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The Challenges Faced by Teenagers with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

As the incidence of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) continues to rise, it has become increasingly important to understand the challenges faced by teenagers on the spectrum. 
 
Navigating adolescence is a daunting task for all teens, but those with ASD face unique hurdles that can affect their emotional, social, and academic development. This article will delve into the multifaceted challenges that ASD teenagers encounter today.

 1. Social Interaction Difficulties

One of the most profound challenges faced by teenagers with ASD is social interaction. Social cues, body language, and the nuances of peer communication can be perplexing for these individuals. Many teenagers with ASD may struggle to initiate conversations, read social signals, or maintain friendships. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. Adolescents are often keenly aware of their differences compared to their peers, which can exacerbate feelings of exclusion.

Moreover, social expectations during the teenage years become more complex, often involving nuances in relationships, dating, and group dynamics. For a teenager with ASD, understanding and navigating these evolving social landscapes can be particularly overwhelming, leading to social anxiety or withdrawal.

 2. Bullying and Peer Victimization

Teenagers with ASD are particularly vulnerable to bullying. Their differences in communication and behavior can sometimes make them targets for bullies, leading to increased rates of victimization. This bullying can take various forms, including verbal abuse, social exclusion, and physical intimidation.

Victims of bullying often face significant mental health challenges, including depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts. The impact of bullying can deter teenagers with ASD from engaging in social settings or school activities, further isolating them and negatively affecting their self-esteem and mental well-being.

 3. Academic Challenges

Academic performance can also be a significant challenge for teenagers with ASD. Many students with ASD have average to above-average intelligence, yet they may struggle with executive functioning skills, organization, and time management. The school environment can be chaotic and overwhelming, leading to difficulties in focusing and processing information.

Additionally, standard educational practices do not always account for the specific needs of students with ASD. Some may require tailored teaching methods or accommodations that are not readily provided. The lack of understanding and support from educators can hinder academic success and lead to frustration and disengagement from school.

 4. Co-Occurring Mental Health Issues

The prevalence of mental health issues is notably higher among teenagers with ASD compared to their neurotypical peers. Common co-occurring conditions include anxiety disorders, depression, and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). The pressures of adolescence, coupled with the intrinsic challenges of ASD, can lead to increased vulnerability to mental health issues.

Support systems, including counseling and therapy, are essential for helping these individuals cope with their feelings and experiences. However, access to mental health services can be limited, particularly in areas lacking specialized professionals familiar with ASD.

 5. Transitioning to Adulthood

As teenagers with ASD approach adulthood, they face significant challenges related to transitioning into independent living, vocational training, and post-secondary education. The transition process can be chaotic and daunting, requiring guidance and planning. Many teenagers with ASD may not receive adequate vocational training that matches their skills and interests, making the shift to the workforce difficult.

Furthermore, the lack of community programs for individuals with ASD can leave many teenagers without the necessary support to navigate adulthood successfully. This transition period can often be fraught with anxiety, uncertainty, and a fear of the unknown.

 6. Family Dynamics and Support

The challenges faced by teenagers with ASD also extend to their families. Parents and siblings may struggle to provide the emotional and practical support required by the teenager. Families often experience stress and anxiety regarding their child's future, leading to a complicated family dynamic.

Siblings may feel isolated, as they often bear the burden of understanding and accommodating their brother or sister's needs. Effective family communication and support networks are crucial for helping both teenagers with ASD and their families navigate these challenges.

 7. Lack of Awareness and Understanding

Despite increasing awareness of ASD, misconceptions and stereotypes persist. Teens with ASD may find themselves battling stereotypes that paint them as socially inept or overly reliant on routines. Such stereotypes can hinder their ability to form relationships and be accepted by their peers, as understanding of their unique abilities and perspectives may be lacking.

Educational institutions, workplaces, and communities must work toward greater inclusivity and understanding to create environments where teenagers with ASD can thrive. Increasing awareness can help foster acceptance and encourage neurotypical peers to engage positively with their ASD counterparts.

In summary, the challenges faced by teenagers with Autism Spectrum Disorder are numerous and complex, impacting various aspects of their lives. By understanding these challenges, society can take meaningful steps to support teenagers with ASD, ensuring they navigate adolescence with greater confidence, acceptance, and opportunities for success. Community resources, supportive educational environments, and a greater awareness of ASD can make a significant difference in the lives of these teens, allowing them to embrace their individuality and potential.

 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here
to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...

Working with Your ASD Child's School to Develop Inclusive Practice

Working with your autistic child's school to develop inclusive practice is essential for ensuring that your child receives the support they need to thrive in an educational environment. Collaboration between parents and school staff is key to creating a positive and inclusive experience for autistic students.

One of the first steps in working with your child's school is to establish open communication with teachers, administrators, and support staff. This can involve setting up regular meetings to discuss your child's progress, challenges, and any additional support they may require. It's important to approach these discussions with a collaborative mindset, seeking to understand the school's perspective while also advocating for your child's needs.

In addition to open communication, providing the school with relevant information about your child's strengths, challenges, and individual learning style can be incredibly valuable. This can include sharing any assessment reports, behavior plans, or strategies that have been successful in supporting your child in other settings. The more information the school has about your child, the better equipped they will be to create an inclusive learning environment.

Creating a strong partnership with your child's school also involves working together to develop and implement individualized supports and accommodations. This can include strategies for managing sensory sensitivities, social skills development, and academic adaptations. By collaborating with the school to develop these supports, you can ensure that your child's unique needs are being met in the classroom.

