develop coping strategies for managing change.

==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

5.    Strong preference for solitude or solitary activities, and a tendency to feel overwhelmed or drained by social interactions.

Individuals with autism often exhibit a strong inclination towards solitary activities and may find comfort and solace in being alone. This preference for solitude can manifest in various ways, such as seeking out solitary hobbies, engaging in repetitive behaviors in isolation, or withdrawing from social interactions.

It's important to recognize that not all individuals with autism display the same patterns of behavior, and preferences for solitude can vary widely among those on the autism spectrum. For some individuals, solitary activities may provide a sense of calm and predictability in a world that can often feel overwhelming and chaotic. Engaging in solitary pursuits may serve as a coping mechanism, allowing individuals with autism to regulate their sensory experiences and reduce feelings of anxiety or distress.

However, it's crucial to approach the strong preference for solitude in the context of individual differences and personal preferences. While some individuals with autism may find solace in being alone, others may desire social connections but struggle to navigate the complexities of interpersonal interactions. Understanding and respecting these differences is essential in providing support and creating inclusive environments for individuals with autism.

Moreover, the strong preference for solitude in individuals with autism should not be misconstrued as a lack of interest in social connections or relationships. Many individuals with autism value meaningful connections and friendships, but may face challenges in initiating and maintaining social interactions. By promoting understanding and acceptance, we can help create opportunities for individuals with autism to engage in social activities on their own terms, while also respecting their need for solitude when necessary.

It's important to note that each individual with ASD Level 1 may experience a unique combination of these traits, and the severity of symptoms can vary widely. Additionally, individuals with ASD Level 1 often have strengths as well, such as exceptional attention to detail, proficiency in specific areas of interest, and the ability to think in a logical, systematic manner.

 

 

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Launching Adult Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social-Skills and Emotion-Management to Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

 

 

More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:

 

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...

 

------------------------------------------------------------

 

A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...

Creation of a Structured and Predictable Environment for Children with Autism

 

Autistic children often face significant challenges with emotional dysregulation, struggling to manage and express their emotions in socially acceptable ways. This can lead to intense emotional outbursts, heightened anxiety, and difficulties in transitioning between activities. Understanding these challenges is crucial in providing the necessary support to help these children navigate and regulate their emotions effectively.

==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

One of the foundational aspects of helping autistic children with emotional dysregulation is the creation of a structured and predictable environment. This strategy, along with others, has been proven to be effective. Establishing consistent routines and clear expectations can help reduce the child's anxiety and provide a sense of security, thereby contributing to emotional stability. This structured environment can be supplemented with sensory accommodations tailored to the child's specific needs, such as providing sensory tools like fidget toys or creating designated quiet spaces where the child can retreat when feeling overwhelmed.

Creating a structured and predictable environment for autistic children is not just a task, but a powerful tool for enhancing their well-being and development. Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects communication, behavior, and social interaction. Many autistic children not only adapt but thrive in an environment that provides clear routines, consistent schedules, and predictable activities.

Predictability and structure help reduce anxiety and provide a sense of security. This can be achieved by maintaining a regular schedule for waking up, mealtimes, school, therapy sessions, playtime, and bedtime. Communicating any changes in the routine well in advance can also help prepare the child for transitions and prevent distress.

In addition to a consistent routine, the physical environment should also be organized and structured. For instance, providing visual schedules for the day's activities, using visual cues such as picture symbols for different tasks, and labeling items in the environment can help autistic children navigate their surroundings and understand what is expected of them. Organizing the physical space into designated areas for different activities, such as quiet time, playtime, and learning, can also help create a structured environment.

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

Furthermore, clear and concise communication is vital in creating predictability for autistic children. This can be achieved by using simple and concrete language, providing clear instructions such as 'It's time for lunch now ', and avoiding ambiguous statements like 'Be good '. Positive reinforcement and consistent feedback can also aid in creating a structured environment by helping the child understand what behaviors are desired and expected.

Additionally, sensory considerations play a crucial role in creating a structured and predictable environment for autistic children. Sensory sensitivities are common among individuals with autism, and the environment should be designed to minimize sensory overload. This can include providing sensory-friendly spaces, which are areas with minimal sensory stimuli, using soft lighting, minimizing noise, and creating designated quiet areas where the child can retreat if they feel overwhelmed.

By establishing a consistent routine, organizing the physical environment, employing clear communication, and addressing sensory needs, you are providing the stability and predictability that autistic children thrive in. This supportive environment enables autistic children to build confidence, develop skills, and engage meaningfully with the world around them.

