My ASD Child: Search results for aggressive

Showing posts sorted by date for query aggressive. Sort by relevance Show all posts

Comprehensive Guide to Understanding ASD and Behavioral Challenges in Educational Settings

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a neurodevelopmental condition characterized by a broad spectrum of challenges that significantly influence an individual's ability to communicate, interact socially, and behave in a conventional manner.

The complexities of ASD can lead to a variety of behavioral issues, particularly in school environments where social expectations are often heightened. This article delves deeply into the behavioral challenges associated with ASD in schools, examining their nature, impacts on learning, and effective strategies for support and intervention.

### Key Characteristics of Autism Spectrum Disorder

ASD encompasses a wide variety of symptoms that can manifest differently in each individual. Understanding these characteristics is not just crucial, but empowering for educators and peers alike, as it equips them with the knowledge to provide effective support.

1. **Difficulties in Social Communication**: Children with ASD often face significant hurdles when it comes to social interaction. They may find it challenging to interpret non-verbal cues, such as facial expressions or gestures, leading to misunderstandings in social settings. Their attempts at conversation might lack the natural back-and-forth flow typical of peer interactions, resulting in feelings of isolation.

2. **Repetitive and Restrictive Behaviors**: Many children with ASD engage in repetitive movements, such as hand-flapping, rocking, or lining up objects. Additionally, they may develop an intense focus on specific interests, which can dominate their conversations and activities. These behaviors can lead to distress if their routine is disrupted, creating an emotional barrier to their learning.

3. **Sensory Processing Challenges**: Sensory sensitivities are common among children with ASD. They might experience discomfort or overwhelming sensations from lights, sounds, textures, or smells. For instance, the buzzing of fluorescent lights or the sound of a bell ringing can be unbearable, leading to anxiety that affects their ability to concentrate in class.

4. **Highly Variable Cognitive Abilities**: Cognitive capabilities in children with ASD can vary significantly, ranging from severe intellectual disability to exceptionally high abilities in specific areas, such as mathematics or music. Understanding where a child falls on this spectrum is essential for tailoring educational approaches that respect their cognitive strengths and weaknesses.

### Behavioral Problems Manifesting in School Environments

The behavioral challenges unique to children with ASD can present themselves in various forms in school settings, creating hurdles for both the students and the educators:

1. **Meltdowns and Shutdowns**: In an overstimulating environment, a child with ASD might experience a meltdown—an explosive reaction that could involve screaming, crying, or even aggressive behavior. Alternatively, they may shut down, withdrawing into themselves and becoming unresponsive. Such episodes are often rooted in sensory overload or emotional frustration.

2. **Avoidance of Social and Academic Activities**: Many students with ASD exhibit reluctance or outright refusal to participate in classrooms' social activities, particularly those that involve group work or discussions. This avoidance can stem from anxiety about social interactions or fear of being judged by peers, preventing them from fully engaging in the educational experience.

3. **Impulsivity and Inattention**: Students with ASD may struggle with impulsivity, leading to difficulties in following instructions or staying focused on tasks. They might blurt out answers before being called upon or drift off topic in discussions, disrupting the flow of instruction and leading to frustration among educators.

4. **Aggressive Outbursts**: Some children may express their frustration through aggressive behaviors. This could involve hitting, kicking, or throwing objects when they feel overwhelmed or when communication breakdowns occur. Such actions can generate a heightened sense of fear and discomfort among classmates.

5. **Social Isolation and Loneliness**: The unique communication styles and behaviors associated with ASD can lead to social isolation, where the child may struggle to connect with peers. This isolation can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and lead to a cycle of further withdrawal from social opportunities.

### Implications of Behavioral Challenges on Learning Outcomes

The behavioral issues arising from ASD have far-reaching effects on a child's educational experience. Frequent emotional outbursts can disrupt not only the learning process for the affected student but also that of their classmates. Moreover, avoidance of social engagement can hinder the acquisition of critical social skills, leaving the student ill-prepared for interactions outside the classroom. The resulting stigma and negative peer interactions can lead to significant challenges in mental health, including increased risk of anxiety and depression.

### Effective Strategies for Supporting Students with ASD

To effectively support students dealing with behavioral challenges due to Autism Spectrum Disorder, educators and caregivers must adopt a multifaceted approach that is tailored to the individual needs of each child. Several effective strategies include:

1. **Structured Learning Environments**: Establishing a predictable classroom routine greatly benefits children with ASD. Visual schedules that outline daily activities can offer clarity and reduce anxiety around transitions, allowing students to feel more secure in their learning environment.

Another effective strategy is the clear communication of behavioral expectations. Teachers should communicate their expectations clearly and consistently. This helps create a structured environment where children with ASD know what is expected of them, reducing stress and promoting confidence in their abilities.

3. **Sensory-Friendly Areas**: Designating a quiet space within the classroom where students can retreat when feeling overwhelmed can be invaluable. This sensory-friendly area should be equipped with calming tools, such as noise-canceling headphones, soft lighting, and stress-relief toys.

4. **Individualized Education Plans (IEPs)**: An IEP tailored to the child's unique abilities and challenges can facilitate appropriate accommodations, such as modified assignments, alternative learning methods, or additional support from a teaching aide. Regular reviews of the IEP can ensure that it continues to meet the child’s evolving needs.

5. **Social Skills Training Programs**: Implementing specific training programs that focus on teaching social skills can aid students with ASD in navigating social interactions. Techniques such as role-playing, using social stories, and peer mentoring are effective in enhancing their understanding of social norms.