Furthermore, it's important to stay informed about your child's rights and the available resources within the school system. This may involve familiarizing yourself with special education laws and regulations, as well as seeking out community organizations or support groups that can provide guidance and advocacy.

The 504 Plan—

A 504 Plan is a legal document that outlines accommodations and modifications for students with disabilities in the school setting. It ensures that these students have equal access to education and are provided with the necessary support to succeed academically. When creating a 504 Plan, it's important to include the following key components:

1. **Student Information:** Begin the 504 Plan with detailed information about the student, including their name, grade, and specific disability or medical condition. This section should also include a summary of how the disability affects the student's learning and educational experience.

2. **List of Accommodations:** Clearly outline the accommodations and modifications that will be provided to support the student's needs. This may include adjustments to the learning environment, changes to testing procedures, additional time for assignments, preferential seating, or assistive technology.

3. **Responsibilities:** Specify the responsibilities of teachers, school staff, and other relevant individuals in implementing the accommodations and supporting the student. It's important to ensure that everyone involved understands their role in the 504 Plan.

4. **Emergency Plan:** If the student has a medical condition that may require emergency intervention, include a section outlining specific steps to be taken in case of an emergency. This may involve training staff on how to respond to medical situations or providing access to necessary medical supplies.

5. **Progress Monitoring:** Establish a plan for monitoring the student's progress and the effectiveness of the accommodations. This could involve regular check-ins, assessments, or evaluations to determine if the accommodations are meeting the student's needs.

6. **Transition Plans:** If applicable, include transition plans for significant transitions such as moving from one grade level to another or from one school to another. This ensures that the accommodations and support continue as the student progresses through their education.

7. **Parent and Student Involvement:** Clearly outline how parents or guardians and the student (if appropriate) will be involved in the 504 Plan process. This may include regular communication, participation in meetings, and providing input on the effectiveness of the accommodations.

8. **Confidentiality:** Address the confidentiality of the student's 504 Plan, ensuring that only those who have a legitimate need to know are aware of its contents.

Creating a comprehensive and detailed 504 Plan is crucial in providing students with the support they need to thrive in an educational setting.

Ultimately, working with your autistic child's school to develop inclusive practice requires ongoing communication, collaboration, and a shared commitment to supporting your child's educational journey. By working together with school staff, parents can help create an environment where autistic students are valued, supported, and given the opportunity to succeed.


 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here
to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...

ASD Meltdown-Management: Key Points for Parents of Kids on the Autism Spectrum

A meltdown is a condition where the youngster with ASD level 1, or High Functioning Autism, temporarily loses control due to emotional responses to environmental factors. It generally appears that the youngster has lost control over a single and specific issue, however this is very rarely the case. 

Usually, the problem is the accumulation of a number of irritations which could span a fairly long period of time, particularly given the strong long-term memory abilities of young people on the autism spectrum.

Why The Problems Seem Hidden—

ASD kids don't tend to give a lot of clues that they are very irritated:
  • Often ASD child-grievances are aired as part of their normal conversation and may even be interpreted by NTs (i.e., neurotypicals, or people without autism) as part of their standard whining.
  • Some things which annoy ASD kids would not be considered annoying to NTs, and this makes NT's less likely to pick up on a potential problem.
  • Their facial expressions very often will not convey the irritation.
  • Their vocal tones will often remain flat even when they are fairly annoyed.

What Happens During A Meltdown—

The meltdown appears to most people as a temper tantrum. There are marked differences between adults and kids. Kids tend to flop onto the ground and shout, scream or cry. Quite often, they will display violent behavior such as hitting or kicking.

In adults, due to social pressures, violent behavior in public is less common. Shouting outbursts or emotional displays can occur though. More often, it leads to depression and the ASD man or woman simply retreats into themselves and abandons social contact.

Some ASD kids describe the meltdown as a red or grey band across the eyes. There is a loss of control and a feeling of being a powerless observer outside the body. This can be dangerous as the ASD youngster may strike out, particularly if the instigator is nearby or if the "Aspie" is taunted during a meltdown.

Depression—

Sometimes, depression is the only outward visible sign of a meltdown. At other times, depression results when the ASD youngster leaves the meltdown state and confronts the results of the meltdown. The depression is a result of guilt over abusive, shouting or violent behavior.

Dealing With Meltdowns—

Unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do when a meltdown occurs in a child on the autism spectrum. The best thing you can do is to train yourself to recognize a meltdown before it happens and take steps to avoid it.

Example from one mother: "ASD kids are quite possessive about their food, and my autistic child will sometimes decide that he does not want his meat to be cut up for him. When this happens, taking his plate from him and cutting his meat could cause a full-blown meltdown. The best way to deal with this is to avoid touching it for the first part of the meal until he starts to want my involvement. When this occurs, instead of taking his plate from him, it is more effective to lean over and help him to cut the first piece. Once he has cut the first piece with help, he will often allow the remaining pieces to be cut for him."

Once the youngster reaches an age where they can understand (around age 4 or so), you can work on explaining the situation. One way you could do this would be to discreetly videotape a meltdown and allow them to watch it at a later date. You could then discuss the incident, explain why it isn't socially acceptable, and give them some alternatives.

One adult "Aspie" stated the following:

"When I was little, I remember that the single best motivation for keeping control was once when my mother called me in after play and talked about the day. In particular, she highlighted an incident where I had fallen down and hurt myself. She said, 'Did you see how your friend started to go home as soon as you fell down because they were scared that you were going to have a meltdown?' She went on to say, 'When you got up and laughed, they were so happy that they came racing back. I'm proud of you for controlling your emotions.' That was a good moment for me that day. It really gave me some insight into how I tended to respond quickly without much forethought. I carried this with me for years later and would always strive to contain myself. I wouldn't always succeed, but at least I was trying."