 

 

 

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Launching Adult Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social-Skills and Emotion-Management to Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

 

The Silent Bullying of Students with Autism Spectrum Disorder

“My ASD son (high functioning) continues to be bullied at school, but nobody there seems to take it seriously. His teach said that ‘he seems to start the arguments by annoying some of the other students.’ O.K. Fine. Maybe this is true, but that doesn’t justify bullying. How can I get the school to take this seriously?”

Under Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, disability harassment is against the law in all schools, school districts, and colleges and universities that receive public funds. “Special needs” kids who are bullied or harassed have legal rights to grievance procedures and due process on the local level. They can also file complaints with the Office of Civil Rights.

Nevertheless, in spite of all these laws and policies, the National Education Association estimates that every 7 minutes of every school day, a youngster is a victim of bullying, and 85% of the time there is no intervention by other children or grown-ups. Your youngster's school may have anti-bullying policies that do not help much on a practical level.

Kids in special education are the most frequent victims of bullies. Kids with ASD, or High-Functioning Autism (HFA), are inevitably victims of bullying. One expert puts the percentage at 100%. The reason is that HFA kids fit the profile of a typical victim (i.e., a "loner" who appears different from other kids). Like hungry wolves that attack a limping sheep that can't keep up with the herd, the boy or girl with clumsy body language and poor social skills appears vulnerable and ripe for bullying. What's worse is the youngster often suffers in silence and does not tell his mother or father about the torment.

Luke Jackson, a thirteen-year-old boy with ASD explained it like this: “Autistic kids don't realize which things they are supposed to go home and tell. ‘What have you done at school today?’ wouldn't automatically bring about the answer, ‘I have been bullied’ unless that subject was specifically brought up."

If your autistic youngster appears under extreme stress, if he is missing school because of headaches and stomachaches, if he has physical injuries and torn clothing, he may be a victim of bullying. If your youngster is stealing money from you, he may be using it to pay off a bully.

Once you determine that your youngster is a victim of bullying, you have to be careful not to make the situation worse. Writing in his book “Freaks, Geeks and Aspergers,” Luke describes what happened after his mom spoke up to his tormentors: “The bullies left me alone for sometime after that. But no amount of threatening by my brother, by the educators, fear of expulsion, pleasant reasoning, absolutely nothing made any difference and they never left me alone. In the end they were physically pushing me around and punching me and it was about the worst time of my entire life.”

Luke endured not only physical beatings, but also name-calling, teasing, tripping so his lunch tray fell all over, having his books destroyed and chairs pulled out from underneath him. He ended up changing schools.

One major problem that Luke's mother and other moms and dads of HFA kids face is that a school may have an anti-bullying policy, yet the staff looks the other way when it happens. Some school administrators are simply more tolerant of bullying than others. Some schools, including Columbine, tolerate a "pecking order" in which athletes and popular children have special privileges and develop a sense of entitlement that leads to a "bullying atmosphere." 

 

In such a school, if moms and dads report bullying, the principal may advise them to enroll their youngster in karate or otherwise teach him to stand up for himself. The underlying attitude is that it is the victim's fault. One principal told a mother of an autistic boy, "Your son is a little different and it bothers other kids, so he brings this on himself because of who he is." Also in such a school, educators and coaches may bully the “different” youngster too.

Another problem in approaching educators and school administrators is that an HFA youngster does not have the social savvy to tell his side of the story effectively. Bullies typically lack empathy and real feeling, but many are good at crying on cue and playing the victim. Often the autistic student gets expelled, and the bully receives no punishment unless the autistic student has an effective witness.

In a survey by York University, only 23% of children agreed with this statement: “educators usually - or almost always - intervene when bullies attack.” However, 71% of the educators in the survey agreed. Part of the problem is that educators do not witness most bullying, because it usually happens off campus (which also means the school may not be legally liable for it). AS HFA kids are most vulnerable when they walk alone to and from school. The other most likely times bullying occurs is during unstructured times (e.g., lunch hour, recess, passing between classes). Bullying peaks in junior high school.

There are things you can do to protect your youngster. It is a good idea to demand an anti-bullying clause in your youngster's Individual Education Plan (IEP). This is a proactive way of having solutions in place and holding the administration to its word in the event your youngster is bullied anytime throughout the year. If your school does not have an anti-bullying program, try to work through the PTO to get one in place. Some schools have a “bullying coordinator” (usually a volunteer) who monitors the lunchroom, restrooms, corridors and playgrounds, and makes sure there is consistent intervention.