6. **Collaborative Partnerships with Parents**: Strong communication between educators and parents is essential for creating a consistent approach to behavior management. Regular meetings to discuss effective strategies utilized at home can help foster an integrated support system for the child.

7. **Professional Development for Educators**: Offering ongoing training for teachers and staff about ASD can ensure they are well-equipped to understand and nurture the needs of students with this condition. This training fosters empathy and sensitivity, fostering a more inclusive classroom atmosphere.

Understanding and addressing the behavioral challenges associated with Autism Spectrum Disorder in school settings is vital for fostering a positive and productive educational experience. By recognizing the unique needs of these students and implementing targeted strategies, educators can create an inclusive environment where children with ASD can thrive academically and socially.

Through collaboration, sensitivity, and continuous support, we can ensure that all students, regardless of their challenges, have the opportunity to succeed and contribute positively to their school communities.

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Launching Adult Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social-Skills and Emotion-Management to Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...

Handling Aggressive Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder: An In-Depth Guide

Navigating the tumultuous waters of adolescence is challenging for any teenager, but it can be particularly daunting for those with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Aggressive behaviors may surface during this critical developmental phase for a variety of reasons, including difficulties in communication, sensory overload, significant changes in routine, and struggles with emotional regulation.

Understanding the roots of these aggressive tendencies and developing practical strategies to manage them can create a more harmonious environment for both teens and their families. Below is a comprehensive guide designed to assist parents, caregivers, and educators in addressing aggression in teens with ASD.

Understanding the Roots of Aggression: The Key to Empowerment

To effectively address aggressive outbursts, it’s crucial to identify and understand their underlying triggers:

1. **Communication Barriers**: Teens with ASD often experience challenges in articulating their feelings or needs verbally. This communication gap can lead to intense frustration and, ultimately, aggressive outbursts when they feel unheard or misunderstood.

2. **Sensory Sensitivities**: Many individuals on the autism spectrum possess heightened sensitivity to sensory stimuli. For instance, overwhelming lights, loud noises, or crowded settings can lead to sensory overload, pushing them to react aggressively as a means of coping with discomfort.

3. **Changes in Routine**: Adolescents with ASD typically thrive on predictability and routine; thus, unexpected changes—like a switch in school schedules, family dynamics, or even meal times—can provoke anxiety and lead to aggressive behaviors as a reaction to confusion or insecurity.

4. **Emotional Regulation**: Many teens on the spectrum find it challenging to recognize, interpret, and manage their emotions effectively. This difficulty often results in intense emotional responses in situations perceived as threatening or distressing.

5. **Social Interaction Challenges**: Misinterpretations in social situations can lead to feelings of exclusion or irritation. A misunderstanding on the playground or in the classroom can escalate quickly into aggressive actions stemming from frustration or anxiety about social interactions.

#### Strategies for Prevention and Management

1. **Create a Predictable Environment**:
   - **Establish Consistent Routines**: Implement daily schedules that are consistent and predictable. Utilize visual schedules with clear timeframes and activities to help the teen anticipate what comes next, reducing anxiety and uncertainty.
   - **Prepare for Changes**: When changes are unavoidable, take the time to prepare the teen. Use social stories—short narratives that describe a situation and appropriate responses—to help them understand and anticipate the adjustments.

2. **Enhance Communication Skills**:
   - **Alternative Communication Tools**: Invest in communication aids such as picture exchange communication systems (PECS) or mobile applications designed for non-verbal communication, which can empower the teen to express needs and feelings more effectively.
   - **Teach Emotion Recognition**: Utilize tools like emotion wheels or feelings charts to help the teen identify and name their emotions. Engage in role-playing scenarios to practice expressing these emotions in a safe and constructive manner.

3. **Develop Coping Strategies**:
   - **Introduce Relaxation Techniques**: Teach the teen various stress-relief practices, such as deep breathing exercises, guided imagery, or progressive muscle relaxation, which can help them calm down when they feel frustration mounting.
   - **Designate a Calming Space**: Create a "calm-down corner" equipped with sensory-friendly items like fidget toys, noise-canceling headphones, and weighted blankets. This designated space should be a safe retreat where the teen can go to de-escalate their feelings.

4. **Implement Positive Behavior Supports**:
   - **Reinforce Positive Behavior**: Focus on and encourage appropriate behavior by utilizing positive reinforcement techniques. For instance, a token economy system that rewards positive actions can significantly motivate a teen to adhere to expected behaviors.
   - **Establish Clear Expectations and Consequences**: Clearly lay out what behaviors are expected and what the consequences will be for aggressive actions. Consistency in applying these guidelines will help the teen understand boundaries.

5. **Teach Problem-Solving Skills**:
   - **Engage in Role-Playing Exercises**: Conduct role-playing exercises to practice responses to potential triggers or frustrating situations, giving the teen tools to handle conflicts more effectively.
   - **Create a “Calm-Down” Plan**: Collaboratively develop a personalized plan with the teen that outlines specific steps to take when they feel overwhelmed, including identifying preferred coping strategies they can turn to.

6. **Seek Professional Guidance**:
   - **Consider Behavioral Therapy**: Engaging a therapist who specializes in ASD can provide tailored strategies to help manage aggression. Therapeutic approaches like Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) can be particularly effective.
   - **Consult for Medication if Necessary**: For cases where anxiety or mood disorders severely impact behavior, consult with a psychiatrist experienced with ASD. Medication might support better emotional regulation, thus reducing aggressive episodes.