Meltdowns And Punishment—

One of the most important things to realize is that meltdowns are part of the ASD condition. You can't avoid them; merely try to reduce the damage. Punishing an ASD youngster for a meltdown is like punishing someone for swearing when they hit their thumb with a hammer. It won't do any good whatsoever and can only serve to increase the distance between you and your youngster.

In addition, meltdowns aren't wholly caused by the current scenario, but are usually the result of an overwhelming number of other issues. The one which "causes" the meltdown is the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Unless you're a mind reader, you won't necessarily know what the other factors are, and your ASD youngster may not be able to fully communicate the problem.

Every teacher of ASD students and every mom or dad of an ASD child can expect to witness some meltdowns. On average, meltdowns are equally common in boys and girls, and more than half of autistic kids will have one or more per week.

At home, there are predictable situations that can be expected to trigger meltdowns, for example:
  • bath time
  • bedtime
  • car rides
  • dinner time
  • family activities involving siblings
  • family visiting another house
  • getting dressed
  • getting up
  • interactions with peers
  • mom or dad talking on the phone
  • playtime
  • public places
  • visitors at the house
  • watching TV

Other settings include:
  • answering questions in class
  • directives from the teacher
  • getting ready to work
  • group activities
  • individual seat work
  • interactions with other children
  • on the school bus
  • the playground
  • transitions between activities

From time to time, all ASD kids will whine, complain, resist, cling, argue, hit, shout, run, and defy authority figures. Meltdowns, although normal, can become upsetting to parents and teachers because they are embarrassing, challenging, and difficult to manage. Also, meltdowns can become particularly difficult to manage when they occur with greater frequency, intensity, and duration than is typical for the age of the ASD kid.

There are nine different types of temperaments in kids on the spectrum:

1. Distracted temperament predisposes the kid to pay more attention to his or her surroundings than to the caregiver.

2. High-intensity level temperament moves the kid to yell, scream, or hit hard when feeling threatened.

3. Hyperactive temperament predisposes the kid to respond with fine- or gross-motor activity.

4. Initial withdrawal temperament is found when kids get clingy, shy, and unresponsive in new situations and around unfamiliar people.

5. Irregular temperament moves the kid to escape the source of stress by needing to eat, drink, sleep, or use the bathroom at irregular times when he or she does not really have the need.

6. Low sensory threshold temperament is evident when the kid complains about tight clothes and people staring and refuses to be touched by others.

7. Negative mood temperament is found when kids appear lethargic, sad and lack the energy to perform a task.

8. Negative persistent temperament is seen when the kid seems stuck in his or her whining and complaining.

9. Poor adaptability temperament shows itself when kids resist, shut down, and become passive-aggressive when asked to change activities.

Around age 2, some ASD kids will start having what I refer to as "normal meltdowns." These bouts can last until approximately age 4. Some parents (thinking in terms of temper tantrums) mistakenly call this stage "the terrible twos," and others call it "first adolescence" because the struggle for independence is similar to what is seen during adolescence. Regardless of what the stage is called, there is a normal developmental course for meltdowns in children on the autism spectrum.

Children on the spectrum  during this stage will test the limits. They want to see how far they can go before mom or dad stops their behavior. At age 2, ASD kids are very egocentric and can't see another person’s point of view. They want independence and self-control to explore their environment. When they can't reach a goal, they show frustration by crying, arguing, yelling, or hitting. When their need for independence collides with the parents' needs for safety and conformity, the conditions are perfect for a power struggle and a meltdown. 

A meltdown is designed to get the parents to desist in their demands or give the child what he or she wants. Many times, ASD kids stop the meltdown only when they get what is desired. What is most upsetting to parents is that it is virtually impossible to reason with ASD kids who are having a meltdown. Arguing and cajoling in response to a meltdown only escalates the problem.

By age 3, many young people on the spectrum are less impulsive and can use language to express their needs. Meltdowns at this age are often less frequent and less severe. Nevertheless, some preschoolers have learned that a meltdown is a good way to get what they want.

By age 4, most ASD kids have the necessary motor and physical skills to meet many of their own needs without relying so much on the parent. At this age, these young people also have better language that allows them to express their anger and to problem-solve and compromise. Despite these improved skills, even kindergarten-age and school-age ASD kids can still have meltdowns when they are faced with demanding academic tasks and new interpersonal situations in school.

It is much easier to “prevent” meltdowns than it is to manage them once they have erupted.  Here are some tips for preventing meltdowns and some things you can say:

1. Avoid boredom. Say, “You have been working for a long time. Let’s take a break and do something fun.”

2. Change environments, thus removing the child from the source of the meltdown. Say, “Let’s go for a walk.”

3. Choose your battles. Teach them how to make a request without a meltdown and then honor the request. Say, “Try asking for that toy nicely and I’ll get it for you.”

4. Create a safe environment that these children can explore without getting into trouble. Childproof your home or classroom so they can explore safely.

5. Distract them by redirection to another activity when they meltdown over something they should not do or can't have. Say, “Let’s read a book together.”

6. Do not "ask" ASD kids to do something when they must do what you ask. Do not ask, “Would you like to eat now?” Say, “It's dinnertime now.”

7. Establish routines and traditions that add structure. For teachers, start class with a sharing time and opportunity for interaction.

8. Give these children control over little things whenever possible by giving choices. A little bit of power given to the kid can stave-off the big power struggles later (e.g., “Which do you want to do first, brush your teeth or put on your pajamas?”).