If your youngster is a victim of bullying, don't approach the mom or dad of the bully – or the bully himself. According to the research, parents of bullies are often abusive people themselves. Talk to your youngster's teacher and principal in private. Ask for an adult aide to accompany your youngster at all times, if necessary. If the bullying does not stop, you can involve the police or file grievances through your local Office of Civil Rights. If your youngster is in danger, you can home-school him until the situation is under control or transfer him to a private school. If you have to file a lawsuit against the school and the mom and dad of the bully, find a lawyer whose expertise is in special education law.

P.S. Warning to parents: According to statistics, it is very likely that YOUR child with ASD HAS BEEN or IS BEING bullied. Why don’t you know about it? Because your child won’t tell you! Why won't he tell you? Because he thinks it's a normal, everyday activity that some peers engage in. So, you need to investigate this now – BEFORE your child has been tormented for weeks or months or years! If after your investigation, you discover there has been no bullying against your child, then thank God for it.

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Launching Adult Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social-Skills and Emotion-Management to Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD

 

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 COMMENTS:

o    Anonymous said… angry to hear on 2 levels. A.) Bullies are just slime of the earth. They are so distructive to kids, sometimes lifelong with their cruel words/actions. B.) The teacher is so cruel & ignorant to dismiss the bullying so callously! Go to the guidance office & request an IEP meeting. Seek a psychologist who specializes in autism and/or ASD. They will often attend your IEP meeting with you as a child advocate. Once you have an IEP you have more pull to get him removed from that class & to help him learn how to act in class. My daughter's school was great but some teachers not so much. My daughter used to disrupt class with excessive hand raising & calling out in class. Her teacher understood & would talk to her & remind her to wait her turn. She worked it in as an iep practice item. Don't stand for this, your are your son's only advocate. This helped my daughter tremendously! She is now in college. She struggles but she gets by due to confidence built in high school because of their support. You need them on your side and IEP is the start to that. I really wish you all luck
o    Anonymous said… Bullies should be stopped!
o    Anonymous said… Get an IEP, and then slam the school with it.
o    Anonymous said… Good luck! I did all if that too when my son was bullied. The teacher blamed him. The school refused to accommodate, help, or test him. I was treated poorly after my complaints. It took years to get the diagnosis, then they only did a 504 plan at an completely different school; I had to pull my son out of the first school. By then the damage was done. That was 3 years ago and my son STILL talks about that kid!
o    Anonymous said… Him starting the arguments is part of his condition which probably comes down to socializing skills. Bullying on the other hand is ILLEGAL, demand that they deal with the situation or you will through legal support.
o    Anonymous said… I just started home schooling my daughter! It has been so much less stressful.
o    Anonymous said… people need to be educated- i really had no clue about this condition until i watched the show parenthood. i have much respect for all you and shame on people did not give you that
o    Anonymous said… School was a huge challenge before our son got private care. I was looked down upon by teachers and staff, as they blamed his behaviors on my parenting. They do not understand the disorder and discipline the child for things beyond their control.
o    Anonymous said… Sounds so similar, we had that issue and were told our son was starting it, but what was happening was yes he would go and hit a child, to get put on the deck for the whole of lunchtime as no-one annoys you in time out. We were told our son would never be able to be in playground without supervision. We changed schools to one that has zero tolerance for bullying and our son is in the playground without supervision and doesn't hit anymore, he is happy and wanting to go to school, stomach up sets are no longer and it was affecting him mentally and physically. Top me if 1 school can have a zero tolerance why can't others.
o    Anonymous said… This makes me sick! I would go to the Board!! If that didnt work, I would get a Lawyer!!
o    Anonymous said… TOTALLY agree. I was going to say same thing when I read your post. School has a LEGAL obligation to accomodate a child with special needs. Sadly, you might have to pull that card and threaten them with a human rights complaint.
o    Anonymous said… We had to move schools. But it was well worth it
o    Anonymous said… Yes go to the board!!!! I did and if they put her on homebound....
o    Anonymous said… You’ll be lucky most schools dont want to know x