7. **Engage in Family Support**:
   - **Participate in Parent Training Programs**: Enroll in programs designed to educate parents on effective management strategies for challenging behaviors associated with ASD, equipping them with coping mechanisms.
   - **Join Support Groups**: Connecting with support groups can provide valuable opportunities for sharing experiences, offering insights, and fostering a sense of community among families facing similar struggles.

8. **Foster Social Skills Development**:
   - **Enroll in Social Skills Training**: Enrich the teen's social competence by introducing them to social skills groups where they can practice interactions in a structured environment, promoting effective communication and relationship-building.
   - **Facilitate Peer Relationships**: Encourage the formation of friendships by organizing activities that allow the teen to interact with peers who share similar interests, ensuring these experiences are positive and constructive.

#### When Aggression Occurs

In the unfortunate event of an aggressive outburst, it is essential to respond appropriately, keeping both the teen and others safe:

- **Stay Calm**: Your composure can significantly influence the situation. Use a soothing tone and body language to reassure the teen while maintaining a calm demeanor.
- **Ensure Safety**: Assess the environment to ensure everyone’s safety, removing any objects that could be used to cause harm during the outburst.
- **De-Escalate the Situation**: Implement de-escalation techniques, such as creating physical distance if needed, softly redirecting their focus, or guiding them to their calming area to promote tranquility.
- **Reflect Post-Incident**: After the situation has calmed down, engage the teen in a discussion about what triggered the aggressive behavior. Focus on identifying key triggers and brainstorming effective responses or coping mechanisms for the future.

Managing aggressive behaviors in teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder requires a thoughtful, multifaceted approach grounded in empathy, understanding, and structured support strategies. By enhancing communication, creating predictable environments, and teaching effective coping mechanisms, parents and caregivers can empower their teens to navigate the complexities of adolescence with greater confidence and resilience.

Education and ongoing support are invaluable—not only for the individuals with ASD but also for their families. Through the implementation of these strategies, challenging behaviors can be transformed into profound opportunities for personal growth, emotional connections, and understanding.

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:

More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:

---------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Click here for the full article...

ASD Meltdown-Management: Key Points for Parents of Kids on the Autism Spectrum

A meltdown is a condition where the youngster with ASD level 1, or High Functioning Autism, temporarily loses control due to emotional responses to environmental factors. It generally appears that the youngster has lost control over a single and specific issue, however this is very rarely the case.

Usually, the problem is the accumulation of a number of irritations which could span a fairly long period of time, particularly given the strong long-term memory abilities of young people on the autism spectrum.

Why The Problems Seem Hidden—

ASD kids don't tend to give a lot of clues that they are very irritated:

Often ASD child-grievances are aired as part of their normal conversation and may even be interpreted by NTs (i.e., neurotypicals, or people without autism) as part of their standard whining.
Some things which annoy ASD kids would not be considered annoying to NTs, and this makes NT's less likely to pick up on a potential problem.
Their facial expressions very often will not convey the irritation.
Their vocal tones will often remain flat even when they are fairly annoyed.

What Happens During A Meltdown—

The meltdown appears to most people as a temper tantrum. There are marked differences between adults and kids. Kids tend to flop onto the ground and shout, scream or cry. Quite often, they will display violent behavior such as hitting or kicking.

In adults, due to social pressures, violent behavior in public is less common. Shouting outbursts or emotional displays can occur though. More often, it leads to depression and the ASD man or woman simply retreats into themselves and abandons social contact.

Some ASD kids describe the meltdown as a red or grey band across the eyes. There is a loss of control and a feeling of being a powerless observer outside the body. This can be dangerous as the ASD youngster may strike out, particularly if the instigator is nearby or if the "Aspie" is taunted during a meltdown.

Depression—

Sometimes, depression is the only outward visible sign of a meltdown. At other times, depression results when the ASD youngster leaves the meltdown state and confronts the results of the meltdown. The depression is a result of guilt over abusive, shouting or violent behavior.

Dealing With Meltdowns—

Unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do when a meltdown occurs in a child on the autism spectrum. The best thing you can do is to train yourself to recognize a meltdown before it happens and take steps to avoid it.

Example from one mother: "ASD kids are quite possessive about their food, and my autistic child will sometimes decide that he does not want his meat to be cut up for him. When this happens, taking his plate from him and cutting his meat could cause a full-blown meltdown. The best way to deal with this is to avoid touching it for the first part of the meal until he starts to want my involvement. When this occurs, instead of taking his plate from him, it is more effective to lean over and help him to cut the first piece. Once he has cut the first piece with help, he will often allow the remaining pieces to be cut for him."

Once the youngster reaches an age where they can understand (around age 4 or so), you can work on explaining the situation. One way you could do this would be to discreetly videotape a meltdown and allow them to watch it at a later date. You could then discuss the incident, explain why it isn't socially acceptable, and give them some alternatives.

One adult "Aspie" stated the following:

"When I was little, I remember that the single best motivation for keeping control was once when my mother called me in after play and talked about the day. In particular, she highlighted an incident where I had fallen down and hurt myself. She said, 'Did you see how your friend started to go home as soon as you fell down because they were scared that you were going to have a meltdown?' She went on to say, 'When you got up and laughed, they were so happy that they came racing back. I'm proud of you for controlling your emotions.' That was a good moment for me that day. It really gave me some insight into how I tended to respond quickly without much forethought. I carried this with me for years later and would always strive to contain myself. I wouldn't always succeed, but at least I was trying."