9. Increase your tolerance level. Are you available to meet the ASD kid’s reasonable needs? Evaluate how many times you say, “No.” Avoid fighting over minor things.

10. Keep a sense of humor to divert the child's attention and surprise him or her out of the meltdown.

11. Keep off-limit objects out of sight and therefore out of mind. In an art activity, keep the scissors out of reach if the child is not ready to use them safely.

12. Make sure that ASD kids are well rested and fed in situations in which a meltdown is a likely possibility. Say, “Dinner is almost ready, here’s a cracker for now.”

13. Provide pre-academic, behavioral, and social challenges that are at the ASD kid’s developmental level so that he or she doesn't become frustrated.

14. Reward them for positive attention rather than negative attention. During situations when they are prone to meltdowns, catch them when they are being good and say things like, “Nice job sharing with your friend.”

15. Signal them before you reach the end of an activity so that they can get prepared for the transition. Say, “When the timer goes off 5 minutes from now, it will be time to turn off the TV and go to bed.”

16. When visiting new places or unfamiliar people, explain to the child beforehand what to expect. Say, “Stay with your assigned buddy in the museum.”

There are a number of ways to “handle” a meltdown that is already underway.  Strategies include the following:

1. Hold the ASD  kid who is out of control and is going to hurt himself or herself (or someone else). Let the child know that you will let him or her go as soon as he or she calms down. Reassure the child that everything will be all right, and help him or her calm down. Moms and dads may need to hug their Aspergers kid who is crying, and say they will always love him or her no matter what, but that the behavior has to change. This reassurance can be comforting for an Aspergers kid who may be afraid because he or she lost control.

2. If the youngster has escalated the meltdown to the point where you are not able to intervene in the ways described above, then you may need to direct the child to time-out. If you are in a public place, carry your child outside or to the car. Tell him that you will go home unless he calms down. In school, warn the student up to three times that it is necessary to calm down, and give a reminder of the rule. If the student refuses to comply, then place him in time-out for no more than 1 minute for each year of age.

3. Remain calm and do not argue. Before you manage her, you must manage your own behavior. Punishing or yelling at the child during a meltdown will make it worse.

4. Talk with the child after he has calmed down. When he stops crying, talk about the frustration the he has experienced. Try to help solve the problem if possible. For the future, teach the child new skills to help avoid meltdowns (e.g., how to ask appropriately for help, how to signal an adult that he  needs to go to “time away” to “stop, think, and make a plan” ...and so on). Teach the Aspergers kid how to try a more successful way of interacting with a peer or sibling, how to express his feelings with words, and recognize the feelings of others without hitting and screaming.

5. Think before you act. Count to 10 and then think about the source of the ASD kid’s frustration, the child’s characteristic temperamental response to stress (e.g., hyperactivity, distractibility, moodiness, etc.), and the predictable steps in the escalation of the meltdown.

6. Try to intervene before the youngster is out of control. Get down at her eye level and say, “You are starting to get revved up, let's slow down.” Now you have several choices of intervention.

7. You can ignore the meltdown if it is being thrown to get your attention. Once the ASD kid calms down, you can give the attention that is desired.

8. You can place the youngster in "time away." Time away is a quiet place where he goes to calm down, think about what he needs to do, and with your help, make a plan to change the behavior.

9. You can positively distract the child by getting her focused on something else that is an acceptable activity (e.g., remove the unsafe item and replace with an age-appropriate game).

Post-Meltdown Management—

1. Do not reward the child after a meltdown for calming down. Some kids will learn that a meltdown is a good way to get a treat later.

2. Explain to the child that there are better ways to get what she wants.

3. Never let the meltdown interfere with your otherwise positive relationship with your child.

4. Never, under any circumstances, give in to a meltdown. That response will only increase the number and frequency of the meltdowns.

5. Teach the youngster that anger is a feeling that we all have, and then teach her ways to express anger constructively.


Best Comment—

My name is Sharon, I have been with Elliott for over ten years and we have a son Brandon who is 6 yr old. They both have aspergers syndrome we are awaiting Brandon’s appointment with the paediatrician consultant for diagnosis, but I am 110% sure it will be aspergers. I am feeling in the thick of it of late I have and am constantly looking for local support and forums online etc to reach out for guidance and any support also to offer my own support to others. I am a person centred therapist and in the past have worked in supporting children and adults on the autistic spectrum, I do have a good insight into the autistic spectrum but nothing prepares you for how it feels actually living 24/7 with it.

Firstly the biggest part for me is the heart break and hurt I feel for my son, then the worry and concern how he will get along in life. I am very pro active and of late have worked well with school to best advise them how we support Brandon’s needs it’s been an uphill struggle for the last year especially as they don't seem to have the knowledge or the amenities to support him.

I have been called to school several times of late because of his "disruptive" behaviour,, basically his stimming he does get louder if in a louder environment the teachers know this is a trigger and he is left alone to deal with this instead of being prepared for a change of noise or scenery or even a much needed teaching assistant who could work alongside him. If he gets too disruptive he is taken out of the class environment for "time out" is this a good way of dealing with it? As we have told school time out at home is if he is naughty, which generally he is never naughty. we have what we call quiet time at home where sometimes when he feels over load we just find a quiet place to sit together and relax or read whatever he wants really but it brings him down and more settled to cope better.

Again it will mean another meeting or ten..... To resolve or make a better learning environment for Brandon. They say they can’t do anything till he’s been statemented and funded for an assistant or further support. But they will assist him as best they can and I do feel listened to but there is of late something new nearly every day that needs adaption which imp fine with I am aware he defiantly needs some support. I have been on an emotional roller coaster.