•    Anonymous said...  "Provocative victim". Go and look it up please and then quote it to the school. I went through this with my son all through primary school. Withdraw him and tell the
LEA why you are withdrawing him. I wish I had. Serious good luck. Incidentally secondary schools are better x
•    Anonymous said... Asperger kids perceive things differently so a kid with a snarky comment may have one kid give a snarky comment back and it rolls off their back..an asperger child takes it offensively because he can't understand rude words and then laughter as an "Imi kidding" they take it as rude comment you are laughing at me....I think the many years my son was "bullied" was because he didn't perceive it as joling around but more they are picking on me...and we as his parents supported that because we at home do not joke around by putting the other person down or calling each other names but if you have aspergers you follow the rules and takes things literallly, all.the.time...whereas my younger son can take the joke and give back the rude insults laugh it off and carry on...my older son with aspergers cannot....AND because he sees that funny joking insulting humor gets laughs he tries to be "funny" but he is then just really rude because he doent get the social aspect of the kidding around...the rules are not finite and aspergers kids didnt get the memo....so frustrating.
•    Anonymous said... Go to the superintendent if you have to. If he's been diagnosed by a dr the school can't fight that. My son was bullied so badly we are now homeschooling.
•    Anonymous said... He does NOT start arguments by 'annoying' ppl. He is a person with a disability and students r responding with hatred to that disability. Students might find behaviours associated with his disability annoying, but that is not the child with the disability's fault or problem. Shame on that teacher for not recognizing this and for blaming the victim of bullying.
•    Anonymous said... I just was asked to sign a petition for an anti bullying law. Your example is why I think this law is such a bad idea. The child with autism that is being bullied is being blamed for starting it by annoying others. This will come back badly for children with Autism that it is supposedly designed to protect. Think this stuff all the way through before jumping on board and signing a petition for anti bullying laws. It could have a very bad outcome for our children.
•    Anonymous said... I put my child in scouts for one and started to forge friendships. We taught lessons on inclusion through the badges earned. Problem to watch for is stacking all the special needs children in one troop. Once parents learn your good at this, everyone wants your troop and then soon the typical peers don't want to be in a troop with that many special needs children. My child's scouting friends began to stick up for my child. That was the beginning to change.
•    Anonymous said... It's so hard for them, especially when they are young. My son is five and most times, he doesn't know when someone isn't being nice to him. And he also doesn't realize when he is being rude or antagonistic. We go over the scenarios daily and consistently. He is improving, but it is something he has to practice and learn, like reading or math. It isn't innate, like most of us take for granted.
•    Anonymous said... My 11 year old boy has struggled with this issue since first grade (he is in sixth now). Not only have there always been the bullying kids (mostly other boys), there have been bullying adults who must interact him. It has only been this year that we've been convinced of an Aspergers diagnosis (not professional, although he does see a school psychologist at this point). We came from a high tech area in California and moved to a much more rural, mountainous area where education is not a big priority for a lot of kids. He is not challenged academically here at this current school. Some teachers and other administration didn't understand him, he has struggled socially (wanting friends, but never fitting in). His head is in technology, but he thrives in all subjects. He is athletic, but not interested in playing sports. He teaches himself anything he wants to learn. He is an amazing kid, however because of the constant bullying, we see a change in him. More depression, lower self-esteem, etc. Through the advice of the psychologist (who does NOT work for the school though she does work AT the school), she has recommended a different school setting. One where he will have more peers. So we have decided on taking him out of school after the holidays and we'll homeschool him through the end of this school year. After that, we'll be sending him to a charter school in a town nearby which is a college prep middle through high school. I have the belief that with more kids who "get" him, he'll end up having a positive middle school experience. We are fortunate that we can do this for him, whereas I realize a lot of folks cannot take the time to homeschool and on top of that, it's not easy. I had read the attached article a few months ago and decided to email it to his primary teachers (he has two). One teacher is so ridged, that without a IEP, she doesn't do much to change her teaching style with him. The other teacher understands him and stands up for him when he lets them know he is being bullied, taunted or teased. Schools NEED to be educated on kids that have different learning techniques and all other adults need to understand Aspergers and all spectrum kids for this to ever get better.
•    Anonymous said... My son has the same issue - his way of interacting makes others uncomfortable at times. The school has fought his Asperger's diagnosis for years choosing instead to classify him as "Emotionally Impaired". For me, the best I can do is attempt to help my son understand social situations. People are not going to change for him, so he needs to adjust his way of interacting based on others (not fair, but nothing is in life). His school social worker is finally understanding and starting to include him in with a group of kids who only work on social interaction and that has helped a little. If you happen to know the other kids, its great to be able to talk to them to be able to explain that your son isn't trying to be annoying and what they may be able to do to adjust their behavior to help him. If not, it's all on helping your son understand and adjust.
•    Anonymous said... My son is the exact same ! As I see it some kids r brought up not to except anything that's a bit different . I tell my son if people were all the same it would be a boring place!
•    Anonymous said... My son was blamed for his own bullying in pp, he came home bawling every day and ended the year saying he wished he was dead - he was six. Teachers should be better trained, I think the bullying also comes from the teachers which makes the kids think it's okay.
•    Anonymous said... Putting it blunty,the little bastards who make these poor kids life a living hell,usually have 1 or maybe 2 big bastard bullies at home learning them there greedy bombastic bullying ways.If they had been brought up in a loving family and taught right and decency not just take what you can and humiliate anybody round you,they wouldnt behave like it,to these poor defenceless littluns and if i caught a kid of mine bullying like that id drowned the little bleeder.xx
•    Anonymous said... Read the book "look me in the eye" it gave me some insight into the situation, the teachers said he was "bossy" but the book says they think differently about how the game should be played and are trying to teach the other children "the right way" good luck everyone, it's tough! We home schooled and he has gone from F's to A's and B's and is getting the achievement award, a very big difference to last years ending. His teacher is lovely (although we didn't start off on the right foot) and he has a few friends, although he still gets bullied. Stick with it, do what you have to and things can turn around, we are their only voice and we love them and see them for the special people that they are
•    Anonymous said... This is my biggest fear about sending my young son to school next year...he has a huge heart and sees everyone as a potential friend, but his approach catches other kids off-guard and they often don't understand. Parents need to teach their kids to love other people...simple.
•    Anonymous said... We all walk to the beat of different drums.It's so hard to stand by and watch your child get bullied. Everyone...not just parents need to take a stand. Bullying is NOT OK.
•    Anonymous said... We are going through the same as our son has just gone to secondary school and is really struggling.kids are not being kind and he just doesn't understand the way other kids can play fight and say mean things and it be a joke so he says things he hears and is being chased and threatened and is bewildered why!!
 