Meltdowns And Punishment—

One of the most important things to realize is that meltdowns are part of the ASD condition. You can't avoid them; merely try to reduce the damage. Punishing an ASD youngster for a meltdown is like punishing someone for swearing when they hit their thumb with a hammer. It won't do any good whatsoever and can only serve to increase the distance between you and your youngster.

In addition, meltdowns aren't wholly caused by the current scenario, but are usually the result of an overwhelming number of other issues. The one which "causes" the meltdown is the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Unless you're a mind reader, you won't necessarily know what the other factors are, and your ASD youngster may not be able to fully communicate the problem.

Every teacher of ASD students and every mom or dad of an ASD child can expect to witness some meltdowns. On average, meltdowns are equally common in boys and girls, and more than half of autistic kids will have one or more per week.

At home, there are predictable situations that can be expected to trigger meltdowns, for example:

bath time
bedtime
car rides
dinner time
family activities involving siblings
family visiting another house
getting dressed
getting up
interactions with peers
mom or dad talking on the phone
playtime
public places
visitors at the house
watching TV

Other settings include:

answering questions in class
directives from the teacher
getting ready to work
group activities
individual seat work
interactions with other children
on the school bus
the playground
transitions between activities

From time to time, all ASD kids will whine, complain, resist, cling, argue, hit, shout, run, and defy authority figures. Meltdowns, although normal, can become upsetting to parents and teachers because they are embarrassing, challenging, and difficult to manage. Also, meltdowns can become particularly difficult to manage when they occur with greater frequency, intensity, and duration than is typical for the age of the ASD kid.

There are nine different types of temperaments in kids on the spectrum:

1. Distracted temperament predisposes the kid to pay more attention to his or her surroundings than to the caregiver.

2. High-intensity level temperament moves the kid to yell, scream, or hit hard when feeling threatened.

3. Hyperactive temperament predisposes the kid to respond with fine- or gross-motor activity.

4. Initial withdrawal temperament is found when kids get clingy, shy, and unresponsive in new situations and around unfamiliar people.

5. Irregular temperament moves the kid to escape the source of stress by needing to eat, drink, sleep, or use the bathroom at irregular times when he or she does not really have the need.

6. Low sensory threshold temperament is evident when the kid complains about tight clothes and people staring and refuses to be touched by others.

7. Negative mood temperament is found when kids appear lethargic, sad and lack the energy to perform a task.

8. Negative persistent temperament is seen when the kid seems stuck in his or her whining and complaining.

9. Poor adaptability temperament shows itself when kids resist, shut down, and become passive-aggressive when asked to change activities.

Around age 2, some ASD kids will start having what I refer to as "normal meltdowns." These bouts can last until approximately age 4. Some parents (thinking in terms of temper tantrums) mistakenly call this stage "the terrible twos," and others call it "first adolescence" because the struggle for independence is similar to what is seen during adolescence. Regardless of what the stage is called, there is a normal developmental course for meltdowns in children on the autism spectrum.

Children on the spectrum during this stage will test the limits. They want to see how far they can go before mom or dad stops their behavior. At age 2, ASD kids are very egocentric and can't see another person’s point of view. They want independence and self-control to explore their environment. When they can't reach a goal, they show frustration by crying, arguing, yelling, or hitting. When their need for independence collides with the parents' needs for safety and conformity, the conditions are perfect for a power struggle and a meltdown.

A meltdown is designed to get the parents to desist in their demands or give the child what he or she wants. Many times, ASD kids stop the meltdown only when they get what is desired. What is most upsetting to parents is that it is virtually impossible to reason with ASD kids who are having a meltdown. Arguing and cajoling in response to a meltdown only escalates the problem.

By age 3, many young people on the spectrum are less impulsive and can use language to express their needs. Meltdowns at this age are often less frequent and less severe. Nevertheless, some preschoolers have learned that a meltdown is a good way to get what they want.

By age 4, most ASD kids have the necessary motor and physical skills to meet many of their own needs without relying so much on the parent. At this age, these young people also have better language that allows them to express their anger and to problem-solve and compromise. Despite these improved skills, even kindergarten-age and school-age ASD kids can still have meltdowns when they are faced with demanding academic tasks and new interpersonal situations in school.

It is much easier to “prevent” meltdowns than it is to manage them once they have erupted. Here are some tips for preventing meltdowns and some things you can say:

1. Avoid boredom. Say, “You have been working for a long time. Let’s take a break and do something fun.”

2. Change environments, thus removing the child from the source of the meltdown. Say, “Let’s go for a walk.”

3. Choose your battles. Teach them how to make a request without a meltdown and then honor the request. Say, “Try asking for that toy nicely and I’ll get it for you.”

4. Create a safe environment that these children can explore without getting into trouble. Childproof your home or classroom so they can explore safely.

5. Distract them by redirection to another activity when they meltdown over something they should not do or can't have. Say, “Let’s read a book together.”

6. Do not "ask" ASD kids to do something when they must do what you ask. Do not ask, “Would you like to eat now?” Say, “It's dinnertime now.”

7. Establish routines and traditions that add structure. For teachers, start class with a sharing time and opportunity for interaction.

8. Give these children control over little things whenever possible by giving choices. A little bit of power given to the kid can stave-off the big power struggles later (e.g., “Which do you want to do first, brush your teeth or put on your pajamas?”).