It feels so isolating as support around this neck of woods is minimal. Brandon’s upset of late is his lack of friends he just wants his family to be at school all day every day his words because we love him! So the social aspect this is. So I discussed with head teacher and she has set a buddy system up for him its yet to be seen to be working, as I know how difficult it is for Brandon to mix and communicate with his peers and when he does he gets rejected.

We have tried so many routes with this he seems to connect with kids in play areas as he and they are generally being quite boisterous but its time limited so he feels less pressure. We are also in process of groups i.e. dancing as he loves to dance (street dance) and maybe other recreations of his choice. It feels like a very long a winding road what we are on I know I haven't spoke much bout Elliott having spent ten years with him would have thought Brandon’s aspergers may come easier to me understanding wise yes but on a personal level it’s so upsetting.

Other points are his eating habits he is a very bland eater and eats the same few foods we supplement with vitamins he is quite small in frame but eats quite well the foods he does enjoy think they call it the beige diet he has no colour in his food at all (pasta, no sauce, chicken nuggets, crisps plain flavour, crumpets, bread, some types of rice, certain chocolate, milk, Yorkshire puddings) there’s a few more but as you can see limited. We have tried so many different ways to entice him I would be grateful if you could give me any tips.

Feels like I am going on now, the list goes on his sensory issues really do dictate to him and us how the day goes sometimes, and he is becoming more and more aware of his stims and repetitive behaviour today its clapping and repeating words it was a machine gun noise (constantly)and random moves it varies from day. I feel I need more guidance in how to help/support Brandon. The melt downs are becoming more and more but he only does this with his dad I have a calming effect as soon as he starts in melt down they pretty much calm after I’ve been around him a few minutes. The routines he has etc seem to help a lot too.

If you can pull anything out of this letter and feedback I would be grateful there will be things I have missed but feel free to ask me any further questions. He also as 3 older step siblings 15, 19, 21 and they are very loving and supportive with him and very understanding. He as a great relationship with all of us in our family unit. Feels like the outside world is a daunting prospect right now.

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ASD Teenagers and "Homework-Related" Meltdowns: Tips for Frustrated Parents

“My 14 yr. old daughter with ASD (level 1) basically refuses to do her homework. It’s a daily struggle that results in meltdown. Desperate ...please help! Any advice will be greatly appreciated.”

As most parents already know, ASD level 1, or High Functioning Autism (HFA), disrupts the youngster’s academic abilities in multiple areas (e.g., a lowered tolerance for new situations or sudden transitions, lack of organizational skills, inconsistent energy levels, high distractibility, excessive interest in only one or two subjects to the exclusion of all others, etc.). 

All of these can present challenges when attempting to complete homework. Fortunately, there are some basic strategies that moms and dads can undertake to help prevent those dreaded evening meltdowns related to homework.

Let’s look at some specific strategies to help your HFA teenager follow through with completing homework…

1. Break-Down Large Assignments— Since some homework assignments can be overwhelming for kids with HFA, parents may need to work closely with their youngster to help her get started. Providing one or two examples may be all that is required in some cases. For more complicated work, moms and dads may want to demonstrate how to break it down into smaller steps. This added attention may be needed for each unfamiliar assignment.

2. Eliminate Vagueness— Some assignments may be unclear to the child (and even to parents). If this happens often, it would be best for you to communicate with the teacher about your youngster’s needs. Receiving more detailed instructions for upcoming assignments will go a long way to ensuring that homework gets done correctly and without meltdowns. The key is to get the information ahead of time so that your youngster can be prepared for – not surprised with – an unknown.

3.  Establish Consistent Time and Place— Observe your youngster and see what hinders her from completing her work. This is paramount to planning homework sessions. During these observations, jot down answers to the following questions about your youngster: Does she fatigue quickly? Is she easily distracted by noise or activity? What frustrates or upsets her? What is her best time of day?

After observing your youngster for a few days, establish a consistent time for homework, preferably when she is well fed, rested and at her best. The amount of time she spends on homework nightly will vary by grade level. When homework length begins to increase, she may stay more focused with short breaks. Incorporate these into the schedule and make sure she has enough time to complete assignments without rushing. It’s also helpful to have a special homework location away from the TV, radio, or other distractions. In addition, kids with HFA can be frustrated by clutter, so make sure that the workspace is organized and that all necessary materials for homework are available and easy to find.

4. Incorporate Interests— A unique quality of high functioning kids on the autism spectrum is that they can develop abnormally intense interests in one or two subjects (e.g., weather, sports statistics, computers, etc.). Using a little ingenuity, moms and dads can persuade the youngster to do seemingly unrelated work by integrating her interests. For example, kids fascinated by computers may be encouraged to complete writing assignments using an online dictionary. Kids who have nightly reading requirements could be allowed to choose books that are related to weather, dinosaurs, or other science topics of interest. If the youngster seems to dislike math, create word problems for practicing addition, subtraction, and multiplication using subjects such as baseball or cars.

5. Provide Daily Routine in Other Areas of the Child’s Life— Homework can be easier for kids on the spectrum when they are already used to a lot of structured, daily routines. A child who has developed the habit of feeding the dog every day immediately after school, for example, will be more likely to do homework every day immediately after dinner. Getting started with a highly-structured daily routine when the child is young goes a long way in avoiding "homework battles" during adolescence.

Kids with HFA possess unique skills and can grow to be highly productive, thriving members of society. But, like everyone, they face their own set of challenges along the way. Homework may be one of those challenges. With careful planning however, moms and dads can make this necessary and important chore less problematic and help to pave their youngster’s way to academic success.


COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said… Does she have an IEP or 504? Does she really need the homework to keep up on grades? You could request shortened or no homework, or time for her to do it in school.
•    Anonymous said… Hi, my Son doesn't like Monday's finds it hard and often spikes his anxiety. I have now told him that we have 'no homework Monday's' which has elieviated Meltdowns from school. Monday evenings are more for arts and crafts and leggo. But he knows Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays are homework days for Math, Eng and Reading. It seems to be working. I think it's about placing a compromise and balance which will engage and help your child. Hope this helps
•    Anonymous said… I arranged with the school to only have maximum 30 min of homework a night...then put a visual timer on so she knows how long she has to do her homework! Helps a lot!
•    Anonymous said… I don't know how we got to the point where he goes and get it done other than living through the tantrums. He would be grounded from his tablet and electrons. We tried to focus him on goals, cillege, what he wants to be and that it has to get done. It's okay to not like it but it has to get done. It's been a very rough 2 years but seeing an improvement this year most days....not all
•    Anonymous said… I have Asperger's myself and I have specific interests like certain kinds of music. If I were your daughter and I refused to do my homework, you could forbid me to listen to any music and I would do my homework then. It's the motivation that you'll get things you desire if the important work gets done first. Hope that helps!
•    Anonymous said… I think exemptions should only be used as a last resort. They have to learn that you have to do things you don't like. It's a part of life. Believe me I have lived the tantrums the screaming the crying the throwing things the hitting the I hate you your ruining my life. It's he'll but they have to learn and grow and hw is part of it
•    Anonymous said… School is 6 hours a day 5 days a week. Each to their own. My son is doing really well at school therefore we don't need to go through unnecessary meltdowns etc. We pick our battles and at this point we are happy he goes to school.
•    Anonymous said… Thanks for the article, very interesting.

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Preventing Meltdowns in Students with ASD: Advice for Teachers

"Do you have any simple, 'cut-to-the-chase' advice I could share with my son's teacher (who seems to know very little about how to handle students on the autism spectrum who 'meltdown')? He is currently in the 6th grade and has a new teacher."

Sure. Here goes...


Students with ASD level 1, or High Functioning Autism (HFA), desperately need support from educators when they struggle with emotional and behavioral issues in school. Here are many helpful strategies that every teacher should know:

HFA can co-exist with other disorders (e.g., ADHD, depression, anxiety). But mostly, this disorder affects the ability to socialize. These youngsters have difficulty recognizing facial expressions, sarcasm, and teasing, and struggle to adapt to unexpected changes in routine. Their interests tend to be very narrow, and this can limit their capacity to relate to others.

Due to these struggles, kids on the autism spectrum oftentimes experience anger, fear, sadness, and frustration. There are several effective interventions that can be employed in the classroom to help improve the youngster’s learning experience. These can assist the student in feeling more comfortable and decrease anxiety, paving the way for academic achievement.
 

1. Make a Plan for Emotional Outbursts— Provide a quiet place for the student who has frequent meltdowns. This may be a trip to the bathroom with a classroom aide, or a visit to the school counselor. A written plan for coping in these periods of high stress is critical for an HFA student’s success.

2. Make Classroom Rules Clear— Students with HFA thrive on rules, but will often ignore them when they are vague or not meaningful. Educators should detail the most important classroom rules and why they exist. A written list prominently displayed, or a handout of the classroom rules can be very helpful.

3. Minimize Surprises in the Classroom— Youngsters on the autism spectrum need structured settings to succeed. They do not like surprises. Things like sudden seating changes or unexpected modifications to the routine could cause anxiety and even meltdowns. Educators should try to provide ample warnings if there is to be a change of plans (e.g., sending a note home to the parent if a seating change is imminent).

A back up plan can be presented to the class in anticipation of schedule changes (e.g., when the Friday schedule that usually includes watching an educational film in the afternoon changes if time is short, the teacher should inform the students ahead of time that they will work on free reading or journaling instead).

4. Promote Supportive Friendships— If it seems appropriate, educate the class about autism spectrum disorders. Develop empathy by making students aware of inappropriate words and bullying behaviors. Highlight the "special needs" youngster’s strengths in classroom lessons to enable him to find friends with common interests.

If the student on the spectrum seems to be struggling with friendships, group him during classroom activities with those that are more kind and empathetic. At recess or lunch, try assigning a “classroom buddy” who will be supportive and guide the youngster through those more chaotic times.

5. Provide Sensory Support— Many kids with HFA also experience sensory processing issues. Sensitivity to light, sound, touch, taste, and smells can irritate the youngster, making him more likely to act out or withdraw. Consult the mom or dad to determine what these sensitivities are. Minimizing classroom chaos, noise, and clutter will be a good start.

If possible, get help from an occupational therapist and try to work sensory breaks into the youngster’s school day. Chores such as returning a load of books to the library, or even doing a few jumping jacks in the hallway, can go a long way in helping the youngster realign and get back to learning.

Helping kids with HFA in the classroom is yet another challenge for today’s overburdened educators. However, with insightful monitoring, parental and professional guidance, and creative strategies, a love of school and learning can be fostered in these young people kids.

Causes of School-Related Anxiety in Kids on the Autism Spectrum

It's common for ASD level 1 (high functioning autistic) children of all ages to experience school anxiety and school-related stress.

This is often most apparent at the end of summer when school is about to start again, but it can occur year-round. Social, academic and scheduling factors play a major role, as do hidden environmental stressors.