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When and How to Tell Children They Have Asperger's

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Discovering that your child has Asperger’s is a challenging situation for any parent. You may feel worried or overwhelmed, unsure of how to tell your child about their diagnosis. While it’s natural to feel anxious, it’s essential to have a conversation with your child. Your child has the right to know and understand why they might be different from their peers. As a parent, it's your responsibility to ensure your child receives the support they need. In this post, we’ll explore when and how to tell your child about their Asperger’s diagnosis.

Age and Maturity

While there is no right time, experts suggest that it’s best to have the conversation before your child enters adolescence. Children are aware of their differences early on, and if you delay the conversation for too long, they may develop feelings of confusion and isolation.

Children with Asperger's may already be aware of their difficulties in certain areas, like social interactions, making friends, or coping with sensory processing issues. By talking openly with your child, you can help them understand their particular needs and how to get the right support at school, home, and in other areas of their lives.

Respect Your Child’s Processing Style

A child's processing style should always be respected, especially when it comes to communicating that they have Asperger's. It's essential to approach this topic with sensitivity, compassion, and understanding. It’s important to offer simple explanations that cater to their developmental level and individual needs. You should even consider getting advice from a family nurse practitioner on how to handle this.

 

Take the time to listen and observe their reactions. Explain things as best you can in a reassuring tone, so your child feels comforted and supported while they process this new information. As adults, we play an important role in helping our children adjust to life with Asperger’s, and respecting their processing style is a crucial part of this journey.

How to Explain to Your Child

You need to prepare yourself first. Take some time to learn about Asperger’s, its symptoms, and how it affects your child. You may want to seek support from a therapist, counselor or support group. Gather your thoughts, practice what you’re going to say, and choose a time when you and your child are relaxed. Try to avoid distractions and create an atmosphere that is calm and focused.

 

When having the Asperger’s talk, avoid using complex medical jargon, instead, use simple language that your child can understand. You could start by explaining what Asperger's is: "Some people’s brains work differently, and that’s okay." Then you could share more specific examples of your child’s difficulties and differences, and how they make your child unique. You can also mention that many successful people, like Albert Einstein, have been diagnosed with Asperger's.

 

It’s also essential to emphasize that the diagnosis does not change who your child is or their worth. Explain that the diagnosis is just a label that can help people understand them better, and it opens up more resources and support available to them. End the conversation with an opportunity for your child to ask questions or share their thoughts and feelings. Listen to your child without judgment, and reassure them that you will continue to support them as they navigate their journey with Asperger’s.

Endnote

Telling your child about their Asperger’s diagnosis is a genuine expression of love and acceptance. While the conversation may feel challenging, it’s an essential step towards helping your child feel seen, heard, and supported. Remember to approach the conversation with an open mind, create a safe and relaxed environment, use simple language, and most importantly, listen to your child. By doing so, you can help your child navigate their Asperger’s journey with confidence and self-love.