9. Increase your tolerance level. Are you available to meet the ASD kid’s reasonable needs? Evaluate how many times you say, “No.” Avoid fighting over minor things.

10. Keep a sense of humor to divert the child's attention and surprise him or her out of the meltdown.

11. Keep off-limit objects out of sight and therefore out of mind. In an art activity, keep the scissors out of reach if the child is not ready to use them safely.

12. Make sure that ASD kids are well rested and fed in situations in which a meltdown is a likely possibility. Say, “Dinner is almost ready, here’s a cracker for now.”

13. Provide pre-academic, behavioral, and social challenges that are at the ASD kid’s developmental level so that he or she doesn't become frustrated.

14. Reward them for positive attention rather than negative attention. During situations when they are prone to meltdowns, catch them when they are being good and say things like, “Nice job sharing with your friend.”

15. Signal them before you reach the end of an activity so that they can get prepared for the transition. Say, “When the timer goes off 5 minutes from now, it will be time to turn off the TV and go to bed.”

16. When visiting new places or unfamiliar people, explain to the child beforehand what to expect. Say, “Stay with your assigned buddy in the museum.”

There are a number of ways to “handle” a meltdown that is already underway. Strategies include the following:

1. Hold the ASD kid who is out of control and is going to hurt himself or herself (or someone else). Let the child know that you will let him or her go as soon as he or she calms down. Reassure the child that everything will be all right, and help him or her calm down. Moms and dads may need to hug their Aspergers kid who is crying, and say they will always love him or her no matter what, but that the behavior has to change. This reassurance can be comforting for an Aspergers kid who may be afraid because he or she lost control.

2. If the youngster has escalated the meltdown to the point where you are not able to intervene in the ways described above, then you may need to direct the child to time-out. If you are in a public place, carry your child outside or to the car. Tell him that you will go home unless he calms down. In school, warn the student up to three times that it is necessary to calm down, and give a reminder of the rule. If the student refuses to comply, then place him in time-out for no more than 1 minute for each year of age.

3. Remain calm and do not argue. Before you manage her, you must manage your own behavior. Punishing or yelling at the child during a meltdown will make it worse.

4. Talk with the child after he has calmed down. When he stops crying, talk about the frustration the he has experienced. Try to help solve the problem if possible. For the future, teach the child new skills to help avoid meltdowns (e.g., how to ask appropriately for help, how to signal an adult that he needs to go to “time away” to “stop, think, and make a plan” ...and so on). Teach the Aspergers kid how to try a more successful way of interacting with a peer or sibling, how to express his feelings with words, and recognize the feelings of others without hitting and screaming.

5. Think before you act. Count to 10 and then think about the source of the ASD kid’s frustration, the child’s characteristic temperamental response to stress (e.g., hyperactivity, distractibility, moodiness, etc.), and the predictable steps in the escalation of the meltdown.

6. Try to intervene before the youngster is out of control. Get down at her eye level and say, “You are starting to get revved up, let's slow down.” Now you have several choices of intervention.

7. You can ignore the meltdown if it is being thrown to get your attention. Once the ASD kid calms down, you can give the attention that is desired.

8. You can place the youngster in "time away." Time away is a quiet place where he goes to calm down, think about what he needs to do, and with your help, make a plan to change the behavior.

9. You can positively distract the child by getting her focused on something else that is an acceptable activity (e.g., remove the unsafe item and replace with an age-appropriate game).

Post-Meltdown Management—

1. Do not reward the child after a meltdown for calming down. Some kids will learn that a meltdown is a good way to get a treat later.

2. Explain to the child that there are better ways to get what she wants.

3. Never let the meltdown interfere with your otherwise positive relationship with your child.

4. Never, under any circumstances, give in to a meltdown. That response will only increase the number and frequency of the meltdowns.

5. Teach the youngster that anger is a feeling that we all have, and then teach her ways to express anger constructively.

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD

----------

Best Comment—

My name is Sharon, I have been with Elliott for over ten years and we have a son Brandon who is 6 yr old. They both have aspergers syndrome we are awaiting Brandon’s appointment with the paediatrician consultant for diagnosis, but I am 110% sure it will be aspergers. I am feeling in the thick of it of late I have and am constantly looking for local support and forums online etc to reach out for guidance and any support also to offer my own support to others. I am a person centred therapist and in the past have worked in supporting children and adults on the autistic spectrum, I do have a good insight into the autistic spectrum but nothing prepares you for how it feels actually living 24/7 with it.

Firstly the biggest part for me is the heart break and hurt I feel for my son, then the worry and concern how he will get along in life. I am very pro active and of late have worked well with school to best advise them how we support Brandon’s needs it’s been an uphill struggle for the last year especially as they don't seem to have the knowledge or the amenities to support him.

I have been called to school several times of late because of his "disruptive" behaviour,, basically his stimming he does get louder if in a louder environment the teachers know this is a trigger and he is left alone to deal with this instead of being prepared for a change of noise or scenery or even a much needed teaching assistant who could work alongside him. If he gets too disruptive he is taken out of the class environment for "time out" is this a good way of dealing with it? As we have told school time out at home is if he is naughty, which generally he is never naughty. we have what we call quiet time at home where sometimes when he feels over load we just find a quiet place to sit together and relax or read whatever he wants really but it brings him down and more settled to cope better.