Below are some of the anxiety-related factors that both moms and dads and teachers should consider when dealing with ASD children:

1. Many schools now have anti-bullying programs and policies. Though bullying does still happen at many schools, even those with these policies, help is generally more easily accessible than it was years ago. The bad news is that bullying has gone high-tech. Many children use the Internet, cell phones and other media devices to bully other children, and this type of bullying often gets very aggressive. 

One reason is that bullies can be anonymous and enlist other bullies to make their target miserable. Another reason is that they don't have to face their targets, so it's easier to shed any empathy that they may otherwise feel. There are ways to combat cyber-bullying, but many moms and dads aren't aware of them – and many bullied Aspies feel too overwhelmed to deal with the situation.


2. Most ASD children want to have friends but may not have the social skills to acquire them. Concerns about not having enough friends, not being in the same class as friends, not being able to keep up with friends in one particular area or another, interpersonal conflicts, and peer pressure are a few of the very common ways children on the autism spectrum can be stressed by their social lives (or lack of a social life) at school.

3. Children are being assigned a heavier homework load than in past years – and that extra work can add to a busy schedule and take a toll.

4. Due in part to the busyness of kids’ lives and the hectic schedules of most moms and dads, the sit-down family dinner has become the exception rather than the rule in many households. While there are other ways to connect as a family, many families find that they’re too busy to spend time together and have both the important discussions and the casual day recaps that can be so helpful for Aspies in dealing with the issues they face. Due to a lack of available family time, many moms and dads aren't as connected to their children, or knowledgeable about the issues they face.

5. Not having necessary supplies can be a very stressful experience for an autistic youngster. If the youngster doesn't have an adequate lunch, didn't bring his signed permission slip, or doesn't have a red shirt to wear on "Red Shirt Day," for example, he may experience significant stress.

6. You may already know that there are different styles of learning -- some learn better by listening, others retain information more efficiently if they see the information written out, and still others prefer learning by doing. If there's a mismatch in learning style and classroom, or if your youngster has a learning disability (especially an undiscovered one), this can obviously lead to a stressful academic experience.

7. Noisy classrooms and hallways, noise pollution from nearby airports, heavy traffic, and other sources have been shown to cause stress that impacts ASD kids’ performance in school.

8. Many Aspies aren't getting enough sleep to function well each day. As schedules get busier, even young children are finding themselves habitually sleep-deprived. This can affect health and cognitive functioning, both of which impact school performance. Operating under a sleep deficit doesn’t just mean sleepiness, it can also lead to poor cognitive functioning, lack of coordination, moodiness, and other negative effects.

9. In an effort to give their autistic children an edge, or to provide the best possible developmental experiences, some moms and dads are enrolling their children in too many extra-curricular activities. As these children become teens, school extracurricular activities become much more demanding.


10. With the overabundance of convenience food available these days and the time constraints many experience, the average Aspie's diet has more sugar and less nutritious content than is recommended. This can lead to mood swings, lack of energy, and other negative effects that impact stress levels.

11. Most Aspies experience some level of stress or anxiety in social situations they encounter in school. While some of these issues provide important opportunities for growth, they must be handled with care and can cause anxiety that must be dealt with.

12. A good experience with a caring teacher can cause a lasting impression on a youngster's life – but so can a bad experience! While most teachers do their best to provide “special needs kids” with a positive educational experience, some Aspies are better suited for certain teaching styles and classroom types than others. If there's a mismatch between student and teacher, the youngster can form lasting negative feelings about school or his own abilities.

13. Many of us experience test anxiety, regardless of whether or not we're prepared for exams. Unfortunately, some studies show that greater levels of test anxiety can actually hinder performance on exams. Reducing test anxiety can actually improve scores. Certain aspects of an ASD youngster's environment can also cause stress that can spill over and affect school performance.

14. There's a lot of pressure for children to learn more and more and at younger ages than in past generations. For example, while a few decades ago kindergarten was a time for learning letters, numbers, and basics, most kindergarteners today are expected to read. With test scores being heavily weighted and publicly known, schools and teachers are under great pressure to produce high test scores; that pressure can be passed on to children.

15. Just as it can be stressful to handle a heavy and challenging workload, some kids on the spectrum can experience stress from work that isn't difficult enough. They can respond by acting-out or tuning-out in class, which leads to poor performance, masks the root of the problem, and perpetuates the difficulties.

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD

Dealing with Children on the Autism Spectrum Who Refuse to Go to School

Has your ASD (high functioning autistic) child given you some indication that he is nervous about starting back to school?  He may have even said, “I’m not going!!!

What youngster hasn't dreaded September, the end of summer and the return to school – but for many ASD students, the prospect of school produces a level of fear so intense that it is immobilizing, resulting in what's known as school-refusal behavior. Some children with autism spectrum disorder have been known to be absent for weeks or months. 

Some may cry or scream for hours every morning in an effort to resist leaving home. Others may hide out in the nurse's office. Some children who miss school are simply truant (i.e., they'd just rather be doing something else), but sometimes there are genuine reasons to fear school (e.g., bullying, teasing).

Anywhere from 5% to 28% of kids will exhibit some degree of school-refusal behavior at some point, including truancy. For children with anxiety-fueled school refusal, the fear is real and can take time to overcome. Families may struggle for months to help an autistic youngster get back into the classroom. Ignoring the problem or failing to deal with it completely can lead to more-serious problems later on. Individuals who experience school-refusal behavior and anxiety disorders in childhood may face serious ramifications in adulthood.