Again it will mean another meeting or ten..... To resolve or make a better learning environment for Brandon. They say they can’t do anything till he’s been statemented and funded for an assistant or further support. But they will assist him as best they can and I do feel listened to but there is of late something new nearly every day that needs adaption which imp fine with I am aware he defiantly needs some support. I have been on an emotional roller coaster.

It feels so isolating as support around this neck of woods is minimal. Brandon’s upset of late is his lack of friends he just wants his family to be at school all day every day his words because we love him! So the social aspect this is. So I discussed with head teacher and she has set a buddy system up for him its yet to be seen to be working, as I know how difficult it is for Brandon to mix and communicate with his peers and when he does he gets rejected.

We have tried so many routes with this he seems to connect with kids in play areas as he and they are generally being quite boisterous but its time limited so he feels less pressure. We are also in process of groups i.e. dancing as he loves to dance (street dance) and maybe other recreations of his choice. It feels like a very long a winding road what we are on I know I haven't spoke much bout Elliott having spent ten years with him would have thought Brandon’s aspergers may come easier to me understanding wise yes but on a personal level it’s so upsetting.

Other points are his eating habits he is a very bland eater and eats the same few foods we supplement with vitamins he is quite small in frame but eats quite well the foods he does enjoy think they call it the beige diet he has no colour in his food at all (pasta, no sauce, chicken nuggets, crisps plain flavour, crumpets, bread, some types of rice, certain chocolate, milk, Yorkshire puddings) there’s a few more but as you can see limited. We have tried so many different ways to entice him I would be grateful if you could give me any tips.

Feels like I am going on now, the list goes on his sensory issues really do dictate to him and us how the day goes sometimes, and he is becoming more and more aware of his stims and repetitive behaviour today its clapping and repeating words it was a machine gun noise (constantly)and random moves it varies from day. I feel I need more guidance in how to help/support Brandon. The melt downs are becoming more and more but he only does this with his dad I have a calming effect as soon as he starts in melt down they pretty much calm after I’ve been around him a few minutes. The routines he has etc seem to help a lot too.

If you can pull anything out of this letter and feedback I would be grateful there will be things I have missed but feel free to ask me any further questions. He also as 3 older step siblings 15, 19, 21 and they are very loving and supportive with him and very understanding. He as a great relationship with all of us in our family unit. Feels like the outside world is a daunting prospect right now.

More comments below...

Sibling Relationship Issues: Message to Parents of Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

"Any tips for helping my two older children (not autistic) to have a little more compassion for their younger brother who does have autism? I try to help everyone get along, but it is wearing me out. Playing peace-maker is definitely my toughest job at present. Help!"

Parenting in general can be overwhelming. Add autism (ASD Level 1) to the equation, and the job just got tougher!

Taking care of a youngster on the autism spectrum can take up the vast majority of the parent's time and energy. From learning everything you can about the condition and what it entails ...to various doctor and specialist appointments ...to seeing about special accommodations both at home and at school, the list of things that must be done can seem endless. Fitting time and effort into more than cursory attention to your neurotypical (i.e., non-autistic) kids who are also under your care can easily fall by the wayside without you realizing it.

Sibling relationships can be challenging when one child has ASD. Siblings often do not understand this disorder and the challenges that it creates. Also, the child with the disorder may take attention away from the other children, and may even embarrass them because of his or her inappropriate behavior. The family as a whole will face challenges beyond those of the typical family.

Siblings of a child with ASD may:

Be overly helpful to get attention
Feel alone or jealous
Feel angry towards their sibling
Feel embarrassed or bitter when they have to include their sibling in social situations
Feel guilty for not having the disorder
Feel resentful for having to care for their sibling

Sometimes the jealousy and resentment comes not so much from the extra time or attention their "special needs" sibling gets, but from a lack of understanding about why he gets that extra time or attention. Siblings might understand that their autistic brother or sister has a developmental disorder, but not understand the full effects of what that means. So, have them help you care for their sibling.

Maybe your neurotypical children can help with homework, or accompany you to a doctor visit or therapist appointment to see what really happens there. You certainly don't want to make any of this their full time responsibility, but by doing it once or twice, it can help open their eyes up to just why it is that you have to devote the extra time or attention to their autistic sibling. It can also make them more compassionate to autistic kids in general.

Being organized is essential. Keep track of your efforts. One of the best things any mother or father can do to is to schedule not only doctor and other appointments, but also certain events such as playtime. Be sure to set aside time for each child individually, at least once a week if not more, along with other family time. This does not mean you can’t be spontaneous, but it does allow breaks in your busy pace to occur more often if you purposely pen them in between all the other appointments.

Don't be afraid to talk about the disorder and the effects it is having on your family. Siblings need to understand this disorder to the extent that they can, based on their developmental stages.

Sibling rivalry can be a healthy sign, as it is common in all families and indicates that the youngster with ASD is being treated as any other sibling would. However, recognizing that this child can present some very real and challenging behaviors, it is important to prevent aggressive behaviors.

A social story for neurotypical siblings:

* More information on this issue can be found here: Helping Non-Autistic Children Cope with Their ASD Sibling

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD

----------

Here's what other parents have had to say:

•    Anonymous said... Finding balance is a difficult thing. I know that my 10 year old feels I give his younger brother (9 year old with ASD) much more of my time and its probably true. It's a tough situation to always be in. I've talked to my oldest about the challenges our youngest deals with and he'll give his brother a break for a liitle while, but before you know it...he's right back to pushing his brother's buttons. So wish I could have a day of peace.

•    Anonymous said... That is a tough job and it will wear you down real fast and in a hurry. My family has gotten a lot of help from ICM's and other therapists and still at times I want to pull my hair out but I do my best to be patient. It's hard being the only peace maker in the home and it's even harder when others do not want to understand. That's the case in my home anyway. Sometimes there's just not enough caring to go around. My oldest son has Aspergers and he's 14 and slowly I have learned to live with certain things and deal with things when it comes to him but when it comes to others in my home I almost have no tolerance for their actions and behaviors towards my oldest son. Sometimes I feel he is picked on just to get a rise out of him and if it wasn't for the help we get I would have already went crazy. I count on resources a lot and I am always looking for more ways to help my son and help my family.

•    Anonymous said... I'm having the same issue with my 15 year old daughter and 8 year old son who has Aspergers. He isn't on any meds yet due to his father...going to meet with the dr Saturday and Dr will emphasise the importance of it.

•    Anonymous said... My older daughter doesn't have asperger's but my son does and it has caused a lot of jealousy. I have had to explain to her that he get more time with certian things because that helps him be equal to her. She should be glad that she doesn't have those same problems to overcome and should be happy for that. No one expects her to answer for him.

•    Missy said... Mine is the other way around--DD15 has Asperger's, while DD11 is neurotypical. DD11 struggles at times to understand why her sister is treated differently than she is. DD11 has had to grow up in a hurry, having to help take care of her older sister at times.

•    Unknown said...I'm having a tough time. My 20 yr old son has just been diagnosed with aspergers. His 17 yr old brother is increasing intolerant and has a sharp tongue sometimes making derogatory comments which result in fights. Any advice please I'm desperate .

Post your comment below…

Calming Techniques for Kids on the Autism Spectrum

"How do you deal with an autistic child (age 5) who frequently has severe temper tantrums whenever she doesn't get her way, for example, can't play here favorite game 24/7?"

In order to understand what calming techniques will work with your ASD (high functioning autistic) child, you will first need to determine what things irritate her and have some understanding of the context in which she is throwing a tantrum.

While she is calm, make sure your child knows what the expectations are, but don't confuse the issue with trying to talk to her about things at a time when she is already upset.

Here's a basic plan:

Recognize the signs (e.g., facial expressions) and triggers (e.g., transitioning from one activity to the next) that your child is becoming upset, and intervene prior to a tantrum. Try to redirect her to an alternative activity, something that she enjoys.

If "redirecting" does not stop the tantrum, tell her to stop. Don’t add any extras, just STOP (calming and directly).

If she still doesn't stop, remove her from the area in which the tantrum is taking place. Provide some physical redirection to an area where she can calm down. It can be very effective to call this her SAFE place. It may include a bean-bag chair where she can sit. But, eliminate any extras in the area, such as toys or other preferred items.

If she doesn’t voluntarily go to her SAFE place, physically escort her there.

Tell her she must be calm for 5 minutes before she can get up.

This may seem like a overly simple process in order to deal with what may be a challenging behavior. The key is to be consistent so that your child will always know what is coming. If the child is in school, try to provide this program across all environments.

It is amazing how many children on the autism spectrum will actually learn to go to their SAFE place independently as a way for them to control themselves. (Tip: They LOVE structure and routine!) You want your child to self-monitor her behavior, and you want to show her that you believe she has the ability to calm herself down.

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD

COMMENTS:

•   Anonymous said... We also struggle with tantrums and even rage with our 8 year old son. I agree with setting clear limits. Zoe, can you give me an example of emotional regulation? Im not sure i know what that means.
•   Anonymous said... Trying to stop it before my 6yr son goes over the hill has not been easy for me,
•   Anonymous said... Let me know...my 10yo aspie is getting too aggressive for me.
•   Anonymous said... Lately its been take the flight system before the storm hits, I ask him whats wrong or what happend, and sometimes he can express bit other times it break or throw things,,,
•   Anonymous said... get some some books or flyers on how to calm down, even picture stories. During calm days talk about other options for dealing with there own stresses better, taking a deep breath, counting to 10, walk away, dive into a bean bag, give them alternative options, ask them to use words to tell you what's bothering them. Then at times of tantrum calmly remind them of the other options, guide them, it will take time. You have to also understand why the tantrum is taking place as you may deal with different tantrums in different ways, for example is it too much sensory stimuli, boredom, just plain refusal, what happened before the tantrum etc. My son used to have very long tantrums, we worked on this for about 2+ years, he still has some but they have reduced considerably in how often and for how long. It took a lot of consistency, guidance and repetition to see improvement, it won't happen overnight. I am not talking about the typical kind of tantrums that you see in kids, children with HFA/Aspergers can, as you know, have tantrums that are on a whole other level.
•   Anonymous said... Assertive limit setting works for me - acknowledging and validating the childs feelings and difficulty but setting firm limits around what kind of behaviour is and isn't acceptable. We also work on emotional regulation and perspective-taking as a backdrop to this.

Post your comment below…

Characteristics of Females with ASD Level 1

"We think our daughter may have a form of autism due to her severe shyness, excessive need to have things just so, certain rituals she has with food, major touch sensitivity, a lot of anxiety, just to name a few. What are some of the signs to look for to help us decide if an assessment is in order?"

Females with ASD, or High-Functioning Autism. often present with a unique set of characteristics that can make diagnosing their disorder very difficult. In addition, their strengths often mask their deficits.