Psychologists say and studies show the following:
  • Alcohol, drug use: A study of kids ages 9 to 13 with an anxiety disorder showed that those who still had the disorder seven years after treatment drank alcohol more often and were more likely to use marijuana than those whose disorders had resolved.
  • Depression: Teens and young adults ages 14 to 24 that had social anxiety were almost three times as likely to develop depression later on than those without the anxiety disorder.
  • Different life choices: Psychologists say they've seen young people with persistent anxiety make fear-fueled choices that can have long term effects, such as selecting a less-rigorous college or a less challenging career.
  • Psychiatric treatment: A study of school-refusing kids showed that about 20 to 29 years later they received more psychiatric treatment than the general population.

School refusal affects the entire family. If a child doesn't go to school, it may be hard for a parent to keep her job. Children are at heightened risk when starting a new school, and especially when entering middle school. It is the perfect storm with the onset of puberty, a huge transition and a chaotic academic environment.

Well-meaning moms and dads can make things worse by allowing an anxious youngster to miss school. Such an accommodation sends the message that school is too scary for the youngster to handle and the fear is justified. Overprotective moms and dads rush in way too quickly to shield their Aspie from any experience that creates distress.

Untreated, a youngster on the spectrum with school-refusal behavior is likely to fall behind academically, which can then lead to more anxiety. And there may be longer-term consequences. A 1997 study followed 35 students (ages 7-12) treated for school refusal. Twenty years later they were found to have had more psychiatric treatment and to have lived with their parents more often than a comparison group.

Some ASD teens with unresolved anxiety may go on to self-medicate with alcohol and drugs. A 2004 study followed 9- to 13-year-olds who were treated for an anxiety disorder. Seven years after treatment, those who still had the disorder drank alcohol more days per month and were more likely to use marijuana than those whose disorder had resolved.

Children with school-refusal behavior may have (a) separation anxiety (i.e., a fear of being away from their moms and dads), (b) a social phobia (i.e., an inordinate fear of being judged), or (c) a fear of being called-on in class or being teased. A specific phobia (e.g., riding the bus, walking past a dog, being out in a storm, etc.) may be present as well. Other kids are depressed, in some cases unable to get out of bed.

Because many children complain of headaches, stomachaches or other physical symptoms, it can be difficult to tell whether anxiety, or a physical illness, is to blame. (Note: Anxiety-fueled ailments tend to disappear magically on weekends.)

Autistic kids with school refusal may complain of physical symptoms shortly before it is time to leave for school or repeatedly ask to visit the school nurse. If the youngster is allowed to stay home, the symptoms quickly disappear, only to reappear the next morning. In some cases, the child  may refuse to leave the house. Common physical symptoms include headaches, stomachaches, nausea, or diarrhea. Tantrums, inflexibility, separation anxiety, avoidance, and defiance may show up, too.

Starting school, moving, and other stressful life events may trigger the onset of school refusal. Other reasons include the youngster’s fear that something will happen to a parent after he is in school, fear that she won’t do well in school, or fear of another student. Often a symptom of a deeper problem, anxiety-based school refusal affects 2 to 5 percent of school-age kids. It commonly takes place between the ages of five and six and between ten and eleven, and at times of transition, such as entering middle and high school. Kids who suffer from school refusal tend to have average or above-average intelligence. But they may develop serious educational or social problems if their fears and anxiety keep them away from school and friends for any length of time.

What Can Parents Do?

The most important thing a mother or father can do is obtain a comprehensive evaluation from a mental health professional. That evaluation will reveal the reasons behind the school refusal and can help determine what kind of treatment will be best. Your youngster’s pediatrician should be able to recommend a mental health professional in your area who works with kids on the spectrum.

The following tips will help you and your Aspie develop coping strategies for school anxieties and other stressful situations:
  • Arrange an informal meeting with your youngster’s teacher away from the classroom.
  • Emphasize the positive aspects of going to school: being with friends, learning a favorite subject, and playing at recess.
  • Encourage hobbies and interests. Fun is relaxation, and hobbies are good distractions that help build self-confidence.
  • Expose kids to school in small degrees, increasing exposure slowly over time. Eventually this will help them realize there is nothing to fear and that nothing bad will happen.
  • Help your Aspie establish a support system. A variety of people should be in your youngster’s life—other kids as well as family members or educators who are willing to talk with your youngster should the occasion arise.
  • Learn about your Aspie’s anxiety disorder and treatment options. For more information about school refusal and kid’s anxiety disorders, type "anxiety" and/or "school problems" in the search box at the top of this page.
  • Meet with the school guidance counselor for extra support and direction.
  • Talk with your Aspie about feelings and fears, which helps reduce them.
  • Try self-help methods with your Aspie. In addition to a therapist’s recommendations, a good self-help book will provide relaxation techniques. Be open to new ideas so that your youngster is, too.

Treatment—

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), in which clients learn to change negative thoughts and behavior, is the main treatment for school-refusal behavior and the anxiety disorders that often underlie it. The primary technique is exposure therapy, where children gradually face and master their fears.

CBT is very effective. Recent studies have shown that about half to 70% of children with anxiety disorders treated with CBT will have a significant improvement in function and decrease in their symptoms. Some specialized school-refusal clinics have success rates that are even higher.

Antidepressants such as Zoloft (sertraline) or Prozac (fluoxetine) are often prescribed for kids with anxiety disorders, although their use in kids is controversial.

Psychologists stress the importance of seeking treatment quickly—after as little as two weeks of missed school. The longer they've been out of school, the poorer the prognosis.

2024 Statistics of Autism in Chinese Children

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) has emerged as a significant public health concern worldwide, and China is no exception. As of 2024, new rese...