There has been considerable discussion among professionals about the way girls with ASD demonstrate their major characteristics. Some girls have obvious social difficulties, whereas others appear to have excellent skills because they imitate the behaviors of others (often without understanding them).

There are many females who do not receive a diagnosis, possibly because, compared to males, (a) they have fairly good social skills (particularly when interacting with adults in a one-to-one situation), (b) their special interests are different, and (c) their clinical presentation is different.

Sometime during childhood, a female with autistic traits will begin to know she is different compared to her peers. For example:

1. Due to adopting an alternative persona, she may begin to have problems of self-identity and low self-esteem

2. Due to observing and analyzing social behavior and trying not to make a social error, she may become emotionally exhausted

3. During the stress of adolescence, she may develop routines and rituals around food and a special interest in calories and nutrition that develops into the signs of an eating disorder

4. Her interests may be different to her peers in terms of intensity and quality of play

5. She may be an avid observer of human behavior and try to decipher what she is supposed to do or say

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism

6. She may be extremely sensitive to the emotional atmosphere at a social gathering

7. She may be like a chameleon, changing persona according to the situation

8. She may be more likely to apologize and appease when making a social error

9. She may be overly well-behaved and compliant at school so as not to be noticed or recognized as a different.

10. She may be vulnerable to “peer predators” who take advantage of her social immaturity

11. She may become increasingly aware of her social confusion and frequent faux pas, and thus prefer to be on the periphery of social situations

12. She may enjoy living in a fantasy world and creating a new persona

13. She may escape into the world of nature, having an intuitive understanding of animals, but not people

14. She may fear that her “true self” must remain secret because she is defective, thus she is almost always acting like someone else

15. She may have a pet that she views as a loyal friend

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

16. She may have a single - but intense – friendship with another female who may provide guidance for her in social situations

17. She may have a strong desire to collect and organize her toys (e.g., dolls) rather than to share her toys with friends

18. She may have an aversion to the traditional concept of femininity

19. She may have an encyclopedic knowledge of specific topics

20. She may have an intense interest in reading and escaping into fiction

21. She may have an interest in ancient civilizations to find an old world in which she would feel at home

22. She may have an interest in other countries (e.g., France) where she would be accepted

23. She may identify with a fictional character (e.g., Harry Potter), who faces adversity but has special powers and friends

24. She may not be interested in the latest craze among her peers to be 'cool' and popular

25. She may not identify with her peers

26. She may not play with her toys in conventional ways

27. She may not want to play cooperatively with her peers

28. She may prefer non-gender specific toys (e.g., Lego)

29. She may prefer to play alone so that she can play her way

30. She may prefer to play with males, whose play is more constructive and adventurous than emotional and conversational

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with ASD

31. She may suffer social confusion in silence and isolation in the classroom or playground, but she may be a different character at home

32. She may talk to imaginary friends, or write fiction at an early age

33. She may think that the way her peers play is stupid and boring

34. She may use imaginary friends that can provide companionship, support and comfort when she feels lonely

35. She may use passive-aggressive behaviors in order to control her family and/or social experiences

As young girls, many (but not all) females with ASD:

1. Apologize frequently and want to please others

2. Are an expert on certain topics

3. Are determined

4. Are honest

5. Are involved in social play, but are led by their peers rather than initiating social contact

6. Are kind

7. Are misunderstood by peers

8. Are more able to follow social actions by delayed imitation because they observe other kids and copy them, perhaps masking the symptoms of autism

9. Are more aware of - and feel a need to - interact socially

10. Are perfectionists

11. Are so successful at "faking it" that they only come to the attention of a therapist when a secondary mood disorder emerges

12. Are specially gifted in the areas of mathematics and engineering

13. Are very good at art

14. Are visual thinkers

15. Are well-liked by adults

16. Become a target of teasing

17. Do not ‘do social chit chat’ or make ‘meaningless’ comments in order to facilitate social communication

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

18. Enjoy solitude

19. Have a faster rate of learning social skills than males

20. Have a single friend who provides guidance and security for them

21. Have a special interest that is more likely to be unusual in terms of intensity rather than focus

22. Have difficulty knowing what someone else may be thinking or feeling

23. Have difficulty making friends

24. Have difficulty managing feelings

25. Have difficulty showing as much affection as others expect

26. Have difficulty taking advice

27. Have difficulty with writing skills

28. Have extremely detailed imaginary worlds

29. Have imaginary friends

30. Have interests that are very similar to those of neurotypical girls (e.g., animals, dolls, classical literature), and therefore are not seen as unusual

31. Have what is classified as a "male brain"

32. Make reliable and trustworthy friends

33. Mimic or even try to take on all the characteristics of someone they are trying to emulate

34. Notice sounds that others do not hear

35. Read fiction to help them learn about inner thoughts, feelings and motivations

36. Show little interest in fashion

37. Speak their minds (sometimes to the point of being rude)

38. Still need to be directly taught certain social skills

39. Try to understand a situation before they make the first step

40. Use doll play to replay and understand social situations

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:

My ASD Child

Search This Blog

Comprehensive Guide to Understanding ASD and Behavioral Challenges in Educational Settings

Handling Aggressive Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder: An In-Depth Guide

ASD Meltdown-Management: Key Points for Parents of Kids on the Autism Spectrum

Sibling Relationship Issues: Message to Parents of Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Calming Techniques for Kids on the Autism Spectrum

Characteristics of Females with ASD Level 1

Creative Strategies for Promoting Independence in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)